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5 Ways for Moms to Enjoy Their Summer – Even if the Next 2 Months Loom Dark and Scary

Summertime. The weather is warmer, the grass is growing, the flowers are blooming. It’s a time for everyone to get outside, to smell the fresh air, to enjoy life after the past 7 months of school and cold weather.

And yet, the prospect of summer fills many moms with a sense of dread. What exactly to do with your wonderful, but usually in school, kids all day every day.

I am here to tell you that not only can you survive the summer but you can truly enjoy it!

So here you go: 5 Ways for Moms to Enjoy Their Summer – Even if the Next 2 Months Loom Dark and Scary.

# 1 – Schedule SOME time for your kids to go to camp.

Summertime should include some summer camp. It can be any kind of summer camp – a science camp at the local elementary school, an art camp at the Y, a week away at a camp on a lake in Maine. Whatever is the right kind of camp for your kid.

Modern day children have so much scheduled time that the sudden onslaught of free time when school gets out can be overwhelming. So schedule them some camp.

The key word here is SOME camp. It is essential that kids have down time for proper development. They need to have time to entertain themselves, to be dreamy or adventurous or whatever makes their hearts sing.

So schedule them SOME camp but also schedule them some free time. One of my clients has her kids go to camp every other week in June and July and then leaves much of August free for downtime and family activity.

#2 – Let yourself off the hook.

You have a TON to do. A TON. Every day is packed with chores and errands and work and having the kids under foot all summer makes those things difficult to accomplish.

So let yourself off the hook. Choose some chores and errands that can be let go a bit this summer. Like keeping the house super clean or super involved family dinners. Tidy up when you have some down time and get the kids to help. For dinners use your grill! Grill some meat or fish, make a salad, pop some vegies in the steamer and you are done.

Of course there are some things that can’t be put off. Schedule some time every day, or every other day, to get these things done. Choose a time that you know will work for you: first thing in the morning when everyone is slow to rise, after lunch when people are lazing, after dinner when the kids are running around outside with the neighbors. Pick a time and put it on your calendar and get those things done!

And don’t forget that your kids can HELP with these things. Your child can do the dishes or the laundry or clean their rooms. And the kids can go on errands with you and learn a thing or two about how the world works. Don’t be afraid to get your kids working. It’s good for them.

#3 – Embrace playing.

Remember summertime when you were a kid? Our parents didn’t schedule us at all…we were sent outside in the morning and told to come back for lunch and not a moment earlier. And remember how much fun you had?

So it’s summer! Do some things with your kids that you love to do. Go to the beach, hike in the woods, take out the canoe, go to the park, climb a tree. Get dirty and sweaty. Play!

#4 – Do something that you like to do.

As I have said in earlier blogs it is essential for your mental health that you do something for you as often as you can. Putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own is exhausting and life sucking. Yes, hopefully you will let things go this summer and play with your kids but still you will be very tired at the end of every day.

So schedule something that you love to do. Take a yoga class, volunteer at the local hospital, go on a date with your partner. Whatever it is that takes you out of your life as a mother and reminds you about the woman that you are.

#5 – Eat a lot of ice cream.

Come on! It’s summer. And if there was ever a time to eat ice cream this is it.

Keep a box of popsicles in the freezer, all different flavors. Make a regular trip to the local ice cream spot and try a different flavor each time. Maybe even have a sundae.

There is a television ad about a room full of children who are bouncing off the walls, having a great time. In the next scene there is silence…because everyone is eating ice cream. Ice cream is one of those foods that makes everyone happy. So indulge.

So there you go. 5 Ways for Moms to Enjoy Their Summer.

These tips work for both stay at home and working mothers. Working mothers have the extra challenge of keeping the kids occupied during their work day but by applying some of the principles above you too can enjoy your summer and not let it go by without stopping to smell the roses.

And how that you have read my blog, GO OUTSIDE and start enjoying your summer.

