Tag Archive for: career

5 Ways to Organize Your Life as a Working Mom and Stay Ahead of the Chaos

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Would you like to organize your life as a working mom and stay not only in the game but ahead of the chaos?

It seems daunting but it is possible! And wouldn ‘ t it feel great?

Here are 5 suggestions for making it all happen.

#1 – Use a calendar and make a schedule.

The most important part of an organized life is a calendar and a schedule.

I have a client who, every Sunday night, sits down with her calendar and charts out EVERYTHING that is happening in the week ahead.

What do I mean by everything?

  • Her work schedule
  • Her kids ‘ schedule
  • Any appointments that her family might have
  • Time for herself
  • Time for her and her spouse
  • Time spent on social media
  • Anything else that might need to be accounted for

Once she makes her schedule, she underlines in RED those things that are priorities and cannot be moved.

As the week progresses she looks at her calendar daily to adjust it as necessary but if something must get moved, it gets moved immediately so that it doesn ‘ t fall off her calendar and get forgotten.

She makes her calendar, she keeps it with her, she updates it regularly and makes it the blueprint of her life.

#2 – Stick to your schedule, no matter what happens at work.

The most important part of having a calendar is sticking to it. And I know, as a working mom, that can be very hard to do.

One thing I ask my clients: what is the one thing in your life that everything else revolves around? What is that one non-negotiable thing on your calendar?

Almost without exception, my clients answer WORK. They say that because they are reporting to a boss, and getting paid for it, they will sacrifice other things that might be a part of their week if work demands dictate that they do.

Is this you? Do you choose to work instead of meeting your other obligations?

If so, consider this: can you view some other things in your week, like you time or time with your spouse, as things that are as important as work and that you will not put aside for any reason.

Can you do this in spite of the fact that you aren ‘ t getting paid and reporting to someone else?

This is the key to organizing your life as a working mom and staying ahead of the chaos. To understand that some obligations are as non-negotiable as work and that putting them to the side just can’t happen.

#3 – Plan meals ahead of time.

A HUGE part of staying organized is planning and making meals ahead of time.

I remember, when my kids were young, deciding what to make every night was the hardest part of my day. I always felt that if someone else told me what to cook, making it would be easy. It was the deciding that was hard.

I suggest making a meal plan for the whole week, including lunches, over breakfast on Sunday morning. And from that meal plan make your shopping list so that you have all of the ingredients that you need for the week.

Ideally, you then get your partner to go to the grocery store but that is negotiable!

If you plan your menus ahead of time, and do the shopping as well, you will carve out a big piece of your day, every day, to get other things done.

#4 – Get help.

It is essential for working moms to get help where they need it.

Some moms need help keeping the house clean or cooking dinner or taking the kids to appointments. So if you need it, get it! Find someone to help you clean or cook or drive.

It ‘ s really okay to not do everything yourself.

If a babysitter or a cleaning lady is not in your budget, figure out some other way to get help. Your partner and your kids are the most obvious first choices in the help department. They can all help with the cooking and the cleaning and the chauffeuring. They may complain but they CAN do it!

You can also call on your friends to support you and you can support them as well. When my kids were young, the moms all took turns after school taking the kids to various activities. Each of us committed 1 day a week to being the driver, leaving the other 4 days after school open for work or other things.

Either way, you working moms DON ‘ T have to do everything yourselves. Ask for help. You will be glad you did.

#5 – Build in time for you.

Believe it or not, this is the most important piece of how to organize your life as a working mom.

Everyone needs time for themselves. EVERYONE. Just because you are a working mom it doesn ‘ t mean that you get to sacrifice your mental health for the sake of everyone else.

As a matter of fact, doing so is not good for anyone and will definitely make it difficult to stay ahead of the chaos. Remember the old adage: ‘ A happy mom means a happy family. ‘ It ‘ s more true now than ever.

