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5 Things to Choose if You Want to be Happy

You know that person. The one who is always happy. Nothing seems to get them down. They are successful, have good friends, exude confidence and are just fun to be with.

Is this you?

Everybody wants to be happy. It seems pretty simple doesn’t it? But the reality is different. Happiness is a choice. A few choices actually. And it’s totally within reach for everyone. So what can you choose?

#1 – Choose truth.

You know those decisions that make your stomach hurt. The ones that you make because your brain tells you it’s the “right” thing to do, not because it’s what you really want.

Yes. Those decisions.  You probably made one today.

Those decisions are not based on your truth. They are based on some truth outside of yourself, some truth that is based on what everyone else says is “right.” These decisions are not good for you.

Making decisions based on what you really want, what will truly be good for you, are decisions based on your truth. These kind of decisions feel good in your body. These decisions allow you to sleep at night.

Decisions not based on our truth can actually make us sick and definitely interfere with our happiness.

How do we stop making these unhealthy choices? We listen to our bodies.

Next time, when presented with a decision that needs to be made, pause and check how each potential decision makes your body feel. Our bodies will only tell us the truth. If the decision makes you feel slightly nauseous then it’s probably not a good one. If it makes your head hurt, the same. If it makes your heart leap, then that’s it. That’s the healthy decision.

Listen to your body. Unlike your brain, it will never lie to you!

# 2 – Choose love.

Everyone wants to love and be loved.

And ideally everyone would share their life with that ONE person. The one you curl up with at night and eat cereal with in the morning. The one whose hand you hold on the subway and with whom you binge watch “Sons of Anarchy” at night. You know the person. The one who makes your heart sing.

If you have a person, don’t let them go. And if you don’t, believe that you will. Especially if you are happy.

If you don’t have that person right now you know that you have other people in your life who love you: your sister, your best friend, your neighbor. Make sure that you have contact with someone who loves you every day. In person, on the phone or via text (last choice).

And don’t forget to love yourself. You are awesome. Tell yourself as often as you can. Because you are.

#3 – Choose yourself.

You know how you choose to make everyone else happy first?

You go to that raunchy movie with your kids instead of that historical drama you want to see. Or you visit your mother in law with your husband instead of working in the garden? We all do it. And it undermines our happiness.

Sometimes we do have to put someone else’s needs above our own but, really, it’s important to put ourselves first more often than not. Nobody else is going to take care of us and it’s important that we do so.

If you always put yourself last you will truly come to believe that you are last. Being last will definitely not make you happy. Think back to that fight you had with your husband while driving home from his mother’s house.

Enough said.

#4 – Choose kindness.

Did you know being kind to someone else is one of the best ways to feel happy? Think about the look on that woman’s face when you raced after her to return the wallet that she left in the store. Or the way the barista reacted this morning when, after dealing with customer after customer who had not yet had their coffee, you thanked them with a big smile and a compliment.

Being kind is not hard to do but so many of us forget to be in this crazy, jam packed and exhausting world that we live in. Making that small effort to make someone else happy can go a long way to making you feel happy too.

#5 – Choose to believe.

A key ingredient in being happy is believing that you can be. Really. It’s not an easy thing.

When you are unhappy it’s almost impossible to believe that you ever could be happy.

When you are unhappy and you look ahead you are doing so with that unhappy feeling in your gut. Your future life seems hopeless because you are unhappy right now. But you gotta believe. Believing in anything is the best way to manifest it. Believe that you will get that job and you will. Believe that you will find that love and you will. Believe that you will be happy and you will.

How to believe? Visualize that job. Feel how it will feel to have it. Store that feeling in your body and summon it when you have doubt. The same with love. Picture that perfect someone. Feel how it will feel to be loved by them. Picture yourself happy and do the same.

It really works. Try it and see.

Happiness is a state of mind. A state of being. If you make choices that cause physical pain, that keep you from sleeping, that make you feel hopeless, you will never find it.

Try it. Try putting yourself first, loving yourself and those around you, being kind, being truthful. Believing. What a difference it will make. I promise.


If you’ve made it this far you must really be struggling with how to be happy.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before you get even more stuck.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

5 Ways to Help Your Kids Thrive, Even if Life Is Chaotic, Jam Packed & Crazy

When our kids are born they are little pieces of perfection. We look at them and promise that they are going to have the perfect life, that we will be the perfect parent, that the life challenges we faced they won’t have to.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if it really turned out that way?

We all have our challenges. Kids especially. It’s always been hard to be a kid, with school and acne and braces and lost best friends and that dreaded gym class. They don’t want us but they need us.

5 Ways to Help Your Kids Thrive

#1 – Take the time to sit with them. Just be in their presence. So many of us spend our time running around, multi tasking. Our child is at the table, doing homework, and we are making phone calls, chopping vegetables, paying bills. Take a few minutes and just sit next to your child. Share the silence. Kris did that one night. Her daughter was reading a book and she joined her on the couch with her own book. After a few minutes her daughter put down her book and told her mom about something that happened at school that day. Kris shared that the interaction meant a lot to both of them and that she got just a little insight into her daughter’s life.

#2 – Listen to them. We like to think that we listen to our kids when they talk to us but many of us are doing other things when they do so. Have you ever found yourself say “uh huh” when your child pauses for reaction and realizing that you have no idea what they just said. When your child talks to you stop what you are doing and really pay attention. Even if it’s a frivolous story you might get some nugget of information for future use.

#3 – Don’t be a helicopter parent. Children are going to make mistakes. They NEED to make mistakes. They NEED to learn how to do things on their own. If you are always hovering, picking up the pieces when they fall, they will never learn how to do it on their own. Julie always tied her daughter’s shoes for her. Always. And then, on her daughter’s first day of school, Julie wasn’t there to tie them for her. Her daughter was crushed and didn’t want to go back to school the next day. Julie taught her daughter how to tie her own shoes that very night and she happily went off to school the next day.

#4 – Be Positive. Yes, we have all had challenging life experiences, experiences that we don’t want our children to have. But, no matter how hard we try, we can’t stop them from happening. When you see your child facing something that you faced and failed at, DON’T let your feelings of failure enter the conversation. Think about what you might have done differently and share that with them instead. Be positive.

#5 – Take care of their health. It is essential that all of us take care of ourselves, that we get enough sleep and exercise and eat a healthy diet. Many kids these days don’t get enough of the first two and too much of the last one (and often not so healthy). When your kids become teenagers it is very difficult to influence their lifestyle choices so it is important to work hard in their early years to instill good habits. Make sure they have a comfy bed and that they play outside after school. Limit their screen time. Have healthy food available but don’t make Oreos totally taboo. Kim’s kids had a steady diet of frozen pizza and French fries that they consumed in front of the TV. Her kids were always bears at bed-time which made the morning routine especially difficult. At my suggestion she tweaked their diets and they ate dinner together at the dinner table and suddenly bedtime was a dream and the mornings were better too.

So there you go, 5 ways to help your kids thrive. Really, none of these tips are reinventing the wheel but they are often overlooked amid the chaos of everyday living. But you can do it. You are doing it already. Just pay attention and tweak things here and there and you will see a huge difference.

Do you have any stories about ways you have helped your children thrive? Questions about challenges that regularly arise? I would love to hear from you…