Need more ideas about living the life of your dreams? Contact me now and we can get started!

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise

Worthiness. We are all born with an innate sense of worth. As babies we cry for food, demand attention and insist on doing things OUR WAY. It is this sense of worth that actually keeps us alive.

As women and mothers we tend to lose that sense of self-worth. So much of our time is spent tending to the needs of others, calming crying babies, assuaging angry partners, talking down disappointed clients, that we stop taking care of ourselves. And when we stop attending to our own needs we start losing our sense of self worth.

This is not ok. Not knowing how worthy we are can lead to patterns of behavior that only reinforce our belief that we are not worthy of being loved, cared for or living the life of our dreams. We let our children run all over us, our partners take us for granted and our bosses demean us. We stop eating well and taking care of ourselves and we stop reaching for what we want.

So here are my 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy – Even if the Person in the Mirror Tells Them Otherwise.

#1 – Love yourself like you love your kids.

Take a moment and feel in your body how much you love your kids. That’s an easy feeling to get in touch with, isn’t it? You love your kids unconditionally and would lay down your life for them.

Now, imagine how it would feel to love yourself that way. To know that you always have someone with you who could remind you how awesome you are or to point out that you are totally capable of walking into your boss’ office and asking for what you need.

It would feel pretty good right?

So get in touch with your inner mom and keep her with you always.

#2 – Call your mother.

Look back on #1. Think about how you love your kids. Your mother loves you that much too. So call her.

I have a client who has a twice a weekly phone call with her mother. They don’t talk about anything in particular, just what is happening in each other’s lives.

This client’s mother is her daughter’s most faithful fan and cheerleader. She always reminds her daughter of what a great job she is doing as a parent and a wife, the toughest jobs in the world, and what a wonderful daughter she is for keeping in touch so often.

My client says that having one person in her life who regularly reminds her of her awesomeness has changed her life. It gives her the confidence in herself that feeds her desire to be all that she can be.

#3 – Think back to your wedding day

Your wedding day was a big day. It was a day that you and your partner promised to love and care for each other for a very long time. It was a day when your friends and family stood up for the two of you, supporting you as you started off on your life together.

Take a moment, pull out a photo if you have to, and remember how you felt on that day. The love you and your partner shared and the love that your friends and family gave you unconditionally. And look at how happy you were cutting that cake…

Remembering your wedding day will remind you that you love and are loved by a lot of people. And what better way to touch base with that inner self-worth than through a little bit of love?

#4 – Remember earlier successes

We have all had many, many successes in our lives but for some reason it is the failures that stick with us. You know those failures that keep you up at night, obsessing? Yep, those ones.

Instead of obsessing, try taking stock of the successes you have had. The “A” you got on your thesis in college, the interview that landed you that first job out of college, that dress you were rocking the day your partner first saw you, the 10lb child you gave birth to in 3 hours, without drugs. Those are all pretty huge successes. Ones you should celebrate.

Try keeping a list in your head, or even better on paper, of the successes that you have had in your life, the successes that deep down you are really proud of, and look back on them as needed. As reminders of just how amazing you are.

#5 – Relish your everyday victories

This is an important one. Many of us feel like we are failures all day, every day. We don’t pack an organic lunch for our kids and then we yell at them when they dawdle and miss the school bus. We are short with our partners when they let us down in some small way. We don’t get enough work done because we are trying to order shoes for the kids from Amazon. All of these we perceive as failures.

But really, we have successes in there too.

First and foremost, we get out of bed every day. Everyone should see that as a success. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

We might not pack organic but our kids do get lunch everyday. We might not have finished that spreadsheet but our kids will have shoes, which is important, and that spreadsheet will ultimately get finished.

And we get to crawl into bed with our partner at the end of the day and share the closeness that surviving another crazy day brings about.

So when those successes happen, recognize and relish them. Because you do have them. Every day.

So there you go. 5 Ways for Women to Remember that They are Worthy.

