5 Life Saving Ways of Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You So That You Can Be Happy

letting go of someone who doesn't love you

Are you thinking about letting go of someone who doesn’t love you?

Have you been hoping that your situation would change and that he would start loving you and that you would live happily ever after?

First of all, let me say that I am SO SORRY that you have to go through this.  There is nothing worse than a broken heart. But let me also say GOOD FOR YOU for recognizing the truth and making this big move.

There is someone out there for you and by letting go of the person you are with now you will be able to find him.

But for now, let’s talk about how to let go of someone who doesn’t love you.

#1 – Ask yourself how determined you are to do this.

Before you begin any life changing process you must ask yourself how determined you are to actually do it. On a scale of 1-10 how close to a 10 are you? Because without steadfast determination you will not be able to accomplish something as challenging as getting past a lost love.

So are you ready to do this? Is there any part of you that is holding on to the possibility that things could work out? Do you feel like you aren’t strong enough to do this yet?

If the answer to any of these questions is a yes then perhaps you should wait a bit longer before you begin this process. Time is a great healer and with some time you will get stronger and be ready to take on this challenging task.

#2 – Make three lists and refer to them often.

List #1: How do you know that he doesn’t love you?

There are reasons why you feel like he doesn’t love you.

Perhaps he no longer makes an effort to spend time with you. Or he doesn’t return your text messages. Or when you are going to bed he just rolls over and turns off the light without kissing you.

Or perhaps he tells you that he doesn’t like or respect you, even as he lets you buy him that new bike or a fancy meal.

You know what I am talking about. Those things in your gut that are telling you that this relationship is wrong. Those things you are ignoring…

List #2: What are you kidding yourself about?

Are there some things that you are doing to talk yourself out of the fact that he doesn’t love you?

Do you think that if you just do this ONE thing he will start loving you again? Or perhaps you wonder how could he not love you because you know you are awesome?

I have a client who just doesn’t get that her man doesn’t love her. He isn’t brave enough to break up with her and just treats her badly. She truly believes that he should love her and that if she just holds on long enough he will know that too. And every day she debases herself by doing his bidding and, surprise, he still doesn’t love her.

Take a true accounting of those things that you are doing to justify staying in this relationship and take a good hard look at them. Without understanding them, you won’t be able to let him go.

List #3: What do you want in a relationship?

If you don’t know what you want in a relationship then you will most definitely be more likely to stay in one that isn’t serving you.

Take some time and write down what you want in a relationship. Most likely you will find that what is important to you isn’t present in your current relationship.

Once you have made your lists, refer to them often.

When we are in the midst of emotional turmoil our brains get cloudy and we can’t think clearly. If you have lists in front of you, lists that can remind you of why you have to break up with this person, you will be able to stay steadfast in your determination to get it done!

#3 – Cut him off.

I know that we all think that we need “closure” at the end of a relationship, that final conversation where everyone gets to say what they want to say and you understand each other and walk away as friends.

I am here to tell you that closure is a myth. What closure really is is one last chance to spend time with and talk to that person you still love. Because really, if you could have a conversation and finally understand each other why couldn’t you make it work as a couple?

So when you have decided that the relationship is over cut him off. Block him on your phone, disconnect on social media, stay away from places where you know he will be.

Why? Because what you need to do is break the addiction you have to this person, to change your habits.

Think about Oreo cookies. You know how hard it is to eat just one? It’s the same with your man. Even one point of contact can draw you back into his circle, the circle that you have decided that you are determined to break yourself out of.

So go no contact right away. It will make the process way easier!

#4 – Believe that you will find another love.

I find this to be the number one obstacle to my clients breaking up with someone who doesn’t love them.

Almost without exception, people who are in relationships that aren’t making them happy don’t try to get out of them because they believe that there will never be another person for them. That if they break up with this person they will be alone forever!

But that just isn’t true. There are many, many fish in the sea and there is one for you.

Of course, if you never have a chance to go fishing, because you are still with this idiot who doesn’t love you then you, won’t find that person. But if you can be brave enough to act, and break up with the idiot, then you will be setting yourself up for finding the love of your life.

