Have you recently been thinking that perhaps your guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship?
Did you go into this relationship with big hopes and dreams but are you seeing that your guy might not be on the same page?
When many of us start to think that our guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship, we tend to ignore all the signs. We convince ourselves that our person does want to be with us and that we can keep them if we can just show them how much we love them.
Unfortunately, that never works.
It is very important that you don’t ignore the red flags that indicate that your guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
You will waste a lot of time if you do.
Here are 5 signs that your guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship to not ignore so that you can get the life, and love, that you want!
#1 – He disappears.
One thing I can tell you for certain is that if a guy wants to be in a relationship, he will want to spend as much time with you as possible.
If your guy disappears, if he doesn’t return your texts or your calls, if he makes excuses to not be with you, then your guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
A client of mine started having sex with an old friend. He told her over and over and over that if he was going to be in a relationship, she’s the one he would want to be in one with. She took that to believe that they were working towards building a relationship together because she really wanted one.
But what he was doing was talking the talk but not walking the walk. He would constantly be making excuses about why he couldn’t come over to see her. He was in recovery and constantly told her that he was working with people at his recovery center, even when he had promised her that he would be with her. He would say that he was coming over later and then wouldn’t show. When he did show up, he let her take care of him but did nothing in return.
My client got increasingly upset. She knew deep down that he didn’t want a relationship but she just couldn’t accept it. Instead of doing so, she just dug herself in deeper, believing that if she just held on, he would change his mind.
It finally took her having a total breakdown, and for him to be direct about his not wanting to have a relationship with her, for her to see that she was wasting her time.
She walked away. It was hard for her to do so and it took a while but finally she did.
She has now met the love of her life and she’s getting married in October.
#2 – He only wants to stay home.
A guy who wants to be in a relationship really likes to show off his woman. He is actually eager to get out there and share with the world that this is the person he has chosen, and who chose him!
If your person has taken to only wanting to stay home, to watch movies, to eat dinner and to go to sleep early, then it’s very possible that he does not want to be in a relationship.
By staying home with you, where he can be taken care of and have sex, your guy is able to maintain a semblance of a relationship to keep you happy without actually being in one.
So, if your guy no longer wants to take you out, to introduce you to his friends or his family, then it’s very possible that he does not want a relationship.
If you’re seeing this, consider walking away. NOW!
#3 – You are feeling insecure.
From many of us, when red flags present themselves, we ignore them.
If we think our person is pulling away, instead of taking note and walking away from them, we tend to lean in even more. We are nicer, we take care of them, we go out of our way to be available for them, we give them more sex, we do whatever we can do, believing that if we just love them enough they will want to be in a relationship with us.
I know that when my ex-husband told me he wanted to divorce, I went out of my way to be the best wife that I could be. I would dress up for him when he got home at the end of the day. I had way more sex with him than I usually did. I tried to be kind and direct and open. He had told me he wanted a divorce, but I didn’t want to believe him. I just believed that if I gave him enough, he would stay.
All of this left me feeling horrible about myself. I knew that I was giving more than I was receiving and that I was debasing myself by doing so. As time went on, it got worse and worse until finally, I left, feeling like a shell of myself.
So, if your person is making you feel insecure, then it’s definitely a sign that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
#4 – He doesn’t make you a priority.
Be honest. Is your guy your number one priority? Do you put him above your friends, above your dog, above your family, above your work? (well, maybe not above your dog)
Of course, you do. He is the person you love.
But, let me ask you, does he do the same thing? Are you the most important thing in his life and does he regularly show you?
Think hard on this, because it’s very important.
It is essential that, for two people to be in a healthy relationship, they make each other a priority. That they make an effort to put their relationship above all things, sometimes even above the kids.
Relationships are very hard and without constant effort, they can fall apart.
If your guy puts you after softball, work, friends, golf, etc., then he definitely does not want to be in a relationship.
People who want to be in a relationship act like they want to be in a relationship.
#5 – He tells you.
Has your guy told you, maybe over and over and over, that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?
In spite of him saying this, does he keep coming and going, hanging out with you, having sex with you, letting you take care of him?
And are you telling yourself that you know that he really does want to be with you, because of his actions and in spite of his words? Well if you do, you are kidding yourself.
If someone tells you something directly, listen to them. If he’s telling you he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, there is no amount of love that you can give him that will make him change his mind.
So, if he is being honest and direct with you, believe him! Don’t believe that things will be different with you
I know the last thing in the world that you want to hear is it your guy doesn’t want to relationship but it’s true.
At the beginning of relationships, we have such high hopes and dreams for the future. We believe that we might finally have found our person, and this makes us supremely happy. Letting go of that can very, very hard.
If he doesn’t make you a priority, if he disappears, if he only wants to stay home and you are feeling insecure, it’s very clear that he no longer wants to be in a relationship. And what I can promise you is that, if he’s already made up his mind, there is nothing that you will be able to do to change it.
I would encourage you to walk away now! You want to find love and happiness so don’t waste even one more minute on someone who doesn’t want to be with you.
I know walking away is scary. You are afraid of the pain and you are afraid of being alone forever. But I can promise you the only way you will be alone forever is if you try to get keep this man.
You can do this I promise.