5 Tips For Being Productive When Depressed

/by


You know those days when you wake up depressed and you know that it ‘ s important that you be productive nonetheless? Those are rough days!

It is possible to be productive when you are depressed. It might at times feel like you are climbing a mountain backwards in flip flops but if you have to be productive it IS possible.

How?

#1 – Get out of bed!

This, obviously, is the most essential piece of being productive when depressed. And it ‘ s most probably the hardest.

For most of us bed is our favorite place to be when we are depressed. It ‘ s cozy and warm and safe and we can sleep away our sadness. At least for a while.

But to be productive you have to get out of it. Which is hard but imperative.

People I know who suffer from depression have a myriad of tricks to get themselves out of bed and stay out of bed. They place their alarm clock across the room and when it goes off they have to get out of bed to turn it off. Some people strip their sheets off their bed once they are out or even take their mattress off it ‘ s box spring. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and getting started on their day.

#2 – Exercise.

The second most important piece of being productive when depressed is getting some exercise.

I know! The prospect seems herculean but what a difference it will make if you can do it!

Exercise produces endorphins which is exactly the chemical that is deficient when you are depressed. Exercise will help replete your bodies supply of endorphins, at least for a while.

And newly stocked your body, and mind, will able to be more productive.

So get out and do something. Take a walk, go for a run, do some yoga, play frisbee. Whatever you enjoy that will get your heart rate up and those endorphins flowing.

#3 – Choose one thing to get done.

Sometimes all it takes is doing one thing to get out of a depressed stupor.

Sitting in your bed, or on your sofa, pondering all of the things that you have to do can be so daunting that you give up completely and instead binge watch The Walking Dead. That is not productive.

Instead of focusing on everything you need to get done consider ONE thing. And get up off the couch and do that one thing.

Often times, if we are able to break our stupor and get something done we will feel so good that we will want to go on to another thing. And, while we might still feel depressed, we are being productive which will ultimately help put that depression at bay.

#4 – Choose to do things that you CAN do.

When I am depressed there are some things that I am absolutely not capable of doing. Making phone calls is one of them. I hate making phone calls on a good day. On a depressed day, forget about it.

I do know that on a depressed day there are some things that I can do. I can sort through my piles of paper and recycle and file them as necessary. I can go through and clean up my email inbox. I can do research on future blogs. I can go for a walk.

I know my things might seem weird but they are my things. Think about the things that you could do when you are depressed. And do them. Because even if you can ‘ t make phone calls doing something else is definitely productive.

#5 – Let yourself off the hook.

Okay. You are depressed. And it sucks. But it is what it is.

Recognize that you are depressed and that you will have to ride it out. And in the meantime you might not be as productive as you would like to be but you are as productive as you can be.

If you don ‘ t let yourself off the hook, don ‘ t recognize that this depression will pass and that you will become your old self again, you will only sink into a deeper sadnesswhich could fuel your inability to be productive.

So take care of yourself. Recognize that you are in a tough place and that you are doing your best nonetheless.

And then get up and do that one thing!

Being depressed is horrible. Being productive when depressed can seem impossible. But it doesn ‘ t have to be!

Living with depression is like carrying a 50lb gorilla on your back. It ‘ s debilitating and exhausting. But it doesn ‘ t have to defeat you.

Get out of bed, exercise, choose one thing to do, do it and let yourself off the hook.

Trust me! You will be glad you did.

Are you struggling with being productive when depressed?
Let me help, NOW, before it all becomes too overwhelming!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

How To Make It Through The Day When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed And Tired

/1 Comment/by


Our modern lives are chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting and it can be hard to make it through the day when you are feeling overwhelmed and tired. And because it seems that every day is the same it can be very hard to get ahead of it all.

It IS possible to get through those days overwhelming and exhausting days. All it takes is a little awareness and intention and you can do it!

Here are 5 ways to do so.

#1 – Make a list and prioritize.

When you are feeling overwhelmed and tired just thinking about all of the things that needs to be done can shut you down for the day. And shutting you down for the day is definitely not what you need because that will only lead to more overwhelm tomorrow!

So take a minute and make a list of everything that you think needs to be done today. Once you have a list make a list of everything that REALLY needs to be done today. And then take that list and prioritize what needs to be done first, second and third.

If you know exactly what needs to be done, and you can look at it in front of you, your overwhelm will immediately subside, at least a bit. A big piece of overwhelm is the result of just not knowing what needs to be done.

#2 – Take it one step at a time.

Once you have your list it ‘ s important to start at the beginning.

You have a list and it ‘ s prioritized and now it ‘ s time to take it one step at a time.

Another cause of overwhelm is that we jump too quickly ahead or start to visualize an end result that isn ‘ t what we want it to be and so we get derailed.

So take each item on your list individually. And if something gets in the way don ‘ t give up. Get back to your list and keep moving forward.

#3 – Do something for yourself.

A key part of surviving through exhaustion and overwhelm is to do something to take care of yourself. When we are at the end of our rope our tendency is to put ourselves on the back burner and everyone and everything ahead of us.

It ‘ s important that we take even just a little bit of time to do something for ourselves and recharge our batteries.

What would work for you? Perhaps it ‘ s a walk or a run, a mid-morning croissant snack, tea with a friend, a pedicure or even a massage. Whatever would work for you to make your day just a little more manageable.

