5 Ways To Be Happy – Personal Tips For Being Happy In Life

/2 Comments/by

You know that person. The one who is always happy. Nothing seems to get them down. They are successful, have good friends, exude confidence, and are fun to be with.

Is this you?

Everybody wants to be happy. It seems pretty simple, doesn ‘ t it? But the reality is different. Happiness is a choice. A few choices. And it ‘ s totally within reach for everyone.

So what can you choose?

5 Best Ways To Be Happy In Life:

Happiness is something that everyone desires, but it can sometimes feel elusive. Despite our best efforts, it can be challenging to maintain a consistently positive and happy outlook on life. However, certain habits and practices can help us cultivate happiness and a positive mindset.

In this section, I will explore 5 ways to be happy that can be incorporated into daily life to increase overall well-being and happiness. These tips are grounded in research and effectively improve mood and promote happiness.

Whether you’re feeling down or want to maintain a more positive outlook on life, these 5 practices can help you reach greater happiness.

#1 – Choose Truth:

You know, those decisions that make your stomach hurt. You make the ones because your brain tells you it’s the ‘ right ‘ thing to do, not because it ‘ s what you really want.

Yes. Those decisions. You probably made one today.

Those decisions are not based on your truth. They are based on some truth outside of yourself, some truth that is based on what everyone else says is “right.” These decisions are not good for you.

Making decisions based on what you want and what will truly be good for you are based on your truth. This kind of decision feels good in your body. These decisions allow you to sleep at night.

Decisions not based on our truth can make us sick and interfere with our happiness.

How do we stop making these unhealthy choices? We listen to our bodies.

Next time, when presented with a decision that needs to be made, pause and check how each potential decision makes your body feel. Our bodies will only tell us the truth. If the decision makes you feel slightly nauseous, it’s probably not good. If it makes your head hurt, the same. If it makes your heart leap, then that’s it. That’s a healthy decision.

Listen to your body. Unlike your brain, it will never lie to you!

# 2 – Choose love.

Everyone wants to love and be loved.

And ideally, everyone would share their life with that ONE person. The one you curl up with at night and eat cereal in the morning. The one whose hand you hold on the subway and with whom you binge-watch ‘ Sons of Anarchy ‘ at night. You know the person. The one who makes your heart sing.

If you have a person, don ‘ t let them go. And if you don ‘ t, believe that you will. Especially if you are happy.

If you don ‘ t have that person right now, you know that you have other people who love you: your sister, best friend, and neighbor. Make sure that you have contact with someone who loves you every day. In-person, via phone, or text (last choice).

And don ‘ t forget to love yourself. You are awesome. Tell yourself as often as you can. Because you are.

#3 – Choose Yourself:

Do you know how you choose to make everyone else happy first?

You go to that raunchy movie with your kids instead of that historical drama you want to see. Or do you visit your mother-in-law with your husband instead of working in the garden? We all do it. And it undermines our happiness.

Sometimes we must put someone else ‘ s needs above our own, but it ‘ s important to put ourselves first more often than not. Nobody else will take care of us, and we must do so.

You will truly believe you are last if you always put yourself last. Being last will not make you happy. Think back to your fight with your husband while driving home from his mother’s house.

Enough said.

#4 – Choose Kindness:

Did you know being kind to someone else is one of the best ways to feel happy? Think about that woman ‘ s face when you raced after her to return the wallet she left in the store.

Or the way the barista reacted this morning when, after dealing with the customer after customer who had not yet had their coffee, you thanked them with a big smile and a compliment.

Being kind is not hard to do, but so many of us forget to be in this crazy, jam-packed, and exhausting world that we live in. Making that small effort to make someone else happy can go a long way to making you feel happy too.

#5 – Choose To Believe:

A key ingredient in being happy is believing that you can be. Really. It ‘ s not an easy thing.

When you are unhappy it ‘ s almost impossible to believe that you could ever be happy.

When you are unhappy and look ahead, you are doing so with that unhappy feeling in your gut. Your future life seems hopeless because you are unhappy right now. But you gotta believe. Believing in anything is the best way to manifest it. Believe that you will get that job, and you will.

Believe that you will find that love, and you will. Believe that you will be happy, and you will.

How to believe? Visualize that job. Feel how it will feel to have it. Store that feeling in your body and summon it when you have doubts. The same with love. A picture that perfects someone. Feel how it will feel to be loved by them. Picture yourself happy and do the same.

It works. Try it and see.

Happiness is a state of mind. A state of being. If you make choices that cause physical pain, keep you from sleeping, and make you feel hopeless, you will never find it.

Try it. Try putting yourself first, loving yourself and those around you, and being kind and truthful. Believing. What a difference it will make. I promise.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with how to be happy.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before you get even more stuck.

Email me at [email protected], or click here toget started!

