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5 Ways to Make a Career Change – Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed

You know that you want a career change. You have known it for a long time but the prospect of actually doing it is daunting.

There are so many ifs, ands and buts about switching jobs and getting started is the hardest one. Where will I go? Will I have to take less money? Will anyone even hire me?

And then you think, “Maybe I should just stay in the job I have now.”

No! To move to a new job or career you just have to start at the beginning. 

Here are my 5 Ways to Make a Career Change, Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed.

#1 – Do your research.

This is the most important place to start. Doing your research is essential to getting yourself going. So many of us get stuck in the same old job because we have no idea what our options are.

See what sort of jobs are out there that you might be interested in, whether in your industry or in another industry.

See what jobs are in alignment with your skillset. You have lots of skills that you have acquired over the years, skills that could be useful in a variety of industries.

Research the industries you are interested in, even if it’s the one you already work in. Things change so quickly these days and it’s important to stay up to date if you are going to be putting yourself out there.

Information is power, especially when it comes to a job search.

#2 – Update your resume and your cover letter.

This is very important. Whether you have been in the same job for 3 years or 30, an updated resume and cover letter are essential. And using the correct format is essential.

Resumes and cover letters these days are no longer read by potential employers but rather scanned. There are so many applicants for jobs that that is all potential employers have time to do.

Make your resume and cover letter succinct and to the point, very clearly highlighting your skills and experience. Use dot whacks not full sentences for easy scanning. Put your most relevant skills near the top of your resume as many employers don’t get more than a quarter of the way down the page before they move on.

Never, ever, ever indicate anywhere that you are lacking skills. You might be but you don’t need to tell your potential employer before it is absolutely necessary, if ever.

#3 – Apply, apply, apply.

Once you have your resume up to date start applying.

There are a variety of sites where jobs are posted. Locate the ones in your industry and check them daily. The same with companies that you are interested in working for. They post their jobs in the human resources section of their websites. Checking them regularly will ensure that you don’t miss out on any opportunities.

Don’t hold back. Apply for any jobs that interest you. There are so many job applicants these days that it might take some time before you get a callback. Or not, because your resume is awesome!

Another important thing to do is reach out to your contacts. The best way to get an interview is through a personal recommendation. So use those contacts. That’s what they are there for.

#4 – Brush up on your interview skills.

How long has it been since you have had a job interview? A year? 10 years? Interviewing can be like riding a bike in that you remember how to even if you haven’t for a while but practicing will make sure you don’t fall off.

When you land an interview take a few minutes and consider some questions that they might ask you. Think about what you might answer and practice speaking those answers out loud. Work with a friend or with your mirror. But do it! Practice…

#5 – Don’t give up!

Again, like #1, this is key.

Applying for a job can be frustrating and disheartening. There are so many people out there applying for jobs and it can be hard to stand up and be noticed.

But you will be. Put your best self out there as often as you can and you will be discovered and given the opportunity to shine.

Don’t give up until you get the job of your dreams.

So there you go: 5 Ways to Make a Career Change, Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed.

No one should be stuck in a job that they have outgrown. Don’t let indecision and the unknown hold you back from looking for a new job.

Just start at the beginning and before you know it you will be on your way.

Looking for more ways to successfully change your career? Contact me now and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise

Worthiness. We are all born with an innate sense of worth. As babies we cry for food, demand attention and insist on doing things OUR WAY. It is this sense of worth that actually keeps us alive.

As women and mothers we tend to lose that sense of self-worth. So much of our time is spent tending to the needs of others, calming crying babies, assuaging angry partners, talking down disappointed clients, that we stop taking care of ourselves. And when we stop attending to our own needs we start losing our sense of self worth.

This is not ok. Not knowing how worthy we are can lead to patterns of behavior that only reinforce our belief that we are not worthy of being loved, cared for or living the life of our dreams. We let our children run all over us, our partners take us for granted and our bosses demean us. We stop eating well and taking care of ourselves and we stop reaching for what we want.

So here are my 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise.

#1 – Love yourself like you love your kids.

Take a moment and feel in your body how much you love your kids. That’s an easy feeling to get in touch with, isn’t it? You love your kids unconditionally and would lay down your life for them.

