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Tag Archive for: overwhelm

5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible

March 28, 2017/1 Comment/by Mitzi Bockmann


So you have a dream. Something that you really want. Perhaps something that you have always wanted or maybe something you have just recently come to understand you want. You have a dream.

There are ways to get exactly what you want – even if it seems impossible.

Time to make it happen. You can do it!

#1 – Know what EXACTLY it is you want.

In order to get what you want to have to know exactly what it is you want.

I have a client who hired me because she wanted to move and she needed support to do so. ‘ What, ‘ I asked her, ‘ does that mean, specifically? ‘

She wasn’t sure. She was renting, and she hated her apartment. So I asked some questions.

Did she want to move to another apartment or a house? Did she want to continue to rent or to buy? Did she like her neighborhood or did she want to make a big move?

After some discussion, she decided that she wanted to stay in her neighborhood and buy either a town home or an apartment.

She knew what she wanted. Next, we started working on getting it for her.

#2 – Start taking steps NOW!

One of the biggest obstacles to getting what we want is that we get overwhelmed. The distance that we have to travel, and the obstacles that we have to overcome, can often times seem too overwhelming and so we stop before we even start.

For my client who wanted to move, she was so overwhelmed at the prospect of BUYING A HOUSE. So, instead of focusing on BUYING A HOUSE, I suggested that her first step was to go online and find some listings that she liked. Just to do that. When she was ready she would go look at some of them. The actual BUYING A HOUSE would be further down the road when the time came.

She was not overwhelmed by the prospect of looking at some listings. So she did, and she was off.

#3 – Recognize your fears.

Fear is one of the biggest obstacles for getting what we want. Fear that we won ‘ t get what we want. Fear that we will get hurt along the way. Fear that we will get what we want and then what will we do?

Identifying fears is the only way to deal with them.

For my client, her fears were many.

She was scared of the process of looking at houses. So we started slowly with identifying listings and then moved on to actually looking.

She was scared that she wouldn ‘ t find something she liked that she could afford. So she looked at many different places in her price range so see what her options were.

She was scared of the mortgage process. So I had her meet with a mortgage broker who could walk her through the process.

Fears are going to happen, but if you identify them one at a time, you can deal with them.

#4 – NO second guessing.

For many of us we know what we want but other people have opinions and as a result, we often lose sight of what that really is. Perhaps your dream gets modified because of something your mom suggests. Or perhaps you don ‘ t believe you can do it because your sister reminds you that you have never succeeded before.

Don ‘ t let this happen. Know what you want. Write it down. Write down the path to getting it. Write down the obstacles that will present themselves. Write down your fears.

When someone tries to question you, refer to your lists, remind yourself what it is that you want, that you know how to get there and that you are going to. No matter what!

You can do it!

#5 – Never never never give up.

Yes, obstacles are going to arise, fears are going to rear their ugly head, and you are going to get supremely overwhelmed. And this is where many people give up. I mean, if the House can ‘ t get the votes to repeal and replace Obamacare the first time out then it should be the law of the land forever. Right? NO!

When obstacles and fears present themselves, take them one at a time and deal with them. My client looked at house after house after house and was increasingly desolate that she would never find one. I told her to keep it up. And she did!

Until you guessed it, she found an apartment. The apartment of her dreams.

She never gave up and she got exactly what she wanted.

You have a dream. I know you do. And you can get it exactly as you want it. You just need to know what it is, see how to get there, slay obstacles one by one and never give up.

Really, how hard is that? YOU can totally do it. My client did.

And yes, she is living happily ever after ‘ ¦..


 

If you have read this far you must really wantsomething.
Let me help you, NOW, so you don’t have to wait!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win

November 3, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


You know how sometimes it just hits you? You have so much going on in your life that you aren ‘ t sleeping at all. Your work is suffering, your relationships are fraught with tension, bills are going unpaid, and you have eaten an entire box of Oreos every night this week.

And then one more thing gets piled on top, and that ‘ s it. The camel’s back is broken. Your heart starts racing, your brain fills with cotton, you get dizzy, and you can ‘ t breathe. You are officially overwhelmed.

Being overwhelmed makes you feel literally paralyzed. It prevents you from moving forward in any meaningful way. It prevents you from moving forward at all. You are simply there, in a vortex, circling the drain. Not good.

I know it doesn’t feel that way, but there are definitely ways to survive it. One step at a time.

The first step – is awareness. Always key. Know what it is you are feeling – overwhelm. Once you know what it is, you can proceed.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win.

