5 Tips For Having Both Career Success And Happiness

When we were young girls we were told that we could have it all – a husband, kids, career success and happiness. And we really believed that to be true.

And, while it can be hard work, it is possible to have it all.

Career success and happiness can go hand in hand. Here is how…

#1 – Don’t settle for a career you don’t love.

Unless your career is something that is just a means to an end and isn’t an important part of your self-worth there is NO WAY that you will find happiness in your life if you aren’t happy in your career.

If your career is important to your self worth then it’s essential that you don’t settle for a career that you don’t love.

Many of us start out in a job, any job, just so we can start to earn money. And many of us get trapped in that job, whether we like it or not, because the money is good or the prospect of going out and getting a new job is too daunting.

If you find yourself in that spot, in a career that you don’t love and that is causing your unhappiness, move heaven and earth to get out of that job and find one that you love.

Today, right now, think about what kind of career you would like to have if you were in charge of the world. Just think about it. And when you know GO FOR IT. (Let me know if I can help!)

#2 – Don’t neglect yourself.

Are you one of those people who works so hard at your career that you have stopped taking care of yourself?

Do you tell yourself that the lack of sleep or the weight gain or the hair loss (from stress) is a small price to pay for career success?

If this is you, I am guessing that your happiness level is pretty low, even if your career is going strong. Because you simply can’t be happy in your life if you aren’t taking care of yourself. You might think you are happy. But are you really?

So take the time to take care of yourself and work hard. Get some sleep, eat well, indulge yourself when you can. Taking care of you will ensure you a lot of happiness. I promise.

#3 – Don’t stop learning, both in your life and your career.

Many of us, as we settle into the grown up life of parent, spouse and career person, stop learning. We figured that we paid our dues in high school and college and that is that. No more learning required.

I would argue that learning is essential for growth and happiness and they say it keeps your brain young.

I am not saying that you need to go back to school full time but do make an effort to learn something new every day.

Are you given a project at work that you know nothing about? Dive in! Are you wondering just what is all this hype about apple cider vinegar? Get online and find out. Wondering what you can do to learn some marketing tools so that you can get that promotion? Take a seminar. Hoping for some guidance on love and relationships? Check out the 5 Love Languages.

My point is is that every day there is an opportunity to learn something new. Grab that opportunity. Use your brain. It will get you far.

#4 – Don’t lose touch with friends and family.

Are you the one who is always missing the family event because of work? Are you the one whose friends don’t invite you out for happy hour because they know that you will say no?

If you are this person I am going to plead with you to STOP.

Very old people say that at the end of their life they don’t wish that they had stayed for that one important meeting or that they could have climbed just a little higher on that corporate ladder. At the end of their lives, old people regret the times that they missed with loved ones, precious lost time that they can never get back.

So if you want career success and happiness work hard but not too hard. Your loved ones need you, and you need them for when the going gets rough.

#5 – Don’t prioritize your career over love.

This is one that I wish I would say over and over and over. I will say it one more time.

Don’t prioritize your career over love.

One career is incredibly important both for personal and financial reasons. But if you put it before your love then you will be setting yourself up for neither career success or happiness.

I have a client whose husband worked all the time, who was never home for dinner and who always missed dates with her. She tried to get him to let go of work a bit and be with her but his career was too important to him.

So she left him. And what happened next? He was alone, living in a small apartment. He had his kids every other week and that was stressful because he had to manage them and work. He didn’t have someone to come home to and support him. Everything suffered.

In the end, my client’s ex lost a promotion because of the chaos that was his life after his divorce.

On top of that, my client’s ex was lonely and sad and left wondering what he had done with this life.

So look up right now at the one you love and decide to make them a priority going forward.

Career success and happiness can definitely go hand in hand.

The key is making sure that you are doing work that you love, that you take care of yourself and that your priorities are on straight.

I love coaching more than any other career that I have had and it has brought me much personal happiness. But I know that I wouldn’t have that happiness without my health, the man sitting beside me and the kids on their way over for dinner.

So go for it. You can have it all too!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons that the Key To Career Success is CONFIDENCE Not Talent Alone

Your mentor recently told you that the key to career success is confidence not talent alone.

But how can that be? The thousands of dollars in education that you paid to acquire and polish your talent really should count for something.

And it does! But it’s not everything!

Why is confidence so important to career success? There are 5 reasons.

#1 – Without confidence your talent won’t shine.

I have a client who is a filmmaker. A very talented filmmaker. And, while she knows she can make movies, she doesn’t believe that her talent is anything special.

She submitted her movie to a film festival and it was picked up to be screened. But, when she was called on by a reporter to discuss her film, her lack of confidence was on display.

She told the reporter that her film was no better than anyone else’s and that the crew was more talented than she was and how there must have not been many submittals for the festival folks to choose hers.

And how did the reporter report my client? She didn’t. She glossed over her in her article because who wants to highlight someone who isn’t proud of her own work or sure of her part in it?

The reporter talked about other directors instead of my client and, because of this, those director’s movies were better attended at the festival.

Because she couldn’t express confidence in her work, my client’s work wasn’t able to shine.

#2 – Without confidence you won’t speak up for yourself.

I have another client who is a computer programmer and is really, really good at what she does. She has been given nothing but glowing reviews by her boss and her co-workers love her. And, up until now, she has been very happy in her work.