#4 – Remember to eat and eat well.

When we are running around like crazy we tend to forget to eat. Or if we do eat we eat something that isn ‘ t good for us.

An important part of fighting overwhelm is to make sure that we eat well, food that will fuel our journey through the day.

What kind of food? Protein is the most important – eggs, nuts, chicken, cheese. Make sure to eat a good breakfast and lunch or, at the very least, keep some protein with you to snack on. A bag of almonds in the glove box can make a huge difference.

#5 – Take a cat nap.

I know you are laughing at the thought of fitting a nap into your crazy day but if you possibly can it will make a HUGE difference.

I am the queen of the 20 minutes nap in the car. I pull over in the shade or sun, depending on the season, put my seat back and snooze for 20 minutes. When I wake up my energy levels are definitely up and I can get through the rest of my day.

So try to make some time to snooze. It will be totally worth it!

This crazy modern life we lead makes being overwhelmed and tired a regular occurrence. And, since tropical vacations aren ‘ t usually available to help us recharge, it ‘ s important that we do what we can do to get through the day.

So make a list, set your priorities and take care of yourself. If you can take care of yourself then you will better be able to take care of others. And get yourself through the day intact and ready for another one tomorrow.

5 Signs Your Depression Is Getting Serious And It’s Time To Get Help

/2 Comments/by

For some time now you have been feeling really sad. Not yourself. And you aren’t enjoying your life. Do you feel like your depression is getting serious?

Your friends are telling you that it will pass. To snap out of it. But you are wondering if you can. You are wondering if maybe you are clinically depressed.

There are ways to tell…

#1 – Your depression is getting serious if you can’t get out of bed or off the couch.

How much time do you spend on the couch or in bed? You aren’t necessarily tired but the prospect of getting up is just too daunting to face. So you stay horizontal all day, watching Netflix and feeling like a loser.

This habit is a significant indicator of depression. People who have been diagnosed with depression tell of the great lengths they go to stay out of bed. Of stripping the sheets, taking the mattress off of the box spring and leaning it against the wall, locking the bedroom door. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and wallowing in their depression.

#2 -Your depression is getting serious if you have no interest in the things you love.

Have you lost interest in doing the things that you have always loved?

Does the idea of going to school or seeing friends or going out to dinner just seem like too much to bear?

People who are depressed isolate themselves. The energy that it takes to get out of bed and interact with others is overwhelming. So they don’t.

Ironically, going out and doing the things that you love is a great way to alleviate depression temporarily. Unfortunately the treatment can often seem too daunting to undertake and so people who are depressed just stay home.

#3 -Your depression is getting serious if you have overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and dread.

Do you spend much of your time running all sorts of negative thoughts through your head about how horrible your life is? What a loser you are and how no one will ever love you? Are you 100% confident that this will never change?

People who are depressed believe that all of the negative thoughts that run through their head. Unfortunately they also believe, falsely, that it will always be this way!

The truth is is that when one is depressed things can only seem hopeless because when one ‘ s mind is in such a bad place it ‘ s impossible to believe that the future will be any different.

The good news is that once the depression is addressed that feeling of hopelessness can disappear completely!

#4 – Your depression is getting serious if you are impatient with those you love.

Do you find yourself losing your patience with those you love? Do you scream at your kids if their homework doesn’t get done? Do you sneer at your husband if he asks you what is wrong? Can you not even talk to your mom anymore because her incessant questioning is just too much?

Impatience with those you love is a huge indicator of depression. The sense of the hopelessness that our condition will never change and that we are worthless makes it intolerable for us to interact with others, particularly those who love us and want the best for us.

Ironically, it is that love exactly that we need most in our life when we suffer from depression. Pushing that love away ultimately can make the depression worse.

#5 – Your depression is getting serious if your appetite has changed.

Have you found that recently your appetite has changed? Do you find yourself indulging more than usual in Ben and Jerry ‘ s and Oreos? Or do you find that you have no taste for food at all? Have you lost weight and find yourself listless because you aren’t eating?

Changes in eating patterns can indicate depression. When depression goes untreated we can self medicate with food, often to one extreme or another. Which is not healthy and can make it all worse.

Or course, eating well is an important part of dealing with depression. And failing to do so only makes the feelings of hopelessness and despair worse.

Depression gets worse the longer it goes untreated.

Unfortunately we hate to admit to being depressed because our loved ones, and society as a whole, tend to stigmatize those with depression.

So, ask yourself if you have any of the symptoms above. If you do, seek professional help immediately. Call your primary care provider and tell her exactly how you have been feeling, using this article as a reference if you like.

Treating depression is easy. Living with it is not.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with depression.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Article previously published on Your Tango.com.

5 Things To Stop Doing If You Are Battling Depression

/4 Comments/by


Are you feeling hopeless and full of despair? Do you question everything about the life you are living? Your career or your relationships? Is the prospect of taking even one step out the door just more than you can bear right now?

If you said yes to any or all of these questions you are most likely depressed. And being depressed sucks.

I know. I have lived with depression for 52 years.

Depression can be a chemical imbalance in your body but it can also be the result of something going on in your life. Either way, there are things to stop doing if you are battling depression.

#1 – Stop lying around!

The number one symptom of depression is the inability to get out of bed. The number on thing to stop doing if you are battling depression is to get out of bed.

