6 Things To Help With Depression When You Simply Can’t Stay Down

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Are you looking for some things that you can do to help with depression when you simply can ‘ t stay down?

Do you have days where you wake up depressed and wonder how you are going to get through your day? Where you know that you have to function but you just don ‘ t know how?

There are things that you can do RIGHT NOW to bring yourself out of your depression if you really need to. Let me help!

#1 – Get some exercise.

One of the quickest and most effective ways to alleviate depression is getting some exercise.

Exercise produces endorphins, chemicals that elevate your mood. So, simply put, it ‘ s mighty difficult to be depressed when endorphins are racing through your body.

And don ‘ t think that you have to go for a long run or hit the gym (although you certainly can). Research shows that all it takes is 30 minutes of exercise that raises your heart rate to get those endorphins raging.

So go for a walk, dance around your living room, play with your kids. Whatever you can do get that heart rate elevated and those endorphins activated.

#2 – Eat a good breakfast.

I know. Eating when you are depressed can seem almost impossible. But eating a healthy, protein filled breakfast is an excellent way to elevate your mood.

Seratonin, another chemical mood enhancer, is produced by the breakdown of proteins in the body. Eating a protein rich breakfast will, like exercise, produce chemicals in your body that alleviate depression.

So make yourself some eggs for breakfast. Or maybe some yogurt with fruit and nuts. Perhaps a chia seed pudding. Even cereal with milk will give you a good protein and serotonin boost first thing in the morning to get you on your way.

#3 – Have sex.

There are two things that happen when you have sex. The first is that you feel emotionally connected to someone and the second is that your orgasm generates all sorts of feel good chemicals – chemicals that once again counteract that depressed feeling.

The other thing that happens is that sex keeps your mind off your depression and an excellent way to get rid of depression is to ignore it completely. Without your attention depression tends to slink away, unhappy that it isn’t occupying your every thought.

So have sex. You will be glad you did!

#4 – Schedule a coffee with a friend

I know that when you are feeling depressed, getting out and talking with someone, anyone, seems daunting. But it has been proven that spending time with loved ones elevates one ‘ s mood every time.

When we spend time with friends, the love and laughter that we share trigger those feel good chemicals, dopamine and serotonin. So just by interacting with someone, sharing words and thoughts and laughs, you can raise your mood.

#5 – Smile.

Did you know that the act of smiling actually elevates one ‘ s mood?

The act of smiling, of your muscles working together to turn your mouth upwards, activates the release of those mood enhancing chemicals – dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. Once again, your body will be flooded with things that will reduce your depression immediately.

#6 – Do something nice for someone else.

An excellent way to lift your depression is to do something nice for someone else.

This world that we live in can be a very challenging place, with people rushing around with their own agendas, caught up in their worries. You are probably that way too.

So think about what it feels like when someone does something nice for you.

How about that gentleman who opened the door for you? Or the barista who put an extra shot in your cup, no charge. Or the lady who ushered you forward in the grocery line because you only had one item. Didn ‘ t those small things make you feel great?

Do those kind of small things for someone else. Make someone else ‘ s life a better place. By doing so, you will once again activate those feel good chemicals in your body, ones that will wash that depression away.

So you see there ARE things that you can do to help get rid of depression when you simply can ‘ t be down.

Get some exercise, eat well, fool around, hang out with friends, smile and help others. All of those things will take you outside of yourself and make you feel better.

You CAN DO IT!

Author ‘ s note: If your depression doesn ‘ t get lifted, or comes back, it is essential that you see your primary care doctor right away, to make sure that it doesn ‘ t get worse and so that you can be happy.

What Are Healthy Relationship Boundaries and How Do I Get Them?

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Have you been told that you need to develop some healthy relationship boundaries?

Are you eager to do so but do you have no idea where to start?

Let me help!

To understand healthy relationship boundaries look at the four walls of your house. Those walls are the structure that holds your life together. They hold your food and your bed and your possessions and it ‘ s where you live your life.

Healthy relationship boundaries are the same as those four walls of your house. They are the things that support your relationship as it grows. To have a healthy relationship, one that can grow and be fruitful, it is important that it has structures, boundaries, that support it.

Healthy relationship boundaries come in many shapes, sizes and colors. Really, it ‘ s important for each couple to decide what works for them. But there are a few boundaries that are essential for every healthy relationship.

#1 – Don ‘ t let one person be in charge.

In many relationships it happens that at some point one person becomes the one calling the shots. And while this seems to work on one level, ultimately the relationship will become uneven. And when things are uneven a relationship changes.

So make an effort to keep the decision making even in the relationship. If you are good at organizing your social life then do that but give him opportunity to choose events. If he is good at managing the finances let him do that but continue to have input into where the money goes and why.

Letting your relationship become uneven allows it to slip into a sort of parent/child dynamic, where one person is in charge and the other does as they are told. Does that sound like a healthy relationship to you?

Not so much.

#2 – Respect each other.

One of the biggest romance killers in a relationship is lack of respect and contempt.

The saying ‘ ˜familiarity breeds contempt ‘ is an accurate one and something that happens in many committed relationships.

It is important in every relationship that you each respect each other. Respect each other within the confines of your relationship by speaking to each other honestly, sharing your feelings and needs in an open way. By not attacking each other personally and criticizing each other ‘ s behaviors and actions.

Furthermore, it ‘ s important to not criticize your partner out in the world. The general rule of thumb is that you not tell something about your partner to anyone that you haven ‘ t already shared with your partner.

When I was married, I talked to my friends WAY more about the problems in my marriage than I did to my husband. This didn ‘ t do our relationship any good because we weren ‘ tcommunicatingand giving our relationship a chance to improve. And when we were together I treated my husband with contempt because I no longer respected him.

I am no longer married.

So make sure you treat each other with respect, both inside and outside the relationship.

#3 – Don ‘ t lose yourselves.

So many women, when they are in a relationship, become less of themselves.

Many women take on their partner ‘ s friendships, their hobbies and their ways of doing things.

It is VERY important that all womenstay themselveswhen in a relationship.

Why? Because every healthy relationship is based on truth and if you are anything other than your true self your relationship will never be really healthy.

It is also important that you continue to respect yourself and you will respect yourself by being yourself. By continuing to have your friends, to do your own hobbies, to have a career that you love and a healthy lifestyle that serves you, you will wake up every day feeling good about yourself.

