Raising Resilient Kids: 5 Ways to Help Your Kids Thrive

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When our kids are born, they are little pieces of perfection. We look at them and promise that they are going to have the perfect life, that we will be the perfect parent, that the life challenges we face, they won ‘ t have to.

Wouldn ‘ t it be lovely if it turned out that way?

We all have our challenges. Kids especially. It ‘ s always been hard to be a kid with school, acne, braces, lost best friends, and that dreaded gym class. They don ‘ t want us, but they need us.

5 Waysto Help Your Kids Thrive

#1 – Take the time to sit with them. Just be in their presence. So many of us spend our time running around, multi tasking. Our child is at the table, doing homework, and we are making phone calls, chopping vegetables, paying bills. Take a few minutes and sit next to your child. Share the silence. Kris did that one night. Her daughter was reading a book, and she joined her on the couch with her own book.

After a few minutes her daughter put down her book and told her mom about something that had happened at school that day. Kris shared that the interaction meant a lot to both of them and that she got just a little insight into her daughter ‘ s life.

#2 – Listen to them. We like to think that we listen to our kids when they talk to us, but many of us do other things when they do so. Have you ever heard yourself say ‘ uh huh ‘ when your child pauses for reaction and realizes that you have no idea what they just said. When your child talks to you, stop what you are doing and pay attention. Even if it ‘ s a frivolous story, you might get some nugget of information for future use.

#3 – Don ‘ t be a helicopter parent. Children are going to make mistakes. They NEED to make mistakes. They NEED to learn how to do things on their own. If you are always hovering, picking up the pieces when they fall, they will never learn how to do it independently. J

ulie always tied her daughter ‘ s shoes for her. Always. And then, on her daughter ‘ s first day of school, Julie wasn ‘ t there to tie them for her. Her daughter was crushed and didn ‘ t want to go back to school the next day. Julie taught her daughter how to tie her own shoes that very night, and she happily went off to school the next day.

#4 – Be Positive. Yes, we have all had challenging life experiences, experiences that we don ‘ t want our children to have. But no matter how hard we try, we can ‘ t stop them from happening. When you see your child facing something that you faced and failed at, DON ‘ T let your feelings of failure enter the conversation. Think about what you might have done differently and share it with them. Be positive.

#5 – Take care of their health. It is essential that all of us take care of ourselves, that we get enough sleep and exercise and eat a healthy diet. Many kids don ‘ t get enough of the first two and too much of the last one (often not so healthy). When your kids become teenagers, it is very difficult to influence their lifestyle choices, so working hard in their early years is important to instill good habits.

Make sure they have a comfy bed and that they play outside after school. Limit their screen time. Have healthy food available but don ‘ t make Oreos taboo. Kim ‘ s kids had a steady diet of frozen pizza and French fries they consumed in front of the TV. Her kids were always bears at bed-time, which made the morning routine especially difficult. At my suggestion, she tweaked their diets, and they ate dinner together at the dinner table, and suddenly, bedtime was a dream, and the mornings were better too.

So there you go, 5 ways to help your kids thrive. None of these tips are reinventing the wheel, but they are often overlooked amid the chaos of everyday living. But you can do it. You are doing it already. Pay attention and tweak things here and there; you will see a huge difference.

Do you have any stories about ways you have helped your children thrive? Questions about challenges that regularly arise? I would love to hear from you, and we can find more ways to help your kids ‘ ¦

The 5 Best Things You Can Do for a Friend in 2023

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One of the most important pieces of true happiness is intimate connection, good friendships. The care and keeping of a friendship is not always the easiest thing to do, especially with the chaotic life that comes with being a mom, but with a little consciousness and action it can be made easier.

Below you will find a list of the 5 things best friends do together. Do them, and you will be a good friend and a happier person.

5 Best Things You Can Do For a Friend

#1 – Support each other and be honest

Friends are great for confiding in. Nothing is better than sitting down with a friend and debriefing her about the terrible row you had with your partner the night before over a hot cup of tea. A good friend will listen and commiserate. A good friend will also be honest with you, giving her perspective without judging or berating. And a good friend will take note of what her friend says.

#2 – Make each other laugh

This chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting world that we live in can be a poisonous one. The best antidote is laughter. Smiling will improve your mood, and if the smile is followed by laughter, the effect is exponentially greater.