A client of mine was in a horrible relationship, one that made her feel horrible about herself. She kept on breaking up with up with her guy and then taking him back. And then one day, after another break up, she was invited to a dance party. At that dance party, which she never would have gone to if she had still been dating bozo guy, she met the love of her life. How awesome is that!

#5 – Get back out there!

I know that right now you feel like you might never love again but putting yourself back out there doesn’t mean you have to fall in love. Putting yourself back out there means that you get dressed up and flirt and date and have a lot of fun. And you will, you WILL, find another love but in the meantime you can enjoy yourself and the freedom that you have as a single girl. Embrace it!

Letting go of someone who doesn’t love you is an incredibly hard thing to do.

You are holding onto the feelings that you had for each other in the beginning, the feelings of excitement about the future that you shared. You want them to come back and for him to love you and that all will be fine.

But you know, in your gut, that that isn’t going to happen. So TAKE ACTION.

Get determined, identify exactly why you are breaking up, cut off all contact with him, believe that your next love is out there and then get out there and find him.

The next short period of time will be painful. Saying goodbye to someone always is. But once you are through it life will go on and you will be in a place to find that guy who will love you, forever.

And you will be happy!


If you’ve made it this far you must really need to let go of someone who doesn’t love you.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before you get even more stuck.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!


(Visited 15,780 times, 99 visits today)
54 replies
  1. Alice
    Alice says:

    Thank you. I was just like these women for 8 years. Now someone else is pregnant. It’s time I would say. I have driven myself crazy for almost a decade. I’ve never been so gutted in my life. I want to wake up tomorrow back in 2010 to start over. I’ve wasted my best years!

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Alice, I am so sorry for your pain but good for you for moving forward. Don’t look back. Your best years are ahead! Mitzi

      Reply
    • Peny
      Peny says:

      And i thought it was only me.I lived a nightmare for 15 years and the ending was exactly the same as yours.I am sorry we had to experience this tragic situation

      Reply
  2. Anja
    Anja says:

    Im right on the cusp….. but im still so confused. Does he love me or not. I know it sounds so silly but i truly dont know for sure. Some days i think he does then others i dont. Why is this answer so elusive?????

    Reply
  3. Graciela
    Graciela says:

    I’m currently facing the reality that my spouse has been falling out of love with me for years. He cheated on me last year and that truly broke me. He was my high school sweet heart and we have been together for 7 years and we struggled on getting pregnant but we were blessed with our son who is a year now. He cheated on me before my son was born. I gave him so many chances and nothing has changed. He told me that I am not the girl he loved in high school. It’s hurts so much despite after the betrayal and hurt he’s done to me, I still love him. But he blames me and gets annoyed by my trust issues. He’s blames me for everything. I was so blind sided. Never seen any of this coming. He says loves but I don’t feel it or see it. I just don’t know how to let go when I love him so much especially I never wanted to have a broken family.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer
    Jennifer says:

    I just ended a 5 year abusive relationship. I am left really hurt but broke it off with him because i knew deep inside me this relationship is toxic reading this article gave me some type of hope it just sucks that i am missing somebody who continually hurt me over and over again i hope this is just a phase and i really get over him .

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Jennifer, I am so sorry that you are going through this! Breaking up SUCKS but I can promise you that it will be better on the other side. And good for you for being brave enough to recognize the toxicity and do something about it! You will be just fine.

      Reply
  5. Ella
    Ella says:

    I have being married for 8 yrs, have a 20 month old son and expecting another one, my husband said he doesn’t love me anymore and I find out he is involved with a 23 yr old girl. He left and went on a trip with this girl and said they were friends, ive seen them together kissing and hugging, i am devastated i feel like my life is a nightmare.
    I am trying to move on but is so hard

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Oh Ella, I am so sorry that you are going through this. My husband did the same to me many years ago and it’s devastating. I can promise you that you will get through this! You are a woman and a mother and you have the strength to get through anything!

