5 Things To Do if You Are Feeling Depressed in the Morning

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Are you finding that more and more you are feeling depressed in the morning? Is the current stay at home situation making it difficult for you to not feel full of hopelessness and despair.

Or perhaps, even before all of this started, you found yourself waking up and feeling depressed in the morning, which tended, more often than not, to sabotage your day?

Waking up and feeling depressed is a horrible thing. It messes with the rest of our day and makes us miss out on a whole lot of living.

So, what do you do if you are feeling depressed in the morning?

#1 – GET OUT OF BED.

The most important thing to do if you are feeling depressed in the morning is to GET OUT OF BED.

The emphasis that I put on this small action is because it is so important.

When we are depressed, our inclination is to stay in bed, under the warm covers. And yes, sleep feels really good when we are depressed but the toxic thoughts that rear their ugly head are not.

When you are feeling depressed in the morning and you can ‘ t get up the energy to get out of bed, do your thoughts go to dark places? Do you start ruminating about everything that is wrong with your life? Do you think about what a loser you are? How you will always be alone? How lazy you are that you can ‘ t even get out of bed?

The longer that you stay in bed, listening to those damaging thoughts in your head, the more depressed you will get. So, get out of bed.

How? I have a number of friends who have some great ideas about how to get out of bed and stay out of bed. Get out of bed to go to the bathroom and then strip your bed of your sheets. Or remove the mattress from the box spring. Or cover your bed with junk. Whatever it takes so that you will not sink yourself back into that cozy den of dark thoughts.

So, GET OUT OF BED. If you don’t, your depression will definitely stay with you for the rest of the day, if not longer.

#2 – Take a shower.

Believe it or not, taking a shower can be an excellent cause for some relief if you are feeling depressed in the morning.

There are a few reasons why. The first is that taking a shower is something that people do on a day that is going to be productive – i.e. when they are seeing friends or going to work. Taking a shower will send a signal to your brain that today is not a day to stay home depressed but to go out in the world, whether you need to or not.

Also, scientific research has shown that hot (and cold) water can be a great anti-depressant. I know that a hot shower, with a cold rinse, or a hot bath can make all the difference for me on a depressed day.

So, take a shower. Wash your hair. Get yourself presentable and ready for your day!

#3 – Eat Breakfast.

I know. You are depressed and the last thing in the world that you want to do is eat anything, much less breakfast.

Eating when you are depressed is an essential tool for lifting your depression. Your body, and your brain, doesn ‘ t function optimally when it has no fuel. When you wake up in the morning and your fuel tank is on empty, the chances of you jumping out of bed and feeling 100% are slim to none.

So, after your shower, put something in your stomach. Something that will give your brain and your body the energy to face the day and get you out of the house and living.

#4 – Do something that makes you happy.

Once you are up, bathed and fed, the goal of your day should be to do at least one thing that makes you happy.

Whether it ‘ s watching a TV show, hanging out with a friend, taking your dog for a walk or having a hot bath, doing even one thing that makes you happy will raise your dopamine levels which in turn will alleviate your depression, even if for a brief time.

The very best thing that you could do for yourself, even if it ‘ s not one of your favorites, is to get some exercise. Exercise, of any kind, raises your dopamine levels and dopamine is essential for mood health. So, if you can get out there and walk or run or dance, you will be glad you did.

#5 – Believe that this will pass.

When we are depressed, it ‘ s very easy for us to believe that this will never pass, that we will always be depressed. When you are in the middle of a depression, the future always looks bleak.

What I am here to tell you is that, from the perspective of someone who isn ‘ t depressed, your world will get better. That the things that are making you feel so down today will not necessarily make you feel horrible tomorrow. If you can just get through this day then chances are that tomorrow, or the next day, your depression will pass and you will be happy again.

Of course, if you find that your depression isn ‘ t passing, or that it ‘ s getting worse, it ‘ s important that you get help.

There are different types of depression and some of them don ‘ t get better without treatment. In fact, some of them get worse the longer they go untreated. So, if you find yourself feeling depressed in the morning but find that your depression is not getting better, reach out to your primary doctor and let them help you get through this.

Feeling depressed in the morning is not fun. After a good night ‘ s sleep, before the day begins, one hopes to have just a few moments of peace to enjoy the corner of the world in which we live. When we are depressed, those moments of peace are stolen from us.

So, if you are feeling depressed in the morning, get out of bed, take a shower, eat some breakfast, do something that you love to do and have some hope. Depression is horrible but it doesn ‘ t have to ruin your life.

Do the things that you need to do NOW to manage your depression before it gets worse!

If you have made this far you must really be feeling depressed in the morning.

Let me help you, NOW, before your depression gets worse.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

5 Things to Do When Your Spouse is Driving You Crazy

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Ok, so. Is your spouse driving you crazy? Was marriage hard enough before all of this started and are you finding it nigh on impossible now that we are all stuck at home.

You are not alone. Divorce attorneys are reporting higher than average inquiries into divorces and researchers are not expecting a ‘ ˜Covid-19 baby boom. ‘ People are struggling, individually, and even more so, sometimes, in couples.

So, what you can do when your spouse is driving you crazy, both during these crazy times and once things get back to normal?

#1 – Take a time out.

The most important thing to do if your spouse is driving you crazy is to get the hell away from them.

I know, easier said than done these days but it is possible.

Your biggest enemy when your spouse is driving you crazy is proximity. When you are in the same space with someone who is watching TV all day or farting often or slurping their coffee or whatever, unless you get away from them you will most likely explode. And, as I am sure you know from previous experience, exploding doesn ‘ t make anything better.

So, what can you do to take your time out? Ideally, you would be able to go for a walk or a run. Exercise and sunshine are the best medicines when we are feeling angry or stressed out. If it ‘ s possible, get outside and as far away from your spouse as possible.

If you can ‘ t get outside, go into another room. Take a bath. Watch your own TV show. Read a book. Put some distance between the two of you.

If your space is really cramped, headphones can be a lifesaver. Use some to listen to music or a podcast or an audio book or just simply as ear plugs. If you can ‘ t hear your person, more than likely you will no longer be annoyed by them. Out of sight, and hearing, and out of mind.

#2 – Communicate.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Talking to them will just make it worse, right? Yes, it will, if you do it in the moment that your spouse is driving you crazy.

I would suggest that, after you get some space and your frustration and anger dissipates, you talk to your spouse about what is driving you crazy. And I would suggest a certain way to do it so that you are successful.

