Posts

5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible

So you have a dream. Something that you really want. Perhaps something that you have always wanted or maybe something you have just recently come to understand you want. You have a dream.

Time to make it happen. You can do it!

Here is my latest – 5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible.

#1 – Know what EXACTLY it is you want.

In order to get what you want to have to know exactly what it is you want.

I have a client who hired me because she wanted to move and she needed support to do so. “What,” I asked her, “does that mean, specifically?”

She wasn’t sure. She was renting and she hated her apartment. So I asked some questions.

Did she want to move to another apartment or a house? Did she want to continue to rent or to buy? Did she like her neighborhood or did she want to make a big move?

After some discussion she decided that she wanted to stay in her neighborhood and buy either a town home or an apartment.

She knew what she wanted. Next we started working on getting it for her.

#2 – Start taking steps NOW!

One of the biggest obstacles to getting what we want is that we get overwhelmed. The distance that we have to travel, and the obstacles that we have to overcome, can often times seem too overwhelming and so we stop before we even start.

For my client who wanted to move, she was so overwhelmed at the prospect of BUYING A HOUSE. So, instead on focusing on BUYING A HOUSE, I suggested that her first step was to go online and find some listings that she liked. Just to do that. When she was ready she would go look at some of them. The actual BUYING A HOUSE would be further down the road, when the time came.

She was not overwhelmed by the prospect of looking at some listings. So she did and she was off.

#3 – Recognize your fears.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles for getting what we want. Fear that we won’t get what we want. Fear that we will get hurt along the way. Fear that we will get what we want and then what will we do?

Identifying fears is the only way to deal with them.

For my client her fears were many.

She was scared of the process of looking at houses. So we started slowly with identifying listings and then moved onto actually looking.

She was scared that she wouldn’t find something she liked that she could afford. So she looked at many different places in her price range so she see what her options were.

She was scared of the mortgage process. So I had her meet with a mortgage broker who could walk her through the process.

Fears are going to happen but if you identify them, one at a time, you can deal with them.

#4 – NO second guessing.

For many of us we know what we want but other people have opinions and as a result we often lose sight of what that really is. Perhaps your dream gets modified because of something your mom suggests. Or perhaps you don’t believe you can do it because your sister reminds you that you have never succeeded before.

Don’t let this happen. Know what you want. Write it down. Write down the path to getting it. Write down the obstacles that will present themselves. Write down your fears.

When someone tries to question you, refer to your lists, remind yourself what it is that you want, that you know how to get there and that you are going to. No matter what!

You can do it!

#5 – Never never never give up.

Yes, obstacles are going to arise, fears are going to rear their ugly head and you are going to get supremely overwhelmed. And this is where many people give up. I mean, if the House can’t get the votes to repeal and replace Obamacare the first time out then it should be the law of the land forever. Right? NO!

When obstacles and fears present themselves, take them one at a time and deal with them. My client looked at house after house after house and was increasingly desolate that she would never find one. I told her to keep it up. And she did!

Until, you guessed it, she found an apartment. The apartment of her dreams.

She never gave up and she got exactly what she wanted.

So there you go – my latest: 5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want.

You have a dream. I know you do. And you can get it. Exactly as you want it.   You just need to know what it is, see how to get there, slay obstacles one by one and never give up.

Really, how hard is that? YOU can totally do it. My client did.

And yes, she is living happily ever after…..


 

Looking for more ways to get exactly what you want.?

Reach out to me for a free “Let Your Dreams Begin” session and we can make it happen!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach Their Dreams – Even if They Seem Unreachable

Remember when you were little and you had big dreams for when you were finally a grown up?

I wanted to be an astronaut. Or a ballerina. Unfortunately my hopes of being either of those things fell by the wayside when I failed earth science and grew a foot.

After college I thought maybe I wanted to write and to help people but my goals were vague so instead I went into the hospitality business and then into retail sales and then became a mom. Before I knew it I was 40 and a working mom and my dreams had disappeared under a load of laundry.

Now, 12 years later, I am living the life of my dreams. I write articles and blogs and coach women towards reaching their dreams. I have learned a lot along the way and this I want to share with you today.

