Good for you for wanting to make your woman feel loved every day.
Relationships are complicated. No one wants them to fall apart. No one wants anyone to be hurt. Everyone just wants love and happiness and happily ever after.
You can do your part to make that happen. Knowing how to make your woman feel loved every day is an excellent first (or seven) steps to doing so!
#1 – Make time.
I know, I know. Life is busy. There is work and friends and sports and mothers and kids and pets and chores and they all take up a lot of time.
That being said, while all of those things are important, the most important thing is right in front of you – your woman. Imagine if you didn’t have her. What would you do then?
When your golf game needs some work, you practice more often. If a project at work is particularly challenging, you stay late to get it done right. So, how come so many men don’t put the time into their relationship to keep it a happy one?
Spending time with your woman doesn’t mean not paying attention to the other things in your life but it does mean making her a priority.
I have a client who plays golf every weekend, with his wife’s permission. When he reached out to me he was feeling some distance from her and he wasn’t sure why. I suggested that he not play golf one Saturday a month and make that a Saturday just for them.
What happened? His wife was thrilled to spend more time with him and she felt special because she knew that he was giving up time doing something he loved for her. Her distance immediately disappeared and they have a lot of fun on those Saturdays.
So, if you can make her your priority, you will make your woman feel loved everyday.
#2 – Don’t be scared of her emotions.
I have a client who is married with 4 sons. Their house is always chaotic and it can wear on everyone’s nerves.
My client’s wife is prone to depression and often, when things, big or little, go wrong, she bursts into tears and takes to her bed.
I know, because I am a woman, that she wants to be followed to her bedroom and be comforted.
What does my client, and his boys, do? They run for the hills. They tip toe around the house, silent so as not to disturb her. They pretend like everything is ok. They do everything that they can think of doing except for following their wife/mother upstairs to help her process her emotions.
As a result, nothing gets settled and the men are all held captive by her emotions.
I know that your woman’s tears are a scary thing – even a confounding thing – but if you try to not be scared of them and offer to help her process them, you will make her feel loved every day.
#3 – Do what you say you are going to do.
Are you one of those people who doesn’t always do what you say you are going to do? Your intentions are good but things get in the way of you being able to follow through.
Do you tell your girl that you will be home at 6, even if you aren’t going to be home until 8, because you don’t want to make her mad? Or that you will go pick out the windows for the house renovation, even though chances are good that you will have to work? Or do you fully intend to stop at the grocery store on the way home but you just forget?
People don’t follow through for a variety reasons. Very few of them are because we don’t love someone. We do it to prevent our person from feeling hurt or let down or we are human and forget. But we don’t do it because we don’t love our person enough.
Unfortunately, people tend to personalize that someone doesn’t do something for them. ‘If you loved me you would have done this’ is the phrase people hear when they haven’t followed through
So, if you aren’t good at following through, regardless of the reason, you definitely won’t make your woman feel loved every day. Instead, you will make them feel unimportant and unloved.
Make sure you do what you say you are going to do. Allow your woman to feel confident that she can rely on you to always be there for her. And make her feel safe.
#4 – Talk and listen.
Have you ever thought to yourself ‘I don’t need to tell her how I feel about her – she knows’
Do you take out the garbage faithfully, assuming that by doing so your girlfriend will know you love her?
If the answer to either question is YES then you are wrong!
Telling your woman how you feel about her is a key component in making her feel loved every day. She might have a sense of how you feel but to actually hear the words come out of your mouth let’s her know that you have her back. That you care about her enough to tell her and that she knows that she can count on you to be there for her.
Also, another way for you to make a woman feel loved every day is for her to know that you are listening to her.
That when she talks you are paying attention and understanding what she is saying and feeling.
While you might be inclined to think that you need to ‘fix’ her to make her feel loved, in reality all she wants you to do is to listen and let her know that you are there for her.
So, next time your girl opens up to you, sit down and pay attention. Hold her hand, empathize with her feelings and confirm for her that you hear her, that you are there and that you always will be.
#5 – Be a man.
I know. I know. In this day and age men and women are equal. And my 26 year old daughter will kill me for saying this but the truth of the matter is that men can make women feel loved by just acting like a man.
Men are genetically programmed to be protectors. The survival of the species depended on men protecting their women and children from predators. That instinct is not gone in this 21stcentury world.
I am not saying that you need to brandish your club and knock down anyone who messes with your girl but make sure that she knows that you are there for her, to reach the things that she can’t reach, to carry that load that is just too much for her, to hold the door open when her hands are full and to get rid of that dead mouse carcass the cat dragged in.
Tap into your inner caveman, without letting him take you over completely, and to help your woman feel loved.
#6 – Tell the truth. Always.
The number one most important thing to do to make your girlfriend feel loved is to be honest.
I said above that it is important that you always do what you say you are going to do but it is more than that.
For a woman to feel loved, she needs to feel trust. And if you can’t be honest with her she can never trust you.
So, if you can’t get home for dinner, tell her. If you need to see your mother instead of going out with her friends, don’t make an excuse. Tell her the truth. If you ran up the credit card debt or forgot to give the kids a bath or need some time on your own, be direct and up front. Tell her the truth, right away.
Let her know that she can rely on you to be honest and if you do she will feel loved.
#7 – Love her as she wants to be loved.
I truly believe that one of the best tools in a successful relationship is Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages.
He posits on his website and his book his theory that there are five love languages, five ways that people express and receive love.
The languages are: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Giving of Gifts.
For each person one of those things is the thing that makes them feel the most loved when they are done unto them. When a partner tries to love them using a different love language they don’t feel loved.
My love language is Quality Time – I feel loved when someone is truly present with me, listening to me, focusing on me. My ex-husbands’ love language was Physical Touch – he felt love when I was holding his hand, hugging him or, yep, that too.
Unfortunately, the language that we spoke best with each other was Acts of Service – we did things for each other, like changing the oil in the car or going to the grocery store. Stuff got done but neither of us felt loved.
Check out the 5 Love Language at www.5lovelanguages.com. There you will find a short quiz that you and your partner can both take and you can start loving each other in a way that will work.
Learning how to make your woman feel loved every day is an admirable goal.
It is the ultimate act of love to want to care of that special person in your life and good for you for wanting to take on the task.
I know that all of this might seem daunting but I can promise you that, with a little bit of practice, you can do these things and they will your woman feel loved and happy!
After all, as we all know, a happy woman means a happy household!