And when you feel good about yourself your partner will love you even more because he knows you are being your true self, someone who is ambitious and smart and willing to take risks to get what she wants.

So be yourself in your relationship. Ahealthy relationshiprequires it.

#4 – Spend time apart.

When they are falling in love, couples want to spend every available minute together. The feelings that accompany falling in love are addictive and hard to walk away from even for a short while.

It is important, however, that you spend time apart from the one you love.

You know the old saying ‘ ˜absence makes the heart grow fonder? ‘ It ‘ s true!

Think about how you feel when you go on a diet. How you can ‘ t eat ice cream for a month while you lose those 5 pounds and, man, do you miss your ice cream. It ‘ s the same thing in a relationship. Stepping away from your partner, even for a bit, makes you both notice the void that is created in his or her absence.

And then the heart grows fonder.

So spend some time apart. Miss each other. Value each other. Keep that spark alive.

#5 – Be flexible.

I have a client who recently bought a house for herself and her boyfriend moved in with her. Right away they had issues because it was her house and she wanted to do things her way and that just wasn ‘ t okay with him.

It is important that everyone be flexible in a relationship. Just like you would at work or with your family, it is important to work with your partner so that you can both live a life that is authentic to you.

You know the phrase ‘ My way or the highway? ‘ That phrase has no place in any healthy relationship.

So embrace flexibility. Choose the things that are important to you and stay true to them but be willing to see what might be important to your man and work with him so that you both can live a life that makes you happy. Together and apart.

Examining what are healthy relationship boundaries is an excellent way to ensure that you have a good strong relationship that will last forever.

Relationships are built from two people who have two separate lives and two separate ways of living. It is important that the couple build a new life together. A new life with four walls that will keep it safe and strong.

So don ‘ t let one of you be in charge, respect each other, like yourself, spend time apart and be flexible.

Talk to your partner and build your house from a place of love and beauty and self-confidence, one that will be strong enough to stand the test of time and allow your relationship to be a healthy one.

You can do it!

5 Reasons Career Success Begins With Communication Skills

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Is career success incredibly important to you? Do you want to learn what skills are necessary to have the most success in your chosen field?

Well, let me tell you. The MOST important skill for career success is COMMUNICATION.

It is true!

Career coaches believe that career success begins withcommunication skills, the ability to write and speak in a way that is clear, concise, easily understood and honest.

How will great communication skills allow you to achieve the success you desire?

#1 – Finding a job will be easier.

The first step in achieving career success is finding a job! And having excellent communication skills makes finding a job much easier.

Networking is a big part of looking for a job and if you are the kind of person who can put themselves out there, who can talk to people, listen, share and connect then you will be the kind of person someone would want to hire and the kind of person someone would recommend for a job.

Your resume is a very important piece of the job application process and without an exceptional, well written, well thought out resume you will not come across on paper as a superior candidate. Even someone with a shortage of skill sets can use words to enhance their job experience description, making a potential employer more likely to grant them an interview.

And then there is the interview – the most important part of the job search experience. Once you get in the door this is your chance to shine, to show them who you are. And unless you can look them in the eye, express yourself well, be interesting and funny and smart, then you may as well not even bother.

The ability to connect with people, both in writing and in spoken word, is an essential part of the getting the job you want.

#2 – Your co-workers will trust you.

Once you have that job, it ‘ s essential that you not rest on your laurels. Your work is important but what is a key part of career success is your relationship with your co-workers.

Think about that person who comes into work, goes right to their desk without speaking to anyone, who is disruptive in meetings and crabby about their work? Is that the kind of person who inspires confidence in others? Is that the kind of person you would want to have on your team?

So, make a huge effort to be personable in your office space. Be kind to your co-workers, listen to what they have to say, take interest in their families and ask them questions about their ideas.

Treat your co-workers the way you would want to be treated and earn their trust and respect. It will get you far.

#3 – Your great ideas will get out there.

Ok, let ‘ s say that you have a great idea. A revolutionary idea that could change the way that your company works. One that, if implemented correctly, could mean that your career would skyrocket.

Imagine if this great idea is stuck in your head, waiting to be expressed, but that you just can ‘ t get it down on paper. You try to write a proposal to your boss and you can ‘ t articulate it clearly and he refuses to consider it. Or you approach a co-worker for their support and the way you phrase things confuses them and they refuse to help.

If you have excellent verbal and written skills you will have a great tool in hand to forward your ideas and achieve great career success.

#4 – You will advocate for yourself.

So. let ‘ s say that you have been working your butt off. Your co-workers love and trust you and your ideas are changing the corporate culture. You know that you deserve a raise. But you don ‘ t know how to ask for one.

Or perhaps let ‘ s say you are struggling with a co-worker and you want your manager to help you work through it because you know that if the matter can be resolved it would be better for everybody. But you have no idea how to talk to you manager in such a way that will let her see that you want to make things better.

People who have excellent communication skills know how to speak up for themselves. They know how to resolve conflict, how to let others know what they are worth and how to make sure that they get the recognition that they deserve.

Every well-spoken woman who I know who has walked into her boss ‘ office with a well thought out rationale for why they deserve a raise has gotten one. Because she asked for it!

#5 – You will zoom up the corporate ladder.

People who have excellent communication skills have a huge advantage over people who do not.

In my first management position the time came for us to write our direct reports ‘ yearly reviews. We all labored over them for hours, knowing that our boss would review them before passing them up to HR.

I was nervous because this was my first time round but I needn ‘ t have been. My boss told me that my written skills were incredibly impressive and that, really, he needed to me to change very little. That what I had written was good enough to be sent up to HR as is. And then he asked me if I would work with another manager to help them phrase things more clearly.

By the end of that season, when my boss moved upward, I followed, into his old job. It was, in large part, due to the fact that I could express myself clearly, both in written and spoken word, and everyone noticed.

Finding success in our chosen career is the goal.

For me, every day I have to use my verbal skills to speak with my clients and my written words to follow up with inspirational emails and to write blogs that people will want to read and learn from.

I know many coaches who struggle with both of these things and I know that I am successful, in large part, to having those strengths.

So, if you aren ‘ t sure about your communication skills, find someone who can help you develop them. A life coach is a great place to start. You could also enroll in writing courses at the local community college. Or take part in Toastmasters to learn about public speaking.

Reaching for the stars in your career is admirable. Make sure that you have the tools that you need to get you there and get you there fast.

You can do it!