#3 – Share experiences

Women ‘ s experiences are markedly similar. It ‘ s almost eerie how alike women ‘ s lives are worldwide. Being around people with shared experience has twofold benefits. First, it makes you fell less alone because you know other people have experienced what you have experienced. Secondly, you can learn from another ‘ s experience by hearing it’s process and outcome.

#4 – Eat ice cream

Many women feel guilty indulging in any sweet. And standing alone at your kitchen counter shoveling Oreos into your mouth is not a good idea. But sharing something sweet with a friend, one bowl, two spoons, can be a truly bonding and uplifting experience.

#5 – Take walks

Exercise is one of the most important things to do to feel healthy and happy. And walking with a friend is a great, painless way to get exercise. As an added benefit, when you go for a walk, you can apply the first 3 principles above, and then after the walk you can do the 4th without guilt!

Two women sitting on a ledge smiling for the camera.

So there you go, the 5 best things you can do for a friend. They aren ‘ t difficult at all; they take a little bit of time and attention. And the benefits are twofold: you both will be happier because of your efforts. And your happiness will pay itself to your children, partner and co-workers.

What do you do with your friends that make you happy?

If you’re feeling like your friendships are suffering, or you’d like to refocus your energy to create healthier, more joyful relationships, let’s talk. Sign up for your free session with me today.

5 Ways To Be Heard, Even if Feels Impossible

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Do you sometimes feel like you talk and you talk, and nobody hears what you are saying? Do you find yourself saying the same things repeatedly, just trying to be understood? It doesn ‘ t have to be this way.

Being heard, and listening, are keys to a happy life.

Best Ways To Be Heard:

In this article I will tell you the 5 ways to be heard. They are simple, effective and easy to implement.

#1 – Use as few words as possible.

You know the kind of person. Someone who goes on and on, trying to make a point, and somewhere along the way you lose interest. The experts say the most effective way of being heard is to use 15 words or less. Your word count doesn ‘ t have to be precise but using as few words as possible to communicate your thoughts is the best way to go.

#2 – Do not attack.

Our inclination when we feel we have been wronged is to go on the offensive. When someone doesn ‘ t return your phone call, you say, ‘ Why didn ‘ t you return my call? That was very rude. ‘ This tone immediately puts someone on the defensive and won ‘ t lead anywhere good. Try instead ‘ I was very disappointed when you didn ‘ t return my phone call. I was hoping to talk to you about ‘ ¦. ‘ This tact lets someone know how you are feeling. And they can ‘ t get defensive about how you are feeling. And it makes them realize that their actions affect others.

#3 – Be thoughtful with your timing.

The best time to be heard is not in the middle of a stressful situation or an all out argument. The best time to be heard is when you are relaxed and calm. One of my clients has a mother who always calls while she is busy making dinner. She could have loudly exclaimed during one of her phone calls, ‘ Mom, why do you always call at dinner? It ‘ s a crazy time of day! ‘ Instead she called her mother one morning after she got the kids off to school and said the same thing calmly. Her mother heard her and started calling mid-morning instead.

#4 – Make sure you listen.

Sure, if you follow the approach above, it ‘ s easy to say what you want. It ‘ s very important, however, to listen carefully to how you are being answered. To finish the circle, to be heard, you need to understand where the other person is coming from. If you both truly listen, your conversation will be an effective one.

#5 – Eye Contact.

This is one of the most important parts of truly being heard. By making eye contact with someone, you demonstrate that you believe in what you are saying and are confident. It also signals to the other person that what you say is important and that you want them to truly hear you.

Being heard is so essential to being happy.

Try these techniques out on a friend with a topic that isn ‘ t very difficult. Practice it with your children. You will see how effective it is the more you use it.

 

5 Benefits of Being Happy That Will Change Your Life

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So you are living a life in which you are not happy. I mean, you are FINE, but you think, what is the big deal? Is anyone REALLY happy? Your life is busy and chaotic, but you are fine; your job and your family are fine.

I would argue that you are not so fine. Your happiness is not only affecting yourself but affecting those around you.

Benefits of Being Happy In 2023:

According to my decades of experience, Here are 5 benefits of being happy that will change your life forever.

#1 – Your behaviors will change.