So make an effort every week to build some ‘ ˜you time ‘ into your schedule. It doesn ‘ t have to be a lot of time. A few minutes in the morning before everyone wakes up. A 20 minute walk outside at lunch time. A few minutes of social media as you wait to pick up the kids from school.

When my kids were little, 3 nights a week were nights when I took a bath. For 45 minutes I was in my bathtub with my People magazine and the door was locked and I had ‘me time’. My husband dealt with whatever had to be dealt with. That time was life changing for me. I was able to take a deep breath and then step back into my life refreshed.

I am guessing that you are eager to organize your life as a working mom. You might feel like you are constantly treading water, just keeping your head up to keep from drowning.

But it doesn ‘ t have to be that way. Get a calendar, make a schedule, stick to it, plan ahead, ask for help and take care of yourself along the way.

The chaos will always be out there ‘ ¦how you manage it will help you stay ahead of it.

Areyou strugglingto organize your life as a working mom?
Let me help, NOW, before it gets to be just too much!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

 

5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So

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I have a client who was gifted 3 life-coaching sessions by her sister. While she truly appreciated the gift, she was rather insulted that her sister thought that she needed a life coach. She wasn ‘ t really happy, she thought, but she was fine.

One month later, though, is she happy that she found me? She says that she was very skeptical coming into working with me because she had been seeing therapists for years to no avail, and then, in 3 short weeks, her life was on a completely different track.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client ‘ s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So.

#1 – I provided insight.

During our first session, my client told me about how miserable she was. She was unhappy in her job, her marriage was floundering, she wasn ‘ t able to exercise because of an injury, and she was drinking too much. She felt hopeless.

She also told me that she had just weaned herself off of her anti-depressant. That she had reduced her dose for 3 months and she was on her second week of no meds at all.

I put two and two together and asked when her overwhelming feelings of hopelessness had started. She said about 2 months earlier. ‘ So just about when you started weaning off your meds? ‘ I asked. She thought about it and agreed with me.

I suggested that she ask her doctor about going back on her meds, perhaps at a lower dosage, to see if it made any difference with her negative feelings. And guess what? She did, and it did.

Without me there to listen and point things out objectively, with no agenda, as a relative might have, she might not have seen that her lack of meds was affecting her so. Nor, without the meds, would she have been able to start the other hard work that we began next.

#2 – I held her accountable. Big time.

During one of our sessions, we started to talk about her drinking. She was on a cleanse, and when she was done, she was determined that she wouldn ‘ t go back to her regular drinking habits. She recognized that she probably had a drinking problem but wanted to try to control it on her own.

We then talked about her calling her primary care doctor to get the name of an alcohol counselor. “Just get a name,” I told her. It would be a first step towards stopping her drinking, something that I knew was important to her because she didn ‘ t want it to affect her kids.

One week later, I checked in. She responded that she was great and that she hadn ‘ t contacted a counselor and that could she put off our appointment for two weeks so she could get some things done.

I told her no. That I wanted to talk with her on Monday, even if just for a few minutes. And what did she do because she knew that she was going to talk with me? She not only made an appointment with a therapist but she went to it before we talked.

She was feeling so great when we talked. She had much hope after her therapy session. And she thanked me for pushing her to do it.

#3 – I helped make her career clearer.

My client has a job that suits her needs. She likes what she does, works hard enough and has summers off. But she is approaching 30 and wants to make sure that she doesn ‘ t let her career life pass her by without being all that she could be.

But what would that look like? Being all that she could be?

I had her make a list of everything that made her heart sing, and then I had her read it back to me during our phone call. After she read that list, we started talking about possible career options. Because she had just read a list of what made her heart sing, her mind was clear and wide open. And we used some of those things on her list to identify a career move.

And guess what? We landed on one. A good one. Her homework was to take the first step toward making it happen.

As we were wrapping up, she said, ‘ Can I tell you something? It ‘ s almost embarrassing. I make these little kids’ bracelets, and I would love to make them and sell them on Etsy. ‘

‘ What a great idea, ‘ I replied and gave her some ideas for getting started down that path as well.

