Tag Archive for: 5 love languages

5 Tips For Having Both Career Success And Happiness

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When we were young girls we were told that we could have it all – a husband, kids, career success and happiness. And we really believed that to be true.

And, while it can be hard work, it is possible to have it all.

Career success and happiness can go hand in hand. Here is how ‘ ¦

#1 – Don ‘ t settle for a career you don ‘ t love.

Unless your career is something that is just a means to an end and isn ‘ t an important part of your self-worth there is NO WAY that you will find happiness in your life if you aren ‘ t happy in your career.

If your career is important to your self worth then it ‘ s essential that you don ‘ t settle for a career that you don ‘ t love.

Many of us start out in a job, any job, just so we can start to earn money. And many of us get trapped in that job, whether we like it or not, because the money is good or the prospect of going out and getting a new job is too daunting.

If you find yourself in that spot, in a career that you don ‘ t love and that is causing your unhappiness, move heaven and earth to get out of that job and find one that you love.

Today, right now, think about what kind of career you would like to have if you were in charge of the world. Just think about it. And when you know GO FOR IT. (Let me know if I can help!)

#2 – Don ‘ t neglect yourself.

Are you one of those people who works so hard at your career that you have stopped taking care of yourself?

Do you tell yourself that the lack of sleep or the weight gain or the hair loss (from stress) is a small price to pay for career success?

If this is you, I am guessing that your happiness level is pretty low, even if your career is going strong. Because you simply can ‘ t be happy in your life if you aren ‘ t taking care of yourself. You might think you are happy. But are you really?

So take the time to take care of yourself and work hard. Get some sleep, eat well, indulge yourself when you can. Taking care of you will ensure you a lot of happiness. I promise.

#3 – Don ‘ t stop learning, both in your life and your career.

Many of us, as we settle into the grown up life of parent, spouse and career person, stop learning. We figured that we paid our dues in high school and college and that is that. No more learning required.

I would argue that learning is essential for growth and happiness and they say it keeps your brain young.

I am not saying that you need to go back to school full time but do make an effort to learn something new every day.

Are you given a project at work that you know nothing about? Dive in! Are you wondering just what is all this hype about apple cider vinegar? Get online and find out. Wondering what you can do to learn some marketing tools so that you can get that promotion? Take a seminar. Hoping for some guidance on love and relationships? Check out the 5 Love Languages.

My point is is that every day there is an opportunity to learn something new. Grab that opportunity. Use your brain. It will get you far.

#4 – Don ‘ t lose touch with friends and family.

Are you the one who is always missing the family event because of work? Are you the one whose friends don ‘ t invite you out for happy hour because they know that you will say no?

If you are this person I am going to plead with you to STOP.

Very old people say that at the end of their life they don ‘ t wish that they had stayed for that one important meeting or that they could have climbed just a little higher on that corporate ladder. At the end of their lives, old people regret the times that they missed with loved ones, precious lost time that they can never get back.

So if you want career success and happiness work hard but not too hard. Your loved ones need you, and you need them for when the going gets rough.

#5 – Don ‘ t prioritize your career over love.

This is one that I wish I would say over and over and over. I will say it one more time.

Don ‘ t prioritize your career over love.

One career is incredibly important both for personal and financial reasons. But if you put it before your love then you will be setting yourself up for neither career success or happiness.

I have a client whose husband worked all the time, who was never home for dinner and who always missed dates with her. She tried to get him to let go of work a bit and be with her but his career was too important to him.

So she left him. And what happened next? He was alone, living in a small apartment. He had his kids every other week and that was stressful because he had to manage them and work. He didn ‘ t have someone to come home to and support him. Everything suffered.

In the end, my client ‘ s ex lost a promotion because of the chaos that was his life after his divorce.

On top of that, my client ‘ s ex was lonely and sad and left wondering what he had done with this life.

So look up right now at the one you love and decide to make them a priority going forward.

Career success and happiness can definitely go hand in hand.

The key is making sure that you are doing work that you love, that you take care of yourself and that your priorities are on straight.

I love coaching more than any other career that I have had and it has brought me much personal happiness. But I know that I wouldn ‘ t have that happiness without my health, the man sitting beside me and the kids on their way over for dinner.

So go for it. You can have it all too!

How Healthy Is My Relationship? Take this quiz and find out.

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How healthy is my relationship? It ‘ s an important question and a good one to ask yourself regularly.

