5 Things to Do When Your Spouse is Driving You Crazy

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Ok, so. Is your spouse driving you crazy? Was marriage hard enough before all of this started and are you finding it nigh on impossible now that we are all stuck at home.

You are not alone. Divorce attorneys are reporting higher than average inquiries into divorces and researchers are not expecting a ‘ ˜Covid-19 baby boom. ‘ People are struggling, individually, and even more so, sometimes, in couples.

So, what you can do when your spouse is driving you crazy, both during these crazy times and once things get back to normal?

#1 – Take a time out.

The most important thing to do if your spouse is driving you crazy is to get the hell away from them.

I know, easier said than done these days but it is possible.

Your biggest enemy when your spouse is driving you crazy is proximity. When you are in the same space with someone who is watching TV all day or farting often or slurping their coffee or whatever, unless you get away from them you will most likely explode. And, as I am sure you know from previous experience, exploding doesn ‘ t make anything better.

So, what can you do to take your time out? Ideally, you would be able to go for a walk or a run. Exercise and sunshine are the best medicines when we are feeling angry or stressed out. If it ‘ s possible, get outside and as far away from your spouse as possible.

If you can ‘ t get outside, go into another room. Take a bath. Watch your own TV show. Read a book. Put some distance between the two of you.

If your space is really cramped, headphones can be a lifesaver. Use some to listen to music or a podcast or an audio book or just simply as ear plugs. If you can ‘ t hear your person, more than likely you will no longer be annoyed by them. Out of sight, and hearing, and out of mind.

#2 – Communicate.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Talking to them will just make it worse, right? Yes, it will, if you do it in the moment that your spouse is driving you crazy.

I would suggest that, after you get some space and your frustration and anger dissipates, you talk to your spouse about what is driving you crazy. And I would suggest a certain way to do it so that you are successful.

If him slurping his coffee is driving you nuts, try to tell him that the slurping sound makes you feel irritated. Not so much that you are irritated by him but at the sound of the slurping. Of course, you can ‘ t get mad at the coffee so might it be possible for him to make an effort not to slurp. If the noise is gone, or reduced, you most likely won ‘ t be as irritated.

If you tell your husband that he is driving you crazy by slurping his coffee he will get defensive because you are attacking his actions. Instead, talking about how his actions make you feel is something that he can ‘ t argue with.

Does this make sense? Here is an article that I wrote about effective communication with your spouse.

#3 – Cut them some slack.

One thing my therapist pointed out to me a long time ago is that none of us are perfect. And, of course, we rarely set out to drive each other crazy.

Be honest, do you think that your husband is slurping coffee just to annoy you or is it a longstanding habit that perhaps you used to find endearing?

With that thought in mind, perhaps his actions can bother you less, if you recognize that he isn ‘ t setting out to drive you crazy but that he is a person in the world who isn ‘ t perfect.

I am guessing there are a few things that you do that drive him nuts as well and that you do them because you aren ‘ t perfect either, not to bother him.

So, let your partner off the hook sometimes. It ‘ s way better than getting all worked up.

#4 – Consider what is really going on.

I know that I used to snap at my ex-husband A LOT. Of course, some of it was because he was driving me crazy but, more often than not, there was something else going on.

I remember lots of snapping when we were trying to get the kids out the door or get them into bed or managing how to get to a family event or some other mundane but incredibly frustrating daily activity.

So, when your spouse is driving you crazy, take a moment and consider if it is actually them irritating you or if there is something else going on. It could be work or a body ache or your mother or any other myriad of things. If you can stop yourself before you get to frustrated then the damage to your marriage might be minimal.

#5 – Get physical.

One of the hardest things to do when your spouse is driving you crazy is to touch them but it is the best thing that you can do to fix it. A hug can be better than a thousand words.

I am not saying that you have to go over and hug your spouse when they are driving you crazy but I would encourage you to do so when you have done the above steps and settled down.

Physical contact is incredibly important to keep couples connected. For many married couples, sex gets complicated the longer the marriage goes on and, as a result, physical contact can also be curtailed because everyone is insecure about what that physical touch might mean.

So, putting aside sex, make an effort to hug your spouse for 10 seconds at least once a day. They say that a 10 second hug can make a huge difference in connection between couples.

Try hugging. Even if it feels kind of weird and unnatural, try it. It could make a huge difference.

Even outside of times of crisis, when your spouse is driving you crazy life can be unpleasant.

Of course, you can sink into the anger and resentment that happens in marriage because of unresolved issues or you can try a few simple steps to try to repair things.