If him slurping his coffee is driving you nuts, try to tell him that the slurping sound makes you feel irritated. Not so much that you are irritated by him but at the sound of the slurping. Of course, you can ‘ t get mad at the coffee so might it be possible for him to make an effort not to slurp. If the noise is gone, or reduced, you most likely won ‘ t be as irritated.

If you tell your husband that he is driving you crazy by slurping his coffee he will get defensive because you are attacking his actions. Instead, talking about how his actions make you feel is something that he can ‘ t argue with.

Does this make sense? Here is an article that I wrote about effective communication with your spouse.

#3 – Cut them some slack.

One thing my therapist pointed out to me a long time ago is that none of us are perfect. And, of course, we rarely set out to drive each other crazy.

Be honest, do you think that your husband is slurping coffee just to annoy you or is it a longstanding habit that perhaps you used to find endearing?

With that thought in mind, perhaps his actions can bother you less, if you recognize that he isn ‘ t setting out to drive you crazy but that he is a person in the world who isn ‘ t perfect.

I am guessing there are a few things that you do that drive him nuts as well and that you do them because you aren ‘ t perfect either, not to bother him.

So, let your partner off the hook sometimes. It ‘ s way better than getting all worked up.

#4 – Consider what is really going on.

I know that I used to snap at my ex-husband A LOT. Of course, some of it was because he was driving me crazy but, more often than not, there was something else going on.

I remember lots of snapping when we were trying to get the kids out the door or get them into bed or managing how to get to a family event or some other mundane but incredibly frustrating daily activity.

So, when your spouse is driving you crazy, take a moment and consider if it is actually them irritating you or if there is something else going on. It could be work or a body ache or your mother or any other myriad of things. If you can stop yourself before you get to frustrated then the damage to your marriage might be minimal.

#5 – Get physical.

One of the hardest things to do when your spouse is driving you crazy is to touch them but it is the best thing that you can do to fix it. A hug can be better than a thousand words.

I am not saying that you have to go over and hug your spouse when they are driving you crazy but I would encourage you to do so when you have done the above steps and settled down.

Physical contact is incredibly important to keep couples connected. For many married couples, sex gets complicated the longer the marriage goes on and, as a result, physical contact can also be curtailed because everyone is insecure about what that physical touch might mean.

So, putting aside sex, make an effort to hug your spouse for 10 seconds at least once a day. They say that a 10 second hug can make a huge difference in connection between couples.

Try hugging. Even if it feels kind of weird and unnatural, try it. It could make a huge difference.

Even outside of times of crisis, when your spouse is driving you crazy life can be unpleasant.

Of course, you can sink into the anger and resentment that happens in marriage because of unresolved issues or you can try a few simple steps to try to repair things.

Take some time away to calm yourself down, make an effort to talk to your spouse about how you are feeling, recognize that they are only human and that perhaps they have something internal happening and reach out and touch them.

Your spouse is someone who you committed to love forever, in good times and in bad. Try to manage those moments in time when your spouse is driving you crazy and you are way more likely to live happily ever after!

You can do it! I promise.

 

If you have made this far your spouse must be really driving you crazy

Let me help you, NOW, before it overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order? 5 Ways to Ride it Out.

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Oh my gosh, so many people I know are feeling depressed during the stay at home order.

Our lives are so different now. The things we used to take for granted – restaurants, massages, hanging out with friends, taking road trips, even going to the doctor – are all missing from our lives right now, leaving what feels like nothing. We are feeling empty and lonely and bored, among other things.

Unfortunately, many of those emotions can lead to feeling depressed. For many of us, feeling depressed before the coronavirus was a daily reality but for those of you who haven ‘ t struggled with it before it can be especially hard to manage.

Let me give you a few tips, from someone who has lived with depression for years, for how to best ride out feeling depressed during the stay at home order.

#1 – Focus on what you do have.

Are you spending much of your day thinking about all of the things that you usually have in your life? Work, friends, sex, dating, the gym, Starbucks? All of those things have been important, and taken for granted, parts of our lives and their absence can be devastating.

Would it be possible for you, instead, to focus on what you do have?

I was talking to a friend of mine whose husband died last year and I mentioned that my boyfriend and I aren ‘ t as physical these days. She said ‘ ˜Don ‘ t take each other for granted. I haven ‘ t been touched in 3 weeks. ‘ That gave me pause and I went and hugged my boyfriend.

I learned a big lesson from her, to appreciate what I do have. Can you take stock of what you do have? Do you have a roof over your head, a job, friends to keep in touch with, free time to watch some TV that you haven ‘ t been able to watch? Do you have a pet who will give you love, the ability to get outside into the woods, more family time then you have had for years?

All of those things are important to take stock of. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner) our lives will go back to (somewhat) normal and we might not ever have the life that we have now again.

So, take a moment and take stock of what you have. It might help you feeling depressed during the stay at home order in a big way.

#2 – Have hope.

One of the hallmarks of depression is hopelessness. And it ‘ s hard to not feel hopeless these days. We are dealing with a normal that we have never had to deal with before, with no easy end in sight, and it ‘ s hard to believe that we could ever be happy again.

I am here to tell you, however, that this will end. The life that we are living right now, socially isolated, wearing masks, staying 6 feet away from each other, not traveling and being generally afraid, won ‘ t last forever.

Yes, it might take a while for our lives to go back to the way they were before but they will go back. And when they do, our lives will go on. We will date and go to Starbucks and fight with our families at Thanksgiving and soon forget that this was even part of our reality in early 2020.

So, have hope. This will not be your life forever. I promise.

#3 – Get some Vitamin D.

When people visit the doctor about feeling depressed one of the first things that is done is a test for Vitamin D levels. Low levels of Vitamin D are found in many people who are feeling depressed and, for many, a Vitamin D supplement can make all of the difference.

Another way to get Vitamin D is to get out into the sunshine. I think that, because our outside time has been limited, many of us have low Vitamin D levels and that is causing some (or all) of our depression. So, try to get outside and get some sunshine.

If you can ‘ t get outside, there are natural light lamps for sale that do an excellent job imitating the beneficial aspects of the sun. They are inexpensive and you can put one on your breakfast table and get a Vitamin D dose right then and there.

So, if you are feeling depressed, get yourself some more Vitamin D, however you can, and see if it helps!

#4 – Distract yourself.