Recently a new employee joined the company and everything changed. This new employee was not a team player and his attitude was affecting her ability to do her work to the best of her ability. My client started really struggling.

Unfortunately, in spite of the glowing reviews and the appreciation of her peers, my client didn’t have enough confidence in herself, and in her work, to approach her co-worker about her difficulties nor did she notify her bosses that she was struggling.

As a result my client’s work continued to decline and she was eventually passed over for a promotion.

She was very good at what she did but without confidence it didn’t matter.

#3 – Without confidence you won’t pursue career opportunities.

I remember when I was young and starting out in my career. I was working in the hotel business, in the catering department of a Four Seasons Hotel in San Francisco.

I was a catering assistant, processing paperwork for the catering directors. I loved my job but also really wanted to move up and be a director.

Part of me believed that I could do it but I most of me didn’t KNOW that I could.

When a job opportunity came up I didn’t apply for the job. I told myself that I wouldn’t know what I was doing and that I would let everyone down and that I was doing just fine where I was, so why change anything.

So I didn’t. And I stayed in that job for 2 years before moving on because I was bored.

I often wonder if I would still be working at the Four Seasons if I had taken a chance on that director job. I might not have been so bored that I was forced to leave.

#4 – Without confidence you will settle for less.

Recently it was announced that Mark Wahlberg was paid $1M for the remake of a movie and his co-star Michelle Williams was paid $1K. That doesn’t seem quite fair does it?

Has this happened to you? Have you learned that a co-worker got a raise and that you did not. Or that other people in your department make more than you for the same work?

A client of mine found out that she was making less than everyone else and she wasn’t happy and was considering leaving her job because of it. I asked her why she didn’t just ask for a raise.

There must be some reason I don’t get paid as much, she said. Maybe I just don’t do as good a job as the others.

My client continued working her job but her motivation and her enthusiasm was gone and eventually she moved on.

#5 – Without confidence you won’t believe in yourself.

There isn’t one aspect of our lives that isn’t impacted by whether or not we believe in ourselves. And if we lack confidence in any of those areas we are going to struggle to succeed.

Think about your relationship? Are you confident in the love that you have for that person? Do they treat you with respect and make you a better person? Do you have confidence in yourself in the relationship, knowing that you are being true to yourself? If you do, you will succeed.

How about when you go out with your friends to climb a mountain. Do you stand at the bottom and think there is no way! Or do you have confidence in yourself that, even if you have to go slow and rest, you will get to the top of that mountain? Which attitude will ensure you succeed, do you think?

Now think about your career and your career search. Do you believe in your talents? Do you believe that any company would be lucky to have you? Do you believe that you can do any job you put your mind to?

If yes, you have exactly what it takes to succeed in business because you have the confidence to believe in yourself. The positive attitude that you can make anything happen!

How great is that?

So how do you build confidence? In life and at work?

All of the people detailed above, myself included, didn’t have the confidence in their talents that they needed to be successful at their jobs. And that is why these people became my clients because their careers were not going in the direction they had hoped.

How did I help my clients gain confidence? I suggested that they take a good hard look at their lack of belief in their talent and prove it to me.

So each client made a list, of what she was capable of and had done compared to her co-workers. Each one realized that, in fact, her talent was outstanding and stronger than the others in her workplace.

She also looked at opportunities for growth that she might have that would allow her to have more confidence in her talents.

Armed with this knowledge, and action, my clients were able to build the confidence necessary to succeed in their career, and in life.

The key to career success is confidence, not talent alone.

Many people in this world are very talented. And that talent can open up doors for them. But in order to keep the door open, and move through it valiantly, self-confidence is necessary.

So take a good hard look at what you are good at. Write it down. Compare it to others. See where you might have room for growth and development. Take action.Work to build your confidence so that you can use your talents for great success.

Once you have taken stock get out there in the world and take it by storm.

You can do it!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Organize Your Life as a Working Mom and Stay Ahead of the Chaos

Would you like to organize your life as a working mom and stay not only in the game but ahead of the chaos?

It seems daunting but it is possible! And wouldn’t it feel great?

Here are 5 suggestions for making it all happen.

#1 – Use a calendar and make a schedule.

The most important part of an organized life is a calendar and a schedule.

I have a client who, every Sunday night, sits down with her calendar and charts out EVERYTHING that is happening in the week ahead.

What do I mean by everything?

  • Her work schedule
  • Her kids’ schedule
  • Any appointments that her family might have
  • Time for herself
  • Time for her and her spouse
  • Time spent on social media
  • Anything else that might need to be accounted for

Once she makes her schedule, she underlines in RED those things that are priorities and cannot be moved.

As the week progresses she looks at her calendar daily to adjust it as necessary but if something must get moved, it gets moved immediately so that it doesn’t fall off her calendar and get forgotten.

She makes her calendar, she keeps it with her, she updates it regularly and makes it the blueprint of her life.

#2 – Stick to your schedule, no matter what happens at work.

The most important part of having a calendar is sticking to it. And I know, as a working mom, that can be very hard to do.

One thing I ask my clients: what is the one thing in your life that everything else revolves around? What is that one non-negotiable thing on your calendar?

Almost without exception, my clients answer WORK. They say that because they are reporting to a boss, and getting paid for it, they will sacrifice other things that might be a part of their week if work demands dictate that they do.

Is this you? Do you choose to work instead of meeting your other obligations?