#1 – Breathe

When we are stressed out, we hold our breath. There is a physiological reason we hold our breath: increased tension in the muscles responsible for breathing. These include the thoracic diaphragm and some of the abdominal, chest, neck and shoulder muscles. When we are stressed, these muscles contract, and breathing stops. Not ideal.

The manner in which we breathe influences our entire being: our mental-emotional states, the nervous system, hormonal balance, muscular tension, and all the functions of body and mind. When we hold our breath our overwhelm will only get worse, not better.

When you are overwhelmed, remember to breathe. Sit up straight and wear clothes that don ‘ t restrict your abdomen (or loosen those jeans). Breathe deeply in, through your nose, for 3 seconds, pulling air down into your diaphragm. Exhale through your nose for 5 seconds. Repeat this series for 5 minutes.

You will start to feel better right away. Physiology declares it be so.

#2 – Walk Away

When you are sitting at your desk, paralyzed and completely overwhelmed by all that is on your plate, it is time to get up and move around.

In addition to breathing, clearing your head is an essential way to beat overwhelmed. Just sitting there staring at all of your stuff, or replaying all sorts of negative tapes in your head, will get you nowhere.

So go for a walk around the block or around the cubicles in the office. Go up and down a few flights of stairs. Do some stretches. Walk over to someone ‘ s desk or house, and have a quick chat. Give your partner a long hug. Have a good laugh. Anything that will get your mind off of your stuff, even for a few minutes.

Sometimes just a little break can make all of the difference.

#3 – Eat a Good Meal

Remember the aforementioned Oreos? Yes, they are yummy going down, but nutritionally, they do you no good at all.

What you need when you are overwhelmed is a good dose of protein, some carbs, and a few healthy fats.

In the short term, a good meal will help your brain work better, help keep your breathing and your heart rate moderate and allow you to get past the overwhelm.

In the long term, your body will be stronger because you feed it healthy food. And when you are stronger, you can better prevent overwhelm from happening in the first place.

Try a turkey sandwich on toasted rye bread with some Swiss cheese and cole slaw. If you don’t have time to sit down, feast on some mixed nuts (walnuts, cashews, and almonds) and an apple. Add water. Or try a smoothie with coconut milk, flax, and chia seeds, an avocado, and some berries. Truly yummy.

#4 – Take a Nap

Yeah, right, you say. A nap! Ha. You have WAY too much to do to take a nap.

Taking a nap can change everything. It will help your brain quiet for a bit, restore your body and enable you to think more clearly to get through this tough time.

It doesn ‘ t have to be a long nap. Close your shades and pull a blanket over your fully clothed self and set the alarm for 30 minutes. That will give you 10 minutes to fall asleep and 20 minutes to sleep.

You will wake up refreshed and ready to plunge ahead. Really.

#5 – Make a Plan

Before you take, this step do at least one of the steps above. You need to manage your body ‘ s reaction to the overwhelm before you can take action to fix it.

One of the reasons that we get overwhelmed is that we feel we have no control over the things that are causing that overwhelm. It ‘ s time to regain some.

Sit down and make a list of everything that you have to do. Everything.

Now review that list and pick out 5 things that need to be done immediately. From that list of 5 break it down again, this time prioritizing. These are the things that you are going to do first. You will ignore the other things on the list, and I mean IGNORE, until those first things are done.

Give yourself a deadline to get each of those things done. There might be an external deadline already in place but if it ‘ s something with no deadline give yourself one. Give yourself an hour or a day but give yourself a deadline and stick to it.

When you have completed all of the items on the first list go back to your original list and add new things, if necessary. Pick out the next 5 things that need to be done immediately. Repeat the process above.

Take control of your life instead of letting your life control you, and you will beat overwhelm. I promise.

So there you go, my 5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm.

Unfortunately, overwhelm is not uncommon in this chaotic, jam-packed, and exhausting modern life in which we live. Almost every one of my clients reports having it at some point, often more than once. But there are ways to beat it back and maybe even prevent it from happening at all.

So breathe, move, eat, sleep, and organize. You just might find it will change your life.

Looking for more ways to overcome overwhelm? Contact me, and I can help!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

I'm here to help

I am a New York City-based Certified Life Coach with 10 years experience as a working life coach. I am certified through the Coach Training Alliance and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. These people have succeeded at, among other things, restoring the love in their relationships, getting to know themselves again and finding their place in the world.

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More About overwhelm

  • A woman holding onto some flowers while standing on top of a hill.5 Ways to Get Exactly What You Want – Even if it Seems Impossible

    28 Mar 2017

  • A yellow emoticon with an expression of shock.5 Ways to Fight Back Overwhelm – Even if It Threatens to Win

    3 Nov 2016

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