5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos

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Ok. It ‘ s bedtime. You know the drill. Homework is being wrapped up; teeth are being brushed; the next day’s school clothes are being chosen, lost books are being retrieved, and that last text message is being sent.

And everybody is calmly taking care of their business as you supervise from your easy chair, right? NOT!

Bedtime is chaos. Getting off to school is chaos. Doing homework and making dinner is chaos. Your life is chaos.

Sometimes it ‘ s hard to stay patient in the middle of it all.

There are ways to manage the chaos without breaking down and screaming, which might make you feel better in the moment but is rarely a good motivator. And something you always regret.

Here are my ideas for 5 Ways for Moms to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable. I will use bedtime as an example to work from.

#1 – Stay aware:

Bedtime is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting. Every night. It ‘ s just the nature of the beast. If you go into it remembering that it is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting, you will have a better chance of managing it without losing it.

Before it begins, take a minute (or more if you have it). Take a deep breath. Have a cup of tea. Whatever it will take to get your calm on, go for it.

If you enter a situation already stressed out, having just finished a work call or throwing the dishes in the dishwasher, chances are you will break much quicker than if you go calm.

#2 – Ask for help:

There are usually two grown-ups in the house at bedtime. Don ‘ t try to do it all yourself. It ‘ s something that we moms try to do. Everything. And it usually doesn ‘ t end well.

Divide and conquer. Each of you takes a child. Or one person manages teeth brushing while the other helps pack up homework. Define your tasks clearly, so everyone knows and sticks to their job.

And don ‘ t let the kids play you off each other. Remember that you are a team and that you are bigger than those little people who are trying to run all over you.

#3 – Declare if you are escalating:

I don ‘ t know about you, but I tend to keep my frustration bottled up, allowing them to slowly build until I erupt with loud, ugly words. My kids then looked at me like I was crazy because they had no idea how the night approached me.

Let your kids know if you start to escalate. I use a 10-point scale: 1 being calm and 10 being at the edge. ‘ Hey kids, ‘ I say, ‘ Mom is at a 5. Can we please calm down and get into bed. ‘

This lets the kids know that your frustration is mounting so that perhaps they can tweak their behaviors to prevent the eruption of Mt. Mom.

#4 – Take a deep breath:

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler on the highway, notice what you are doing. Chances are you are holding your breath. And gripping the steering wheel very tightly. It ‘ s tension-filled; in those few seconds, you inch past them. And your body reacts.

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler, take a deep breath. You will immediately feel yourself relaxing, your hands unclenching. You will get by that truck without missing a beat.

Take the above action and apply it too chaotic times. Take a deep breath. Repeat as necessary. It is sure to calm you down.

#5 – Visualize what is next:

One of the best ways to get through a chaotic situation is to visualize the prize at the end of the chaos. Bedtime is no exception.

Good things wait for you on the other side when the bedtime routine is over. Time with your spouse. Another episode of “House of Cards.” A bath. Looking in on your beautiful sleeping children. YOUR BED.

As your frustration grows, picture what is on the other side. And know that if you stay calm, the chaos will probably subside quicker, and you will get to your prize.

So there are 5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable.

Our lives are chaotic, jam-packed, and crazy. And chances are they aren ‘ t going to change until your kids go off to college and you are left alone in an empty house (but that is a whole ‘ ˜nother topic).

Learning to manage the chaos with your hair and sanity intact is the best way to get through it. And you can do it. Think of all of the chaotic things you have survived already. This is just one more. You CAN DO IT.

Looking for more coping tips to get through your crazy life? I can help. Contact me now, and we can get you started down the path to living the life of your dreams.

Understanding the 5 Love Languages In 2025

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The 5 Love Languages, as introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” are the different ways people prefer to give and receive love.

These Love Languages include Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts.

Love is the foundation of any relationship but is not always expressed similarly. Each individual has a unique way of expressing and receiving love, which can often lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications in a relationship.

This is where the concept of the 5 Love Languages comes into play.

We might feel loved when we get a piece of jewelry as an expression of affection, but our partner might feel loved by spending a full day together, just the two of you. We might feel loved when we get a hug, but our partner might feel loved if we take out the trash.