How To Stop Feeling Depressed (Without Medication)

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Are you wondering how to stop feeling depressed without medication?

Have you been feeling sad and overwhelmed recently and, while you want it to go away, you aren ‘ t quite ready to consider medication?

It IS POSSIBLE to stop feeling depressed without medication but first let me tell you a little bit about depression.

There are two basic types of depression: situational depression and chemical depression.

Situational depression is the result of things that are happening in your life. Perhaps a family member died or you are very unhappy at work or maybe you are going through a divorce.

All of these ‘ ˜situations ‘ can lead to feelings of sadness and overwhelm. And, in most cases, situational depression can be dealt with without medication.

Chemical depression is a whole different thing. People who are chemically depressed have brain chemistry that is slightly off, off enough to affect their mood. Chemical depression can be caused by genetics and traumatic events, among other things. Chemical depression is very hard to treat without medication and will not just go away. Chemical depression also tends to get worse the longer it goes untreated.

So, before you read this article, ask yourself what kind of depressed are you? For more information on the difference, check out this article.

If you are situationally depressed then read on. If you are chemically depressed then this articlemight be better for you.

So how DO you stop situational depression without medication?

#1 – Get your thyroid and your Vitamin D levels checked.

Many of my clients first come to me because they are feeling depressed. Without exception, as part of our work together, I ask that they see their primary care doctor and have their thyroid and Vitamin D levels checked.

Many women who are depressed, and many who aren ‘ t, have thyroid issues. Your thyroid is the body’s regulator so it ‘ s important to get your thyroid checked regularly to keep your body running properly. An under-active thyroid can lead to depression so if you are feeling depressed it ‘ s a good thing to check out.

Vitamin D is a vitamin that we can only get from two places: fortified milk and the sunlight. And for many of us who live in the USA, and those of us who use sunscreen, we just don ‘ t get enough sunlight. As a result, our levels of Vitamin D are low and low vitamin D levels can lead to depression.

Fortunately, both thyroid and Vitamin D levels can be checked with a simple blood test so get to your doctor right away to have that done!

#2 – Get motivated.

One of the viscious circles about depression is that when we are depressed our productivity lags. The prospect of cleaning the house or doing work or driving to see our mother fills us with such an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dread that we just don ‘ t want to do it.

So we don ‘ t. And it makes us feel bad about ourselves and then we get even more depressed.

One of the best antidotes for depression is being productive. There is nothing like getting up off the couch and getting something done that can raise one ‘ s spirits.

I know. The idea just kills you doesn ‘ t it. Does it seem impossible?

If yes, start small! Perhaps you can get up off the couch and clean your coffee mug. Or you can stay on the couch and organize your coffee table. Something little that will make you feel productive and therefore better about yourself.

And you just might find that, if you start small and get that little thing done, you will be inspired to go bigger. And going bigger just might be what you need to kick that depression to the curb.

#3 – Get your heart rate up.

Getting your heart rate up is a proven way to stop depression in it ‘ s tracks.

When you exercise, and get your heart rate up, your body produces dopamine, a natural anti-depressant. The dopamine usually lasts for about 5 hours and has a significant lightening affect on the mood.

Furthermore, if you exercise instead of sitting on the couch eating ice cream, you will get and/or stay fit which is also a good antidote for depression. Nothing like feeling good about yourself in that new pair of jeans to lift the sadness clear away.

So get out and get your heart rate up. Walking for 15 minutes is a good place to start, working your way up to 30 minutes and beyond. Or you can ride your bike. Or walk your dog. Or have sex. Whatever you like to do to get your heart racing.

Orgasms, BTW, are an excellent producer of dopamine so having those as often as possible when you are depressed is always a good idea.

#4 – Get out of the house.

Another key signifier of depression is the tendency to isolate.

For people who are depressed, the prospect of getting out of the house to spend time with people is incredibly daunting. Way more attractive is the idea of staying home, in your pjs, binge watching UnReal. Which, yes, is fun but which most likely won ‘ t lift your depression.

So pick up the phone and call some friends. Make some plans to go out and do something. Anything. Being with friends, smiling, laughing and being distracted from your troubles, is an excellent way to deal with situational depression.

It ‘ s hard to be depressed when you are laughing.

#5 – Get help!

A key part of dealing with depression is knowing that you don ‘ t have to deal with it alone. There are tons of resources out there for people living with depression, either situational or chemical.

Seeing therapist or a life coach can be very helpful. A therapist will help you work through your feelings about what is going on in your and a life coach will help you be more productive and maybe find that new job!

Seeing your primary care doctor is always a good idea. They can give you a full medical workup and confirm that there is nothing physical that is causing your sadness.

Holistic healers can be helpful too. Chiropractors, acupuncturists, herbalists, cranial sacral workers, massage therapist and many others are excellent resources for dealing with depression.

And last, but not least by far, are your friends and family. Going it alone when you are depressed is not a good idea. You don ‘ t need to broadcast how you are feeling to the world but having one person who knows that you are struggling is wise. That person can keep an eye on you, to see if matters worsen and to be there should you need help or a friendly ear.

If you are depressed reach out for help right now. You don ‘ t have to go this alone.

There are ways to stop feeling depressed without medication.

It is important, however, that you seriously consider what type of depression you might have before you try to deal with it. What works for situational depression doesn ‘ t work for chemical depression and vice versa.

So, if you are situationally depressed, follow my steps above. Get your thyroid and Vitamin D levels checked, get motivated and be productive, get some exercise, get out of the house and get some help. Hopefully, following this protocol will help you deal with your depression so that life can go on!

If you are chemically depressed it ‘ s essential that you reach out to your primary care doctor immediately and let her help you deal with your depression. Chemical depression that goes untreated will only get worse.

Good luck! You can do it!

 

 

5 Life Saving Ways of Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You So That You Can Be Happy

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Are you thinking about letting go of someone who doesn ‘ t love you?

Have you been hoping that your situation would change and that he would start loving you and that you would live happily ever after?

First of all, let me say that I am SO SORRY that you have to go through this. There is nothing worse than a broken heart. But let me also say GOOD FOR YOU for recognizing the truth and making this big move.

There is someone out there for you and by letting go of the person you are with now you will be able to find him.

But for now, let ‘ s talk about how to let go of someone who doesn ‘ t love you.

#1 – Ask yourself how determined you are to do this.