Long-term relationships start strong but without regular tending they can weaken over time. Much like managing your apps on your phone or keeping your status fresh on Facebook, it is important to always be checking your relationship for updates.

Healthy relationships are important to a healthy life so yourself regularly How healthy is my relationship?

So, what questions do you need to ask? Let me suggest the following:

#1 – Can you talk about anything?

Being able to talk about anything is the key to a healthy relationship.

Can you tell your partner when you don ‘ t like something that he does? Or that seeing his mother EVERY Sunday is more than you would like? Or that you really don ‘ t like extra sausage on your pizza? Or that that thing he likes to do in bed is just a little bit much for you?

Being able to be honest with your partner about everything in your life and relationship is a key to keeping it healthy.

#2 – Do you enjoy the sex?

Having a healthy sex life is an important part of every healthy relationship.

If your sex life is something that you just put up with, don ‘ t really enjoy, or even dread, then it ‘ s time to act.

Talk to your partner about how you feel and figure out together how to make things work for both of you.

#3 – Do you like each other ‘ s friends and family?

Liking each other ‘ s friends and family is another really important part of a healthy relationship.

Like it or not, when someone becomes part of a couple their partner ‘ s previous relationships come along too. And if you don ‘ t get along with his friends and family it can cause a huge rift. He will want to spend time with all of you and if he is forced to choose he will resent it.

So check in to see if you are both on board with liking each other ‘ s friends. It ‘ s important that you do.

#4 – Do you respect each other?

Of course it ‘ s important to like and love the person with whom you are in a relationship. What is even more important is that you respect them.

If you are in a relationship with someone who you can ‘ t respect, for whatever reason, who you regularly are critical of and treat with contempt then you are not in a healthy relationship.

Respecting the person you are with, respecting the choices that they make, the values they uphold, the way they are in the world, is an essential part of being happy together.

#5 – Do you laugh and have fun together?

Laughter is the number one aphrodisiac that I know of. People who can laugh together, often, will stay more attached, emotionally and physically, then those who don ‘ t.

Do you and your partner laugh together and have fun together. Do you laugh often, even in times of stress? Do you like to do the same things? The things that make you happy? Do you have inside jokes that only you share?

Make sure that you and your partner enjoy life together. You will be glad you did!

#6 – Do you want to spend time together?

This is a big one. Do you and your partner actually make an effort to spend time together? Or do you make excuses to not have to do so?

A client of mine would come up with every excuse in the world to not spend time with her husband and volunteering at the kid ‘ s school was a great way to do that.

Guess what! He found someone else, someone who wanted to spend time with him.

#7 – Do you feel good about yourself?

Feeling good about yourself is key to a healthy relationship.

If you don ‘ t feel good about who you are in the world, if you don ‘ t feel like you need someone to ‘ ˜complete you, ‘ if you know that you will be just fine alone, then you are in a place to have a healthy relationship.

People who are needy or clingy or fraught with insecurities do not make good partners. So take care of yourself and be all that you can be so that you can be a contributing half of a healthy relationship.

#8- Do you have plans for the future together?

People in healthy relationships share their plans for the future.

They think about tomorrow, next week, next month and even next year.

They do so because they are invested in being together and part of being together is making plans for the future.

If either one of you isn ‘ t interested in talking about the future then you are not in a relationship that has one.

# 9 – Do you know each other ‘ s love language?

Gary Chapman ‘ s book The 5 Love Languages speaks to the belief that everyone has a way that they express and receive love and that everyone ‘ s language is different. And, often, people express love in the ways that THEY want to be loved as opposed to in ways their partners want to be loved.

We might feel loved when we get a piece of jewelry but our partner might feel loved when we do a chore for them. So if we give them a piece of jewelry they won ‘ t feel loved, even if we might, but if we take out the trash then all is good.

Does that make sense? Check out The 5 Love Languages here for more information. Everyone just wants to be loved.

So how did you do on my questionnaire?

Can you answer the question How healthy is my relationship? in an affirmative way?

If yes, YAY!

If no, make an effort to tweak the things that seem a bit off and see if you can bring your relationship around to a healthier place.

Make an effort to communicate. Make sure your sex life is good. Enjoy life and each other ‘ s friends and families. Respect each other and plan together. And read more about the 5 Love Languages. They always help!

So get to work NOW! Make your relationship a healthy one ‘ ¦

8 Ways To Show Someone You Love Them Truly

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How important is it to show someone you love them? Very!