The comfort of our cozy beds, and the escape of sleep, is hard to resist when we are struggling with depression. We are super-comfortable and in our beds we don ‘ t have to deal with anything. And our dreams are far better than our realities.

Even so, GET OUT OF BED.

The problem with staying in bed is that ruminating on how bad you are feeling is the worst way to deal with depression. And that is what you will do during your awake times. Also, the more time you spend in bed the less energy you will have to deal with life and your emotions when you have to.

So, do what you can to make your bed a less appealing place. Take your mattress off its box spring and lean it against the wall. Remove your sheets and comforter first thing in the morning. Keep your window shades open and your room bright. What ever it takes to get you out of bed and keep you out.

#2 – Stop beating yourself up.

Being depressed is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Whether you are chemically depressed or depressed because of a life situation, your depression is not your fault. Your depression is directly caused by something out of your control.

Blaming yourself for your depression, and beating yourself up about it, will only intensify the depth and length of your sadness.

So take a moment and consider the reason why you are feeling depressed. Is it because your boyfriend broke up with you or is it something that just happens to you sometimes?

Either way, it ‘ s not your fault. So let the blame go.

#3 – Stop drinking and doing drugs.

I know. Drinking and drugs will make your depression magically disappear. A night out with the girls, with some wine and dancing, will make you feel like 100 bucks.

And then, the next morning, you will feel more depressed than ever. Probably even worse.

Alcohol and drugs are depressants – they cause depression. So avoid them at all costs.

Try ice cream instead!

Looking for help dealing with your depression? Reach out and I can help!

#4 – Stop isolating yourself.

Yes, the tendency to stay home, in our beds, watching Netflix and ruminating about how horrible our lives are is very tempting when we are depressed. But DON ‘ T DO IT.

Getting out of the house and doing things is the key to managing your depression. Actually doing something, like taking a hike or going to the grocery store, will go a long way towards alleviating your depression, even if only for a bit.

Interacting with people while doing something is even better. Spending time with others, smiling, talking, sharing, is a very effective way to ease your depression. The act of smiling has actually been proven to ease sadness. Being with people will take your mind off of how sad you are which can be a huge relief.

So, after the next NetFlix episode, make a plan and get out there and do something. It doesn ‘ t have to be anything big but do something.

Don ‘ t let that depression get the best of you!

#5 – Stop being silent.

For many of us, being depressed is an embarrassing thing. Society has imposed such a stigma on depression that people are hesitant to share when they are feeling sad.

Share away. Talk to a friend, a relative, your doctor. Tell them how you are feeling. Don ‘ t expect them to fix you but do let them know that you are struggling with your feelings right now.

Sharing emotions is an excellent way to manage them. Sharing allows an energetic release from the body and it gives you an opportunity to have others help and support you.

So don ‘ t be embarrassed by how you are feeling. It is not your fault. Reach out to friends for love and support. You will be glad you did.

Depression is a horrible thing to have to manage. For me it feels like I am carrying around a 100lb gorilla on my back. Even taking one step seems like more than I can bear.

If you are looking for things to stop doing if you are battling depression, listen to me. I know that if I do take that step, if I get out of bed, take care of myself and interact with people, that 100lb gorilla will get lighter, that I will get some relief.

So do it. GET OUT OF BED NOW and get started!

Are you struggling with depression?
I know it’s really, really hard. Let me help!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

5 Ways to Be More Productive and CHANGE YOUR LIFE

/1 Comment/by


Lack of productivity can be very destructive. It can lead to overwhelm, which can be paralyzing, and it can be very demoralizing, which can lead to low self-esteem.

Neither of those things help you live the life of your dreams.

There are a myriad of reasons why my clients seek me out to be their life coach but most often a piece of it is that they need some help with productivity. I am happy to report that without exception those clients who were willing to take on their low productivity reported a dramatic change after just a few weeks of working with me.

Today I am going to share with you the work that I have done with my clients so you can learn about being more productive.

#1 – Identify what it is you want. Precisely.

Many of my clients come to me with an idea of what they want from their life. A new job, a better marriage, improved relations with co-workers, how to move forward in a different way. What many of those clients haven ‘ t done is identify what exactly it is they want. Without that knowledge moving forward is impossible.

I have a client who came to me because she was miserable in her job of 15 years but she just didn ‘ t know what to do. She had tried to make adjustments at work so that she could be happier but to no avail. She was stuck with what to do next. Paralyzed in fact.

I asked her where she would go if she left her job. She had no idea. She knew that she wanted out but she had given no thought to where she would like to jump. And, I asked, how would you get to that new place. Again, my question was met with silence.

The next part was quick and easy. We brainstormed new career paths, ideas that made her heart sing. We then cleaned up her resume to reflect that new job she sought. Next she researched job opportunities and applied for those jobs. Within a few weeks she had some interviews and soon after found the job of her dreams.

All this because she identified precisely where she wanted to go. Without concrete information you are stuck. She was. And then she wasn ‘ t.

#2 – Set goals.

Once you know what it is you want to do it ‘ s time to set goals.

I have a client who had created a website and she had been working on it ‘ s blog for almost a year. She had been tweaking and re-tweaking and then walking away, bored and frustrated, only to eventually come back and tweak it some more.