If so, consider this: can you view some other things in your week, like you time or time with your spouse, as things that are as important as work and that you will not put aside for any reason.

Can you do this in spite of the fact that you aren’t getting paid and reporting to someone else?

This is the key to organizing your life as a working mom and staying ahead of the chaos. To understand that some obligations are as non-negotiable as work and that putting them to the side just can’t happen.

#3 – Plan meals ahead of time.

A HUGE part of staying organized is planning and making meals ahead of time.

I remember, when my kids were young, deciding what to make every night was the hardest part of my day. I always felt that if someone else told me what to cook, making it would be easy. It was the deciding that was hard.

I suggest making a meal plan for the whole week, including lunches, over breakfast on Sunday morning. And from that meal plan make your shopping list so that you have all of the ingredients that you need for the week.

Ideally, you then get your partner to go to the grocery store but that is negotiable!

If you plan your menus ahead of time, and do the shopping as well, you will carve out a big piece of your day, every day, to get other things done.

#4 – Get help.

It is essential for working moms to get help where they need it.

Some moms need help keeping the house clean or cooking dinner or taking the kids to appointments. So if you need it, get it! Find someone to help you clean or cook or drive.

It’s really okay to not do everything yourself.

If a babysitter or a cleaning lady is not in your budget, figure out some other way to get help. Your partner and your kids are the most obvious first choices in the help department. They can all help with the cooking and the cleaning and the chauffeuring. They may complain but they CAN do it!

You can also call on your friends to support you and you can support them as well. When my kids were young, the moms all took turns after school taking the kids to various activities. Each of us committed 1 day a week to being the driver, leaving the other 4 days after school open for work or other things.

Either way, you working moms DON’T have to do everything yourselves. Ask for help. You will be glad you did.

#5 – Build in time for you.

Believe it or not, this is the most important piece of how to organize your life as a working mom.

Everyone needs time for themselves. EVERYONE. Just because you are a working mom it doesn’t mean that you get to sacrifice your mental health for the sake of everyone else.

As a matter of fact, doing so is not good for anyone and will definitely make it difficult to stay ahead of the chaos. Remember the old adage: “A happy mom means a happy family.” It’s more true now than ever.

So make an effort every week to build some ‘you time’ into your schedule. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time. A few minutes in the morning before everyone wakes up. A 20 minute walk outside at lunch time. A few minutes of social media as you wait to pick up the kids from school.

When my kids were little, 3 nights a week were nights when I took a bath. For 45 minutes I was in my bathtub with my People magazine and the door was locked and I had ‘me time’. My husband dealt with whatever had to be dealt with. That time was life changing for me. I was able to take a deep breath and then step back into my life refreshed.

I am guessing that you are eager to organize your life as a working mom. You might feel like you are constantly treading water, just keeping your head up to keep from drowning.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Get a calendar, make a schedule, stick to it, plan ahead, ask for help and take care of yourself along the way.

The chaos will always be out there…how you manage it will help you stay ahead of it.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Why True Career Success Begins With Knowing Yourself

You know that woman you want to be? The one who seems to have the career of her dreams? What does she have that you don’t? Probably nothing. Because the key to true career success begins with knowing yourself.

Of course, knowing yourself is the key to success in every area of one’s life. Unless you really know who you are, what you are good at and what you want you can never truly succeed.

This is especially true for achieving career success.

So why does true career success begin with knowing yourself?

#1 – Because you will avoid unfulfilling jobs and choose a career path in which you will thrive.

If you know yourself you will know what kind of career you will matches your strengths and passion.

If you know yourself you will know what you are good at. Are you a big thinker or perhaps better at fine details? Are you creative or more analytical?

If you know yourself you will know what your passions are. Are you inspired to help other people? Are you drawn to the arts or to the sciences? What makes you really want to get out of bed in the morning?

If you know yourself you know that if you don’t bring your best, most passionate self to any career you won’t succeed.

#2 – Because you will have confidence that you will get the job done.

If you know yourself you will have the self-confidence necessary to get a job done and get it done well.

If you know yourself you will know what you are good at and what you are passionate about and you will choose a career path that will align with what you know. As a result, you will have no doubt about your ability to get things done.

Furthermore, a self-confident woman is a force to be reckoned in the workplace because she can hold her own in a man’s world, no easy feat in many cases.

#3 – Because you will achieve work/life balance.

If you know yourself you will more easily achieve a work/life balance, a key to career success.

For many years it was believed that the harder we worked the more successful we became. And, while hard work is very important, so is having a quality life outside of work.

If you know yourself then you will be able to look at your career and your personal life, define what are priorities for you and make them happen.

Is it important to you that you get some exercise every day? Is it important that you be the first one into work in the morning? Is it important that you get home in time for dinner? Is it important that you go out one night a week with your co-workers?

If you know yourself you will more readily be able to define what you need for success in all areas of your life and make a plan to make sure that all of your needs are met.

#4 – Because you will know how much you can handle.

If you know yourself then you will have a clear understanding of just how much work you can handle.

Many women are guilty of biting off more then they can chew because they believe that they are the only one who can get the job done and get it done well.

If you know yourself you will have a clear understanding of how much you can take on without overwhelming yourself. This is important because if you are overwhelmed you won’t get the job done well and you will not be able to achieve good work/life balance.

And if you know how much work you can manage successfully then you will be more likely to achieve career success.

