5 Signs Your Depression is Getting Really Bad After Your Break Up
Are you wondering if your depression is getting really bad after your breakup?
Do you find yourself just getting sadder and sadder? Have your friends mentioned that you are not yourself? Have you been ignoring your mother’s calls for months?
Knowing if your depression is getting worse after a breakup is a hard thing to do because you are living your life day to day, and the big picture of what is going on with your mood can be cloudy.
It’s important to know if your depression is getting worse because with knowledge comes power. If you know you are, in fact, getting more depressed every day, then knowing will give you the opportunity to figure out the next steps to take.
Here are 5 signs that your depression is getting really bad after your breakup.
#1 – You Have No Hope
Do you feel completely hopeless?
Do you believe that tomorrow will be worse than today? That your work is only going to get harder? That going out with your friends is worse than death? That you will never love or be loved again?
Feeling hopeless is a key sign of depression.
I know that when I feel depressed, looking forward to the future is virtually impossible. I believe that I am worthless and will never add anything to the world and why even bother to get any help because it’s not going to make a difference. It’s a horrible feeling.
What I am here to tell you is that there is hope for your future. Even though you might want to slap the person who tells you that ‘everything will be fine,’ I can promise you that, if you can get some help to get you out of your depression, the future can be bright. That you will excel at work and that you will love and be loved again.
So, feeling hopeless is a key sign that your depression is getting really bad after your breakup.
#2 – You Are Isolating
Be honest. When was the last time you left your house? Was it yesterday to get some take out? Was it a few days back when you needed to do some laundry? Was it last week for a friend’s birthday?
Take stock, right now, of the last time that you left the house. It is important that you take note because it’s easy to lose track.
Have you been spending time with your family and friends? Does the idea of doing so fill you with dread, and are you ignoring everyone at all costs? Would you rather stay home and watch TV than do anything at all?
All of the things I discussed above are signs that you are isolating. Isolating is another key indicator that you are depressed and that things might be getting worse.
I know that the idea of getting off your butt and doing something is incredibly daunting right now, but if you can do even one small thing – like taking a walk with a friend or going to a movie – you will feel better, even if only for a short time.
#3 – You Can’t Get Out of Bed or Off the Couch
Are you struggling with a complete lack of energy? Do you spend all day in bed, sleeping or eating ice cream and watching the ‘Desperate Housewives of some city far away’?
Do you sometimes manage to get out of bed, only to make your way over to the couch where you settle in under your blanket and watch some romantic movies that make you feel worse?
People who are depressed have very little energy and, as a result, spend a lot of time sedentary. And being sedentary is not only a sign of depression but it’s also the worst thing that you can do to work through it.
I have heard some great ideas from people who are struggling to get out of bed or off the couch when they are depressed.
When they get out of bed, they put their mattress against the wall so that impulsively getting back into bed is impossible. Another thing that they do is to load up the couch with books and clothes and other lumpy things so that being on the couch is uncomfortable.
With no place to collapse into, being sedentary is much more difficult, and it might force you to get out into the world, to get some exercise, and maybe even see friends!
#4 – You Haven’t Showered
I know that when one of my friends is feeling really depressed, the indicator is that she never showers. When she is depressed, self-care is the first thing that goes.
She doesn’t shower. She doesn’t shave. She doesn’t take her vitamins. She doesn’t eat. She doesn’t do her laundry. She pretty much does nothing that will help keep her body strong and healthy.
And not feeling healthy only fuels her depression.
My friend knows that she does this. A coping skill that she has developed is that, when she has a moment or two when she feels okay (which we all do when we are depressed but, unless we make an effort in that moment, we just fall back into the darkness), she takes a shower. And, more likely than not, this one little piece of self-care makes a big difference with her mood, even if only for a bit. And feeling better about herself helps her reach out to her friends or her doctor for help!
So, are you dirty, hungry, and unkempt? If yes, it definitely might be a sign that your depression is getting really bad after your breakup.
#5 – You Are Self-Sabotaging
Unfortunately, when one is feeling hopeless, alone, lazy, and dirty, the desire to do anything positive is just not there. As a result, we do things that are self-sabotaging, things that might keep us depressed rather than moving towards healing.
What kind of self-sabotaging? Reaching out to our ex. Stalking them on Instagram. Reading old text messages. Reflecting on how wonderful things were in the beginning.
Is this you? If it is, STOP these behaviors right now! All of these things will only keep you in a dark spot.
You have broken up with your person, and yes, it’s very sad, but the number one thing that you can do to help you move past it is to go ‘no contact.’ Every moment of contact you have with your ex will only drag you back into that hole of depression.
Imagine if, instead of reaching out to your person, you reached out to a friend. Imagine if, instead of stalking them on Instagram, you used your time on your phone to text with the sister who makes you laugh. Imagine if, instead of reading old text messages, you deleted them, taking back your power. And how about accepting that the way things were in the beginning will never be that way again, because they never are.
So, consider your behaviors these days. If you find you are self-sabotaging instead of doing the things that you need to do to get out of this darkness, then you are definitely depressed.
If your depression is getting really bad after your breakup, know that there are things that you can do about it.
The first step is acknowledging and accepting that you are depressed. Doing so will help you take that first step forward!
Once you have accepted your depression, it is the time to take action. Take a shower, take your mattress off the bed, reach out to a friend, eat something that is good for you, take a walk, and go ‘no contact’ with your ex. If you can do even ONE of these things, you will be on the road to getting past your depression and starting to live your life again.
If you find that these things aren’t making your depression go away, it might be time to see your primary care doctor, to see if they can help you manage your mood. They won’t judge you. I promise!
I know that it all seems daunting right now, but I promise that you can do it. And imagine how good you will feel when you do!