Before you begin any life changing process you must ask yourself how determined you are to actually do it. On a scale of 1-10 how close to a 10 are you? Because withoutsteadfast determinationyou will not be able to accomplish something as challenging as getting past a lost love.

So are you ready to do this? Is there any part of you that is holding on to the possibility that things could work out? Do you feel like you aren ‘ t strong enough to do this yet?

If the answer to any of these questions is ayesthen perhaps you should wait a bit longer before you begin this process. Time is a great healer and with some time you will get stronger and be ready to take on this challenging task.

#2 – Make three lists and refer to them often.

List #1: How do you know that he doesn ‘ t love you?

There are reasons why you feel like he doesn ‘ t love you.

Perhaps he no longer makes an effort to spend time with you. Or he doesn ‘ t return your text messages. Or when you are going to bed he just rolls over and turns off the light without kissing you.

Or perhaps he tells you that he doesn ‘ t like or respect you, even as he lets you buy him that new bike or a fancy meal.

You know what I am talking about. Those things in your gut that are telling you that this relationship is wrong. Those things you are ignoring ‘ ¦

List #2: What are you kidding yourself about?

Are there some things that you are doing to talk yourself out of the fact that he doesn ‘ t love you?

Do you think that if you just do this ONE thing he will start loving you again? Or perhaps you wonder how could he not love you because you know you are awesome?

I have a client who just doesn ‘ t get that her man doesn ‘ t love her. He isn ‘ t brave enough to break up with her and just treats her badly. She truly believes that he should love her and that if she just holds on long enough he will know that too. And every day she debases herself by doing his bidding and, surprise, he still doesn ‘ t love her.

Take a true accounting of those things that you are doing to justify staying in this relationship and take a good hard look at them. Without understanding them, you won ‘ t be able to let him go.

List #3: What do you want in a relationship?

If you don ‘ t know what you want in a relationship then you will most definitely be more likely to stay in one that isn ‘ t serving you.

Take some time and write down what you want in a relationship. Most likely you will find that what is important to you isn ‘ t present in your current relationship.

Once you have made your lists, refer to them often.

When we are in the midst of emotional turmoil our brains get cloudy and we can ‘ t think clearly. If you have lists in front of you, lists that can remind you of why you have to break up with this person, you will be able to stay steadfast in your determination to get it done!

#3 – Cut him off.

I know that we all think that we need ‘ closure ‘ at the end of a relationship, that final conversation where everyone gets to say what they want to say and you understand each other and walk away as friends.

I am here to tell you that closure is a myth. What closure really is is one last chance to spend time with and talk to that person you still love. Because really, if you could have a conversation and finally understand each other why couldn ‘ t you make it work as a couple?

So when you have decided that the relationship is over cut him off. Block him on your phone, disconnect on social media, stay away from places where you know he will be.

Why? Because what you need to do is break the addiction you have to this person, to change your habits.

Think about Oreo cookies. You know how hard it is to eat just one? It ‘ s the same with your man. Even one point of contact can draw you back into his circle, the circle that you have decided that you are determined to break yourself out of.

So gono contactright away. It will make the process way easier!

#4 – Believe that you will find another love.

I find this to be the number one obstacle to my clients breaking up with someone who doesn ‘ t love them.

Almost without exception, people who are in relationships that aren ‘ t making them happy don ‘ t try to get out of them because they believe that there will never be another person for them. That if they break up with this person they will be alone forever!

But that just isn ‘ t true. There are many, many fish in the sea and there is one for you.

Of course, if you never have a chance to go fishing, because you are still with this idiot who doesn ‘ t love you then you, won ‘ t find that person. But if you can be brave enough to act, and break up with the idiot, then you will be setting yourself up for finding the love of your life.

A client of mine was in a horrible relationship, one that made her feel horrible about herself. She kept on breaking up with up with her guy and then taking him back. And then one day, after another break up, she was invited to a dance party. At that dance party, which she never would have gone to if she had still been dating bozo guy, she met the love of her life. How awesome is that!

#5 – Get back out there!

I know that right now you feel like you might never love again but putting yourself back out there doesn ‘ t mean you have to fall in love. Putting yourself back out there means that you get dressed up and flirt and date and have a lot of fun. And you will, you WILL, find another love but in the meantime you can enjoy yourself and the freedom that you have as a single girl. Embrace it!

Letting go of someone who doesn ‘ t love you is an incredibly hard thing to do.

You are holding onto the feelings that you had for each other in the beginning, the feelings of excitement about the future that you shared. You want them to come back and for him to love you and that all will be fine.

But you know, in your gut, that that isn ‘ t going to happen. So TAKE ACTION.

Get determined, identify exactly why you are breaking up, cut off all contact with him, believe that your next love is out there and then get out there and find him.

The next short period of time will be painful. Saying goodbye to someone always is. But once you are through it life will go on and you will be in a place to find that guy who will love you, forever.

And you will be happy!

How great would it feel to work through this pain and move on, quickly?

I have created a course, 4 Weeks to Letting Go of Love and Moving On

that will help you do exactly that!

Check it out here!

 

9 Ways To Organize Your Life When You Have ADD

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Are you looking for ways to organize your life when you have ADD?

Living with ADD can be incredibly difficult but it IS POSSIBLE to live with ADD and be successful and happy and organized.

My daughter just graduated from NYU ‘ s prestigious Tisch School of Arts with a degree in film. She hasstruggled with ADD her whole life. She couldn ‘ t stay focused in school, had a rough time keeping friends, and was prone to bouts of depression and anxiety. She is now a film maker, a production designer and a writer of screenplays and she is the go-to person for all of her many friends. She still wrestles with her ADD but it does not get the best of her.

I asked her how it was that she was able to manage her ADD to get what she wanted in her life. Here is what she told me.

#1 – Do what you love.

She says that first and foremost she is successful because she is doing what she loves and that she is super ambitious to succeed.

She says that if she didn ‘ t have a passion for her work it would have been way easier to succumb to letting go of her life, to getting overwhelmed by the piles and to being defeated because everyone seems to manage so much better than she does.

In fact, happiness and joy in adults leads to positive emotions like optimism, the ability to reach out to others, a feeling of being at least somewhat in control of your life, and a can-do attitude coupled with a want-to attitude.

So make sure that you are pursuing something that you hare passionate about. Your passion will drive you forward.

#2 – Be positive.

An important part of getting yourself organized when living with ADD is to believe that you can.

When it seems that everyone else around you can manage things so much better than you it is daunting to believe that you can ever live successfully. But you CAN.