Are you in love? Isn ‘ t it wonderful? Every day you share with your person is a new and wonderful day. You hope that you feel like this forever.

Unfortunately, you won ‘ t. That early, heady love is amazing, but it ‘ s not sustainable. Doctors say that if people felt forever the way they do in the first six months of a relationship, it would actually kill them. Too many endorphins can damage the heart. Ironic no?

Fortunately, the next phase of love, the settling in for the long game, can be a wonderful thing too if you do it right.

So, How Do You Show Someone You Love Them Truly?

# 1- Love them as they want to be loved.

I truly believe that one of the best tools in a successful relationship is Gary Chapman ‘ s 5 Love Languages. Go to Amazon right now and download it onto your Kindle.

The premise behind his book is that there are five love languages, five ways that people express and receive love.

The languages are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Giving of Gifts.

For each person one of those things is the thing that makes them feel the most loved when they are done unto them. When a partner tries to love them using a different love language, they don ‘ t feel loved.

My love language is Quality Time – I feel loved when someone is truly present with me, listening to me, and focusing on me. My ex-husbands ‘ love language was Physical Touch – he felt love when I was holding his hand, hugging him or, yep, that too.

Unfortunately, the language that we spoke best with each other was Acts of Service – we did things for each other, like changing the oil in the car or going to the grocery store. Stuff got done but neither of us felt loved.

Check out the 5 Love Languages at www.5lovelanguages.com. There you will find a short quiz that you and your partner can both take, and you can start loving each other in a way that will work.

#2 – Talk to them.

For women, an important part of being loved is feeling connected. Men often don’t understand what that means to be connected to a woman.

I have a client who wants his girlfriend to know that he loves her. He thinks that the best way to do that is by making sure they have good memories. So, he arranges trips and dinners and other expensive things, hoping to create wonderful memories.

His girlfriend has expressed her dismay that he is spending so much money on her, and he brushed it off, telling her that she was worth it. She wasn’t happy.

I suggested that he tell her that he recognizes and respects her concerns and that he has arranged some free things that they can do together to build memories. She was happy.

For women, being seen, heard, understood and acknowledged is an important part of feeling loved.

#3 – Let them take care of you.

Everyone enjoys taking care of someone, but many of us are really bad at letting people take care of us. One of the best things that you can do to show someone you love them is to let them take care of you.

Think about how good it feels when you do something nice for someone and how it connects you to that person and makes you feel good about yourself.

So imagine how good it would feel for your partner to do something for you. So let him! Even if you can do it for yourself, let him do it. Let him feel good about helping you. It is an excellent way to show someone you love them – to let them show you the same.

#4 – Share their passions.

I have a client whose boyfriend LOVES working on cars. LOVES it. He worked on cars with his father, and he does so now with his son, and he would rather work on cars than just about anything.

This love was driving my client crazy because he wanted to spend time with her but also wanted to work on his car. So i suggested a compromise.

I suggested that she try to get interested in some aspects of his car work and learn from him so that she could spend time with him. In exchange, he would be willing to spend some time with her, doing things other than car work.

By supporting your partner’s passions, you are letting them know that you respect and love who they are as a person. And sulking in a corner because you don’t like what he is doing isn’t going to buy you any love at all.

#5 – Support their goals.

I know it has happened to all of us that our partner comes up with some pie-in-the-sky idea that is the new driving force in their lives. It ‘ s exciting and new, and all they want to talk about.

And I am sure it has happened to all of us that we think our partner ‘ s new idea is crazy.

I remember in college, my soccer-playing, skiing, manly-man of a boyfriend turned to me after a dance performance and announced that he wanted to be a dancer. I actually laughed in his face. This was 30 years ago, and I still remember the hurt look in his eyes. He never became a dancer.

To this day, I wish I had supported him. That ‘ s what people who love each other do for each other. He might never have become a dancer, but having the person who loved him believe in him would have been such a gift. Even better would not have been on the receiving end of my derision.

So support them. No matter what.

#6 – Don ‘ t be critical.

You know how you feel when you go to visit your in-laws and your mother-in-law makes some passive-aggressive, disparaging comment about something you did. Do you know how shitty that makes you feel? And you don ‘ t even really like your mother-in-law.

So imagine what your partner, who loves you, must feel like when you are critical of them.

I have a client whose wife gives him the one over every time they are headed out the door. She tells him if his hair is out of place or if his shirt is right or if he is carrying the right bag for the task ahead. And while she is quick to say Your pants have a hole in them, she never says You are perfect today, honey. Thank you.