Understanding 5 love languages:

The key is learning what your partner needs to feel loved. Your partner will truly feel loved when you learn what that is and express your love using those actions.

Now let me explain each Love Language and the ways to understand them.

#1 – Quality Time:

Quality Time refers to spending time with your partner without distractions or interruptions. It is not about the quantity of time spent together but rather the quality of that time. Quality Time activities include walking, having dinner together, or watching a movie.

Nothing says ‘ I love you ‘ like full, undivided attention. Being there for this person is critical, but being there ‘ ”with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby ‘ ”makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Whether it is spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

#2 – Words of Affirmation:

Actions don ‘ t always speak louder than words. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you if this is your love language. Hearing ‘ I love you ‘ is important ‘ ” hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

To show love through Words of Affirmation, try giving compliments, expressing gratitude, or leaving notes for your partner. These small gestures can go a long way in making them feel loved and valued.

#3 – Physical Touch:

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm ‘ ”they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

To show love through Physical Touch, try hugging your partner, holding hands, or kissing them. These small gestures can create deep intimacy and connection between partners.

#4 – Acts of Service:

Can helping with homework be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an ‘ Acts of Service ‘ person will speak volumes. He or she most wants to hear the words: ‘ Let me do that for you. ‘ Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don ‘ t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

#5 – Receiving Gifts:

Don ‘ t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, cared for, and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous ‘ ”so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols of someone else’s love and affection for you.

So now you are familiar with the 5 Love Languages. What to do next?

Go to Gary Chapman ‘ s website, www.5lovelanguages.com, and, along with your partner, take the assessment. You will learn which of the love languages are yours, and your partner will learn which are theirs.

Once you both know each others ‘ love languages, you can stop stabbing blindly in the dark and tell your partner you love them in a language they will understand.

The result? Loving and being loved. One of the keys to happiness and an essential part of living the life of your dreams.

Want more ideas about how to connect with your partner? I can help! Contact me now, and let ‘ s get you started on the path to the relationship of your dreams.

How To Make A Career Change – 5 Tips to Make IT Happen

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You know that you want a career change. You have known it for a long time, but the prospect of doing it is daunting.

There are so many ifs and buts about switching jobs; getting started is the hardest. Where will I go? Will I have to take less money? Will anyone even hire me?

And then you think, ‘ Maybe I should just stay in the job I have now. ‘

No! To move to a new job or career, you must start initially.

How To Make A Career Change (5 Tips):

Are you feeling stuck in your current career? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different job or industry?

Making a career change can be daunting, but it can also lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Here are five ways to make a successful career change.

#1 – Do Your Research:

This is the most important place to start. Doing your research is essential to getting yourself going. So many of us get stuck in the same old job because we don’t know our options.

See what jobs are out there that you might be interested in, whether in your or another industry.

See what jobs are in alignment with your skillset. You have many skills that you have acquired over the years, which could be useful in various industries.

Research the industries you are interested in, even if it ‘ s the ones you already work in. Things change so quickly these days, and staying up to date is important if you are putting yourself out there.

Information is power, especially when it comes to a job search.

#2 – Update Your Resume And Your Cover Letter:

This is very important. Whether you have been in the same job for 3 years or 30, an updated resume and cover letter are essential. And using the correct format is essential.

Resumes and cover letters these days are no longer read by potential employers but rather scanned. There are so many job applicants that all potential employers have time to do.

Make your resume and cover letter succinct and to the point, very clearly highlighting your skills and experience. Use dot whacks, not full sentences, for easy scanning. Put your most relevant skills near the top of your resume as many employers don ‘ t get more than a quarter down the page before they move on.

Never, ever, ever indicate anywhere that you lack skills. You might be, but you don ‘ t need to tell your potential employer before it is necessary, if ever.

#3 – Apply, Apply, Apply:

Once you have your resume up to date, start applying.

There are a variety of sites where jobs are posted. Locate the ones in your industry and check them daily. The same with companies that you are interested in working for. They post their jobs in the human resources section of their websites. Checking them regularly will ensure you don ‘ t miss out on any opportunities.

Don ‘ t hold back. Apply for any jobs that interest you. There are so many job applicants these days that it might take some time before you get a callback. Or not, because your resume is awesome!

Another important thing to do is reach out to your contacts. The best way to get an interview is through a personal recommendation. So use those contacts. That ‘ s what they are there for.

