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Tag Archive for: breathing

5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win

November 3, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


You know how sometimes it just hits you? You have so much going on in your life that you aren ‘ t sleeping at all. Your work is suffering, your relationships are fraught with tension, bills are going unpaid, and you have eaten an entire box of Oreos every night this week.

And then one more thing gets piled on top, and that ‘ s it. The camel’s back is broken. Your heart starts racing, your brain fills with cotton, you get dizzy, and you can ‘ t breathe. You are officially overwhelmed.

Being overwhelmed makes you feel literally paralyzed. It prevents you from moving forward in any meaningful way. It prevents you from moving forward at all. You are simply there, in a vortex, circling the drain. Not good.

I know it doesn’t feel that way, but there are definitely ways to survive it. One step at a time.

The first step – is awareness. Always key. Know what it is you are feeling – overwhelm. Once you know what it is, you can proceed.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win.

#1 – Breathe

When we are stressed out, we hold our breath. There is a physiological reason we hold our breath: increased tension in the muscles responsible for breathing. These include the thoracic diaphragm and some of the abdominal, chest, neck and shoulder muscles. When we are stressed, these muscles contract, and breathing stops. Not ideal.

The manner in which we breathe influences our entire being: our mental-emotional states, the nervous system, hormonal balance, muscular tension, and all the functions of body and mind. When we hold our breath our overwhelm will only get worse, not better.

When you are overwhelmed, remember to breathe. Sit up straight and wear clothes that don ‘ t restrict your abdomen (or loosen those jeans). Breathe deeply in, through your nose, for 3 seconds, pulling air down into your diaphragm. Exhale through your nose for 5 seconds. Repeat this series for 5 minutes.

You will start to feel better right away. Physiology declares it be so.

#2 – Walk Away

When you are sitting at your desk, paralyzed and completely overwhelmed by all that is on your plate, it is time to get up and move around.

In addition to breathing, clearing your head is an essential way to beat overwhelmed. Just sitting there staring at all of your stuff, or replaying all sorts of negative tapes in your head, will get you nowhere.

So go for a walk around the block or around the cubicles in the office. Go up and down a few flights of stairs. Do some stretches. Walk over to someone ‘ s desk or house, and have a quick chat. Give your partner a long hug. Have a good laugh. Anything that will get your mind off of your stuff, even for a few minutes.

Sometimes just a little break can make all of the difference.

#3 – Eat a Good Meal

Remember the aforementioned Oreos? Yes, they are yummy going down, but nutritionally, they do you no good at all.

What you need when you are overwhelmed is a good dose of protein, some carbs, and a few healthy fats.

In the short term, a good meal will help your brain work better, help keep your breathing and your heart rate moderate and allow you to get past the overwhelm.

In the long term, your body will be stronger because you feed it healthy food. And when you are stronger, you can better prevent overwhelm from happening in the first place.

Try a turkey sandwich on toasted rye bread with some Swiss cheese and cole slaw. If you don’t have time to sit down, feast on some mixed nuts (walnuts, cashews, and almonds) and an apple. Add water. Or try a smoothie with coconut milk, flax, and chia seeds, an avocado, and some berries. Truly yummy.

#4 – Take a Nap

Yeah, right, you say. A nap! Ha. You have WAY too much to do to take a nap.

Taking a nap can change everything. It will help your brain quiet for a bit, restore your body and enable you to think more clearly to get through this tough time.

It doesn ‘ t have to be a long nap. Close your shades and pull a blanket over your fully clothed self and set the alarm for 30 minutes. That will give you 10 minutes to fall asleep and 20 minutes to sleep.

You will wake up refreshed and ready to plunge ahead. Really.

#5 – Make a Plan

Before you take, this step do at least one of the steps above. You need to manage your body ‘ s reaction to the overwhelm before you can take action to fix it.

One of the reasons that we get overwhelmed is that we feel we have no control over the things that are causing that overwhelm. It ‘ s time to regain some.

Sit down and make a list of everything that you have to do. Everything.

Now review that list and pick out 5 things that need to be done immediately. From that list of 5 break it down again, this time prioritizing. These are the things that you are going to do first. You will ignore the other things on the list, and I mean IGNORE, until those first things are done.

Give yourself a deadline to get each of those things done. There might be an external deadline already in place but if it ‘ s something with no deadline give yourself one. Give yourself an hour or a day but give yourself a deadline and stick to it.

When you have completed all of the items on the first list go back to your original list and add new things, if necessary. Pick out the next 5 things that need to be done immediately. Repeat the process above.

Take control of your life instead of letting your life control you, and you will beat overwhelm. I promise.

So there you go, my 5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm.

Unfortunately, overwhelm is not uncommon in this chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting modern life in which we live. Almost every one of my clients reports having it at some point, often more than once. But there are ways to beat it back and maybe even prevent it from happening at all.

So breathe, move, eat, sleep, and organize. You just might find it will change your life.

