5 Things I WISH My Parents Had Told Me – Even Though I Know They Did Their Best

One thing I know more than anything else is how hard it is to be a parent. We are thrown into the job with no training and it’s a total crap-shoot as to how successful we will be.

I know that back in 1965 when they had me, my parents had nothing but good intentions. I also know that they were young and inexperienced and didn’t necessarily have the best role models in their own parents.

All that being said, there are definitely some things I wish that they had told me, things that I would not have had to figure out on my own.

Here is my latest – 5 Things I WISH My Parents Had Told Me – Even Though I Know They did Their Best.

#1 – Marriage is complicated.

So here is the thing. I knew from observation that my parents’ marriage was challenged. I knew that my mom put my dad firmly behind the kids and the dogs on her priority list, that she snapped at him easily and that he retreated into his office soon after we had dinner.

What I didn’t know was WHY all of this happened. I went into my own marriage with the knowledge of how my parents treated each other but I had no idea how, in the context of marriage, to prevent it from happening.

Before I knew it my husband was firmly behind the kids and the dogs on my priority list, I treated him terribly and he retreated into his office nightly. And, like my parents, we ended up divorced.

I wish my parents had sat me down before I got married and really talked about their experiences in their marriage. What they would have done differently, what they have learned in the ensuing years. I have already talked to my 20 years olds about what happened in my failed marriage, not placing blame but talking about circumstances and being human.

#2- Fidelity is important.

Fidelity was not a theme that played out in my parents’ marriage. It was the 70s and women had just entered the work force and at-work relationships were becoming more and more the norm. And it wasn’t just my dad who strayed….my mom fell back in love with a man she knew before she was married.

So the model for me when I was in my teens, in those super important years where we learn, from the example our parents set, about how love and relationships work, was two parents who weren’t committed to each other. And two parents who were lying to each other and to us about this very important thing.

I have to admit that, perhaps because of this example, fidelity has not been something that I have always practiced in relationships. I know that it has played a great part in why I have had so many failed ones. I just haven’t been able to commit to anyone in a way that makes for fulfilling, long lasting love.  I am learning but it would have been a huge gift to know how to do so a long time ago.

#3 – Mental illness runs in the family.

I spent a substantial part of my life depressed. I lived with a constant sense of hopeless and despair. I hated every part of my life and didn’t understand why anyone would want to live. I didn’t know that I was different from everyone else…I thought that everyone hated living as much as I did.

My mother used to come up to my room and yell at me because I didn’t ever want to leave it. She accused me of being rude and lazy and selfish.  She would berate me for being shy at social functions and for sleeping so much. It was not fun to be me.

When I was 42 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. When I called my mother to tell her she said Oh, your grandfather and your great grandfather both had Bipolar disorder. Seriously?

What a gift it would have been all those 42 years if I had had a name for how I was suffering. Perhaps I could have been treated and my life might not have been the hell that it was for so many years. But mental illness was not something that was talked about back then. I so wish it had been.

Do you want to talk about things your parents didn’t say? I will listen!

#4 – Don’t have sex with someone just because they want to.

I don’t ever remember having the love/sex conversation with my mom. I am guessing we had it but perhaps not. What I do know is that she never told me that I needed to enter into the world of boys and sex with caution.

When boys discovered me I was young, naïve and starved for love. My dad had recently moved far away with his new wife. I was lost and confused and lonely. And then boys appeared.

There is nothing like a teenage boy to make a teenage girl’s head spin. One was so charming and attentive and full of compliments. I took his attention in like a starving refugee. And when he wanted something from me in return for his attention I was happy to oblige. He really, really liked me, after all, so why not let him do what he wanted.

My relationship with this boy was over soon after and I was left adrift, lonelier than before. A teacher took me under her wing and explained to me that what I had was precious and that I had to treat it that way. That I had to have respect for myself and not let anyone take anything away from me unless I wanted to give it. I was confused at first but her I soon understood and going forward I was careful to not let any boy get the best of me.

#5 – It’s all about forgiveness.

My mother was the queen of holding a grudge.  She loved people madly but if they crossed her she was done with them. The list of people who “aren’t invited to my funeral” was quite a long one. My dad was on it. And my ex-husband. She would never get over the wrongs that either one of them had done to her and to those she loved.

This example did not serve us kids well. We learned to judge people for their actions and to not look at them with compassion and understanding of their humanness. As a result we lost friends and lovers in our belief that we were always right and that those who had hurt us should be cast out.

It is really only now, in the aftermath of being left by my husband and the ensuing messiness, that I have learned to understand that we are all doing the best that we can and that to forgive is the best way to be able to move on in a healthy way.

My mother died of pancreatic cancer at 72. I truly believe that at least some of her tumor was the result of hanging onto so much anger and resentment for so long. Not letting go of bad feelings is unhealthy not only for our minds but for our bodies.  If we can release them they will not fester and cause damage.

So there you go – my 5 Things I WISH My Parents Had Told Me.

Our parents really do the best that they can with what they are given. No one gives us a manual about how to parent as we leave the hospital with our newborn. All we know is what we already know. And we do the best we can with that knowledge.

What I do know is my parents loved me and took care of me and made me, at least in part, into the person that I am today. And for that I am thankful.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

3 Reasons He Won’t Do What You Ask – Even If He Wants To

I have a client who is in a new relationship. She loves her man but has some very real hesitations. The most notable one is that she feels like he doesn’t make her a priority. She feels taken for granted and certainly not cherished. She has told him that she feels this way, hoping for change. And, in spite of his assertions that he loves her, it just doesn’t happen.

Why, you wonder, can’t her boyfriend, who loves her, change his behavior? Because of a very frustrating, but very real, thing known as resistance.

Resistance is a trait found in all of us…a trait that makes us hesitant to do anything that might bring about change. Even if it’s for the better.

Resistance makes us want to put the brakes on and never release them.

Resistance is something we often aren’t even aware of but it affects almost every decision we make.

Resistance can end great things before they even start.

