5 Places To Find Inspiration When Feeling Depressed

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Are you feeling really down and looking to find inspiration when feeling depressed?

Does the world seem hopeless and do you feel helpless and would you do anything to feel just a little bit better?

Let me help!

Even if you might be feeling hopeless and full of despair, there are things out there in the world that will help you get through your day.

#1 – In the faces of those you love

I remember when my kids were little and I was depressed, the prospect of taking care of them seemed like too much to bear. And then they would smile. I would walk into their room in the morning and be greeted with the kind of smile kids saved for their mothers and it would melt my heart. It would also give me hope that my day, and my life, really was ok and that I could do this.

When we are depressed, being with those who love us is the best thing for us. Looking into the eyes of our mother or our sister or our friend and seeing love and compassion can fill us with the strength to move forward in spite of our depression

Spending time laughing and sharing with people you care about is the best medicine when we are feeling depressed. Who would your person be?

#2 – Out of doors.

An amazing place to find inspiration when feeling depressed is in the great outdoors.

I know that when I am feeling depressed getting out for a walk or a hike is the best thing that I can do. I put my ear buds in, turn up my music loud and walk hard. Or I walk slowly, taking notice of all of that is good out there in the natural world. I pause, sit in the sun and take stock of what is going on around me. There is something about noticing how the big and beautiful the world is that makes my problems seem small and less ugly.

A bonus of getting outside when you are feeling depressed is that you get more sunshine and sunshine, and the Vitamin D that you get from it, is an natural anti-depressant. Many people struggling with depression are Vitamin D deficient so spending time in the sun can remedy that.

What do you like to do outdoors? I know it might feel hard to motivate but get up off the couch right now and get out there. You will be glad you did!

#3 – Your favorite TV show

One of the best things to do when you are feeling depressed is to shut down your brain.

When we are depressed, our brains are our worst enemies. We spend time focusing on how sad we are, what losers we are, how we will never be happy again and how could someone possibly love us. And those thoughts just make everything worse.

What ‘ s the best way to shut down these thoughts? Mindless TV.

I know when I am depressed The Walking Dead is my go-to show. There is something about the end of the world that seems very cathartic to me. I have also learned that adrenaline is a natural antidepressant and I know that helps but I also know the characters well and are invested in their futures. Most of all, it takes my mind off of whatever it is I am stewing about that is bringing me down.

What show could you watch today? After you get yourself off the couch and take a walk that is.

#4 – Where you can make a difference

When I was going through my divorce and was terribly depressed I needed something to do to get out of the house so I decided to do some volunteer work.

Every week I would spend 4 hours working at the food pantry, helping register new customers. Talking to people who needed free food was so helpful for my depression because interacting with these people, listening to their stories and helping them get what they needed made me feel really good. I knew that I was making a difference in someone ‘ s life and that felt really good.

Is there somewhere you can do some volunteer work? The opportunities are endless – animal shelters, libraries, food pantries, hospitals. Get yourself out there making a difference in the world and you will feel your depression lift, if only for a while.

#5 – By taking stock

When I am sitting outside in the grass after taking my fast or slow walk, I like to take stock of all that is good in my life. Instead of running through all of the negatives I review, and write down, all that is good in my life. I have my kids, my boyfriend, my kitty, my home, my life coaching business and much more. Looking at my list helps me manage the hopelessness that is my constant companion when I am depressed.

Another thing that I do, because sometimes it ‘ s hard to take stock when I am feeling down, is that, when I am feeling good, I make a list of all of the things that are good in my life so that I can access it when I am feeling down. When the depression hits, I pull out my list and remember all of the things that make my life worth living and that helps manage my depression in a big way.

What is good in your life? I know it might seem hard to access right now but dig deep. Can you name 3 things? I bet you can!

Finding inspiration when feeling depressed is an excellent way to manage your depression, at least for the short term.

Finding little things that can help you feel better in the moment might really help you pull yourself out of your depression.

That being said, it ‘ s important to remember that, if your depression doesn ‘ t go away or seems to get worse, it is essential that you see your primary care doctor to figure out how to treat it. Managing depression on your own isn ‘ t always possible and the longer it goes untreated the worse it will get.

In the meantime, spend time with friends, get outdoors and take stock of all that is good in your life, do good for others and veg out in front of the TV (but only after your walk).

Depression can be debilitating and good for you for trying to figure out ways to manage it. You are one step closer to having it under control so that you can live your best life!

