There is nothing worse than the empty space that is left after a break up.
For weeks, months, or years, you have had someone in your life, someone who shared the good times and the bad, someone who you went to the movies with, went out to dinner with, took home for holidays, etc.
That person, and the things that you did together, is now gone, leaving a wide open space that needs to be filled. Leaving it empty can be incredibly uncomfortable and cause a tremendous amount of pain.
So, what can you do to fill the empty space left after a break up? Let me help…
#1 – Spend time with people who love you.
There’s nothing better to fill the empty space left after a break up then spending time with people who love you.
For many of us, when we are in a relationship, we fill all of our empty space with our person. But, remember, there was a time when you didn’t have this person in your life. Who was your favorite person to hang out with before your ex? Who made you laugh? Who was your partner in crime? Who always made you feel loved?
Pick up the phone and call that person right now! Make a plan with them to do something that you used to do that made you happy.
The lesson here is that there are many people in your life who you love and who can fill that space for you, maybe even better than your ex could!
#2 – Get a change in scenery.
I know for one of my clients, the first thing she does at the end of a relationship is to make a plan to get away from her everyday life.
Usually, it involves a short drive to visit a friend or a family member but sometimes she goes bigger. Once she even planned a trip to London. She had always wanted to go there and was given an opportunity to run a marathon.
Her relationship had just ended so she decided to go for it! And what happened? She kicked ass in the marathon and she met a lovely British man who helped her manage her broken heart.
So, if you need to fill that empty space left after your break up, I would encourage you to change the scenery.
Where would you go for a change? Even if it’s just going to a friend’s house for the night, or going to visit your parents or jumping on a train and going to see an old friend or booking a flight to the Caribbean, whatever you can do to get out of the space that you occupied with your ex, ASAP.
Doing something different, even if for a brief moment, will help you fill the empty space that is feeling so painful right now.
#3 – Rearrange things.
One of my personal favorites, of all the things that I recommend for people to do while they’re getting through a break up, is to rearrange things.
One of the reasons that there is so much empty space in your life is because your space is the same as it always has been.
Do you walk into your home and see the empty space your ex used to fill? Do you come home at the end of the day, as usual, and feel their absence?
Do you go out for your regular Wednesday night Thai food and does it only make you feel lonely because you used to do it together?
Well then, it’s time to shake things up.
When a client of mine went through her divorce, she decided that she was going to totally rearrange her space. She was in a lot of pain at the end of her marriage and she wanted to do something different.
So, she swapped her bedroom and her living room. She moved her bedroom into the space with the fireplace and decorated it with all the things that she loved the most. She purchased new furniture for her living room and created a space for herself to spend time knitting and watching TV.
Whenever she went to bed at the end of the night, she didn’t do so with the ghost of her ex-husband next to her. It was almost like she had moved to a whole new house and that empty space did not feel so empty.
So, try changing up your space. It might give you a whole new lease on life.
#4 – Try something new.
A client of mine recently went through a terrible break up. She was blindsided and left broken and empty.
This is not the first time has happened to her. Like all of us, as she goes through the dating world, she has gotten her heart broken more than once.
Typically, what she does when she’s heartbroken is she stays at home, feeling sorry for herself, googling articles to justify how she feels about how her ex behaved, eating ice cream, and generally feeling sorry for yourself.
She decided to do things differently this time. After spending the weekend with her mother, crying and getting love, she drove directly to a music store and bought herself a violin.
When she was younger, she played the violin. She was really good at it and it made her really happy. When she went off to college and started her career, the violin fell to the side. She wanted to bring it back.
So, she bought the violin and filled those empty spaces with the instrument that had always brought her such joy. She was able to re-familiarize herself with how to play and she was able to build her skill and and find true joy. It was far better for her than sitting in front of her computer, reading things that were making her depressed and eating food that was bad for her.
So, is there something that you have always wanted to do or something from your childhood that you could start doing again that would make you feel good?
I encourage you to think about this and to take the steps that you can take to try something new, something that you never shared with your ex, so that you get to know yourself again and not see yourself only as part of a pair.
#5 – Take my course!
I have created a course, 4 Weeks to Letting Go of Love and Moving On, that I created especially to fill the void that has been left after a break up.
When we are left with empty space after a relationship ends, we are often left helpless and hopeless about what to do next. That empty space can be very debilitating.
In my course, you will find daily activities, things that you can do to help you fill that empty space in a healthy way so that you can move forward with your life.
The course is broken up into 4 weeks. The first week is about letting go of the pain. The second week is about rebuilding your self-esteem. The third week is about preparing to put yourself out there, either to date or just to live. And week four is about taking action with the goals you set.
This course is just the thing that you need to fill the empty space left after your break up, to rebuild your self-esteem, to get past the pain and to move on with your life.
Check it out here. It might just change your life.
Filling the empty space that is caused by a break up is an important part of getting through the pain and to come out the other side.
If you sit around at home, feeling sorry for yourself and not making any efforts to fill the space, you will never get past this break up.
I encourage you to get off the couch right now, to spend time with people who love you, to plan an excursion, to rearrange stuff in your life, to try something new, and to check out my new course.
I can promise you that, with time, this empty space will be completely filled with life and love. For now, take steps to deal with it so that you can heal and move forward!
You can do it!