#4 – Brush Up On Your Interview Skills:

How long has it been since you have had a job interview? A year? 10 years? Interviewing can be like riding a bike in that you remember how to even if you haven ‘ t for a while, but practicing will make sure you don ‘ t fall off.

When you land an interview, take a few minutes and consider some questions they might ask you. Think about what you might answer and practice speaking those answers out loud. Work with a friend or with your mirror. But do it! Practice ‘ ¦

#5 – Don ‘ t Give Up:

Again, like #1, this is key.

Applying for a job can be frustrating and disheartening. So many people are out there applying for jobs, and it can be hard to stand up and be noticed.

But you will be. Put your best self out there as often as possible, and you will be discovered and allowed to shine.

Don ‘ t give up until you get the job of your dreams.

No one should be stuck in a job that they have outgrown. Don ‘ t let indecision and the unknown keep you from seeking a new job.

Wrapping Up!

Making a career change can be daunting, but the right approach can lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Assess your current career, acquire new skills and education, network and build connections, create a strong resume and cover letter, and be open and adaptable to new opportunities.

Take the first step toward your desired career today!

Looking for more ways to successfully change your career? Contact me now, and I can help!

5 Ways to Protect Your Kids During This Crazy Presidential Campaign

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The presidential race of 2016 is like none other. The people are demanding change and with change comes lots of messiness. In this case the messiness involves lots of lying, suspicion, bigotry and name calling.

Many of us adults are completely obsessed with the whole thing, constantly checking the news and reading and re-reading what the candidates are saying. This is okay because we are adults but having the kids too involved with the messiness can be damaging.

I am here to tell you that there are ways to limit the negative effects that a difficult campaign can have on kids.

#1 – Protect your younger kids from anger and hatred.

One of the most remarkable things about this election is the anger flying everywhere. Americans are angry and the candidates are responding with their own anger, some targeting other Americans.

With younger kids it is important that you limit their exposure to vitriol. Young kids are sponges and will absorb any information they are exposed too, some of it good, a lot of it damaging.

So turn off the TV when the kids are in the room. Don ‘ t play videos of the candidates speaking where the kids can overhear. Don ‘ t leave magazines and newspapers with explosive headlines lying around.

It ‘ s summertime. Leave the media behind and get your kids outside.

#2 – Talk about the campaign with your older kids.

Your older kids will be exposed to many, many different perspectives on this election because of social media. Not everything they read will be accurate. Not everything they read will be true. Not everything they read will align with the values you have tried to teach them over the years.

Talk about the election with your kids. Let them ask questions and try to answer them thoughtfully to clarify what they may or may not have heard. And share with them your perspective on what is being said, trying to be as non-partisan as possible.

#3 – Don ‘ t expect your kids to toe the party line with you.

You know what I am talking about. You see little kids attending rallies with their parents, wearing the candidates’ T-shirts. They stand with their parents and mimic everything their parents say, even if they have no idea what their words mean.

Keep your kids out of your politics until they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want and believe. Keep your children innocent for a bit longer because they will have plenty of time to suffer through this themselves when they are older.

#4 – Use this election as an opportunity to educate.

One of the greatest things about America is that it was born from a revolutionary spirit. America objected to how it was being treated by the British, and it revolted and prevailed. As a result, a new nation was born, one based on liberty and equality.

America is going through such a revolution now. The people are protesting against the status quo, the way that our government is using its power to achieve stasis instead of growth. Our country is drowning in partisan politics, and people have had enough.

Talk to your kids about all of this, how great America is and can be, and how we need to recognize our failures, celebrate our victories, and move forward together positively.

#5 – Get yourself away from it all.

I know plenty of people so preoccupied with the election that it is taking over their lives. They are obsessed with what they read and see and spend countless hours arguing with anyone who wants to argue about what the candidates are bringing to the table.

This makes people very, very crabby. And this crabbiness can spill over into your relationships with your kids.

So get away from it regularly. Binge-watch your favorite show read a book, or take your kids for ice cream. Give yourself a break from it all. Take a deep breath and smell the roses.

Set a good example.

We have 5 months left in this campaign. A lot of negative things are going to be said. A lot of name-callings will be done. A lot of promises will be made that might not be kept.