Unfortunately, when we are depressed, one of our worst enemies is our brain.

When we are feeling depressed, more often than not our brains get caught in this cycle of negative thoughts. We think about how horrible our life is, what losers we are, how our parents neglected us, how we have no friends. These kind of thoughts go around and around in our brain and sink us down deeper into depression.

One of the best tools against depression is to distract that brain of yours. Watching a movie or binging on TV, reading a book, talking to a friend, listening to music, having sex, all of these things will stop that brain of yours from doing the negative circle dance and give you a break. And, even if the break is just for a short time, it will be a break. Just like taking a break when you are climbing a mountain, that mind break will help you manage your depression before it sucks you dry.

#5 – Get some help.

One of the most important parts of managing depression is to know when you need to get some help.

If you were depressed before all of this started and you find yourself sinking deeper into it, it might be time to call your doctor. Doctors are doing video consultations so perhaps you should call yours and tell them what is going on.

If feeling depressed is new for you, try to do some of the items above and see if they help. If you find that you aren ‘ t getting better, contacting your doctor would be a good idea. They might be able to give you additional support to get you through these times.

Depression can take its toll if it is left unmanaged. Don ‘ t let your depression take over your life. Make sure that you get some help if you need some.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order is something that is way more prevalent than anyone of us would like.

Fortunately, there are ways to manage it. Take stock of what you do have, know and believe that this crisis will end, get some Vitamin D and keep that mind of yours busy.

Most importantly, if you find that your depression is getting worse, that you find that you can ‘ t get out of bed and that you are full of hopelessness and despair, call your doctor. Get some help. This is very, very important.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order is not abnormal. Be soft on yourself. Manage it. We can all get through this. Together, and apart.

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with feeling depressed during the stay home order.

Let me help you, NOW, before it gets worse.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

5 Reasons Why Your Dating Anxiety is on HIGH During Social Distancing

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If there is one consistent theme in the sessions I am having with my clients is that their dating anxiety has been ramped up to HIGH during this period of coronavirus and social distancing.

Dating is hard enough. Dating at a distance takes it to a whole different level.

Let me explain why.

#1 – How do you follow your gut?

In my experience, I have found that one of the most difficult things about online dating is that, until you actually come face to face with someone, it ‘ s hard to really know how you feel about them.

When I was dating, before I knew better, I would spend weeks talking to someone I connected with online. And, as time went on, I found myself become attached to them. And then, when I met them, the attraction just wasn ‘ t there.

I hated that. I had really liked this person before we talked and, for whatever reason, once we met, I just didn ‘ t feel it.

That is the theme around dating right now. Unless you met your person before this all started, you don ‘ t really know them and can ‘ t go with your gut.

On the other hand, I have a client who went on one date with a guy right before the lockdown. They really liked each other but haven ‘ t seen each other since because of the social distancing. As a result, she is starting to question whether she did really like him. She still talks to him but without the face to face she is having a hard time connecting the way she did initially.

#2 – It ‘ s all weird.

No matter if you are 25 or 55, you have most likely been on a date before. It usually includes meeting up for a drink or a dinner, small talk, perhaps a walk, or a movie. If things go well, you make plans to do it again. And, hopefully, again.

These days, dating has been turned on its head. The things that we have always done we can ‘ t do anymore. As a result, the actual process of dating has become uncomfortable. As if dating wasn ‘ t difficult enough.

Not only do we need to deal with getting to know someone but we also need to create new ways of doing so. Facetime movies and drinks, walks in the part 6 feet apart, maybe binge watching a show together. And, the hardest of all, trying to find something to talk about that ‘ s not the coronavirus.

So, if your dating anxiety is high, the uncomfortableness of the new normal of dating could be why.

#3 – Hopelessness.

A client of mine is talking to a number of guys, none of whom she has met yet. And while talking to them helps pass the time, she often says to me ‘ ˜what ‘ s the point? ‘

For many of us right now, we just don ‘ t know what the future looks like. We don ‘ t know when and how this craziness will end and, if it does, what life afterwards will look like. Will we have jobs, money, our health, our families and friends? We just don ‘ t know.

That not knowing what the future looks like makes it really hard to imagine having a future with someone. How can you picture and work towards happily ever after with someone if you don ‘ t know if there is even going to be an ever after?

For many people, hopelessness in life and love equals dating anxiety. It ‘ s even worse right now.

#4 – Emotions are running high.

For one of my clients, she said the biggest challenge for her is to ‘ ˜contain the crazy. ‘ I love that phrase.

We are all, to some degree or another, very emotional. When we first start dating we try to contain that emotion somewhat so that we don ‘ t scare our person away. I am not saying we aren ‘ t ourselves but that we do try to not let our emotions get the best of us.

In this day and age, all of our emotions are running high. With the news and the lack of social interaction, the boredom and the monotony, many people are living on the edge of insanity. When we are dating, the edge of insanity is not a good place to be.

For one of my clients, a man she had just started talking with is normally a clinically depressed person. He has been treated for it and generally has it under control. Right now, however, he is really depressed and is having a v

ery difficult time managing it. My client feels badly but she knows that she doesn ‘ t want to be in a relationship with this guy the way he is.

In regular times, this man ‘ s depression might not have reared its ugly head so quickly and so dramatically and my client might have gotten to know him and love him and understand that depression is just part of who he is.

#5 – Looking for commitment.

One of the most interesting things that I am seeing happening right now is that many people who are newly dating are looking for a commitment unnaturally early.

For those people who are social distancing alone, not having a partner can be especially painful. The idea that everyone else is out there quarantining with their person while they are alone, alone, alone is just too much. As a result, they seek to create a committed relationship out of something that isn ‘ t there yet.

I have a client who has been talking to a guy for about a month. They talk on the phone daily and they have sat at least 6 feet from each other 3 times but that is it. They haven ‘ t touched, they haven ‘ t gone out in public, they haven ‘ t met each other ‘ s friends.

This morning, this guy asked my client if she would go off the dating apps, that he wants them to be in a committed relationship and that she needs to stop talking to her old boyfriend. She said ‘ ˜Wait, what? ‘

In the normal world, this whole scenario most likely would never have happened.

The human need to be coupled up is a significant one and especially during these difficult times. That need to connect is a big reason why dating anxiety is so prevalent and so extreme right now.

Dating is hard and dating anxiety has always a part of it but, because of coronavirus and social distancing, that anxiety is going through the roof for many people.

