Tag Archive for: mom

How To Make A Career Change – 5 Tips to Make IT Happen

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You know that you want a career change. You have known it for a long time, but the prospect of doing it is daunting.

There are so many ifs and buts about switching jobs; getting started is the hardest. Where will I go? Will I have to take less money? Will anyone even hire me?

And then you think, ‘ Maybe I should just stay in the job I have now. ‘

No! To move to a new job or career, you must start initially.

How To Make A Career Change (5 Tips):

Are you feeling stuck in your current career? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different job or industry?

Making a career change can be daunting, but it can also lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Here are five ways to make a successful career change.

#1 – Do Your Research:

This is the most important place to start. Doing your research is essential to getting yourself going. So many of us get stuck in the same old job because we don’t know our options.

See what jobs are out there that you might be interested in, whether in your or another industry.

See what jobs are in alignment with your skillset. You have many skills that you have acquired over the years, which could be useful in various industries.

Research the industries you are interested in, even if it ‘ s the ones you already work in. Things change so quickly these days, and staying up to date is important if you are putting yourself out there.

Information is power, especially when it comes to a job search.

#2 – Update Your Resume And Your Cover Letter:

This is very important. Whether you have been in the same job for 3 years or 30, an updated resume and cover letter are essential. And using the correct format is essential.

Resumes and cover letters these days are no longer read by potential employers but rather scanned. There are so many job applicants that all potential employers have time to do.

Make your resume and cover letter succinct and to the point, very clearly highlighting your skills and experience. Use dot whacks, not full sentences, for easy scanning. Put your most relevant skills near the top of your resume as many employers don ‘ t get more than a quarter down the page before they move on.

Never, ever, ever indicate anywhere that you lack skills. You might be, but you don ‘ t need to tell your potential employer before it is necessary, if ever.

#3 – Apply, Apply, Apply:

Once you have your resume up to date, start applying.

There are a variety of sites where jobs are posted. Locate the ones in your industry and check them daily. The same with companies that you are interested in working for. They post their jobs in the human resources section of their websites. Checking them regularly will ensure you don ‘ t miss out on any opportunities.

Don ‘ t hold back. Apply for any jobs that interest you. There are so many job applicants these days that it might take some time before you get a callback. Or not, because your resume is awesome!

Another important thing to do is reach out to your contacts. The best way to get an interview is through a personal recommendation. So use those contacts. That ‘ s what they are there for.

#4 – Brush Up On Your Interview Skills:

How long has it been since you have had a job interview? A year? 10 years? Interviewing can be like riding a bike in that you remember how to even if you haven ‘ t for a while, but practicing will make sure you don ‘ t fall off.

When you land an interview, take a few minutes and consider some questions they might ask you. Think about what you might answer and practice speaking those answers out loud. Work with a friend or with your mirror. But do it! Practice ‘ ¦

#5 – Don ‘ t Give Up:

Again, like #1, this is key.

Applying for a job can be frustrating and disheartening. So many people are out there applying for jobs, and it can be hard to stand up and be noticed.

But you will be. Put your best self out there as often as possible, and you will be discovered and allowed to shine.

Don ‘ t give up until you get the job of your dreams.

No one should be stuck in a job that they have outgrown. Don ‘ t let indecision and the unknown keep you from seeking a new job.

Wrapping Up!

Making a career change can be daunting, but the right approach can lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Assess your current career, acquire new skills and education, network and build connections, create a strong resume and cover letter, and be open and adaptable to new opportunities.

Take the first step toward your desired career today!

Looking for more ways to successfully change your career? Contact me now, and I can help!

5 Way To Remember That You Are Worthy

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Worthiness. We are all born with an innate sense of worth. As babies, we cry for food, demand attention, and insist on doing things OUR WAY. It is this sense of worth that keeps us alive.

As women and mothers, we tend to lose that sense of self-worth. So much of our time is spent tending to the needs of others, calming crying babies, assuaging angry partners, and talking down disappointed clients, that we stop taking care of ourselves. And when we stop attending to our needs, we start losing our sense of self-worth.

This is not ok. Not knowing how worthy we are can lead to patterns of behavior that only reinforce our belief that we are not worthy of being loved, cared for, or living the life of our dreams. We let our children run all over us, our partners take us for granted, and our bosses demean us.

We stop eating well and taking care of ourselves and we stop reaching for what we want.

#1 – Love yourself like you love your kids.