Take some time away to calm yourself down, make an effort to talk to your spouse about how you are feeling, recognize that they are only human and that perhaps they have something internal happening and reach out and touch them.

Your spouse is someone who you committed to love forever, in good times and in bad. Try to manage those moments in time when your spouse is driving you crazy and you are way more likely to live happily ever after!

You can do it! I promise.

 

If you have made this far your spouse must be really driving you crazy

Let me help you, NOW, before it overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order? 5 Ways to Ride it Out.

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Oh my gosh, so many people I know are feeling depressed during the stay at home order.

Our lives are so different now. The things we used to take for granted – restaurants, massages, hanging out with friends, taking road trips, even going to the doctor – are all missing from our lives right now, leaving what feels like nothing. We are feeling empty and lonely and bored, among other things.

Unfortunately, many of those emotions can lead to feeling depressed. For many of us, feeling depressed before the coronavirus was a daily reality but for those of you who haven ‘ t struggled with it before it can be especially hard to manage.

Let me give you a few tips, from someone who has lived with depression for years, for how to best ride out feeling depressed during the stay at home order.

#1 – Focus on what you do have.

Are you spending much of your day thinking about all of the things that you usually have in your life? Work, friends, sex, dating, the gym, Starbucks? All of those things have been important, and taken for granted, parts of our lives and their absence can be devastating.

Would it be possible for you, instead, to focus on what you do have?

I was talking to a friend of mine whose husband died last year and I mentioned that my boyfriend and I aren ‘ t as physical these days. She said ‘ ˜Don ‘ t take each other for granted. I haven ‘ t been touched in 3 weeks. ‘ That gave me pause and I went and hugged my boyfriend.

I learned a big lesson from her, to appreciate what I do have. Can you take stock of what you do have? Do you have a roof over your head, a job, friends to keep in touch with, free time to watch some TV that you haven ‘ t been able to watch? Do you have a pet who will give you love, the ability to get outside into the woods, more family time then you have had for years?

All of those things are important to take stock of. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner) our lives will go back to (somewhat) normal and we might not ever have the life that we have now again.

So, take a moment and take stock of what you have. It might help you feeling depressed during the stay at home order in a big way.

#2 – Have hope.

One of the hallmarks of depression is hopelessness. And it ‘ s hard to not feel hopeless these days. We are dealing with a normal that we have never had to deal with before, with no easy end in sight, and it ‘ s hard to believe that we could ever be happy again.

I am here to tell you, however, that this will end. The life that we are living right now, socially isolated, wearing masks, staying 6 feet away from each other, not traveling and being generally afraid, won ‘ t last forever.

Yes, it might take a while for our lives to go back to the way they were before but they will go back. And when they do, our lives will go on. We will date and go to Starbucks and fight with our families at Thanksgiving and soon forget that this was even part of our reality in early 2020.

So, have hope. This will not be your life forever. I promise.

#3 – Get some Vitamin D.

When people visit the doctor about feeling depressed one of the first things that is done is a test for Vitamin D levels. Low levels of Vitamin D are found in many people who are feeling depressed and, for many, a Vitamin D supplement can make all of the difference.

Another way to get Vitamin D is to get out into the sunshine. I think that, because our outside time has been limited, many of us have low Vitamin D levels and that is causing some (or all) of our depression. So, try to get outside and get some sunshine.

If you can ‘ t get outside, there are natural light lamps for sale that do an excellent job imitating the beneficial aspects of the sun. They are inexpensive and you can put one on your breakfast table and get a Vitamin D dose right then and there.

So, if you are feeling depressed, get yourself some more Vitamin D, however you can, and see if it helps!

#4 – Distract yourself.

Unfortunately, when we are depressed, one of our worst enemies is our brain.

When we are feeling depressed, more often than not our brains get caught in this cycle of negative thoughts. We think about how horrible our life is, what losers we are, how our parents neglected us, how we have no friends. These kind of thoughts go around and around in our brain and sink us down deeper into depression.

One of the best tools against depression is to distract that brain of yours. Watching a movie or binging on TV, reading a book, talking to a friend, listening to music, having sex, all of these things will stop that brain of yours from doing the negative circle dance and give you a break. And, even if the break is just for a short time, it will be a break. Just like taking a break when you are climbing a mountain, that mind break will help you manage your depression before it sucks you dry.

#5 – Get some help.

One of the most important parts of managing depression is to know when you need to get some help.

If you were depressed before all of this started and you find yourself sinking deeper into it, it might be time to call your doctor. Doctors are doing video consultations so perhaps you should call yours and tell them what is going on.