The new normal of dating and not knowing the future is so uncomfortable, it ‘ s hard to follow your gut, to control emotions that are running high and manage the politics of being single make what has always been a thing fraught with stuff, something even harder.

I know that it ‘ s hard but I would encourage you to take stock of what I have said and persevere nonetheless. This WILL be over someday and when it is, wouldn ‘ t it be nice to find love again for the summer?

You can do it!

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with dating anxiety.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before you topple over the edge.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Diagnosing Situational Depression: 5 Things You Should Tell Your Doctor

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Are you really struggling with your moods and wondering about diagnosing situational depression and have no idea where to start?

There is so much conflicting information out there about depression – what causes it, how it presents and how to treat it – that it can be overwhelming.

There are two primary kinds of depression – chemical and situational. Chemical is caused (at least in part) by a chemical disorder in the brain. Situational depression is usually brought on by a life event, like a death, divorce, job loss etc.

Doctors can easily tell the difference and will make diagnosing situational depression, or chemical depression, a fairly straightforward thing.

It is important to be clear with your doctor about what your life looks like so that he or she can diagnose and treat you properly.

Here are some questions to ask yourself that will help you have important information to share with your doctor.

#1 – Has anything happened?

Life can be really hard sometimes. Really hard. And we humans are extraordinarily resilient but sometimes it gets to be just too much.

Last year, my dog died, a friend killed himself, another friend tried to kill herself, my mother-in-law died, a killer round of poison ivy led to steroid induced mania and my ex-husband betrayed me in a way that I never could have believed would happen. Needless to say, by early winter, I was a mess.

I talked to my primary care doctor because I wasn ‘ t feeling well and she asked me about what was going on in my life. It didn ‘ t take her long to go about diagnosing situational depression and helping me see it for myself.

Since that diagnosis I have been taking an anti-depressant to help me manage my moods. I am not planning on taking it forever, just until my life steadies out and my moods are more manageable.

Has anything happened in your life recently? Something that might cause you to feel hopelessness and despair in a way that you haven ‘ t before? Take an accounting of what that might be so that you can share it with your doctor.

#2 – Do you feel hopeless?

One of the hallmarks of depression is hopelessness.

Do you have a hard time getting up in the morning because you can ‘ t see how the day will be anything other than miserable? Do you think about next week, or next year, and picture nothing on the horizon but more dread and despair? Does the idea of spending time with friends or family make you crawl back under the covers?

If you are feeling hopeless and believe that there will never again be joy in your life, share that with your doctor. It will go a long way towards diagnosing situational depression, if appropriate.

#3 – Can you live your life?

Are you able to get out of bed in the morning? Are you able to get in the shower and eat your breakfast? Are you able to get out of the house and to work? Are you able to do your work to everyone ‘ s satisfaction? Can you go out for dinner with friends or family and enjoy yourself?

If your answer to any of those questions is no, you might be struggling with situational depression.

For many of us who live with depression, the desire to live our lives can be hard to access. The idea of doing anything other than lying on the couch fills us with such an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dread that all we can do is stay there.

If you find that it ‘ s difficult to live your life in any meaningful way, tell your doctor.

#4 – Are you short tempered?

Do you find yourself impatient and quick to anger? Are things that you used to be able to roll with now things that you find yourself chafing at?

Are people keeping a wide berth because you are no longer fun to be with? Are you starting to hate being with yourself because you are so unpleasant?

People who struggle with depression often find themselves to be short tempered in a way they weren ‘ t before. The heaviness of the depression, the way that it makes us feel bad about ourselves and how we aren ‘ t living our lives in any meaningful way, makes us crabby with the world in a way we aren ‘ t normally.

So, if you are quick to anger, tell your doctor. You will be one step closer to them diagnosing situational depression, maybe.

#5 – Are you sleeping?

Are you having a hard time falling asleep? Do you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep? Are you groggy in the morning, so groggy perhaps that it interferes with your life?

Many people who are struggling with situational depression have a hard time sleeping. A big part of the inability to sleep is from ruminating over what has happened and processing the anxiety around it as well. This leads to endless nights, in bed but not sleeping. And then maybe sleeping too much during the day, sleep that isn ‘ t good for you.

Unfortunately, lack of sleep can be a huge contributor to, and indication of, depression. And, the more you don ‘ t sleep, the worse it gets and so you don ‘ t sleep because you are worried about it and then it gets even worse.

If you find yourself staying up all night and being groggy in the morning, or sleeping all day, tell your doctor. It is important information for them to have.

Diagnosing situational depression can be a fairly easy thing for your doctor to do.

If something has recently happened to you, if you find yourself not living your life or spending time with others, if feelings of hopelessness and dread overwhelm you and you are quick to anger, tell your doctor.

Let him or her help you manage this depression so that you can get on and live a full life.

You can do it. I know the idea seems overwhelming but if you do it NOW you will be one step closer to getting the help you need.

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with depression.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

How to Keep Your Relationship Strong during Coronavirus Isolation

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Are you stuck at home with your significant other, wondering how to keep your relationship strong during coronavirus isolation? Good for you for being proactive.

Coronavirus has changed, at least temporarily, the everyday life that we Americans have lived for so long. Instead of going to work and school, the grocery store and the movies, we are stuck at home. And if there is nothing that Americans suck at more, it ‘ s staying at home.

One of the first relationship that get frayed during crisis and isolation is often our romantic one. As time, fear and boredom take over, the instinct to take it out on your partner is not small.

There are ways to get through these scary times with your relationship intact, and maybe even stronger. Let me suggest how.

#1 – Respect each other ‘ s fears.

In our house, my boyfriends and my way of dealing with everything that is going on is quite different. I have been obsessed with watching the news and learning everything that I can about what is going on (without getting hysterical). For my partner, he has been keeping up on the news peripherally but generally going about his life.

To his credit, he is happy to sit there and listen to me while I spout out whatever information I might have just learned. What occurred to me yesterday, when I was sharing ‘ ˜just one more thing, ‘ was that I might be driving him crazy and stressing him out by interrupting him all time and sharing whatever tidbit I had discovered.

If your partner is like me and you are more like my partner, are you being supportive and listening? If your partner is lackadaisical and you are stressed out, are you respecting their need to be that way and not insisting that they listen to everything that you have to say?

If you and your partner are reacting differently to this health scare know that, to keep your relationship strong, having a talk about the differences and making an effort to respect those difference will help keep your relationship strong.