5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos

/2 Comments/by


Ok. It ‘ s bedtime. You know the drill. Homework is being wrapped up; teeth are being brushed; the next day’s school clothes are being chosen, lost books are being retrieved, and that last text message is being sent.

And everybody is calmly taking care of their business as you supervise from your easy chair, right? NOT!

Bedtime is chaos. Getting off to school is chaos. Doing homework and making dinner is chaos. Your life is chaos.

Sometimes it ‘ s hard to stay patient in the middle of it all.

There are ways to manage the chaos without breaking down and screaming, which might make you feel better in the moment but is rarely a good motivator. And something you always regret.

Here are my ideas for 5 Ways for Moms to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable. I will use bedtime as an example to work from.

#1 – Stay aware:

Bedtime is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting. Every night. It ‘ s just the nature of the beast. If you go into it remembering that it is chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting, you will have a better chance of managing it without losing it.

Before it begins, take a minute (or more if you have it). Take a deep breath. Have a cup of tea. Whatever it will take to get your calm on, go for it.

If you enter a situation already stressed out, having just finished a work call or throwing the dishes in the dishwasher, chances are you will break much quicker than if you go calm.

#2 – Ask for help:

There are usually two grown-ups in the house at bedtime. Don ‘ t try to do it all yourself. It ‘ s something that we moms try to do. Everything. And it usually doesn ‘ t end well.

Divide and conquer. Each of you takes a child. Or one person manages teeth brushing while the other helps pack up homework. Define your tasks clearly, so everyone knows and sticks to their job.

And don ‘ t let the kids play you off each other. Remember that you are a team and that you are bigger than those little people who are trying to run all over you.

#3 – Declare if you are escalating:

I don ‘ t know about you, but I tend to keep my frustration bottled up, allowing them to slowly build until I erupt with loud, ugly words. My kids then looked at me like I was crazy because they had no idea how the night approached me.

Let your kids know if you start to escalate. I use a 10-point scale: 1 being calm and 10 being at the edge. ‘ Hey kids, ‘ I say, ‘ Mom is at a 5. Can we please calm down and get into bed. ‘

This lets the kids know that your frustration is mounting so that perhaps they can tweak their behaviors to prevent the eruption of Mt. Mom.

#4 – Take a deep breath:

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler on the highway, notice what you are doing. Chances are you are holding your breath. And gripping the steering wheel very tightly. It ‘ s tension-filled; in those few seconds, you inch past them. And your body reacts.

Next time you drive by an 18-wheeler, take a deep breath. You will immediately feel yourself relaxing, your hands unclenching. You will get by that truck without missing a beat.

Take the above action and apply it too chaotic times. Take a deep breath. Repeat as necessary. It is sure to calm you down.

#5 – Visualize what is next:

One of the best ways to get through a chaotic situation is to visualize the prize at the end of the chaos. Bedtime is no exception.

Good things wait for you on the other side when the bedtime routine is over. Time with your spouse. Another episode of “House of Cards.” A bath. Looking in on your beautiful sleeping children. YOUR BED.

As your frustration grows, picture what is on the other side. And know that if you stay calm, the chaos will probably subside quicker, and you will get to your prize.

So there are 5 Ways to Stay Calm in the Middle of Chaos – Even if Losing It Seems Inevitable.

Our lives are chaotic, jam-packed, and crazy. And chances are they aren ‘ t going to change until your kids go off to college and you are left alone in an empty house (but that is a whole ‘ ˜nother topic).

Learning to manage the chaos with your hair and sanity intact is the best way to get through it. And you can do it. Think of all of the chaotic things you have survived already. This is just one more. You CAN DO IT.

Looking for more coping tips to get through your crazy life? I can help. Contact me now, and we can get you started down the path to living the life of your dreams.

Understanding the 5 Love Languages In 2025

/2 Comments/by

 

The 5 Love Languages, as introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” are the different ways people prefer to give and receive love.

These Love Languages include Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts.

Love is the foundation of any relationship but is not always expressed similarly. Each individual has a unique way of expressing and receiving love, which can often lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications in a relationship.

This is where the concept of the 5 Love Languages comes into play.

We might feel loved when we get a piece of jewelry as an expression of affection, but our partner might feel loved by spending a full day together, just the two of you. We might feel loved when we get a hug, but our partner might feel loved if we take out the trash.

Understanding 5 love languages:

The key is learning what your partner needs to feel loved. Your partner will truly feel loved when you learn what that is and express your love using those actions.

Now let me explain each Love Language and the ways to understand them.

#1 – Quality Time:

Quality Time refers to spending time with your partner without distractions or interruptions. It is not about the quantity of time spent together but rather the quality of that time. Quality Time activities include walking, having dinner together, or watching a movie.