Here is my latest..3 Reasons He Won’t Do What You Ask – Even If He Wants To.

#1 – Fear of Change

Resistance is based on the fear of change. And people are really, really afraid of change.

When faced with the idea of change most people’s reactions are “Things are just fine this way. Why would I want to do anything differently?”

Resistance to change in love can have a devastating effect. There are two people in a relationship and two peoples whose needs need to be met. When one person asks for something different the other person needs to consider if they are willing to adapt to keep the relationship moving forward.

And that is the key. Adaptation. If one person needs something different then a conversation needs to be had.

My client expressed her needs very clearly. She knew that he heard what she said and he even said that he would try to put her first. But he didn’t. Or couldn’t. And it hurt her.

The best way to overcome fear of change is communication. Talk to each other. Compromise. Make each other a priority.

#2 – Fear of Ability

The second piece of resistance is one’s fear of the ability to do what someone asks. Does the person being asked fear that they will not be able to do what is being asked of them?

That can be paralyzing.

Perhaps my client’s beau didn’t know if he was capable of making her a priority. Perhaps he knew that his bike and the kids would always come first. But he knew if he expressed that he might lose her. So instead of explaining that fear he kept quiet.

The result? She was devastated by his continued actions and I am sure he didn’t feel very good about it either.

The best way to overcome fear of ability is communication. If he had been able to express his anxiety perhaps they could have worked together to find a solution.

#3 – Fear of Outcome

The last piece of resistance is the fear of outcome.

So many of the reasons that people don’t take action is that they are scared of how it will all turn out. They know, to a certain extent, how things will turn out if they stay on the current path but have no idea what will happen if they change course.

For my client’s boyfriend he knew that the way he had acted so far had resulted in his winning this amazing girl and still being able to excel on his bike and support his kids in a loving and productive way.

What would happen if he started putting her first? Would his bike and his kids suffer? He didn’t want them to suffer but he also didn’t want to lose her. Maybe they wouldn’t suffer but was it worth the risk?

He was afraid. So he chose his bike and his children, hoping that she would understand. He didn’t talk to her about his decision and as a result he hurt her more.

The best way to overcome the fear of outcome is communication. She needed to know how he was feeling. They could have talked it through. She might have understood.

So there you go – my 3 Reasons He Won’t Do What You Ask.

It is important to know that while resistance can play a destructive role in relationships it is not, most likely, a reflection of the emotions that the resistor feels for his loved one.

He most likely loves her madly but is unwilling, or unable, to face and overcome his resistance. So it is up to her. Is she willing to live not being a priority? How important is it to her? Can she be in this relationship knowing he loves her and have that be enough?

For my client that wasn’t enough. She expressed her needs and he continued to resist and she walked away. She knew she wanted to be cherished and set out finding someone who could do so.

Do you have a man paralyzed by resistance? Contact me and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Top Secrets The Happiest Couples Already Know – Even If They Don’t Think They Do

You know those friends of yours who always look so happy together? The ones who you know not only look happy but who are happy? Together. Don’t you sometimes just hate them?

What do they know that you don’t know? That is always the question, whispered among those who wish they too could be so happy.

Here is the answer.

My latest – 5 Top Secrets The Happiest Couples Already Know – Even If They Don’t Think They Do.

#1 – Sex, Sex, Sex, Sex.

So let’s just start with the obvious one.

Every happily married couple has a sex life that suits them. There is no exact formula for how much sex a couple must have to be happy. Instead, each couple needs to decide what is best for them, to talk about it and play around and meet each other’s sexual needs in a way that makes everyone excited.

I have a client whose husband wants to have sex EVERY night and, while she really likes having sex with him, every night just doesn’t work for her. She used to just rebuff his advances, which made him feel badly, but on my advice she talked to him about it. She explained how she felt, they agreed that she would be the instigator and that she would instigate often. That worked for both of them and they were happy.

So tick this one off of your list. Talk to your partner about your sex life and make a plan to make it work well for both of you.

Sounds fun, right?

#2 – Equitable division of labor.

I have known many, many married couples. I have known many, many divorced couples. What is the differentiating factor that exists between the two? Equality in execution of chores.

My 15 year old daughter did a survey for school once. Who were the happiest parents among her friend group? She discovered that those who shared the household chores, particularly the meal planning, were the happiest.

Why? Because chores are a HUGE bone of contention for many couples. HUGE.

What usually happens is is that the person “in charge” delegates the chores to their spouse. The “in charge” person has expectations about the execution of the chore and if it’s not done within the expected time, or in the expected way, tensions flair. The delegator takes it personally and lashes out and the executor is left bewildered because they had no idea what the expectations were.

If both people are responsible for the delegation, and execution, of the chores then a huge issue just disappears. Things get done, or don’t, and both partners are responsible.

So, my daughter reported, my ex-husband’s and my decision to divide and conquer (he would work and I would run the house) was the deciding factor in the failure of our marriage. My sister in law and her husband, who equally shared home responsibilities, are living happily ever after.

I wish she had done this research earlier…

#3 – Inside jokes.

What really? How can that be? That is such a little thing.

Happy couples are like a little islands unto themselves. Sure, they have families and friends and jobs and responsibilities but they also have things that they only share with each other. Inside jokes.

Imagine this. You and your spouse are at a family BBQ. Tensions are flying over something. Politics, perhaps. And then your father in law says something, something that he ALWAYS says and that you and your spouse have whispered about in bed at night. You meet eyes as the statement is made and you just connect. You smile and nod and go on with the day with a warm feeling in your tummy.

Connection is what real love is about. And having a secret is super fun. So having an inside joke, a combination of the two, can’t be beat for keeping couples close.

#4 – Pie in the sky hopes and dreams.

Happy couples are couples who not only dream big but dream big together.

Remember when you were young and falling in love? Hours would be spent talking about the future – the jobs, the house, the kids, the happily ever after. And then life happens. Day to day living gets in the way of those dreams.

But not for happy couples. Happy couples still dream together. It might be little things, like dreaming of a movie date on Friday, but they dream together and work as a team to get it done.