      Reply
  6. May
    May says:

    It’s so hard. 🙁 We dated but were incompatible but we stayed friends then my feelings came back and he rejected me and treated me very poorly many times and made fun of me but then he apologised many times and things got better for a while. Eventually he cut me off because I was upset with his behaviour and he said it’s just because he doesn’t want me and I started dating someone else to prove him I can get others if he doesn’t want me and this made him mad too although he doesn’t want me and then I tried to reconcile but this time he refuse. 🙁 We will never work together he says. And I think he is seeing someone else it looks like it and it gives me so much pain I feel like I wasn’t good enough and I hate myself and on top of that a lot of bad things happen in my life lately so much sorrow I feel like im gonna break and I want to keep hoping although I am seeing someone else who is much nicer to me but I kinda friendzoned him because i’m still stuck on my ex and I am so crushed. It’s hopeless we have nothing in common and he is not really very nice except in periods when things were good but I still want to hope please help me. 🙁

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Oh May, I am so sorry that you are in a rough place right now. Hanging onto a man who doesn’t love you won’t help!!! Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin and let me help you break away from him. You CAN DO IT!

      Reply
  7. Kirstie
    Kirstie says:

    Thankyou for writing this helpful article. I am in a most terrible place in a ‘relationship’. The worse he treats me, the harder I love him. I cannot let go yet. Bit one day I hope I can…

    Reply
  8. Julia Metcalfe
    Julia Metcalfe says:

    It’s 5am in the morning and yet again I’ve lost sleep over my current partner. I all ways feel like he loves me because he’s very kind, treats me well, is thoughtful, there for me in times of need, tells me he misses me. But he just won’t say I love you. I said it a few weeks ago and I’m still waiting! to hear it back. I don’t know what to do. I love him very much.
    Thank you for the article. I

    Reply
  9. M
    M says:

    I’m in a little different situation. I’ve know a man for 40 years although we were out of contact for decades we reconnected. I love this man and in his own way he does love me, just not the way I love him. He’s in a relationship and I don’t see that ending. I struggle between wanting to keep his friendship and wanting to let go because I’m hurting I’m not with him. Makes it very hard to let go.

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi M, I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Reconnecting with an old love is something very special but it can be confusing, especially is he is already in a relationship. Does he want to be with you? that is the important question to ask yourself as you consider what to do.

      Reply
  10. Fisokuhle
    Fisokuhle says:

    I’ve been with this guy for 4 years, he has cheated on me 3 times including now and always he would choose the other girls over me. Recently he was acting up and I tried dumping him to see if he would fight for me but he did not. I spoke to him after a few days as if I didn’t try to break up with him. I went to his place to find out what’s happening, he ignored my calls,I went around the open window to tell him to open up and he did. I tried talking to him but I was having no of it he forced himself to having sex with me. At night we tried having sex but because I think I have a medical condition I was having this burning sensation, I couldn’t bare it. Most of the time he would be worried but he was sacarstic about it and said that was nice. In the morning I number kept on calling since last night so I saved the number on my phone and answered, he took the phone from me, I went out to call the girl, she told me everything I went back inside to put the girl on loud speaker, he took the phone and told me that I should leave, I got what I wanted. Later on that day the girl posted pictures of him and her, seems like he went to beg her. Worse part of it in one of the photos he wore the matching T-shirt we both had. Few days later infect yesterday I called him trying to get answers but he hung up when he heard my voice. He told the girl that I was stalking him when I asked him he said I had Stalker tendencies. How can someone who once claimed to love you do this, he told me in my face the I have ruined things for him with this girl, was it the sex. I mean I used to fake it so many times during sex but because I love him I didn’t make it a factor.

    Please help let him go, I hardly eat, he is the first thing I think of when I open my eyes, last thing I think of when I close my eyes.

    Reply
  11. TJ
    TJ says:

    So l broke off things with my boyfriend because l know he doesn’t love me. Its a terrible feeling and l am devastated. We broke up so many times but l keep going back to him. He treats me badly his rough and his not nice. I am really scared l do not want to be alone and lm afraid tomorrow morning his going to text and l am going to reply and repeat the cycle. Its really hard to accept that a person out there enjoys abusing you and seeing u sad.. how do l move past this..my mind and soul is wrecked?