I asked her how determined she was to get this blog onto her site. Scale of 1-10. 10 she said. So we set a date. A date one month later. She put it on her calendar.

One month later, after years in process, after having set goals with me and making a plan, her blog was up.

Was she proud? Did her self-esteem go through the roof? Yes and yes. Awesome!

#3 – Make a plan.

Having a plan is an essential part of being productive. Without a plan you are stabbing about in the dark.

I have a client who HATED going to the grocery store. HATED it. So she didn ‘ t. As a result she didn ‘ t eat well and always felt weak.

I asked her why she hated the grocery store. She said the noise and the lights were annoying, things were hard to find, she never had time to find recipes of things to make, and she didn ‘ t want to spend the money. All valid reasons.

So we made a plan. First we skipped the recipes. I had her make a list of things that she knew how to cook and of things she liked to eat. She made a list using those things as a basis and I helped her organize her list into groups that related to areas in the grocery store. We made a plan of when she could go, at times when it was less crowded. She also decided to wear her headphones so the noise was less daunting.

Last, but not least, we set a specific date and time. And when she was done shopping she had to call me. And you know what? She did it. She has food. She feels better. And she did it again the next week.

#4 – Have a great calendar and use it wisely.

I had a client who had the most lofty goals but she didn ‘ t believe herself capable of following through on anything. As a result nothing ever got done.

Here is what we did. Every Sunday night we made a calendar for her for the week. On it, in red, were the things that she HAD to do. Doctor ‘ s appointments, driving to soccer, her half hour walk, 1 hour of writing. And then, in green, were the things that she wanted to get done. Balancing her checkbook, cleaning out closets, making some phone calls. She added things in black as things popped up during the week.

Those items in red were non-negotiable. If an emergency came up and she wasn ‘ t able do a red item then she had to immediately reschedule it for another day that week. It wasn ‘ t allowed to fall through the cracks.

The green items were treated the same but they could be moved to the next week if necessary.

The black were things that tended to get done because they were last minute and she was able to get them done because that ‘ s how she thrived, with a time limit.

She knew I would be checking up on her so she stuck to it as agreed.

It took a few weeks but using her calendar really allowed my client to be as productive as she had always hoped to be. And being so productive ramped up her self-esteem in a big way. She realized that she wanted to keep doing this, on her own, because she liked how she felt and she didn ‘ t want to let herself down. So she did. I was proud.

#5 – Find someone to hold you accountable.

This is a big part of my role as a life coach. We all need accountability. Someone to encourage us to get things done and to help us figure out why when we don ‘ t.

I know you have your friends and your family and your co-workers to support you but more often than not those people will lean towards supporting you, to listening to your rationalizations and letting you off the hook.

Not me.

I know the importance of staying on track, both for productivity ‘ s sake and for building self-esteem. Productivity is important for its own sake – things need to get done. Period.

Another reason productivity is so important is because of it ‘ s effect on your self-esteem. My clients are always so hard on themselves because they can never get things done, they are so far behind, they let other people down. Not doing these things can boost one ‘ s self-esteem significantly. And having higher self-esteem makes one more prone to being productive. See how that works?

It ‘ s a win-win in so many ways.

Our lives are crazy, jam packed and exhausting. Not being productive can cause overwhelm, and overwhelm can lead you down a path that makes it all worse.

It doesn ‘ t have to be this way. There are ways to be productive and make one ‘ s life a little less exhausting. As you can see above, my clients prove that it can be done.

You can do it too!

Need more tips on being more productive? Contact me and I can help.

5 Reasons to Do The Thing That Scares You Most

/by


Are you looking for reasons to do the thing that scares you most?

Last week, I willingly put myself at the top of Mt. Katahdin, one of the highest mountains in the eastern US, with an elevation of 5267 feet. As I stood there on top of this pile of rocks and looked across at the mile-long traverse called the Knife ‘ s Edge that I was about to cross, I thought to myself, ‘ There is no way I can do this. ‘

But I had to. There was no turning back. I had just slogged 4 miles up over 5-foot boulders, and there was no way I was going back down those things.

So I took it one step at a time and managed to make it across in one piece.

How did I feel on the other side? Incredible!

Doing things that scare us can be daunting, and because we usually have a choice to turn back, we often do. But after doing something that scared me, something I had no choice but to do, I realized that doing it changed my life in many ways.

And that is what I want to share with you today. How to change your life.

Here Are 5 Reasons to Do The Thing That Scares:

#1 – Do it to have some fun.

You know how you feel at the top of a roller coaster? You are strapped in, and you have been slowly rising to the crest of the rails, and there you sit for a moment. Anticipating. And scared as *%&$. And then you are off.

You soar down, over and around the rails, screaming and scared and oh so very exhilarated. Your adrenaline is pumping, and your face is smiling. You feel very much alive.

And having fun!

I have a client who had always ridden behind her husband on their jet ski at the river. The prospect of driving it scared her, and she was perfectly willing to be a passenger. After her divorce, she decided to try things that had always scared her and that included driving the jet ski on her own. So she did.

And? You guessed it. She loved it. Her kids have to fight her for it every time they visit.

#2 – Do it to challenge your assumptions.

I never assumed that I couldn ‘ t climb that mountain, which is why I put myself up there, but my client did assume that she couldn ‘ t drive a jet ski. After she proved to herself that she could in fact drive it she started to question what other assumptions she had made about her life that were false.