So dream big. Or small. But dream together.

#5 – Putting each other first. Period.

Yes, yes, I know. There are so many important things in our lives these days. Making money is one of the first that comes to mind. Making sure our children grow into successful adults is another. And then there is exercise. And friends. And hobbies. And your phone.

And all of these are important. But one thing that you realize, when you no longer have a partner, is that none of these things really matter because you, well, you don’t have a partner.

So make your partner your priority. Every day.

Work is important but so is getting home for date night. That Saturday morning 15 mile run? Go for it but if you could instead spend the morning alone with your spouse, consider it. A movie night with the girls? Bring your husband instead. Movie negotiable. The phone? Put it down.

Consider all the good that could come from making your spouse a priority. Connection, laughter, physical affection, good will, sex, happiness. Arguably more life enhancing than the money and the muscles and the children with a perfect score on their SAT.

So there you go – my 5 Top Secrets The Happiest Couples Already Know.

Being part of happy couple isn’t something that just happens. It, like all of the best things in life, takes concerted effort.

That effort at work pays off with a raise. That effort at the gym pays off with muscles. Why not make that effort with your partner and be one of those truly happy couples?

So go home, look your spouse in the eye and kiss them hard, throw your dirty clothes in the hamper, laugh about the co-worker you love to hate, talk about a trip away together next month, make love and fall asleep happy.

It will all be totally worth it. I promise.

Looking for more ways to be the happiest couple around? Contact me NOW and I can help.

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Questions You MUST Ask Someone On A First Date – Even If You Don’t Really Want To

We all go into our first dates hoping for the best. Hoping that this will be the ONE who will end our lonely days forever. And with that hope comes a reluctance to ask questions.

Why? Because we often don’t want to know the answers.

It’s important to know a few basic facts about someone before you commit to spending more time developing a relationship. Without knowing the facts you could miss some serious red flags and waste a HUGE amount of time in your search for the ONE.

And we don’t want that.

Here is my latest: 5 Questions You MUST Ask Someone On A First Date – Even If You Don’t Really Want To.

#1 – Are you Married?

Seriously? You need to ask that question? The answer is a resounding YES!

You would be amazed at how many married people out there want to date other people. Some of them are in open marriages and some of them just want to fool around. Either way you want to know the answer.

If the answer is yes, you need to decide if you want to be involved with a married person. Being involved with a married person brings with it a multitude of issues, most notably making it very difficult for you to find the ONE.

And that is the goal right? Finding the ONE?

#2 – How long have you been single?

Once you know they are single it’s important to know how long they have been single.

As a general rule of thumb, we experts recommend that you not date someone who has been divorced within the last two years. Divorce wreaks havoc that regular break ups do not and the recovery period is longer. A newly divorced person just won’t be ready for you, in spite of what they might think.

If your potential partner has just gone through a non-marriage break up that could also be a red flag. Someone who is newly out of a relationship could be, consciously or unconsciously, looking for a rebound relationship.  You do NOT want to be the rebound person.

Ideally, your prospective mate would be someone who has been single for a period of time, not just because they have had time to recover from a break up but because it’s more likely that they are no longer attached to the person they broke up with.

Nobody wants to date someone who is still holding a torch for someone else, do they?

#3 – Are you employed?

One of the first questions we ask when we meet anyone is “What do you do?” It’s what Americans do. And it can be a tough question to answer, especially in this day and age when people do a variety of things at once.

A more important question is “Are you currently working?”

The reasons you want to know the answer to this question? Because you want to know if they are financially and emotionally secure.

Financial security is obvious.  No one wants to get involved with someone who can’t carry his or her weight financially. The emotional security is a tougher one.

People who are unemployed are often in a delicate position emotionally. They could be actively seeking work and unable to find any. They could be thinking that the work out there is below them and refuse to compromise. They could have had issues at an old job that continue on into new jobs. All of these situations could lead to insecurity and low self esteem.

Insecurity and low self esteem are not things that lend themselves well to a healthy relationship.  And DON’T think that you can fix them because you can’t.

So ask not only “What do you do” but “Where do you do it?”

Want to talk first dates? Me too! Let’s do it….

#4 – Do you get along with your family?

Really? Knowing how someone gets along with his or her family is important?

The family is the fundamental relationship of someone’s life and how they interact with that family is important to know.

If your date talks about the close relationship he has with his siblings and that his mother drives him nuts but that he talks to her every Sunday then you know that this person is capable of a healthy emotional connection.

If your date talks about the family that lives across the country who he hasn’t seen in years then it is possible the deep emotional connection might be more difficult for him. Why? Because the basic human connection that we make as children influences who we are as grown ups. And someone who has a rough relationship with his family could be tough to truly connect with.

So ask the question and listen carefully to the answer.

#5 – Do you have kids?

This one is SO important because kids change everything.

Kids can, more than any other single thing, affect a relationship because kids are, more often than not, THE priority. They will be made the priority above you every single time. Every single time.

And maybe that’s okay with you.  Maybe you have kids too and understand the priorities. Or maybe you are willing to make his kids your priority as well.

But maybe it’s not. Maybe you want to always be first or maybe you just aren’t ready to have kids. And that’s okay.

So ask the question. Because kids will always come first, no matter what you might tell yourself going in.

So there you go, my 5 Questions You MUST Ask Someone On A First Date.

Dating is time consuming and emotionally fraught and really you don’t want to waste even one minute on someone who raises any red flags at all. Red flags should be noted and acted on.

So ask the questions. Get your answers early. Get your answers so you can decide to fish or cut bait right away. Because there are other fish in the sea. Fish who might be better for you. And tastier.


 

Looking for more questions to ask on a first date?

Contact me NOW and I can help!


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

3 Sentences In An Apology That Will Work – Even If You Feel Like You Have Tried Everything

You have done something to hurt someone. Intentionally or unintentionally. Either way, that person is really hurt. And you want to fix it. But how?

You have been trying to apologize, to make them see things from your perspective, to get them to understand your intentions. All to no avail.