Are you really how to move forward while feeling depressed?
Let me help, NOW, before it’s too late!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

7 Traits Of Toxic People That You Shouldn’t Ignore

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If you are in a toxic relationship and are looking for personality traits of toxic people to help you manage it, let me help!

We all have them in our life – toxic people.

Whether it ‘ s a boss or a co-worker, a family member or a lover, we all have people in our life who we know only bring us down. And, unfortunately, for many of us, these toxic people bring us down every day.

The best way to avoid, or get rid of, the toxic people in our lives is to know what kind of personality traits they exhibit and to learn how to deal with them.

Fortunately, toxic people are fairly easy to identify, if you know what to look for. Of course, if your person has one or more of these personality traits that doesn ‘ t automatically mean they are toxic but, if you are reading this article I am guessing you are thinking they might be.

#1 – Self centeredness

Many toxic people are totally about themselves.

Everything that happens in the world, the good and the bad, is a reflection on them. They truly believe that they are the center of the universe and that everyone and everything should put their needs second to them.

Because of their self-centeredness, toxic people are simply incapable of reading the feelings of others, of having any concern that they might be causing pain. They have no interest in looking out for the needs of another person and would never put their needs above their own.

I have a client whose partner is as self-centered as they come. He pushes his girl away when he needs ‘ ˜time ‘ and then draws her back in when he wants her. He has done this over and over and she blames herself – if only she was good enough he would stay. But it ‘ s not about her. It ‘ s about him.

My client and I have been working on identifying the self-centeredness of her partner and, with that awareness, that he is incapable of putting someone other than himself first, she is seeing that their relationship problem is on him and not her. And that is giving her the strength to walk away, as all people should do in toxic relationships.

#2 – Insecurity

Many toxic people are paralyzingly insecure. And it is this insecurity that brings about toxicity.

With my same client, her guy had a horrible childhood with his father disappearing and his mother struggling with difficult relationships. He started drinking young, has a hard time staying employed and is chronically unfaithful. I think he knows that he has failed on many levels and it consumes him.

How does this make him toxic? Because of his insecurity, he is quick to blame others for his failings. He lashes out at people who let him down. He finds it hard to believe that anyone could ever love him so he will not commit to loving someone else.

So how do you deal with an insecure person? Again, awareness is an important part of it. And you can ‘ t make someone who is insecure secure by telling them they are wonderful. What you can do is make your person feel safe and help them gain security by helping them find successes. If you can do that, you could help you person manage their insecurity and, therefore, their toxicity.

#3 – Possessiveness

People who are toxic are often very possessive.

People who are possessive don ‘ t like to share their friends or their lovers with other people. They hold on tight to someone who might try to live their own life, sometimes causing those people to become alienated from others.

My client ‘ s partner would push back every time she wanted to go out and spend time with friends. He would make up excuses as to why she had to be with him or he would pretend that he was sick to make her stay home. If those things didn ‘ t work, he would fly into a rage and insist that she stay and not go. More often than not, she complied.

If your person is possessive, a good thing to do at the first sign of it is to talk it through. Your person needs to understand, from the beginning, that you will have your own life and that you will always want to do things on your own.

If you person doesn ‘ t like that, leave them. Immediately!

#4 – Controlling

Toxic people are very often controlling. They insist on managing how their partner acts, what they wear, what they eat, who they hang out with etc.

People’s need to control and their possessiveness are often the result of their insecurities. They believe that if their person is out of their sight they will lose them. As a result, they do whatever they can to control the actions of their partner.

My client ‘ s partner insisted that she always texted him every morning when she woke up, during her coffee break, at lunch, on her way home from work and at bedtime. If she didn ‘ t do so, he would blow up her phone, wondering why she hadn ‘ t reached out.

My client timidly did exactly what her partner wanted her to do. She figured that he did it because he loved her – not because he was trying to control her. Once I pointed out what he was doing she recognized the effect it was having on her and stopped doing what he wanted just to keep the peace.

#5 – Easily angered

People who are toxic are usually very angry. It doesn ‘ t take much to trigger them into a rage. Because they are working so hard to control their world, even the smallest thing can ‘ t set them off.

My client ‘ s partner would often rage at her about the smallest thing. The not texting was just one of many examples. And she lived in constant fear of his anger – it was scary and upsetting. Walking around on eggshells was exhausting.

Anger is one of those personality traits that you can ‘ t do anything about. You can encourage your partner to get help, which they may or may not do. You can also leave them. That might seem scary but getting away from a person with anger issues might be the smartest thing you ever do.