Now, imagine how it would feel to love yourself that way. To know that you always have someone with you who could remind you how awesome you are or to point out that you are totally capable of walking into your boss’ office and asking for what you need.

It would feel pretty good right?

So get in touch with your inner mom and keep her with you always.

#2 – Call your mother.

Look back on #1. Think about how you love your kids. Your mother loves you that much too. So call her.

I have a client who has a twice a weekly phone call with her mother. They don’t talk about anything in particular, just what is happening in each other’s lives.

This client’s mother is her daughter’s most faithful fan and cheerleader. She always reminds her daughter of what a great job she is doing as a parent and a wife, the toughest jobs in the world, and what a wonderful daughter she is for keeping in touch so often.

My client says that having one person in her life who regularly reminds her of her awesomeness has changed her life. It gives her the confidence in herself that feeds her desire to be all that she can be.

#3 – Think back to your wedding day

Your wedding day was a big day. It was a day that you and your partner promised to love and care for each other for a very long time. It was a day when your friends and family stood up for the two of you, supporting you as you started off on your life together.

Take a moment, pull out a photo if you have to, and remember how you felt on that day. The love you and your partner shared and the love that your friends and family gave you unconditionally. And look at how happy you were cutting that cake…

Remembering your wedding day will remind you that you love and are loved by a lot of people. And what better way to touch base with that inner self-worth than through a little bit of love?

#4 – Remember earlier successes

We have all had many, many successes in our lives but for some reason it is the failures that stick with us. You know those failures that keep you up at night, obsessing? Yep, those ones.

Instead of obsessing, try taking stock of the successes you have had. The “A” you got on your thesis in college, the interview that landed you that first job out of college, that dress you were rocking the day your partner first saw you, the 10lb child you gave birth to in 3 hours, without drugs. Those are all pretty huge successes. Ones you should celebrate.

Try keeping a list in your head, or even better on paper, of the successes that you have had in your life, the successes that deep down you are really proud of, and look back on them as needed. As reminders of just how amazing you are.

#5 – Relish your everyday victories

This is an important one. Many of us feel like we are failures all day, every day. We don’t pack an organic lunch for our kids and then we yell at them when they dawdle and miss the school bus. We are short with our partners when they let us down in some small way. We don’t get enough work done because we are trying to order shoes for the kids from Amazon. All of these we perceive as failures.

But really, we have successes in there too.

First and foremost, we get out of bed every day. Everyone should see that as a success. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

We might not pack organic but our kids do get lunch everyday. We might not have finished that spreadsheet but our kids will have shoes, which is important, and that spreadsheet will ultimately get finished.

And we get to crawl into bed with our partner at the end of the day and share the closeness that surviving another crazy day brings about.

So when those successes happen, recognize and relish them. Because you do have them. Every day.

So there you go. 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy.

 In order to live the life of your dreams you need to get back in touch with that child who knew her worth, who demanded that she get what she needed to survive and thrive.

So try my tips and see what happens. And I have more tips to share so get in touch with me NOW and we can get you on the way to living the life of your dreams.

 

 

 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Pathways to Saying NO – And Not Even Feel Guilty Doing So

So your life is chaotic, jam packed and crazy. You wake up each morning wondering how you are going to get through the day because you have so much to do.

When you drop the kids at school another parent approaches you about organizing a bake sale/ wrapping paper drive/capital campaign (pick one). What do you say? “Yes. Sure. Of course.”

What have you done? You have added one more thing to your already jam packed life.

Saying NO is a very important part of living the life of your dreams. We all want to be involved in the things that we want to be involved in but many of us are involved in things we don’t want to be involved in.

Why? Guilt, usually, but also the inclination to be helpful, to carry our share of the load and to set a good example for our kids.

These are all great things. But really, if you want to be the best person that you can be, to set a great example for your kids, you have to learn to say NO.

Here are 5 Pathways to Saying NO – and Not Even Feel Guilty Doing So.

#1 – Believe in yourself and your reasoning for saying NO. When you are asked to do something take a moment, or an hour or a day, to really consider why you would add this thing to your pile.

Would it satisfy you? Do you have the time? Do you have the interest? Is it the best use of your already limited time?

Giving careful consideration to something before committing to it will allow you to say NO with conviction. You have solid reasoning as to why you shouldn’t do it. If you believe in your reasoning then it will be way easier to stand up and say NO.

