5 Simple Phrases that Will Make Your Husband Feel Loved
There are so many articles written about what wives need to stay happy but rarely do we talk about what to do to make your husband feel loved.
It’s not that husbands aren’t important. It’s just that the old adage ‘a happy wife means happy household’ is very important to men. And the adage is accurate so they work hard to do what they need to do to keep their household happy.
And one of the things they do is to ignore their own needs and ask very little of their wives. And doing that over a long period of time can lead to their own unhappiness and resentment and can cause a marriage to really struggle.
So, ladies, it’s time to learn 5 simple phrases that will make your husband feel loved so that you can use them and keep your marriage a happy one.
#1 – Thank you.
When we are raising our kids, us moms are always super busy. And not just with kid stuff. We also get involved with work, fundraisers and other school activities that take a lot of time, time away from our families. And when we are gone, our husbands have to pick up the slack.
I remember in the middle of a fall fair that my friend and I had organized, I ran into her husband and their three kids. The kids were young and hard to manage and he looked exhausted. I asked him if anyone ever said ‘thank you.’ He shook his head.
I think about that moment a lot. I know that saying thank you to our husbands for helping out seems like something that we shouldn’t have to do. After all, no one ever thanks us. AND our husbands often don’t do things the way that we want them to, and that can be extremely frustrating, so it’s hard to appreciate them.
Recognizing the things that your husband does to support you is very important. Why? Because everyone wants to be recognized for the efforts they make, even if those efforts might not be exactly what you want them to be.
So, next time your husband covers for you when you need to be out of the house, thank him. If he does something that you have asked him to do (or even something that you didn’t ask him to do – even if you would rather he had done something else), thank him. If he buys you a birthday present, thank him, even if it’s something you don’t like!
Think about how much you like it when someone says thank you! Use that simple phrase and make your husband feel loved.
#2 – I love you.
So many husbands and wives stop saying ‘I love you.’ And it’s not always because they have stopped loving each other but because they have started taking each other for granted. ‘I don’t have to tell her/him that I love him – he/she knows.’ But doing so, I can tell you, is a recipe for disaster.
I remember when my ex and I were struggling. We still said ‘I love you’ when we hung up the phone or said goodbye in the morning. One day, I asked him not to. I said I wanted to save those words for special times between us and not use them by rote.
And he agreed. But he was not happy about it.
Our marriage was struggling but my ex-husband needed to hear that I still loved him. He needed to hear that, no matter how hard things got, that I still had love for him. Not hearing it was devastating to him.
Of course, he didn’t tell me that and a few years later he left. And one of the reasons he did, he told me, was because we ‘didn’t love each other anymore.’
So, make sure your husband knows that you love him. It’s very, very important that he knows.
#3 – You are hot.
I am sure that this won’t be a surprise to you but, for men, sex is very important. And, unfortunately, as married lives get crazy, sex is often the first thing that falls by the wayside. It can be very hard on a couple and especially hard on men.
And, as a result, to help them deal with this absence, ‘you are hot’ is one of those phrases that will make your husband feel loved. Why? Because they will know that, even if you aren’t having very much sex, you desire him.
And being desired, for many men, can be as important as actually having sex.
For many men, as they age, they worry about being desirable. Social media has played some pretty serious mind games with us as far as physical beauty and that can make men very insecure. Also, sex has been redefined by the porn industry, something that makes men and women, alike, feel inadequate.
As a result, it is important that your husband knows that you desire him. I am sure that you would like to hear that phrase from him, even though you haven’t taken a shower in three days because of the baby.
#4 – Go have fun (and mean it).
Ok, be honest, wives. How many times have you told your husband that it was ok for him to go out and do something outside of the household but secretly been resentful that they were doing so and are somewhat passive aggressive about it?
When my kids, who were born 20 months apart, were very young, my husband decided to set a goal of running the New York Marathon. An admirable goal and one that required a lot of effort. And a lot of training.
As a result, not only did he work long hours but he also spent a lot of time running. Specifically, not at home with me and the kids but running. And I was not happy.
While I did tell him how I felt, I didn’t tell him the extent of it. I didn’t want to be unsupportive so I quietly simmered with resentment. As a result, our marriage suffered in a big way.
I wish that I had been able to embrace the things that he wanted to do instead of feel resentment for them. I wish that I had been able to honestly say ‘go have fun’ and be happy that he was doing whatever he was doing.
So, if you find that you don’t support your husband’s activities outside of the family, I would encourage you to dig deep and find a way to encourage him to do things and mean it.
I know it’s hard and that you are tired but we all need to recharge our batteries and letting him do so will make your husband feel loved and that will only improve your marriage in the long run!
#5 – I am proud of you.
The final phrase that you can use to make your husband feel loved is that you are proud of him.
Much like ‘I love you,’ men and women get somewhat complacent when it comes to recognizing their partners achievements. Again, they think that they don’t have to say anything because they believe that their partners know how they feel.
Unfortunately, the opposite is true – most everyone, especially men, need to hear that their person is proud of them.
For many men, their actions are achievement based. While women thrive on emotional connection, for many men, accomplishment is the thing that makes them feel good about themselves. And to be recognized by their person for their accomplishments feels really good.
And, conversely, one of the worst things that you can tell your husband is that he has done a really bad job at something, particularly if he did a pretty good job but didn’t do it the way you wanted it done.
Of course, it is important to give your partner feedback if you would like things done differently but don’t do it with derision. Do it in a positive supportive way, so that he will hear you and do things the way you want them done the next time.
And, if and when, he does things differently, make sure that you tell him how proud of him you are!
Knowing the 5 simple phrases that will make your husband feel loved is the key to keeping your marriage strong.
Most men are pretty easy to keep happy and using these phrases on a regular basis will go a long way to doing so.
Tell them you are thankful for them, tell them that you love and desire them, tell them that you are proud of them and praise them for their accomplishments.
I am guessing that all of these things are things that you would like to hear as well. So, try them out on your husband and see if you start hearing them back!
You can do this! And you will be glad you did.