Nothing says ‘ I love you ‘ like full, undivided attention. Being there for this person is critical, but being there ‘ ”with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby ‘ ”makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Whether it is spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

#2 – Words of Affirmation:

Actions don ‘ t always speak louder than words. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you if this is your love language. Hearing ‘ I love you ‘ is important ‘ ” hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

To show love through Words of Affirmation, try giving compliments, expressing gratitude, or leaving notes for your partner. These small gestures can go a long way in making them feel loved and valued.

#3 – Physical Touch:

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm ‘ ”they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

To show love through Physical Touch, try hugging your partner, holding hands, or kissing them. These small gestures can create deep intimacy and connection between partners.

#4 – Acts of Service:

Can helping with homework be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an ‘ Acts of Service ‘ person will speak volumes. He or she most wants to hear the words: ‘ Let me do that for you. ‘ Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don ‘ t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

#5 – Receiving Gifts:

Don ‘ t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, cared for, and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous ‘ ”so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols of someone else’s love and affection for you.

So now you are familiar with the 5 Love Languages. What to do next?

Go to Gary Chapman ‘ s website, www.5lovelanguages.com, and, along with your partner, take the assessment. You will learn which of the love languages are yours, and your partner will learn which are theirs.

Once you both know each others ‘ love languages, you can stop stabbing blindly in the dark and tell your partner you love them in a language they will understand.

The result? Loving and being loved. One of the keys to happiness and an essential part of living the life of your dreams.

Want more ideas about how to connect with your partner? I can help! Contact me now, and let ‘ s get you started on the path to the relationship of your dreams.

How To Make A Career Change – 5 Tips to Make IT Happen

/2 Comments/by


You know that you want a career change. You have known it for a long time, but the prospect of doing it is daunting.

There are so many ifs and buts about switching jobs; getting started is the hardest. Where will I go? Will I have to take less money? Will anyone even hire me?

And then you think, ‘ Maybe I should just stay in the job I have now. ‘

No! To move to a new job or career, you must start initially.

How To Make A Career Change (5 Tips):

Are you feeling stuck in your current career? Do you find yourself daydreaming about a different job or industry?

Making a career change can be daunting, but it can also lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Here are five ways to make a successful career change.

#1 – Do Your Research:

This is the most important place to start. Doing your research is essential to getting yourself going. So many of us get stuck in the same old job because we don’t know our options.

See what jobs are out there that you might be interested in, whether in your or another industry.

See what jobs are in alignment with your skillset. You have many skills that you have acquired over the years, which could be useful in various industries.

Research the industries you are interested in, even if it ‘ s the ones you already work in. Things change so quickly these days, and staying up to date is important if you are putting yourself out there.

Information is power, especially when it comes to a job search.

#2 – Update Your Resume And Your Cover Letter:

This is very important. Whether you have been in the same job for 3 years or 30, an updated resume and cover letter are essential. And using the correct format is essential.

Resumes and cover letters these days are no longer read by potential employers but rather scanned. There are so many job applicants that all potential employers have time to do.

Make your resume and cover letter succinct and to the point, very clearly highlighting your skills and experience. Use dot whacks, not full sentences, for easy scanning. Put your most relevant skills near the top of your resume as many employers don ‘ t get more than a quarter down the page before they move on.

Never, ever, ever indicate anywhere that you lack skills. You might be, but you don ‘ t need to tell your potential employer before it is necessary, if ever.

#3 – Apply, Apply, Apply:

Once you have your resume up to date, start applying.

There are a variety of sites where jobs are posted. Locate the ones in your industry and check them daily. The same with companies that you are interested in working for. They post their jobs in the human resources section of their websites. Checking them regularly will ensure you don ‘ t miss out on any opportunities.

Don ‘ t hold back. Apply for any jobs that interest you. There are so many job applicants these days that it might take some time before you get a callback. Or not, because your resume is awesome!

Another important thing to do is reach out to your contacts. The best way to get an interview is through a personal recommendation. So use those contacts. That ‘ s what they are there for.

#4 – Brush Up On Your Interview Skills:

How long has it been since you have had a job interview? A year? 10 years? Interviewing can be like riding a bike in that you remember how to even if you haven ‘ t for a while, but practicing will make sure you don ‘ t fall off.

When you land an interview, take a few minutes and consider some questions they might ask you. Think about what you might answer and practice speaking those answers out loud. Work with a friend or with your mirror. But do it! Practice ‘ ¦

#5 – Don ‘ t Give Up:

Again, like #1, this is key.

Applying for a job can be frustrating and disheartening. So many people are out there applying for jobs, and it can be hard to stand up and be noticed.

But you will be. Put your best self out there as often as possible, and you will be discovered and allowed to shine.

Don ‘ t give up until you get the job of your dreams.

No one should be stuck in a job that they have outgrown. Don ‘ t let indecision and the unknown keep you from seeking a new job.