#5 – Because you will know your value in the workplace.

If you know yourself you will have a clear understanding of the value that you bring to your workplace.

If you know yourself you have a hold of your financial needs and therefore can make some good decisions regarding the work that you do.

Many of us take on jobs that do not give us the financial security that we need. As a result, we either take on another job or we live with the knowledge that we are barely making ends meet. Neither one of these things are conducive to getting a job done well.

So be clear with yourself as to what you need to live in the manner to which you are accustomed. And don’t be afraid to speak up to the powers that be about what you are worth.

A woman who knows herself knows her value to her employers and isn’t afraid to say it.

True career success begins with knowing yourself.

Before you begin your job search take some time to inventory yourself. What are you good at? What are your passions?

Armed with this information you will have the self-confidence to go forth in the world and find work at which you will succeed.

Once you have the job of your dreams, if you who know yourself, you will take on no more than you can handle so that you have a work/life balance that will allow you to succeed in all areas of you life.

So get to know yourself TODAY. You will be happy you did!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

The Most Meaningful Career Success Advice For Women

A client recently asked me what was the best career success advice for women that I could share with her.

She was a young woman in her mid-20s and just starting out. I have had 30 years out in the work world and she wanted my insight.

After some reflection, I realized that there are 5 pieces of career success advice that I would give any young women as she takes on the crazy world of career building.

#1 – Be self-aware.

The most important part of career success is to know who you are and what you want to do.

Many of us just fall into jobs. Our parents encourage us in one direction, our friends in another. Or perhaps we decide to take a job just because it pays well. Sometimes we take a job thinking that it will be temporary while we figure out what we really want to do.

And then we find ourselves stuck. Stuck in a job that we hate.

Let me tell you that if you don’t have a job that you LOVE you will have a hard time achieving career success.

Take the time before you embark on your career search to examine what you want to be doing for the rest of your life by asking yourself a few questions:

What are your best skills and the ones you most enjoy doing?
What kinds of work interests you the most?
How important is making a lot of money?
Do you feel like you want to help change the world?
How important is work/life balance?

Once you have the answers to these questions you can start your job search with a clear vision of what kind of work you want. And getting the job of your dreams is an excellent beginning to achieving career success.

#2 – Be brave.

I know that this might seem weird in 2017 but many women in the workplace still have a hard time advocating for themselves.

Sheryl Sandberg writes in her book Lean In ‘that women keep themselves from advancing because they don’t have the self-confidence and drive that men do.’

I am not sure that I completely agree with this statement but I know that some elements of it are true.

As women our tendency is to hang back and observe, to reflect before we speak and sometimes to not speak at all. Women are more cautious. Women don’t apply for promotions unless they fit the profile perfectly and are less likely than men to ask for a well-deserved raise.

It is important that women in the workplace today don’t hang back. It is important that women identify who they want to be in the workplace and what they want and go after it with a vengeance.

They must speak up and lead, even in the face of men who might try to push against them. They must believe, deep down, that they CAN do this job and that they will succeed.

#3 – Be honest.

It is important in all areas of life, but especially in the career world, to be honest. Honest with yourself and with others.

First of all, we must be honest with ourselves. Are we doing our best at work? Are we taking responsibility for getting our job done well and when things go awry are we accepting the blame for our errors? Are we honest with our feelings about our boss and our co-workers? Are we honest about how we feel our careers align with our morals and values? Are we clear that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and our families?

We must also be honest with our co-workers. So many women take on more than they can handle because they don’t believe that anyone else can do it as well as they can. As a result, many women are overworked and overwhelmed.

It is important that we allow ourselves to delegate and share, when necessary, and if our co-workers can’t do the work up to company standards then we must be honest with them and show them how to get things done correctly.

Career success is achieved when women know that they are doing the best job that they can do and that they are doing only their job, not the jobs of others. Being honest will prevent overwhelm and enable you to get the recognition that you deserve in the workplace and thereby achieve heightened career success.

#4 – Be forward thinking.

It is so easy to become focused on the day-to-day happenings at work that we stop looking forward to the big picture.

Yes, you have your job but your job is part of the larger workplace. How does your job fit in that workplace? What can you do to be more of an asset to that workplace? How could your job expand in the future to include more responsibility and contribution? Is there a future for you outside of this job? Do you have a plan to get there?

It is important that you always keep your head up at work and are forward thinking. Career success will be achieved when you have an idea and a goal and you have a clear plan to work towards it.

#5 – Be a woman.

Many women believe that in order to be considered equals to men in the workplace we need to act like men. Back in the 70s and 80s, when women were entering the workforce, they wore suits to work, so that they could appear more manly.

Suits are mostly a thing of the past these days but still women tend to try to act like men in the workplace in order to get ahead.

I believe that, rather then act like men, women need to use their skills as a woman to achieve career success.

Women are intuitive. Women can multi-task. Women are excellent communicators. Women are big picture planners. Women have the ability to connect with people on a personal level. Women know how to fly under the radar and get the job done.

So now you see. A woman possesses all of the skills that she needs to be more than successful in her career. She just needs to pull them out of her toolbox and use them. Every day.

Getting meaningful career success advice is vital for any woman entering the workforce.

Women like to get things done, quickly and efficiently, but in the workplace it is essential to look to more experienced women to help them make a plan and achieve success.