Hope is not lost. There is a way to apologize that will be both heard and accepted. Read on to learn how.

Here is my latest – 3 Sentences In An Apology That Will Work – Even If You Feel Like You Have Tried Everything.

Before we begin you have to understand WHAT you have to apologize for.

You did something that caused someone pain. And THAT is what you have to apologize for. Causing that person pain. Not for what you did to cause the pain.

I have a client whose husband showed up 30 minutes late on a night where he swore he would be home on time. They were supposed to go out for her birthday and she had made special dinner reservations. He had tried to get home but got caught up in a work crisis.

Should he need to apologize? I mean, he was late because of work. He had no control over that.

Of course he needs to apologize! Why? Not because he was kept late at work but because he HURT HER by not getting home when he said that he would.

Do you see the difference? The slight is that he caused her pain. Whatever he did to cause that pain is irrelevant.

That is what you are apologizing for: causing them pain.

Get it?

Sentence #1 – “I am sorry that I hurt you.”

This is the perfect first line of any apology. You are acknowledging that you have caused someone pain. They know that you know that you hurt them and by stating it clearly you can, and will, immediately deflate your loved one’s anger.

The most important part of this sentence is that it ends after the YOU and that it doesn’t continue on with a BUT. An explanation of why you were late, and why you weren’t at fault, will completely invalidate the first part of the sentence. Completely.

Again, what you are apologizing for is that you hurt someone.  How you did so is irrelevant in this first part of the apology.

So accept it and apologize for the hurt you have caused.

#2 – “How can I prevent it from happening again?”

This second sentence is very important because it allows the person you hurt to take some ownership for how to prevent it from happening again.

In the case of my client, after she calmed down when she realized that her husband knew how much he had hurt her, she thought about what could be done differently in the future to prevent him from causing her pain. She suggested that next time he knew he was going to be late he call her so that she could change their reservations. She would also know that he knew he was late and that he was sensitive to the situation which could help her from getting hurt.

Armed with this knowledge my client’s husband had the tools he needed to stop himself from hurting his wife in the future when he was going to be late. It was up to him know when to use those tools and to do so.

#3 – “What can I do to make it up to you?”

This one is a fun one. Amends.

So my client’s husband had acknowledged that he had hurt her and did not tried to justify his behavior. Now he wanted to know what he could do to make it up to her….

Once again, my client, the hurt party, was in a position of control. Not a dominating sort of control but in control of how the outcome of the situation could play out. By being in this kind of control my client was given the opportunity to express what she needed to move past this hurt. Her husband didn’t have to guess, which is good because husbands aren’t always good at guessing.

My client suggested a bottle of very nice champagne at home with some birthday cake. The kids were off at a friend’s house and having some alone time just the two of them is what she wanted most anyway.

He was, of course, happy to accommodate and the night ended very well indeed.

So there you are, 3 Sentences In An Apology That Will Work.

Again, the key to the perfect apology is recognizing that you are apologizing for the hurt that you caused and not the behavior that caused it. You hurt someone and that is what you need to apologize for, no matter how much you believe that it couldn’t have been avoided or that you weren’t at fault.

So go ahead. Apologize. Mean it. Move forward together in a meaningful way.

It just might change your life. Try it. You will see.


 

Looking for help with making a good apology?

Contact me now and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Get to Forgiveness – Even If It Seems Out of Reach

Did somebody do something to you that you simply can’t forgive?

Perhaps your sister embarrassed you AGAIN at a family gathering with something she said. Perhaps your husband chose your mother-in-law’s side in a discussion about where to spend Easter. Or a good friend forgot to invite you to her Cabi party.

And are you so angry, so hurt, that you just can’t get past it?

I am here to tell you that you can.

Holding a grudge is one of the worst things that you can do for your health. So don’t!

Here is my latest: 5 Ways to Get to Forgiveness – Even If It Seems Out of Reach

#1 – Recognize that everyone is human.

Everyone is doing the best that they can. Let me say that again. Everyone is doing the best that they can.

The person who you are today, right now, is the result of a lifetime of experiences, experiences that include how your mother loved you when you were a child and the way that taxi driver splashed you with a muddy puddle this morning.

It is a combination of those things that determine how you react to something the way you do. The same rules apply to other people.

You know that co-worker who is rude to you every morning when you come into the office? Who doesn’t greet you with a smile and small-talk. Do you resent that person, think perhaps she is a bitch? Do you spend way too much time thinking about it during meetings?

That co-worker is just a person, doing the best that she can, and you have no idea what she is dealing with. Perhaps she has an autistic child who needs to be dropped off at daycare in the morning and the process is devastating every time. Might that person not be able to greet you with a happy smile in the morning? Might that person be more in need of some compassion from you?

Don’t assume anything about anyone. We are all just doing the best that we can. We are human, after all.

#2 – Don’t take everything personally.

It is not all about you. Again, it is not all about you.

“What’s this?” you think. “Of course it’s all about me.”

When someone hurts you I can guarantee that they almost never set out to hurt you. What they do might be insensitive but more often than not hurting you is not the reason why someone does something.

When your husband sides with your mother-in-law about Easter Sunday he is not doing it to purposely hurt you. He is doing it because he wants to please his mother or even perhaps because he genuinely believes her plan is the better one.

He does not do it because he has no respect for your opinions, because he does and he demonstrated this last week when he applauded your actions around a problem at work.

He did it for his own reasons, ones that have nothing to do with you.

Not taking everything as a personal affront is an excellent way to take steps towards forgiveness. Know that people do things for a variety of reasons and hurting you is rarely one of them.

#3 – Look to the future, not the past.

Do you want your present and your future to be based on the past? Or do you want your future to be bright and full of possibilities?

If yes, stop looking to the past and look forward with an open heart.

I have a client whose husband left her a LONG time ago and she still can’t get past it. Everything that is wrong in her life she blames on his leaving her. Everything.