Wrapping Up!

Making a career change can be daunting, but the right approach can lead to greater job satisfaction and fulfillment. Assess your current career, acquire new skills and education, network and build connections, create a strong resume and cover letter, and be open and adaptable to new opportunities.

Take the first step toward your desired career today!

Looking for more ways to successfully change your career? Contact me now, and I can help!

5 Ways to Protect Your Kids During This Crazy Presidential Campaign

/by


The presidential race of 2016 is like none other. The people are demanding change and with change comes lots of messiness. In this case the messiness involves lots of lying, suspicion, bigotry and name calling.

Many of us adults are completely obsessed with the whole thing, constantly checking the news and reading and re-reading what the candidates are saying. This is okay because we are adults but having the kids too involved with the messiness can be damaging.

I am here to tell you that there are ways to limit the negative effects that a difficult campaign can have on kids.

#1 – Protect your younger kids from anger and hatred.

One of the most remarkable things about this election is the anger flying everywhere. Americans are angry and the candidates are responding with their own anger, some targeting other Americans.

With younger kids it is important that you limit their exposure to vitriol. Young kids are sponges and will absorb any information they are exposed too, some of it good, a lot of it damaging.

So turn off the TV when the kids are in the room. Don ‘ t play videos of the candidates speaking where the kids can overhear. Don ‘ t leave magazines and newspapers with explosive headlines lying around.

It ‘ s summertime. Leave the media behind and get your kids outside.

#2 – Talk about the campaign with your older kids.

Your older kids will be exposed to many, many different perspectives on this election because of social media. Not everything they read will be accurate. Not everything they read will be true. Not everything they read will align with the values you have tried to teach them over the years.

Talk about the election with your kids. Let them ask questions and try to answer them thoughtfully to clarify what they may or may not have heard. And share with them your perspective on what is being said, trying to be as non-partisan as possible.

#3 – Don ‘ t expect your kids to toe the party line with you.

You know what I am talking about. You see little kids attending rallies with their parents, wearing the candidates’ T-shirts. They stand with their parents and mimic everything their parents say, even if they have no idea what their words mean.

Keep your kids out of your politics until they are old enough to decide for themselves what they want and believe. Keep your children innocent for a bit longer because they will have plenty of time to suffer through this themselves when they are older.

#4 – Use this election as an opportunity to educate.

One of the greatest things about America is that it was born from a revolutionary spirit. America objected to how it was being treated by the British, and it revolted and prevailed. As a result, a new nation was born, one based on liberty and equality.

America is going through such a revolution now. The people are protesting against the status quo, the way that our government is using its power to achieve stasis instead of growth. Our country is drowning in partisan politics, and people have had enough.

Talk to your kids about all of this, how great America is and can be, and how we need to recognize our failures, celebrate our victories, and move forward together positively.

#5 – Get yourself away from it all.

I know plenty of people so preoccupied with the election that it is taking over their lives. They are obsessed with what they read and see and spend countless hours arguing with anyone who wants to argue about what the candidates are bringing to the table.

This makes people very, very crabby. And this crabbiness can spill over into your relationships with your kids.

So get away from it regularly. Binge-watch your favorite show read a book, or take your kids for ice cream. Give yourself a break from it all. Take a deep breath and smell the roses.

Set a good example.

We have 5 months left in this campaign. A lot of negative things are going to be said. A lot of name-callings will be done. A lot of promises will be made that might not be kept.

Negativity, name-calling, and lying are all things that we have taught our kids not to do. It is essential that we, as grown-ups, limit their exposure and educate our children so that they can grow up to be the reasonable, thoughtful people we want them to be!

Has this blog made you pause and go, hmmm? I have lots more to share, things that will help you live the life of your dreams. Contact me now and see how.

5 Way To Remember That You Are Worthy

/by


Worthiness. We are all born with an innate sense of worth. As babies, we cry for food, demand attention, and insist on doing things OUR WAY. It is this sense of worth that keeps us alive.

As women and mothers, we tend to lose that sense of self-worth. So much of our time is spent tending to the needs of others, calming crying babies, assuaging angry partners, and talking down disappointed clients, that we stop taking care of ourselves. And when we stop attending to our needs, we start losing our sense of self-worth.

This is not ok. Not knowing how worthy we are can lead to patterns of behavior that only reinforce our belief that we are not worthy of being loved, cared for, or living the life of our dreams. We let our children run all over us, our partners take us for granted, and our bosses demean us.

We stop eating well and taking care of ourselves and we stop reaching for what we want.

#1 – Love yourself like you love your kids.

Take a moment and feel in your body how much you love your kids. That ‘ s an easy feeling to get in touch with, isn ‘ t it? You love your kids unconditionally and would lay down your life for them.