My daughter did it and so can you!

#3 – Get yourself organized enough.

No matter how many websites you visit that promise to teach you how to be organized, you most likely will never have the picture perfect filing system that you see on Pinterest.

What you CAN have is an organizing system that works well enough for you.

What do you most need to keep track of?

  • Your keys? Put a basket by the door and leave your keys there when you get home.
  • Your trash? Buy lots of wastebaskets and put them everywhere and USE THEM.
  • Your piles? Build some time into every day to attack your piles to keep them from getting too big.
  • Remembering things? Keep a running list, in a bound notebook, of things that need to get done. (No loose pieces of paper) Also, leave visual reminders around the house – think Post-it notes on the mirror, fridge and back door.

Create a few systems that work for YOU – to manage the things that you need to manage.

#4 – Be willing to ask for help.

People with ADD are notoriously bad at asking for help. They really want to be able to do everything themselves and the prospect of asking for help seems like failure to them.

But there are some things that you just can ‘ t do by yourself and it ‘ s okay to find someone who can help you with them or who can do them for you.

My daughter, the filmmaker, found that she had a really hard time managing all of the details around making her films. Her best friend, however, thrives on details. So they work together, as director and producer, and the films get made with less emotional wear and tear on my daughter.

Who do you need to help you? A housekeeper? A financial manager? A personal assistant? Figure it out (or ask someone to help you figure it out) and get some help.

If finances limit your ability to get help, consider bartering. There are things that you are good at, things that others aren ‘ t, so offer a trade. You will both win in the end!

#5 – Take care of yourself.

Taking care of yourself is an essential part of managing ADD. Sleep, exercise and diet can make a huge difference in living successfully.

Specifically, it is important that someone with ADD get enough sleep. Enough sleep will allow your brain to function at it ‘ s optimum level.

Get 30 minutes of exercise every day, ideally exercise that raises your heart beat. Exercise produces chemicals that allow your brain to think clearer.

Eating well is also important. Make sure that you have a varied diet, big on protein and vegetables, foods that feed your brain and help it function. Taking an Omega 3 supplement daily has also been shown to help with improved brain clarity.

If you are going to do only one thing on this list, taking care of yourself is IT. So make sure you do so. Start TODAY!

#6 – Consider medication.

80% of people with ADD respond well to medication so definitely consider them as a part of your management protocol.

There are many different kinds of ADD meds so consult with your primary care doctor about what might be right for you.

#7 – Surround yourself with positive people.

People with ADD often struggle with depression because living with ADD can be very difficult and disheartening.

To that end, people with ADD can tend to isolate and really that ‘ s the worst thing that you can do.

It is important that people with ADD surround themselves with positive supportive people, people who love and embrace you in spite of your difficulties. Being with people who don ‘ t get you and who might look down on you is not what you want to be doing.

It is also essential that you have one person in your life who you trust completely and who you will LISTEN TO. Someone who knows you and who you can rely on to tell you the truth when they see something that is going on. People with ADD and depression sometimes miss when things go awry. Having someone there who notices, and tells you, is key.

#8 – Exercise your brain.

People with ADD have brains that can sometimes wander off without them, leaving them frustrated and feeling alone.

It is possible to take control of your brain, to teach it to behave in a way that serves you best.

Some good ways to gain some control over that wandering brain of yours:

  • Yoga – yoga helps you use the breath to manage your thoughts.
  • Meditation – meditation also helps you manage your thoughts and gives you increased control over how your brain processes work.
  • Cognitive Behavioral therapy – a sort of therapy that again helps you manage your thoughts and your brain functionality.
  • Positive thinking – focusing on the positive instead of the negative is a key part of living successfully with ADD. Focus on what ‘ s RIGHT in your life instead of what’s WRONG.
  • Accepting yourself – know that this is who you are and that it ‘ s just fine. It ‘ s more than fine, actually!

#9 – Reduce electronics.

I know you don ‘ t want to hear this one but it ‘ s gotta be said.

Our increasing use of electronics, and our using multiple electronic devices at the same time, is making it so that our brains are having a harder and harder time focusing.

I watch my daughter as she tries to work. No sooner does she settle in when an alert goes off on her phone. She picks it up to attend to it and then gets back to work. For about 20 seconds. And then her phone goes off again.

And THEN, something comes across her Facebook page that needs to be dealt with immediately and before she knows it an hour has passed with no work done.

SO, if you need to get some stuff done PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY. It doesn ‘ t have to be forever. Set your timer for a set period of time (perhaps an hour) and focus on what has to be done for that period of time. When the timer goes off you can tend to your phone again.

Trying to organize your life when you have ADD can be very challenging but it ‘ s not impossible.

Many, many people live successfully with ADD. Will Smith, Justin Timberlake, Jim Carrey, billionaire Richard Branson, Solange Knowles and Michael Phelps all have found great success living with ADD. You can too!

So find your passion, believe in yourself, surround yourself with good people and ask for help. Exercise and nourish both your body and your mind.

Next month my daughter has the first staging of a play that she is directing. I think back often to 2nd grade when her teacher wouldn ‘ t even show me her workbooks because she was such a mess. She, and I, have learned since then that while her brain isn ‘ t so great with workbooks it can easily see just how to pull together people and ideas to create an amazing work of art.

You can too! Go for it!

Quiz: Why Am I Feeling Depressed (& What Can I Do About It)?

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Are you seeking a really goodWhy Am I Feeling Depressedquiz?

Are you struggling with feelings of sadness, anger, worthlessness, fear, hopelessness and/or anxiety?

Do you want to figure out what is going on and try to FIX IT?

Let me help!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself if you are trying to figure out why you are depressed.

#1 – Are you unhappy with your work situation?

Work is a central part of our life, a place where we spend most of our time and it is often the source of our feelings of self worth. If you are unhappy at work, at the prospect of getting up in the morning to go to a job you don ‘ t like and then spending the day miserable, it can certainly lead to depression.

If you are unhappy at work it could be a cause of your depression. And if it is, then it’s time to make the choice to try to improve the situation at work or to find yourself a new job. Changing your work situation could help you with your depression.

#2 – Do you have a personal relationship that is unhealthy?

Is your romantic life making you unhappy? Do you have a friendship that is in trouble? Do you struggle with your mother-in-law around family activities? Do you have some kind of personal relationship that isn ‘ t working right now?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then it is possible that you are depressed because these relationships are in trouble. Interpersonal relationships are an essential part of our happiness and when there are difficulties it can definitely bring us down.