My client had always questioned her ability to run her own business so she had never tried and had always worked for other people. At this point in her life, she just didn ‘ t want to do that anymore and wanted to go out on her own.

Because she started challenging her own assumptions, she challenged the ones that she couldn ‘ t work for herself. Together we created and implemented a step-by-step plan to get her out of her office and into the world. Within a year she was running a health and wellness business out of her home, and she was living the life of her dreams.

#3 – Do it to prove to yourself that you can do anything.

One of the things that happen to us over time, as we age and experience disappointment and regret, is that we lose the belief in ourselves that we can actually do things, big things or small because we have failed before, we believe that we will always fail.

Doing something that scares you will prove this to not be true.

I have a client who wanted to move out of her dark, cramped apartment but she truly believed that she would NEVER be able to do so. She hired me to help her in this endeavour and, while she worked diligently to achieve that goal, we still had the conversation a few times a week about how she couldn ‘ t pull it off that it would actually kill her.

Guess what? It didn ‘ t actually kill her. She now has a new apartment which she purchased on her own, that she loves. Accomplishing her goal allowed her to start believing in herself again.

Last weekend she was invited to spend the weekend with old high school friends who hadn ‘ t seen each other in 20 years. As they each told the stories of their life, my client froze up, as she always does in such situations, because she was ashamed of the story of her life.

And then, because she believed in herself for once, she unfroze and told these women her story. And it was wonderful. They listened and accepted her and loved her even more for doing so.

Wow!

#4 – Do it to conquer fear.

I have a client who read Jaws under her bed-covers with a flashlight at the age of 8. And then at 16, she saw the movie. Because of this, my client lived with a debilitating fear of the water. She couldn ‘ t go in the sea, a lake, a pond or sometimes even a pool out of fear of what might be in there that would nibble at her toes.

Living with this fear had a big effect on her life. She and her family had travelled the world, and she had missed out on many adventures because she had avoided the water. Her family had swum with dolphins in Mexico, kayaked with whales in Washington, snorkelled with sharks in Thailand, and she had missed out on all of it.

One Christmas, while visiting the Caribbean, my client watched as her family ventured out on yet another snorkelling adventure without her. She would sit in the boat and take pictures. Again.

‘ Wait, ‘ she thought. ‘ Not this time. ‘ And without thinking too hard about it, she donned the snorkel gear and accompanied her children into the water. They stuck by her side for a few minutes, but then she shooed them off because she was entranced by what she was seeing under the sea. Fishes! Beautiful fishes! And they weren ‘ t biting her toes or menacing her in any way. How about that?

My client returned back home a changed woman. She had conquered THE biggest fear of her life. She set out to conquer others, and she did and still does.

My client is always telling me that knowing she can conquer her fear has given her a freedom she never thought she would have in her life. How great is that?

#5 – Do it to change your life.

Okay, so you have had some fun, challenge your assumptions, reminded yourself that you can do anything and conquered your fears. What ‘ s next? Do you think you are just going back to your old way of life? One built on fear, indecision and insecurity.

Of course, you aren ‘ t. You are going to take your newfound skills and self-awareness and go out and change your stars.

Because my client decided to take the step to move out of her apartment, her life has changed in so many ways. She had lived in fear, so she never put herself out there to have fun. Now she plays in an orchestra, goes to church and has started to date. Because she assumed that she was unlovable, she cut herself off from friends and family. Now she knows that she is very lovable, and she is letting them all back in again. Because she proved to herself that she could actually do it when she set her mind to moving she has set her mind to the fact that she wants to be an accountant and will pursue that goal at all costs.

Did I mention that my client is 68 years old? She decided that she wasn ‘ t going to live in her dark apartment anymore, set her mind to a change and ultimately changed her life.

If she can do it, you can too!

Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘ You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face ‘ ¦Do the thing that you think you cannot do. ‘

Do it today. Think of one thing that you think you can not do and get determined to do it. Figure out what you need to do to do it. Set a goal for when you will get it done. Tell someone you are going to do it. And then do it. Don ‘ t TRY to do it. Do it.

It will change your life.

You can do it! I know you can.

Looking for other reasons to do the thing that scares you most? Contact me, and I can help.

 

5 Ways to Cultivate An Iron Clad Self-Esteem

/1 Comment/by


Dictionary.com defines self esteem as ‘ a realistic respect for or a favorable impression of oneself. ‘ Sounds easy enough, right? Unfortunately, not so much.

Many of us live with a self-esteem that does not serve us. We don ‘ t believe that we are all that. That we are beautiful or kind or smart or thoughtful or successful or worthy. Instead, many of us believe that we will never amount to much in this world and we question whether we will ever succeed at anything, be it at love, at work or at getting healthy.

Tragically, our self-esteem gets destroyed by a lifetime of experiences, negative experiences that gradually eat away at the healthy self-esteem we are born with.

Fortunately, there are ways to rebuild your self-esteem. Rebuild it stronger than ever so that you are not afraid to take on the world and make your world what you want it to be.

#1 – Get out of that relationship that doesn ‘ t serve you.

Are you in a relationship with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself in any way? Does your partner make you feel less than for not making your bed or for how you dress? Do they go out and do things with their friends and leave you alone, lonely? Do they refuse to talk about your feelings when you need them most?

