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5 Life-Changing Ways that Life Coaching is Different from Therapy

You have been considering life coaching because you have heard that it can change your life. You have might have been in therapy for years and, while it has helped you very much, you know that you are still stuck in many ways.

So now you are considering life coaching and you want to know more.

Let me help!

5 Life-Changing Ways that Life Coaching is Different from Therapy

#1 – If therapy is like archeology, life coaching is like architecture.

A wise person once told me that therapy is like archeology. You dig deep into your history and try to sort through what you find to figure yourself out.

In life coaching one takes what one already has, the stuff learned from therapy and the realities that are your life today, and builds on that. You learn how to live fully with all that you carry with you, to shed what you can and to move forward confidently.

While therapy and life coaching both have their benefits, with life coaching you can be sure that you will be doing more than just talking. You will be defining and taking radical, exciting and fun steps to change your life, and your future, right away.

#2 – In life coaching you will learn to identify EXACTLY what it is you want.

The thing about life is that we know when something is missing. When we aren’t happy or fulfilled. The key to change is identifying what exactly is that missing thing.

One of my clients knew that she just wasn’t happy in her marriage. Her husband worked hard, they didn’t argue, was a good father etc. She just wasn’t satisfied. We talked it through and she realized that what was missing was the thing that she needed most to feel loved – communication. Simply talking. About life and stuff and issues. Just talking.

Once we identified what she needed we could make a plan for how to get it.

#3 – In life coaching we will create a step-by-step plan to get what you want.

Once we identified that my client needed more communication in her life we addressed how she could get it.

It wasn’t so simple for my client to just ask for it. She wanted her husband to be the one that initiated it. We talked about whether he had the capacity to do that. To initiate. Some people just don’t. After some thought she realized that he probably didn’t and that she was going to have to make the first move.

She decided, after some conversation with me, that she would ask that they could schedule in some time every day to talk and to put it on the calendar. If it was on the calendar he would initiate, that she knew.

So that’s what she did. And their marriage improved. Sometimes it’s just as easy as that.

#4 – In life coaching you will be held accountable.

Accountability is an essential part of successful life coaching.

When my client sets a goal I am there on the sidelines to make sure it happens. And how do I do that? Pestering and holding her accountable.

I had a client who decided she needed to walk 3 days a week. I knew that if she walked three days a week for 6 weeks she would be able to make it a habit and therefore stick to it. She knew that in the past she had dropped her goal within a week or so and she didn’t want to do that again.

So, for 6 weeks, I would text my client every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to see if she had walked. If she didn’t she would have to confess to it. And she didn’t want to have to do that.

It’s been 6 months and my client is up to 4 days a week and she is feeling great. She says that having my encouragement, and pestering, made all the difference.

#5 – In life coaching you will feel and see tangible results quickly.

Speedy results! This is the wonderful thing about life coaching. You don’t have to wait months and months to see change. Change happens as quickly as you want to make it happen. It relies almost exclusively on you and the work that you are willing to do.

When you identify issues and create goals to get you there you can make things happen. And life coaching is the vehicle that enables you to do that! And fast!

So there you go. 5 Life-Changing Ways that Life Coaching is Different from Therapy.

Life coaching truly is life changing. And that life change can be yours right now if you reach out to a life coach (like me!) who can help you identify exactly what you want, help you create a path to get there and hold you accountable for making it happen.

Imagine what it would feel like to finally change that thing in your life that is holding you back.

You can do it!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways to Be More Productive and CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Lack of productivity can be very destructive. It can lead to overwhelm, which can be paralyzing, and it can be very demoralizing, which can lead to low self-esteem.

Neither of those things help you live the life of your dreams.

There are a myriad of reasons why my clients seek me out to be their life coach but most often a piece of it is that they need some help with productivity. I am happy to report that without exception those clients who were willing to take on their low productivity reported a dramatic change after just a few weeks of working with me.

