What it Means if Your Married Man Ghosted You
I am so very sorry if you are reading this article because your married man ghosted you.
I know that having an affair with a married man is full of highs and lows, agony and ecstasy and some days you just wonder if it is all worth it!
So here you are, in the deepest of lows, wondering what the hell is happening.
I can tell you, from personal experience and the experiences of my clients, what just might be happening if your married man ghosted you.
#1 – He is freaking out, again.
How many times have you and your married man broken up? I am guessing probably way more than once.
Are there times when he is overwhelmed with guilt and he declares that he just can’t see you again and you, tearfully, agree to say goodbye?
I can’t tell you how many times this happened to me when I was involved with a married man. We would be seeing each other regularly, really happy when we were together, talking about the future and then, out of nowhere, he would get consumed by guilt and decide that he had to let me go.
It was so sad for me especially those times when he decided to ghost me instead of being honest with me.
I would be left devastated, wondering where he was and sure that he had never loved me. It was horrible.
But, every time, 4 weeks later he would call me, for some stupid reason, and we would agree to meet as friends but the whole vicious circle would just start up again.
So, if your married man ghosted you, it might well be because he is freaking out. Again.
#2 – He takes you for granted!
I have a client whose married man regularly ghosts her. Things are going along just fine and then, out of the blue, she stops hearing from him.
What often happens during this time is that he is doing something with his family or friends. Perhaps it’s the weekend when they are all skiing together, or a weekend away with his wife or his in laws are visiting. For whatever reason, he doesn’t/can’t/won’t text.
And he doesn’t tell her ahead of time because he knows she will get mad and so he just ghosts her when the time comes.
When a married man disappears on the woman he says he love, he is taking her for granted. Why? Because he assumes that, no matter what he does, she will be there for him when he gets back. And, more often than not, she is.
So, if your married man ghosted you it could be because he is taking you for granted.
#3 – he doesn’t want to disappoint.
On the other side of taking you for granted is the fact that he knows that if he tells you the truth, it won’t go well. He perhaps scared that he will hurt you. He might be worried that you will be angry or disappointed. And he knows that he can’t handle those kind of emotions. Most men can’t, even those in committed relationships.
I can’t tell you how many times my married guy disappeared. He had no problem being there for me when things were good, when he wanted my support or my bed. But when it came to facing up to what was going on, he ran away. He knew that he might hurt/anger/disappoint me and he just couldn’t bear the idea of doing that.
Ironically, when he ghosted me, he did all of those three things in an even bigger way. And it didn’t do anything for my self-esteem when he returned again, missing me and feeling like he couldn’t live without me, and I let him back in. Over and over.
#4 – His wife knows something.
More often than not, the #1 reason your married man ghosted you is because his wife suspects something.
I have a new client who reached out to me when her married man ghosted her. She was devastated and confused. He had made her so many promises and they were planning their life together and for him to suddenly disappear was devastating.
He wrote her an email, told her that his wife had found out and that they were trying to work things out.That his wife found photos and conversations and shared Spotify playlists and asked him about them. He told her that he had met someone and that they hadn’t had sex but had had an emotional connection. (Not smart!)
His wife ordered him to never talk to her again, unless they were at work. She now monitors all of his phone calls, text messages etc. And they are trying to work things out.
So, because of his wife, who is the more important one for him to take into consideration, even though he made his girlfriend all of these promises, he ghosted her. Left her feeling less than and unimportant.
The upside of this particular ghosting for my client ““ she saw him for the person he really was and was happy to do the hard work to step away.
#5 – He has met someone else.
This one isn’t as common but it definitely is a thing.
Your married man has decided that he needs someone else to make him feel less alone.
For many men, the thrill of the chase is what makes their affair partner compelling. Having sex is always wonderful but fantasizing about a life with someone, having someone take care of them, having a distraction when things get boring, is also very attractive. When the thrill of those things fade with the affair partner (which they always do) they move on.
Your married man has, instead of working on his marriage, found someone to fill his emotional and physical needs in you. Why would he change his stripes now and try to do the hard work with you?
And why would he do the hard work of facing you and telling you that it was over. Better, and easier, to just ghost you and move on.
I know that this idea is incredibly painful but it’s the best thing that could ever happen to you. If your man loses interest in you so quickly, like he lost interest in his wife, then he definitely isn’t the person you thought he was. Can you imagine what the rest of your life would look like with this man?
Would you ever trust him again?
Having your married man ghost you is a horrible thing and you are feeling very sad, I know.
But knowing what is going on might help you manage the pain.
Know that he might very well be questioning things again, and he will be back. Or he might be afraid of being honest with you and dealing with your emotions. His wife might have found out or he might have just moved on.
With all of that in mind, for whatever reason, the reality is that your married man has ghosted you. I want you to ask yourself if you really want to be in a relationship, potentially a long term one, with someone who will ghost you instead of facing issues head on.
That doesn’t sound very fun, does it? Time to let him go and find the love that you want!