If you have an unhealthy personal relationship in your life then it could be why you are depressed. Take action to fix that relationship as soon as you can. See a marriage counselor, make nice with your mother-in-law, take a walk with your friend to work things out. Talk to a life coach. Fixing your relationships could help fix your depression.

#3 – Do you have a ton of stress in your life?

Are your days long and full of craziness? Are you under pressure to get a project completed by a certain deadline? Do you just not have enough hours in the day to get everything done?

If the answer to any of the questions above is yes then your depression could be caused by stress.

Stress is very hard on our bodies and our minds. It taxes the adrenal glands which can make us physically and mentally weaker. And when we are weaker we can get overwhelmed and depressed.

If you are depressed because you have lots of stress in your life take steps to manage it. Go for a walk, do some yoga, delegate at work, get a housekeeper, go out with friends. Whatever it takes for you to alleviate some of that stress.

#4 – Have you been taking care of yourself?

We all have such great intentions but we often struggle with taking care of ourselves.

We overeat, or what we eat is unhealthy. Or we don ‘ t eat enough and our blood sugar gets low. Or we stay up too late binging on TV or we lounge around in bed in the morning longer than we should. We try to exercise but we don ‘ t and we beat ourselves up about it.

If you aren ‘ t taking care of yourself this could be the cause of your depression. It has been proven that irregular sleep patterns can cause depression and so can a poor diet. And exercise produces endorphins which make you feel good. No exercise means no endorphins which can lead to feelings of sadness.

So, if you aren ‘ t taking care of yourself it could be why you are feeling depressed. Take steps right now to fix your diet, get some exercise and develop healthy sleep habits.

#5 – Are you struggling with your finances?

Do you have enough money to live the way you want to live? Are you in debt, debt that you don ‘ t see how you could possibly pay off? Do you have a partner who spends to excess and you don ‘ t know what to do?

If the answer to any of the above questions is yes then it is possible that your financial struggles are causing your depression. Take steps immediately to figure out how to deal with your finances. Take on a second job if you have to. Talk to a bank that can help you make a plan to take care of your debt. Explain to your spouse that the money is running out. Whatever you need to do to eliminate the financial stress from your life.

#6 – Do you drink to excess or do drugs?

Many people drink to excess or do drugs because of their feelings of sadness and anxiety. Unfortunately, doing drugs and drinking to excess will only exacerbate feelings of depression.

Drinking can make you feel good in the moment but the morning after, with the hangover and the regrets, any depression that might have been lurking nearby will settle right in to stay. The same thing with drugs. Drugs will alter your chemistry enough that they can do a real number on your feelings.

So, if you are drinking to excess or doing drugs, make an effort to stop, or curtail, your behavior immediately. Both of those things will only make your depression worse.

#7 – Have you recently suffered from some sort of traumatic event?

Has some kind of traumatic event taken place in your life recently? Have you lost your job? Did your dog die? Are you going through a divorce?

I know that when I was nursing my mother as she died of pancreatic cancer I got desperately depressed. The day in day out demands of dealing with a sick woman and the reality that my mother was going to die made my life a truly miserable place.

So if you have recently been through a traumatic event it is possible that it is causing your depression. Seek help from a therapist immediately, one who can help you process your feelings and get you back on track.

#8 – Is there a history of depression in your family?

Is there a history of depression in your family? Was your grandmother an angry woman who could never be pleased? Did your mother spend lots of time in her bed crying when you were a child? Does your sister take medication for anxiety?

If there is any history of mood disorders in your family then it is very possible that it is the cause of your depression.

There are two kinds of depression: situational depression, caused by situations, as described in the questions above. And then there is chemical depression, depression that is caused by body chemistry being off balance.

Chemical depression is highly genetic so if you have seen signs of depression in your family it is possible that this is the cause of your depression. Call your primary care doctor right away to get an appointment to discuss your treatment options.

#9 – Is there nothing wrong with your life but you are still feeling depressed?

Is there nothing wrong in your life? Are you happy with your job, your relationships, your finances? Do you not overindulge and take care of yourself? Have you not recently suffered a traumatic event?

If there is nothing wrong in your life but you are still depressed then it ‘ s possible that you are suffering from chemical depression. Call your PCP right away to discuss treatment options.

#10 – Do you feel depressed and then feel better and then feel depressed again?

Do you find that you wake up in the morning depressed and then as your day gets going you start to feel better? And then, sometime later, do you start to feel depressed again?

Or perhaps you are depressed for a day and then you feel fine for a week and then you get depressed again for no reason?

If you depression comes and goes for no reason then it ‘ s possible that you are suffering from chemical depression. Call your PCP right away to discuss treatment options.

Depression can present itself in many forms and understanding from where your depression stems is a key part of managing it.

If your depression is caused by something happening in your life, like your relationships or your finances or your health, then taking steps to make changes could help you get rid of it.

If, however, your depression seems to be the result of something other than circumstance in your life then it ‘ s important to get the help of a professional.

Depression is serious and the longer it goes ignored or untreated the worse it will get.

So think about your answers to these questions and take steps immediately to make change.

Talk to a friend, a mentor, a parent, a therapist or a life coach to help you make the positive change that needs to happen so that you are no longer depressed.

You can do it! Wouldn ‘ t it feel great to not feel the way you are feeling today.

How To Have Career Success Without A Real Job

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Are you wondering if it ‘ s possible to have career success without a real job?

Do you not want to be tied down to a 9-5 job? Would you like to do things the way that you want to do them so that you can live the life that you want to live?

I can tell you that it IS POSSIBLE.

I don ‘ t have a traditional real job. I work from home, have a flexible schedule, attend no meetings and report to no one except for myself. I don ‘ t make a ton of money but I make enough money for now.

Do I define myself as having ‘ ˜career success ‘ ? Yes I do. And I love it!

So, if you are looking to have career success without a real job it is possible but there are some things you have to consider in order to get it.

#1 – Identify what ‘ ˜career success ‘ means to you.

There is simply no way to achieve career success if you don ‘ t know what career success means to you.

For me, career success is defined by having a solid client base and that my clients reach their dreams. It ‘ s having a flexible schedule. It means by getting my blogs published and syndicated. It ‘ s about making enough money to live the simple life that I live and being able to help my kids.

What does career success mean for you?