 In order to live the life of your dreams you need to get back in touch with that child who knew her worth, who demanded that she get what she needed to survive and thrive.

So try my tips and see what happens. And I have more tips to share so get in touch with me NOW and we can get you on the way to living the life of your dreams.

 

 

 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Easy Ways for Moms to Make Time for their Kids When There is None

We all wish that there were more hours in the day. More often than not, every mom feels like she just hasn’t done enough with her day when she finally crawls into bed at night. And usually she feels most guilty about the time that she didn’t spend with her kids. That guilt leaves moms feeling dissatisfied, self-doubting, and unhappy.

I am here to show you how to change that. Yes, life is busy and the days seem short, but it is possible to make more time for your kids every day and go to bed feeling good.

Here are 5 easy ways moms can make time for their kids when there is none

#1 – Make spending time with your kids a priority. Build it into your day. Write it on your list. Make it one of things that you can cross off when completed.

Going to the post office? Bring one of your kids and let them put the mail in the slot. Cooking dinner? Have one of your kids sit at the breakfast bar and help you chop the veggies. Walking the dog? Let one of your kids hold the leash. See how you can do that? And if you give your kids some responsibilities during your activities, you are killing two birds with one stone – time well spent and a life lesson given.

Jackie never included her kids in her errands because she thought they would find them boring and she wouldn’t be able to get them done efficiently. And then one day her 9 year old son came into the kitchen as she made dinner. She asked him if he wanted to cut the mushrooms. His eyes lit up and he said YES. She set him up with the biggest, safest knife she had and he cut the mushrooms. They weren’t as perfect as she might have made them, and it took a bit longer than usual, but the look on her son’s face as he wielded that knife and the chatting they did as he cut them made it all worth while.

#2Recognize the difference between quality and quantity time. So many moms don’t do the things that they want to do because they think they just don’t have enough time. They don’t exercise because they think they need more time than they have, so they just give up the whole thing. It’s the same with spending time with your kids. You don’t need to spend an hour with them and organize some fancy activity. Talk to them in car on the way home from school. Take a few minutes at bed-time to really connect. Whenever you can, ask them about themselves and their experiences. Just make the minutes worthwhile.

#3 – Make a date. I know this goes against what I wrote above, but I believe that you should have regular dates with every important person in your life (including yourself!). Our lives are so chaotic and jam-packed and it’s important to take the time to connect with the people who are important to you. So, make a date with your child. Go to the movies, get some ice cream, take a drive, indulge in a little fast food. Make a date and make it memorable.

One of my clients made an effort to take her kids camping every year. Just her and her kids. No spouse. They eat jiffy pop and marshmallows, go miniature golfing, and stay up late around the campfire. It is a special and memorable time every year, one that they all look forward to. You can do something like this, or smaller, more frequent outings.

#4 – Get involved in their activities. Kids these days are busy, busy, busy, just like their parents. What better way to share time with them than by partaking in one of their activities. You can volunteer to coach their soccer team, be the classroom mom, or be the designated driver to summer camp. Better yet, you can get involved in an activity with them. You could enroll in a class together… martial arts, ballets, arts and crafts, anything that you are both interested in.

A client of mine enrolled in a sewing class with her daughter. They had both always wanted to learn how to sew and this was the perfect opportunity. They got to spend time together, laugh together when they made mistakes and ultimately each made a piece of clothing that will always remind them of their time together. Priceless.

#5 – Get off your phone! I am sure this one bears no explanation but no list about spending time with your kids is complete without it. Basically, time spent on your phone, tablet, or laptop is time that is not being spent with your kids- no matter how good at multitasking you think you are. So, when your kids are around turn it off. If you do, you will find the time to do the suggestions above. And your kids will love you for it.