My client at first tried to anticipate what his wife might want, but as time went on, he only felt resentment towards her criticism. He actually started not only making choices that he knew would antagonize her, but he ignored whatever she mentioned at the door.

So be careful not to be critical. If you have something to say, say it with love. And if it doesn ‘ t need to be said, don ‘ t say it. Life will go on if his hair isn ‘ t just right.

#7 – Forgive them for things big and small.

There is nothing more insidious in a relationship than not forgiving someone for a wrong. And for some reason couples who love each other are really, really good at not forgiving each other. If someone does something wrong, nothing they can do will make up for that wrong. And that wrong will be played out verbally, over and over, forever.

People are only human. We do things that hurt people. Rarely do we do things to hurt someone on purpose. And yet, in relationships, we often take the thing that someone does to us so personally that we refuse to believe that they didn ‘ t set out to hurt us. And that is unforgivable.

I have a client whose partner was so late getting home one night that he missed a date they had planned. He was delayed at work and then got stuck in traffic, and it was a disaster. She took it personally. If you loved me, she said, you would have gotten home on time. And she truly believed what she said.

The reality is is that he DOES love her. He just didn ‘ t allow enough time. And he blew it, but he does love her. And it ‘ s important for her to understand that. And it makes it easier to forgive. He was late. He didn ‘ t plan well. He blew it. And he does love her.

Of course another piece of forgiveness is that the wrong-doer must apologize for the hurt caused. Because therein lies the issue that will carry forth forever – the hurt. Not so much the actions but the resulting feelings.

So don ‘ t take things personally. And apologize for the hurt. Forgive and move on.

#8 – Never show contempt.

If there is one thing that kills love, it ‘ s contempt. Do anything that you can to keep it out of your relationship.

Contempt seems to rear its ugly head when wrongs fester, when people don ‘ t forgive when being critical is the norm and respect is lost. Contempt manifests itself with derisive comments about your partner and comments about who they are as a person.

My ex-husband had a really hard time getting things done around the house. I told him, over and over, that if he was my employee, I would fire him. And I wouldn ‘ t say it in a loving way. I would say it dismissively, almost with a wave of my hand. I can only imagine how it must have felt to be on the receiving end of my contempt.

Therapists say that when they see contempt in a relationship they know that it ‘ s close to over. So if you find yourself acting contemptuously, STOP, assess and figure out what needs to be done.

Don ‘ t let contempt kill love because it will.

Of course, there are obvious ways to show someone that you love them. You hug them and kiss them and have sex with them and tell them that they are wonderful and hang out with their friends and visit their mother. All of those things are an excellent way to show you someone you love them.

But they will have a hard time accepting your love if you aren ‘ t willing to forgive them if you can ‘ t support them and are constantly critical of them. Back up your kisses with words and actions, and they will know that you are the one for them.

If you have read this far you must really love someone and want them to know.
Let me help you, NOW, before they get away!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

5 Ways to Fix A Relationship NOW – Even If It Feels Really Far Gone

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I have many clients who come to me looking for ways to fix a relationship because they say that they are still in love with their partner but that they are finding it harder and harder to stay that way. They are sad and lonely and desperate to change.

Fortunately, and unfortunately, most relationships are the same. They go through good times and bad. And the bad times are all very similar, standard even, in their issues. And because the issues are standard, they are identifiable and easy to address.

#1 – Stop snipping.

Imagine walking into a room and seeing a friend and asking them how they are doing. How do you THINK I am doing, they respond, nastily. I have been cooking and cleaning all day and where have you been? Would that person be your friend for long? Probably not.

Stop for a minute and consider whether you ever speak that way to your partner. Maybe? Probably? Well, stop it!

Snipping gets us nowhere. It might make us feel good in the moment but all it really does is make the other person shut down. And feel bad about themselves and you.

Next time try this when asked by your partner how you are doing. I am stressed out. I have too much to do and feel overwhelmed. Can you help me?

I can guarantee you positive results – both in getting the needed help and in not adding any more fuel to the fire of resentment.

#2 – Don ‘ t make assumptions.

Life is busy and there is a lot to be done. Chores around the house, time spent with friends, exercise regimes, demands from the kids. And it ‘ s easy to just assume that it ‘ s all going to fit into a day.

We all know, but seem to forget, that this is not the case. There are only 24 hours in a day and only so much that can get done.

It is very important that you both agree on what those things need to be.