Take a moment and feel in your body how much you love your kids. That ‘ s an easy feeling to get in touch with, isn ‘ t it? You love your kids unconditionally and would lay down your life for them.

Now, imagine how it would feel to love yourself that way. To know that you always have someone with you who can remind you how awesome you are or point out that you can walk into your boss ‘ office and ask for what you need.

It would feel pretty good, right?

So get in touch with your inner mom and keep her with you always.

#2 – Call your mother.

Look back on #1. Think about how you love your kids. Your mother loves you that much too. So call her.

I have a client who has a twice-weekly phone call with her mother. They don ‘ t discuss anything, just what happens in each other ‘ s lives.

This client ‘ s mother is her daughter ‘ s most faithful fan and cheerleader. She always reminds her daughter of what a great job she is doing as a parent and a wife, the most challenging jobs in the world, and what a wonderful daughter she is for keeping in touch so often.

My client says having one person who regularly reminds her of her awesomeness has changed her life. It gives her the confidence in herself that feeds her desire to be all that she can be.

#3 – Think back to your wedding day.

Your wedding day was a big day. It was a day that you and your partner promised to love and care for each other for a very long time. It was a day when your friends and family stood up for the two of you, supporting you as you started your life together.

Take a moment, take a photo if you have to, and remember how you felt that day. The love you and your partner shared and the love that your friends and family gave you unconditionally. And look at how happy you were cutting that cake ‘ ¦

Remembering your wedding day will remind you that you love and are loved by many people. And what better way to touch base with that inner self-worth than through a bit of love?

#4 – Remember earlier successes.

We have all had many, many successes in our lives but for some reason, it is the failures that stick with us. Do you know those failures that keep you up at night, obsessing? Yep, those.

Instead of obsessing, try taking stock of the successes you have had. The ‘ A ‘ you got on your thesis in college, the interview that landed you that first job out of college, that dress you were rocking the day your partner first saw you, the 10lb child you gave birth to in 3 hours, without drugs. Those are all pretty huge successes. Ones you should celebrate.

Try keeping a list in your head, or even better on paper, of the successes you have had in your life, the successes that deep down you are proud of, and look back on them as needed as reminders of just how amazing you are.

#5 – Relish your everyday victories.

This is an important one. Many of us feel like we are failures all day, every day. We don ‘ t pack an organic lunch for our kids and then yell at them when they dawdle and miss the school bus. We are short with our partners when they let us down in some small way. We don ‘ t get enough work done because we are trying to order shoes for the kids from Amazon. All of these we perceive as failures.

But really, we have successes in there too.

First and foremost, we get out of bed every day. Everyone should see that as a success. It ‘ s not as easy as it sounds.

We might not pack organic, but our kids get lunch daily. We might not have finished that spreadsheet, but our kids will have shoes, which is essential, and that spreadsheet will ultimately get finished.

And we get to crawl into bed with our partner at the end of the day and share the closeness that surviving another crazy day brings.

So when those successes happen, recognize and relish them because you do have them. Every day.

To live the life of your dreams, you need to get back in touch with that child who knew her worth and demanded that she get what she needed to survive and thrive.

So try my tips and see what happens.

And I have more tips to share, so get in touch with me NOW, and we can get you on the way to living the life of your dreams.

7 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Stuff and Breathe Easier

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We all have stuff. It ‘ s just what Americans do. We collect stuff. Some of us have more of it than others, and some have a more challenging time controlling that stuff.

Having too much stuff can cause a ton of stress.

There is an efficient way to get rid of all that stress-inducing stuff, a few secrets of which I will share with you here today.

#1 – Identify what room needs to be de-stuffed first.

This is the key. If you look around the house and think, ‘ I need to get rid of ALL this stuff ‘ , you will get so overwhelmed that you will just go watch an episode of ‘ Orange is the New Black ‘ instead.

Choose one room. Any room. If you want to start small, do so. Like the mudroom or the laundry. Or even a dresser drawer. Completing the task of de-stuffing that room or drawer, will make you feel so good that it will make you want to tackle a larger room next.

#2 – Give yourself time to start and finish the project and prioritise it.

This is key. You need to make a date with that room that you won ‘ t break. If you try to do this ‘ when you have time ‘ well, you know. Most likely, it just won ‘ t happen.

When planning your week, choose an hour or two (or more) and put them on your calendar IN RED so you will see it, remember it and not change it. If it’s on your calendar, you will likely complete it!

