By now you have heard, I am sure, that according to Donald Trump the only reason that Hillary Clinton is being taken seriously is because she “has the woman card.” The interweb has, of course, gone nutty over this but what has surprised me is that women are shouting about all of the things that we women DON’T have because we are holding the “woman card,” not all of the things that we DO have.
Here are 7 reasons why I believe that holding the woman card is a really, really good thing, full of benefits that men just wish they had.
#1 – With the woman card we are powerful. Say what you want but a man will do ANYTHING to win the woman he wants. ANYTHING. A man wanting a woman started the Trojan War, forced a king to abdicate his throne and has brought down more American politicians than I can count.
#2 – With the woman card we are capable of being pregnant and giving birth. We propagate the species. Enough said.
#3 – With the woman card we find ourselves capable of asking for directions and choosing a parking space, freeing up innumerable hours in a lifetime to pursue other pleasures.
#4 – With the woman card are skilled in the art of faking “it,” simultaneously making a man feel special and speeding up the process so that we can get some sleep. AND we can have multiple “it” without, um, recharging.
# 5 – With the woman card we can do many things that are deemed difficult or even impossible. Like peeing standing up. Or giving birth without drugs. Or Thanksgiving dinner for 12.
#6 – With the woman card we can do many things at the same time. We could even do #2-5 above without breaking a sweat and still have #1 be our reality.
# 7 – With the woman card we live longer. We live longer. What man doesn’t want that? The ultimate frequent “woman card” user reward….
So there you go. 7 reasons that Donald Trump, and every man, wishes he held the woman card.
So. All you women out there. Remember. We rock. Don’t let anyone try to take your power or make you think less of yourself. Hold your head high, go for what you want and wield that woman card proudly.