I have a client who struggles most with her husband over the weekends. She has a list for him on Saturday morning and she knows that when he is done with that list there will be more for him to do.

My client ‘ s husband wants to make his wife happy and sets out to do the list but gets distracted by tossing the ball with his child, a pre-planned bike ride with friends, that engine that needs to be tinkered with or even something else that his spouse proposes. The list doesn ‘ t get done. And she gets pissed. And he gets defensive and everything falls apart.

I suggested that on Saturday morning she and her spouse discuss their expectations for the day and get them clearly defined. What does she REALLY need done? What does he feel he can get done? What does he want to do outside of chores?

If everyone agrees up front then no one gets let down or screamed at for not getting things done. And if that doesn ‘ t happen then Saturday night is a much better place. A place for making love not war.

#3 – Don ‘ t take everything personally.

My husband ‘ s only job this weekend was to find us windows for our house renovation, my client announced to me one session. He didn ‘ t. If he loved me he would have made it happen.

Sound familiar? If he loved me he would ‘ ¦.

So I have to say it: this concept is total shit and the reason so many marriages fall apart.

My client ‘ s husband didn ‘ t get the windows chosen not because he didn ‘ t love her. He didn ‘ t get the windows chosen because he got a work call and had to deal with that and then lunch happened and then his son needed him and then it was naptime and then he just forgot.

There is a big difference between him not getting it done because he doesn ‘ t love her and what actually happened.

So DON ‘ T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY. It ‘ s really not all about you.

#4 – Learn each other ‘ s love language.

I truly believe that the best tool in a successful relationship is Gary Chapman ‘ s 5 Love Languages. Go to Amazon right now and download it onto your Kindle.

The premise behind his book is that there are five love languages, five ways that people express and receive love.

The languages are: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Giving of Gifts.

For each person one of those things is the thing that makes them feel the most loved when it is done unto them. When a partner tries to love them using a different love language they don ‘ t feel loved.

My love language is Quality Time – I feel loved when someone is truly present with me, listening to me, focusing on me. My ex-husbands ‘ love language was Physical Touch – he felt love when I was holding his hand, hugging him or, yep, that.

Unfortunately, the language that we spoke best with each other was Acts of Service – we did things for each other, like changing the oil in the car or going to the grocery store. Stuff got done but neither of us felt loved.

Check out the 5 Love Languages at www.5lovelanguages.com. There you will find a quiz that you and your partner can both complete and you can start loving each other in a way that will work.

#5 – Fool Around and Laugh.

Yes, I know it always comes down to sex for me. I know. I do believe that it is a huge part of any healthy relationship. Sex provides intimacy and connection that makes your relationship with your partner different from the relationship that you have with any other person on earth. It ‘ s definitely important.

But it ‘ s not ALL that is important.

Couples need to laugh together, to have fun together. So much time is spent with the family business and the outside world that we tend to lose track of that person we proclaim is the most important to us.

Remember when you were falling in love? All of the time that was spent laughing? What made you laugh together back then? Can you go back to those things and do them again now? Or is there something new?

Whatever it is that makes you laugh do it! And do it together.

Personally, one of my favorite relationships ever was with a man I laughed with WHILE we were making love. Rolling around, being intimate and laughing together kept us deeply connected to each other. Our relationship had to end but we are still friends and look back on those times together as pure magic.

Ask any single person what it is they long for most in this world and they will say that it ‘ s to be in a relationship.

If you are in one you are very lucky. If you are in one that is struggling, fix it. Because you are very lucky to have it. And you will miss it if, and when, it goes.

So take a moment right now to take stock of your relationship. Does it need fixing? If yes, take my list, grab your partner, and start making it happen!

Looking for more ways to fix your relationship? Contact me and I can help!

 

 

Understanding the 5 Love Languages In 2025

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The 5 Love Languages, as introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” are the different ways people prefer to give and receive love.

These Love Languages include Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts.

Love is the foundation of any relationship but is not always expressed similarly. Each individual has a unique way of expressing and receiving love, which can often lead to misunderstandings and miscommunications in a relationship.

This is where the concept of the 5 Love Languages comes into play.

We might feel loved when we get a piece of jewelry as an expression of affection, but our partner might feel loved by spending a full day together, just the two of you. We might feel loved when we get a hug, but our partner might feel loved if we take out the trash.

Understanding 5 love languages:

The key is learning what your partner needs to feel loved. Your partner will truly feel loved when you learn what that is and express your love using those actions.