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      I am so sorry that you are going through this but I can promise you that letting go of someone who doesn’t love you is the best thing that you can do. You won’t be able to find someone who really loves you – and hi is out there!!! Let me help you! Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let me help!

      Reply
  12. Diana
    Diana says:

    I have been friends with this guy for 13 years. First on and off dating then he moved in with me (purely a roommate situation with some benefits for a little while). We’ve now lived together for 8 years. We act like a married couple. Our friends and family say the same. I cook dinner every night (i gotta cook, right? So why not make extra?). Anyway, I am clearly and obviously madly in love with him. We travel together, we have the same friends, we know each other’s parents and siblings and even grandparents. I joke that I am a housewife with none of the wife benefits (no sex, affection other than a hug here and there, no living off his paycheck, etc).

    We get along extremely well, we have fun together and we call each other best friends. We travel together and even sleep on the same bed when traveling (not st home). Recently I’ve stopped dating people, he’s seen me go through two relationships and I’ve seen him through 3 since our friendship began. I’ve stopped seeing people to “show” him that he’s my choice. Last night he went to see a girl I know he has a past with. She’s also my friend. They’ve had many hookups throughout the years, so of course i am freaking out. I couldn’t sleep all night. I don’t know if he came back home or not. I can’t do this to myself anymore. I can’t. I also can’t make him leave the house. How do I mentally distance myself from him while remaining sane? I’m at a complete loss. So are our family and friends. No one understands what his issues are.

    Help?

    Reply
  13. Asia
    Asia says:

    It’s been a month and I’m still in pain. It can seem silly because we were dating/seeing each other for a few months but I felt instant attraction right of the bat. I fell for him to quickly and gave my everything right away. A month into dating he became distant and cold and I simply knew it’s not a good sign. He told me he wants nothing but fwb. I told him I’m not interested and stopped talking to him. Occasionally, he would message me and at some point I gave in and replied and we started messaging again which lead to meeting with him…classic. When we met he told me he’s moving out of state soon. My heart literately stopped beating. I should have ran away the moment he said it. He was sweet and apologetic and we had this great connection (or at least what I thought). We kept seeing each other for the next few months and he would become more cruel towards me. I wanted him so bad and hoped a miracle would happened. I became this weak, pathetic version of myself. He would comment on my body, my looks, made jokes at my expense then made me feel like I’m losing my mind. I knew he was leaving and I still couldn’t break this crazy cycle. He left without even saying goodbye. Painfully predictable. My self-esteem shattered into pieces.

    Reply
  14. Ian Clark
    Ian Clark says:

    I found my solemate She is the best it has taken me a long time to find the love of my life, but now she wants a break I am heart broken my life is empty I’m empty..

    Reply
  15. Ines Machado
    Ines Machado says:

    I’m just full of sadness because its hard to get to know that so many others are facing what I have to every single day, I feel alone, have not even one friend that I could talk to, Im currently without a job:(, not even one thing that I feel he feels proud of me… I really wish I could just leave him its not that he’s a bad person just I feel that he doesn’t value me.. And the only thing that make me stay is my kiddo.

    Reply
  16. Sheila G.
    Sheila G. says:

    My ex was abusive and moves like a narcissist… I’m not saying he is one but if it walks talks quacks like a duck… Well I left him a year ago. Yay. We have a child together so I have to deal with him. He is so hard to tolerate. Hot n cold acting. I don’t even want it anymore I just feel like I’m doomed and have no choice. You say that we will meet someone else, well he did a number on my self esteem. I can’t even look men in the eye anymore. I developed crazy anxiety and other issues dealing with him. What man is going to want me? I’m scared of men now so how will I meet one anyway?
    I’m not sleeping with him and I have my own place now. Every time I try to cut him out of MY life (not our kids) he makes me regret it. And I can’t trust he won’t kidnap our kid. So I play nice, bur playing nice leaves my heart open when he’s being decent. The act never lasts and I hate myself for tolerating him but the alternative is worse. He’s vindictive. He’ll never be a good guy for me but part if me wishes he would just straighten up because like I said, I’m in no mental position to date again and I don’t think I ever will be. It’s been over a year, ive been working on myself and I really am over him but still no confidence. It doesn’t help that he keeps reminding me how undesirable I am. My low self esteem would settle for him tho. I plan to make those lists tonight but fear I will still not love myself enough to totally go no contact.
    How do I get over this situation?