If she hadn ‘ t felt comfortable enough to trust me with that little pearl of wisdom, it might never have popped out of her mouth and come to fruition. And she was so happy it did.

#4 – I taught her how to talk with her husband.

My client has a very good relationship with her husband overall, but communication had broken down like it does in many long-term relationships.

They had some things to talk about, and she had no idea how to broach them.

I taught her that the most important part of communication is to talk not about how the other person is acting but how their actions make her feel. Another person can not get angry with you because of how you feel but they can get defensive about what they perceive is an attack on their character.

I also taught her that timing was everything. That if she wanted to talk about their drinking, I suggested that 9:00 pm, after a few cocktails, was not the best time. 9:00 am after coffee might be better.

Armed with these new tools she set out to have a constructive conversation with her hubby and one they did.

#5 – I taught her how to believe in herself.

We are all our own worst enemies. We catalog all of our worst traits and transgressions and trot them out whenever we feel it necessary. As a result, we tend to really not like or believe in ourselves.

I had my client keep a running list of daily successes. Big and small.

Getting out of bed. Not yelling at the kids before breakfast. A great meeting at work. Not having three slices of pizza for lunch but only two. Getting off the couch and going for a walk after dinner.

Successes, big and small.

I then had my client read her list of successes every night before bed. So she could sleep on them and remember them. That way those successes would be foremost in her mind, as opposed to her failures, and then she could trot them out when needed.

Believing in herself has allowed my client to move forward in her life, work on her relationship with her husband, grow her career and deal with her drinking with more self-confidence.

And self-confidence is the key to success.

So there you go, my 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client ‘ s Life.

We all have issues in our lives, and we all find them difficult to deal with. We have the support of friends and family but more often than not they just want to support us, to tell us what we want to hear.

But not a life coach. A life coach will tell you what she sees, objectively and professionally, and hold you accountable for plans that you make. She is the guardian angel who sits on your shoulder and reminds you that you are wonderful. She is the wonderland elf who gives you the tools to succeed. She is the fairy godmother who helps make all of your dreams come true.

Sounds pretty wonderful, doesn ‘ t it?

Let me help you make BIG CHANGES in your life.

Contact me NOW and I can help!

 

 

5 Things To Do in The Face of Fear – Even If You Just Want to Run Screaming

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An opportunity comes along. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – that job you have always wanted, the love you have always sought, a move that could change your life. You should be excited, right? No! Instead, you find yourself scared out of your wits.

Why? Wonderful opportunities often come with that dreaded thing…change. And change is scary. Paralyzingly so, at times.

But don’t run. There are ways to face fear head-on so that you don’t miss an opportunity that could change your life.

Here is my latest… 5 Things To Do in The Face of Fear – Even If You Just Want to Run Screaming.

#1 – Take a deep breath.

Yes, I know I always say this, but deep breaths are essential for keeping yourself from running from fear.

When presented with something that scares us the hormones in our body produce the fight or flight response: we can either stay (fight) or run (flight). More often than not, flight seems the easiest option, so that ‘ s what we do – we run. But if, when faced with something that scares us, we take a deep breath we immediately calm that instinct. Without our heart racing and our hormones pumping it’s much easier to face down that scary thing in front of you.

So next time you feel yourself starting to run from something that scares you stop and take a few deep breaths. Breathe in 3 seconds and out 5 seconds. Before you know it you will be thinking clearer and can move on to face what you need to face.

#2 – Ask yourself what it is that you are afraid of.

Many of us feel fear as a general feeling. We don’t take the time to identify exactly what we are afraid of. And not knowing what we are afraid of makes it very difficult to deal with those fears.

So make a list. One that details what exactly it is that scares you most about the situation. And then take those fears one at a time and address them.