Negativity, name-calling, and lying are all things that we have taught our kids not to do. It is essential that we, as grown-ups, limit their exposure and educate our children so that they can grow up to be the reasonable, thoughtful people we want them to be!

Has this blog made you pause and go, hmmm? I have lots more to share, things that will help you live the life of your dreams. Contact me now and see how.

5 Ways For Moms To Enjoy Their Summer In 2023

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Summertime. The weather is warmer; the grass is growing, and the flowers bloom. It ‘ s a time for everyone to get outside, smell the fresh air, to enjoy life after the past 7 months of school and cold weather.

And yet, the prospect of summer fills many moms with a sense of dread. What exactly to do with your wonderful, but usually in school, kids all day, every day?

I am here to tell you that not only can you survive the summer, but you can truly enjoy it!

# 1 – Schedule SOME Time For Your Kids To Go Camping:

Summertime should include some summer camp. It can be any summer camp – a science camp at the local elementary school, an art camp at the Y, a week away at a camp on a lake in Maine. What is the right kind of camp for your kid?

Modern-day children have so much scheduled time that the sudden onslaught of free time when school gets out can be overwhelming. So schedule them some camp.

The key word here is SOME camp. Kids must have downtime for proper development. They need time to entertain themselves, to be dreamy or adventurous, or whatever makes their hearts sing.

So schedule them SOME camp but also schedule them some free time. One of my clients has her kids go camping every other week in June and July, leaving much of August free for downtime and family activity.

#2 – Let Yourself off The Hook:

You have a TON to do. A TON. Every day is packed with chores, errands, and work, and having the kids underfoot all summer makes those things difficult to accomplish.

So let yourself off the hook. Choose some chores and errands that can be let go this summer, like keeping the house clean or being involved in family dinners. Tidy up when you have some downtime and get the kids to help; for dinners, use your grill! Grill some meat or fish, make a salad, pop some veggies in the steamer, and you are done.

Of course, some things can ‘ t be put off. Schedule some time every day, or every other day, to get these things done. Choose a time you know will work for you: first thing in the morning when everyone is slow to rise, after lunch when people are lazing, and after dinner when the kids are running around with the neighbors.

Pick a time, put it on your calendar, and finish those things!

And don ‘ t forget that your kids can HELP with these things. Your child can do the dishes or the laundry or clean their rooms. And the kids can go on errands with you and learn a thing or two about how the world works. Don ‘ t be afraid to get your kids working. It ‘ s good for them.

#3 – Embrace Playing:

Remember summertime when you were a kid? Our parents didn ‘ t schedule us at all ‘ ¦we were sent outside in the morning and told to come back for lunch and not a moment earlier. And remember how much fun you had?

So it ‘ s summer! Do some things with your kids that you love to do. Go to the beach, hike in the woods, take out the canoe, go to the park, and climb a tree. Get dirty and sweaty. Play!

#4 – Do Something That You Like To Do:

As I have said in earlier blogs, it is essential for your mental health to do something for yourself as often as possible. Putting everyone else ‘ s needs ahead of your own is exhausting and life-sucking. Yes, hopefully, you will let things go this summer and play with your kids, but still, you will be very tired at the end of every day.

So schedule something that you love to do. Take a yoga class, volunteer at the local hospital, go on a date with your partner. Whatever it is that takes you out of your life as a mother and reminds you about the woman that you are.

#5 – Eat A Lot of Ice Cream:

Come on! It ‘ s summer. And if there was ever a time to eat ice cream, this is it.

Keep a box of popsicles in the freezer, all different flavors. Make a regular trip to the local ice cream spot and try a different flavor each time. Maybe even have a sundae.

There is a television ad about a room full of children who are bouncing off the walls, having a great time. In the next scene, there is silence ‘ ¦because everyone is eating ice cream. Ice cream is one of those foods that makes everyone happy. So indulge.

These tips work for both stay-at-home and working mothers. Working mothers have the extra challenge of keeping the kids occupied during their workday, but by applying some of the principles above, you too can enjoy your summer and not let it go by without stopping to smell the roses.

And how have you read my blog? GO OUTSIDE and start enjoying your summer.

Need more ideas about living the life of your dreams? Contact me now, and we can get started!

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