#2 – Respect each other ‘ s space.

Weekends are lovely at home but, more often than not, when Monday rolls around my guy and I are ready to get back to work and have some space. Not because we don ‘ t love each other madly but because sometimes too much togetherness isn ‘ t necessarily a good thing.

It is important that, to keep your relationship strong during this time where you and your partner might be stuck at home together, you respect each other ‘ s space. That no matter the anxiety, or the boredom, that might be consuming you both, give your partner the time to step back and take care of themselves.

What does that look like at our house? My boyfriend is, as we speak, in the garage working on a car project that he hasn ‘ t been able to get to because he has been working so hard. I am inside, on the couch with my kitty by my side, writing my blog. When I am done, I will make lunch for both of us and then he will go back to the garage and I will do some yoga. Later on, we will take a walk.

Not being in the same space 24/7 is going to be a key part of us getting through all of this together time intact. You can do it too. Because none of us wants to be alone during this time, and no one wants to be even more stressed out because their partner is driving them crazy.

#3 – Respect each other ‘ s needs.

Everybody has needs that help calm them during stressful times. It is important that, right now, we try to identify, respect and meet each other ‘ s needs.

For me, right now I need to be able to putter around my house. Keeping it orderly makes me calmer. I need to be able to cook comfort food, even if it isn ‘ t healthy. Having my feet rubbed during our evening TV makes me happy too.

For my partner, shockingly, it seems to be sex that he needs. I tried to postpone indulging last night and was met with a frown and a pouty face. I indulged him and he was happy. He also finds peace working on any car – solving problems and finding a cure.

Try to figure out what your partner needs during this stressful time. If you can ‘ t identify what they need, ask them. A key part of living together in peace will be by giving each other what you each need.

#4 – Respect your time together.

If there is one thing that couples in America don ‘ t have enough of its time together.

Our crazy work and parenting schedules make it so, at times, couples barely say more than a few words to each other over the course of a day other than ‘ ˜good morning ‘ and ‘ ˜good night. ‘ We are accustomed to this being the way things are but the way things are are rarely good for any relationship.

A wonderful way to take advantage of this time that you and your partner have together, and to keep your relationship strong, is to do things together. Take walks, binge watch ‘ Better Call Saul, ‘ have backgammon marathons, fool around. You have nothing but time right now so make the best of it!

Using this time of coronavirus isolation for good can be just the thing that saves a relationship that is struggling and making stronger one that is intact.

#5 – Respect yourself.

It is important, during this time of crisis, that you respect and care for yourself.

Men and women, both, have a tendency to go into overdrive with care giving and crisis management when confronted with something unknown and scary like the coronavirus. And when we do that, we can suck ourselves completely dry.

Make an effort to take care of yourself. Take baths, take walks, exercise (outdoors), watch cute cat videos on YouTube, play with your kids. Whatever it is that gives you pleasure, even in the short term.

If you find yourself wearing out and getting crabby, think about what they tell us on airplanes – ‘ ˜put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. ‘ That ‘ s what we need to do right now. Even if you are working hard to keep your children feeling safe (and not bored) or dealing with a crabby partner who hates sitting still, make a conscious effort to step back, if only for a bit, and take care of yourself!

Knowing how to keep your relationship strong during coronavirus isolation is a key part of getting through the crisis intact.

Don ‘ t belittle your partner ‘ s emotions, share what you both need to get through this, make the most of your time together and take care of yourself!

I know it feels like everything has changed and will never be the same but we will get through this as a nation and our relationship can survive and, even thrive, in spite of it all.

If you have made this far you must really be going a little crazy with isolation.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before you get crazier.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Situational Depression Triggers & Symptoms that You Need to Know Now

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Are things in your life rough these days? Are you plagued by feelings of hopelessness and dread? Are you wondering what situational depression triggers look like and how to tell if you are suffering?

Let me help!

Combating situational depression is different from dealing with other kinds of depression. Identifying the cause and effect is the key. Here are some things that you need to know how to fight the fight and win!

#1 – Know what situational depression is.

Diagnostically, are two basic kinds of depression: situational depression and chemical depression. They have similar symptoms but different causes.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to youeven if your life is going great.

So, ask yourself some questions about what your life looks like these days to help you figure out what kind of depression you might have.

If you think you have situational depression, read on. If you think you have chemical depressionhere is an article for you to read to learn more.

#2 – Know what is causing YOUR situational depression.

As I stated above, situational depression happens when something occurs in your life that causes you extreme stress and because you haven ‘ t yet adapted to the changes brought about as a result of that event.

Situational depression triggers can include:

  • Problems at work or school
  • Illness
  • Death of a loved one
  • Moving
  • Relationship issues

Furthermore, many people who struggle with situational depression often have preexisting experiences with some sort of trauma that might contribute to their mood changes. Some possible experiences may be:

  • Existing mental health problems
  • Several difficult life experiences happening at once
  • Having gone through considerable stress as a child

So, take a good look at your life right now. Are you struggling with something? Is your child having issues at school? Is your marriage a mess? Are your parents ill? Have you had a recent relationship break up? Anything that is out of the ordinary and which is making it more difficult to function.

If you are sad, and any or all of those situational depression triggers sound familiar, you might be situationally depressed.

#3 – Know the symptoms of situational depression.

Most people with situational depression develop symptoms within roughly 90 days following the event that triggers the condition. Symptoms can include:

  • Listlessness
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of enjoyment of regular activities
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Sadness
  • Recurring bouts of crying
  • Loss of interest in food
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Loss of Concentration
  • Withdrawal from work or friends
  • Suicidal thoughts

Symptoms of situational depression vary from person to person and usually include more than one of the symptoms above.

Review the list above carefully. If any of these things seem familiar to you then you might be struggling with situational depression and it ‘ s time to deal with it. Situational depression can cause severe disruption of your life if left untreated.

#4 – Know the best way to treat situational depression.

In many cases, situational depression will ease on its own. There are things that you can do in the meantimeto help relieve the symptoms. Getting exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, sharing your feelings and doing things that make you happy can all help ease your sense of sadness.

However, if your symptoms are seriously disrupting your life or not going away, it would be a good idea to talk to your primary care doctor about what is going on. It might be time to talk to a psychologist and/or get treated with some medication.

Either way, it is important that you pay attention to your moods so that you know if they are getting worse or better. It ‘ s often easy to lose sight of the fact that it ‘ s the depression that is making your life so bleak. We start to blame ourselves for not being strong enough or outgoing enough or smart enough when in fact our self-image is clouded by the depression.