Women have all of the skills necessary to achieve that same career success as men they just have to be prepared to use them and use them well. And then, when they add their feminine superpowers to the mix, the sky is the limit.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

How To Achieve Career Success and Love Your Life

Do you sometimes ask yourself how to achieve career success AND love your life?

Your career is very important to you. You are working hard to climb the ladder at work and you are relishing your success. You like the recognition and love the money and feel like you have it all. Or do you?

Being successful, and the things that come with it, are important to you but you don’t want those things at the expense of your happiness.

We only have one life to live and it’s important to live it well, after all.

So, how to achieve career success and love your life? Here are 5 important things to consider in order to do so.

#1 – Choose a career that you love.

Success is important yes but it’s only one part of your career. It’s important to choose a career that you love.

We spend a significant portion of our life at work and in order to love our life we need to love our work. If you are successful at a job you hate then you will spend the majority of time doing something that makes you unhappy.

So choose carefully. Take some time to inventory what is important to you at work. Is it the industry you work in? The quality of the workplace? The amount of independence you are given? If the things that are important to you aren’t part of your every day work life then change it up.

Sharpen your resume and get ready for change!

#2 – Schedule time every day to love yourself.

I know. This is easier said than done. You get up at the crack of dawn to get everyone out the door. You hit the ground running at work and don’t stop until it’s time to get everyone gathered and fed and put to bed. And then you do the same thing the next day.

It’s really, really important that you take a break somewhere in your day and do something for yourself. It doesn’t have to be everyday but it has to be regularly.

Taking care of yourself will not only make you a better employee, and therefore more successful, but it will allow you to take care of yourself, a key piece to living a life you love.

What could you do for yourself? You could take a walk. Or a yoga class. You could schedule time with friend for lunch. You could sit in the shade somewhere and watch videos about cute cats. Whatever it is that makes you feel good and like yourself again.

How do you fit that into your day? Put it on your schedule! In red. It’s the thing that is non-negotiable. That can’t be changed for a meeting. If it’s on your calendar you are more likely to get it done!

#3 – Continue learning, for your career and your life.

For many of us we achieve career success and then we just rest on our laurels and then let life happen around us. We finish college and wipe our hands of anymore classroom time. Thank goodness it’s done!

It’s important that we keep learning, both personally and professionally. This could mean taking courses or attending seminars that could advance your career. It could mean taking a pottery class. It could mean reading a book about a new subject. It could mean taking up crossword puzzles.

The goal with learning something new is to keep your brain active and young. This will promote growth in your career and happiness in your life!

#4 – Keep in touch with friends and family.

It is so easy in our crazy, career filled days to fall out of touch with our friends and family. We tend to take our friends and families for granted, assuming that they will always be there. And usually they are, at least for a while.

Connection with friends and family is very important and neglecting them can make life a much less enjoyable place. In your absence, life goes on and you miss out on it. Birthday parties, cookouts, shopping trips and school events all happen with or without you.

Ask yourself what would life be like without your family and friends? Would all of the career success be worth it?

Part of loving your life is loving your peeps. So take the time to spend time with everyone, either individually or as a group. You will be glad you did.

#5 – Don’t put your career over your love life.

Love is one of the fundamental pieces of living a life that you love. And it is often the first thing that is neglected in the pursuit of career success.

We know our person is there, and we assume that they will always be there, so we stop tending the relationship. And the consequences can, again, be disastrous.

Also, the most successful people in this world have a loved one would supports them. Think Bill and Melinda Gates. Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan. Both members of these uber-successful couples say they couldn’t have done it without the love and support of their partner.

So make a huge effort to spend time with the one you love, to make time where there is none.

Before it’s too late. Because without love in one’s life it’s hard to love one’s life.

When I was little I was taught that I could have it ALL. Work and love and a family. For many women that is the goal. To achieve career success and love your life.

And it IS POSSIBLE. It requires a lot attention and effort but you can do it!

Choose a career you love, take care of yourself and those around you and never stop learning. These are all key pieces of having it all.

Go for it! You can do it!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Thrive in the Face of Change – Even If You Just Want to Run Screaming

Change. You either love it or you hate it.

Many people hate it. The prospect of a new job, moving to a new house, leaving a relationship or buying a new car can make those who resist change want to run for the hills.

I love change.

I have spent much of my life changing things up. I have lived in San Francisco, Maine, Tokyo, Athens, Boulder, Vermont, Sydney and NYC. Since I graduated from college I have lived in 17 different homes and have worked in the hotel business, the food industry, retail management, real estate sales and now I am a life coach. I have been divorced and lived through my kids going off to college.

I am the person I am today because of opportunities for change that were presented to me throughout my life, ones I chose to pursue. And I love the person who I am today.

They say that people who choose change are happier for it. The process can be messy but once you get through it life just might be what you have always wanted it to be.

I am here today to help you get through that change, so that you can live the life of your dreams.

Here it is, my latest. 5 Ways to Thrive in the Face of Change – Even If You Just Want to Run Screaming.

#1 – Don’t forget to breathe.

When presented with the possibility of change many people freeze up. The prospect is so terrifying that their body actually reacts as it would if faced with the specter of death. And then they run, run for their lives, from that change.

This is when it’s important to remember to breathe. Without breath neither your brain nor your heart can function and making rational choices is impossible.

Think about when you drive by a tractor-trailer on the highway. It’s a scary prospect and you start thinking of all the things that can go wrong. And you hold your breath in anticipation of those things. Next time, try taking a deep breath right before you pass that truck. The breath will calm your body and clear your mind and you will pass it with ease.

