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5 Ways to be Happier Quickly – Even if Your Default is Usually Crabbiness

We all just want to be happy. That is the life goal. It has been proven that when people are happy their health improves, their skin brightens, their attention span strengthens and they have more success at work and at home.

All of that sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

But how, in this chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting world, do we find happiness? It seems like such a long-term goal, something we have to really work towards, not something that is accessible right now.

I am here to tell you that you can be happier NOW, just by tweaking a few things in your life.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways to be Happier Quickly – Even if Your Default is Usually Crabbiness.

#1 – Forget positivity. Focus on the negative.

Everyone tells us these days that in order to be happy we must practice mindfulness, live in the moment, focus on the positive. While those ideas have their place, I think that the best way to be happier is by focusing on our negative thoughts.

You know those thoughts. The ones that tell you that you are worthless or ugly or un-loveable? Yes those ones. They aren’t comfortable in our body and yet how easily they settle in for a long visit.

Try this. Next time you tell yourself that you are un-loveable pull out a piece of paper and write a list of everyone who loves you. When you tell yourself you are ugly go look at your profile picture on Facebook, you know that one in which you look AWESOME. When you tell yourself you are worthless call your mother. She will remind you how worthless you are not.

I suggest that if we push back against, argue with, those negative thoughts it will bring about quicker change than focusing on the positive.

Because, really, it’s very hard to access those positive thoughts when we are unhappy. The negative ones, however, are right there for the plucking.

#2 – Smile.

Smiling seems like such a small thing but it’s not. Did you know that when we use the muscles in our face to form a smile instead of a frown we actually change our chemistry, releasing dopamine into our system which allows for an immediately improved mood.

I know that when my kids were little and I was drowning in the chaos that was my life, smiling at them made my day just a little brighter, if only for a few minutes. And then I smiled at them again because I just couldn’t resist and there I was, happy again. So I did it all day long. Or tried to.

#3 – Lots of lovin’.

Yes, I know. Sex is great. Really great. But what I am talking about here is physical affection.

Did you know that hugging is one of the best things you can do in your life, for a variety of reasons. A brief hug produces oxytocin which helps reduce anxiety. A prolonged hug produces serotonin which leads to increased happiness. Hugging relaxes the muscles and reduces tension. Skin to skin contact calms down the nervous system.

So hug your friends, your kids, your family members, someone who looks sad. Hug away. It’s quick and painless.

That being said, a good orgasm releases enough dopamine to guarantee you 5-7 hours of happiness. Really.

#4 – Watch a scary movie or an action flick. Or go skydiving.

So this is an interesting thing. Whenever I am feeling blue I love to watch The Walking Dead. I know. And yes, I am a grown woman. I never understood why until recently.

When we watch a scary movie or an action flick our body actually produces adrenaline and that rush of adrenaline makes us happier. When I watch The Walking Dead I get a full hour dose of adrenaline which can last me well into the night.

Skydiving, helicopter skiing and swimming with sharks have the same results but they aren’t quite as accessible on a Wednesday night after work. But definitely try them as well if presented with the opportunity.

#5 – Give back. In big ways and small.

Really it doesn’t take much to give back to the world.

We all have excuses about why we can’t volunteer – that we are “just too busy” is usually the first one that comes out of our mouths.

But, really, you can give back to the world, every day, in small ways.

Last week I ran into a woman on the streets of NYC. It was early morning and we were walking our dogs. I complimented her on her clogs, footwear that is rarely seen here in the city. We chatted about clogs for a bit and I bid her good morning. She said that me reaching out to her “made her day.” That I made her feel good made me feel good.

So reach out to someone everyday. That crabby person running the register, smile at them. Open the door for someone, just because. Make (or buy) cookies and bring them to work.

Just thinking about doing good can make all the difference. Doesn’t it just make you feel good thinking about bringing cookies to work? For many reasons….

So there you go, my 5 Ways to be Happier Quickly.

We all just want to be happy. And I would encourage you to reach out to me, the ultimate life coach, to help you work towards that goal. But there are things that you can do in the meantime, right now, to elevate your mood.

Whoever designed human beings installed mechanisms for maintaining mood and keeping us healthy and alive. We modern humans have a tough time accessing those mechanisms because we have forgotten they are there.

I have just reminded you. Go forth and use them. Be happy.

Looking for ways to be happier? Contact me and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Small Things to Be Grateful For – Even When Life Is Getting You Down

Two weeks ago my sister had an emergency appendectomy and I have spent most of my time since then with her in Connecticut.

My sister has two teenage boys, two dogs, a coop full of chickens, a husband and a preschool to run. She cannot drive or lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for two weeks. So here I am. Being her.

That I can do this, take some time off from my life in NYC to help her out, makes me feel very grateful. Grateful that I have the kind of career that allows me flexibility with where and when I work. If I couldn’t be here my sister’s illness would have had a far greater impact on her family so I know she is grateful as well.

These past weeks have got me thinking about all of the things that I am grateful for in this world. There are many things, big and small, that I so appreciate. Life can be challenging and if it wasn’t for the little things it would at times seem unbearable. Here is my latest…

5 Small Things to be Grateful For – Even when Life is Getting You Down.

 

#1 – Comfort Food

We all have it. That certain something that we love to eat. That something that we fantasize about if the day is going very badly.

