What To Do If You’re Suddenly Feeling Depressed For No Reason

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So. You’re suddenly feeling depressed for no reason?

Are you happy with the state of your life, with your relationships, your job, your health? Are things generally going along just fine and yet for some reason you are feeling depressed?

If the answer is yes then there are a few things that you can do to try and figure out what is going on

#1 – Consider where you are in this time and place.

As I write this it ‘ s February. It ‘ s 32 degrees here in NYC and it gets dark by 5pm. It is a time of year where lots of people get depressed.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a depressive disorder caused by the change of seasons. Some people get depressed because of the reduced daylight hours. Some people because of the temperature changes. Everyone affected by SAD finds themselves sad without something being wrong.

How do you deal with SAD? The most effective way is with a full spectrum lamp. The lamp will help your body tolerate the change in seasons by exposing it to full spectrum light.

Another thing to ask yourself is if something has happened to you this same time of year in another year that was painful.

I know that every year in early June I get very depressed because it is the anniversary of my mother ‘ s death. Sometimes it creeps up on me and I don ‘ t even know it.

So consider if you have been in a painful place before this time of year. If the answer is YES then you might have your source!

#2 – Get your thyroid and Vitamin D levels checked.

Two major causes of depression can be thyroid hormone levels that are off and low vitamin D.

When our thyroid hormone levels are off a variety of symptoms can arise. One of them is depression. Many of my clients who come to me complaining of depressive feelings often end up having thyroid disorders.

Vitamin D deficiency is also one of the major causes of depression. Because of the prevalence of sunscreen use, and a significant shortage of sunshine during some parts of the year, many Americans don ‘ t get enough sun. The sun is the only way for a human being to get Vitamin D (other than fortified milk and orange juice) so sun deficiency means a Vitamin D deficiency and Vitamin D deficiency leads to depression.

Fortunately, in both cases, testing is easy – a simple blood test – and treatment involves taking a pill.

So if you’re suddenly feeling depressed for no reason call your primary care doctor and get your blood checked right away.

#3 – Make sure you are taking good care of yourself.

Are you eating well? Getting exercise? Spending time with friends? Taking care of your hygiene?

If not, this could be the cause of your depression.

Taking care of our mental and physical bodies is a key to mental and physical health. If you don ‘ t take care of yourself, but instead live on wine and ice cream, eventually your body is going to react.

A body that isn ‘ t well fed or exercised will start to turn on itself, causing all sort of debilitating issues. One of those issues is depression.

So if you find that you’re suddenly feeling depressed for no reason, examine how you are taking care of yourself. If you are not doing a good job try to make a change. You might find your depression lifts if you do.

#4 – Ask yourself some questions about how you have been feeling big picture.

For many of us, depression that comes out of nowhere has to do with what is going on in our lives. Perhaps we aren ‘ t taking care of ourselves or perhaps we have a hormone imbalance or a vitamin deficiency. This kind of depression is called situational depression.

It is possible that instead you are suffering from clinical depression, depression caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain.

A good way to get a sense of whether or not you are clinically depressed is to ask yourself some questions. They are:

  • Are you living with feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Are you more irritable than usual?
  • Have you lost interest in things that used to make you happy?
  • Are you not sleeping as well as you used to?
  • Have your sleep patterns changed? Are you spending more time in bed?
  • Have your eating patterns changed? Have you lost or gained weight?
  • Are you more anxious than you used to be?
  • Do you struggle with feelings of worthlessness?
  • Do you have a hard time focusing?
  • Do you think about committing suicide?
  • Do you have new physical problems, like headaches or backaches.

If you answered yes to any, or all, of these questions you might be struggling with clinical depression.

#5 – Reach out for help.

Regardless of what kind of depression you are struggling with, situational or clinical depression, it is important that you reach out for help.

See your primary care doctor right away about your depression. Tell them honestly about your symptoms so that they can treat you.

Many people struggle with the embarrassment of depression. They think that they should be able to suck it up and just deal, like every body else. Well, let me tell you that a significant portion of Americans deal with depression and many of them don ‘ t just suck it up. They either self medicate with food or alcohol or they get treatment from a professional.

Guess which one is better for you.

So, if you’re suddenly feeling depressed for no reason, talk to your primary care doctor. Figure out how to deal with your depression to prevent it from getting worse.

Suddenly feeling depressed for no reason can be scary. Feeling lethargic, unmotivated, sad and angry can be debilitating.

So don ‘ t ignore the depression and hope it goes away. Try the advice above. Consider where you are today, have your hormone and vitamin D levels checked, take care of yourself mentally and physically and check in to see if you might be clinically depressed.

The most important thing is not to go it alone. Get some professional help. Depression will get worse the longer it goes untreated so nipping it in the bud is essential.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be strugglingwithdepression.

Let me help you cope with it, NOW, before your sadness overwhelms you.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

5 Things To Do When Emotions Overwhelm You

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You know when you have one of those days when emotions overwhelm you? They can be scary days, can ‘ t they be?

Fortunately there are ways to get through those emotional days without totally falling apart. It takes a little bit of attention and effort but if you are willing to do the work it will prevent those breakdowns that leave you exhausted and spent and unable to function.

So what do you do when emotions overwhelm you?

#1 – Breathe.

The first, and most important, thing to do when emotions overwhelm you is to BREATHE. I know it seems simple and obvious but it isn ‘ t.