It’s the same with change. Try it now. Inhale for 3 seconds, out for 5. Repeat as needed. Your heartbeat will slow and your mind will clear. Very helpful.

#2 – Remember change is GOOD.

Many people are so unaccustomed to change that the prospect seems unbearable. This new thing is going to come in and shake up their lives and they don’t think they can survive it.

But this just isn’t true. We can survive anything. And research shows that most people who make a big change are happier on the other side. Happier. Sounds pretty good, right?

Think about a time earlier in your life when you faced major change. Now think about how you went about it and what the end result was. Was your life ultimately a better place because of that change? Even if things were really messy along the way? Think carefully.

The process can be difficult, and we will address that, but picture yourself on the other side of that change. Life will be different, yes. But that is not necessarily a bad thing.

#3 – Gather information.

One of the most important pieces of thriving in the face of change is the gathering of information. It is impossible to make a smart move without the right information.

It’s time to make a list – a list of all of the positive things and all of the challenging things about your potential change.

If you are moving will it mean a bigger house? Better weather? A longer drive to school or work? An acre lawn to mow?

If it’s a new job will it be better hours or pay? Will the dress code be challenging? Will your boss be someone much younger than you?

Once you have your list of your perceived pluses and minuses address each minus individually.

A smaller house might seem a minus but really a smaller house means less house to clean which would give you more time to do something fun instead.

A younger boss might seem a minus but really a younger boss could teach you some new skills for the ever-evolving workplace. And the fact that you are older could mean built in respect because of the years of working experience you bring to the table.

For every one thing that seems like negative there is a corresponding positive. You just need to identify what those things are. Once you do you will feel ready to face real, substantial change.

#4 – No negative self talk.

We are our own worst enemies. In the face of change our brains tell us that we just can’t do it. That we aren’t smart enough or strong enough or that the change will destroy us.

Again, this just isn’t true.

I have a client who has been given an amazing job opportunity. It has been literally placed at her feet and is hers for the taking. And she is struggling to accept it.

She thinks two things:

  1. That people will judge her for changing jobs AGAIN after just two years in her current position.
  2. That she will fail.

I asked her what she would think if she heard of someone switching jobs after 2 years. She said she would think “Wow. That person is really moving up in the world. She is being recognized for her successes. Good for her.”

I asked her to list for me all the reasons that she would fail. Try as she might she couldn’t name one reason. Her brain had been telling her that she would but she couldn’t prove to me that what her brain was saying was true.

Again, our brains can make us our own worst enemies. Recognize that and talk back to that brain. Don’t let it and it’s pesky untruths hold you back.

#5 – Get excited about the possibilities.

Take a good look at that list that you made. Of all of the possibilities that your future holds.

Change is a scary thing but really it is also so exciting. You get a chance to do things differently, to re-invent yourself, to maybe experience things that you haven’t before.

The first steps will most likely be difficult, and scary, but once you get started the sky is the limit. It’s like starting out on a hiking trail and looking up. You wonder how the hell will you get up to the top. And then, when you do, after a fair amount of huffing and puffing, it’s just amazing. The sky is blue and you can see forever. And looking down you can see how far you have come and feel pretty damn proud of yourself.

So there you go. 5 Ways to Thrive in the Face of Change.

I am not saying that the prospect of change isn’t scary and overwhelming. It is scary and will be overwhelming. What I am saying is to embrace it, to look at it as a positive thing even if your first reaction is “not so much.”

In my last blog I wrote about getting divorced. A friend of mine said he was jealous. How lucky was I that I was getting a chance for a reboot at 46 years old. And that’s what I got. The reboot itself was rather painful but I was given a new beginning and my life is now amazing. Truly.

I wish this kind of happiness on everyone I know and love. Take a risk. It will be worth it!

Are you struggling with change in your life? Contact me. I can help!

Have you survived and thrived in the face of change? I would love to hear your story!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Actions to Take Now Labor Day Has Come and Gone – Even If It Feels Like Tomorrow Is Just Another Day

There are two days of the year that mark major times of transition – Labor Day and New Year’s Day.

Both days mark the end of a season and the beginning of a period when things begin to shift. Both days are full of the possibilities of great things to come.

It’s important not to let this time of transition slip by you without standing still and taking note. Times of transition are when important things happen. Who wants to miss out on that?

So pay attention. Life is short. Don’t let it pass you by. Here is my latest…

5 Actions to Take Now Labor Day Has Come and Gone.

 

#1 – Take a deep breath.

Summer is always a crazy time. School is out and routines are broken. The weather is great and you just want to be outside. There are BBQs with friends and family reunions. The kids are out of school and you are all running around from activity to activity.

And now it’s over. It is important that you pause, if only for a moment but hopefully more, and take a deep breath.

Think about your summer. What was joyous and what was not so much. Think about time spent with family and friends. Think about the conversations and the insights and the experiences that you had.

Remember, consider and relish the summer of 2016.

Why? Because what happened this summer could very well influence what comes next for you. In many ways, you are not the same person you were on July 4th.

#2 – Choose a room and clean it out.

Nothing helps clear the head during times of transition like cleaning out a room. Something about the energy of throwing away all that stuff works wonders for gaining some clarity and vision.