Here are 5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach their Dreams – Even if They Seem Unreachable.

#1 – Be clear about what is important to you.

I can’t say this enough. If you don’t know what is important to you then you can’t make it a priority. Instead your life will consist of day after day just doing the things that you need to do to get by.

Do this. Mark out 1 hour on your calendar this week, one hour to sit down with a cup of tea and write down everything that you can think of that is important to you. Write down the things that you do and things that you don’t. Set your list aside and go take a walk.

A few days later revisit your list. Did you forget anything? Is there anything on there that maybe shouldn’t be?

Next, circle the top 10 most important things on your list. From that list circle the top 7 most important things, and then from that list circle the top 5 most important things. From your top 5 list circle the top 3 most important things.

You now have the top 3 things that are most important to you. See that wasn’t so hard.

From there you choose the #1 thing that is most important to you and now you have a starting point.

#2 – Create a plan to make that #1 thing happen and make it a priority.

This is an important thing to do. Many of us get overwhelmed at the prospect of actually reaching our goal. If it’s to run 10 miles, three miles per week and we are running nothing now then making the jump from 0-10 miles seems undoable. So we don’t and we give up.

Instead we need to recognize that to reach our goal we have to take it one step at a time. And one step at a time is easy.

The first step is about getting moving. Schedule three days a week to get outside and walk. Just for 15 minutes. Something to get your body used to the movement.

Put it on your calendar. In RED ink so that you can’t ignore it.

After the first week increase your time to 20 minutes, three times per week.

After the second week you could walk for 10 minutes and run for 10 minutes, three times per week.

After the third week you can run for the full 20 minutes, three times a week.

Gradually you can increase your time and distance until you reach your goal of 10 miles, three times a week.

One step at a time.

#3 – Surround yourself with a supportive and loving community.

Your community can be made up of family, friends, co-workers, gym mates. Whoever can support you and hold you accountable. This is key to success. We all have good intentions but without support and accountability it’s hard to stay on the path to reaching our dreams.

The best kind of support you can get? A life coach who will encourage you and hold you accountable. Just sayin’.

#4 – Do NOT doubt yourself.

This is the most self-sabotaging thing that we do. We listen to the voice in our head that tells us that we can’t do something. That we don’t have the time or that we aren’t good enough or that we don’t deserve something.

This is, may I say, complete bullshit. You are an amazing person, someone who gives and gives and you should have the life of your dreams. And if you are happy, everyone around you will be happy!

Believe that you are capable of reaching your goals. One step at a time. I believe in you.

#5 – Take care of yourself and try to have a little fun.

Yes, our lives are crazy but it is essential that every women take a little time for herself. Take a bath, go for a walk, go shopping with a friend, climb a mountain, learn to surf, take a road trip. Do something every day that feeds your soul. Take at least 1 day a month to do something that will make you happy.

And at least once a year get away, alone, to get to know yourself again.

So there you are…5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach Their Dreams.

Remember, it’s never too late to live the life that you want. You just need to decide what that life is and then take that first step. The rest you can do, easy.

Just look at all that you do now. Only Superwoman can do what you do every day. Your dreams will be a cinch…


 

Want more ideas for getting you started on the path to the life of your dreams?

Contact me NOW and I can help!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely

Everywhere you look you are bombarded with the message that if you do this ONE THING (take a pill, buy a dress, fix your hair, lease a car) your life will change. And we have all tried that ONE THING and no miraculous change has occurred.

Shocking! And disappointing.

Working with a life coach is different. The life coach approach to change is different from anything that you have ever tried before and it’s potential to create significant change in your life is not to be underestimated.

Ready to be all that you want to be? Truly?

Here are my 5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely.

#1. A life coach will help you define what you want and who you want to be.

We know that we are dissatisfied with our lives but most of us don’t know what exactly that looks like. A life coach will help you take stock of your life and define where you are now and where you want to be.

Working with me, we will look at 5 key areas of your life: physical & mental health, life skills, relationship health, personal care, career satisfaction.

A good look at each of these areas will help us determine where you are now and where you want to be, information that is indispensable in the process of bringing about change.