Most of us, when put into an emotional situation, forget to breathe. You know when you are driving past an 18-wheeler on the highway? You are gripping the steering wheel super tight and hoping that you won ‘ t get smooshed between the truck and the guardrail. When in that spot, most people hold their breath. Next time, try taking a deep breath as you pass the truck. You will see how much easier it is when you do.

When emotions overwhelm you pause and take a deep breath. Put your hand on your tummy and breathe in for a count of three, filling up your belly as you do, and then release for a count of three. Do this repeatedly until you feel calmer.

The benefits of deep breathing are significant. Deep breathing slows your heart rate and improves your cognitive functioning so that you can think more clearly. And thinking more clearly will allow you to deal with those emotions.

#2 – Identify the emotions.

The next important thing to do, after you have taken a few deep breaths, is to identify what exactly you are feeling.

Are you feeling sadness? Anxiety? Anger? Fear? All of those are emotions that manifest themselves differently in each person and, if you know what emotion is overwhelming you, it will be easier to manage it.

Last year, at my daughter ‘ s graduation, I learned that my ex was bringing his new wife and her family down to NYC for a big post graduation celebration. I flipped out. My heart started beating and my thoughts were racing. I wanted to pick up the phone and yell at him. Or break something.

After some deep breaths I asked myself what exactly I was feeling. Why was I reacting this way? And then I realized: I was jealous. Jealous that I couldn ‘ t give my daughter some big family graduation celebration and that she would be having one with my ex ‘ s family. I was very, very jealous.

And you know what? I was surprised that that was how I was feeling. But knowing that jealousy was the emotion overwhelming me changed everything for me.

First of all, there was a huge sense of relief naming my emotion. When the feeling was just some random anger and hurt I didn ‘ t know what to do with it. Once I knew it was jealousy I was able to process that jealousy. I knew that it was okay that I was jealous. Who wouldn ‘ t be? And knowing that it was okay that I was jealous, and that I was not some woman still bitter about her divorce, helped me process those emotions quickly.

#3 – Feel Them.

I remember the morning after my mom died. Her husband was walking around the house muttering to himself Get over it. Stop being so sad. The day after my mom died.

Emotions are hard to feel. They are painful and confusing and scary. But it is important that we allow ourself to feel them. If we stuff them down, cover them with beer or food or drugs, then we will never be able to learn to deal with them and they will just come roaring back, bigger and fiercer than ever.

So if you are scared to feel those feelings that you have when emotions overwhelm you it ‘ s okay. But fight through that fear and feel those emotions. It will help you let go of them.

#4 – Process them.

So you have done your deep breathing, you have recognized your emotions and you have felt them deeply in your body. What ‘ s next?

Processing your emotions. I know! It ‘ s easier said than done, but it ‘ s very important that you do.

For me, knowing that I was jealous allowed me to ask myself why I was jealous. To figure out the source of the jealousy. For me it was that my kids had a new family, one that I wasn ‘ t a part of. That made me very jealous and very sad. And, to be honest, a little bit angry.

But I knew what it was and was able to tell my kids what I was feeling. They got it and were relieved that their mom wasn ‘ t still bitter about their dad but feeling some genuine, completely understandable emotions.

The same situation has happened again, more than once, and it has been much easier for me to process because I know exactly what emotion is happening and why.

#5 – Let them go.

The final piece to dealing when emotions overwhelm you is to let your feelings go.

Holding onto emotions that overwhelm you is not good for you on many levels.

Holding a grudge or keeping a feeling inside can cause physical illness. It can cause constant bitterness and anger, which isn ‘ t good for your mental health. It can make you unpleasant to be around which could chase your friends away.

So feel your feelings. Process them. And then let them go. It ‘ s okay if they come back but if they do they won’t be as powerful because you will know what to do to handle them.

Knowing what to do when your emotions overwhelm you can be very difficult in the moment. It is hard to think clearly when you are angry or sad or exhausted or hurt.

If you do nothing else on this list, just remember to breathe. If you do you will go a long way towards regulating those emotions and not letting them get the best of you.

And when your heartbeat calms down and your head clears after you breathe, you just might find the others steps easier to manage.

Imagine what it would feel like to not hold onto those overwhelming emotions. Pretty amazing, right?

 

 

 

3 Things To Do RIGHT NOW If You Are Depressed and Angry

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You are depressed and angry and you are scared.

Scared because you don ‘ t know why you are feeling this way. Scared because these are feelings that you can ‘ t seem to control. Scared because you don ‘ t know if the feelings will ever go away.

Depression and anger are scary things to manage but there are ways to do so. Here are what I believe to be the 3 most important things to do first.

#1 – Get to know your feelings.

Depression and anger are both feelings that most of us are familiar with but these feelings can appear in a variety of ways.

At one time or another we find ourselves sad or mad after something happens to us. I was really sad that I lost my mom ‘ s necklace and very mad later in the day because someone cut me off on the highway. Both of those emotions were warranted because those are things that would make any of us sad or mad.

Sometimes sadness and anger go together. My client ‘ s cat died and she was really sad but she was angry too because the cat was hit by a car. In this case, both emotions showed up and once again they were warranted because the circumstances around her cat ‘ s untimely death were both sad and frustrating.

And then, sometimes, depression and anger occur together, for a certain period of time, and nothing has happened to cause them.