#2 – Keep your NO explanation, respectful, short and sweet. When preparing to say NO always begin delivering the message in a respectful way. Say that you are happy to have been asked and thank them for their confidence in you. This will soften them up for the next sentence…in which you say NO.

When saying NO it is important that you don’t go on and on as to why you can’t do something. You have your reasons and you want to stick to them and rattling on about why you are saying NO will only open up opportunities for the asker to convince you to say yes.

#3 – Don’t take a no to your NO. Many askers are professionals. They know how to make another person do what they need them to do. When you have decided not to do something stick to it. You will feel much better about yourself if you do. This can be a learning experience for both you and your kids: how to make a choice and stick to it, even in the face of push back.

#4 – Use email. I know this seems like a bit of a cop-out but really it’s the reason that email was invented…to deliver difficult news.

State your reasons for say NO clearly and decisively and offer no personal justifications or emotional commentary about this decision or anything else.

Your message will land and the asker will not be able to argue and will move on to ask someone else. And there is ALWAYS someone else to ask…

#5 – Reward yourself. Positive reinforcement is a really good thing. Of course, by saying NO you will have the positive reinforcement that you haven’t added one more thing to your plate but I think that it’s important that when you have done something good for yourself, you reward yourself.

So reward yourself for a job well done, saying NO. It can be little, like a wonderful piece of dark chocolate, or big, like a massage. Whatever it is that will make your heart sing.

You have done something very difficult and you should give yourself credit for a job well done.

So there you go…5 Pathways to Saying NO – And Not Even Feel Guilty Doing So.

Saying NO is not something that comes naturally to any of us but once you learn the value of doing so you will be well on your way to reaching the life of your dreams. Saying NO will help you not only not get overwhelmed but it will keep your time open for more important things.

And remember, if your kids see you saying NO in a clear, positive and respectful way they are more likely to do so themselves. This will set them up for success in the future, because they can set boundaries, something every mom wants for her child.

So really, it’s a two for one win. More time for you and a lesson learned for your kids. Well done, Mom!

Get in touch with me NOW for more ways to help your dreams come true!  You will be happy you did.

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

7 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Stuff, Even if You Think that You Just Can’t Do It

We all have stuff. It’s just what Americans do. We collect stuff. Some of us have more of it than others and some of us have a harder time keeping that stuff under control.

Having too much stuff can cause a ton of stress.

There is an efficient way to get rid of all of that stress-inducing stuff, a few secrets of which I am going to share with you here today.

Here are 7 Easy Steps to get Rid of Stuff, Even if You Think that You Just Can’t Do It.

#1. Identify what room needs to be de-stuffed first. This is the key. If you look around the house and think “I need to get rid of ALL this stuff” you will get so overwhelmed that you will just go watch an episode of “Orange is the New Black” instead.

Choose one room. Any room. If you want to start small, do so. Like the mudroom or the laundry. Or even a dresser drawer. Actually completing the task of de-stuffing that room, or drawer, will make you feel so good that it will make you want to tackle a larger room next.

#2. Give yourself a good chunk of time to start and finish the project and make it a priority. This is key. You need to make a date with that room, one that you won’t break. If you try to do this “when you have time” well, you know. Most likely it just won’t happen.

#3. Set up your IPOD and your speakers. Throwing away is way easier when done to music. Get out your favorite playlist, put on some comfy clothes and get ready to get down to it.

#4. Start in one corner of the room. This is a huge secret and one that WORKS!

In the chosen corner of the room, garbage bag in hand, start throwing things away. Things that you aren’t using, that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things that you are still using and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren’t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing, or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it’s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for the role that it played in your life and then say goodbye.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process over and over. Don’t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room.

#5. Use the middle of the room. As you throw away the things that are broken and leave the things that aren’t, you will come across things that can be 1. recycled or 2. given to the Salvation Army. Put those thing in the middle of the room, in two piles. When you are done you can put the recycled stuff at the curb and you can call the Salvation Army to come pick up the rest.

NOTE: if this step is overwhelming just skip it and get a bigger garbage bag.

#6. Take a minute and look around. Stand in the doorway of that room. Appreciate how de-stuffed it is. Notice how it makes you feel. Less stressed? Recognize that YOU DID THIS. All by yourself.

