I know it might be hard to see them now, but there are many benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you back.
I know you might be madly in love with them, and be holding out a lot of hope for the future, but you loving them isn’t enough to keep your relationship together.
I know you don’t want to break up with them but, in your search for strength to do so, understanding the benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t want to be with you might really help you.
So, here are five benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you so that you can find the strength to move on.
#1 – No more thousand little cuts.
Do you find that every day you are in some kind of pain?
Perhaps your person hasn’t done what they said they were going to do or perhaps they haven’t shown up on time or perhaps they ignored your texts. Either way, no matter what they’ve done, they have caused you pain. Probably daily.
These little pains are called 1000 little cuts and they happened every day to people who are in unhealthy relationships. And while it seems like only one big cut can draw blood, truly, 1000 little cuts are worse.
Imagine waking up in the morning not struggling with the pain of yesterday. Imagine going through your day knowing you won’t be let down by someone, knowing that you won’t have to worry about that text you had hoped you would have received or being hurt by being ignored. Instead, you would be able to go about your day feeling happy, not feeling cut to pieces.
One of the major benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t want to be with you is that you will no longer suffer those little daily pains.
#2 – You will find yourself again.
For many of us, being in a relationship means that we lose sight of who we are.
Whether we dig into our partners hobbies or choose to spend all our time with them because we love them so much or perhaps they hold onto us in a way that changes us, losing ourselves in a relationship can, and does, happen.
One of the benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you is that you will be able to find yourself again. You will be able to use your time doing the things that you want to do, hanging out with the people who you want to hang out with and finding that joy in just who you are.
I know that when I got divorced, one of the things that I set out to do was to do things that I was never been comfortable doing during my marriage.
Over the course of 18 years, I found that I had really fallen into the pattern of doing the things that my husband wanted to do and lost track of the things that I wanted to do.
So, what did I do? I learned how to ride a JetSki, I moved to New York City by myself, I learned how do use a drill and could fix almost anything by myself.
All of those things made me realize again that I was my own person, someone who I could be proud to be.
#3 – You will have hope for the future.
Be honest. Does this relationship make you feel full of anxiety and overall hopeless? Does the future look bleak to you right now? Do you think you might never be happy again? Do you wish things could go back to the way they were at the beginning because where they are right now it’s just not okay?
If you are feeling any of these things, then you are struggling with hopelessness. And hopelessness is not a part of a happy life and it certainly isn’t part of a happy relationship.
While I know it might be painful to break up with your person, imagine how great it would feel to look to the future with hope. To look to the future as a time not full of tiny little cuts and not full of dread about what your day is going to look like but one that’s full of love and happiness and self-respect.
So, know that, one of the benefits of breaking up with someone you love is that you can finally have hope for the future in a way you might not have had for a long time.
#4 – You can apply what you have learned.
From many of my clients, they are struggling so much with having to end a relationship that they have a hard time seeing the benefits of doing so. One of the biggest benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you is that you get to gather up all the lessons you have learned into your romantic toolbox and use those things in a new relationship.
I know that there are many things that I did wrong in my marriage. I took my husband for granted. I treated him with contempt, I didn’t spend time with him and I didn’t tell him how unhappy I was.
When I got into my new relationship, my very happy relationship, I made sure to not make the same mistakes as I made before. To tell him how I was feeling, to tell him when he lets me down, to ask for what I want and not hope that he’ll just be able to guess.
As a result, because I let go of somebody who didn’t love me, I took my tools and moved forward into a new love, and I was able to find the love that I had been looking for.
#5 – You will find happiness and love.
Many of my clients tell me that they are worried that if they break up with someone they will never love and be loved again. What I tell them is that the only way that you will never love and be loved again is if you stay in a relationship that’s making you feel bad about yourself.
Only by letting go of this love, releasing memories of the past and holding up hope for the future, will you be able to find the happiness and love that you truly want and desire.
Every moment that you spend in this relationship, compromising yourself, struggling through the thousand little cuts, is a day wasted finding the love that you still want.
So, take the steps necessary to walk away from someone who doesn’t love you and move forward to find the happiness and love that you want.
Understanding the benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you is the best way to get what you want.
I know the idea of breaking up with someone is incredibly painful and I applaud you for even considering it if you are unhappy. But know that, going through the pain of letting go of someone, can only bring you love and happiness in the end.
Again, I know it doesn’t feel that way to do today but I can promise you, from personal experience, that it will happen, you can have a life and love full of hope.
I have created a course that helps people get over a broken heart and rebuild their life, 4 Weeks to Letting Go of Love and Moving On. You might find it helpful! www.letyourdreamsbegin.thinkific.com.