Now, imagine how it would feel to love yourself that way. To know that you always have someone with you who can remind you how awesome you are or point out that you can walk into your boss ‘ office and ask for what you need.

It would feel pretty good, right?

So get in touch with your inner mom and keep her with you always.

#2 – Call your mother.

Look back on #1. Think about how you love your kids. Your mother loves you that much too. So call her.

I have a client who has a twice-weekly phone call with her mother. They don ‘ t discuss anything, just what happens in each other ‘ s lives.

This client ‘ s mother is her daughter ‘ s most faithful fan and cheerleader. She always reminds her daughter of what a great job she is doing as a parent and a wife, the most challenging jobs in the world, and what a wonderful daughter she is for keeping in touch so often.

My client says having one person who regularly reminds her of her awesomeness has changed her life. It gives her the confidence in herself that feeds her desire to be all that she can be.

#3 – Think back to your wedding day.

Your wedding day was a big day. It was a day that you and your partner promised to love and care for each other for a very long time. It was a day when your friends and family stood up for the two of you, supporting you as you started your life together.

Take a moment, take a photo if you have to, and remember how you felt that day. The love you and your partner shared and the love that your friends and family gave you unconditionally. And look at how happy you were cutting that cake ‘ ¦

Remembering your wedding day will remind you that you love and are loved by many people. And what better way to touch base with that inner self-worth than through a bit of love?

#4 – Remember earlier successes.

We have all had many, many successes in our lives but for some reason, it is the failures that stick with us. Do you know those failures that keep you up at night, obsessing? Yep, those.

Instead of obsessing, try taking stock of the successes you have had. The ‘ A ‘ you got on your thesis in college, the interview that landed you that first job out of college, that dress you were rocking the day your partner first saw you, the 10lb child you gave birth to in 3 hours, without drugs. Those are all pretty huge successes. Ones you should celebrate.

Try keeping a list in your head, or even better on paper, of the successes you have had in your life, the successes that deep down you are proud of, and look back on them as needed as reminders of just how amazing you are.

#5 – Relish your everyday victories.

This is an important one. Many of us feel like we are failures all day, every day. We don ‘ t pack an organic lunch for our kids and then yell at them when they dawdle and miss the school bus. We are short with our partners when they let us down in some small way. We don ‘ t get enough work done because we are trying to order shoes for the kids from Amazon. All of these we perceive as failures.

But really, we have successes in there too.

First and foremost, we get out of bed every day. Everyone should see that as a success. It ‘ s not as easy as it sounds.

We might not pack organic, but our kids get lunch daily. We might not have finished that spreadsheet, but our kids will have shoes, which is essential, and that spreadsheet will ultimately get finished.

And we get to crawl into bed with our partner at the end of the day and share the closeness that surviving another crazy day brings.

So when those successes happen, recognize and relish them because you do have them. Every day.

To live the life of your dreams, you need to get back in touch with that child who knew her worth and demanded that she get what she needed to survive and thrive.

So try my tips and see what happens.

And I have more tips to share, so get in touch with me NOW, and we can get you on the way to living the life of your dreams.

How To Stop Fighting With Your Husband In 2023 (5 Best Ways)

/2 Comments/by


Are you wondering how to stop fighting with your husband? Has the frequency and intensity of your fighting grown over time? Do you want to stop fighting so that you can find your way back to each other?

Conflict. We all have it.

We get angry with our mothers, friends, bosses, and kids. It is our husbands, those we have chosen to love and cherish for a lifetime, with whom we seem to get the angriest. And this conflict, this anger, with our husbands can be very destructive and get in the way of living the life of our dreams.

Best Ways To Stop Fighting With Your Husband:

However, there are ways to get through conflict, which is way easier than one would think.

#1 – Carefully choose the time to talk.

This is key.

If you talk to your husband angrily, you will say things you might not mean to say. Words said in the heat of the moment tend to cause much pain and are not necessarily accurate.

Try to wait at least 2 hours after a disturbance before speaking up. This will give you a chance to calm down and speak more clearly. If you can talk calmly about precisely what you are upset about, then you will be more likely to be able to work it out and not let the quarrel escalate.

Also, don ‘ t pick a known stressful time to talk, like during bedtime or just after work. Pick a time when you are calm and can approach the conversation with good energy instead of evil. Calm time can be hard to find, but you can find it when adequately motivated.

#2 – Do not attack.

This is very important and something that many of us do without thinking. And it gets us nowhere.

Let ‘ s say that your husband is always getting home from work late. Instead of saying, ‘ You are always late. Why do you have to be such a jerk? ‘ try saying, ‘ It makes me sad when you are always home late from work. I work hard to get us all together for a family dinner, and I miss it when you aren ‘ t there. ‘

Look carefully at the difference here. If you use the first example, your husband will immediately get on the defensive, and the conversation will end before it begins.

A man and woman playing wii in the kitchen.