Today I am going to share with you the work that I have done with my clients so you can learn about being more productive.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways to Be More Productive and CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

#1 – Identify what it is you want. Precisely.

Many of my clients come to me with an idea of what they want from their life. A new job, a better marriage, improved relations with co-workers, how to move forward in a different way. What many of those clients haven’t done is identify what exactly it is they want. Without that knowledge moving forward is impossible.

I have a client who came to me because she was miserable in her job of 15 years but she just didn’t know what to do. She had tried to make adjustments at work so that she could be happier but to no avail. She was stuck with what to do next. Paralyzed in fact.

I asked her where she would go if she left her job. She had no idea. She knew that she wanted out but she had given no thought to where she would like to jump. And, I asked, how would you get to that new place. Again, my question was met with silence.

The next part was quick and easy. We brainstormed new career paths, ideas that made her heart sing. We then cleaned up her resume to reflect that new job she sought. Next she researched job opportunities and applied for those jobs. Within a few weeks she had some interviews and soon after found the job of her dreams.

All this because she identified precisely where she wanted to go. Without concrete information you are stuck. She was. And then she wasn’t.

#2 – Set goals.

Once you know what it is you want to do it’s time to set goals.

I have a client who had created a website and she had been working on it’s blog for almost a year. She had been tweaking and re-tweaking and then walking away, bored and frustrated, only to eventually come back and tweak it some more.

I asked her how determined she was to get this blog onto her site. Scale of 1-10. 10 she said. So we set a date. A date one month later. She put it on her calendar.

One month later, after years in process, after having set goals with me and making a plan, her blog was up.

Was she proud? Did her self-esteem go through the roof? Yes and yes. Awesome!

#3 – Make a plan.

Having a plan is an essential part of being productive. Without a plan you are stabbing about in the dark.

I have a client who HATED going to the grocery store. HATED it. So she didn’t. As a result she didn’t eat well and always felt weak.

I asked her why she hated the grocery store. She said the noise and the lights were annoying, things were hard to find, she never had time to find recipes of things to make, and she didn’t want to spend the money. All valid reasons.

So we made a plan. First we skipped the recipes. I had her make a list of things that she knew how to cook and of things she liked to eat. She made a list using those things as a basis and I helped her organize her list into groups that related to areas in the grocery store. We made a plan of when she could go, at times when it was less crowded. She also decided to wear her headphones so the noise was less daunting.

Last, but not least, we set a specific date and time. And when she was done shopping she had to call me. And you know what? She did it. She has food. She feels better. And she did it again the next week.

#4 – Have a great calendar and use it wisely.

I had a client who had the most lofty goals but she didn’t believe herself capable of following through on anything. As a result nothing ever got done.

Here is what we did. Every Sunday night we made a calendar for her for the week. On it, in red, were the things that she HAD to do. Doctor’s appointments, driving to soccer, her half hour walk, 1 hour of writing. And then, in green, were the things that she wanted to get done. Balancing her checkbook, cleaning out closets, making some phone calls. She added things in black as things popped up during the week.

Those items in red were non-negotiable. If an emergency came up and she wasn’t able do a red item then she had to immediately reschedule it for another day that week. It wasn’t allowed to fall through the cracks.

The green items were treated the same but they could be moved to the next week if necessary.

The black were things that tended to get done because they were last minute and she was able to get them done because that’s how she thrived, with a time limit.

She knew I would be checking up on her so she stuck to it as agreed.

It took a few weeks but using her calendar really allowed my client to be as productive as she had always hoped to be. And being so productive ramped up her self-esteem in a big way. She realized that she wanted to keep doing this, on her own, because she liked how she felt and she didn’t want to let herself down. So she did. I was proud.

#5 – Find someone to hold you accountable.

This is a big part of my role as a life coach. We all need accountability. Someone to encourage us to get things done and to help us figure out why when we don’t.

