Valentines Day is here! The day you have been waiting for all year. A day that is all about love and chocolate. Really what else does one need?
Except, oh yeah, you aren’t in a relationship this year and you are going to be the ONLY one without a date. Woe is you.
C’mon people. Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. In all it’s forms. So let’s do it!
#1 – The pressure is off.
I have a client who just yesterday was lamenting that Valentine’s Day was right around the corner. Every year she has such big expectations for the day and every year her husband lets her down completely. One year he split a dozen roses with a co-worker and brought them home. Really.
Did you know that post – Valentine’s Day is the #2 time of year for break ups (#1 is right after New Years when people think “I am not going to do one more holiday with this person.”). And the reason for Valentine’s break ups is because people feel let down once again.
This year you get to make whatever you want out of your Valentine’s Day. What do you want to do? Get a bunch of friends and drink tequila? Go to a sappy movie? Dance the night away? Whatever you want. The sky is the limit.
And just imagine that, for once, Valentine’s Day will be everything that you want it to be.
#2 – Eat chocolate.
Let’s get right down to it. Valentine’s Day is particularly about the love of chocolate. And who doesn’t love chocolate. So eat some. As much as you want.
Word on the street is that dark chocolate is the best for you. It is very nutritious, is a great source of anti-oxidents, it improves blood flow and lowers blood pressure and it helps balance your cholesterol.
Personally, I like milk chocolate which may not have the same qualities as dark but it makes me smile every time I eat it. Especially if there is caramel in the middle.
So eat chocolate! On this day as much as you want. It’s not like you are going to have to get naked in front of someone at the end of the day. Do it!
I personally have a bowl of chocolate pudding with my name on it in my fridge, waiting for me to indulge. Kind of exciting.
#3 – You can love that most important person. Yourself.
This is a tough one. It’s really hard to love ourselves much less put ourselves first on the list of those we love. But it’s very important that we do and Valentine’s Day is a great day to practice that.
I personally have a list of the things that I love about myself and that list is going to be front and center for me on Valentine’s Day.
I love that I am a direct and honest person, sometimes to a fault, but it is a thing that people say they love about me. I love that I have so many friends who know they can rely on me to be there, anytime and anywhere. I love that I am funny and sarcastic and a fabulous flirt. I love how I feel walking down the street in my tight jeans and cowboy boots. I love the work I do with my clients. I love that I am 51 and rocking it.
There is a lot to love about me and damn if I am not going to recognize that on this day that is all about love.
And I am going to eat some chocolate to celebrate how awesome I am.
#4 – It’s a reminder that it’s time to make a move.
It’s so easy to just give up on our search for love. This modern world makes finding love difficult. We are all so busy and connected to our devices and it’s very hard to look up and see all of the people who are around us.
Now is the time to take stock of how important a relationship is to you. I know many of my clients say that they are just fine, that being alone is way better because they have their own lives. And this is true. If you are happy alone then you are very healthy.
But it’s okay to want to be in a relationship. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are strong enough to define what you want and go out there and get it.
Try registering with a dating site. Join a Meet Up that will bring you together with like-minded people. Go to the park and smile at that cute guy who is walking past. Tell all your friends that they need to set you up with someone. Visualize that ideal partner in your head. Believe that you can get it.
Set a goal. Make a plan. Put yourself out there. Find love. You can do it!
#5 – Celebrate that love is all around you.
The first words in the movie “Love Actually,” spoken by Hugh Grant, are as follows:
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion’s starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaky feeling you’ll find that love actually is all around.
Those words gives me shivers every time.
So look around. Look at the love that is all around you every day.
For me, every night I look at the moon and I think of the people that I love who are looking at that very same moon. I can feel the love and I am thankful. The world is big and love is everywhere.
Valentine’s Day might at times seem like a Hallmark & Hershey holiday but really what does it matter because it is an excuse to celebrate love.
So don’t waste the day. Take a look around and notice the people, places and things you love. Don’t forget to look in the mirror too.
Because love is all around us. How lucky are we?
Are you struggling with not being in a relationship?
I know it can be really, really hard. Let me help you do what needs to be done to find one!
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s get started!
I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.