In an effort to help her forgive her husband and move on, we have been working on her building a life for herself. She has found a great job and is under contract in a wonderful apartment. She is dating again and spending lots of time with her grandchildren. For the first time in years she is happy.

The more that she focuses on her present and her future the less time she spends obsessing about the past and all of her perceived losses. Because that’s what her losses are, perceived. She has no idea how her life might have been if her husband had stayed with her. What she does know is how amazing her life is now.

And that is what counts.

#4 – Take responsibility.

This is a hard one – to take responsibility for our role in a perceived hurt. But it’s a very important one.

We all play a role in every interaction we have. And, like it or not, our role is as relevant to outcome as the other person’s.

In the case of my client who was irate for not being invited to her friend’s Cabi party, I asked her to take a good look at why she thought she might not have been invited.

At first she said that she had no idea, that her friend was just a loser. But then, after some reflection, she realized that she hadn’t really enjoyed the last Cabi party and that she might have expressed those feelings to a few of their friends.

Perhaps her friend hadn’t invited her for just that reason? Not because she was a loser and wanted to hurt her friend but maybe because she knew her friend didn’t enjoy the parties and wanted her not to feel compelled to attend?

Hm, that changes things a bit doesn’t it?

#5 – Be honest and let it go.

You know when you stay up all night, playing and replaying something that your sister said to you on the phone? How it was just like something that she has said to you your entire lives? How it drives you crazy every time?

Have you ever told her that it drives you crazy every time? Perhaps now is the time.

Being honest with someone about something they are doing that hurts you is important. And it’s important to do so in an honest, non passive-aggressive way.

It’s entirely possible that your sister doesn’t know how she repeatedly upsets you. If you tell her you are giving her an opportunity to change, or explain, her behavior. And if you understand the reasons behind her behaviors you can accept them and let them go.

Because who wants to stay up all night perseverating about their sister’s words and actions? Sleep is a precious thing that shouldn’t be squandered needlessly.

So let it go. Get some sleep. Be happy.

So there you go, my 5 Ways to Get to Forgiveness.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” So said Alexander Pope in the early 1700s. He knew even back then the virtue found in forgiveness. He knew that we were all doing the best that we can and to forgive is to find God.

So practice forgiveness. Cut those who upset you some slack, accept responsibility for your share of the blame, let go of the past and make yourself a bright future.

Because that’s what we want. No matter how dark our past we want our future to be bright. And with forgiveness it can be.


 

Looking for other ways to get to forgiveness?

Contact me now and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So

I have a client who was gifted 3 life-coaching sessions by her sister. While she truly appreciated the gift, she was rather insulted that her sister thought that she needed a life coach.  She wasn’t really happy, she thought, but she was fine.

One month later, though, is she happy that she found me. She says that she was very skeptical coming into working with me because she had been seeing therapists for years, to no avail, and then, in 3 short weeks, her life was on a completely different track.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So.

#1 – I provided insight.

During our first session my client told me about how miserable she was. She was unhappy in her job, her marriage was floundering, she wasn’t able to exercise because of an injury and she was drinking too much. She felt hopeless.

She also told me that she had just weaned herself off of her anti-depressant. That she had reduced her dose for 3 months and she was on her second week of no meds at all.

I put two and two together and asked when her overwhelming feelings of hopelessness had started. She said about 2 months earlier. “So just about when you started weaning off your meds?” I asked. She thought about it and agreed with me.

I suggested that she ask her doctor about going back on her meds, perhaps at a lower dosage, to see if it made any difference with her negative feelings. And guess what? She did and it did.

Without me there to listen and point things out objectively, with no agenda, like a relative might have, she might not have seen that her lack of meds was affecting her so. Nor, without the meds, would she have been able to start the other hard work that we began next.

#2 – I held her accountable. Big time.

During one of our sessions we started to talk about her drinking. She was on a cleanse and when she was done she was determined that she wouldn’t go back to her regular drinking habits. She recognized that she probably had a drinking problem but wanted to try to control it on her own.

We then talked about her calling her primary care doctor to get the name of an alcohol counselor. “Just get a name,” I told her.  It would be a first step towards stopping her drinking, something that I knew was important to her because she didn’t want it to affect her kids.

One week later I checked in. She responded that she was great and that she hadn’t contacted a counselor and could she put off our appointment for two weeks so she could get some things done?

I told her no. That I wanted to talk with her on Monday, even if just for a few minutes. And what did she do because she knew that she was going to talk with me? She not only made an appointment with a therapist but she went to it before we talked.

She was feeling so great when we talked. She had much hope after her therapy session. And she thanked me for pushing her into doing it.

#3 – I helped make her career clearer.

My client has a job that suits her needs. She likes what she does, works hard enough and has summers off. But she is approaching 30 and wants to make sure that she doesn’t let her career life pass her by without being all that she could be.

But what would that look like? Being all that she could be?

I had her make a list of everything that made her heart sing and then I had her read it back to me during our phone call. After she read that list we started talking about possible career options. Because she had just read a list of what made her heart sing her mind was clear and wide open. And we used some of those things on her list to identify a career move.

And guess what? We landed on one. A good one. Her homework was to take the first step towards making it happen.

As we were wrapping up she said “Can I tell you something? It’s almost embarrassing. I make these little kids bracelets and I would love to make them and sell them on Etsy.”

“What a great idea,” I replied and gave her some ideas for getting started down that path as well.

If she hadn’t felt comfortable enough to trust me with that little pearl of wisdom it might never have popped out of her mouth and come to fruition. And she was so happy it did.

#4 – I taught her how to talk with her husband.

My client has a very good relationship with her husband overall but communication had broken down, like it does in many long-term relationships.

They had some things to talk about and she had no idea how to broach them.

I taught her that the most important part of communication is to talk not about how the other person is acting but how their actions make you feel. Another person can not get angry with you because of how you feel but they can get defensive about what they perceive is an attack on their character.

I also taught her that timing was everything. That if she wanted to talk about their drinking I suggested that 9:00pm, after a few cocktails, was not the best time. 9:00am after coffee might be better.

