5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise

Worthiness. We are all born with an innate sense of worth. As babies we cry for food, demand attention and insist on doing things OUR WAY. It is this sense of worth that actually keeps us alive.

As women and mothers we tend to lose that sense of self-worth. So much of our time is spent tending to the needs of others, calming crying babies, assuaging angry partners, talking down disappointed clients, that we stop taking care of ourselves. And when we stop attending to our own needs we start losing our sense of self worth.

This is not ok. Not knowing how worthy we are can lead to patterns of behavior that only reinforce our belief that we are not worthy of being loved, cared for or living the life of our dreams. We let our children run all over us, our partners take us for granted and our bosses demean us. We stop eating well and taking care of ourselves and we stop reaching for what we want.

So here are my 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise.

#1 – Love yourself like you love your kids.

Take a moment and feel in your body how much you love your kids. That’s an easy feeling to get in touch with, isn’t it? You love your kids unconditionally and would lay down your life for them.

Now, imagine how it would feel to love yourself that way. To know that you always have someone with you who could remind you how awesome you are or to point out that you are totally capable of walking into your boss’ office and asking for what you need.

It would feel pretty good right?

So get in touch with your inner mom and keep her with you always.

#2 – Call your mother.

Look back on #1. Think about how you love your kids. Your mother loves you that much too. So call her.

I have a client who has a twice a weekly phone call with her mother. They don’t talk about anything in particular, just what is happening in each other’s lives.

This client’s mother is her daughter’s most faithful fan and cheerleader. She always reminds her daughter of what a great job she is doing as a parent and a wife, the toughest jobs in the world, and what a wonderful daughter she is for keeping in touch so often.

My client says that having one person in her life who regularly reminds her of her awesomeness has changed her life. It gives her the confidence in herself that feeds her desire to be all that she can be.

#3 – Think back to your wedding day

Your wedding day was a big day. It was a day that you and your partner promised to love and care for each other for a very long time. It was a day when your friends and family stood up for the two of you, supporting you as you started off on your life together.

Take a moment, pull out a photo if you have to, and remember how you felt on that day. The love you and your partner shared and the love that your friends and family gave you unconditionally. And look at how happy you were cutting that cake…

Remembering your wedding day will remind you that you love and are loved by a lot of people. And what better way to touch base with that inner self-worth than through a little bit of love?

#4 – Remember earlier successes

We have all had many, many successes in our lives but for some reason it is the failures that stick with us. You know those failures that keep you up at night, obsessing? Yep, those ones.

Instead of obsessing, try taking stock of the successes you have had. The “A” you got on your thesis in college, the interview that landed you that first job out of college, that dress you were rocking the day your partner first saw you, the 10lb child you gave birth to in 3 hours, without drugs. Those are all pretty huge successes. Ones you should celebrate.

Try keeping a list in your head, or even better on paper, of the successes that you have had in your life, the successes that deep down you are really proud of, and look back on them as needed. As reminders of just how amazing you are.

#5 – Relish your everyday victories

This is an important one. Many of us feel like we are failures all day, every day. We don’t pack an organic lunch for our kids and then we yell at them when they dawdle and miss the school bus. We are short with our partners when they let us down in some small way. We don’t get enough work done because we are trying to order shoes for the kids from Amazon. All of these we perceive as failures.

But really, we have successes in there too.

First and foremost, we get out of bed every day. Everyone should see that as a success. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

We might not pack organic but our kids do get lunch everyday. We might not have finished that spreadsheet but our kids will have shoes, which is important, and that spreadsheet will ultimately get finished.

And we get to crawl into bed with our partner at the end of the day and share the closeness that surviving another crazy day brings about.

So when those successes happen, recognize and relish them. Because you do have them. Every day.

So there you go. 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy.

 In order to live the life of your dreams you need to get back in touch with that child who knew her worth, who demanded that she get what she needed to survive and thrive.

So try my tips and see what happens. And I have more tips to share so get in touch with me NOW and we can get you on the way to living the life of your dreams.

 

 

 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Get Past Being Angry with your Partner – Even If You Just Want To Stay Mad

Conflict. We all have it.

We get angry with our mothers, our friends, our bosses and our kids. It is our partners, those we have chosen to love and cherish for a lifetime, with whom we seem to get the most angry. And this conflict, this anger, with our partners can be very destructive and get in the way of living the life of our dreams.

There are ways to get through conflict, however, and it is way easier than one would think.

Here are my 5 Ways to Get Past Being Angry with your Partner – Even If You Just Want To Stay Mad.

#1 – Carefully choose the time to talk.

This is key. If you talk to your partner when you are angry you will say things that you might not mean to say. Try to wait at least 2 hours after a disturbance before speaking up. This will give you the chance to calm down and speak more clearly.

Also, don’t pick a known stressful time to talk, like during bedtime or just after work. Try to pick a time when you are both calm and can approach the conversation with good energy instead of bad. I know calm time can be hard to find but when properly motivated you can find it.

#2 – Do not attack.

This is very important and something that many of us do without thinking. And it gets us nowhere.

Let’s say that your partner is always getting home from work late. Instead of saying “You are always late. Why do you have to be such a jerk?” try saying “It makes me sad when you are always home late from work. I work hard to get us all together for a family dinner and I really miss it when you aren’t there.”