#6 – Meanness

One very significant personality traits of a toxic person is that they are mean. Not just unpleasant but mean.

I had a boss once who was constantly insulting the people who worked for him. He would cut them down at staff meetings, undermine them with the clients, belittle them for shoddy work habits and continually mock the way they dressed. As you can imagine, the work environment was toxic.

So how to you deal with a mean person? Once again, you can quit your job or leave your lover. You can also choose how to manage your reactions to that person. You know that their default reaction is meanness. If you know that, perhaps you can moderate your reaction to them – you can recognize that what they say is more about them then it is about you.

Doing so might mitigate the damage done by their toxic words and action.

#7 – Passive aggressiveness

I believe the most common personality trait of toxic people is passive aggressiveness.

Passive aggressiveness is defined as behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness) ‘

Passive aggressive people don ‘ t come out and say what they mean or what they want. They hint and suggest and they undermine and pry. Whatever they need to do to get you to act in a certain way or do something with directly asking or taking responsibility.

The reason that I believe that passive aggressive people are the most compelling personality trait of toxic people is because passive aggressive people manipulate others to get what they want and that in and of itself is toxic.

So how do you deal with a passive aggressive person? I encourage my clients to talk to their person about their passive aggressive tendencies and to not allow themselves to be manipulated. If they can do that, they might raise awareness in their partner of their manipulative ways and they can work together to change them.

The personality traits of toxic people are ones that are key to notice if you want to be happy in this world.

Toxic people bring us down every day. Not matter how hard we work to make our lives a better place, we have no control over what toxic people bring into our lives.

Having some awareness that toxic people are self-centered, insecure, possessive, controlling, angry, mean and passive aggressive will help you identify those who you want to stay away from and give you some information to manage those who are already in your life.

Life is too short to let your happiness be hampered by toxic people.

5 Important Things to Know About Someone Before You Start Dating Them

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Did you know that there are important things to know about someone before you start dating them that will set you up for relationship success?

I know that it seems very practical and unromantic but knowing some key things is the way to finding lasting happiness.

We all go into our first dates hoping for the best. Hoping that this will be the ONE who will end our lonely days forever.

And with that hope comes an eagerness to get to know someone but it also comes with a reluctance to ask questions.

Why? Because we often don ‘ t want to know the answers.

It ‘ s important to know a few basic facts about someone before you commit to spending more time developing a relationship. Without knowing the facts, you could miss some serious red flags and waste a HUGE amount of time in your search for the ONE.

And we don ‘ t want that.

#1 – Are they married?

Seriously? You need to ask that question and get a straight answer? The answer is a resounding YES!

You would be amazed at how many married people out there want to date other people. Some of them are in open marriages and some of them just want to fool around. Either way you want to know the answer.

If the answer is yes, you need to decide if you want to be involved with a married person. Being involved with a married person brings with it a multitude of issues, most notably making it very difficult for you to find the ONE, no matter what he tells you.

And that is the goal right? Finding the ONE?

#2 – How long have they been single?

Once you know they are single, it ‘ s important to know how long they have been single.

As a general rule of thumb, we experts recommend that you not date someone who has been divorced within the last two years. Divorce wreaks havoc that regular break ups do not and the recovery period is longer. A newly divorced person just won ‘ t be ready for you, in spite of what they might think.

If your potential partner has just gone through a non-marriage break up that could also be a red flag. Someone who is newly out of a relationship could be, consciously or unconsciously, looking for a rebound relationship. You do NOT want to be the rebound person.

Ideally, your prospective mate would be someone who has been single for a period of time, not just because they have had time to recover from a break up but because it ‘ s more likely that they are no longer attached to the person they broke up with.

Nobody wants to date someone who is still holding a torch for someone else, do they?

#3 – Are they employed?

One of the first questions we ask when we meet anyone is ‘ What do you do? ‘ It ‘ s what Americans do. And it can be a tough question to answer, especially in this day and age when people do a variety of things at once.

A more important question is ‘ Are you currently working? ‘

The reasons you want to know the answer to this question? Because you want to know if they are financially and emotionally secure.

Financial security is obvious. No one wants to get involved with someone who can ‘ t carry his or her weight financially. The emotional security is a tougher one.

People who are unemployed are often in a delicate position emotionally. They could be actively seeking work and unable to find any. They could be thinking that the work out there is below them and refuse to compromise. They could have had issues at an old job that continue on into new jobs. All of these situations could lead to insecurity and low self-esteem.