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Sheila,

      Thank you so much for your comment! First of all, good for you for all of the hard work you have done! You have come a long way, even if you feel like you haven’t. As to the next step, it’s complicated. After you have made those lists, email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and lets have a free session to see if we can move you forward! You can do this!

      Reply
  17. Natasha arusiuka
    Natasha arusiuka says:

    I feel like I am going through depression, I met this nice guy and maybe everything was moving to fast one thing led to one and he started acting strange not picking my calls ,not replying ,no effort at all he says he is going through some certain things.. so why am I his girlfriend? Why can’t he let me share his pain? He just blocked me out of his world and then out of anger I broke up with him but I still want him back . I felt like I could move in but I ended up begging and I am still begging him and I just want this feelings to go. I cry every single night to sleep .

    Reply
  18. Natasha ify
    Natasha ify says:

    Hello I feel I’m going through depression. I met this guy was really nice to me always calling and calling and texting and we started dating and sex happened . After he started acting strange, doesn’t reply my message,doesn’t call all those sweet things he does and I felt something was wrong and me being me I spoke to him about it and he said he had a lot of things going on around him and I was confused why was I husband girlfriend? Why didn’t he share his pain with me? A lot of questions going through my mind and he just blocked me from his life and out of anger I broke up with him and it affected me a lot I had to beg him that I was sorry and I’ll wait till everything is back to normal with him , till now I am still begging!
    I cry every single night to sleep, I don’t eat anymore,I feel like I’m loosing my mind

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Natasha, I am so sorry that you are struggling so much! What is wrong with men that they let go of women who love them? It does sound like you should let go of him because he doesn’t deserve you! I am happy to talk about this further if you want. Just email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let me help! 🙂

      Reply
  19. Doing Better
    Doing Better says:

    I remember when I allowed myself to be tortured; by the lack of my kids fathers love.
    It had been 15 years of me trying to convince him I could be all he needed: I workout, got my tubes untied so I could have his kids, I cooked more, sexed more and did all I could. All types of other men would find me attractive but i only wanted him.

    Yet, He would still cheat on me. When I stood up for myself he abounded me with our kids.
    Then it hit me, I was trunning 40 this 2018 and did a have 15 more years? Noooo!!!!.. So, i just stopped..I stopped giving him so much attention.. I started to no contact him (after all he’d decided to stop caring for our kids) and started moving on with my life..

    It’s been three months now. I’ve never felt so good about myself. He started facebooking my family but I stay far away…
    I learned to enjoy the feeling of not having to compete with the world.. I tried co parenting with him he refused so I simply stopped allowing myself to be used by him. The no contact is golden.

    Reply
  20. Doing Better
    Doing Better says:

    I remember when I allowed myself to be tortured; by the lack of my kids fathers love.
    It had been 15 years of me trying to convince him I could be all he needed: I workout, got my tubes untied so I could have his kids, I cooked more, sexed more and did all I could. All types of other men would find me attractive but i only wanted him.

    Yet, He would still cheat on me. When I stood up for myself he abounded me with our kids.
    Then it hit me, I was trunning 40 this 2018 and did a have 15 more years? Noooo!!!!.. So, i just stopped..I stopped giving him so much attention.. I started to no contact him (after all he’d decided to stop caring for our kids) and started moving on with my life..

    It’s been three months now. I’ve never felt so good about myself. He started facebooking my family but I stay far away…
    I learned to enjoy the feeling of not having to compete with the world.. I tried co parenting with him but he refused so I simply stopped allowing myself to be used by him. The no contact is golden.

