5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible

So you have a dream. Something that you really want. Perhaps something that you have always wanted or maybe something you have just recently come to understand you want. You have a dream.

Time to make it happen. You can do it!

Here is my latest – 5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible.

#1 – Know what EXACTLY it is you want.

In order to get what you want to have to know exactly what it is you want.

I have a client who hired me because she wanted to move and she needed support to do so. “What,” I asked her, “does that mean, specifically?”

She wasn’t sure. She was renting and she hated her apartment. So I asked some questions.

Did she want to move to another apartment or a house? Did she want to continue to rent or to buy? Did she like her neighborhood or did she want to make a big move?

After some discussion she decided that she wanted to stay in her neighborhood and buy either a town home or an apartment.

She knew what she wanted. Next we started working on getting it for her.

#2 – Start taking steps NOW!

One of the biggest obstacles to getting what we want is that we get overwhelmed. The distance that we have to travel, and the obstacles that we have to overcome, can often times seem too overwhelming and so we stop before we even start.

For my client who wanted to move, she was so overwhelmed at the prospect of BUYING A HOUSE. So, instead on focusing on BUYING A HOUSE, I suggested that her first step was to go online and find some listings that she liked. Just to do that. When she was ready she would go look at some of them. The actual BUYING A HOUSE would be further down the road, when the time came.

She was not overwhelmed by the prospect of looking at some listings. So she did and she was off.

#3 – Recognize your fears.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles for getting what we want. Fear that we won’t get what we want. Fear that we will get hurt along the way. Fear that we will get what we want and then what will we do?

Identifying fears is the only way to deal with them.

For my client her fears were many.

She was scared of the process of looking at houses. So we started slowly with identifying listings and then moved onto actually looking.

She was scared that she wouldn’t find something she liked that she could afford. So she looked at many different places in her price range so she see what her options were.

She was scared of the mortgage process. So I had her meet with a mortgage broker who could walk her through the process.

Fears are going to happen but if you identify them, one at a time, you can deal with them.

#4 – NO second guessing.

For many of us we know what we want but other people have opinions and as a result we often lose sight of what that really is. Perhaps your dream gets modified because of something your mom suggests. Or perhaps you don’t believe you can do it because your sister reminds you that you have never succeeded before.

Don’t let this happen. Know what you want. Write it down. Write down the path to getting it. Write down the obstacles that will present themselves. Write down your fears.

When someone tries to question you, refer to your lists, remind yourself what it is that you want, that you know how to get there and that you are going to. No matter what!

You can do it!

#5 – Never never never give up.

Yes, obstacles are going to arise, fears are going to rear their ugly head and you are going to get supremely overwhelmed. And this is where many people give up. I mean, if the House can’t get the votes to repeal and replace Obamacare the first time out then it should be the law of the land forever. Right? NO!

When obstacles and fears present themselves, take them one at a time and deal with them. My client looked at house after house after house and was increasingly desolate that she would never find one. I told her to keep it up. And she did!

Until, you guessed it, she found an apartment. The apartment of her dreams.

She never gave up and she got exactly what she wanted.

So there you go – my latest: 5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want.

You have a dream. I know you do. And you can get it. Exactly as you want it.   You just need to know what it is, see how to get there, slay obstacles one by one and never give up.

Really, how hard is that? YOU can totally do it. My client did.

And yes, she is living happily ever after…..


 

Looking for more ways to get exactly what you want.?

Reach out to me for a free “Let Your Dreams Begin” session and we can make it happen!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways To Stay Yourself in a New Relationship – Even if You Feel Like an Insecure Mess

Isn’t it wonderful, a new relationship? Getting to know that new special someone, looking across the room at them and getting butterflies in your tummy. Hours spent sharing your hopes and dreams for the future. Holding hands. Romance. Great sex. Rampant insecurity.

Wait. What?

When we first get into a new relationship we feel very confident because having someone new in our lives is a very heady experience. And yet, as we become attached to someone, feelings of insecurity can arise because with attachment comes the fear of loss. And the way we act because of that fear of loss can hijack many a new love affair.

Who wants that? Surely not you!

Here is my latest: 5 Ways To Stay Yourself in a New Relationship – Even if You Feel Like an Insecure Mess.

#1 – Remember that you are AWESOME.

Think about the person you are when you are single. When you aren’t questioning your self-worth because of some guy. Who is that person?

Do you have a job that you love and that you are good at? Do you run marathons? Do you have a few great friends who you love to spend time with? Do you like to go to movies and try new food? Do you have a dog that thinks you are God’s gift to the world?

This person is the person you want to remember when you are feeling insecure. This awesome person who your guy chose to date in the first place.

And remember you are so awesome that more than just one guy out there wants to date you. So if this one doesn’t appreciate you, too bad for him.

#2 – Live your life.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT sit around and wait for any man to call. Or any woman for that matter either. Time spent sitting around waiting for your life to start is time wasted.

You have a life to live, so live it. Do your work and do it well. Go to yoga, eat out with friends, walk your dog. Do all of the things that make you feel good about yourself and do them often.

Not only will you feel good about yourself from doing the things that you love but when your guy reaches out to see you you will be busy and that will make him wonder why you aren’t busy with him!!!!