Insecurity and low self-esteem are not things that lend themselves well to a healthy relationship. And DON ‘ T think that you can fix them because you can ‘ t.

So, ask not only ‘ What do you do ‘ but ‘ Where do you do it? ‘

#4 – Do they get along with their family?

Really? Knowing how someone gets along with his or her family is important?

The family is the fundamental relationship of someone ‘ s life and how they interact with that family is important to know.

If your date talks about the close relationship he has with his siblings and that his mother drives him nuts but that he talks to her every Sunday then you know that this person is capable of a healthy emotional connection.

If your date talks about the family that lives across the country who he hasn ‘ t seen in years then it is possible the deep emotional connection might be more difficult for him. Why? Because the basic human connection that we make as children influences who we are as grown ups. And someone who has a rough relationship with his family could be tough to truly connect with.

So, ask the question and listen carefully to the answer.

#5 – Do they have kids?

This one is SO important because kids change everything.

Kids can, more than any other single thing, affect a relationship because kids are, more often than not, THE priority. They will be made the priority above you every single time. Every single time.

And maybe that ‘ s okay with you. Maybe you have kids too and understand the priorities. Or maybe you are willing to make his kids your priority as well.

But maybe it ‘ s not. Maybe you want to always be first or maybe you just aren ‘ t ready to have kids. And that ‘ s okay.

So, ask the question. Because kids will always come first, no matter what you might tell yourself going in.

Dating is time consuming and emotionally fraught and really you don ‘ t want to waste even one minute on someone who raises any red flags at all. Red flags should be noted and acted on.

Make an effort to find out the important things to know about someone before you start dating them. Are they married, do they have a job, do they have kids, do they like their family? These are all things you need to know!

Ask the questions. Get your answers early. Get your answers so you can decide to fish or cut bait right away. Because there are other fish in the sea. Fish who might be better for you. And tastier.

5 Things to Know About Surviving a Break Up

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Have you and your person suddenly ended your relationship? Are you devastated? Are you looking for things to know about surviving a break up?

Surviving a break up is possible. It will be painful and your recovery might not be as quick as you would like it to be but you will recover and life will go on, as good, if not better, than before.

I have written many blogs about things you can do that are key to surviving a break up. Now here are some things that are good to know about surviving a break up – things that might make your recovery just a little bit easier.

#1. Its ok to be sad.

So many of my clients are so very angry at themselves for being sad about a break up.

In our modern times, it’s a weakness to be sad, to cry, to be anything less than strong and self-assured. Unfortunately, there is nothing worse than a broken heart and I don’t know one person in the history of the world who hasn’t felt pain after a breakup.

Furthermore, it’s okay to be sad for more than a few days. Have any of your friends told you to suck it up and get over it? Are you beating yourself for still letting this breakup make you so sad? Well don’t.

Like any traumatic event or illness, getting over a broken heart takes time. Americans absolutely suck at taking their time getting over something. As soon as things are even just a little bit better, we believe that we need to jump up and get back to our lives, fully intact. But it just doesn’t work that way.

Let yourself be sad and let yourself be sad for a while. Don’t wallow but recognize your feelings and let them happen. If you stuff them down it will be even harder to get past them.

#2. Your thoughts can derail you.

Our very worst enemy, even in the best of times, are our brains. Our brains produce pesky thoughts that can drive us down to the darkest place. And, unless we are aware of them, our thoughts can make surviving a break up even more difficult.

One of the most common worries that I hear from my clients is that their person, their broken person who was making their lives miserable, will find someone else and suddenly become perfect. That all of the issues that they struggled with will be magically cured with their new lover.

This just doesn’t happen. People aren’t magically cured when they find love. They might feel like they are cured in the short term but the reality is is that people don’t change unless they do their work. So, don’t let the thought of your ex now being perfect derail your recovery. Even if you see them looking picture perfect on Instagram, know that they will always be who they are, unless they try to change.

Another thing that derails us is that the pain of a break up is so bad that the only thing that can fix it is getting back together. And, of course, getting back together will ease your pain for a day or two but, sooner than later, the pain of the relationship will return and you will be right back where you started.

A third thing that can really mess with your head is believing that you are less of a person because of this break up. That you are a failure and completely unloveable and that you just gave up and should have been stronger. But, really, there were two people in that relationship and if you both weren’t willing to do the work, to give each other what you needed, then it just wasn’t fixable. You couldn’t singlehandedly keep the relationship going.