Now let me explain each Love Language and the ways to understand them.

#1 – Quality Time:

Quality Time refers to spending time with your partner without distractions or interruptions. It is not about the quantity of time spent together but rather the quality of that time. Quality Time activities include walking, having dinner together, or watching a movie.

Nothing says ‘ I love you ‘ like full, undivided attention. Being there for this person is critical, but being there ‘ ”with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby ‘ ”makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Whether it is spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time.

#2 – Words of Affirmation:

Actions don ‘ t always speak louder than words. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to you if this is your love language. Hearing ‘ I love you ‘ is important ‘ ” hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

To show love through Words of Affirmation, try giving compliments, expressing gratitude, or leaving notes for your partner. These small gestures can go a long way in making them feel loved and valued.

#3 – Physical Touch:

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm ‘ ”they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

To show love through Physical Touch, try hugging your partner, holding hands, or kissing them. These small gestures can create deep intimacy and connection between partners.

#4 – Acts of Service:

Can helping with homework be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an ‘ Acts of Service ‘ person will speak volumes. He or she most wants to hear the words: ‘ Let me do that for you. ‘ Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don ‘ t matter. When others serve you out of love (and not obligation), you feel truly valued and loved.

#5 – Receiving Gifts:

Don ‘ t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, cared for, and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.

A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous ‘ ”so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are heartfelt symbols of someone else’s love and affection for you.

So now you are familiar with the 5 Love Languages. What to do next?

Go to Gary Chapman ‘ s website, www.5lovelanguages.com, and, along with your partner, take the assessment. You will learn which of the love languages are yours, and your partner will learn which are theirs.

Once you both know each others ‘ love languages, you can stop stabbing blindly in the dark and tell your partner you love them in a language they will understand.

The result? Loving and being loved. One of the keys to happiness and an essential part of living the life of your dreams.

Want more ideas about how to connect with your partner? I can help! Contact me now, and let ‘ s get you started on the path to the relationship of your dreams.

How To Make your Husband Feel Loved: 5 Best Ideas

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Being a mom and a partner can be tough.

From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world.

Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born, you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case, and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, which can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

How To Make Your Husband Feel Loved:s

It is possible to to find ways to make your husband feel loved. Here are some ways to start!

#1 – Make sure you speak their language.

Most of us express our love for our partners the way we want to be loved. If we like hugs, we give them to our partner, hoping they will feel our love for them. Or we might give them gifts, showing them that we are attached to them.

Unfortunately, this tactic can fail because, despite our efforts, if our partner needs something different to feel loved, then our efforts will fall flat.

Fortunately, there is a tool at hand that will help you learn to understand ways to make your husband feel loved.

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. If you can understand what your partner needs to feel loved, then you can do those things instead of what you need. And they will feel loved.

I would encourage both of you should go to the 5 Love Languages website,www.5lovelanguages.com, and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

I works. Big time. I promise.

#2 – Use your words.

I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their husband that they love them and my client says, ‘ He knows that I love do. ‘

Maybe this is true, and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your husband in the eye and tell him daily that you love them.

It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful, or that you miss them. They might ‘ know it ‘ already, but words are very meaningful.

A client’s of mine never heard from her spouse when he was away, and it was very painful because she missed him. They argued about it almost every time he left, but she wasn’t clear why she wanted to hear from him, so he didn’t change his behavior. I suggested that she tell him she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone.

She says he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

So use your words to express your feelings. You will be happy you did.

#3 – Touch him.

Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person.

Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies; that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your husband.

Touch him when he walks in the door, take his hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around him when you go to sleep at night.

Touching your partner will speak volumes about your love for them.

#4 – Be kind.

I know this seems basic, but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life.

I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm that was hard to repair.

A man and woman sitting at a table with a laptop.

I have a client who came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old, and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn ‘ t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, ‘ no. ‘

She intended to be kind that day, and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom.

You know the saying, ‘ If you love someone, set them free. ‘

Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. However, this clinginess can drive someone away because your partner will resent your need to constantly have them by your side.

You should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once before we became a couple and then a family, and it ‘ s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and parent.

I know that looking for ways to make your husband feel love can feel like a lot of effort and something what will add a lot of stress to your life.

But doing so is important.

Stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner every day, as you navigate this crazy world. Pretty good.

Are you looking for ways to make your husband feel loved?

Let me help you learn some tools, NOW, before it goes too far!

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

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