If you are with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself GET OUT.

I have a client who is at a turning point in her life and she needs some time by herself to figure things out. She still loves her man and she has tried to explain to him what she has been thinking. Not only does he not get it and not support her but he also told her that she is ‘ out of her mind. ‘

And how did she react? She believed him. Because her self-esteem told her that he was right and that the way he was treating her was what she deserved.

I begged to disagree and worked with her as she distanced herself from the relationship. She set out doing her work, building her self-esteem, and eventually she was able to see clearly what she really deserved in a relationship – someone who respected and cherished her.

Not the man who told her she was ‘ out of her mind. ‘

So ditch any partner who doesn ‘ t make you feel 100%. There are plenty of people out there who can and will help you feel great!

#2 – Accomplish something BIG.

There is no better way to build a steely self-esteem than setting a goal and reaching it.

Now is the time to think of something that you have always wanted to accomplish and make it happen.

My client who was trying to find her place in the world had always longed to have a health and wellness program at her farm. She had grand ideas but had a hard time getting started on making the program happen. Working together with me, we created a step-by-step plan for her to have a Wellness Weekend at her farm. She reached out to a friend whose expertise complemented hers and together they worked to create a weekend retreat for 10 women, one where they learned about health and wellness and self care.

How did my client feel after accomplishing her goal? Like a million bucks. Not only did she inspire 10 women to live healthier lives but by taking the actions necessary to make her dreams come to fruition she knew that she could take on the world and conquer it.

Kind of like a superhero, right? Unvanquishable!

#3 – Get your swagger on.

I have a friend who always says that he loves it when I get my ‘ swagger on. ‘ I, like everyone else, have periods of time when I don ‘ t feel so good about myself and I have learned that the best way to get through those times quickly is to make doing what makes me feel good a priority.

I always try to eat well, get enough sleep, walk and do yoga every day. By doing so my body feels strong and healthy and my mind relatively clear. For me, the next step to making myself feel good is to encase that strong body in a tight pair of jeans, put on some cowboys boots and take myself out onto the streets of New York City. Getting my swagger on.

What gets your swagger on? Is it having your hair done every month? Power walking in the afternoon while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack? Reading every book on the NYT bestseller list?

Whatever it takes to make you feel like you can step out of your front door and walk down the street with a bit of swagger.

Your self-esteem is built on swagger.

#4 – Give of yourself to others.

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, can help build an iron clad self-esteem more than doing something for someone else. Truly, nothing.

When I was going through my divorce my self-esteem was at it’s lowest. On the advice of a friend I started volunteering weekly at the local food bank. Four hours a week of helping other people get food to eat, for themselves and their families, made me feel so good. And not because I felt lucky because I wasn ‘ t in their position but because I knew that I had made a substantial, positive difference in their lives. It made my heart sing.

Many of us don ‘ t have time to volunteer but we can make a difference in other ways. Hold the door open for someone, buy that homeless person sitting outside the grocery store a sandwich, reach out to a friend you know is going through a hard time, give up your seat on the subway.

There is nothing like being on the receiving end of a smile of gratitude to wake up your self-esteem. And once it ‘ s awake it will be hungry for more.

So try it. Reach out and make a difference in someone ‘ s life today

#5 – Spend time with those who love you.

You know those people who have known you forever and who love you completely and totally, no matter how many times you have screwed up and disappointed them. Yes, those people. Those people are the people who you want to spend time with.

My client who was trying to find herself and whose boyfriend wasn ‘ t being supportive was really struggling to find the strength to do what she needed to do. She was prepared to settle back into the life she had. It wasn ‘ t perfect but it was good enough. Right?

Lucky for her, one of her oldest friends was in town and a dinner was arranged for the two of them and a third member of their mommy posse. It was exactly what she needed.

Her friends did not hesitate to remind her of how awesome she was. They pointed to specific examples of where she had succeeded in the past, how loved and supported she was by others, how important she was to the world. By loving and supporting her so completely they gave steel to her self-esteem, allowing it to remind her that there was nothing that she couldn ‘ t do because she had done it before.

Your posse is your self-esteem ‘ s best friend!

When we are born we are gifted with the belief that we can do anything. Without it we might never learn to walk or talk or read or sing or love. Unfortunately, life experience can gradually rip our self-esteem to shreds.

Luckily, YOU can rebuild it. Rebuild it so that it ‘ s bigger and stronger than it ever was before. Spend time only with those who love you, take care of yourself and others and make something BIG happen. Your self-esteem will be iron clad in no time.

You can do it! We both know you can!

Need more help rebuilding your self-esteem? Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let me help.

3 Reasons Why He Won’t Change – Even If He Wants To

/1 Comment/by


I have a client who is in a new relationship. She loves her man but has some very real hesitations. The most notable one is that she feels like he doesn ‘ t make her a priority. She feels taken for granted and certainly not cherished. She has told him that she feels this way, hoping for change. And, in spite of his assertions that he loves her, it just doesn ‘ t happen.

Why, you wonder, can ‘ t her boyfriend, who loves her, change his behavior? Because of a very frustrating, but very real, thing known as resistance.

Resistance is a trait found in all of us ‘ ¦a trait that makes us hesitant to do anything that might bring about change. Even if it ‘ s for the better.