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Doing Better, thanks so much for sharing. You are an inspiration to everyone out there trying to let go of a toxic love.

      Well done!!!

      Reply
  21. Janet Autrey
    Janet Autrey says:

    I did leave 15 years ago. Did not speak for that time, never found anyone else so decided to try again last year. I love him and dont know how to leave this time, all I think about is if he dies I want to be there.

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Janet, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back can be devastating. You have left him before so you CAN do it again, and survive. I am happy to talk to you about this. My email is mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com if you want to try to set up a call. Again, I am so sorry for your pain.

      Reply
  22. Haris
    Haris says:

    I am madly in love with a person who I know from almost 10 years. We have been in a relationship from last 3 years now. I am 28 and she is 23 years old. As we belong to an asian family, so its obvious that parents are involved when it comes to marriage and all. Her father did not approve of my proposal. Yet we still remained in the relationship. We did have any arguments due to this disapproval. I tried and I am still trying to do things which would result in her parents agreeing on me. Last year she went abroad to pursue to master’s degree. We remained in contact, yet due to time difference and different routines, we again had back to back arguments. Yet we still remained in touch. I started obsessing over her. Stalking her social profiles and what not. Now, she have told me that she don’t think she love me any more. All she have in her mind are negative thoughts and frustration so she don’t think that we would be happy with each other and she don’t look forward to see me in her life. She told me that she deliberately avoids me now as she do not even feels like talking or seeing me now. And as per her, its over. Where-as I being madly in love, is devastated. I always cared for her needs more than mine. I did everything I can while being miles away. Yet I cannot imagine her saying all this to me, as just a month ago. She was back here to visit her parents and we had a great time together. There she found a room mate who she says is a good friend of her. He is with her all the time, everywhere. She tells me about him, that he cares for me so much even though there is nothing happening between them as he is just a friend. I think she have found a substitute of me in that person. I am not a very social person. I relied on her completely for emotional support. She was the only person I used to express myself and talk to. And now, she says that she don’t think that we should stay in contact anymore. I am completely devastated. I do not know what to do. All I do is just look at her pictures and messages and cry all the time. I am deeply in love with her, I never imagined her changing like that. Not caring about me anymore, knowing how crazy in love with her I am. I am lost, totally lost. I do not eat, sleep or work properly. She is in my mind all the time. I don’t know what to do..

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Harris, I am so sorry your heart is broken. Read the other articles on my website – there are are more clues about how to manage a broken heart. The best place to start is no contact. The longer you go without seeing her the easier the pain will be. Let her go. Move on. There is someone out there who will love you back!

      Reply
  23. Stella
    Stella says:

