Saying No without Guilt: 5 Strategies for Asserting Your Boundaries

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So, your life is chaotic, jam packed and crazy. You wake up each morning wondering how you will get through the day because you have so much to do.

When you drop the kids at school, another parent approaches you about organizing a bake sale/ wrapping paper drive/capital campaign (pick one). What do you say? ‘ Yes. Sure. Of course. ‘

What have you done? You have added one more thing to your already jam packed life.

Saying NO is a very important part of living the life of your dreams. We all want to be involved in what we want to be involved in, but many of us are involved in things we don ‘ t want to do.

Why? Guilt, usually, but also the inclination to be helpful, carry our share of the load, and set a good example for our kids.

These are all great things. But, to be the best person you can be, to set an excellent example for your kids, you must learn ways to say NO.

5 Ways to Say No: The Art of Setting Boundaries

Saying “no” can be difficult, especially when we don’t want to disappoint or upset others. But the ability to say “no” is crucial for maintaining our mental health and well-being. In this section, I will explore the 5 best ways of saying no and common reasons people struggle.

#1 – Believe in yourself and your reasoning for saying NO.

When you are asked to do something, take a moment, or an hour or a day, to consider why you would add this thing to your pile.

Would it satisfy you? Do you have the time? Do you have the interest? Is it the best use of your already limited time?

Considering something carefully before committing to it will allow you to say NO confidently. You have solid reasoning as to why you shouldn ‘ t do it. If you believe in your reasoning, it will be easier to stand up and say NO.

#2 – Keep your NO explanation respectful, short and sweet.

When preparing to say NO, always begin respectfully delivering the message. Say that you are happy to have been asked and thank them for their confidence in you. This will soften them for the following sentence ‘ ¦in which you say NO.

When saying NO, you mustn ‘ t go on and on about why you can ‘ t do something. You have your reasons and want to stick to them, and rattling on about why you are saying NO will only allow the asker to convince you to say yes.

A man holding up his hand with a stop sign on it.

#3 – Don ‘ t take a no to your NO.

Many askers are professionals. They know how to make another person do what they need them to do. When you have decided not to do something, stick to it. You will feel much better about yourself if you do. This can be a learning experience for you and your kids: how to make a choice and stick to it, even in the face of push back.

#4 – Use email.

I know this seems like a bit of a cop-out, but it ‘ s the reason that email was invented ‘ ¦to deliver difficult news.

State your reasons for say NO clearly and decisively and offer no personal justifications or emotional commentary about this decision or anything else.

Your message will land, and the asker will not be able to argue and move on to ask someone else. And there is ALWAYS someone else to ask ‘ ¦

#5 – Reward yourself.

Positive reinforcement is a really good thing. Of course, by saying NO, you will have the positive reinforcement that you haven ‘ t added one more thing to your plate, but I think that it ‘ s essential that you reward yourself when you have done something good for yourself.

So reward yourself for a job well done, saying NO. It can be little, like a beautiful piece of dark chocolate, or significant, like a massage. Whatever it is that will make your heart sing.

You have done something complicated and should credit yourself for a well-done job.

Saying NO does not come naturally to any of us, but once you learn the value of doing so, you will be well on your way to reaching the life of your dreams. Saying NO will help you not only not get overwhelmed, but it will keep your time open for more important things.

And remember, if your kids see you saying NO in a clear, positive and respectful way, they are more likely to do so themselves. This will set them up for success in the future, because they can set boundaries, something every mom wants for her child.

So really, it ‘ s a two for one win. More time for you and a lesson learned for your kids. Well done, Mom!

Final Words:

In the end I will say that, saying “no” can be difficult, but it’s essential for maintaining our mental health and well-being. We can avoid becoming overwhelmed and resentful by setting boundaries and communicating our limits. There are several strategies for saying.

Contact me NOW for more ways to help your dreams come true! You will be happy you did.

 

7 Things to Teach Your Kids SO They Won’t Drive You Crazy

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I am on the other side of raising my kids. Well, mostly. Does it ever really end? Both of my kids are in college, are polite, kind, exciting and inquisitive, and I couldn ‘ t be prouder of them.

The teenage years were tough, but not as tough as they could have been because of what we taught them when they were young.

Teaching these things works. I watched my friends who didn ‘ t teach them flounder during those difficult years, and many wished they could go back and reinvent the wheel.

You won ‘ t have to do that if you read this list…

7 Things to Teach Your Kids So They Won ‘ t Drive You Crazy

Being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. Raising kids can be challenging, from sleepless nights to endless tantrums. As much as we love our little ones, there are moments when they can drive us crazy. The good news is that there are things we can teach them now that can prevent this from happening.

Here are seven things you can teach your kids now so they won’t drive you crazy!

#1 – How To listen.

If you will take only one thing away from this blog post, take this. Listen to your kids and teach them how to listen to you.