Resistance makes us want to put the brakes on and never release them.

Resistance is something we often aren ‘ t even aware of but it affects almost every decision we make.

Resistance can end great things before they even start.

So why won’t he make the change you want him to?

#1 – Fear of Change.

Resistance is based on the fear of change. And people are really, really afraid of change.

When faced with the idea of change most people ‘ s reactions are ‘ Things are just fine this way. Why would I want to do anything differently? ‘

Resistance to change in love can have a devastating effect. There are two people in a relationship and two peoples whose needs need to be met. When one person asks for something different the other person needs to consider if they are willing to adapt to keep the relationship moving forward.

And that is the key. Adaptation. If one person needs something different then a conversation needs to be had.

My client expressed her needs very clearly. She knew that he heard what she said and he even said that he would try to put her first. But he didn ‘ t. Or couldn ‘ t. And it hurt her.

The best way to overcome fear of change is communication. Talk to each other. Compromise. Make each other a priority.

#2 – Fear of Ability.

The second piece of resistance is one ‘ s fear of the ability to do what someone asks. Does the person being asked fear that they will not be able to do what is being asked of them?

That can be paralyzing.

Perhaps my client ‘ s beau didn ‘ t know if he was capable of making her a priority. Perhaps he knew that his bike and the kids would always come first. But he knew if he expressed that he might lose her. So instead of explaining that fear he kept quiet.

The result? She was devastated by his continued actions and I am sure he didn ‘ t feel very good about it either.

The best way to overcome fear of ability is communication. If he had been able to express his anxiety perhaps they could have worked together to find a solution.

#3 – Fear of Outcome.

The last piece of resistance is the fear of outcome.

So many of the reasons that people don ‘ t take action is that they are scared of how it will all turn out. They know, to a certain extent, how things will turn out if they stay on the current path but have no idea what will happen if they change course.

For my client ‘ s boyfriend he knew that the way he had acted so far had resulted in his winning this amazing girl and still being able to excel on his bike and support his kids in a loving and productive way.

What would happen if he started putting her first? Would his bike and his kids suffer? He didn ‘ t want them to suffer but he also didn ‘ t want to lose her. Maybe they wouldn ‘ t suffer but was it worth the risk?

He was afraid. So he chose his bike and his children, hoping that she would understand. He didn ‘ t talk to her about his decision and as a result he hurt her more.

The best way to overcome the fear of outcome is communication. She needed to know how he was feeling. They could have talked it through. She might have understood.

It is important to know that while fear of change can play a destructive role in relationships it is not, most likely, a reflection of the emotions that the resistor feels for his loved one.

He most likely loves her madly but is unwilling, or unable, to face and overcome his resistance. So it is up to her. Is she willing to live not being a priority? How important is it to her? Can she be in this relationship knowing he loves her and have that be enough?

For my client that wasn ‘ t enough. She expressed her needs and he continued to resist and she walked away. She knew she wanted to be cherished and set out finding someone who could do so.

Are you struggling with a man who won’t change?
I know it can be really, really hard. Let me help before it destroys your relationship!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible

/1 Comment/by


So you have a dream. Something that you really want. Perhaps something that you have always wanted or maybe something you have just recently come to understand you want. You have a dream.

There are ways to get exactly what you want – even if it seems impossible.

Time to make it happen. You can do it!

#1 – Know what EXACTLY it is you want.

In order to get what you want to have to know exactly what it is you want.

I have a client who hired me because she wanted to move and she needed support to do so. ‘ What, ‘ I asked her, ‘ does that mean, specifically? ‘

She wasn’t sure. She was renting, and she hated her apartment. So I asked some questions.

Did she want to move to another apartment or a house? Did she want to continue to rent or to buy? Did she like her neighborhood or did she want to make a big move?

After some discussion, she decided that she wanted to stay in her neighborhood and buy either a town home or an apartment.

She knew what she wanted. Next, we started working on getting it for her.

#2 – Start taking steps NOW!

One of the biggest obstacles to getting what we want is that we get overwhelmed. The distance that we have to travel, and the obstacles that we have to overcome, can often times seem too overwhelming and so we stop before we even start.

For my client who wanted to move, she was so overwhelmed at the prospect of BUYING A HOUSE. So, instead of focusing on BUYING A HOUSE, I suggested that her first step was to go online and find some listings that she liked. Just to do that. When she was ready she would go look at some of them. The actual BUYING A HOUSE would be further down the road when the time came.

She was not overwhelmed by the prospect of looking at some listings. So she did, and she was off.

#3 – Recognize your fears.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles for getting what we want. Fear that we won ‘ t get what we want. Fear that we will get hurt along the way. Fear that we will get what we want and then what will we do?

Identifying fears is the only way to deal with them.

For my client, her fears were many.

She was scared of the process of looking at houses. So we started slowly with identifying listings and then moved on to actually looking.

She was scared that she wouldn ‘ t find something she liked that she could afford. So she looked at many different places in her price range so see what her options were.

She was scared of the mortgage process. So I had her meet with a mortgage broker who could walk her through the process.

Fears are going to happen, but if you identify them one at a time, you can deal with them.

#4 – NO second guessing.

For many of us we know what we want but other people have opinions and as a result, we often lose sight of what that really is. Perhaps your dream gets modified because of something your mom suggests. Or perhaps you don ‘ t believe you can do it because your sister reminds you that you have never succeeded before.