Look carefully at the difference here. If you use the first example your partner will immediately get on the defensive and the conversation will be over before it begins.

In the second example you are sharing how you FEEL and no one can argue with how you FEEL. And how you feel is the truth.

What is not the truth is that your partner is a jerk for coming home late.

#3 – Respond in such a way that they know you understand what they are saying.

This is very hard to do and can feel very contrived but it is a key part of listening and being heard.

It’s called a reflective response. In the case of the example above, with the partner who didn’t come home in time for dinner, the perfect response for the partner to say would be: “I am sorry that my lateness makes you feel so sad.” With that statement you know that your partner has understood what you are trying to say.

And hopefully, with that understanding will come the motivation to not be home late.

#4 – Try to remember that we are all only human.

We all make mistakes. More often than not our troublesome actions are not a reflection of our feelings about someone but are the result of a variety of things (time, motivation, energy level, distractions) that all work together and create a situation that isn’t ideal.

Next time you are quick to react to something your partner does, take a moment a try to figure out why it happened. Perhaps you won’t need the two hours to decompress after all.

#5 – Be ready to say sorry and to forgive.

This can be the hardest thing of all for people… to say they are sorry and to forgive perceived wrongs… but it is one of the most important parts of any relationship.

Why don’t we want to say we are sorry? Because it will convey weakness? Because we can’t let go of our anger? Because we are embarrassed by our actions?

Whatever the reason, we need to learn how to do it. Next time you are having a disagreement with your partner, try apologizing. See how quickly the anger deflates, on both sides.

In the same vein, we need to forgive and not hold onto anger. Holding on to anger is one of the most destructive forces in any relationship. If your partner apologizes for his or her actions you need to find it in your heart to remember that they are only human and that they have taken responsibility for their actions and that life must move forward.

So there you go, 5 ways to get past being angry with your partner.

Conflict, and the resulting anger, with anyone can be devastating and especially so with a partner. Left unchecked anger can take on a life of it’s own and destroy everything in its path.

Don’t let that happen to you. Try the steps above tonight and see the difference. And then settle down to a nice peaceful, conflict free evening.

Sounds worth it, no?

Get in touch with me NOW for more ways to help your dreams come true. You will be happy you did!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely

Everywhere you look you are bombarded with the message that if you do this ONE THING (take a pill, buy a dress, fix your hair, lease a car) your life will change. And we have all tried that ONE THING and no miraculous change has occurred.

Shocking! And disappointing.

Working with a life coach is different. The life coach approach to change is different from anything that you have ever tried before and it’s potential to create significant change in your life is not to be underestimated.

Ready to be all that you want to be? Truly?

Here are my 5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely.

#1. A life coach will help you define what you want and who you want to be.

We know that we are dissatisfied with our lives but most of us don’t know what exactly that looks like. A life coach will help you take stock of your life and define where you are now and where you want to be.

Working with me, we will look at 5 key areas of your life: physical & mental health, life skills, relationship health, personal care, career satisfaction.

A good look at each of these areas will help us determine where you are now and where you want to be, information that is indispensable in the process of bringing about change.

#2 – A life coach will help you create a plan.

Once you have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to be it’s time to make a plan. You can try to do this on your own but oftentimes the prospect seems so overwhelming and off-putting that you just don’t know where to start. So you don’t.

A life coach can help you cut through the clutter and the chaos and help you create a plan to get you where you want to be, step by step.

#3 – A life coach will hold you accountable.

This is a key part of life coaching, one of those things that you really CAN’T find anywhere else. Seriously. Anywhere else.

We all have friends and loved ones who support us and promise to make sure that we do what we say we are going to do. But they love us and they don’t want to nag and they just want us to be happy. And all of that is wonderful but it doesn’t help you reach your dreams.

Every week your life coach will work with you to create action steps and every week the two of you will come up with a list of “homework,” things to be done to move you forward on your path.

The following week your coach will ask about your homework and, I promise that you are going to want to report in that you did it. And you will want to do it because you will see how remarkable is the change that is happening.

#4 – A life coach will power you through the obstacles.

Rocks get onto the road that we are traveling. Sometimes they are small ones that we can pick up and toss aside but sometimes they are boulders that will require a little more effort to maneuver around.

A life coach has the knowledge and experience to help you break through those rocks. A life coach can teach you tools that you need to get past any rock that might get in your way, big or small.

And those tools you can use now and carry in your toolbox forever.

#5 – A life coach will give you unconditional support and encouragement.

Think about a football coach. What does he do? He teaches his team how to play their best and cheers from the sidelines as they do so.

A life coach is the same way. A life coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader but at the same time teach you how to be your true self.

And a life coach will be there every step of the way, to help you when you falter and cheer you on when you succeed.

Isn’t that just the kind of unconditional support we all really want?

So there you go…5 Ways Working with a Life Coach Will Change Your Life.

So now you can see how life coaching really is that ONE THING that can help you bring about significant, wondrous change.

Working with a life coach will help you to finally live the life that you have always known you could live. And you don’t need to change your hair color or your ride to do so.

Of course, every time I mention a life coach above I mean ME, so get in touch with me NOW  and let’s getting started making your dreams come true!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!