People who aren ‘ t happy act unhappy whether they know it or not. They are impatient, crabby, distant, distracted, quick to anger, easily frustrated. The list goes on and on. Happy people, on the other hand, are rarely those things. They are far more patient, present and calm. They don ‘ t live in constant agitation, as an unhappy person does, so they aren ‘ t quick to react negatively.

#2 – Your attention span will improve.

You might not know this, but unhappy people have shorter attention spans. When you are unhappy, it is very difficult to focus on things, big or small. The mind is constantly agitating, and that makes it impossible to focus well on any one thing. Happy people have better brain function than unhappy people, which leads to better comprehension and retention.

#3 – You will smile.

Smiling is an amazing gift to the human race. The physical act of smiling improves the smiler ‘ s mood instantaneously. And if you smile at someone, that person ‘ s mood also improves. So if you are happy, you will smile more, and you will smile at more people, and they will be happier, and you will be making the world a better place.

#4 – Your health will improve.

Unhappy people are unhealthy, again, whether they know it or not. Unhappiness takes a dangerous toll on one ‘ s heart, blood pressure and internal organs. People who aren ‘ t happy don ‘ t sleep well, and lack of sleep can lead to insanity. One of my clients always had terrible tummy pains. When she resolved her problems with her husband, her tummy pains vanished.

#5 – You will be more successful at work and at home.

Unhappy people are generally unable to give their all to anything, not their work or family. They are just too drained by their unhappiness to thrive. Happy people bring that into their lives everywhere. One of my clients found happiness, and her relationship with her co-workers improved, so she was chosen as employee of the month for the first time.

So there you are, 5 ways your happiness will change your life. If you think you are the only person affected by your unhappiness, you are wrong. If you work to reach your dreams, you will be happier, and so will those around you.

For help becoming more happy and fulfilled with your life, please contact me through my website for a free first-time session.

The 5 Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

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You know that you aren ‘ t satisfied with your chaotic, jam-packed life. You wake up in the morning drained and dreading the day. You are impatient with your friends and co-workers because you have too much on your mind.

You yell at your kids when bedtime gets delayed because you know that you have many things to do that you don ‘ t want to do. You are not happy, and you want to change that.

Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

In this article I will tell you the 5 greatest obstacles that will keep you from reaching your dreams. You will be surprised how simple it is to overcome these obstacles!

#1 – Not knowing what your dream is.

We all know we want to be ‘ happy, ‘ but most of us cannot define that. So make a list. Be specific. Knowing what your goals are makes it much easier to get there.

#2 – Listening to what our brains are telling us.

Our brains can be our biggest enemy. Our brains will tell us that we can ‘ t change, that we can ‘ t achieve anything worthwhile, that all is hopeless. These are all lies, but we are hardwired to believe them. Learning not to listen to what our brain tells us is very important. When I started thinking about being a life coach, my brain tried to talk me out of it daily. I learned to tell it to just shut up.

#3 – Listening to what other people are telling us.

Whether we ask for it or not, we are constantly inundated with other peoples opinions. What we shouldn ‘ t do is believe everything that we are told. People bring their own experiences to a conversation ‘ ¦someone might have tried and failed at what you are trying to do so they will tell you that it ‘ s hopeless. People aren ‘ t stop telling you what to do but you can take it all with a grain of salt and do what YOU think you should do (taking into account #2 above).

#4 – Lack of accountability.

Ok, think New Years Resolutions. You make them on January 1st and intend to follow through on them. By January 31st, or 15th, those intentions are gone. This is because you have no one to hold you accountable. No one to make sure that you follow through. Your friends can try but they have their resolutions to let go of. You need accountability to follow through effectively.

#5 – Life.

Yes, the chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting life that moms, and every woman, leads everyday. That life is what interfered with us reaching our dreams in the first place and what allows us to keep putting them off ‘ until things quiet down. ‘ I am here to tell you that things will never quiet down. You need to make time to reach your dreams or you will never do so.

So there you go. The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams. They are pretty simple. Not one of these challenges is beyond your abilities to overcome. All it takes is some knowledge, intention and guidance.

 

Overcoming these challenges in order to reach your dreams can be tough for many people, and it’s often much less challenging with some guidance. If you’d like help figuring out your dreams and paving a way to reach them, get in touch for your first free session with me.

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