I know you have your friends and your family and your co-workers to support you but more often than not those people will lean towards supporting you, to listening to your rationalizations and letting you off the hook.

Not me.

I know the importance of staying on track, both for productivity’s sake and for building self-esteem. Productivity is important for its own sake – things need to get done. Period.

Another reason productivity is so important is because of it’s effect on your self-esteem. My clients are always so hard on themselves because they can never get things done, they are so far behind, they let other people down. Not doing these things can boost one’s self-esteem significantly. And having higher self-esteem makes one more prone to being productive. See how that works?

It’s a win-win in so many ways.

So there you go, my 5 Ways to be More Productive and CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Our lives are crazy, jam packed and exhausting. Not being productive can cause overwhelm, and overwhelm can lead you down a path that makes it all worse.

It doesn’t have to be this way. There are ways to be productive and make one’s life a little less exhausting. As you can see above, my clients prove that it can be done.

You can do it too!

Need more tips on being more productive? Contact me and I can help.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So

I have a client who was gifted 3 life-coaching sessions by her sister. While she truly appreciated the gift, she was rather insulted that her sister thought that she needed a life coach.  She wasn’t really happy, she thought, but she was fine.

One month later, though, is she happy that she found me. She says that she was very skeptical coming into working with me because she had been seeing therapists for years, to no avail, and then, in 3 short weeks, her life was on a completely different track.

Here is my latest: 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life – Even Though She Was Skeptical That I Could Do So.

#1 – I provided insight.

During our first session my client told me about how miserable she was. She was unhappy in her job, her marriage was floundering, she wasn’t able to exercise because of an injury and she was drinking too much. She felt hopeless.

She also told me that she had just weaned herself off of her anti-depressant. That she had reduced her dose for 3 months and she was on her second week of no meds at all.

I put two and two together and asked when her overwhelming feelings of hopelessness had started. She said about 2 months earlier. “So just about when you started weaning off your meds?” I asked. She thought about it and agreed with me.

I suggested that she ask her doctor about going back on her meds, perhaps at a lower dosage, to see if it made any difference with her negative feelings. And guess what? She did and it did.

Without me there to listen and point things out objectively, with no agenda, like a relative might have, she might not have seen that her lack of meds was affecting her so. Nor, without the meds, would she have been able to start the other hard work that we began next.

#2 – I held her accountable. Big time.

During one of our sessions we started to talk about her drinking. She was on a cleanse and when she was done she was determined that she wouldn’t go back to her regular drinking habits. She recognized that she probably had a drinking problem but wanted to try to control it on her own.

We then talked about her calling her primary care doctor to get the name of an alcohol counselor. “Just get a name,” I told her.  It would be a first step towards stopping her drinking, something that I knew was important to her because she didn’t want it to affect her kids.

One week later I checked in. She responded that she was great and that she hadn’t contacted a counselor and could she put off our appointment for two weeks so she could get some things done?

I told her no. That I wanted to talk with her on Monday, even if just for a few minutes. And what did she do because she knew that she was going to talk with me? She not only made an appointment with a therapist but she went to it before we talked.

She was feeling so great when we talked. She had much hope after her therapy session. And she thanked me for pushing her into doing it.

#3 – I helped make her career clearer.

My client has a job that suits her needs. She likes what she does, works hard enough and has summers off. But she is approaching 30 and wants to make sure that she doesn’t let her career life pass her by without being all that she could be.

But what would that look like? Being all that she could be?

I had her make a list of everything that made her heart sing and then I had her read it back to me during our phone call. After she read that list we started talking about possible career options. Because she had just read a list of what made her heart sing her mind was clear and wide open. And we used some of those things on her list to identify a career move.

And guess what? We landed on one. A good one. Her homework was to take the first step towards making it happen.

As we were wrapping up she said “Can I tell you something? It’s almost embarrassing. I make these little kids bracelets and I would love to make them and sell them on Etsy.”

“What a great idea,” I replied and gave her some ideas for getting started down that path as well.