Checking in with your moods regularly so that you can deal with them properly is an important part of dealing with your situational depression.

#5 – Know that you should have hope.

Some people with situational depression have symptoms for longer than 6 months. This is especially common when something else happens during the recovery period, which often happens because, well, this is life.

If yourdepression is seriously impacting your life, whether just for a few weeks or a few months, reach out to your doctor to get some support. Your life just might depend on it.

Luckily, for many, situational depression can abate quickly, especially if you make a special effort to take care of yourself, sleep and eat well, get exercise and hang out with those you love.

So, have some hope that your situational depression will most likely pass, that it won ‘ t be a part of your life forever. How you are feeling today is most likely not how you will feel in a month or two.

Knowing situational depression triggers and symptoms is the key part of learning how to live with it.

Fortunately, dealing with situational depression is possible. Take a good look at your life and try to identify what might be causing your sadness. Knowing what the source of your sadness is the first step to dealing with it.

Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat and sleep well. Pay attention to your moods and manage them. Have hope that, with time or with treatment, it will pass and you will get your life back.

You can do it! I promise.

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with situational depression.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it gets worse!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Why You Should Consider Letting Go Of Someone You Love For Their Own Good

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Are you in a complicated relationship? Are you wondering if it ‘ s a healthy one? Are you thinking that maybe letting go of someone you love for their own good is the way to go?

I get it. This is a complicated question and one worth some serious consideration before taking action.

I believe that are three reasons to even consider letting go of someone you love for their own good. I will address each of them here and reasons that you might consider letting them go.

#1 – Their baggage is hurting the relationship.

Are you madly in love with a person who is very damaged. Someone who has baggage from past relationships, who struggles with family issues, who has issues with anger or insecurity, who has substance abuse issues etc? Someone who is hard to be with because of their damage.

Many of us stay with people, even if they aren ‘ t making us happy, or even if they are making us miserable, because they have issues that we believe that we can fix. We believe that they can ‘ t possibly get better if we don ‘ t stand by their side.

And those are admirable thoughts and I understand they come from a place of love, but really, if you love them, you should consider letting them go for their own good.

Many of us who stick around because we think we can fix our person, or that they need us, are, in fact, enabling the damaging behavior. We tend to overcompensate for their damage – perhaps justifying their drinking or molding ourselves to be someone different from who we are so as not to trigger them about lost loves. Who tiptoes around to prevent an angry outburst.

These things are understandable and I know you feel supportive but they aren ‘ t helping your person get any better. In fact, they could be making them worse.

If you can find the strength to let your damaged person go, if you can tell them that you love them and that you want to help them and support them but that all you are seeing is them getting worse and your relationship getting more unhealthy, you can actually give your person a chance to get better.

If you let your person go and they find that they aren’t only alone but that they aren ‘ t in a relationship where someone is overcompensating for their issues, people are way more likely to get help.

I know you are worried that if you let them go, they will get fixed and find someone else and live happily ever after. And that might happen. But I can promise you that, if you hold onto them, hoping they will get fixed and you will live happily ever after, you won ‘ t. You will just be miserable.

So, if your person is struggling in a way that is hurting your relationship, consider letting them go for their own good. So that they have a chance to be healthy and happy. And you do too.

#2 – You don ‘ t love them the way you should.

I remember when I was married and I was unhappy, I used to think about letting go of my husband so that he could find someone who made him truly happy. But I still did love him, even if we were struggling, and the thought of him being with someone else made me sick to my stomach.

So, for selfish reasons, I held on and we were both miserable.

If you love someone, but know that you don ‘ t love them enough, let them go. Let them have the opportunity to be happy, to find true love, to not live a life that isn ‘ t as full as they deserve.

I know that it ‘ s scary, and I know that you are worried that if you let go of this person you might never find love again. And I get it. But I can promise you that if you don ‘ t let go of this person who you just don ‘ t love the way you should, then you are doomed to years of misery.

And I can also promise you that if you do let them go, you will find someone else to love.

So, if you look at this person you are with and feel love for them, but not enough, let them go. Give you both a chance for happiness.

I know that after we divorced, both my ex and I were lucky enough to find our soul mates and we are both living happy lives. I still remember that feeling in my gut but I am glad that things turned out the way they did.

#3 – You are yo-yoing.

Are you in a relationship with someone who you love but aren ‘ t sure you want to be with?

Perhaps you aren ‘ t happy with how they treat you or you are feeling restless or you find yourself wanting to spend more time with your friends.

Perhaps, because of this, you tell your person that you need some time. You move out of the house, or stop calling or ghost them. You put an end to the relationship.

And then, a day or a week or a month later, you go back to them. Perhaps because you are hoping that things can be different or perhaps because you are feeling lonely or perhaps because hanging with your friends has gotten boring. Whatever the reason, you go back.

And then, after a period of time, you realize that nothing has changed, that you still don ‘ t love this person the way you want to. And you leave again.

This is called yo-yoing and it can be devastating for the person being left behind. I have many clients who are subjected to yo-yoing and I can tell you that, without exception, the yo-yoing destroys their self-esteem. They are left feeling like they aren ‘ t good enough, wondering why it is you can ‘ t love them like they love you. They try to change who they are, hoping that things will be different this time. They are tormented by what their person is doing after breaking up with them.

If you find yourself coming and going with your person, stop! Try to look outside of your own selfish needs and let them go. Let them find themselves again, to know that they are enough and to stop their torment about what you are going to do next.

If you can do this, both of you will have the chance to be happy and find love and not be stuck on this gerbil wheel of trying to make something that is broken work.

Considering letting go of someone you love for their own good is a big deal.

When we first meet and fall in love, we have so many hopes and dreams for the future. Letting go of those hopes and dreams can be devastating.

But, ultimately, letting go of someone you love for their own good, and for yours, is the best course of action.

The goal in life is to be happy. Letting go of someone you love will make that a possibility for both of you.

 

If you have made this far you must really be wondering about letting go of someone you love.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before there is any more hurt.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

 

Why Not Playing the Victim After Your Breakup Will Help You Heal Faster

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Be honest – are you playing the victim after your breakup?

Sure, your person has left you and you are alone, devastated, and that is a truly horrible thing. And perhaps you are convinced that your person is a horrible person to just walk out on you even though nothing was wrong. Perhaps you are telling yourself that you are the victim in all of this.