Also, Salvation Army (and other charities) will pick up stuff from your house for free. So, call the Salvation Army and set up a pick up date with them. If you have a deadline to work around, you will be more likely to stick to your throw away schedule.

#3 – Turn on Spotify and set up your speakers.

Throwing away is way easier when done to music. Get out your favorite playlist, wear some comfy clothes and get ready to get down to it.

#4 – Start in one corner of the room.

This is a my special secret and one that WORKS!

In the chosen corner of the room, garbage bag in hand, throw things away. Things that you aren ‘ t using that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things you are still using, and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren ‘ t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it ‘ s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for its role in your life, and then say goodbye.

If you come across something emotionally fraught, just put it back and get to it later. Don’t let it shut down your learning out process.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process over and over. Don ‘ t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room. You can do them all in one session or spread them out in more manageable chunks.

#5 – Use the middle of the room.

As you throw away the things that are broken and leave the things that aren ‘ t, you will come across things that can be 1. recycled or 2. given to the Salvation Army. Put those thing in the middle of the room, in two piles. When you are done, you can put the recycled stuff at the curb and wait for the Salvation Army to pick up the rest.

NOTE: if this step is overwhelming, dividing things into two piles, skip it and get a giant garbage bag. Put it all in the garbage, and don’t look back.

#6 – Take a minute and look around.

Stand in the doorway of that room. Appreciate how de-stuffed it is. Notice how it makes you feel. Less stressed? Recognize that YOU DID THIS. All by yourself.

Appreciating your hard work is a great way to be inspired to keep it up. I used to keep my dining room clean so that whenever I walked by it, I was reminded of what I could do.

If you can do this, imagine what else you can do ‘ ¦.

#7 – Do not buy more stuff.

I know this seems obvious, but it ‘ s what we do. We go to Sam ‘ s Club and think, ‘ Oh, look. This croquet set is so cheap, and summer is coming, and we could play together as a family and ‘ ¦. ‘ The reality is that it may get used once and then put away to gather dust.

Consider purchases carefully before making them. You will not only reduce your stress, but you will save yourself money. Money you can use for a massage or something else that will make your life better.

Getting rid of stuff can change your life. De-cluttering your house can de-clutter your mind, freeing it up for way more important things.

Choose what area of your house you would like to start on, set a date, put it to music and throw things away.

Decluttering your house will free you up for bigger things! How great would that feel?

Get in touch with me NOW to get yourself started. You will be glad you did!

 

5 Reasons to Love Your Mother-in-Law, Even When It’s Really Hard

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Are you desperately seeking reasons to love your mother-in-law? Does it seem hard some days? Do you want to know if your mother-in-law likes you?

When you get married, more likely than not, you also get a mother-in-law, the woman who raised your partner. And quickly, there can arise conflict between you. She raised your partner and is used to things being done a certain way, and you married him or her and have your own opinions and traditions. This conflict can be really hard on a marriage. It can even destroy it.

Don ‘ t fret!

By understanding more about how your mother-in-law ‘ s brain works, you can improve your relationship with her and alleviate conflict and thereby strengthen your relationship with your partner.

Reasons to Love Your Mother-in-Law

Here are top 5 best reasons to love your mother-in-law.

#1 – Remember that she has experience that you don ‘ t have.

Our mothers-in-law have been doing what you are just beginning to do for probably more than a few decades. That is a lot of experience, experience that you should appreciate and take advantage of. You are new at all of this and can use all the help you can get, whether you know it or not.

An excellent way to get closer to your mother-in-law is to ask her to share that experience with you. Asking her questions, getting her opinions, sometimes even deferring to her wishes will all help you connect with her. And if she feels like she is playing part of her child’s new life, she will be way easier to get along with.

So mine some of the experience that you have right at hand. You will be glad you did, for many reasons.

#2 – Remember that she did raise your partner.

I know it ‘ s hard to imagine your mother-in-law gave birth to your partner. She fed them and bathed them, and changed their diapers for years. She taught them how to do just about everything that they do.

Your mother-in-law profoundly influenced your partner ‘ s life for 18 years or more. And that shouldn ‘ t be discounted. She even deserves some credit and respect for the fact that she did that.