Pay attention to your thoughts. If nasty ones pop up, push back against them. Question their reality.  Don’t let those pesky thoughts derail all of your hard recovery work.

#3 – Stalking wont be helpful.

One of the things that can completely derail surviving a break up is stalking your ex.

When I was younger the only thing that we could do if a guy broke up with us was to drive around to bars and hang outs and hope that we would see him. Chances were usually slim.

These days, it’s incredibly easy to keep tabs on your ex. Social media is at our fingertips always and the inclination to get a little fix of what we lost can be irresistible.

BUT, let me ask you ““ how do you feel after you stalk your ex? Do you ever feel better? No? Shocking.

Stalking is the worst thing that you can do if you are trying to get over your ex. Recovery gets easier the longer you have no contact with your person and that includes seeing them on social media.

So, resist the urge to snoop. If you have to, unfriend or unfollow your ex. And remember, the person who is posting on Instagram isn’t necessarily sharing a true vision of themselves. How many times have you posted an inspirational quote when you were feeling really shitty?

Yeah, me too.

#4 Don’t play the victim.

When we are broken hearted it’s very easy to take on the role of victim.

We feel like our person did us wrong and that they are horrible people and that we didn’t deserve what we got from them. Perhaps we believe that we weren’t at fault and that the breakup was unwarranted. And, perhaps, all of those things are true.  You still don’t want to play the victim.

Being a victim means giving up your power. Being a victim allows you to wallow in self-pity and not take responsibility for your actions.

A client of mine asked his wife for a divorce. She didn’t want one and refused to participate in any of the divorce proceedings. She didn’t hire a lawyer, didn’t show up in court, refused to negotiate and the judge ultimately declared a default divorce decree.

Where did that leave my client’s wife? Sitting in her house, wallowing in her victimhood having taken no active role in deciding her future. When my husband left me, I stood up for myself, declared myself better off without him and then took him to the cleaners.

I encourage you to take a good look at yourself and assess your self-pity. Are you feeling like a victim? If you are, get up from this article, look in the mirror and decide that no one is going to make you feel like less than you are. No one is going to take away your power.

#5. Know that you will find love someday.

The number one thing I hear from my clients is that they believe that they will never love or be loved again.

They believe that their person was the only one for them, that they could never find someone they could love as much as their ex. Or they believe that they aren’t worth being loved and how could they ever find someone who could love them.

Even more, the thought of dating again fills them with anxiety and fear. How on earth are they going to do that, especially feeling the way they do right now?

Let me PROMISE you that you will find love again. Do you know anyone who has been alone forever? Even if you know someone who has been alone for a while, they haven’t been alone forever. There is someone else out there for them and for you!

So, believe that you will love again. There is someone out there waiting for you to recover from this breakup and when you find each other all of the suffering will have been worth it!

I know that right now you believe that surviving a break up is close to impossible but I promise you it’s not.

If you can keep in mind that it’s ok to be sad, that your thoughts can derail you, that stalking is always bad idea, that you will be loved again some day then your road to recover can be a speedy one.

And, most importantly, don’t play the victim. Don’t let your ex take your power away. Stand up for yourself and remember who you are! Because you are amazing!

Are you really struggling with surviving a break up?
Let me help, NOW, before it gets out of control!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

5 Reasons Why Poor Boundaries In Marriage Are A Recipe For Disaster

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Are you newly married and have you been told that poor boundaries in marriage can be a recipe for disaster?

Do you want to do whatever you can to keep your special bond intact but do you have no idea what marriage boundaries are or where to start?

Fortunately, I have helped many couples establish and stick to boundaries in their marriage so that things don ‘ t go awry. Let me help you!

To understand healthymarriage boundaries look at the four walls of your house. Those walls are the structure that holds your life together. They hold your food and your bed and your possessions and it ‘ s where you live your life.

Healthy marriage boundaries are the same as those four walls of your house. They are the things that support your marriage as it matures. To have a healthy relationship, one that can grow and be fruitful, it is important that it has structures, boundaries, that support it.

Conversely, poor marriage boundaries can make the wall of your house weak and susceptible to damage and destruction. That you don ‘ t want.

Healthy marriage boundaries come in many shapes, sizes and colors. It ‘ s important for each couple to decide what works for them to keep their marriage safe and strong.

Let ‘ s talk about some boundaries and why your marriage could be damaged if they aren ‘ t set up as soon as possible

#1 – Be true to yourself.

For many people, when they are married, they become less of themselves.

Many people, men and women take on their spouse ‘ s friendships, their hobbies and their ways of doing things. And losing yourself in another person is a recipe for disaster.

