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7 Reasons Donald Trump & Every Man Wishes He Held the Woman Card

April 29, 2016/2 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann
A woman holding a baseball bat over a dead man.


By now you have heard, I am sure, that according to Donald Trump the only reason that Hillary Clinton is being taken seriously is because she ‘ has the woman card. ‘ The interweb has, of course, gone nutty over this but what has surprised me is that women are shouting about all of the things that we women DON ‘ T have because we are holding the ‘ woman card, ‘ not all of the things that we DO have.

Here are 7 reasons why I believe that holding the woman card is a good thing, full of benefits that men just wish they had.

#1 – With the woman card we are powerful.

Say what you want but a man will do ANYTHING to win the woman he wants. ANYTHING. A man wanting a woman started the Trojan War, forced a king to abdicate his throne and has brought down more American politicians than I can count.

#2 – With the woman card we are capable of being pregnant and giving birth.

We propagate the species. Enough said.

#3 – With the woman card we can ask for directions and choose a parking space…

…freeing up innumerable hours in a lifetime to pursue other pleasures.

#4 – With the woman card are skilled in the art of faking ‘ it, ‘

…simultaneously making a man feel special and speeding up the process so that we can get some sleep. AND we can have multiple ‘ it ‘ without, um, recharging.

# 5 – With the woman card we can do many things that are deemed difficult or even impossible.

Like peeing standing up. Or giving birth without drugs. Or Thanksgiving dinner for 12.

#6 – With the woman card we can do many things at the same time.

We could even do #2-5 above without breaking a sweat and still have #1 be our reality.

# 7 – With the woman card we live longer.

We live longer. What man doesn ‘ t want that? The ultimate frequent ‘ woman card ‘ user reward ‘ ¦.

So. All you women out there. Remember. We rock. Don’t let anyone try to take your power or make you think less of yourself. Hold your head high, go for what you want and wield that woman card proudly.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

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Tags: abdicate, donald trump, king, live longer, orgasms, pregnancy, propigate, thanksgiving dinner, war, woman card
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2 replies
  1. Kenn
    Kenn says:
    April 30, 2016 at 1:40 am

    The best multi-tasking I can do is chew gum and pick my nose at the same time. Women do have a card us men can’t use. You’re breaking the 5 mold 😉

  2. Mary Franz
    Mary Franz says:
    May 3, 2016 at 8:31 am

    Clever, provocative article Mitzi. I enjoyed your candor, as always, and the message to all women about recognizing, celebrating and using our power.

    ONLY the woman card Mr. Trump? Mitzi is right…now, #4…faking it…certainly expedient, yet an opportunity to be creative and find new ways to give & take what is needed…where all egos are intact…and integrity rules…just saying.

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