If she hadn’t felt comfortable enough to trust me with that little pearl of wisdom it might never have popped out of her mouth and come to fruition. And she was so happy it did.

#4 – I taught her how to talk with her husband.

My client has a very good relationship with her husband overall but communication had broken down, like it does in many long-term relationships.

They had some things to talk about and she had no idea how to broach them.

I taught her that the most important part of communication is to talk not about how the other person is acting but how their actions make you feel. Another person can not get angry with you because of how you feel but they can get defensive about what they perceive is an attack on their character.

I also taught her that timing was everything. That if she wanted to talk about their drinking I suggested that 9:00pm, after a few cocktails, was not the best time. 9:00am after coffee might be better.

Armed with these new tools she set out to have a constructive conversation with her hubby and have one they did.

#5 – I taught her how to believe in herself.

We are all our own worst enemies. We catalog all of our worst traits and transgressions and trot them out whenever we feel it necessary. As a result we tend to really not like or believe in ourselves.

I had my client keep a running list of daily successes. Big and small.

Getting out of bed. Not yelling at the kids before breakfast. A great meeting at work. Not having three slices of pizza for lunch but only two. Getting off the couch and going for a walk after dinner.

Successes, big and small.

I then had my client read her list of successes every night before bed. So she could sleep on them and remember them. That way those successes would be foremost in her mind, as opposed to her failures, and then she could trot them out when needed.

Believing in herself has allowed my client to move forward in her life, working on her relationship with her husband, growing her career and dealing with her drinking with more self-confidence.

And self-confidence is the key to success.

So there you go, my 5 Ways I Helped Change a Client’s Life.

We all have issues in our lives and we all find them difficult to deal with. We have the support of friends and family but more often than not they just want to support us, to tell us what we want to hear.

But not a life coach. A life coach will tell you what she sees, objectively and professionally, and hold you accountable for plans that you make. She is the guardian angel who sits on your shoulder and reminds you that you are wonderful. She is the wonderland elf who gives you tools to succeed. She is the fairy godmother who helps make all of your dreams come true.

Sounds pretty wonderful doesn’t it?


Let me help you make BIG CHANGES in your life.

Contact me NOW and I can help!


 

 

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely

Everywhere you look you are bombarded with the message that if you do this ONE THING (take a pill, buy a dress, fix your hair, lease a car) your life will change. And we have all tried that ONE THING and no miraculous change has occurred.

Shocking! And disappointing.

Working with a life coach is different. The life coach approach to change is different from anything that you have ever tried before and it’s potential to create significant change in your life is not to be underestimated.

Ready to be all that you want to be? Truly?

Here are my 5 Reasons Why Life Coaching Will Be The ONE THING That Changes Your Life – Even if you Think it’s not Very Likely.

#1. A life coach will help you define what you want and who you want to be.

We know that we are dissatisfied with our lives but most of us don’t know what exactly that looks like. A life coach will help you take stock of your life and define where you are now and where you want to be.

Working with me, we will look at 5 key areas of your life: physical & mental health, life skills, relationship health, personal care, career satisfaction.

A good look at each of these areas will help us determine where you are now and where you want to be, information that is indispensable in the process of bringing about change.

#2 – A life coach will help you create a plan.

Once you have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to be it’s time to make a plan. You can try to do this on your own but oftentimes the prospect seems so overwhelming and off-putting that you just don’t know where to start. So you don’t.

A life coach can help you cut through the clutter and the chaos and help you create a plan to get you where you want to be, step by step.

#3 – A life coach will hold you accountable.

This is a key part of life coaching, one of those things that you really CAN’T find anywhere else. Seriously. Anywhere else.

We all have friends and loved ones who support us and promise to make sure that we do what we say we are going to do. But they love us and they don’t want to nag and they just want us to be happy. And all of that is wonderful but it doesn’t help you reach your dreams.