And making him wonder is always good.

#3 – Unplug.

One of the things that you should NOT do to keep yourself busy is spend time on social media.

Even on a good day social media can lead us down the road to despair. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO), the fear that the rest of the world is going on around you as you just sit there, on your phone, is a real thing in this modern day. Time spent watching how other people are living instead of living yourself is always time wasted.

Furthermore, spending any time AT ALL stalking your suitor will only lead you to trouble, especially if you can’t find him or see him doing something with someone you don’t want him doing things with. Innocently or no. It will hurt.

So again, go live your life. Don’t sit around and see what someone else’s life looks like.

#4 – Know you probably aren’t the only one feeling this way.

The more attached we are to something, whether it be a man or a friend or a coat, the more we fear losing it. And fear of losing something can cause us to act in ways that might seem foreign. That super self-confident woman you usually are might get replaced with the shy 8th grader you used to be. Not ideal.

But do know that while you may be feeling insecure at the prospect of losing this new person in your life, they might very well be feeling the same way too. They might feel like if they text you they could appear too eager or if they stop by your desk you might find them too needy.

Does that sound kind of familiar? Kind of like how you are feeling? How does it make you feel knowing that they might be feeling the same way too?

Kinda relieved, perhaps? Less insecure? Good.

#5 – Ask yourself “What’s the worst that can happen?”

This is a question that can be applied to a variety of life situations but it’s best application is right here.

You are in a new relationship, one that is days or weeks old. One that you have lived your entire life up until recently without.

Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?”

The answer? That you will lose this relationship. So? There are more fish in the sea. That you will embarrass yourself? You have done that before and survived. That you will actually have a great conversation and maybe another date? Well, that wouldn’t suck.

Keep in mind that the worst that can happen isn’t that you will drop dead if you send a text or that you will end world peace if you ask him to dance. And, with that in mind, take a step confidently in his direction. Being the rock star that you are.

Because really, what’s the worst that can happen?

So there you go – 5 Ways To Stay Yourself in a New Relationship.

We all want to love and be loved. This we all know to be true (although sometimes we are loathe to admit it). And in the pursuit of love we often find ourselves losing ourselves in our attempt to please others.

But don’t let yourself go. Remind yourself every day how amazing you are, that anyone would be lucky to have you, that if this relationship doesn’t work out there will be another (because there will be), and that the world won’t end no matter what action you take.

Be the person that someone wants to fall in love with. Be the person who you can be in love with too.


 

Looking for more ways to nurture new relationships?

Contact me NOW and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach Their Dreams – Even if They Seem Unreachable

Remember when you were little and you had big dreams for when you were finally a grown up?

I wanted to be an astronaut. Or a ballerina. Unfortunately my hopes of being either of those things fell by the wayside when I failed earth science and grew a foot.

After college I thought maybe I wanted to write and to help people but my goals were vague so instead I went into the hospitality business and then into retail sales and then became a mom. Before I knew it I was 40 and a working mom and my dreams had disappeared under a load of laundry.

Now, 12 years later, I am living the life of my dreams. I write articles and blogs and coach women towards reaching their dreams. I have learned a lot along the way and this I want to share with you today.

Here are 5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach their Dreams – Even if They Seem Unreachable.

#1 – Be clear about what is important to you.

I can’t say this enough. If you don’t know what is important to you then you can’t make it a priority. Instead your life will consist of day after day just doing the things that you need to do to get by.

Do this. Mark out 1 hour on your calendar this week, one hour to sit down with a cup of tea and write down everything that you can think of that is important to you. Write down the things that you do and things that you don’t. Set your list aside and go take a walk.

A few days later revisit your list. Did you forget anything? Is there anything on there that maybe shouldn’t be?

Next, circle the top 10 most important things on your list. From that list circle the top 7 most important things, and then from that list circle the top 5 most important things. From your top 5 list circle the top 3 most important things.

You now have the top 3 things that are most important to you. See that wasn’t so hard.

From there you choose the #1 thing that is most important to you and now you have a starting point.

#2 – Create a plan to make that #1 thing happen and make it a priority.

This is an important thing to do. Many of us get overwhelmed at the prospect of actually reaching our goal. If it’s to run 10 miles, three miles per week and we are running nothing now then making the jump from 0-10 miles seems undoable. So we don’t and we give up.

Instead we need to recognize that to reach our goal we have to take it one step at a time. And one step at a time is easy.

The first step is about getting moving. Schedule three days a week to get outside and walk. Just for 15 minutes. Something to get your body used to the movement.

Put it on your calendar. In RED ink so that you can’t ignore it.

After the first week increase your time to 20 minutes, three times per week.

After the second week you could walk for 10 minutes and run for 10 minutes, three times per week.

After the third week you can run for the full 20 minutes, three times a week.

Gradually you can increase your time and distance until you reach your goal of 10 miles, three times a week.

One step at a time.

#3 – Surround yourself with a supportive and loving community.

Your community can be made up of family, friends, co-workers, gym mates. Whoever can support you and hold you accountable. This is key to success. We all have good intentions but without support and accountability it’s hard to stay on the path to reaching our dreams.