If you can do this, just imagine what else you can do….

#7. Do not buy more stuff. I know this seems obvious but, really, it’s what we do. We go to Sam’s Club and think to ourselves “Oh, look. This croquet set is so cheap and summer is coming and we could play together as a family and…” The reality is that, maybe, it will get used once and then put away to gather dust.

Consider purchases carefully before making them. You will not only reduce your stress but you will save yourself money. Money that you can used for a massage or something else that will make your life a better place.

So there you are… 7 Easy Steps to get Rid of Stuff, Even if You Think that You Just Can’t Do It.

Getting rid of stuff can change your life. De-cluttering your house can de-clutter your mind, freeing it up for way more important things.

Like living the life of your dreams. Get in touch with me NOW to get yourself started. You will be glad you did!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Tweak Your Thoughts to be Happier, Even if it Seems Impossible

You know that voice in your head? The one that tells you that you aren’t doing enough? That you are fat and getting old? That you are a horrible parent and an even worse spouse? It’s a horrible voice, isn’t it?

I am here to tell you that you don’t have to pay attention to that voice. If you can teach yourself to talk back to it, to that voice in your head, you will find yourself immediately happier.

But how, you ask, do you talk back to the thoughts in your head? It is possible: all it takes is a little awareness and effort.

5 Ways to Tweak Your Thoughts to be Happier

#1 – Recognize that the thoughts in your head are just thoughts. They are not the truth – they are something that your brain has made up. For some reason, our brains are naturally inclined to go to the worst possible denominator when something goes awry.

If we make a mistake at work we think “I am terrible at this job and I am never going to be able to do it and I should just quit right now and crawl into a hole.”

Take a moment and think about this thought pattern, right now, with a clear mind. Is that the truth? Do you really think that because you failed at one thing you are a complete failure? Of course not.

In the moment, or moments, around an incident that is where your brain goes. The key is to recognize it and to reframe it immediately. Instead, tell yourself “I made a mistake this time and I have learned from it and I won’t make it again.”

If you don’t let your brain take you down to the darkest depths it is easier to rise back up from a mishap and move forward.

#2 – Don’t judge yourself for your thoughts. Once we start to recognize where our brains go in difficult situations another phenomena sets in – we start to judge ourselves for our thoughts. This is another brain trick, one we need to get around.

Your brain will make you think “I am such a loser. Why does my brain always tell me I am so worthless? I must be worthless if I can’t stop my brain from going there.” Don’t let it! Instead of judging yourself, recognize that your brain is playing tricks on you, that there is nothing you can do to stop it but that you have the power to change it. Don’t let the guilt seep in. Block it and shut it down.

Power is a very valuable thing to have.

#3 – When you make a mistake, think of an earlier success. Back to the example above. When you make a mistake, instead of saying to yourself “Oh I messed this up, how will I ever be successful at anything ever again?” a good idea is to think back to a difficult situation that you have been in before and gotten past.

What happened? How did you get past it? What did you learn from it? Remind your brain that you have had successes, many of them, and that this one mistake isn’t going to bring down the rest of your life.

#4 – Do something to give your brain a rest. We get these thoughts in our head all day/ every day, no matter how well our lives are going. An important tool in not letting these thoughts get the best of you is to give yourself a break from them.

This kind of a break is what yoga and meditation are all about: focusing your thoughts on something other than the thoughts that are bringing you down. Yoga and meditation are great but not everyone’s thing.

You can give your brain a break by watching your favorite show, reading a book, singing along to a song, talking to a friend. Whatever you need to do to give your brain a rest, to stop running those negative tapes over and over. After your rest you will be more resilient in talking back to your brain when you need to.

#5 – Love yourself like you love your kids. If you think about it, every day our kids say out loud things that are very similar to those voices we hear in our heads. And, because they say them out loud, we are able to help them work through them, to guide them in reframing their thoughts. And we do this because we love them and want them to be happy and healthy. Love yourself like you love your kids and teach yourself to reframe those thoughts.

So there you go, 5 ways to tweak your thoughts to be happier. Remember, those thoughts in our head don’t always benefit us and they are NOT the truth. They are just thoughts. Learn to recognize, reframe and move forward and your life will be a happier place. See? It really is possible…

Do you get negative thought tapes running in your head? What do you do about them? I would love to hear….