Every week your life coach will work with you to create action steps and every week the two of you will come up with a list of “homework,” things to be done to move you forward on your path.

The following week your coach will ask about your homework and, I promise that you are going to want to report in that you did it. And you will want to do it because you will see how remarkable is the change that is happening.

#4 – A life coach will power you through the obstacles.

Rocks get onto the road that we are traveling. Sometimes they are small ones that we can pick up and toss aside but sometimes they are boulders that will require a little more effort to maneuver around.

A life coach has the knowledge and experience to help you break through those rocks. A life coach can teach you tools that you need to get past any rock that might get in your way, big or small.

And those tools you can use now and carry in your toolbox forever.

#5 – A life coach will give you unconditional support and encouragement.

Think about a football coach. What does he do? He teaches his team how to play their best and cheers from the sidelines as they do so.

A life coach is the same way. A life coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader but at the same time teach you how to be your true self.

And a life coach will be there every step of the way, to help you when you falter and cheer you on when you succeed.

Isn’t that just the kind of unconditional support we all really want?

So there you go…5 Ways Working with a Life Coach Will Change Your Life.

So now you can see how life coaching really is that ONE THING that can help you bring about significant, wondrous change.

Working with a life coach will help you to finally live the life that you have always known you could live. And you don’t need to change your hair color or your ride to do so.

Of course, every time I mention a life coach above I mean ME, so get in touch with me NOW  and let’s getting started making your dreams come true!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

5 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Life Coach, Even if She Thinks She Doesn’t

When we get married and have kids no one gives us a manual on how to be an effective spouse or parent. As a result we are more often than not just winging it. We check websites, talk to our friends, listen to our mothers but really we are just flying by the seat of our pants, trying to follow our instincts. And we do the best that we can.

Imagine having someone walk by your side, whispering in your ear, encouraging you and supporting you through those tough life decisions. A life coach can do that for you.

Here are my 5 Reasons Every Woman Needs a Life Coach, Even if She Thinks She Doesn’t.

#1 – To feel less torn in a million different directions and more whole. The key role that a life coach plays in the life of a mom is to help identify opportunities and make a plan. Many moms are so caught up in the day-to-day struggle of getting things done that they lose sight of the big picture. When working with me, instead of winging it, a mom is working a daily plan, one that helps her reach her goal as she defines it, a plan that she has helped create so she knows that it will work for her.

One of my clients was completely overwhelmed by her life…managing her work, both at home and at the office, her kids, her volunteer work and her friends. We took a good hard look at what was important to her and what was not so much and we made a plan to manage those things in a way that left her more satisfied, less torn, and happier.

#2 – To feel less exhausted and more energized. Imagine going to bed each night and waking up each morning knowing how you are going to get through your day. You know how you are going to take care of yourself so that you can manage this crazy life of yours and not come undone. Imagine how energizing that will feel. You are no longer flying by the seat of your pants, something that leaves you feeling completely drained. This will happen if you identify your opportunities, make a plan and work through them.

Kris knew that she would have to get rid of her farm because the chore work was more than she could handle with the work around her family. She was devastated because her farm was the best part of her day. We looked at what it was about her farm that was so overwhelming and she kept on coming back to her back pain…a pain made more intense by her farm work and made her less able to care for her family. We made a plan for her to see her doctor and get PT and within six months she was able to farm AND take care of her family. She said that attending to that one thing, her back, was life changing for her.

#3 – To feel supported and heard. You have lots of friends, a loving partner, siblings and co-workers who all make you feel supported and heard. But all of those people have lives of their own that they have to attend to and they are more likely than not going to tell you what you want to hear. Not a life coach. I am here to provide you unconditional support when you need it most. And I will listen to you and empathize but I will challenge you on your thinking, to make sure that the choices you are making and the path you are choosing is the right path for you.