I have a client who regularly suffers from depression, caused by a chemical imbalance that she chooses not to treat. As a result, she is often depressed and because she is depressed she can be lethargic, she has little interest in doing things or being with friends, she has gained weight and her productivity is WAY down.

And, as a result, she is pissed. Angry all the time that her life is a mess, that the world is out to get her and that none of it is her fault.

Get to know your depression and anger. Is it sadness and anger brought on by circumstance? Or perhaps the two are present together for logical reasons? If either of these situations are the case then most likely those emotions will pass.

If your depression and anger are more of a constant for you, something that is present in spite of circumstance, then further action is warranted.

Read on.

#2 – Tell someone who loves you what is going on.

If you are struggling with regular depression and anger then it ‘ s time to tell someone else what is going on.

Many people who suffer from depression and anger keep it to themselves. Many of them have isolated themselves from others or have been pushed away by the people they mistreat. They often don ‘ t realize how deep their feelings have become and have no idea what to do about them.

So, if you feel like you have been depressed and are angry, tell someone who loves you what is happening. Telling them how you are feeling and that you need some help.

I have a friend who is my person. He watches my emotions for me because sometimes when I get depressed I just don ‘ t see it happening. Suddenly I find myself lethargic and cranky and I don ‘ t know why. My friend Duncan is the guy who is paying attention for me and who will call me on it if he sees my moods change.

If you are depressed and angry find someone who loves you and share your burden. They will help you find your way out of the mess.

#3 – Get some help. Immediately.

I cannot emphasize this enough. If you are depressed and angry it ‘ s very important that you get some help right away.

Depression is something that can get worse if it goes untreated and the accompanying anger can get worse too. And we all know what can happen if untreated anger rears it ‘ s ugly head.

I have a co-worker who was ALWAYS cranky. At first we all put up with it but then it started to get worse. She was getting really mean and her work, and our work, was starting to suffer. I knew that she had a history of depression and I wondered if her anger was related to that.

One day, when I caught her sitting forlornly alone at her desk, I asked her how she was feeling. She looked at me and burst into tears. She had been treading water, trying to be okay with all of her strong emotions, but they had finally gotten the best of her.

With my help she reached out to her doctor and got the treatment that she needed to help her manage her depression and her anger.

It ‘ s important that you, or the person who loves you, reach out right away to your primary care doctor to seek treatment for your emotions. They might recommend a variety of treatments, such as therapy, medicine or both.

What do you do if you are depressed and angry? PAY ATTENTION, that ‘ s what you do.

Ask yourself where your emotions are coming from. If they are situational and will pass, recognize that and manage them until they do so.

But if your depression and anger are more deep-seated and pervasive then it ‘ s time to get help, from a loved one and a professional.

Depression and anger are serious issues. Don ‘ t take them lightly. For yourself, and those who love you, get help NOW.

5 Ways to Organize Your Life as a Working Mom and Stay Ahead of the Chaos

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Would you like to organize your life as a working mom and stay not only in the game but ahead of the chaos?

It seems daunting but it is possible! And wouldn ‘ t it feel great?

Here are 5 suggestions for making it all happen.

#1 – Use a calendar and make a schedule.

The most important part of an organized life is a calendar and a schedule.

I have a client who, every Sunday night, sits down with her calendar and charts out EVERYTHING that is happening in the week ahead.

What do I mean by everything?

  • Her work schedule
  • Her kids ‘ schedule
  • Any appointments that her family might have
  • Time for herself
  • Time for her and her spouse
  • Time spent on social media
  • Anything else that might need to be accounted for

Once she makes her schedule, she underlines in RED those things that are priorities and cannot be moved.

As the week progresses she looks at her calendar daily to adjust it as necessary but if something must get moved, it gets moved immediately so that it doesn ‘ t fall off her calendar and get forgotten.

She makes her calendar, she keeps it with her, she updates it regularly and makes it the blueprint of her life.

#2 – Stick to your schedule, no matter what happens at work.

The most important part of having a calendar is sticking to it. And I know, as a working mom, that can be very hard to do.

One thing I ask my clients: what is the one thing in your life that everything else revolves around? What is that one non-negotiable thing on your calendar?

Almost without exception, my clients answer WORK. They say that because they are reporting to a boss, and getting paid for it, they will sacrifice other things that might be a part of their week if work demands dictate that they do.

Is this you? Do you choose to work instead of meeting your other obligations?

If so, consider this: can you view some other things in your week, like you time or time with your spouse, as things that are as important as work and that you will not put aside for any reason.

Can you do this in spite of the fact that you aren ‘ t getting paid and reporting to someone else?

This is the key to organizing your life as a working mom and staying ahead of the chaos. To understand that some obligations are as non-negotiable as work and that putting them to the side just can’t happen.

#3 – Plan meals ahead of time.

A HUGE part of staying organized is planning and making meals ahead of time.

I remember, when my kids were young, deciding what to make every night was the hardest part of my day. I always felt that if someone else told me what to cook, making it would be easy. It was the deciding that was hard.

I suggest making a meal plan for the whole week, including lunches, over breakfast on Sunday morning. And from that meal plan make your shopping list so that you have all of the ingredients that you need for the week.

Ideally, you then get your partner to go to the grocery store but that is negotiable!

If you plan your menus ahead of time, and do the shopping as well, you will carve out a big piece of your day, every day, to get other things done.

#4 – Get help.

It is essential for working moms to get help where they need it.