If feeling depressed is new for you, try to do some of the items above and see if they help. If you find that you aren ‘ t getting better, contacting your doctor would be a good idea. They might be able to give you additional support to get you through these times.

Depression can take its toll if it is left unmanaged. Don ‘ t let your depression take over your life. Make sure that you get some help if you need some.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order is something that is way more prevalent than anyone of us would like.

Fortunately, there are ways to manage it. Take stock of what you do have, know and believe that this crisis will end, get some Vitamin D and keep that mind of yours busy.

Most importantly, if you find that your depression is getting worse, that you find that you can ‘ t get out of bed and that you are full of hopelessness and despair, call your doctor. Get some help. This is very, very important.

Feeling depressed during the stay at home order is not abnormal. Be soft on yourself. Manage it. We can all get through this. Together, and apart.

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with feeling depressed during the stay home order.

Let me help you, NOW, before it gets worse.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

5 Reasons Why Your Dating Anxiety is on HIGH During Social Distancing

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If there is one consistent theme in the sessions I am having with my clients is that their dating anxiety has been ramped up to HIGH during this period of coronavirus and social distancing.

Dating is hard enough. Dating at a distance takes it to a whole different level.

Let me explain why.

#1 – How do you follow your gut?

In my experience, I have found that one of the most difficult things about online dating is that, until you actually come face to face with someone, it ‘ s hard to really know how you feel about them.

When I was dating, before I knew better, I would spend weeks talking to someone I connected with online. And, as time went on, I found myself become attached to them. And then, when I met them, the attraction just wasn ‘ t there.

I hated that. I had really liked this person before we talked and, for whatever reason, once we met, I just didn ‘ t feel it.

That is the theme around dating right now. Unless you met your person before this all started, you don ‘ t really know them and can ‘ t go with your gut.

On the other hand, I have a client who went on one date with a guy right before the lockdown. They really liked each other but haven ‘ t seen each other since because of the social distancing. As a result, she is starting to question whether she did really like him. She still talks to him but without the face to face she is having a hard time connecting the way she did initially.

#2 – It ‘ s all weird.

No matter if you are 25 or 55, you have most likely been on a date before. It usually includes meeting up for a drink or a dinner, small talk, perhaps a walk, or a movie. If things go well, you make plans to do it again. And, hopefully, again.

These days, dating has been turned on its head. The things that we have always done we can ‘ t do anymore. As a result, the actual process of dating has become uncomfortable. As if dating wasn ‘ t difficult enough.

Not only do we need to deal with getting to know someone but we also need to create new ways of doing so. Facetime movies and drinks, walks in the part 6 feet apart, maybe binge watching a show together. And, the hardest of all, trying to find something to talk about that ‘ s not the coronavirus.

So, if your dating anxiety is high, the uncomfortableness of the new normal of dating could be why.

#3 – Hopelessness.

A client of mine is talking to a number of guys, none of whom she has met yet. And while talking to them helps pass the time, she often says to me ‘ ˜what ‘ s the point? ‘

For many of us right now, we just don ‘ t know what the future looks like. We don ‘ t know when and how this craziness will end and, if it does, what life afterwards will look like. Will we have jobs, money, our health, our families and friends? We just don ‘ t know.

That not knowing what the future looks like makes it really hard to imagine having a future with someone. How can you picture and work towards happily ever after with someone if you don ‘ t know if there is even going to be an ever after?

For many people, hopelessness in life and love equals dating anxiety. It ‘ s even worse right now.

#4 – Emotions are running high.

For one of my clients, she said the biggest challenge for her is to ‘ ˜contain the crazy. ‘ I love that phrase.

We are all, to some degree or another, very emotional. When we first start dating we try to contain that emotion somewhat so that we don ‘ t scare our person away. I am not saying we aren ‘ t ourselves but that we do try to not let our emotions get the best of us.

In this day and age, all of our emotions are running high. With the news and the lack of social interaction, the boredom and the monotony, many people are living on the edge of insanity. When we are dating, the edge of insanity is not a good place to be.

For one of my clients, a man she had just started talking with is normally a clinically depressed person. He has been treated for it and generally has it under control. Right now, however, he is really depressed and is having a v

ery difficult time managing it. My client feels badly but she knows that she doesn ‘ t want to be in a relationship with this guy the way he is.

In regular times, this man ‘ s depression might not have reared its ugly head so quickly and so dramatically and my client might have gotten to know him and love him and understand that depression is just part of who he is.

#5 – Looking for commitment.

One of the most interesting things that I am seeing happening right now is that many people who are newly dating are looking for a commitment unnaturally early.