#4 – To improve your relationships. Life as a mother is chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting. We are pulled in a million different ways and, often as not, we are crabby as hell. We snap at our kids, sulk at our partners and ignore our mothers. All of these things do not improve our relationships. Working with a life coach will allow you to define your goals, give you a path to get there and ultimately give you the life of your dreams. And when you are happy your children will thrive, your relationship flourish and your career will soar. Everybody wins!

#5 – To hold you accountable and help you celebrate. The best thing about a life coach is that I will hold you accountable in reaching your dreams. I will be there, by your side, supporting you step by step and if, for some reason, you falter I will pick you up by your bootstraps and get you back on the path. And then, when you reach the life of your dreams, I will be there to help you celebrate because I will know, more than anyone, how hard you have worked to achieve it. Imagine how good that will feel, reaching your dreams.

So there you go. 5 Reasons Why Every Woman Needs a Life Coach. I know it’s hard to believe that you deserve one, but remember this: if a woman is living the life of her dreams, her relationship will be happier, her children better adjusted, her friendships stronger and her work more successful.

Have you had experience working with a life coach? If so, did it work for you?

If you’re a mom and you are thinking about working with a life coach, please contact me for a free 45-minute phone session!

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!

The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams

What are the 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams?

You know that you aren’t satisfied with your chaotic, jam-packed life. You wake up in the morning drained and dreading the day. You are impatient with your friends and co-workers because you have too much on your mind. You yell at your kids when bedtime gets delayed because you know that you have a bunch of things to do that you don’t really want to do. You are not happy and you want to change that.

In this article I will tell you the 5 greatest challenges to reaching your dreams. You will be surprised how simple it is to overcome these challenges!

5 Greatest Challenges Standing in the Way of Your Dreams

 

#1 – Not knowing what your dream is

We all know that we want to be “happy” but most of us cannot define what that really means.  So make a list. Be specific. Knowing what your goals are makes it much easier to get there.

#2 – Listening to what our brains are telling us

Our own brains can be our biggest enemy. Our brains will tell us that we can’t change, that we can’t achieve anything worthwhile, that all is hopeless. These are all lies but we are hardwired to believe them. Learning to not listen to what our brain is telling us is very important. I know that when I started thinking about being a life coach my brain tried to talk me out of it every day. I learned to tell it to just shut up.

#3 – Listening to what other people are telling us

We are, whether we ask for it or not, constantly inundated with other peoples opinions. What we shouldn’t do is believe everything that we are told. People bring their own experiences to a conversation…someone might have tried and failed at what you are trying to do so they will tell you that it’s hopeless. People aren’t going to stop telling you what to do but you can take it all with a grain of salt and do what YOU think you should do (taking into account #2 above).

#4 – Lack of accountability

Ok, think New Years Resolutions.  You make them on January 1st and have every intention of following through on them. By January 31st, or 15th, those intentions are gone. This is because you have no one to hold you accountable. No one to make sure that you follow through. Your friends can try but they have their own resolutions to let go of. You need accountability to follow through effectively.

#5 – Life

Yes, the chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting life that moms, and every woman, leads everyday. That life is what interfered with us reaching our dreams in the first place and what allows us to keep putting them off “until things quiet down.” I am here to tell you that things will never quiet down. You need to make time in your day to reach your dreams or you will never do so.

So there you go. The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams. They are pretty simple, don’t you think? Not one of these challenges is beyond your abilities to overcome. All it takes is some knowledge, intention and guidance.

Do you think that these challenges are something that you could overcome? Does any one seem more daunting than the rest? Do any of these challenges surprise you?

 

Overcoming these challenges in order to reach your dreams can be tough for many people, and it’s often much less challenging with some guidance. If you’d like help figuring out your dreams and paving a way to reach them, get in touch for your first free session with me.

Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. Her writing has been published in The Huffington PostPrevention MagazineThe Good Man Projectamong others. She works exclusively with women to help them to be all that they want to be in this crazy world in which we live.

Looking for more ways to finding happiness? Contact me NOW and I can help!