My mother-in-law always told me that her son could vacuum a toilet like a madman. I told her that I had retrained him after 20 years of marriage: he cleaned nothing anymore. I see now that that was a slap in her face. She worked hard to raise the person that she did and should be recognized, and appreciated for that.

And remember, you did fall in love with the person she raised ‘ ¦.

#3 – Remember that she loves your kids as much, if not more, than you do.

They say that being a grandparent is the most wonderful thing in the world. You get all the joys of being a parent without all the difficulties. So know that, at the very least, one more person is madly in love with your child.

I know that my grandmother was a huge positive influence in my life. She hadn ‘ t been a great mother to my mother, but, for me, she was amazing. And I have learned, from my mother, that having grandchildren is the best thing ever happening to her.

An older couple holding a baby and another elderly woman.

So appreciate that this person loves your children as much as she does. After all, every person who loves your child is a gift.

#4 – Remember that she does want to help.

Mothers in-law don ‘ t set out to drive us crazy. They don ‘ t mean to criticize our parenting or complain about the state of our kitchen. They are there, in the house, to be with their children and grandchildren.

And, more often than not, their intentions are good.

Perhaps how they speak up about our parenting or housekeeping skills is abrasive and stinging, but remember, they are only human and most likely just trying to help. Really.

So next time your mother-in-law is in your house, put her to work. She can hang out with the kids or help you fold the laundry or take your partner out for a break. Mothers are used to being busy, and when she is at your house, a ‘guest,’ she might feel put out and useless.

I am sure there is some help somewhere that you need.

#5 – Remember that you are lucky to have her and that she won ‘ t always be there.

So many mothers start with no support. Their mother and mother-in-law is far away, no longer alive, or absent.

We are lucky to have someone there who can support us when we are new or even more seasoned parents. My mother lived in Virginia, and while she was there right after my daughter was born, she could only stay a week.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law lived close by. And while we didn’t always see eye to eye, she was there some times when I needed her. I am very lucky that I had that.

Also, remember, none of us are getting any younger, so our mothers-in-law might not always be there for us. Appreciate how lucky you are and make the best of it.

To love your mother-in-law is not always easy, but I promise you that doing so will be worth it in the long run.

Learn from her experience, have respect for the years she cared for your spouse, know that she adores your kids, put her to work and appreciate that she exists.

After all, your partner loves her. She is his or her mother. Your loving her shows your partner how much you love them, which makes everybody happy.

5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier

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Every day moms take care of everyone else. That is just what we do. We make sure the kids are loved, fed, bathed and supported. Likewise, our partners. We do our best to carry our share, or more, at work and always try to be a shoulder to cry on for our friends.

What we aren ‘ t good at is taking care of ourselves. We set goals to go to the gym, or sleep more or eat better but in the end life gets in the way, and we just let it go.

We don’t have to do this!

Little Ways For Moms To Feel Happier:

Here are 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier.

#1 – Every day, do one thing that makes you happy:

It doesn ‘ t need to be a big thing but do something. Make a playlist for your car and listen to music that makes you sing out loud. Serve breakfast for dinner (because no one ever complains when dinner involves pancakes). Bring your book in the car and read a chapter while waiting to pick up the kids at school. Whatever small thing it is that makes your heart sing.

For me, when my kids were little, every Sunday was pizza night, and then my People magazine and I would retire to the bathtub for an hour. I went to bed Sunday night happy, and Monday mornings were much easier.

#2 – Replace the Oreos:

I am willing to bet that Oreos were not a staple of your diet before you had kids. Am I wrong? But now they are because they are in the cupboard. You get tired, or stressed or bored, and there, right in front of you, is a little disk of self-indulgence. So you eat one or 20, feel better for 30 seconds, and then feel not so good.

Keep something you love in the cupboard that will fill that need when you get tired, stressed, or bored, and go for that instead. Chocolate-covered almonds, honey-roasted peanuts, or individually wrapped chocolates (so you can ‘ t take a handful). And, if you have something that combines sugar and protein (like sweetened nuts), you won ‘ t be affected by the sugar so quickly and won ‘ t get that Oreo cookie crash.

#3 – Play with your kids:

When our kids are born, we all have grand plans to get down on the floor with them and play. And we do, at least until their sibling is born, and then we as often as not let them have at it.

Playing with your kids makes you happier, and happiness leads to healthiness. First of all, play makes you smile, and the physical act of smiling makes you happy. Also, by sheer definition, play is more fun than work. So put on a tiara and frolic with your kids, at least briefly. Try it!