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons to Love Your Mother in Law, Even When It’s Really Hard

When you get married, more likely than not, you also get a mother-in-law, the woman who raised your partner. And quickly there can arise conflict between you and your mother-in-law. She raised your partner and is used to things being done a certain way and you married him or her and have your own opinions. This conflict can be really hard on a marriage. It can even destroy it.

Don’t fret! By understanding more about how your mother-in-law’s brain works you can not only improve your relationship with her but you can alleviate conflict and thereby strengthen your relationship with your partner.

5 reasons to love your mother-in-law

#1 – Remember that she has experience that you don’t have. Our mothers-in-law have been doing what you are just beginning to do for probably more than a few decades. That is a lot of experience, experience that you should appreciate and take advantage of. You are new at all of this and, whether you know it or not, can use all of the help that you can get.

#2 – Remember that she did raise your partner. I know it’s hard to imagine but she did influence your partner’s life for 18 years or more. And that shouldn’t be discounted. My mother-in-law always told me that her son could clean a toilet and vacuum like a madman. I told her that, after 20 years of marriage, I had retrained him: he cleaned nothing anymore. I see now that that was a slap in her face. She worked hard to raise the person that she did and she should to be recognized, and appreciated, for that. And remember, you did fall in love with the person she raised….

#3 – Remember that she loves your kids as much, if not more, than you do. I know that my grandmother was a huge positive influence in my life. She hadn’t been a great mother to my mother but for me she was amazing. And I have learned, from my own mother, that having grandchildren is the best thing that ever happened to her. So appreciate that this person loves your children as much as she does. After all, every person who loves your child is a gift.

#4 – Remember that she really does just want to help. Mothers in-law don’t set out to drive us crazy. They don’t mean to criticize our parenting or complain about the state of our kitchen. They are there, in the house, to be with their children and grandchildren. And, more often than not, their intentions are good. Perhaps the manner in which they speak up about our parenting or our housekeeping skills is abrasive and stinging but remember they are only human and are most likely just trying to help. Really.

#5 – Remember that you are lucky to have her and that she won’t always be there. So many mothers start out with no support. Their mother and mother-in-law is far away, or no longer alive, or absent for some reason. When we are new parents, or even more seasoned ones, we are lucky to have someone there who can support us when we need it. And remember, none of us is getting any younger so they might not always be there for us. Appreciate how lucky you are and make the best of it.

There you go. 5 reasons to love your mother-in-law. It might not always be easy but I promise you, in the long run, doing so will be worth it. After all, your partner loves her. She is his or her mother. You loving her too shows your partner just how much you love them which makes everybody happy.

Do you have conflict with your mother in law? What do you do to work through it?

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Little Ways for Women to Feel Healthier, Even if Life Always Seems to Get in the Way

Every day moms take care of everyone else. That is just what we do. We make sure the kids are loved, fed, bathed and supported. Likewise our partners. We do our best to carry our share, or more, at work and always try to be a shoulder to cry on for our friends.

What we aren’t good at is taking care of ourselves. We set goals to go to the gym, or sleep more or eat better but in the end life gets in the way and we just let it go.

We don’t have to do this!

Here are 5 Little Ways for Women to Feel Healthier…

#1 – Every day do one thing that makes you happy. It doesn’t need to be a big thing but do something. Make a playlist for your car and listen to music that makes you sing out loud. Serve breakfast for dinner (because no one ever complains when dinner involves pancakes). Bring your book in the car and read a chapter while waiting to pick up the kids at school. Whatever small thing it is that makes your heart sing.

For me, when my kids were little, every Sunday was pizza night and then my People magazine and I would retire to the bathtub for an hour. I went to bed Sunday night happy and Monday mornings were much easier.

#2 – Replace the Oreos. I am willing to bet that before you had kids Oreos were not a staple of your diet. Am I wrong? But now they are because they are in the cupboard. You get tired, or stressed or bored, and there, right in front of you, is a little disk of self-indulgence. So you eat one, or 20, and you feel better for 30 seconds and then you feel not so good.