In the second example, you are sharing how you FEEL, and no one can argue with how you FEEL. And how you feel is the truth.

What is not the truth is that your husband is a jerk for coming home late.

#3 – Make sure they know you are listening.

This is very hard to do and can feel contrived, but it is crucial to listening and being heard.

It ‘ s called a thoughtful response.

In the case of the example above, with the husband who didn ‘ t come home in time for dinner, the perfect response for him to say would be: ‘ I am sorry that my being late for dinner made you so sad. ‘ With that statement, you know your husband has understood what you are trying to say, which might deflate the argument.

The worst thing you can do is yell back at them, not letting them speak and get their feelings out. Because if you do that, the issue will come up again. Over and over and over.

#4 – Try to remember that we are all only human.

We all make mistakes. More often than not, our troublesome actions are not a reflection of our feelings about someone but are the result of a variety of things (time, motivation, energy level, distractions) that all work together and create a situation that isn ‘ t ideal.

A client of mine’s husband came home on Saturday without picking out the windows he promised her he would pick out. Furious, she said, ‘if you loved me, you would have picked out the windows.’

His mother had called when he was on his way, and he had to run over to help her with something. Yes, it’s not ideal, but it is why he couldn’t do what she had asked, not because he didn’t love him.

Next time you react to something your husband does, take a moment to figure out why it happened. Perhaps you won ‘ t need the two hours to decompress after all.

#5 – Be ready to say sorry and to forgive.

This can be the hardest thing for people ‘ ¦ to say they are sorry and to forgive perceived wrongs… but it is one of the most essential parts of any relationship.

Why don ‘ t we want to say we are sorry? Because it will convey weakness? Because we can ‘ t let go of our anger? Because we are embarrassed by our actions?

Whatever the reason, we need to learn how to do it. Next time you disagree with your husband, try apologizing. See how quickly the anger deflates on both sides.

With the husband who came home late, he should start with, ‘I am sorry that my lateness made you sad. That is apologizing not for the lateness but because of his wife’s pain.

What shouldn’t be said is, “I am sorry that my lateness made you sad, BUT I couldn’t help it.” In an apology, a BUT makes the apology completely ineffective. The BUT means you are making an excuse. You caused pain, no matter the reason, and that needs to be acknowledged.

Similarly, we need to forgive and not hold onto anger. Holding on to anger is one of the most destructive forces in any relationship. If your partner apologizes for his or her actions, you need to find it in your heart to remember that they are only human and that they have taken responsibility for their actions, and that life must move forward.

Final Words:

Arguing with your husband can be a common occurrence in any relationship. Still, it can adversely affect your mental and emotional well-being when it becomes frequent and disruptive. Understanding the causes of your arguments, using effective communication strategies, preventing arguments before they happen, and dealing with ongoing issues are crucial steps to stopping fighting with your husband and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

Remember that relationships take work, and moving past arguments and building stronger, healthier relationships is possible. Learning to stop fighting with your husband is vital to keeping your marriage healthy.

Conflict and the resulting anger with anyone can be devastating, especially with a partner. Left unchecked, anger can take on a life of its own and destroy everything in its path.

Don ‘ t let that happen to you. Try to carefully choose your time to talk. Don’t attack. Let them know you are listening and don’t hold on to the anger.

And then, perhaps, you can settle down to a lovely peaceful, conflict-free evening.

Sounds worth it, no?

Do youwant to know more about how to stop fighting with your husband?
Let me help you NOW before it’s too late!
Email me at [email protected], and let’s get started!

How Life Coaching Can Help You – 5 Reasons To Find A Life Coach

/2 Comments/by


Everywhere you look, you are bombarded with the message that if you do this ONE THING (take a pill, buy a dress, fix your hair, lease a car), your life will change. And we have all tried that ONE THING, and no miraculous change has occurred.

Shocking! And disappointing.

Working with a life coach is different. The life coach’s approach to change differs from anything you have ever tried, and its potential to create significant change in your life is not to be underestimated.

Ready to be all that you want to be? Truly?

How Life Coaching Can Help You (5 Reasons)

Life coaching is the personal development that can help you achieve your goals and improve your overall quality of life. Unlike therapy or counseling, life coaching focuses on the present and future rather than the past.

A life coach helps you identify your strengths and weaknesses, set achievable goals, and develop a plan to achieve them.

#1. A life coach will help you define what you want and who you want to be.

We know we are dissatisfied with our lives, but most of us don ‘ t know what that looks like. A life coach will help you take stock of your life and define where you are and want to be.

Working with me, we will look at 5 critical areas of your life: physical & mental health, life skills, relationship health, personal care, and career satisfaction.

A good look at these areas will help us determine where you are now and where you want to be, information that is indispensable in bringing about change.

#2 – A life coach will help you create a plan.