One of my clients plays a game of cards with her kids and her husband every night after dinner. It only takes 20 minutes and they laugh and kid and enjoy each others company. And then off they go to homework etc. She reports that the 20 minutes makes the transitions easier and sets up a much smoother bedtime routine, every mother ‘ s dream.

#4 – Get just a little more sleep:

I know you are saying, ‘ Yeah. Right. ‘ But I am serious. Try to fit just a little more sleep into your day. Actually I am suggesting you build it into your schedule. Right there, between going to the dry cleaners and finishing your project for the meeting. Make a plan to take a 15-minute nap right after lunch, before you head out to do errands. Or sleep 15 minutes later 3 times a week, wherever you can fit in just a little more sleep.

If you sleep in 15 minutes 3 days a week, that ‘ s 45 minutes more sleep. Add two naps in there, and you have more than an hour. Every bit of sleep makes a difference.

#5 – Do one thing that will get your heart rate up:

Can ‘ t make time for the gym? No problem. Even a little cardio is better than none. Why? Because getting your heart rate up produces more endorphins, and endorphins produce a euphoric feeling.

Ideas? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Dance around the kitchen while cooking a meal. Walk the dog. Ride a bike. Kick a soccer ball. Jump on the trampoline. Getting your heart rate up regularly is a very healthy thing to do.

A woman running in the middle of a field.

I have a client whose family got a dog. My client was worried because she knew it would do more work for her, which it did. Of course it needed to be walked, but taking it for walks changed her life. Not only did getting out of the house and getting her heartbeat up make her feel good, she also made more friends when she was out with the dog, and we know what more friends can do for your health!

So there you go: 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier. Give them a try for week. See what a difference it makes. Let me know when it does!

Have I missed anything? Do you have something you do that makes you feel healthier daily?

Are you having trouble implementing healthy habits into your life? Do you feel guilty when you try to set aside time to make yourself feel healthier? Let’s talk.

How To Make your Husband Feel Loved: 5 Best Ideas

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Being a mom and a partner can be tough.

From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world.

Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born, you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case, and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, which can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

How To Make Your Husband Feel Loved:s

It is possible to to find ways to make your husband feel loved. Here are some ways to start!

#1 – Make sure you speak their language.

Most of us express our love for our partners the way we want to be loved. If we like hugs, we give them to our partner, hoping they will feel our love for them. Or we might give them gifts, showing them that we are attached to them.

Unfortunately, this tactic can fail because, despite our efforts, if our partner needs something different to feel loved, then our efforts will fall flat.

Fortunately, there is a tool at hand that will help you learn to understand ways to make your husband feel loved.

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. If you can understand what your partner needs to feel loved, then you can do those things instead of what you need. And they will feel loved.

I would encourage both of you should go to the 5 Love Languages website,www.5lovelanguages.com, and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

I works. Big time. I promise.

#2 – Use your words.

I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their husband that they love them and my client says, ‘ He knows that I love do. ‘

Maybe this is true, and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your husband in the eye and tell him daily that you love them.

It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful, or that you miss them. They might ‘ know it ‘ already, but words are very meaningful.

A client’s of mine never heard from her spouse when he was away, and it was very painful because she missed him. They argued about it almost every time he left, but she wasn’t clear why she wanted to hear from him, so he didn’t change his behavior. I suggested that she tell him she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone.

She says he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

So use your words to express your feelings. You will be happy you did.

#3 – Touch him.

Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person.

Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies; that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your husband.

Touch him when he walks in the door, take his hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around him when you go to sleep at night.

Touching your partner will speak volumes about your love for them.

#4 – Be kind.

I know this seems basic, but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life.

I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm that was hard to repair.

A man and woman sitting at a table with a laptop.

I have a client who came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old, and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn ‘ t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, ‘ no. ‘

She intended to be kind that day, and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom.

You know the saying, ‘ If you love someone, set them free. ‘

Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. However, this clinginess can drive someone away because your partner will resent your need to constantly have them by your side.

You should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once before we became a couple and then a family, and it ‘ s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and parent.

I know that looking for ways to make your husband feel love can feel like a lot of effort and something what will add a lot of stress to your life.

But doing so is important.

Stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner every day, as you navigate this crazy world. Pretty good.

Are you looking for ways to make your husband feel loved?

Let me help you learn some tools, NOW, before it goes too far!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

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