You are depressed and angry and you are scared.
Scared because you don’t know why you are feeling this way. Scared because these are feelings that you can’t seem to control. Scared because you don’t know if the feelings will ever go away.
Depression and anger are scary things to manage but there are ways to do so. Here are what I believe to be the 3 most important things to do first.
#1 – Get to know your feelings.
Depression and anger are both feelings that most of us are familiar with but these feelings can appear in a variety of ways.
At one time or another we find ourselves sad or mad after something happens to us. I was really sad that I lost my mom’s necklace and very mad later in the day because someone cut me off on the highway. Both of those emotions were warranted because those are things that would make any of us sad or mad.
Sometimes sadness and anger go together. My client’s cat died and she was really sad but she was angry too because the cat was hit by a car. In this case, both emotions showed up and once again they were warranted because the circumstances around her cat’s untimely death were both sad and frustrating.
And then, sometimes, depression and anger occur together, for a certain period of time, and nothing has happened to cause them.
I have a client who regularly suffers from depression, caused by a chemical imbalance that she chooses not to treat. As a result, she is often depressed and because she is depressed she can be lethargic, she has little interest in doing things or being with friends, she has gained weight and her productivity is WAY down.
And, as a result, she is pissed. Angry all the time that her life is a mess, that the world is out to get her and that none of it is her fault.
Get to know your depression and anger. Is it sadness and anger brought on by circumstance? Or perhaps the two are present together for logical reasons? If either of these situations are the case then most likely those emotions will pass.
If your depression and anger are more of a constant for you, something that is present in spite of circumstance, then further action is warranted.
#2 – Tell someone who loves you what is going on.
If you are struggling with regular depression and anger then it’s time to tell someone else what is going on.
Many people who suffer from depression and anger keep it to themselves. Many of them have isolated themselves from others or have been pushed away by the people they mistreat. They often don’t realize how deep their feelings have become and have no idea what to do about them.
So, if you feel like you have been depressed and are angry, tell someone who loves you what is happening. Telling them how you are feeling and that you need some help.
I have a friend who is my person. He watches my emotions for me because sometimes when I get depressed I just don’t see it happening. Suddenly I find myself lethargic and cranky and I don’t know why. My friend Duncan is the guy who is paying attention for me and who will call me on it if he sees my moods change.
If you are depressed and angry find someone who loves you and share your burden. They will help you find your way out of the mess.
#3 – Get some help. Immediately.
I cannot emphasize this enough. If you are depressed and angry it’s very important that you get some help right away.
Depression is something that can get worse if it goes untreated and the accompanying anger can get worse too. And we all know what can happen if untreated anger rears it’s ugly head.
I have a co-worker who was ALWAYS cranky. At first we all put up with it but then it started to get worse. She was getting really mean and her work, and our work, was starting to suffer. I knew that she had a history of depression and I wondered if her anger was related to that.
One day, when I caught her sitting forlornly alone at her desk, I asked her how she was feeling. She looked at me and burst into tears. She had been treading water, trying to be okay with all of her strong emotions, but they had finally gotten the best of her.
With my help she reached out to her doctor and got the treatment that she needed to help her manage her depression and her anger.
It’s important that you, or the person who loves you, reach out right away to your primary care doctor to seek treatment for your emotions. They might recommend a variety of treatments, such as therapy, medicine or both.
What do you do if you are depressed and angry? PAY ATTENTION, that’s what you do.
Ask yourself where your emotions are coming from. If they are situational and will pass, recognize that and manage them until they do so.
But if your depression and anger are more deep-seated and pervasive then it’s time to get help, from a loved one and a professional.
Depression and anger are serious issues. Don’t take them lightly. For yourself, and those who love you, get help NOW.
I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.