#2 – A life coach will help you create a plan.

Once you have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to be it’s time to make a plan. You can try to do this on your own but oftentimes the prospect seems so overwhelming and off-putting that you just don’t know where to start. So you don’t.

A life coach can help you cut through the clutter and the chaos and help you create a plan to get you where you want to be, step by step.

#3 – A life coach will hold you accountable.

This is a key part of life coaching, one of those things that you really CAN’T find anywhere else. Seriously. Anywhere else.

We all have friends and loved ones who support us and promise to make sure that we do what we say we are going to do. But they love us and they don’t want to nag and they just want us to be happy. And all of that is wonderful but it doesn’t help you reach your dreams.

Every week your life coach will work with you to create action steps and every week the two of you will come up with a list of “homework,” things to be done to move you forward on your path.

The following week your coach will ask about your homework and, I promise that you are going to want to report in that you did it. And you will want to do it because you will see how remarkable is the change that is happening.

#4 – A life coach will power you through the obstacles.

Rocks get onto the road that we are traveling. Sometimes they are small ones that we can pick up and toss aside but sometimes they are boulders that will require a little more effort to maneuver around.

A life coach has the knowledge and experience to help you break through those rocks. A life coach can teach you tools that you need to get past any rock that might get in your way, big or small.

And those tools you can use now and carry in your toolbox forever.

#5 – A life coach will give you unconditional support and encouragement.

Think about a football coach. What does he do? He teaches his team how to play their best and cheers from the sidelines as they do so.

A life coach is the same way. A life coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader but at the same time teach you how to be your true self.

And a life coach will be there every step of the way, to help you when you falter and cheer you on when you succeed.

Isn’t that just the kind of unconditional support we all really want?

So there you go…5 Ways Working with a Life Coach Will Change Your Life.

So now you can see how life coaching really is that ONE THING that can help you bring about significant, wondrous change.

Working with a life coach will help you to finally live the life that you have always known you could live. And you don’t need to change your hair color or your ride to do so.

Of course, every time I mention a life coach above I mean ME, so get in touch with me NOW  and let’s getting started making your dreams come true!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

7 Things to Teach Your Kids Now so that They Won’t Drive You Crazy When They are Teenagers – Even if People Tell You that It’s Inevitable

I am on the other side of raising my kids. Well, mostly. Does it ever really end? Both of my kids are in college, are polite, kind, interesting and inquisitive, and I couldn’t be prouder of them.

The teenage years were tough, but not as tough as they could have been because of the things that we taught them when they were young.

Teaching these things really works. I watched my friends who didn’t teach them flounder during those difficult years and many wished they could go back and reinvent the wheel.

You won’t have to do that because here are 7 Things to Teach Your Kids Now so that They Won’t Drive You Crazy When They are Teenagers.

#1 – How to really listen. If you are going to take only one thing away from this blog post, take this. Listen to your kids and teach them how to listen to you.

Kids have a lot to say, much of it ramblings, but there is a lot of information coming out and if you aren’t listening then you are going to miss it. If you hear what they are saying then you can help, guide and support them with what they need, not what you think they need.

#2 – How to really talk. We adults tend to discount what children say and we shouldn’t. Let them talk and feel heard and when they are teenagers, and really need to talk, they will come to you.

Talk to your kids in a way that encourages them to listen to you and understand where you are coming from. If they understand you and trust you then they are way more likely to respect you when they are older.

#3 – That you have set fair boundaries and will stick to them. This is very important. If your kids learn early what their boundaries are, and that their parents will enforce them, they are less likely to push back when they are teenagers. Our kids were allowed one hour of screen time before homework. When that hour was up there was no arguing because they knew that if they argued there would be no screen time the next day. And we stuck to it. The habit of listening to their parents will be as much second nature as brushing their teeth.

#4 – Good habits. Again, instilling habits is about creating habits that are second nature. Make sure they eat breakfast, that they have some time outside everyday, that they treat the dog with love and respect. When they become self-centered teenagers the habits that they have learned in their childhood will stay with them.