Keep something that you really love in the cupboard that will fill that need, when you get tired or stressed or bored, and go for that instead. Chocolate covered almonds or honey roasted peanuts or individually wrapped chocolates (so you can’t take a handful). And, if you have something that combines sugar and protein (like sweetened nuts) you won’t be affected by the sugar so quickly and you won’t get that Oreo cookie crash.

#3 – Play with your kids. We all have grand plans when our kids are born, to get down on the floor with them and play. And we do, at least until their sibling is born, and then we as often as not let them have at it.

Playing with your kids is proven to make you happier and happiness leads to healthiness. First of all, play makes you smile and the physical act of smiling actually makes you happy.  Also, by sheer definition, play is fun, more fun than work. So put on a tiara and frolic with your kids, at least for a bit. Try it!

One of my clients plays a game of cards with her kids and her husband every night after dinner. It only takes 20 minutes and they laugh and kid and enjoy each others company. And then off they go to homework etc. She reports that the 20 minutes makes the transitions easier and sets up a much smoother bedtime routine, every mother’s dream.

#4 – Get just a little more sleep. I know you are saying, “Yeah. Right.” But I am serious. Try to fit just a little more sleep into your day. Actually I am suggesting you build it into your schedule. Right there between going to the dry cleaners and finishing your project for the meeting. Make a plan to take a 15-minute nap right after lunch, before you head out to do errands. Or sleep 15 minutes later 3 times a week. Wherever you can fit in just a little more sleep.

If you sleep in 15 minutes 3 days a week that’s 45 minutes more sleep. Add two naps in there and you have more than an hour. Every bit of sleep makes a difference.

#5 – Do one thing that will get your heart rate up. Can’t make time for the gym? No problem. Even a little cardio is better than none. Why? Because getting your heart rate up produces more endorphins and endorphins actually produce a euphoric feeling.

Ideas? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Dance around the kitchen while cooking a meal. Walk the dog. Ride a bike. Kick a soccer ball. Jump on the trampoline. Getting your heart rate up regularly is a very healthy thing to do.

I have a client whose family got a dog. My client was worried because she knew it would make more work for her, which it did. Of course it needed to be walked but taking it for walks actually changed her life. Not only did getting out of the house and getting her heartbeat up make her feel good, she also made more friends when she was out with the dog, and we know what more friends can do for your health!

So there you go: 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier. Give them a try for week. See what a difference it makes. Let me know when it does!

Have I missed anything? Do you have something you do that makes you feel healthier in your daily life?

Are you having trouble implementing healthy habits into your life? Do you feel guilty when you try to set aside time to make yourself feel healthier? Let’s talk.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Make your Partner Feel Loved, Even if it Can Be Hard to Connect

Being a mom and a partner can be tough. From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world. Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, strain that can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

5 Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Loved:

#1 – Do for your partner the things that make him or her feel loved, NOT the things that you would like done to you. This is easier said than done because we don’t always know what makes our partner feel loved. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways that someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. Both of you should go to his website www.5lovelanguages.com and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

#2 – Tell your partner that you love them. I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their partner that they love them and my client says “He/She knows that I love them.” Maybe this is true and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your partner in the eye and tell him/her every day that you love them. It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful or that you miss them. They might “know it” already but words are very meaningful. Kristen never heard from her spouse when he was away and it was very painful. They argued about it almost every time he left. I suggested that she tell him that she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone. She says that he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

#3 – Touch your partner. Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person. Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies, that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your partner. Hug them when they walk in the door, take their hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around them when you go to sleep at night. Touching your partner will speak volumes about the love that you have for them.

#4 – Be Kind. I know this seems basic but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life. I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm between us that was hard to repair. My client, Jessie, came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn’t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, “no.” She set the intention to be kind that very day and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom. You know the saying “If you love someone set them free.” Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. This clinginess can actually drive someone away, however, because your partner will become resentful of your need to constantly have them by your side. Both of you should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, sometimes together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once, before we became a couple and then a family, and it’s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and a better parent.

So there you go, the 5 Ways to Make your Partner Feel Loved. These suggestions aren’t always easy and might require some effort on your part but stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner, every day, as you navigate through this crazy world. Pretty good, don’t you think?

How about you? Do you feel loved? Do you make your partner feel loved? Do you have any ideas that I have missed?

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

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