Don ‘ t let this happen. Know what you want. Write it down. Write down the path to getting it. Write down the obstacles that will present themselves. Write down your fears.

When someone tries to question you, refer to your lists, remind yourself what it is that you want, that you know how to get there and that you are going to. No matter what!

You can do it!

#5 – Never never never give up.

Yes, obstacles are going to arise, fears are going to rear their ugly head, and you are going to get supremely overwhelmed. And this is where many people give up. I mean, if the House can ‘ t get the votes to repeal and replace Obamacare the first time out then it should be the law of the land forever. Right? NO!

When obstacles and fears present themselves, take them one at a time and deal with them. My client looked at house after house after house and was increasingly desolate that she would never find one. I told her to keep it up. And she did!

Until you guessed it, she found an apartment. The apartment of her dreams.

She never gave up and she got exactly what she wanted.

You have a dream. I know you do. And you can get it exactly as you want it. You just need to know what it is, see how to get there, slay obstacles one by one and never give up.

Really, how hard is that? YOU can totally do it. My client did.

And yes, she is living happily ever after ‘ ¦..

 

If you have read this far you must really wantsomething.
Let me help you, NOW, so you don’t have to wait!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

 

 

5 Things Women MUST Do to Reach Their Dreams

/1 Comment/by


Remember when you were little, and you had big dreams for when you were finally a grown-up?

I wanted to be an astronaut. Or a ballerina. Unfortunately, my hopes of being either of those things fell by the wayside when I failed earth science and grew a foot.

After college, I thought maybe I wanted to write and help people, but my goals were vague, so instead, I went into the hospitality business and then into retail sales and then became a mom. Before I knew it, I was 40 and a working mom, and my dreams had disappeared under a load of laundry.

Now, 12 years later, I am living the life of my dreams. I write articles and blogs and coach women toward reaching their dreams. I have learned a lot along the way, and I want to share it with you today.

#1 – Be clear about what is important to you.

I can ‘ t say this enough. If you don ‘ t know what is important to you, then you can ‘ t make it a priority. Instead, your life will consist of day after day just doing the things that you need to do to get by.

Do this. Mark out 1 hour on your calendar this week, one hour to sit down with a cup of tea, and write down everything that you can think of that is important to you. Write down the things that you do and things that you don ‘ t. Set your list aside and go take a walk.

A few days later, revisit your list. Did you forget anything? Is there anything on there that maybe shouldn ‘ t be?

Next, circle the top 10 most important things on your list. From that list, circle the top 7 most important things, and then from that list circle the top 5 most important things. From your top 5 list, circle the top 3 most important things.

You now have the top 3 things that are most important to you. See, that wasn ‘ t so hard.

From there, you choose the #1 thing that is most important to you, and now you have a starting point.

#2 – Create a plan to make that #1 thing happen and make it a priority.

This is an important thing to do. Many of us get overwhelmed at the prospect of actually reaching our goal. If it’s to run 10 miles, three miles per week, and we are running nothing now, then making the jump from 0-10 miles seems undoable. So we don’t, and we give up.

Instead, we need to recognize that to reach our goal we have to take it one step at a time. And one step at a time is easy.

The first step is about getting moving. Schedule three days a week to get outside and walk. Just for 15 minutes. Something to get your body used to the movement.

Put it on your calendar. In RED ink so that you can’t ignore it.

After the first week, increase your time to 20 minutes three times per week.

After the second week, you could walk for 10 minutes and run for 10 minutes three times per week.

After the third week, you can run for the full 20 minutes three times a week.

Gradually you can increase your time and distance until you reach your goal of 10 miles three times a week.

One step at a time.

#3 – Surround yourself with a supportive and loving community.

Your community can be made up of family, friends, co-workers, and gym mates who can support you and hold you accountable. This is key to success. We all have good intentions, but without support and accountability, it ‘ s hard to stay on the path to reaching our dreams.

What is the best kind of support you can get? A life coach who will encourage you and hold you accountable. Just sayin’.

#4 – Do NOT doubt yourself.

This is the most self-sabotaging thing that we do. We listen to the voice in our head that tells us that we can ‘ t do something. That we don ‘ t have the time or that we aren ‘ t good enough, or that we don ‘ t deserve something.

This is, may I say, complete bullshit. You are an amazing person, someone who gives and gives and you should have the life of your dreams. And if you are happy, everyone around you will be happy!

Believe that you are capable of reaching your goals. One step at a time. I believe in you.

#5 – Take care of yourself and try to have a little fun.

Yes, our lives are crazy, but it is essential that every woman take a little time for herself. Take a bath, go for a walk, go shopping with a friend, climb a mountain, learn to surf, or take a road trip. Do something every day that feeds your soul. Take at least 1 day a month to do something that will make you happy.

And at least once a year get away, alone, to get to know yourself again.

Remember, it ‘ s never too late to live the life that you want. You just need to decide what that life is and then take that first step. The rest you can do, easy.

Just look at all that you do now. Only Superwoman can do what you do every day. Your dreams will be a cinch ‘ ¦

 

If you have read this far you must reallywantto reach your dreams.
Let me help you, NOW, before they get away!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

 

 

Connect with Mitzi

© Copyright 2024 – Let Your Dreams Begin