So choose a room, the laundry room, your closet, your garage. Allot a few hours on a Saturday and go at it.

Choose a corner of the room, garbage bag in hand and start throwing things away. Things that you aren’t using, that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things that you are still using and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren’t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing, or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it’s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for the role that it played in your life and then say goodbye.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process. Don’t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room.

When you are done notice where you are. You will feel lighter, more clearheaded about what you want. And later on, if you start to feel overwhelmed, visit that cleaned out room. You will be glad you did.

#3 – Take a good hard look at what you want for your life.

Every year at New Years we make resolutions. Resolutions about how things are going to be different this year. We will be happier. We will be nicer to our spouses. We will excel at work.

More often than not those resolutions fall by the wayside.

One big reason that resolutions fail is that we make those resolutions without looking at how they really fit into the life we have. Can we just decide to be happier? To be nicer to our spouse? To be more patient at work? Not so much.

To stick to a resolution you have to define how you can make change within the parameters of your life. To be happier you need to know what makes you unhappy. To be nicer to your spouse you need to examine why you aren’t nice to them now. And why ARE you so impatient with your co-workers?

Take some time and really identify where you are in your life. Are you living a life that makes you happy? That makes you proud? That is consistent with the life goals that you set for yourself back when you were younger?

Make resolutions for the fall. And examine how you can make them stick. Remember, now is your time.

#4 – Make a list of what next steps to take.

A big part of keeping your resolutions is making a list of what will help you stick to them. To live the life of your dreams.

Would being happier mean that you spend an hour a day painting? Or perhaps mentoring a child in need? Or dancing around the kitchen before dinner?

What would have to happen for you to be nicer to your spouse? Would identifying what makes you unkind be a good first step? Would taking a deep breath before speaking help? Perhaps recognizing that you need to take a bigger approach and seek counseling?

And what about your patience at work? Is it a pesky co-worker or boss? Is it boredom or frustration? Would working on your resume so you can transition to a new job make it better?

Make a list. Think about those resolutions and picture how you can make them happen in your life. And then write it down. And then read it. And then take action.

You can do it!

#5 – Do something really fun for yourself.

Yes, I have challenged you to do reach for some lofty goals. And I really hope you will take me up on the challenge.

But first, do something for yourself. Something that really makes your heart sing. It can be anything.

Re-read the whole Harry Potter series. Buy every kind of Ben and Jerry’s and try a new flavor every night. Go to Victoria’s Secret and buy yourself something that makes you feel great. Take your car out on a back road and drive fast, sun-roof open, music blaring.

The sky is the limit. And it’s yours for the taking.

So there you go…. my 5 Actions to Take Now Labor Day Has Come and Gone.

Summer was wonderful and is now over. Fall, and winter, approach.

Take the time to look at your life and make sure you are on the path to living your dreams. But also make sure you take care of yourself along the way.

Remember. You only have one life to live. Make sure that it’s the life you have always wanted. Full of joy, purpose and love.

Looking for more ideas about living the life of your dreams? Contact me now and lets get started.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Every Woman Needs to Vote – Even if the Options Are Not So Appealing

The 2016 presidential election is one great big mess. Americans have the choice to vote for one of the two least popular candidates in modern history. Not good.

I have spoken with many women how have said that they just aren’t going to vote. I always respond “But you have to!”

According to exit polls, 53 percent of people who voted in the 2012 election were women. In most states there are more women than men registered to vote and there is a much higher turnout rate for women at the polls.

These numbers mean power. And it’s time for women to wield that power. Here it is, my latest… 

5 Reasons Every Woman Needs to Vote.

 

#1 – To honor the women who came before.

The battle for a woman’s right to vote started in the early 1800s with Susan B. Anthony and Lucretia Mott, among others, working hard to establish women’s equality with men.

For almost 100 years women fought for that equality, part of which was the right to vote. They were humiliated and discriminated against, the subject of derision and sometimes violence for their efforts. They didn’t give up. Even when they were imprisoned and forced to hunger strike these women fought on.

It wasn’t until 1920 that the 19th Amendment, granting women the right to vote, was passed by the US government. Even so, many states didn’t ratify the amendment for years. Mississippi didn’t do so until 1984, 60 years later and only 32 years ago.

32 years ago women in Mississippi could not vote.

Don’t take the right to vote for granted. It was hard fought for and we women need to exercise our right proudly.

#2 – To honor the women we are now.

There is much being said these days about the persistent lack of equality for women in the world. Women make less money on the dollar than men in the workplace. Women who are ambitious are labeled “bitches.” Women are discriminated against for getting pregnant or for having to take care of children. Women are subjected to emotional and physical abuse at the hands of bosses and husbands.

It is time for this to end. And it will only end if we women take a stand.

In her book, Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg talks about how women are held back but also how we hold ourselves back. She makes the argument that women need to advocate more for themselves, to believe themselves equal to men, to not allow discrimination to hold them back from anything

She says that it is up to us to change our stars. No one else will do it for us.

Voting is one way for us to do this, to “Lean In.”  We have the right to vote. We have the right to have a say in the politics of our nation. We have the right to use our voices, the voices we often only whisper with, to bring about real change.

#3 – Because every vote counts.

I know it doesn’t seem that way. Presidents have been elected in spite of the fact that they didn’t win the popular vote. But your vote matters, particularly in your home state.