For me it’s Thai food. Whenever I am having a bad day I promise myself at the end of the day some Pad Thai will be part of my evening. The prospect actually calms me down immediately and lifts my spirits.

And of course, the chocolate pudding that I eat for dessert doesn’t hurt either.

And for that I am grateful.

#2 – Smiles

Think about that morning when everything went wrong. You woke up late, there was no hot water, your coffee was cold, you had nothing to wear. Really your day was gonna suck.

And then you take the elevator down to the lobby and walk out onto the street, your sunglasses on, prepared to fight the world. You round the corner and almost run into a complete stranger, a complete stranger who smiles broadly and says good morning. Reflexively you smile back.

It changes your whole day.

The actual act of smiling, the use of the muscles to turn your mouth upwards, has been proven to lift your mood. I know that when my kids were little and I was feeling overwhelmed just smiling at them made me feel better.

And for that I am grateful.

#3 – The Sun and the Moon

Imagine the world without the sun. Imagine not being able to turn your face up to it and feel immediately warmed. Imagine a world without flowers or grass or hummingbirds. Imagine a world where it is always dark. How lucky are we that have the sun and all the warmth and beauty it brings?

And then there’s the moon. There is nothing like looking up at the night sky and seeing that brilliant light shining down, the orb passing through it’s nightly phases, to truly strike awe. When it’s full it can turn the night into a magical daytime. When it’s new the world feels safe, held close by the darkness.

When I look at the moon each night I know that those I love who aren’t with me can see that same moon and it makes the world just a little smaller and the love a little brighter.

And for that I am grateful.

#4 – Hot Water

This is one thing that I never ever think about until it’s not there. And when it’s not there I definitely notice.

Think about that shower that you took this morning. Was it almost as important to you as that coffee (made with hot water) you drank right afterwards? How about that bathtub you are going to sink into tonight? To soak your weary bones and have a few moments of peace. Lovely.

Hot water keeps our clothes and dishes clean, heats our homes, cooks our pasta and dissolves our sugar. Without hot water our life would be a much different place.

And for me, I get that cup of tea at the end of the day that warms me to my toes. Right before I take my bath.

And for that I am grateful.

#5 – My Bed

Really, is there anything better in the whole world than one’s bed?

A bed with soft sheets and the perfect number of pillows and that cozy comforter on a cool night. Heaven.

It’s a place where you can take refuge at the end of an endless day, a place to curl up with your kids, a place where you get to read that fantastic book you fall asleep to every night, a place where you can talk quietly with the one you love, among other things.

No matter how crazy, jam packed and exhausting my life is, at the end of every day I have my bed.

And for that I am grateful.

So there you go. My latest….5 Small Things to be Grateful For – Even when Life is Getting You Down.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Stop for a moment. Look around. For what are you grateful?

There are days that life can be almost too hard to bear. Take a few minutes to take stock of what you are grateful for. I promise if you do you will be able to bear it.

Want to talk about some more things that you can be grateful for? Contact me and let me help!

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways Being Happy Will Change Your Life, Even if You Don’t Believe it Can

So you are living a life in which you are not happy. I mean, you are FINE but really, you think, what is the big deal? Is anyone REALLY happy? Your life is busy and chaotic but you are fine, your job is fine, your family is fine.

I would argue that you are not so fine. Your happiness is not only affecting yourself but affecting those around you.

5 Ways Your Happiness Will Change Your Life & Help Others

 

#1 – Your behaviors will change

People who aren’t happy act not happy whether they know it or not. They are impatient, crabby, distant, distracted, quick to anger, easily frustrated. The list goes on and on. People who are happy, on the other hand, are rarely those things. They are far more patient, present and calm. They don’t live in a state of constant agitation, as an unhappy person does, so they aren’t quick to react negatively to a given situation.

#2 – Your attention span will improve

You might not know this but people who are unhappy have shorter attention spans. When you are unhappy it is very difficult to focus on things, big or small. The mind is constantly agitating and that makes it impossible to focus well on any one thing. People who are happy actually have better brain function than people who are unhappy which leads to better comprehension and retention.

#3 – You will smile

Smiling is an amazing gift to the human race. The physical act of smiling actually improves the smiler’s mood instantaneously. And if you smile at someone that person’s mood improves as well. So if you are happy you will smile more and you will smile at more people and they will be happier and you will be making the world a better place.

#4 – Your health will improve

People who are unhappy are unhealthy, again whether they know it or not. Unhappiness takes a dangerous toll on one’s heart, one’s blood pressure and one’s internal organs. People who aren’t happy don’t sleep well and lack of sleep can actually lead to insanity. One of my clients always had terrible tummy pains. When she resolved her problems with her husband her tummy pains vanished.

#5 – You will be more successful at work and at home

People who are unhappy are generally unable to give their all to anything, not their work nor their family. They are just too drained by their unhappiness to really thrive. People who are happy bring that into their lives everywhere. One of my clients found happiness and her relationship with her co-workers improved to the extent that she was chosen as employee of the month for the first time ever.

So there you are, 5 ways your happiness will change your life. If you think that you are the only person being affected by your unhappiness- you are wrong. If you do your work to reaching your dreams you will be happier and so will those around you.

For help becoming more happy and fulfilled with your life, please contact me through my website for a free first-time session.

How do you think your mood affects others? Can you see how bringing happiness into your life could change it?

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!