Does it mean going into an office every day and begin part of a team and receiving recognition? Does it mean that you make a lot of money? Does it involve helping people? Does it give you a flexible schedule? Does it mean that other people perceive you as successful?

Defining what career success means to you is an essential part of achieving it because you can never do so if you don ‘ t know what success means to you.

If you believe that career success means being part of an office, working as part of a team and getting annual raises and bonuses then you probably will never feel like you have achieved career success if you don’t have areal job.

If, however, you will feel like you have achieved career success by making your own schedule, doing something that you are passionate about and knowing that you might not ever make a ton of money, then YES it is possible that you can have career success without a real job.

#2 – Identify what you are passionate about.

Once you have decided what success looks like to you and you have decided that it is possible for you to feel good about your career success without a real job, then it ‘ s time to decide what it is you want to do with your life.

Ask yourself what you are passionate about. If your career involves something that you are passionate about then success is way more likely. I am passionate about helping people. That has helped me, big time, in making my business what I want it to be.

Perhaps you love dogs and spending time with them makes you really happy. So what kind of work can you do around dogs?

Here in NYC dog walkers are everywhere. The one I know charges $20 per dog per day and walks up to 20 dogs over the course of 10 hours, 4 days a week. That ‘ s $400 per day, much of it under the table. My friend is very happy with his life because he gets to be with dogs, not have to get up at the crack of dawn and he makes enough money to live the way he wants to live.

So what is your passion? If you want to have career success without a real job, focusing on your passion will make it all the more likely to come true.

#3 – Stay connected to how you are feeling about your career choice.

For many of us, career success evolves over time. What was important to us in our youth might change as we get older.

I have a friend who taught skiing after college. He was passionate about skiing and was able to make enough money to live doing what he wanted to do.

And then he got married and had a child. That changed everything for him. Because he could no longer make the money that he needed to support himself and his family, he no longer thought of himself as successful. And he wanted to change that.

So my friend went back to school and then got a real job – a job in an area that he was passionate about but a real job nonetheless.

For him, even though he transitioned to a real job, he could still define himself as successful in his career.

For me, I could never go back to punching a time clock. Working on my own is a part of who I am now and, even if I would LIKE to be making a bit more money, the fact that I have a roster of steady clients and that my last article was picked up by the Huffington Post, allows me to sincerely feel like I have achieved career success. If I need more money in the future I will branch out from the work I do today but I will never again have a real job.

Having career success without a ‘ ˜real job ‘ is possible, especially in this world that we live in.

No more are 9-5 jobs the norm. Opportunities to work from home or work flexible schedules or have a variety of smaller jobs to pay the bills are part of the current fabric of our working lives.

It is essential, however, for you to define what career success is for you. If you don ‘ t know what it is then it will be impossible for you to achieve it.

Also, follow your passions and stay connected to how your career is working for you. Your definition of career success might change over time and you want to notice if it does.

So what does career success mean to you? Ask yourself that question right now! And let me know ‘ ¦

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published inThe Huffington Post,Prevention Magazine,The Good Man Project,among others. I works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Let me help you! Contact me here or email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com.

7 Things To Do When You Feel Too Overwhelmed To Think Straight

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You know those days when you feel too overwhelmed to think straight?

Those days when everyone and everything is demanding so much from you that you really don ‘ t think that you can take it anymore. Those days where it feels like your head is going to explode.

Let me help you manage the overwhelm. It IS POSSIBLE. It just takes some awareness and action.

#1 – Take deep breaths.

When we are stressed out, the first thing that we do is we stop breathing. Well, not literally stop breathing, because then we would die. But we do unconsciously hold our breath because of increased tension in the muscles used for breathing.

When you are feeling overwhelmed remember to breathe. Deep breaths into your belly in for 3 seconds and out for 3 seconds. Put your hand over your belly so that you can feel it filling up with air. Do this over and over until you feel a little calmer. Repeat throughout the day as necessary.

It will help you A LOT. I promise.

#2 – Go for a walk.

If it ‘ s at all possible, take some time to go for a walk. There isn ‘ t a woman I know who doesn’t say that her stress levels are always greatly reduced after a walk.

The thing about walking is that it kills two bird with one stone.

Walking encourages deep breathing which calms you down quickly.Also, for some reason, the motion of walking encourages clearer thinking. The rhythm of the stride and the increased oxygen intake can make something that was extremely overwhelming just 20 minutes earlier much easier to manage.

#3 – Identify what is causing the overwhelm.

One of the reasons it’s hard to think straight when you feel overwhelmed is that you don’t understand what is specifically overwhelming you.

A client of mine was SO overwhelmed with her life. She found that she had no energy to get anything done, she yelled a lot at her kids and she could barely stand being around her husband.

She figured that she was just too stressed out by her day-to-day living and she came to me to help her get more organized.

We talked for a bit and I came to learn that they have 3 new dogs in the house. 3 new dogs. And they were, you guessed it, causing the overwhelm, not her lack of organization.

Once we knew what was the cause we were able to find a solution.

#4 – Share your stress.

Sharing your stress with another person is a key part of dealing with it.

They say that what is kept inside the head is 4x more intense than what is spoken. Also, if you share your overwhelm you might learn something that will help you manage it. We all have things that work for us and sharing them with others can be very helpful.

If you have someone you can talk with about your overwhelm then absolutely do it. Be it a therapist, a life coach, a friend or a partner, let those overwhelming thoughts out of your head and into the world.

From there they have a reduced power and are easier to deal with.

#5 – Write it out.

Do you journal? Or write letters to yourself? Or scribble notes on post-its? If you do, great! If you don ‘ t, it could be time to start.

Writing about things that are overwhelming you can be useful, especially if you don ‘ t have someone with whom to share your stress. Much like speaking, writing allows you to get your stress out of your head and onto paper.

And when you can see your stress on a piece of paper in front of you, instead of having it rolling around in your brain, it ‘ s much easier to manage.

#6 – Make a plan.

Once you have pinpointed the cause of the overwhelm it is time to make a plan. Without a plan the overwhelm usually doesn ‘ t just disappear. In fact, it often gets worse.

For my client with the dogs, the plan involved crating up the dogs during the dinnertime and also again at bedtime. Not having the dogs bouncing around, distracting the kids and getting into trouble allowed my client to focus on the work at hand and not let it stress her out.

No more yelling at her kids. Phew.

#7 – Follow through.