Each state has a different number of electoral votes and that number is based on the total of all of it’s representatives in Congress, both in the House of Representatives and in the Senate. A candidate needs 270 of those electoral votes to win the presidency.

In most states for a candidate to win that state, and it’s corresponding electoral votes, he or she must receive the majority of it’s popular vote. This is where your vote counts. Your vote will contribute towards a candidate winning, or losing, a state which will in turn determine the outcome of the presidential campaign.

If you don’t cast your vote your candidate could lose your state and, maybe, ultimately, the presidency.

#4 – Because important women’s issues are now at stake.

Right now, more than ever, there are important women’s issues at stake and the next president could have a huge hand in which direction those women’s issues go.

At issue right now is:
*A woman’s right to access Planned Parenthood
*Paid family leave
*Income equality
*Minimum wage increases
*Debt free education

The outcome of all of these issues will have a huge impact on our lives and the lives of our daughters and granddaughters. We can’t just sit back and think that “everyone else” will take care of this. We need to exercise our right to make a real difference. By voting.

#5 – To set a good example for our children.

I remember in 1976 my mother taking me with her to vote. It was the year that Jimmy Carter was running against Gerald Ford. This was not a campaign that had electrified the nation.

I remember driving to the voting booth and my mother telling me about my great-grandmother (and namesake) who fought for the right to vote and how her lawyer husband fought alongside her (and got her out of jail when she was imprisoned). She impressed upon me the importance of voting out of respect for our grandmothers and those who fought alongside them.

I went into the voting booth with her and watched her cast her vote. And we got “I VOTED” stickers afterwards, which was huge.

Our children increasingly take the right to vote for granted and they are increasingly disillusioned by modern politics. It is important for us to teach them, to demonstrate for them, how important this fundamental American right is.

And how by doing so they can make a real difference in the world.

So there you go…5 Reasons Every Woman Needs to Vote.

Every American has the right to vote and that right shouldn’t be ignored or dismissed or taken for granted. Without it our country would be a different place.

And we women, we have the power to change things. In so many ways. Voting is one of them. So get out and vote this year.

Let’s change the world!

Looking for more ideas about how to change your world? Contact me and let’s make it happen!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Make a Career Change – Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed

You know that you want a career change. You have known it for a long time but the prospect of actually doing it is daunting.

There are so many ifs, ands and buts about switching jobs and getting started is the hardest one. Where will I go? Will I have to take less money? Will anyone even hire me?

And then you think, “Maybe I should just stay in the job I have now.”

No! To move to a new job or career you just have to start at the beginning. 

Here are my 5 Ways to Make a Career Change, Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed.

#1 – Do your research.

This is the most important place to start. Doing your research is essential to getting yourself going. So many of us get stuck in the same old job because we have no idea what our options are.

See what sort of jobs are out there that you might be interested in, whether in your industry or in another industry.

See what jobs are in alignment with your skillset. You have lots of skills that you have acquired over the years, skills that could be useful in a variety of industries.

Research the industries you are interested in, even if it’s the one you already work in. Things change so quickly these days and it’s important to stay up to date if you are going to be putting yourself out there.

Information is power, especially when it comes to a job search.

#2 – Update your resume and your cover letter.

This is very important. Whether you have been in the same job for 3 years or 30, an updated resume and cover letter are essential. And using the correct format is essential.

Resumes and cover letters these days are no longer read by potential employers but rather scanned. There are so many applicants for jobs that that is all potential employers have time to do.

Make your resume and cover letter succinct and to the point, very clearly highlighting your skills and experience. Use dot whacks not full sentences for easy scanning. Put your most relevant skills near the top of your resume as many employers don’t get more than a quarter of the way down the page before they move on.

Never, ever, ever indicate anywhere that you are lacking skills. You might be but you don’t need to tell your potential employer before it is absolutely necessary, if ever.

#3 – Apply, apply, apply.

Once you have your resume up to date start applying.

There are a variety of sites where jobs are posted. Locate the ones in your industry and check them daily. The same with companies that you are interested in working for. They post their jobs in the human resources section of their websites. Checking them regularly will ensure that you don’t miss out on any opportunities.

Don’t hold back. Apply for any jobs that interest you. There are so many job applicants these days that it might take some time before you get a callback. Or not, because your resume is awesome!

Another important thing to do is reach out to your contacts. The best way to get an interview is through a personal recommendation. So use those contacts. That’s what they are there for.

#4 – Brush up on your interview skills.

How long has it been since you have had a job interview? A year? 10 years? Interviewing can be like riding a bike in that you remember how to even if you haven’t for a while but practicing will make sure you don’t fall off.

When you land an interview take a few minutes and consider some questions that they might ask you. Think about what you might answer and practice speaking those answers out loud. Work with a friend or with your mirror. But do it! Practice…

#5 – Don’t give up!

Again, like #1, this is key.

Applying for a job can be frustrating and disheartening. There are so many people out there applying for jobs and it can be hard to stand up and be noticed.

But you will be. Put your best self out there as often as you can and you will be discovered and given the opportunity to shine.

Don’t give up until you get the job of your dreams.

So there you go: 5 Ways to Make a Career Change, Even if the Prospect Leaves You Paralyzed.

No one should be stuck in a job that they have outgrown. Don’t let indecision and the unknown hold you back from looking for a new job.

Just start at the beginning and before you know it you will be on your way.

Looking for more ways to successfully change your career? Contact me now and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!