Looking for more ways to overcome overwhelm? Contact me, and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

How To Heal A Broken Heart And Move On: 5 Ways

August 3, 2016/3 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann

I remember so well my first broken heart. It was 9th grade, and Bobby Fortunato, the guy of my dreams, had just broken up with me. We had been going out for two whole weeks. My mom took pity on me and let me stay home in bed and eat jello. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Truly, there might be nothing as bad as a broken heart.

The pain, both in your heart and in your head, is almost unbearable. The end of a relationship is like a death ‘ ¦ you grieve for your loss, and you feel a huge emptiness that you are sure you will never again be able to fill.

How To Heal A Broken Heart And Move On:

Finding ways to heal and move on from this kind of pain can be challenging, but it is possible. In this section I am going to provide tips and strategies to heal a broken heart and move on, so you can start to feel more optimistic about your future.

Whether you’re going through a recent breakup or have been struggling with the aftermath for some time, this guide will offer practical advice on overcoming your heartache and starting the healing process.

#1 – Pay Attention to Your Body:

Most likely, your body is in physical pain due to psychological suffering. And the most likely center point of that pain is your stomach. The pain is sharp and relentless, making you feel like you will die.

That pain is from anxiety. Anxiety that you are less than, that you will never love again, that you will be alone, that you are unlovable. That pain comes directly from your brain, from your thoughts.

Not so helpful, right?

There are two ways to deal with that pain.

The first is to talk back to that brain of yours. Tell it that it is ridiculous. That you are amazing, that this loss will only create new opportunities, that you aren ‘ t now, nor ever will you be, alone. It ‘ s not easy, but you can do it.

The second is to remember to breathe. Big deep breaths that go down to your belly. Breathe in for 3 seconds and out for 4. This kind of breathing will calm the stress response in your body, ease your stomach pain and help clear your head. Repeat as necessary.

#2 – Manage Your Media:

This is a key element in grief management. You have music; you have video; you have social media. USE THEM. They will get you out of your head and inspire you to be powerful. I make a playlist when I am going through hard times. The songs are about empowerment, survival, about living life fully. They go on my I-phone and then get played in my car as I go about my day. And yes, I sing along. Loudly.

Movies work the same way. So many movies are about overcoming the odds, overcoming hard times, and emerging better than before. Find them. Watch them. Be inspired by them. Even cry with them (yes, crying is ok. even good. sometimes great. but don’t wallow).

Be careful of social media. Yes, it is a great tool for feeling connected and distracted, but if you tend to stalk and it causes you pain, then tread lightly. YouTube might be better than Facebook ‘ ¦or so my teenage daughter tells me.

#3 – Do Good:

Nothing feels better than helping out someone in need.

Helping out someone else while you are at your lowest feels even better, believe it or not. When you are grieving, it is easy to turn inside yourself to feel like you are in the worst place a person could be. And while where you do suck, others out there are as bad off or worse. And by helping them, you are also helping yourself.

There are plenty of ways to help out. You can help an elderly neighbor mow their lawn, volunteer at a library, and help children learn to read. Hospitals are always in need of people to help in a variety of capacities. I worked in palliative care for a while. Wow, did that give me some perspective and appreciation of the life I was living?

Pick one. Do it. See how good it makes you feel and make someone else feel better.

#4 – Get Hot:

Yes, you read that right. Get hot.

Exercise is one of the best ways to manage grief. During exercise, your body produces endorphins, and endorphins make you feel better. And, as a side benefit, exercise also gets you in shape.

Imagine having the body you have always wanted – you know what body I am talking about. Now is the time to get it. Start exercising to help manage your grief and use it to get in great shape and feel better about yourself.

And, while it ‘ s not about revenge, let your ex eat his heart out when next he sees you!

#5 – Believe, Believe, Believe:

Yes, right now, your heart is broken. You can ‘ t imagine getting through this day or the next. You know that you will never love or be loved again. Sigh.

No! You have to believe. You have to believe that your great love is out there. You are more than a little loveable, and what you are going through is only temporary. Think about what you want and work on truly believing that you will get it. And then take steps to do so.

You can do it!

And, if you are feeling hot and full of self-confidence from all that exercise and surviving your grief, imagine what that special someone will think when they first lays eyes on you. WOW! Now that ‘ s a great place for your pesky brain to go, don ‘ t you think?

Your world seems like it is over, but it ‘ s not. There are ways to survive a broken heart, even if it seems impossible.

Use my coping techniques, and not only will you get through today and tomorrow in one piece, but you will also build the strength of body and character that will ultimately help you achieve your dreams and find the love of your life.

If you ‘ ve made it this far, you must be struggling with a broken.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before your pain overwhelms you.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

I'm here to help

I am a New York City-based Certified Life Coach with 10 years experience as a working life coach. I am certified through the Coach Training Alliance and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. These people have succeeded at, among other things, restoring the love in their relationships, getting to know themselves again and finding their place in the world.

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More About breathing

  • A yellow emoticon with an expression of shock.5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win

    3 Nov 2016

  • A man is kneeling down to propose to his girlfriend.How To Heal A Broken Heart And Move On: 5 Ways

    3 Aug 2016

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