    Going through this feels so alone, but reading all of these responses, I see that unfortunately so many women in particular, love so much, even when not being loved, valued, cherished in return. I have been in a FWB relationship for 7 years. I found out 3 months in that he didn’t want commitment. We split for few weeks, then started seeing each other again, but I thought it was because he was changing his mind, having missed me and realized he did want to be with me. We’d share only 1 night every couple of weeks. Rarely I’d go to his house on a Saturday night and leave first thing Sunday morning, because he had “things to do”, or usually he’d come over here on a weeknight, after we both got home from our day at work and gym, spend the night and part in the morning early. Such strong chemistry, physical attraction and intellectual stimulation. Totally into this man. Just when I thought we were getting closer, he’d stop seeing me. I’d question, I’d be hurt for few weeks, then we’d start all over again. It never failed, I’d be fine to the point where I’d have days that I was ok and not thinking about him much, then one day I’d be thinking about him so hard, missing him, and wishing that he could feel my soul somehow thru the universe, and every single time this happened, he would call me that very day. I have always been convinced that we are literally connected with energy. For a bit I detached emotionally and seemed ok with FWB, because our times together were so amazing, but then sometimes I was so emotionally invested that it hurt so much that I was not getting more from him. To make a very long story short, we split in august, he told me he wanted to start seeing other people. I was devastated, but I blocked him and went on with my life (because he really did me a favor and set me free). What do you know, in Dec he found an email address of mine and contacted me, with just a hello. I waited three weeks to respond, but I did. I let him know how I felt, that I saw no reason for him to reach out, and that I didn’t appreciate the abruptness of his letting me go and that I was just getting over him. He apologized, of course, and soon we were in a conversation. He came over two days before Christmas, had dinner, spent a lovely evening, left the next day, and that was pretty much it. Once in Jan and once in Feb we got together again, but I could tell he wasn’t into. I saw him last Tuesday night to put closure to it and never see him again. The hardest thing I’ve ever done, and, he did not fight it. He was all for ending it, and gave me so many reasons why: He’ll never love me. The fact that I love him has scared him away. What if he meets someone else? What if he decides he wants kids, and I don’t want anymore kids. What if he relocates. We talked and I cried, and cuddled. I asked him how can he deny how good it feels to cuddle and just rest our heads together as we sit on the couch, and he said it always feels right when we are together but when he walks out the door, he forgets. Those were his words. Anyway, to recap, we never went in public. In the 7 years we only went out 8 times. For 7 years I accepted the parameters of a FWB relationship. I now am devastated, afraid, feel like something is wrong with me, feel like I wasted so much of my life, and I could go on and on and on.

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Oh Stella! I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling. It’s horrible when a man we loves yo-yos the way he did. I can promise you that it says more about him then it does about you. I would love to talk to you more about this. Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and we can have a free talk about next steps for you. You CAN be happy again. I PROMISE!

      Reply
  24. Rosy
    Rosy says:

    I saw your messages and the help you offer people so I decided to seek help too. There is this guy who has been asking me out for about 2 years and though I liked him, I never said yes cuz I was in another relationship. Immediately the guy I was with walked out, I decided to give this guy a chance. But by that time he had traveled and he claims he loves me so much , we dated for about 2 weeks and he says he can’t do a distant relationship, he needs to have access to his woman blablabla, it really hurts me and it’s so hard for me to let. Am so confused and don’t even know what to do again to convince him to stay. Please do I keep begging him to give us a try or what? Cuz I really love this dude.

    Reply
    • Mitzi Bockmann
      Mitzi Bockmann says:

      Hi Rosy, I am so sorry you are struggling with this man. It sounds like he cares about you but do you live far away from each other? Is that his issue or is it something else? If it’s the distance can you guys fix that? Or is it something else? Ask him! Communication is the best way to make a relationship work! Let me know how it goes…. 🙂

      Reply
      • Rosy
        Rosy says:

        Yes the distance is his only problem.There is little or nothing I can do to fix the distance because I stay with my parents and they don’t give me much freedom to travel around. He still communicates with me so much and he says though we can’t be together now sake of the distance, he prays and hopes the future favors us. He also says he doesn’t want us to loose the friendship we shared for 4 years But he can’t do the distant relationship. His words confuse me, I really don’t know what to expect, all I know is I love this guy and I don’t want to loose him. Am so confused don’t even know what to do.

        Reply
      • Rosy
        Rosy says:

        We really live far from each other( about 18 to 19 hours drive)Yes the distance is his only problem.There is little or nothing I can do to fix the distance because I stay with my parents and they don’t give me much freedom to travel around. He still communicates with me so much and he says though we can’t be together now sake of the distance, he prays and hopes the future favors us. He also says he doesn’t want us to loose the friendship we shared for 4 years But he can’t do the distant relationship. His words confuse me, I really don’t know what to expect, all I know is I love this guy and I don’t want to loose him. Am so confused don’t even know what to do.

        Reply
        • Mitzi Bockmann
          Mitzi Bockmann says:

          I am so very sorry that you are in this spot, Rosy. Unfortunately, right now, all you can do is hope for a future when you can be in the same place. He is being very clear that he can’t be in a relationship with someone who lives so far away. Can you guys still be friends and work towards a time when you might live closer? Perhaps a plan for the future would be helpful for you!

          Reply

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.