Kids have a lot to say, much of it ramblings, but a lot of information is coming out, and if you aren ‘ t listening, you will miss it. If you hear what they are saying, you can help, guide and support them with what they need, not what you think they need.

#2 – How To alk.

We adults tend to discount what children say, and we shouldn ‘ t. Let them talk and feel heard; they will come to you when they are teenagers and need to talk.

Talk to your kids in a way that encourages them to listen to you and understand where you are coming from. If they understand and trust you, they are way more likely to respect you when they are older.

#3 – You have set appropriate boundaries and will stick to them.

This is very important. If your kids learn early what their boundaries are and that their parents will enforce them, they are less likely to push back when they are teenagers. Our kids were allowed one hour of screen time before homework. When that hour was up, there was no arguing because they knew that if they argued, there would be no screen time the next day. And we stuck to it. Listening to their parents will be as much second nature as brushing their teeth.

#4 – Good habits.

Again, instilling habits is about creating habits that are second nature. Ensure they eat breakfast, have some time outside daily, and treat the dog with love and respect. When they become self-centered teenagers, the habits that they have learned in their childhood will stay with them.

#5 – Good behavior.

Another important one. We parents need to model good behavior. To this end, we must follow “The Golden Rule”: do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If you are impatient with your kids or yell at your husband, your kids will see and mimic your behaviour. The same with how you talk to people in the store, on the phone, or at Christmas. If your kids see you being polite, respectful and friendly, they will be likelier to act them same way.

#6 – The value of free time.

Everyone needs to learn what it is like to have some down time. Make sure they have time every day for themselves and aren ‘ t caught up in the maelstrom of modern life ‘ ¦excelling at sports, academics and social service. Yes, make that a part of their lives, but also let them be kids. They will be adults soon enough and will have a lifetime of maelstrom.

#7 – The importance of reaching for their dreams.

Kids have dreams that need to be encouraged and supported by their parents, even if those dreams seem out of reach or ridiculous to you. So instead of trying to ‘ set them straight ‘ about how life works, encourage their pie in the sky dreaming.

And let them fail to reach those dreams, if that is part of their journey. Children who only know success or that their parents will fix everything will never learn how to fail, bounce back, and grow. They will believe everything will be handled and not reach out to the world with confidence and bravado.

If you teach these things to your kids, those teenage years will be more accessible. And those teenage years are when Moms finally have time to grow. If you aren ‘ t always focused on and fighting with your kids, then you will have time and energy to reach out for your dreams.

And don ‘ t forget- I can help you with that. Get in touch with me NOW, and we can get your started. You will be glad you did!

7 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Stuff and Breathe Easier

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We all have stuff. It ‘ s just what Americans do. We collect stuff. Some of us have more of it than others, and some have a more challenging time controlling that stuff.

Having too much stuff can cause a ton of stress.

There is an efficient way to get rid of all that stress-inducing stuff, a few secrets of which I will share with you here today.

#1 – Identify what room needs to be de-stuffed first.

This is the key. If you look around the house and think, ‘ I need to get rid of ALL this stuff ‘ , you will get so overwhelmed that you will just go watch an episode of ‘ Orange is the New Black ‘ instead.

Choose one room. Any room. If you want to start small, do so. Like the mudroom or the laundry. Or even a dresser drawer. Completing the task of de-stuffing that room or drawer, will make you feel so good that it will make you want to tackle a larger room next.

#2 – Give yourself time to start and finish the project and prioritise it.

This is key. You need to make a date with that room that you won ‘ t break. If you try to do this ‘ when you have time ‘ well, you know. Most likely, it just won ‘ t happen.

When planning your week, choose an hour or two (or more) and put them on your calendar IN RED so you will see it, remember it and not change it. If it’s on your calendar, you will likely complete it!

Also, Salvation Army (and other charities) will pick up stuff from your house for free. So, call the Salvation Army and set up a pick up date with them. If you have a deadline to work around, you will be more likely to stick to your throw away schedule.

#3 – Turn on Spotify and set up your speakers.

Throwing away is way easier when done to music. Get out your favorite playlist, wear some comfy clothes and get ready to get down to it.

#4 – Start in one corner of the room.

This is a my special secret and one that WORKS!

In the chosen corner of the room, garbage bag in hand, throw things away. Things that you aren ‘ t using that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things you are still using, and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren ‘ t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it ‘ s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for its role in your life, and then say goodbye.

If you come across something emotionally fraught, just put it back and get to it later. Don’t let it shut down your learning out process.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process over and over. Don ‘ t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room. You can do them all in one session or spread them out in more manageable chunks.

#5 – Use the middle of the room.

As you throw away the things that are broken and leave the things that aren ‘ t, you will come across things that can be 1. recycled or 2. given to the Salvation Army. Put those thing in the middle of the room, in two piles. When you are done, you can put the recycled stuff at the curb and wait for the Salvation Army to pick up the rest.