We moved to Tokyo when my kids were little and when we asked them what they liked best about living there they both said, “mom’s cell phone stayed in Maine.” Telling…

So there you go, 5 ways for moms to make time for their kids when there is none. Your life is chaotic, jam packed and crazy but it’s still important to take the time to connect with your kids. Doing so will improve your relationship with them and will allow you to go to bed at night feeling a little less guilty. Wouldn’t that feel great?

What do you do to spend time with your kids? Creative ideas would be appreciated by all, I am sure!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Life Coach, Even if She Thinks She Doesn’t

When we get married and have kids no one gives us a manual on how to be an effective spouse or parent. As a result we are more often than not just winging it. We check websites, talk to our friends, listen to our mothers but really we are just flying by the seat of our pants, trying to follow our instincts. And we do the best that we can.

Imagine having someone walk by your side, whispering in your ear, encouraging you and supporting you through those tough life decisions. A life coach can do that for you.

Here are my 5 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Life Coach, Even if She Thinks She Doesn’t.

#1 – To feel less torn in a million different directions and more whole. The key role that a life coach plays in the life of a mom is to help identify opportunities and make a plan. Many moms are so caught up in the day-to-day struggle of getting things done that they lose sight of the big picture. When working with me, instead of winging it, a mom is working a daily plan, one that helps her reach her goal as she defines it, a plan that she has helped create so she knows that it will work for her.

One of my clients was completely overwhelmed by her life…managing her work, both at home and at the office, her kids, her volunteer work and her friends. We took a good hard look at what was important to her and what was not so much and we made a plan to manage those things in a way that left her more satisfied, less torn, and happier.

#2 – To feel less exhausted and more energized. Imagine going to bed each night and waking up each morning knowing how you are going to get through your day. You know how you are going to take care of yourself so that you can manage this crazy life of yours and not come undone. Imagine how energizing that will feel. You are no longer flying by the seat of your pants, something that leaves you feeling completely drained. This will happen if you identify your opportunities, make a plan and work through them.

Kris knew that she would have to get rid of her farm because the chore work was more than she could handle with the work around her family. She was devastated because her farm was the best part of her day. We looked at what it was about her farm that was so overwhelming and she kept on coming back to her back pain…a pain made more intense by her farm work and made her less able to care for her family. We made a plan for her to see her doctor and get PT and within six months she was able to farm AND take care of her family. She said that attending to that one thing, her back, was life changing for her.

#3 – To feel supported and heard. You have lots of friends, a loving partner, siblings and co-workers who all make you feel supported and heard. But all of those people have lives of their own that they have to attend to and they are more likely than not going to tell you what you want to hear. Not a life coach. I am here to provide you unconditional support when you need it most. And I will listen to you and empathize but I will challenge you on your thinking, to make sure that the choices you are making and the path you are choosing is the right path for you.

#4 – To improve your relationships. Life as a mother is chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting. We are pulled in a million different ways and, often as not, we are crabby as hell. We snap at our kids, sulk at our partners and ignore our mothers. All of these things do not improve our relationships. Working with a life coach will allow you to define your goals, give you a path to get there and ultimately give you the life of your dreams. And when you are happy your children will thrive, your relationship flourish and your career will soar. Everybody wins!

#5 – To hold you accountable and help you celebrate. The best thing about a life coach is that I will hold you accountable in reaching your dreams. I will be there, by your side, supporting you step by step and if, for some reason, you falter I will pick you up by your bootstraps and get you back on the path. And then, when you reach the life of your dreams, I will be there to help you celebrate because I will know, more than anyone, how hard you have worked to achieve it. Imagine how good that will feel, reaching your dreams.

So there you go. 5 Reasons Why Every Woman Needs a Life Coach. I know it’s hard to believe that you deserve one, but remember this: if a woman is living the life of her dreams, her relationship will be happier, her children better adjusted, her friendships stronger and her work more successful.

Have you had experience working with a life coach? If so, did it work for you?

If you’re a mom and you are thinking about working with a life coach, please contact me for a free 45-minute phone session!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!