Now, I am not saying that you haven ‘ t been blindsided and hurt deeply – this is how it is at the end of a relationship. But I would argue that perhaps what you are telling yourself isn’t, in fact, true and that if you continue to play the victim in your breakup, if you continue to take no responsibility for its demise, then it will take much longer to heal.

Let me explain why ‘ ¦

#1 – You will retain your power

When my ex decided he didn ‘ t want to be married to me anymore, I was devastated. I couldn ‘ t believe that my marriage of 18 years was over. And, believe me, the instinct to curl up in a ball and give up was strong. And, to be honest, I did for a while.

And then I met a woman who had already been through a divorce and she changed my life. She told me that it was important to pick my head up and figure out how to move forward. She told me that I had to move out of our family home and bring everything that was important to me with me. She encouraged me to find a lawyer and make a plan for what I wanted my next steps to be. She encouraged me to keep talking and being honest with my kids about what was going on. And she encouraged me to love me in spite of the fact that my soon-to-be ex no longer did.

These things she taught me were the best things I ever learned. I wanted, more than anything, to just give up. Instead, I took a good look at what I wanted my life to look like and how to get it and I set out to do just that.

I found a therapist and a lawyer and, with their help, defined who I was and what I wanted the rest of my life to look like. Instead of waiting for my ex to file for divorce, I did it. I stood up for myself during our divorce negotiations and got what I needed to move forward and be safe. I spent many hours talking to my kids about what was going on to that they could understand and move forward as well.

By doing all of those things, by not lying down and letting my ex run roughshod over me, by not feeling sorry for myself that I was being abandoned, by not blaming him for everything but understanding my own part in the divorce, I was able to retain my power and get what I needed to move forward and be happy.

#2 – You will be able to make change.

When I worked with my therapist around what had happened in my marriage, I learned a lot about myself and my role it ‘ s demise.

Right after my husband left me I spent a lot of time angry at him for walking away without making an effort to fix our marriage. We had a family and history and had made vows and he had just walked away.

With time, however, I was able to see that, while I didn ‘ t walk away from our marriage, I did play a role in its demise.

I knew that I had been unhappy for a long time and hadn ‘ t expressed that unhappiness in a productive way. I had merely sulked and gone silent, hoping for change that would never come because of the lack of communication between us. I never talked to my husband about what I was feeling, instead only complaining to my friends. I took for granted that he would always be with me, no matter how I treated him.

None of these things were ok.

My ex, of course, bore half of the blame for the demise of our marriage but, playing the victim, waiting in vain for him to take responsibility for his part, was only causing me to be angrier. And then I realized – I can ‘ t change him but I can change myself.

So, I did. I set out to learn everything about myself and everything about what a healthy relationship looks like. I learned about the importance of communication and honesty and empathy and forgiveness. I learned that I wasn ‘ t so good at some (all) of those things in my marriage and that I needed to make change.

And I did.

Now I am in a healthy relationship, one in which I can practice the skills that I learned instead of playing the victim. How lucky am I?

If I had continued to play the victim, to expect him to change and to take responsibility for what happened, I never would have gotten where I am today.

#3 – You will be in control of your emotions.

When you aren ‘ t playing the victim, you maintain control not only of your emotions but also in control of how your relationship with your ex plays out.

I have a client who is constantly reaching out to her ex, via text and phone, to find out what happened in their relationship and to see what she could do to fix things. She berates him for leaving her and questions his worth as a person, all the while begging him to take her back.

At first, he engaged with her but eventually he blocked her because he just couldn ‘ t take her anger and self-pity any longer. He no longer respected her as a person and was happy to share that with all of their friends.

I have been working with my client to stop reaching out to her ex, to accept her role in the end of their relationship and to realize that begging and berating makes things worse and not better. That reaching out the way she was and being rejected, over and over, was damaging her relationship with herself and hindering her healing.

So, if you find yourself seeking reaching out to your ex, overcome with emotions and feelings of self-loathing, stop for a moment and get in touch with reality. Your relationship involved two people and its demise did too.

Hold your head up high, maintain your pride, don ‘ t debase yourself in front of him and you will feel better about yourself and heal much faster.

#4 – Finding your next person will be easier.

I don ‘ t know about you but I have been on dates where men go on and on about their exes and how horrible they were and how they had been used and abused and cast aside.

One man spent a full hour talking about how horrible is wife was and how she used to tell him that he was too judgmental and how stupid she was because of it. He actually turned to me and said ‘ ˜you have known me now for an hour, you know how non-judgmental I am. ‘

That was the only date that I almost walked out of.

My point here is that, if you are no longer playing the victim after your break up, you will not only be more confident in yourself but you will also be way more attractive to a prospective partner.

Self confidence that comes from not being a victim is very sexy but so is not spending hours talking about how you had been wronged and how broken you are because of it. Who wants to get involved with someone who is broken by someone else?

So, take back the power from your ex and recognize your role in what happened. If you can accept it then you will be in way better shape to meet someone and fall in love again.

#5 – You will win the break up.

My millennial daughter and her friends have translated this term for me – that the first person who is happy after a break up is ‘ ˜wins. ‘

With that concept in mind, let ‘ s talk about the person who is playing the victim. The person who lays on the couch eating ice cream and never showering. The person who talks to anyone who will listen to her about how she was wronged. The person who calls his ex over and over and over, begging for a second chance. The person who hates themselves for being left behind.

Do you think that you will be truly happy if this is what your life looks like? Do you think that the people around you will see you as happy? Do you think your ex will regret leaving you? I think the answers to all of those questions is no.

So, pick your head up and look ahead and not back. Be determined to not play the victim but to look forward in your life and get the happiness you seek. Don ‘ t let any ex hold you back. And picture the look on their faces when they see you, happy and beautiful, living a full life without them. You will have officially, ‘ ˜won ‘ !

Playing the victim after your breakup is not uncommon.

The brain, when the heart is suffering, will do anything to try to ease the pain. Playing the victim can help ease the pain because you believe that you are not at fault and if you can blame someone else, the pain can temporarily relieved

I believe, however, that if you continue this playing the victim after a breakup you might feel better in the short run, but in the long run you won ‘ t heal. In the long run you will be stuck on this gerbil wheel of self-pity and recriminations and you won ‘ t have a chance to live a happy life.