It is VERY important that all peoplestay themselveswhen in a relationship.

Why? Because every healthy relationship is based on truth and if you are anything other than your true self your marriage will never be really healthy.

It is also important that you continue to respect yourself and you will respect yourself by being yourself. By continuing to have your friends, to do your own hobbies, to have a career that you love and a healthy lifestyle that serves you, you will wake up every day feeling good about yourself.

And when you feel good about yourself your partner will love you even more because he knows you are being your true self, someone who is ambitious and smart and willing to take risks to get what she wants.

So be yourself in your relationship. Ahealthy marriagerequires it.

#2 – Let go of rigidity.

I have a client whose new husband moved into a house that she already owned. Right away they had issues because it was her house and she wanted to do things her way and that just wasn ‘ t okay with him. So, what did they do? They set up boundaries around how things were done, agreeing that each person could have some autonomy around certain things and that each of them might have final say in others.

You know the phrase ‘ My way or the highway? ‘ That phrase has no place in any healthy marriage because there are two people in the relationship and compromise is essential to maintaining balance and satisfaction.

It is important that everyone be flexible in a relationship. Just like you would at work or with your family, it is important to work with your partner so that you can both live a life that is authentic to you.

So, embrace flexibility. Choose the things that are important to you and stay true to them but be willing to see what might be important to your man and work with him so that you both can live a life that makes you happy. Together and apart.

#3 – Maintain mutual respect.

One of the biggest romance killers in a marriage is lack of respect and contempt. It is important that, from the beginning, you agree to always treat each other well.

The saying ‘ ˜familiarity breeds contempt ‘ is an accurate one and something that happens in many marriages over the years.

It is important in every relationship that you each respect each other. Respect each other within the confines of your relationship by speaking to each other honestly, sharing your feelings and needs in an open way. By not attacking each other personally and criticizing each other ‘ s behaviors and actions.

Furthermore, it ‘ s important to not criticize your partner out in the world. The general rule of thumb is that you not tell something about your partner to anyone that you haven ‘ t already shared with your partner.

When I was married, I talked to my friends WAY more about the problems in my marriage than I did to my husband. This didn ‘ t do our relationship any good because we weren ‘ tcommunicatingand giving our relationship a chance to improve. And when we were together I treated my husband with contempt because I no longer respected him.

I am no longer married.

So, make sure you agree early on to treat each other with respect, both inside and outside the relationship.

#4 – Keep the power dynamic even.

In many marriages it happens that at some point one person becomes the one calling the shots. And while this seems to work on one level, ultimately the relationship will become uneven. And when power dynamics are unequal, a marriage can be damaged.

Make an effort to keep the decision making even in your marriage. If you are good at organizing your social life then do that but give him opportunity to choose events. If he is good at managing the finances let him do that but continue to have input into where the money goes and why.

Letting your marriage ‘ s playing field become uneven allows it to slip into a sort of parent/child dynamic, where one person is in charge and the other does as they are told. Does that sound like a healthy relationship to you?

Not so much.

#5 – Spend time apart.

When they are falling in love, couples want to spend every available minute together. The feelings that accompany falling in love are addictive and hard to walk away from even for a short while.

It is important, however, that you spend time apart from the one you love because too much togetherness can lead to neglect- to taking each other for granted, for losing oneself and for alienating close friends and family. None of those things can lead to a happy marriage.

You know the old saying ‘ ˜absence makes the heart grow fonder? ‘ It ‘ s true!

Think about how you feel when you go on a diet. How you can ‘ t eat ice cream for a month while you lose those 5 pounds and, man, do you miss your ice cream. It ‘ s the same thing in a relationship. Stepping away from your partner, even for a bit, makes you both notice the void that is created in his or her absence.

And then the heart grows fonder.

So, spend some time apart. Be yourself. Miss each other. Value each other. Keep that spark alive.

Poor boundaries in marriage can be a recipe for disaster.

Marriages are built by two people who have two separate lives and two separate ways of living. It is important that the couple build a new life together. A new life with four walls that will keep it safe and strong.

So, don ‘ t let one of you be in charge, respect each other, like yourself, spend time apart and be flexible.

At the beginning of your marriage, make it a priority with your partner and build your house from a place of love and beauty and self-confidence, one that will be strong enough to stand the test of time and allow your marriage to be a healthy one.

You can do it!

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must be very worried that poor boundaries in marriage could be a disaster.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before things start to go wrong.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

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