Some moms need help keeping the house clean or cooking dinner or taking the kids to appointments. So if you need it, get it! Find someone to help you clean or cook or drive.

It ‘ s really okay to not do everything yourself.

If a babysitter or a cleaning lady is not in your budget, figure out some other way to get help. Your partner and your kids are the most obvious first choices in the help department. They can all help with the cooking and the cleaning and the chauffeuring. They may complain but they CAN do it!

You can also call on your friends to support you and you can support them as well. When my kids were young, the moms all took turns after school taking the kids to various activities. Each of us committed 1 day a week to being the driver, leaving the other 4 days after school open for work or other things.

Either way, you working moms DON ‘ T have to do everything yourselves. Ask for help. You will be glad you did.

#5 – Build in time for you.

Believe it or not, this is the most important piece of how to organize your life as a working mom.

Everyone needs time for themselves. EVERYONE. Just because you are a working mom it doesn ‘ t mean that you get to sacrifice your mental health for the sake of everyone else.

As a matter of fact, doing so is not good for anyone and will definitely make it difficult to stay ahead of the chaos. Remember the old adage: ‘ A happy mom means a happy family. ‘ It ‘ s more true now than ever.

So make an effort every week to build some ‘ ˜you time ‘ into your schedule. It doesn ‘ t have to be a lot of time. A few minutes in the morning before everyone wakes up. A 20 minute walk outside at lunch time. A few minutes of social media as you wait to pick up the kids from school.

When my kids were little, 3 nights a week were nights when I took a bath. For 45 minutes I was in my bathtub with my People magazine and the door was locked and I had ‘me time’. My husband dealt with whatever had to be dealt with. That time was life changing for me. I was able to take a deep breath and then step back into my life refreshed.

I am guessing that you are eager to organize your life as a working mom. You might feel like you are constantly treading water, just keeping your head up to keep from drowning.

But it doesn ‘ t have to be that way. Get a calendar, make a schedule, stick to it, plan ahead, ask for help and take care of yourself along the way.

The chaos will always be out there ‘ ¦how you manage it will help you stay ahead of it.

Areyou strugglingto organize your life as a working mom?
Let me help, NOW, before it gets to be just too much!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

5 Things You MUST Know If You Are Feeling Depressed For The First Time

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You are feeling depressed for the first time. Are you feeling confused and overwhelmed and not sure what to do about it? It’s a scary feeling, one you have never experienced before.

Let me help you. I have struggled with depression for most of my life and there are some things that are essential to know if you are feeling depressed for the first time.

#1 – What kind of depression is it?

In my experience, there are two basic kinds of depression: situational depression and chemical depression.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to you even if your life is going great.

Chemical depression can be treated but it might be treated differently from situational depression.

I have suffered from chemical depression my whole life and experienced situational depression while I cared for my mother as she was dying of pancreatic cancer. Both kinds of depression were tough to deal with but I figured out how.

#2 – There are different types of treatment for different kinds of depression.

For situational depression, depression that usually has a beginning and an end, the most effective treatment I found was talk therapy and the use of an anti-depressant.

Talk therapy is very effective for situational depression because there is usually something specific that needs to be processed. For me, I had to process the effects of being the caregiver of a dying parent and then how to cope when she died.

Medication was very effective for me as well. I described my anti-depressant as something that ‘ ˜raised the bottom of the pool for me to keep me from drowning. ‘

The talk therapywas important for me but it wasn ‘ t enough. The anti-depressant enabled me to get to the therapy, engage with the therapist and move on. Some time after the death of my mother I was able to stop the anti-depressant medication, although I did continue the therapy for a while.

With chemical depression talk therapy can also be quite effective but medication is often an essential part of treatment.

I have suffered from depression my whole life; the result, I believe, of genetics – both my grandfather and my great grandfather were severely depressive. The fact that my brain chemistry is off is an inherited trait, much like the thyroid cancer my grandmother passed down to me.

For me, the most effective way to manage my brain chemistry is with medication. I have been on a mood stabilizer for 10 years now and it has balanced out my brain chemistry to the point where the depression no longer controls my life.

Because chemical depression often doesn ‘ t have an ‘ end, ‘ other types of treatment can be very effective. I have found that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worked quite well for me. CBT teaches you how to talk back to your brain when it tries to bring you down. It teaches you how to identify thought patterns that don ‘ t serve you which can help you manage your depression.

There are many other types of therapy and learned coping skills that work with chemical depression as well. Talk to you therapist about what might work best for you.

#3 – Depression is nothing to be embarrassed about.

In the United States mental illness is the #1 most discriminated against state of being, over race and sexual orientation. Many people believe that depression is something that can be avoided and if you are ‘ ˜strong enough ‘ you can power through it.

Many people also believe that taking medication is a mark of weakness. People don ‘ t question my taking medication for a thyroid disorder but I get questioned every day about why I take psychotropic meds.

All that being said, virtually everyone in the US is touched in some way by depression. They might struggle with it or perhaps a parent or a child does. Whatever the case, there are many, many people out there living with mental illness and hiding yours won ‘ t serve you.

In fact, one of the best ways that I manage my depression is by talking about it, with my family and friends, but also with other people who are struggling like me.

#4 – Your depression will get worse without treatment.

Both types of depression, both situational and chemical, will get worse without treatment.

I wasn ‘ t diagnosed with depression until I was 42 years old when it got so bad that I had a breakdown. Earlier treatment might have prevented me from getting to that place.