Once you have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to be, it ‘ s time to make a plan. You can try to do this on your own, but oftentimes, the prospect seems so overwhelming and off-putting that you don ‘ t know where to start. So you don ‘ t.

A life coach can help you cut through the clutter and the chaos and help you create a plan to get you where you want to be, step by step.

#3 – A life coach will hold you accountable.

This is a vital part of life coaching, one of those things that you really CAN’Tfind anywhere else. Seriously. Anywhere else.

We all have friends and loved ones who support us and promise to make sure we do what we say we will do. But they love us, don ‘ t want to nag, and want us to be happy. And all of that is wonderful, but it doesn ‘ t help you reach your dreams.

Every week your life coach will work with you to create action steps, and every week the two of you will come up with a list of ‘ homework, ‘ things to be done to move you forward on your path.

Your coach will ask about your homework the following week, and I promise you will want to report that you did it. And you will want to do it because you will see how remarkable the change is happening.

#4 – A life coach will power you through the obstacles.

Rocks get onto the road that we are traveling. Sometimes they are small ones that we can pick up and toss aside, but sometimes, they are boulders that require more effort to maneuver around.

A life coach has the knowledge and experience to help you break through those rocks. A life coach can teach you the tools to get past any rock that might get in your way, big or small.

And those tools you can use now and carry in your toolbox forever.

#5 – A life coach will give you unconditional support and encouragement.

Think about a football coach. What does he do? He teaches his team how to play their best and cheers from the sidelines as they do so.

A life coach is the same way. A life coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader but, at the same time, teach you how to be your true self.

And a life coach will be there every step of the way to help you when you falter and cheer you on when you succeed.

Isn ‘ t that just the kind of unconditional support we all want?

Final Words:

Life coaching can be a powerful tool for personal growth and development. It can help you achieve your goals, improve communication skills, overcome limiting beliefs, and increase motivation and accountability. When choosing a life coach, finding someone who is qualified, experienced, and who you feel comfortable working with is essential.

So now you can see how life coaching is that ONE THING that can help you bring about significant, wondrous change.

Working with a life coach will help you finally live the life you have always known you could. And you don ‘ t need to change your hair color or ride to do so.

Of course, every time I mention a life coach above, I mean ME, so get in touch with me NOW, and let ‘ s start making your dreams come true!

7 Things to Teach Your Kids SO They Won’t Drive You Crazy

/1 Comment/by


I am on the other side of raising my kids. Well, mostly. Does it ever really end? Both of my kids are in college, are polite, kind, exciting and inquisitive, and I couldn ‘ t be prouder of them.

The teenage years were tough, but not as tough as they could have been because of what we taught them when they were young.

Teaching these things works. I watched my friends who didn ‘ t teach them flounder during those difficult years, and many wished they could go back and reinvent the wheel.

You won ‘ t have to do that if you read this list…

7 Things to Teach Your Kids So They Won ‘ t Drive You Crazy

Being a parent is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. Raising kids can be challenging, from sleepless nights to endless tantrums. As much as we love our little ones, there are moments when they can drive us crazy. The good news is that there are things we can teach them now that can prevent this from happening.

Here are seven things you can teach your kids now so they won’t drive you crazy!

#1 – How To listen.

If you will take only one thing away from this blog post, take this. Listen to your kids and teach them how to listen to you.

Kids have a lot to say, much of it ramblings, but a lot of information is coming out, and if you aren ‘ t listening, you will miss it. If you hear what they are saying, you can help, guide and support them with what they need, not what you think they need.

#2 – How To alk.

We adults tend to discount what children say, and we shouldn ‘ t. Let them talk and feel heard; they will come to you when they are teenagers and need to talk.

Talk to your kids in a way that encourages them to listen to you and understand where you are coming from. If they understand and trust you, they are way more likely to respect you when they are older.

#3 – You have set appropriate boundaries and will stick to them.

This is very important. If your kids learn early what their boundaries are and that their parents will enforce them, they are less likely to push back when they are teenagers. Our kids were allowed one hour of screen time before homework. When that hour was up, there was no arguing because they knew that if they argued, there would be no screen time the next day. And we stuck to it. Listening to their parents will be as much second nature as brushing their teeth.

#4 – Good habits.

Again, instilling habits is about creating habits that are second nature. Ensure they eat breakfast, have some time outside daily, and treat the dog with love and respect. When they become self-centered teenagers, the habits that they have learned in their childhood will stay with them.

#5 – Good behavior.

Another important one. We parents need to model good behavior. To this end, we must follow “The Golden Rule”: do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If you are impatient with your kids or yell at your husband, your kids will see and mimic your behaviour. The same with how you talk to people in the store, on the phone, or at Christmas. If your kids see you being polite, respectful and friendly, they will be likelier to act them same way.

#6 – The value of free time.