Armed with these new tools she set out to have a constructive conversation with her hubby and have one they did.

#5 – I taught her how to believe in herself.

We are all our own worst enemies. We catalog all of our worst traits and transgressions and trot them out whenever we feel it necessary. As a result we tend to really not like or believe in ourselves.

I had my client keep a running list of daily successes. Big and small.

Getting out of bed. Not yelling at the kids before breakfast. A great meeting at work. Not having three slices of pizza for lunch but only two. Getting off the couch and going for a walk after dinner.

Successes, big and small.

I then had my client read her list of successes every night before bed. So she could sleep on them and remember them. That way those successes would be foremost in her mind, as opposed to her failures, and then she could trot them out when needed.

Believing in herself has allowed my client to move forward in her life, working on her relationship with her husband, growing her career and dealing with her drinking with more self-confidence.

And self-confidence is the key to success.

So there you go, my 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life.

We all have issues in our lives and we all find them difficult to deal with. We have the support of friends and family but more often than not they just want to support us, to tell us what we want to hear.

But not a life coach. A life coach will tell you what she sees, objectively and professionally, and hold you accountable for plans that you make. She is the guardian angel who sits on your shoulder and reminds you that you are wonderful. She is the wonderland elf who gives you tools to succeed. She is the fairy godmother who helps make all of your dreams come true.

Sounds pretty wonderful doesn’t it?


Let me help you make BIG CHANGES in your life.

Contact me NOW and I can help!


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Things That You Can Do To Keep Your Man Happy And Keeping Him Wanting More

I don’t know about you but I find men a complete mystery. I have a very good male friend who I often ask for a man’s perspective on something that I am thinking about doing. His answer is almost always completely different from anything that I might have come up with myself. It blows me away every time.

With that in mind I asked him to tell me what a woman can do to keep her man happy. I had a sense that it might be totally different from what women might think it could be.

And guess what? I was right!

Here is my latest: 5 Things That You Can Do To Keep Your Man Happy – and Keep Him Wanting More

#1 – Let him make you laugh.

If there is one thing that men love it’s external validation that they are all that. So much of how men connect with the world is about what is external vs. internal – how they look, how they are perceived, how successful the world thinks they are vs. how they are thinking and feeling. And this is okay. It’s different from women and it’s okay.

Let your man know that he makes you laugh. And laugh often. You are giving him the ultimate validation that he is being appreciated by you, the woman he loves. And the smile that you give him with that laugh? It will make him weak in the knees. And putty in your hands.

Putty is good….

#2 – Be thankful when he gives.

Men are at their best when they are giving. It’s in their nature. When they give they take care of those they love and this is a primal need for them.

It’s hard for modern men to give because it’s hard for modern women to receive. And often times, when a man does give to a woman she freezes. Either she ignores the giving or complains that it’s not enough or acts in a way that implies that she doesn’t deserve it.

I have a client whose husband used to buy her jewelry because he knew that she loved it. And she did. Unfortunately, everything he bought her wasn’t to her taste. She would thank him sweetly but then return it for something that she wanted. And every time she did this she hurt him. So much so that eventually he stopped buying her jewelry. And that didn’t make anyone happy.

So be open to your man giving to you, big or small. And thank him for it.  You will be glad you did and he will be happy.

#3 – Don’t be too helpful.

Women are, by nature, caregivers. We long to take care of anyone and everyone, often to the point that we stop doing anything for ourselves and we get resentful and bitter about it. Especially with our spouses.

But men don’t want that! They don’t want us to be TOO helpful.

Don’t get me wrong. Men love having their socks picked up and their laundry done for them. They like not having to buy Christmas presents for the extended family or wipe down the sink. But they do want to feel like they can take of themselves. That they are a contributing member of a couple. Maybe even sometimes the guy in charge.

So let him do his thing. Take care of himself. And maybe even take care of you for a change.

Oh, and one more thing – did you know that when you baby your husband too much he starts to look at you as he does his mother. Do you want him to start equating you with his mother? I didn’t think so.

Need help with your man? Let me help…

#4 – Be a girl.

I know I know. How can I say that in this modern world? Men and women are equal. Women can do everything that men can do and do some of it even better. We are not soft. We are steel. We aren’t going to act like girls.

I get it. But one thing that we can’t ignore is human nature. It is in our biology that men are masculine and women feminine. We each have standard accompanying traits. Men are strong and protective. Women are soft and nurturing. And, no matter what the world says, men and women react to each others’ strength and softness.

So let yourself be a little girlish. Let yourself be soft around your man. Wear dresses. Speak softly. Laugh at his jokes. Make him feel like you need him. Make him feel like a man.

#5 – Let him know when he finds your ON button.

What do I mean by that? Here is an example:

My ex-husband and I had a “no power cord” rule for all gift-giving occasions. He could not buy me anything that included a power cord. One year, for Mother’s Day, he took a risk and bought me a garage door opener. I LOVED it. I loved it so much that that night he got lucky.

He was delighted and amazed when he realized that he had the ability to make me so happy that he could flip my switch. From then on he worked diligently to find things that he could do that would activate my ON button.

And really, that was a win-win situation for both of us.

So there you go… my 5 Things That You Can Do To Keep Your Man Happy .

In this crazy world it seems like keeping our man happy shouldn’t be a priority. I mean, they aren’t children – why can’t they take care of themselves? But the reality is is that everybody needs to be taken care of. Sincere efforts need to be made to allow your partner to feel loved and cherished, and to love and cherish you in return.

So follow these steps, even if they seem a little at odds with what you believe about the modern man and woman. It will be worth it.

Maybe next week I will write about how to keep your woman happy. That might be a little more complicated…


Need more ideas for keeping your man happy?

Contact me here and I can help!


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Things You Can Change to Be Happy – Even If Change Scares the $*%& Out of You

Change. Many of us dread it. We are plodding along just fine so why do we need to change anything? Change just causes stress which only leads to more unhappiness. Right?

Ask yourself if you are really happy. If you got hit by a bus tomorrow would you go to the other side with no regrets? Have you lived a life that made your heart sing?