It is essential that if you are struggling with depression that you reach out to your primary care provider right away. You can discuss with them the causes and symptoms of your depression and make a plan on how to move forward with treatment.

#5 – Take care of yourself.

If you are depressed for the first time it is very important that you take care of yourself.

Many people who are depressed self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, food and sex, among other things. While these things will make you feel better in the short term, in the long run you will find that these things only make your depression worse.

So make sure you are doing things that are good for you. Exercise regularly, sleep well and eat foods that are healthy. Spend time with people who are good to you and do activities that make your heart sing.

While these things won ‘ t cure your depression, they will make living with it way more tolerable and allow you to live a quality life.

If you are feeling depressed for the first time it is essential that you recognize your depression for what it is and reach out for help right away.

Depression is a scary thing and while it is tempting to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away, really it won ‘ t. I tried to ignore mine and instead found myself one day in a closet, banging my head against the wall.

So reach out to your primary care giver today. Get your treatment started. And make sure that you take care of yourself along the way.

You will be glad you did! I was.

Do you know that you are feeling depressed for the first time?
Let me help, NOW, before it gets worse!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

Are You Productive? Find Out By Answering These 5 Questions

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Are you productive? Do you find yourself struggling every day to get everything done that you need to get done and still have some time left for yourself?

Do you wonder if you just don ‘ t have enough time or if you waste the time that you do have?

There are 5 questions that you should ask yourself if you are wondering if you are productive.

#1 – How much time do you spend on your screen?

Cell phones, pads and computers have taken over our lives and they are the number one cause of lack of productivity.

Have you heard of the term ‘ screen suck? ‘ It means the time that we spend on our computer when we don ‘ t mean to. Like when you go on to ‘ ˜quickly check your email ‘ and end up still on an hour later having watched too many cute animal videos.

Being sucked into our screen kills productivity.

So how much time do you spend in in front of your screen? If it ‘ s more than hour, spent surfing instead of getting work done, your productivity is probably lagging.

#2 – Do you have a ‘To-Do’ list?

The most productive people have a list of things that need to get done.

As much as we would all like to believe that we can maintain a running list to-do in our head, it is almost impossible to do so.

Between work and family and social life and work there are so many things that need to get done and to get them done you must keep track of them.

So, if you don ‘ t have an ongoing list, one that prioritizes things that need to get done, you most likely aren ‘ t as productive as you could be.

#3 – Can you say NO?

You know when that mom approaches you at pick-up time and asks if you would mind running the annual school auction? Or when your boss asks you to take over yet another project? How good are you at saying NO?

The most productive people know how many hours they have available in the day and are strong enough to say NO instead of adding one more thing to their already heavy load.

On top of being less productive, when you take on too many things you also become less effective. You can ‘ t do the things you take on as well as you might because you just can ‘ t devote the mental and physical energy needed to do it.

So learn to say NO! Your productivity will increase immediately if you do.

#4 – Can you ask for help?

The most productive people in the world are NOT the people who try to do it all themselves. The most productive people in the world are the ones who are willing to delegate and share tasks to get things done efficiently.

Do you need to do everything in order to get that new project completed on time or are there people you can ask to support you in this endeavor?

Can you take on that school auction and still keep your household running well or might it be a good idea to get someone in to clean your house a couple of times a month?

In this world it ‘ s almost a badge of honor to be so busy that you barely sleep and feel constantly overwhelmed. But the most productive people don ‘ t wear that badge. They know that by asking for help they will be more efficient and effective in their endeavors and not struggle with being overwhelmed and exhausted.

#5 – Are you taking care of yourself?

Being a productive person in the world depends a lot on your physical and emotional wellbeing.

If you are someone who never gets enough sleep, doesn ‘ t eat well or struggles with depression being productive will be challenging.

To be productive you need to have mental clarity and physical stamina. So take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, take a walk and pay attention to your mental health.

If you do you will be well fortified in your efforts to be productive.

So, after asking yourself those questions, what is the answer? Are you productive?

If not, then follow my suggestions.

Limit your screen time, make a list, learn to say no, to ask for help and take care of your physical and mental health.

This is a jam-packed, chaotic and exhausting world that we live in but you can make your little corner of it less so by managing your habits so that you can be productive.

Imagine going to bed at night with most of the things on your list crossed off? How great would that feel?

So go for it! Change those habits and answer YES to the question ‘Are you productive?’

What It Means When You’re Feeling Depressed But Nothing Is Wrong (And What to Do About It)

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Have you recently been feeling depressedbut nothing is wrong? Do you feel like you have everything that you want in your life but still you feel like you are carrying a hundred pound weight on your back, that you have no interest in anything and that all you want to do is sleep?

I am not a doctor but I can tell you that I used to feel that way all the time. I lived with this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dread. I tried to be a good parent but keeping my energy up was close to impossible. I tried to be great wife but my irritability prevented that from happening. I had a great job but my performance suffered.

This went on for years. YEARS. I thought that I was managing it, and I was. Until I wasn ‘ t.

One day, when I was 42 years old, I found myself in a closet banging my head against the wall. I had no idea what was going on.

A friend of mine scooped me up off the floor and took me to see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with chemical depression. He sent me off with some medication and instructions to follow up with a therapist.

That day changed my life.

If you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong in your life then you too could be chemical depressed. This means that you have a chemical imbalance that causes depressive symptoms without something actually being wrong.