NOTE: if this step is overwhelming, dividing things into two piles, skip it and get a giant garbage bag. Put it all in the garbage, and don’t look back.

#6 – Take a minute and look around.

Stand in the doorway of that room. Appreciate how de-stuffed it is. Notice how it makes you feel. Less stressed? Recognize that YOU DID THIS. All by yourself.

Appreciating your hard work is a great way to be inspired to keep it up. I used to keep my dining room clean so that whenever I walked by it, I was reminded of what I could do.

If you can do this, imagine what else you can do ‘ ¦.

#7 – Do not buy more stuff.

I know this seems obvious, but it ‘ s what we do. We go to Sam ‘ s Club and think, ‘ Oh, look. This croquet set is so cheap, and summer is coming, and we could play together as a family and ‘ ¦. ‘ The reality is that it may get used once and then put away to gather dust.

Consider purchases carefully before making them. You will not only reduce your stress, but you will save yourself money. Money you can use for a massage or something else that will make your life better.

Getting rid of stuff can change your life. De-cluttering your house can de-clutter your mind, freeing it up for way more important things.

Choose what area of your house you would like to start on, set a date, put it to music and throw things away.

Decluttering your house will free you up for bigger things! How great would that feel?

Get in touch with me NOW to get yourself started. You will be glad you did!

 

5 Ways To Achieve Your Goals As A Women

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Remember when you were little and had your dreams for when you were a grown up? I wanted to be an astronaut. Or a ballerina. As we grow up, those dreams evolve. My desire to be an astronaut or a ballerina fell by the wayside when I failed earth science and grew a foot. After college I knew I wanted to write and help people.

I didn ‘ t know how to do that, so I went into the hospitality business, retail sales and became a mom. Suddenly I was 40 and a working mom, and my dreams had disappeared under a load of laundry.

Now, 10 years later, I am living the life of my dreams. I write articles and blogs and coach moms towards reaching their dreams. I have learned a lot along the way and want to share this with you today.

5 Ways Women Must Take To Achieve Your Goals:

Women often have multiple responsibilities, from family and career to personal growth and development. It can be easy to lose sight of our goals amid all these competing demands. However, setting and achieving goals is essential to our well-being and success.

So Here are five ways to achieve your goals as a woman:

#1 – Be clear about what is important to you:

I can ‘ t say this enough. If you don ‘ t know what is essential to you, you can ‘ t prioritise it. Instead your life will consist of day after day doing the things you need to do to get by.

Do this. Mark out 1 hour on your calendar this week, one hour to still down with a cup of tea and write down everything essential to you. Write down the things that you do and things that you don ‘ t. Set it aside and go pick up the kids from school.

A few days later, revisit your list. Did you forget anything? Is there anything on there that maybe shouldn ‘ t be?

Next, circle the top 10 most essential things on your list. Then from that list, circle the top 7 most important things and the top 5 most important things. From your top 5 list, circle the top 3 most important things.

You now have the top 3 things that are most important to you. See, that wasn ‘ t so hard.

#2 – Have a plan in place to make those 3 things a priority:

Make sure that plan is one that you are excited about. Making this plan is most accessible when working with a life coach, but you can do it yourself.

If exercise is priority, build into your calendar a little bit of time three days a week to do so. Just a little bit. Maybe 15 minutes. Then, a few weeks later, build in a little more time. Slowly grow the time you exercise until you do it as much as you want. The key is making time for it and making it a priority.

#3 – Surround yourself with a supportive and loving community:

Your community can comprise family, friends, co-workers, and gym mates who can support you and hold you accountable. This is key to success. We all have good intentions, but it ‘ s hard to stay on the path to reaching our dreams without support and accountability.

#4 – Do NOT doubt yourself:

This is the most self-sabotaging thing that we do. We listen to the voice in our head that tells us that we can ‘ t do something. That we don ‘ t have the time or that we aren ‘ t good enough, or that we don ‘ t deserve something.

This is, may I say, complete bullshit. You are a fantastic person who gives and gives, and you should have the life of your dreams. And if you are happy, everyone around you will be happy!

#5 – Take care of yourself and try to have a little fun:

Yes our lives are crazy, but every mom must take a little time for herself. Take a bath, go for a walk, go shopping with a friend, climb a mountain, learn to surf, take a road trip. Do something every day that feeds your soul. Take a day a month to do something you want to do.

And at least once a year, get away to get to know yourself again.

So there you are ‘ ¦5 Ways To Achieve Your Goals As A Women , Even if There are Million Excuses not to ‘ ¦

Remember, it ‘ s never too late to live the life that you want. You need to take that first step and decide what that life is. The rest you can do, easy.

Just look at all that you do now. Only Superwoman can do what you do every day. Your dreams will be a cinch ‘ ¦ Get in touch with me NOW to get your started. You will be glad you did!

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