I have a client who was so unhappy with her marriage that she decided if they just moved anywhere, all would be good. The prospect of picking up and moving to another country was more appealing to her than the prospect of sitting down with her husband to work on their marriage.

She was making plans for this move when I met her. I challenged her on her plans and asked her why she couldn’t face her husband. What was she afraid of?

It took her a while to answer, but her list looked like this:

  1. I am scared that we will have to talk about how we feel.
  2. I am afraid that I will get hurt.
  3. I am afraid that our marriage won’t work even if we try to work on it.

Once she had her list, she knew exactly what she was afraid of. We talked about each specific thing and were able to address each one more because she had identified them so clearly. Addressing fear as a general concept is almost impossible.

She still lives in her family home, and she shares it with the man she married, and they are working things out. It’s not easy, but she is happy.

#3 – Push back against those negative thoughts

Yes, back to those lovely thoughts in your head. The ones that tell you that you just can’t do anything. Especially anything new and risky. The brain likes things to stay the same. The same is easiest.

But staying the same is not how we find happiness. Happiness comes from taking risks and facing fears. So when those self-defeating thoughts enter your head, shut them down, one at a time.

I have a question I always ask when making a decision about something scary. “What’s the worst that can happen?” It works every time.

I have a client who is being given a job opportunity that could change her life. She is scared to make a move because she isn’t sure if she can make enough money to maintain her life. We talked about how much she would need and I asked her if she would be comfortable asking for that salary when offered the job. She hesitated.

I asked her what the worst that could happen was. For her, the worst would be that the amount would not be doable. But I pointed out that armed with that info she could make an informed decision about whether to take the job or not. And if the amount was doable then YAY, good for her for speaking up for herself!

So use those thoughts of yours to fight your fears and not succumb to them.

#4 – Recognize that history is just that. History.

Many of our fears are grounded in our history. I read a quote recently that said “it is not the moment that is tragic but the memory.” Think about it. It’s true, isn’t it?

We carry the memories of a lifetime of moments that have caused us pain, and we use these memories as fuel for our fears.

But we need to remember that those memories are in the past and we are now looking at our present and future.

I have a client who is madly in love with a man who loves her madly back, but his life is complicated, and he isn’t always emotionally available to her. Both her father nor her ex-husband weren’t emotionally unavailable, and both ultimately left her. This caused her immeasurable pain, pain that she has carried forward in her life.

So now she is scared about committing to this man because she doesn’t want to get hurt again.

She and I are working together to look at the differences and similarities between these three men and identify what in particular scares her. She is then having open discussions with her man about her fears.

She isn’t letting her past pull her away from this man but she is proactively addressing her fears and making decisions based on present circumstances instead of ancient history.

And she is feeling hopeful. Very hopeful.

#5 – Embrace it. It ‘ s Exciting!

Imagine if every day for the rest of your life was going to be the same. The same routine with no challenges or excitement. Just sameness.

Things that are scary are harbingers of change, and change is one of those things that makes life a better place.

Yes, confronting your fears could allow you to save your marriage, get that job of your dreams or the love of your life and that would be wonderful. But the biggest outcome of facing your fears is the strength you gain as a person.

When you have faced your fears and overcome them, you gain a huge sense of accomplishment, one that will always stay with you and only serve you well in the future.

Imagine that next fear coming along and you thinking “I’ve got this.” And you would know that you did because you have faced fear before and prevailed.

It would be pretty awesome, no?

So there you go. My 5 Things To Do in The Face of Fear.

Life is a scary place, full of all sorts of twists and turns, things that happen that change the way we thought things were going to be. It ‘ s exciting but very scary. And it ‘ s okay to be scared.

But know that you have the power to push past that fear, to reach for everything that you have ever wanted. And once you learn you have that power your life will never again be the same.

So go for it. Whatever you have ever wanted. Go for it. You can do it!

Looking for more ways to face fear? Contact me hereand I can help!

To welcome in 2017 I am offering one free session to the first 5 people who reach out.

So do so TODAY.

 

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