#5 – Good behavior.  Another important one. We parents need to model good behavior. To this end we must follow “The Golden Rule”: do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If you are impatient with your kids or yell at your husband your kids will see your behavior and mimic it. The same with how you talk to people in the store, or on the phone, or at Christmas. If your kids see you being polite, respectful and friendly then they will be more likely to act them same way.

#6 – The value of free time. Everyone needs to learn what it is like to have some down time. Make sure that they have time every day for themselves and that they aren’t caught up in the maelstrom of modern life…excelling at sports, academics and social service. Yes, make that a part of their lives but also let them be kids. They will be adults soon enough and will have a lifetime of maelstrom.

#7 – The importance of reaching for their dreams. Kids have dreams and those dreams need to be encouraged and supported by their parents, even if those dreams seem out of reach or ridiculous to you. So instead of trying to “set them straight” about how life works, encourage their pie in the sky dreaming.

And let them fail to reach those dreams, if that is part of their journey. Children who only know success, or that their parents will fix everything, will never learn how to fail in life, how to bounce back and grow. They will just believe that everything will be handled and not reach out to the world with confidence and bravado.

So there you go. 7 Things to Teach Your Kids Now so that They Won’t Drive You Crazy When They are Teenagers.

I can promise you now that if you teach these things to your kids those teenage years will be easier. And those teenage years are years when Moms finally have the time to grow themselves. If you aren’t always focused on, and fighting with, your kids then you will have time, and energy, to reach out for your dreams.

And don’t forget- I can help you with that. Get in touch with me NOW and we can get your started. You will be glad you did!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams

What are the 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams?

You know that you aren’t satisfied with your chaotic, jam-packed life. You wake up in the morning drained and dreading the day. You are impatient with your friends and co-workers because you have too much on your mind. You yell at your kids when bedtime gets delayed because you know that you have a bunch of things to do that you don’t really want to do. You are not happy and you want to change that.

In this article I will tell you the 5 greatest challenges to reaching your dreams. You will be surprised how simple it is to overcome these challenges!

5 Greatest Challenges Standing in the Way of Your Dreams

 

#1 – Not knowing what your dream is

We all know that we want to be “happy” but most of us cannot define what that really means.  So make a list. Be specific. Knowing what your goals are makes it much easier to get there.

#2 – Listening to what our brains are telling us

Our own brains can be our biggest enemy. Our brains will tell us that we can’t change, that we can’t achieve anything worthwhile, that all is hopeless. These are all lies but we are hardwired to believe them. Learning to not listen to what our brain is telling us is very important. I know that when I started thinking about being a life coach my brain tried to talk me out of it every day. I learned to tell it to just shut up.

#3 – Listening to what other people are telling us

We are, whether we ask for it or not, constantly inundated with other peoples opinions. What we shouldn’t do is believe everything that we are told. People bring their own experiences to a conversation…someone might have tried and failed at what you are trying to do so they will tell you that it’s hopeless. People aren’t going to stop telling you what to do but you can take it all with a grain of salt and do what YOU think you should do (taking into account #2 above).

#4 – Lack of accountability

Ok, think New Years Resolutions.  You make them on January 1st and have every intention of following through on them. By January 31st, or 15th, those intentions are gone. This is because you have no one to hold you accountable. No one to make sure that you follow through. Your friends can try but they have their own resolutions to let go of. You need accountability to follow through effectively.

#5 – Life

Yes, the chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting life that moms, and every woman, leads everyday. That life is what interfered with us reaching our dreams in the first place and what allows us to keep putting them off “until things quiet down.” I am here to tell you that things will never quiet down. You need to make time in your day to reach your dreams or you will never do so.

So there you go. The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams. They are pretty simple, don’t you think? Not one of these challenges is beyond your abilities to overcome. All it takes is some knowledge, intention and guidance.

Do you think that these challenges are something that you could overcome? Does any one seem more daunting than the rest? Do any of these challenges surprise you?

 

Overcoming these challenges in order to reach your dreams can be tough for many people, and it’s often much less challenging with some guidance. If you’d like help figuring out your dreams and paving a way to reach them, get in touch for your first free session with me.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!