If your answer to my question is yes, well done!

If your answer to my question is no, read on.

Here is my latest: 5 Things You Can Change to Be Happy – Even If Change Scares the $*%& Out of You.

# 1 – Your thoughts.

You know those pesky thoughts that incessantly course through your head? You know the ones. The ones that tell you aren’t enough. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not successful enough.

Yes, those thoughts. The thoughts that are holding you back.

Did you know that letting those thoughts run rampant through your head does only one thing – allow those things to become your reality. Running negative tapes manifests negative outcomes. Running positive tapes manifests positive outcomes.

It’s time to change those thoughts. It won’t be easy but with a little determination you can bring about big change.

One of my clients had spent a lifetime telling herself that she just wasn’t worthy of love. A variety of factors had led her to believe this to be true and because her brain consistently reinforced her belief she had a hard time finding someone to love her. And not finding love reinforced her belief that the words in her head were true.

I challenged her to challenge those thoughts. To talk back to the negative thoughts and provide evidence that they just weren’t true. When she thought that no one ever loved her I encouraged her to make a list of those who had. Her various boyfriends throughout the years, her parents, her friends, her kids, the barista guy who had flirted with her for years. Those people liked and loved her. Happily.

She kept this list easily accessible and when that dreaded thought reared it’s ugly head she referred to the list. Gradually that thought in her head, being starved of reasons why it was true, became much quieter.

And then, armed with her new feeling of self worth, she flirted back with that barista and it looks like she just might live happily ever after.

#2 – Your mind.

Ok, so you have a disagreement with someone over something big or small. Politics. Who left the toilet seat up.The color of the sky. Which is better, crunchy or smooth peanut butter. Everyday stuff.

That disagreement gets heated and there is just no settling the difference of opinion. You both stalk off in a huff.

Sound familiar?

How important is it to you to be right all of the time? Are you capable of looking at both sides of an argument and maybe being swayed to change your mind?

Being able to change your mind is a powerful thing. It is not the weakness that some might see it but really a great strength.

I have a client who always had to be right. In any and every conflict she dug in and insisted that it was her way or the highway. As a result her relationships were struggling. Her spouse spent most of his time working on his golf game, her teenagers only talked to her when they needed money and she knew that her co-workers avoided her.

It was only when I started pointing out to her how many times in one hour she said “but I was right” did she start connecting the dots. Her desire to be right was alienating her from all that was good in her life.

My client made a conscious effort to change her behavior: she decided to start picking her battles. Things that weren’t as important to her she would let go. Who left the toilet seat up? Who cares. The color of the sky? Who knows. Smooth or crunchy? Oooh, that’s a tough one.

As a result of being able to change her mind my client became a lot more pleasant to be around and her loved ones returned. She learned, the hard way, that not being right all the time felt a whole lot better than being right and alone.

#3 – Your habits.

Yes, we love our habits. And we all have many of them. Habits are very comfortable and allow us to go through our days on auto-pilot.

Habits can be anything. Eating the same breakfast everyday, always driving the same route home, stopping for a doughnut before picking your kids up from school. Habits. Like a comfy pair of slippers you can wear all day.

I am not suggesting that you break your habits completely but a little shifting can make a big difference.

Try eggs instead of cereal for breakfast one morning – you could find they give you more energy for your day. Drive a different way home from work and you might find the Thai restaurant of your dreams on that alternate route. And, while doughnuts are yummy, there is a whole world of sweet junk food out there to indulge in on your way to school. Ever tried a Yodel? It will change your life.

Try it. Change things up a little. See what you discover in the process.

#4 – Your relationship.

I can’t tell you how many clients of mine stay in a relationship WAY past it’s expiration date. Past the point where it is full of love and joy and healthy companionship. Instead they live in relationships that make their every day a sad place, a place that causes them to be depleted instead of fulfilled.

We stay in relationships for many reasons. Because of the kids, because of finances, because of the mistaken belief that we will never find someone else to love us. All of these reasons are valid and worth consideration. But just for a minute, consider this…

Imagine waking up in the morning next to someone who makes your heart beat faster. Imagine holding hands with that person walking to the subway, talking about your upcoming day. Imagine a lunchtime phone call from that person who just wants to hear your voice. Imagine the feel of your heart skipping as that person walks in the door at night. Imagine that person wrapping themselves around you as you drift off to sleep.

How do all of those imaginings make you feel? If they make you feel good, deep down to your core, pay attention to that. If that’s not how you feel about the relationship you are in right now it’s time for a change.

Because, really, wouldn’t being really and truly loved in 2017 be a wonderful thing?

#5 – Your friendships.

Yes, our friendships are incredibly important. A good friend can make all of the difference getting through good times and bad. I know that I have a friend for every mood and am incredibly thankful for each of them.

On the flip side there are those friendships that are not fulfilling. Those friendships that are one sided, or two faced or life sucking. It is these friendships that need to be considered.

I have a client who had a life-long friend. They grew up together and then settled in the same town to raise their kids. A few years back my client’s friend started having trouble in her marriage. My client was there for her friend, letting her rant about her husband’s behavior and accompanying her for dinners out so she wouldn’t have to go home. That’s what a good friend does, after all.

My client began to notice that her friend started criticizing my client’s marriage. She would point out issues with my client’s husband and their relationship. She would get angry when my client wouldn’t recognize or acknowledge those issues. My client started getting paranoid about her relationship, wondering if something was happening that she just wasn’t seeing. She was a mess.

After working with me she started to see that her friend was projecting her helpless unhappiness onto my client. My client had to choose to walk away from the friendship. It was painful but it had to happen. For my client’s happiness and the health of her marriage.

Interestingly, when my client pulled away from her old friend that friend, missing an outlet for her anger, was able to take a clearer look at her marriage. This clearer look allowed her an opportunity to actually do something about it. And she did.

So there you go, my 5 Things You Can Change to Be Happy.