The best kind of support you can get? A life coach who will encourage you and hold you accountable. Just sayin’.

#4 – Do NOT doubt yourself.

This is the most self-sabotaging thing that we do. We listen to the voice in our head that tells us that we can’t do something. That we don’t have the time or that we aren’t good enough or that we don’t deserve something.

This is, may I say, complete bullshit. You are an amazing person, someone who gives and gives and you should have the life of your dreams. And if you are happy, everyone around you will be happy!

Believe that you are capable of reaching your goals. One step at a time. I believe in you.

#5 – Take care of yourself and try to have a little fun.

Yes, our lives are crazy but it is essential that every women take a little time for herself. Take a bath, go for a walk, go shopping with a friend, climb a mountain, learn to surf, take a road trip. Do something every day that feeds your soul. Take at least 1 day a month to do something that will make you happy.

And at least once a year get away, alone, to get to know yourself again.

So there you are…5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach Their Dreams.

Remember, it’s never too late to live the life that you want. You just need to decide what that life is and then take that first step. The rest you can do, easy.

Just look at all that you do now. Only Superwoman can do what you do every day. Your dreams will be a cinch…


 

Want more ideas for getting you started on the path to the life of your dreams?

Contact me NOW and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Get Things Done – Even if There Aren’t Enough Hours in the Day

There just aren’t enough hours in the day, are there? There are school lunches to be made and buses to be caught and meetings to attend and dogs to be walked and homework to be done and mothers to be called and TV shows to catch up on. The list is endless and impossible to manage.

Or is it?

Believe it or not there are ways to get on top of your to-do list.

Here are my 5 Ways to Get Things Done – Even if There Aren’t Enough Hours in the Day.

#1 – Use a notebook.

A spiral bound notebook. A notebook that makes you happy to look at and that you don’t want to lose. This is the key to being productive. Every organized person you know has one.

It is in this notebook that you keep your running to-do list. When something new comes up you add it to your list. The to-do list in your notebook.

You do not keep your to-do list on a piece of paper that gets lost between the car seats or gets eaten by the dog. Your to-do list is in a notebook that you can’t throw away and you refuse to lose track of.

And then, when you get something done, you get to cross that thing off of your to-do list. And I am not sure if there is anything better than crossing something off of your to-do list.

Seriously.

#2 – Set priorities.

Every morning take 10 minutes to review your to-do list and to set priorities. You can do this by starring or highlighting the things on your list that you need to get done that day.

Many of us do first the things on our list that we don’t mind doing and don’t do the things that need to be done.

One of my clients HATED making phones calls to set up appointments. As a result she never did set them up and her dishwasher didn’t get fixed and her son missed his doctor’s appointment and her daughter’s permission slip didn’t get signed. This was not good

Once she started setting her priorities my client 1) didn’t have to make all of her phones calls at the same time but made them when they needed to be made (which made them less daunting) and 2) things that usually fell through the cracks (and made more work for her) no longer fell through the cracks.

#3 – Say No!

This is key. It is very, very hard for us to say no. We don’t want to say no for a variety of reasons, whether it’s because we want to do something or we feel like we should do something or we think we need to do something. So, before you say yes, take a good hard look at why you are saying yes.

One of my clients always said yes, no matter what was asked of her. She liked to keep busy and didn’t want to let anyone down. But of course she ended up letting everyone down because she couldn’t be as effective at all of her tasks as she might have been. Once she started looking at why she was saying yes, and why she wasn’t saying no, she was able to pick and choose what she said yes to. Once she did that she was able to manage her time more effectively and successfully complete each task.

#4 – If it takes less than 10 minutes just DO IT.

Next time you have a few minutes, while you are waiting for the bus to arrive, or for a phone call to come in or while the kids are watching TV, take a look at your list. Is there anything on it that you can get done in 10 minutes or less? If there is, DO IT! It’s those little things that are daunting and tend to add up.   And, again, let me tell you, from personal experience, there is nothing more mood-enhancing then crossing something off of your list.

#5 – Check your computer only 3 times a day.

Yes, I know. This is the hard one. We are all totally addicted to our screens. Totally. And I am sure you are familiar with the phenomenon known as “screen sucking.” This is when your computer/phone/tablet screen sucks up all of your time before you even know it. A great way to add time to your day is to stay away from your screen.

I have a client who used to check her phone every moment she got, at the expense of everyone and everything around her. At my suggestion, for one week she checked it just three times a day: once in the morning, once at mid-day and once after dinner. It was painful in the beginning, she reported, but by the end of the week the amount of time she had to be productive had dramatically increased. So try it. For one week. See what happens.

So there you go: my 5 Ways to Get Things Done.

There are 24 hours in our day and everyone should sleep for 8 of those hours. That leaves you 16 hours a day to use wisely. Part of using them wisely is to do things that feed your soul but also use those hours to be productive. Staying on top of things will go a long way towards making your life a happier place.

So use my tips. Get some things done. If you do your life will be simpler, you will be happier and those around you will thrive. And that is the goal, yes?


 

Work smarter – not harder! Need more ideas for doing so?

Contact me NOW and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!