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Tag Archive for: chaos

5 Small Things To Be Grateful For – Even When Life Is Getting You Down

September 15, 2016/3 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


There some days where it’s really hard to find things to be grateful for, and some days it’s not hard at all.

Two weeks ago, my sister had an emergency appendectomy, and I have spent most of my time with her in Connecticut since then.

My sister has two teenage boys, two dogs, a coop full of chickens, a husband and a preschool to run. She cannot drive or lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for two weeks. So here I am. Being her.

That I can do this, and take some time off from my life in NYC to help her out, makes me feel very grateful. Grateful that I have the kind of career that allows me flexibility with where and when I work. If I couldn ‘ t be here my sister ‘ s illness would have had a far greater impact on her family so I know she is also grateful.

These past weeks have got me thinking about everything I am grateful for in this world. There are many things, big and small that I so appreciate. Life can be challenging, and if it weren ‘ t for the little things, it would sometimes seem unbearable. What kind of little things?

#1 – Comfort Food:

We all have it. That certain something that we love to eat. That something that we fantasize about if the day is going very badly.

For me, it ‘ s Thai food. Whenever I am having a bad day, I promise myself at the end of the day, some Pad Thai will be part of my evening. The prospect calms me down immediately and lifts my spirits.

And of course, the chocolate pudding that I eat for dessert doesn ‘ t hurt either.

And for that, I am grateful.

#2 – Smiles:

Think about that morning when everything went wrong. You woke up late, there was no hot water, your coffee was cold, and you had nothing to wear. Your day was gonna suck.

And then you take the elevator down to the lobby and walk out onto the street, your sunglasses on, prepared to fight the world. You round the corner and almost run into a stranger, a stranger who smiles broadly and says good morning. Reflexively you smile back.

It changes your whole day.

The actual act of smiling, using the muscles to turn your mouth upwards, has been proven to lift your mood. I know that when my kids were little, and I was feeling overwhelmed just smiling at them made me feel better.

And for that, I am grateful.

#3 – The Sun And the Moon:

Imagine a world without the sun. Imagine being unable to turn your face up to it and feeling immediately warmed. Imagine a world without flowers or grass or hummingbirds. Imagine a world where it is always dark. How lucky are we that we have the sun and all the warmth and beauty it brings?

And then there ‘ s the moon. There is nothing like looking up at the night sky and seeing that brilliant light shining down, the orb passing through it ‘ s nightly phases, to truly strike awe. When it ‘ s full, it can turn the night into a magical daytime. When it ‘ s new the world feels safe, held close by the darkness.

When I look at the moon each night I know that those I love who aren ‘ t with me can see that same moon and it makes the world just a little smaller and the love a little brighter.

And for that I am grateful.

#4 – Hot Water:

This is one thing that I never think about until it ‘ s not there. And when it ‘ s not there, I notice.

Think about that shower that you took this morning. Was it almost as important to you as that coffee (made with hot water) you drank right afterward? How about that bathtub you are going to sink into tonight? To soak your weary bones and have a few moments of peace. Lovely.

Hot water keeps our clothes and dishes clean, heats our homes, cooks our pasta and dissolves our sugar. Without hot water, our life would be a much different place.

And I get that cup of tea at the end of the day that warms me to my toes right before I take my bath.

And for that I am grateful.

#5 – My Bed:

Is there anything better in the whole world than one ‘ s bed?

A bed with soft sheets, the perfect number of pillows, and that cozy comforter on a cool night. Heaven.

It ‘ s a place where you can take refuge at the end of an endless day, a place to curl up with your kids, a place where you get to read that fantastic book you fall asleep to every night, a place where you can talk quietly with the one you love, among other things.

No matter how crazy, jam-packed and exhausting my life is, at the end of every day I have my bed.

And for that, I am grateful.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of small things. It is just the beginning.

Stop for a moment. Look around. For what are you grateful?

There are days when life can be almost too much to bear. Take a few minutes to take stock of what you are grateful for. I promise if you do, you will be able to bear it.