So what do you do if you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong? I have some suggestions.

#1 – Ask yourself a few questions.

A good way to get a sense of whether or not you are chemical depressed is to ask yourself some questions. They are:

  • Are you living with feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Are you more irritable than usual?
  • Have you lost interest in things that used to make you happy?
  • Are you not sleeping as well as you used to?
  • Have your sleep patterns changed? Are you spending more time in bed?
  • Have your eating patterns changed? Have you lost or gained weight?
  • Are you more anxious than you used to be?
  • Do you struggle with feelings of worthlessness?
  • Do you have a hard time focusing?
  • Do you think about committing suicide?
  • Do you have new physical problems, like headaches or backaches.

If you answered yes to any, or all, of these questions you are most likely suffering from depression.

Now, ask yourself if this has happened to your before? How regularly? Does anyone else in your family struggle with depression? Were there any traumatic experiences in your life that might have affected your deeply?

If you answer YES to any of those questions you most likely suffer from chemical depression.

What to do next?

#2 – See your primary care doctor immediately.

If you are feeling depressed and nothing is wrong It is important that you reach out to your primary care doctor as soon as possible to tell her about your symptoms. Seeking medical help is key to dealing with depression.

Many primary care physicians are knowledgeable about the treatment of depression and can help you with treatment right away. Some primary care doctors might refer you to a psychiatrist who can help you diagnose and manage your depression.

Either way, see you doctor right away.

#3 – Stick to whatever regimen the doctor prescribes.

This is a key part of dealing with chemical depression.

What often happens is that a doctor prescribes a medication to help someone manage their depression and then once they are feeling better they stop taking it. And what happens next? The depression comes back.

So stick to your treatment. Continue to take your meds. Just like you would if your doctor had prescribed meds to help you with a thyroid issue. Or diabetes.

#4 – Surround yourself with people who love you.

Many people who suffer from chemical depression tend to isolate themselves from friends and family. Making the effort to spend time with people and to pretend to enjoy themselves is just too much. So they don ‘ t.

Make an effort to get yourself out there and spend time with people who love you. Spending time with people who make you laugh, who keep you out of your head and make you feel good about yourself is very important to managing your clinical depression.

#5 – Don ‘ t be embarrassed.

Many people who are diagnosed with chemical depression are embarrassed. Embarrassed that they can ‘ t just ‘ suck it up. ‘ That they might have some kind of personal deficiency that makes them weak in the face of this perceived disease.

Let me tell you! You are not weak. You are not lacking something that others have that make it so that you can ‘ ˜suck it up. ‘ You are actually incredibly brave for facing this issue head on.

Chemical depression is a disease caused by a chemical imbalance. The same as heart disease, the same as thyroid disease.

Chemical depression is perceived by many in society to be a personal weakness. I mean how can you be depressed if nothing is wrong? Luckily more and more people are speaking up about living with mental illness. More and more people, including many famous people, are being honest about living well with their condition and helping to eliminate the stigma about mental illness.

So, join the celebrities. Don ‘ t be embarrassed. Chemical depression is not something that you could have prevented. But it is something that you can deal with.

If you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong then you may be struggling with clinical depression.

The best way to deal with it is to get yourself to see your doctor right away and then stick with the medical treatment they prescribe. Also make sure to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love you.

You, like millions of other women, can have a full and happy life living with chemical depression. All you need to do is to pick up the phone and call your doctor.

Do it TODAY!

Are you struggling with feelingdepressed but not sure why?
I know it can be really, really hard. Let me help before the depression gets worse!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

Why Are Healthy Relationships Important To A Healthy Life?

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Why are healthy relationships important to a healthy life? Why is it so important that we share our lives with people who make our lives better? The reasons are many and they are worth noting.

We all want to live a healthy life. Happy, strong, loved and nurtured. And while many of think we can do it alone we can ‘ t.

Relationships can be of any sort – a romantic relationship, a familial relationship, a friendship. Having a healthy relationship of some sort is essential for a healthy life.

But I can do it alone you think. And yes you can. Being able to stand on your own is important but you do need people by your side to be truly healthy.

There are 5 elements of a healthy life and how your relationships align with those elements is very important.

#1 – Alignment of morals and values.

We all have a set of morals and values that we live by. Things that we believe are important in our everyday lives. It essential for a healthy life that anyone we have in our lives, whether a partner or a friend, shares some, if not all, of our values.

Because to live a healthy life, to live in integrity, is important. And if someone you are sharing your life with doesn ‘ t have values that are aligned with your then you won ‘ t be living a truly healthy life.

For me an important value is telling the truth. I have been in relationships where men would lie to me. As often as not they said they were trying to protect me but the truth is that lying made me feel insecure and uncomfortable. I would never lie to them ‘ ¦why can they lie to me.

All of those relationships are past now. I knew that to live a healthy life I needed to be in a healthy relationship, one with shared values.

#2 – Alignment of physical health.

Of course an essential part of living a happy life is maintaining physical health. While the goal is to eat well and exercise each of us do that to a varying degree of success. For a healthy life is important is that the people in your life have similar beliefs about physical health.

I have a client who is involved with a man who is in a different physical place than she is. She is vibrant and active and physically fit. Her man has back issues and would rather not exercise more than necessary and has less than ideal eating habits.

She loves him but she struggles with the relationship because they just can ‘ t do all of the things that she wants to do together. He does try but he just can ‘ t. She finds that she isn ‘ t living a truly healthy life because he is holding her back from the physically active life she seeks.

