Life Skills Archives

Every day moms take care of everyone else. That is just what we do. We make sure the kids are loved, fed, bathed and supported. Likewise, our partners. We do our best to carry our share, or more, at work and always try to be a shoulder to cry on for our friends.

What we aren ‘ t good at is taking care of ourselves. We set goals to go to the gym, or sleep more or eat better but in the end life gets in the way, and we just let it go.

We don’t have to do this!

Little Ways For Moms To Feel Happier:

Here are 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier.

#1 – Every day, do one thing that makes you happy:

It doesn ‘ t need to be a big thing but do something. Make a playlist for your car and listen to music that makes you sing out loud. Serve breakfast for dinner (because no one ever complains when dinner involves pancakes). Bring your book in the car and read a chapter while waiting to pick up the kids at school. Whatever small thing it is that makes your heart sing.

For me, when my kids were little, every Sunday was pizza night, and then my People magazine and I would retire to the bathtub for an hour. I went to bed Sunday night happy, and Monday mornings were much easier.

#2 – Replace the Oreos:

I am willing to bet that Oreos were not a staple of your diet before you had kids. Am I wrong? But now they are because they are in the cupboard. You get tired, or stressed or bored, and there, right in front of you, is a little disk of self-indulgence. So you eat one or 20, feel better for 30 seconds, and then feel not so good.

Keep something you love in the cupboard that will fill that need when you get tired, stressed, or bored, and go for that instead. Chocolate-covered almonds, honey-roasted peanuts, or individually wrapped chocolates (so you can ‘ t take a handful). And, if you have something that combines sugar and protein (like sweetened nuts), you won ‘ t be affected by the sugar so quickly and won ‘ t get that Oreo cookie crash.

#3 – Play with your kids:

When our kids are born, we all have grand plans to get down on the floor with them and play. And we do, at least until their sibling is born, and then we as often as not let them have at it.

Playing with your kids makes you happier, and happiness leads to healthiness. First of all, play makes you smile, and the physical act of smiling makes you happy. Also, by sheer definition, play is more fun than work. So put on a tiara and frolic with your kids, at least briefly. Try it!

One of my clients plays a game of cards with her kids and her husband every night after dinner. It only takes 20 minutes and they laugh and kid and enjoy each others company. And then off they go to homework etc. She reports that the 20 minutes makes the transitions easier and sets up a much smoother bedtime routine, every mother ‘ s dream.

#4 – Get just a little more sleep:

I know you are saying, ‘ Yeah. Right. ‘ But I am serious. Try to fit just a little more sleep into your day. Actually I am suggesting you build it into your schedule. Right there, between going to the dry cleaners and finishing your project for the meeting. Make a plan to take a 15-minute nap right after lunch, before you head out to do errands. Or sleep 15 minutes later 3 times a week, wherever you can fit in just a little more sleep.

If you sleep in 15 minutes 3 days a week, that ‘ s 45 minutes more sleep. Add two naps in there, and you have more than an hour. Every bit of sleep makes a difference.

#5 – Do one thing that will get your heart rate up:

Can ‘ t make time for the gym? No problem. Even a little cardio is better than none. Why? Because getting your heart rate up produces more endorphins, and endorphins produce a euphoric feeling.

Ideas? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Dance around the kitchen while cooking a meal. Walk the dog. Ride a bike. Kick a soccer ball. Jump on the trampoline. Getting your heart rate up regularly is a very healthy thing to do.

I have a client whose family got a dog. My client was worried because she knew it would do more work for her, which it did. Of course it needed to be walked, but taking it for walks changed her life. Not only did getting out of the house and getting her heartbeat up make her feel good, she also made more friends when she was out with the dog, and we know what more friends can do for your health!

So there you go: 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier. Give them a try for week. See what a difference it makes. Let me know when it does!

Have I missed anything? Do you have something you do that makes you feel healthier daily?

Are you having trouble implementing healthy habits into your life? Do you feel guilty when you try to set aside time to make yourself feel healthier? Let’s talk.

Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

So there aren ‘ t enough hours in the day, are there? There are school lunches to be made, buses to be caught, meetings to attend, dogs to be walked, homework to be done, mothers to be called, and TV shows to catch up on. The list is endless and impossible to manage.

Or is it?

Believe it or not there are ways to get on top of your to-do list.

5 Ways To Be More Prodcutive:

Here are 5 best ways to be more productive in life and work.

#1 – Use a notebook.

A spiral bound notebook. A notebook that makes you happy to look at and that you don ‘ t want to lose. This is the key to being productive. Every organized person you know has one.

It is in this notebook that you keep your to-do list. When something new comes up, you add it to your list. The to-do list in your notebook.

You do not keep your to-do list on paper that gets lost between the car seats or eaten by the dog. Your to-do list is in a notebook you can ‘ t throw away and refuse to lose track of.

#2 – Set priorities.

Every morning take 10 minutes to review your to-do list and to set priorities. You can do this by starring or highlighting the things on your list that you need to get done that day.

Many of us do first the things on our list that we don ‘ t mind doing and don ‘ t do what needs to be done.

Jill HATED making phones calls to set up appointments. As a result she never did set up appointments, so her dishwasher didn ‘ t get fixed, her son missed his doctor ‘ s appointment, and her daughter ‘ s permission slip didn ‘ t get signed. Once she started setting her priorities Jill 1) didn ‘ t have to make all of her phones calls at the same time but made them when they needed to be made (which made them less daunting) and 2) things that usually fell through the cracks (and did more work for her) no longer fell through the cracks.

#3 – Say No!

This is key. It is very, very hard for us to say no. We don ‘ t want to say no for various reasons, whether it ‘ s because we want to do something or we feel like we should do something or we think we need to do something. But before you say yes, look at why you are saying yes.

Janet always said yes, no matter what was asked of her. She liked to keep busy and didn ‘ t want to let anyone down. But of course she ended up letting everyone down because she couldn ‘ t be as effective at her tasks as she might have been. Once she started looking at why she was saying yes, and why she wasn ‘ t saying no, she could pick and choose what she said yes to. Once she did that, she managed her time more effectively and successfully completed each task.

#4 – If it takes less than 10 minutes, DO IT.

Next time you have a few minutes, while waiting for the bus to arrive, or for a phone call to come in or while the kids are watching TV, look at your list. Is there anything on it that you can get done in 10 minutes or less? If there is, DO IT! It ‘ s those little things that are daunting and tend to add up.

And let me tell you, from personal experience, there is nothing more mood-enhancing then crossing something off your list.

#5 – Check your computer only 3 times a day.

Yes, I know. This is the hard one. We are all addicted to our screens. Totally. And I am sure you are familiar with the phenomenon known as ‘ screen sucking. ‘ This is when your computer/phone/tablet screen sucks up your time before you know it. A great way to add time to your day is to stay away from your screen.

I have a client who used to check her phone every moment she got at the expense of everyone and everything around her. She checked it three times a day for one week at my suggestion: once in the morning, once at mid-day and once after dinner. It was painful in the beginning, she reported, but by the end of the week the amount of time she had to be productive had dramatically increased. So try it for one week. See what happens.

There are 24 hours in our day, and everyone should sleep for 8. That leaves you 16 hours a day to use wisely. If you do, your life will be simpler, you will be happier, and those around you will thrive.

Remember- work smarter, not harder. If you feel constantly overwhelmed with your daily tasks to the point where your life is not joyful, let’s talk.