Everyone needs to learn what it is like to have some down time. Make sure they have time every day for themselves and aren ‘ t caught up in the maelstrom of modern life ‘ ¦excelling at sports, academics and social service. Yes, make that a part of their lives, but also let them be kids. They will be adults soon enough and will have a lifetime of maelstrom.

#7 – The importance of reaching for their dreams.

Kids have dreams that need to be encouraged and supported by their parents, even if those dreams seem out of reach or ridiculous to you. So instead of trying to ‘ set them straight ‘ about how life works, encourage their pie in the sky dreaming.

And let them fail to reach those dreams, if that is part of their journey. Children who only know success or that their parents will fix everything will never learn how to fail, bounce back, and grow. They will believe everything will be handled and not reach out to the world with confidence and bravado.

If you teach these things to your kids, those teenage years will be more accessible. And those teenage years are when Moms finally have time to grow. If you aren ‘ t always focused on and fighting with your kids, then you will have time and energy to reach out for your dreams.

And don ‘ t forget- I can help you with that. Get in touch with me NOW, and we can get your started. You will be glad you did!

7 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Stuff and Breathe Easier

/1 Comment/by

We all have stuff. It ‘ s just what Americans do. We collect stuff. Some of us have more of it than others, and some have a more challenging time controlling that stuff.

Having too much stuff can cause a ton of stress.

There is an efficient way to get rid of all that stress-inducing stuff, a few secrets of which I will share with you here today.

#1 – Identify what room needs to be de-stuffed first.

This is the key. If you look around the house and think, ‘ I need to get rid of ALL this stuff ‘ , you will get so overwhelmed that you will just go watch an episode of ‘ Orange is the New Black ‘ instead.

Choose one room. Any room. If you want to start small, do so. Like the mudroom or the laundry. Or even a dresser drawer. Completing the task of de-stuffing that room or drawer, will make you feel so good that it will make you want to tackle a larger room next.

#2 – Give yourself time to start and finish the project and prioritise it.

This is key. You need to make a date with that room that you won ‘ t break. If you try to do this ‘ when you have time ‘ well, you know. Most likely, it just won ‘ t happen.

When planning your week, choose an hour or two (or more) and put them on your calendar IN RED so you will see it, remember it and not change it. If it’s on your calendar, you will likely complete it!

Also, Salvation Army (and other charities) will pick up stuff from your house for free. So, call the Salvation Army and set up a pick up date with them. If you have a deadline to work around, you will be more likely to stick to your throw away schedule.

#3 – Turn on Spotify and set up your speakers.

Throwing away is way easier when done to music. Get out your favorite playlist, wear some comfy clothes and get ready to get down to it.

#4 – Start in one corner of the room.

This is a my special secret and one that WORKS!

In the chosen corner of the room, garbage bag in hand, throw things away. Things that you aren ‘ t using that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things you are still using, and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren ‘ t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it ‘ s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for its role in your life, and then say goodbye.

If you come across something emotionally fraught, just put it back and get to it later. Don’t let it shut down your learning out process.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process over and over. Don ‘ t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room. You can do them all in one session or spread them out in more manageable chunks.

#5 – Use the middle of the room.

As you throw away the things that are broken and leave the things that aren ‘ t, you will come across things that can be 1. recycled or 2. given to the Salvation Army. Put those thing in the middle of the room, in two piles. When you are done, you can put the recycled stuff at the curb and wait for the Salvation Army to pick up the rest.

NOTE: if this step is overwhelming, dividing things into two piles, skip it and get a giant garbage bag. Put it all in the garbage, and don’t look back.

#6 – Take a minute and look around.

Stand in the doorway of that room. Appreciate how de-stuffed it is. Notice how it makes you feel. Less stressed? Recognize that YOU DID THIS. All by yourself.

Appreciating your hard work is a great way to be inspired to keep it up. I used to keep my dining room clean so that whenever I walked by it, I was reminded of what I could do.

If you can do this, imagine what else you can do ‘ ¦.

#7 – Do not buy more stuff.

I know this seems obvious, but it ‘ s what we do. We go to Sam ‘ s Club and think, ‘ Oh, look. This croquet set is so cheap, and summer is coming, and we could play together as a family and ‘ ¦. ‘ The reality is that it may get used once and then put away to gather dust.

Consider purchases carefully before making them. You will not only reduce your stress, but you will save yourself money. Money you can use for a massage or something else that will make your life better.

Getting rid of stuff can change your life. De-cluttering your house can de-clutter your mind, freeing it up for way more important things.

Choose what area of your house you would like to start on, set a date, put it to music and throw things away.

Decluttering your house will free you up for bigger things! How great would that feel?

Get in touch with me NOW to get yourself started. You will be glad you did!

 

Connect with Mitzi

© Copyright 2024 – Let Your Dreams Begin