#3 – Alignment of mental health.

Good mental health is an essential part of a healthy life. In this crazy, jam packed and exhausting world we live in many of us struggle with depression, or worse. And part of winning that struggle is being in a healthy relationship with someone who is in a state of mental health that complements ours.

I have a client whose partner suffers from depression and has for years. My client says that she understands the depression but I am not sure if she has really accepted it. She doesn ‘ t understand why he can ‘ t ‘ ˜suck it up ‘ and rally on the days when he is depressed. This causes friction in their relationship and some days she wonders if they will survive it.

For a healthy relationship to stay healthy it is important the partners understand and accept each other ‘ s mental health, that they are willing to support them not matter what.

#4 – Alignment of community.

An essential part of a healthy life is a healthy community, a community outside of your immediate family that shares ideas and interests and values. For a healthy relationship it is important that this sense of community is shared by both parties.

A friend of mine sent her kids to a Waldorf School, an alternative school that has very strong beliefs about food, education and media consumption that are quite contrary to modern way of doing things. She believed strongly in these beliefs and jumped into the community with a full and open heart. Her involvement in this community was a huge part of the healthy life she was living.

Her husband, on the other hand, just didn ‘ t get the whole thing. He thought the educational concepts were whacko and that the other parents were weird. He refused to attend community events and if he did go he was crabby. What she needed to be healthy and happy he just didn ‘ t, and wouldn ‘ t, accept. And without that acceptance the relationship crumbled.

#5 – Alignment of finances.

Ah yes. Money. It often comes down to that.

Healthy finances are an essential part of a healthy life and if two people in a partnership are not aligned on finances the relationship will not be a healthy one.

A client of mine married someone who was very wealthy. She didn ‘ t come from a lot of money but he had a lifestyle that he wanted to maintain and she was happy to spend money to maintain that lifestyle. The issue was that her husband was very frugal and cautious about where the money went in the attainment of that lifestyle but she, because she didn ‘ t have much experience managing money, spent frivolously. This spending was a significant source of friction in their marriage and they were forced to separate.

Why are healthy relationships important for a healthy life?

Because the most important parts of our lives, morals, physical and mental health, community and finances all require balance and alignment between partners in order for us to live the healthy lives that we want.

To achieve that balance it is essential that people in relationship communicate clearly what is important to them and do whatever it take sot come to a place of understanding, support and acceptance of the 5 important pieces of a healthy life.

Are you questioning whether your relationship is healthy?

Let me help you figure it out, NOW, before your relationship suffers.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

5 Ways Untreated Depression in Parents Affects Their Children And How to Best Protect Them During Dark Times

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Living with untreated depression is a horrible thing. Every day is full of hopelessness and despair. Life can seem unbearable. Imagine, then, how untreated depression in parents can affect their children.

Parenting is a 24/7 job. It ‘ s all about modeling good behavior, paying attention, educating and loving our children. Doing these things while depressed can seem almost impossible. As a result, untreated depression can have a huge negative affect on children.

Here I will share 5 ways that untreated depression in parents affects their children and how to best protect your kids during dark times.

#1 – Depression is scary.

For a child depression in a parent is very scary. A child just cannot comprehend why their parent is acting the way that they are.

When depressed, parents can, and do, act a variety of ways – sad, angry, tired, anxious, ambivalent, indifferent, insecure, aggressive. As a result, if those behaviors show up regularly, children can start acting anxious, insecure and aggressive themselves.

#2 – Kids blame themselves.

When my daughter was 15 I shared with her that I had just been diagnosed with depression but that I had probably suffered from it for years.

Her reaction? ‘ ˜I am so glad to know that it wasn ‘ t my fault. ‘

Children are so innocent, and so self-centered, and as a result they believe that anything that happens in the world is a result of them and their actions. Because of this a child can easily internalize their parents depressed feelings and blame themselves for the behaviors.

#3 – Their parent isn ‘ t parenting.

When a parent is suffering from untreated depression they just can ‘ t be the parent that they usually are or want to be.

If a parent is so sad that she must take to her bed for days, or if the depression has made him particularly cranky and impatient, the child will suffer.

If her mom can ‘ t get out of bed to make her dinner then she will have to fend for herself. If her dad is always yelling at her she will feel bad about herself and take to her room.

Parents need to be parents and it ‘ s difficult to be so when they are suffering from untreated depression. And kids need their parents to be parents.

#4 – Their mom and dad don ‘ t seem to like each other.

One of the biggest side effects of untreated depression is relationship instability.

When one partner is depressed the other often struggles to understand what is happening, why their partner can ‘ t just snap out of it. This feeling of helplessness can lead to anger and frustration which in turn interferes with relationship health.

And there is nothing scarier for a child than having her parents not get along. The parental unit is what provides the foundation for a child ‘ s growth. If that is regularly unstable the results can be devastating and permanent.

#5 – They don ‘ t feel safe at home.

Unfortunately, when one suffers from untreated depression productivity can suffer. As a result one ‘ s home can get dirty, meals don ‘ t get made, laundry doesn ‘ t get done, safety standards don ‘ t get met.

As a result, many children of parents living with untreated depression are neglected in some way which forces them to either suffer needlessly or grow up very quickly because they have to take care of themselves from an early age.

How unfair is that?

So, how can you protect your kids during dark times?

#1 – Be honest with them.