So, get yourself up off your couch of self-pity and take back your power. Take a good hard look at your role in the demise of your relationship and be determined to make change. Keep control of your emotions so that they don ‘ t control you and have faith that your next person is right around the corner.

Most importantly, know that letting go of playing the victim, of taking responsibility and making change will make you stronger and more confident, which will mean that you can have a truly happy life.

I know because I did and today I am happy. Truly happy.

If you have made this far you must really ‘ ¦.

Let me help you get there, NOW,

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

8 Things To Try When Feeling Depressed And Lonely

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You know those days when you ‘ re feeling depressed and lonely?

Those days when you are full of despair and feeling hopeless? Those days where it feels like you just want to crawl into bed and never get out?

Are you having one of those days today?

Let me help you manage the depression and loneliness. It IS POSSIBLE. It just takes some awareness and action.

#1 – Assess the situation.

There are two kinds of depression, situational and chemical. They have similar symptoms but different causes. Knowing what kind of depression you have is the first step to dealing with it.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to youeven if your life is going great.

So, ask yourself some questions about what your life looks like these days to help you figure out what kind of depression you might have. If you think you have situational depression, read on.

If you think you have chemical depressionhere is an article for you to read to learn more about next steps.

#2 – Do things that make you feel good.

If you ‘ re feeling depressed all of the time, our inclination is to collapse into our life. We stay in bed, we don ‘ t shower or eat well and cut off contact with those we love.

Let me tell you: if you are feeling depressed and lonely, collapsing is absolutely the worst thing that you can do. Instead it is important to do things that make you feel good.

For me, I keep a list of things to do when I am feeling depressed. First off: take a long, hard walk (the endorphins are great for my depression). Also, do yoga. Watch The Walking Dead. Take a bath. Go to the movies. Have sex. Eat Pad Thai. When I am depressed I do one, or all, of those things and my depression is often lifted.

So, what makes you happy? Write out a list, when you aren ‘ t depressed, of what makes you happy so that when you are depressed you are ready.

#3 – Manage your thoughts.

Unfortunately, when you ‘ re feeling depressed and lonely, our worst enemy is that brain of ours.

While we are lying on the couch feeling sorry for ourselves, our brain is actively buying into it all. You are a loser, it says. You have no friends. You aren ‘ t good at anything. You will never find love. You suck at your job. And on and on.

And, chances are, that none of those things are true. That you are not a loser, you have plenty of friends, you are talented, love is out there and your boss thinks you are doing great. But your brain, when you are depressed, just doesn ‘ t go there.

It is really important, when you ‘ re feeling depressed, to keep your brain busy. Yoga is a really good way to do this – you are so busy trying to figure out the damn pose that you don ‘ t have a chance to think about anything. It also has the side benefit of toning your body and making you feel strong, which can be helpful.

Other options for keeping your mind quiet are: reading, going to a movie, hanging out with friends, working. Meditation is also an option but I just get more depressed when I try, and fail, to meditate. If you can do it, go for it!

What do you like to do that will help you quiet that mind of yours, the mind that is feeding into those feelings that are bringing you down? Figure it out and do it!

#4- Go for a walk.

If it ‘ s at all possible, take some time to go for a walk. There isn ‘ t a woman I know who doesn’t say that her stress levels are always greatly reduced after a walk.

The thing about walking is that it kills two bird with one stone. Or rather three!

Walking encourages deep breathing which calms you down quickly.Also, for some reason, the motion of walking encourages clearer thinking. The rhythm of the stride and the increased oxygen intake can make something that was extremely overwhelming just 20 minutes earlier much easier to manage.

Furthermore, the dopamine that your body creates with the motion of exercise works to help alleviate your depression instantly.

So, get outside and get your heart rate up. It ‘ s a great way to manage feeling depressed and lonely.

#5 – Share your feelings.

Sharing your depression and loneliness with another person is a key part of dealing with it.

They say that what is kept inside the head is 4x more intense than what is spoken. Also, if you share your depression you might learn something that will help you manage it. We all have things that work for us and sharing them with others can be very helpful.

If you have someone you can talk with about your depression and loneliness then absolutely do it. Be it a therapist, a life coach, a friend or a partner, let those overwhelming thoughts out of your head and into the world.

From there your thoughts have a reduced power and are easier to deal with.

#6 – Write it out.

Do you journal? Or write letters to yourself? Or scribble notes on post-its? If you do, great! If you don ‘ t, it could be time to start.

Writing about things that are overwhelming you can be useful, both for your depression and your loneliness, especially if you don ‘ t have someone with whom to share your sadness. Much like speaking, writing allows you to get your sadness out of your head and onto paper.

And when you can see your feelings on a piece of paper in front of you, instead of having it rolling around in your brain, it ‘ s much easier to manage.

#7 – Find a friend.

I know. When you are feeling depressed and lonely one of the hardest things to do, ironically, is to get out of the house and spend time with people. Spending time with those who love you can lift your depression and loneliness big time, if only for a bit.

If the prospect of hanging with a group of friends is daunting, choose one friend. Perhaps the one who knows you best and can accept where you are right now emotionally. A friend who will put no pressure on you to ‘ ˜get over it ‘ or ‘ ˜suck it up. ‘ A friend who will laugh with you and be silly but who won ‘ t try to fix you.

So, pick up that phone right now and reach out to that person. Make a date and do it! I promise you that that time spent will help you when you are feeling depressed and lonely.

#8 – Talk to your doctor.

If everything else fails and still you find yourself feeling depressed and lonely all of the time, then it ‘ s time to call your primary care doctor.

Feeling consistently depressed and lonely might indicate some serious health problems and getting a complete check-up from your doctor could be really important.

Your doctor can take a look at all aspects of your life and help you come up with a plan for managing your depression and loneliness so that they don ‘ t get worse. Which they will do if they are left untreated and allowed to persist.

Remember, your doctor won ‘ t judge. There are lots of people who feel just like you do every day and that ‘ s what doctors are there for – to help us all.

If you ‘ re feeling depressed and lonely all of the time it ‘ s important that you do something about it and do something about it now!

Do a quick assessment of your life and try to figure out what kind of depression you might have. Take care of yourself, make yourself happy, keep your brain busy, spend time with one friend and, if necessary, see your doctor.

Depression can go away on its own if properly managed but will get worse if left untreated. So, try the things that I recommended above but always pay attention to how you are doing. If you are getting worse and not better, get help!

You can do it!

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with feeling depressed and lonely.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

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