The most important part of making a plan is following through. Even the best laid plans don ‘ t work if you don ‘ t follow through.

I have a client who is constantly overwhelmed by her life. She can ‘ t keep her apartment clean, has a difficult time keeping appointments, struggles to do things that involve any planning and who would rather just stay in bed all day.

We made a plan for her to hire someone to clean her apartment once a week and to spend 10 minutes a day neatening up. She was so excited about the plan. And then she didn ‘ t do it. And her apartment stayed a mess. And she continued to be overwhelmed. And even more overwhelmed because she had let herself down by not doing it.

So make sure that you follow through on your plans to deal with your overwhelm. If you don ‘ t your overwhelm could actually truly overwhelm you and that will not be fun.

So now you know. When you are feeling too overwhelmed to think straight there are ways to get past it and get past it quickly.

Next time you are feeling overwhelmed get outside and go for a walk, even if it ‘ s just for 20 minutes. Breathe deeply as you stride. You will see that your overwhelm reduces significantly right away.

As you walk, consider what is overwhelming you and make a plan to fix it. If you have someone to help you figure it, out even better. And then make it happen.

Manage your overwhelm. Don ‘ t let it manage you.

 

How Healthy Relationships Work – 5 Things That You Must Know Before You Can Have One

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Wouldn ‘ t you love to know how healthy relationships work?

Is there anything that you would like more than to have a healthy relationship, a love to share your life with?

Sure, a job and a nice apartment and good friends are important to you but really, isn ‘ t love the ultimate goal?

For many of us the answer is yes!

So how do you find love, find a healthy relationship? And how do you know if the relationship you are in now is even healthy?

Let ‘ s talk about how healthy relationships work so that you can have one!

In a healthy relationship:

#1 – Keep things even.

Think about your past relationships that haven ‘ t worked out. Was one of you more dominant than the other? Did one of you have more control? If yes, that might be why it didn’t work out.

In healthy relationships, couples are evenly matched and if they aren ‘ t it ‘ s because both sides are okay with an imbalance.

Does one of you decide more often what you do on weekends? Does one of you decide how the closet is going to be organized? Does one of you decide who your friends are?

Does the answer to those questions above always point to the same person?

If yes, then your relationship is out of balance. If one person has all power in a relationship it ‘ s not healthy. Not healthy because no one can truly be happy if they are being told what to do or made to do things they don ‘ t want to do.

So take a look at your partnership. Are you happy with how decisions are made? If he makes all the decisions and you are still happy then that ‘ s ok. But if you aren ‘ t happy, then it ‘ s time to make change.

#2 – Love yourselves first.

Do you like the person who you are? Do you like the work that you do? Do your relationships make you feel good about yourself? Do you not take others’ actions personally? Are you honest with yourself about your issues and limitations?

All of these are very important pieces of knowing and liking ourselves. It is essential that both people in a relationship know and accept themselves. Because if they do, then they can truly open their heart to another.

I have always struggled with feeling insecure in relationships. I always struggled with the feeling that there was no way any guy could really like me. There was no basis for that but I felt that way and it made me difficult to be in a relationship with.

And then I started my own business. I worked hard and found success. And in the meantime I learned that I was awesome and that I was making a difference in the world and that any guy would be lucky to have me. And guess what! I found an amazing guy because I was not longer insecure about myself.

And, yes, he does love me madly.

#3 – Always be honest.

I have said it before and will say it again. Without honesty there is no hope for happiness in a relationship, or anywhere.

I have a client who lives in constant fear that her husband is fooling around on her. It occupies her every waking moment – that she can ‘ t trust him. That he is talking to another woman while he is at work or out doing errands. She worries so much that it is taking over her life and making her miserable.

So talk to him about it, I suggested. But she can ‘ t. She and her husband have gotten to a place where they don ‘ t feel safe talking to each other about anything, big or small.

So instead of talking with her husband, sorting out her feelings and reconciling them with his actions, she is living with anxiety and fear and she is miserable.

Every person in a healthy relationship is in an honest relationship. If you have issues with your partner that are affecting your happiness, speak up. Let him know how you are feeling and you can work together to try to fix it.

And be honest about other things too – honest about where you go after work or when you are going to see your mother or about how much money you spent on the new vacuum cleaner. Make it a policy to never tell a lie, not even a white one.

#4 – Have a life of your own.

It is very important that both sides of a relationship are not completely reliant on the other for their happiness.

I have a client whose whole life revolves around her husband. She wakes up with him, makes him breakfast, gets him off to work, cleans the house after he is gone, brings him lunch at work, makes dinner for when he comes home and watches what he wants to watch every night.

She has turned her back on everyone in her life so that her husband can be happy. She tells herself that she is happy because he is happy but really, she isn ‘ t.

That is why she is talking to me!

Make sure that when you are in a relationship you have lots of things in your life outside of your relationship. Make sure you have a job, or a hobby, that you love. Make sure that you have friends who you can play with. Make sure that you spend time by yourself so that you are comfortable being alone.

If you rely completely on your partner for your happiness, you will only be setting yourself up for failure. Going away and then coming together to share experiences is a key part of maintaining a healthy relationship.

So call up some girlfriends and make a date for dinner and the movies. Your husband will be fine and will be very happy to see you when you return.

Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

#5 – Make each other feel loved.

Did you know that while you might feel like the things that you are doing for your partner make him feel loved, those things might not actually be working?

Shocking, I know!

Expressing love seems straightforward, no? Well, not so much.

It seems that most of usexpress lovein waysthatWE want to be loved – as opposed to in waysour partner wants to be loved.

We might feel loved when we get a piece of jewelry as an expression of affection but our partner might feel loved by getting to spend a full day together, just the two of you. We might feel loved when we get a hug but our partner might feel loved if we take out the trash.

The key is learning what it is that your partner needs to feel loved. When you learn what that is and express your love using those actions, your partner will truly feel loved.

Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languagescreated a whole movement around this concept of there being 5 languages of love, and thus5 ways to express love to your partner. And when you use your partner ‘ s love language they will FEEL loved.

Check out his website here.

So now you know about how healthy relationships work and now you can get out there and find one of your own or make the one that you are in healthier.

The goal for all of us is love and, in order to find it and keep it, we need to do the hard work.

So make sure that the power levels are even in your relationship. Make sure that you both know and like yourselves and that you each have a life outside of the relationship. Always, always, be honest. And love your partner the way they want to be loved.

So now you know what you are looking for. Go out and find it!

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