2017 is upon us. Another new year and another opportunity to live the life of your dreams. And the best way to do that is to start approaching your life differently than you have been approaching it thus far.

Albert Einstein said that you shouldn’t try to “solve problems with the same consciousness that created them.” If you are unhappy in certain areas of your life it’s time to make some change. Change that will allow you to approach that issue in a new way. A way that might actually be effective.

Imagine living the life of your dreams. A life full of everything that you have ever wanted. You can make this happen by simply having the courage to make some changes.

You can do it! You are worth it!

Looking for more ways to bring about change? Contact me and I can help.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons to Speak Up – Even if it’s All You Can Do to Whisper

How many times have you wanted to say something and just haven’t? A great idea you had at work, a frustration with your mother in law, words of anger at someone who treated you badly? You open your mouth to speak and nothing comes out.

More than once I am guessing. Correct?

And how does it make you feel? Not so good, right?

There are 405,358 reasons to speak up. Here are 5 of them.

My latest: 5 Reasons to Speak Up – Even if it’s All You Can Do to Whisper.

 

#1 – Spoken words prompt action.

If your words are in your head, not spoken, they will stay there, out of the light, ignored and irrelevant. Wasted.

Letting your thoughts out into the world can and will prompt action.

I had a client who was talking to her boss about a Huffington Post blog that the company managed. My client remarked that she didn’t know about the blog and her boss said that it had been neglected and was not in use.

My client immediately thought “I want to do it.” And then she sat up and she said “I will do it.”

She now writes weekly for the Huffington Post.

Not too shabby for letting a few words out of her head, eh?

#2 – Words stuck in your head can fester.

For me, unspoken words don’t just sit quietly in my head. They take on a life of their own, playing themselves over and over, sometimes shifting in size and shape, forming and reforming into something that can be almost monstrous. And that monster causes me a lot of pain.

My ex-husband has an incredibly frustrating habit of not returning my emails. For 5 years I have been trying to get him to return my emails and he just can’t, or won’t, do it.

For a long while I didn’t speak up about it. I would patiently wait a few days, hoping for the best. And then I would start thinking about it, wondering what he was so busy doing that he couldn’t get back to me.

And then I would start obsessing about it, wondering why he had so little respect for me that he wouldn’t take a few minutes to return my emails. The thoughts in my head were spinning in a truly ugly, self-destructive way.

I would email him again, angry and accusing. And guess what. He still wouldn’t return my emails.

So now, when I email him, I ask him to respond in a certain window of time. More often than not he obliges and on we go.

Asking for what I needed from him helped keep those festering words from destroying my mental wellness and, ultimately, our relationship.

#3 – Words can keep disagreements from spinning out of control.

One of saddest side effects of not speaking up is the pain that can happen because of disagreements. Disagreements that can happen just because of words that are not spoken.

Think about the last time you and your partner fought. You were standing in the kitchen, having a conversation about something inconsequential, and then something came up that upset one or both of you. Before you knew it you were yelling at each other and someone stormed out of the room.

That night your partner slept on the sofa and you didn’t sleep at all. Breakfast the next day was a nightmare and you couldn’t concentrate all day at work. Not good.

Imagine another scenario. You and your partner, in the kitchen, something comes up and you start yelling. Imagine if, instead of storming out of the room, you stand your ground and continue to talk.

Imagine if, because you actually had the conversation that needed to be had and you worked through your differences, the argument was settled and finished for good, and you were able to then headed upstairs for a little “House of Cards” before bed.

Both of you slept like babies because the words have been said and the issue settled.

Which one sounds better to you?

#4 – Speaking out helps build your self-esteem.

There is nothing better than speaking up about something that you think is important to speak up about. Not only does it create action, keep things from festering and stop disagreements in their tracks but it also makes you see the power that you have with your words.

A client of mine was in a situation where there were 4 tickets to her daughter’s graduation. Three would be used for her son and her ex-husband and herself. The fourth was up for grabs.

Historically, my client would have wanted to keep the peace and given the ticket to her husband’s new wife. But, really, she just didn’t want to do that so she decided to speak up. She told her daughter that she didn’t want the ticket to just go right to her dad’s husband but that they talk about to whom it might go. Her daughter said “I tell you what, I will just bring my friend Nina” and the matter settled.

My client not only felt great about speaking up and advocating for herself but she also could relax into the knowledge that she would be able to fully enjoy her daughter’s big day without the self recrimination created because of words that she hadn’t spoken.

#5 – How else can you change the world?

Really, if people didn’t speak up how would we be able to change the world?

All it takes is one idea. Big or little. And the effects can be far reaching. Of course you can tell yourself that your one little idea won’t make a difference but it can!

A client had a college-aged son who was drinking too much. She didn’t know what to do. She talked to him and talked to him, to no avail. And then she had an idea. “Give him the dog.” She knew her son loved that dog and she knew that the responsibility of keeping it alive would be an important thing for him.

But she wasn’t sure about asking him. Would he think it too much responsibility? Would her ex-husband cut the idea to shreds? Would everyone hate her for being so nosy?

She decided to take the risk and spoke up. She told him that it was time, that he was ready to have the responsibility of the dog. He loved the idea. The look on his face when he heard that she thought him responsible enough was totally worth the risk.

The dog now spends long weekends with her son and he is drinking far less.

She had an idea and she shared it. And it could very well change the life of her whole family and that of future families. What a gift.

So there you go. My 5 Reasons to Speak Up.
Speaking up is not an easy thing. We don’t speak up because of fear, or lack of confidence or a lifetime of not knowing how to do anything differently. If we learn to speak up it will get us straight onto the pathway to living the life of our dreams.

So start small. Today. Tell someone something that you might not ordinarily tell them.

Tell your partner you love them. Your child that you are proud of them. Your boss that you have a great idea for that meeting next week. Your mother-in-law that you love having dinner with them but that this week just won’t work because you have tickets to the Nutcracker for your family.

Speak your truth, big or small. Raise your voice above a whisper.

Change the world.

Looking for more ways to speak up? Contact me and I can help!

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!