If kids, or adults, know what is going on then they are more likely able to deal with it.

Tell your kids if you or your partner is suffering from depression. Explain to them that mommy ‘ s sadness or daddy ‘ s anger is the result of something that they can ‘ t control. Ask them if they have any questions and be willing to answer them.

Being honest will allow your kids to understand, to some degree, what is going on which will alleviate some of their anxiety around the situation.

#2- Explain that it ‘ s not their fault.

More than anything a child needs to hear from his or her parent that the behaviors they are experiencing aren ‘ t their fault.

Understanding that their parents ‘ instability isn ‘ t a result of their actions will take a considerable weight off of a child ‘ s shoulders. And that is the very important: to not let your child blame themselves for your troubles.

#3 – Remove yourself from the situation.

If you are depressed, make every effort to not overexpose your kids to your moods. When you are depressed, if you are able, send your kids to a friend ‘ s house or have your spouse take them out for the afternoon.

Constant exposure to a parent who is suffering from untreated depression can have a significant negative effect on kids. Even a short break from the moodiness can be therapeutic.

#4 – Get help around the house.

If meals aren ‘ t getting made or the house isn ‘ t getting cleaned consider getting someone in to help.

Children need to be taken care of and, if you can ‘ t do it, let someone else. Your kids will thank you someday.

#5 – Seek professional psychiatric help.

The best way to protect your kids during dark times is to get help!

If depression goes on untreated it just gets worse. Early intervention can greatly reduce the effects of depression in a parent on a child.

See your primary care physician immediately. They will help you get treatment right away so that you can protect your kids.

Untreated depression in parents can affect children in a big way.

Kids of parents with untreated depression often suffer from low self-esteem, insecurity and anxiety and often are forced to grow up way too fast.

It is essential that you make an effort to protect your child if you or your partner suffers from untreated depression. Be honest with them, make sure their needs are taken care of and seek help as soon as possible.

They are your children. They deserve the best, whether you are depressed or not.

5 Signs Your Depression Is Getting Serious And It’s Time To Get Help

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For some time now you have been feeling really sad. Not yourself. And you aren’t enjoying your life. Do you feel like your depression is getting serious?

Your friends are telling you that it will pass. To snap out of it. But you are wondering if you can. You are wondering if maybe you are clinically depressed.

There are ways to tell…

#1 – Your depression is getting serious if you can’t get out of bed or off the couch.

How much time do you spend on the couch or in bed? You aren’t necessarily tired but the prospect of getting up is just too daunting to face. So you stay horizontal all day, watching Netflix and feeling like a loser.

This habit is a significant indicator of depression. People who have been diagnosed with depression tell of the great lengths they go to stay out of bed. Of stripping the sheets, taking the mattress off of the box spring and leaning it against the wall, locking the bedroom door. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and wallowing in their depression.

#2 -Your depression is getting serious if you have no interest in the things you love.

Have you lost interest in doing the things that you have always loved?

Does the idea of going to school or seeing friends or going out to dinner just seem like too much to bear?

People who are depressed isolate themselves. The energy that it takes to get out of bed and interact with others is overwhelming. So they don’t.

Ironically, going out and doing the things that you love is a great way to alleviate depression temporarily. Unfortunately the treatment can often seem too daunting to undertake and so people who are depressed just stay home.

#3 -Your depression is getting serious if you have overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and dread.

Do you spend much of your time running all sorts of negative thoughts through your head about how horrible your life is? What a loser you are and how no one will ever love you? Are you 100% confident that this will never change?

People who are depressed believe that all of the negative thoughts that run through their head. Unfortunately they also believe, falsely, that it will always be this way!

The truth is is that when one is depressed things can only seem hopeless because when one ‘ s mind is in such a bad place it ‘ s impossible to believe that the future will be any different.

The good news is that once the depression is addressed that feeling of hopelessness can disappear completely!

#4 – Your depression is getting serious if you are impatient with those you love.

Do you find yourself losing your patience with those you love? Do you scream at your kids if their homework doesn’t get done? Do you sneer at your husband if he asks you what is wrong? Can you not even talk to your mom anymore because her incessant questioning is just too much?

Impatience with those you love is a huge indicator of depression. The sense of the hopelessness that our condition will never change and that we are worthless makes it intolerable for us to interact with others, particularly those who love us and want the best for us.

Ironically, it is that love exactly that we need most in our life when we suffer from depression. Pushing that love away ultimately can make the depression worse.

#5 – Your depression is getting serious if your appetite has changed.

Have you found that recently your appetite has changed? Do you find yourself indulging more than usual in Ben and Jerry ‘ s and Oreos? Or do you find that you have no taste for food at all? Have you lost weight and find yourself listless because you aren’t eating?

Changes in eating patterns can indicate depression. When depression goes untreated we can self medicate with food, often to one extreme or another. Which is not healthy and can make it all worse.

Or course, eating well is an important part of dealing with depression. And failing to do so only makes the feelings of hopelessness and despair worse.

Depression gets worse the longer it goes untreated.

Unfortunately we hate to admit to being depressed because our loved ones, and society as a whole, tend to stigmatize those with depression.

So, ask yourself if you have any of the symptoms above. If you do, seek professional help immediately. Call your primary care provider and tell her exactly how you have been feeling, using this article as a reference if you like.

Treating depression is easy. Living with it is not.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with depression.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Article previously published on Your Tango.com.

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