Are you struggling with finding things to be grateful for?
I know it can be hard. Let me help!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos

July 27, 2016/2 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Ok. It ‘ s bedtime. You know the drill. Homework is being wrapped up; teeth are being brushed; the next day’s school clothes are being chosen, lost books are being retrieved, and that last text message is being sent.

And everybody is calmly taking care of their business as you supervise from your easy chair, right? NOT!

Bedtime is chaos. Getting off to school is chaos. Doing homework and making dinner is chaos. Your life is chaos.

Sometimes it ‘ s hard to stay patient in the middle of it all.

There are ways to manage the chaos without breaking down and screaming, which might make you feel better in the moment but is rarely a good motivator. And something you always regret.

Here are my ideas for 5 Ways for Moms to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable. I will use bedtime as an example to work from.

#1 – Stay aware:

Bedtime is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting. Every night. It ‘ s just the nature of the beast. If you go into it remembering that it is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting, you will have a better chance of managing it without losing it.

Before it begins, take a minute (or more if you have it). Take a deep breath. Have a cup of tea. Whatever it will take to get your calm on, go for it.

If you enter a situation already stressed out, having just finished a work call or throwing the dishes in the dishwasher, chances are you will break much quicker than if you go calm.

#2 – Ask for help:

There are usually two grown-ups in the house at bedtime. Don ‘ t try to do it all yourself. It ‘ s something that we moms try to do. Everything. And it usually doesn ‘ t end well.

Divide and conquer. Each of you takes a child. Or one person manages teeth brushing while the other helps pack up homework. Define your tasks clearly, so everyone knows and sticks to their job.

And don ‘ t let the kids play you off each other. Remember that you are a team and that you are bigger than those little people who are trying to run all over you.

#3 – Declare if you are escalating:

I don ‘ t know about you, but I tend to keep my frustration bottled up, allowing them to slowly build until I erupt with loud, ugly words. My kids then looked at me like I was crazy because they had no idea how the night approached me.

Let your kids know if you start to escalate. I use a 10-point scale: 1 being calm and 10 being at the edge. ‘ Hey kids, ‘ I say, ‘ Mom is at a 5. Can we please calm down and get into bed. ‘

This lets the kids know that your frustration is mounting so that perhaps they can tweak their behaviors to prevent the eruption of Mt. Mom.

#4 – Take a deep breath:

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler on the highway, notice what you are doing. Chances are you are holding your breath. And gripping the steering wheel very tightly. It ‘ s tension-filled; in those few seconds, you inch past them. And your body reacts.

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler, take a deep breath. You will immediately feel yourself relaxing, your hands unclenching. You will get by that truck without missing a beat.

Take the above action and apply it too chaotic times. Take a deep breath. Repeat as necessary. It is sure to calm you down.

#5 – Visualize what is next:

One of the best ways to get through a chaotic situation is to visualize the prize at the end of the chaos. Bedtime is no exception.

Good things wait for you on the other side when the bedtime routine is over. Time with your spouse. Another episode of “House of Cards.” A bath. Looking in on your beautiful sleeping children. YOUR BED.

As your frustration grows, picture what is on the other side. And know that if you stay calm, the chaos will probably subside quicker, and you will get to your prize.

So there are 5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable.

Our lives are chaotic, jam-packed, and crazy. And chances are they aren ‘ t going to change until your kids go off to college and you are left alone in an empty house (but that is a whole ‘ ˜nother topic).

Learning to manage the chaos with your hair and sanity intact is the best way to get through it. And you can do it. Think of all of the chaotic things you have survived already. This is just one more. You CAN DO IT.

Looking for more coping tips to get through your crazy life? I can help. Contact me now, and we can get you started down the path to living the life of your dreams.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

I'm here to help

I am a New York City-based Certified Life Coach with 10 years experience as a working life coach. I am certified through the Coach Training Alliance and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. These people have succeeded at, among other things, restoring the love in their relationships, getting to know themselves again and finding their place in the world.

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More About chaos

  • A woman with blue eyes peeking through leaves.5 Small Things To Be Grateful For – Even When Life Is Getting You Down

    15 Sep 2016

  • A stack of rocks with green leaves on top.5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos

    27 Jul 2016

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