For those people who are social distancing alone, not having a partner can be especially painful. The idea that everyone else is out there quarantining with their person while they are alone, alone, alone is just too much. As a result, they seek to create a committed relationship out of something that isn ‘ t there yet.

I have a client who has been talking to a guy for about a month. They talk on the phone daily and they have sat at least 6 feet from each other 3 times but that is it. They haven ‘ t touched, they haven ‘ t gone out in public, they haven ‘ t met each other ‘ s friends.

This morning, this guy asked my client if she would go off the dating apps, that he wants them to be in a committed relationship and that she needs to stop talking to her old boyfriend. She said ‘ ˜Wait, what? ‘

In the normal world, this whole scenario most likely would never have happened.

The human need to be coupled up is a significant one and especially during these difficult times. That need to connect is a big reason why dating anxiety is so prevalent and so extreme right now.

Dating is hard and dating anxiety has always a part of it but, because of coronavirus and social distancing, that anxiety is going through the roof for many people.

The new normal of dating and not knowing the future is so uncomfortable, it ‘ s hard to follow your gut, to control emotions that are running high and manage the politics of being single make what has always been a thing fraught with stuff, something even harder.

I know that it ‘ s hard but I would encourage you to take stock of what I have said and persevere nonetheless. This WILL be over someday and when it is, wouldn ‘ t it be nice to find love again for the summer?

You can do it!

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with dating anxiety.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before you topple over the edge.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

How Defining Relationship Expectations Can Keep Yours Healthy

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As we are all learning, relationships can be sorely tested by the stay at home measures being recommended during this coronavirus pandemic. What I know, however, is that defining relationship expectations NOW can keep relationships healthy and can possibly help mend damaged ones and help move them forward stronger than ever.

In these modern days, establishing expectations at work is something that is done as a matter of course but, unfortunately, establishing relationship expectations is not so common. Why, I don ‘ t know, because not having expectations around anything is a recipe for things to go awry.

So why does defining relationship expectations make such a difference, especially in these scary times?

#1 – Everyone knows what to expect.

One of the key reasons why defining relationship expectations now are so important is that everyone knows what to expect.

Think about work – when you start a project the first thing that is laid out is the participation expectations of everyone on the team. That way, as the project moves forward, everyone knows what their role is which, in turn, ensures that the project will be a success.

In a relationship, things work the same way. If you both can define what your expectations are then your relationship has a better chance of staying healthy.

In my relationship our expectations are as follows:

*I will decide what we are going to eat and I will cook and he will do the dishes, preferable right after dinner but that is negotiable.

*We will take a walk together every day, no excuses.

*I won ‘ t blurt out horrible things that I read in the news without his permission.

*He gets 2 hours in the garage daily to putter.

*I get a footrub 4 nights a week.

These are the things that are most important to us and that we both expect from our relationship. Imagine if we didn ‘ t understand each other ‘ s expectations, if he didn ‘ t do the dishes and I just blurted out horrible news. How quickly would we get upset with each other? How quickly would our nerves begin to fray?So, take the time and talk to your partner about your expectations, both around the coronavirus and big picture. It will be worth it, I promise.

#2 – You can start with honesty.

Every healthy relationship is built on honesty and defining expectations is an important part of being honest.

A client of mine is full of resentment around what her husband does and doesn ‘ t do around the house. The problem is, she has never told him what she wants him to do – she just expects that he will figure it out. As a result, she passive aggressively nudges him to do what she wants him to do. And it pisses him off that she isn ‘ t direct and that makes it more likely that he won ‘ t get it done.

He tells me that if she were just honest with him about what she wanted done, and he was able to be honest with her about what he could do, they would be able to navigate all of this much better and eliminate the underlining tension that always exists in their household.

So, be honest with your partner about what you want so that you can include it in your expectations. Even if your partner isn ‘ t sure he can meet the expectation, you have put it out there honestly so that you can discuss it.

#3 – You can better manage disagreements.

Let ‘ s say that my boyfriend fails to do the dishes after agreeing that that was my expectation. Now imagine my client ‘ s husband failing to do the dishes because he doesn ‘ t know that he is expected to do them.

Now picture whose argument around the dishes would be loudest and longest? If my boyfriend knowingly didn ‘ t do the dishes it would be hard for him to argue that I was being unreasonable and difficult. He would, hopefully, acknowledge that he dropped the ball and we would move on with our day.

The fight that would ensue, or the extended simmering anger, if my client ‘ s husband didn ‘ t do the dishes would be something that would not be easily managed. That she didn ‘ t ask for what she wanted and he didn ‘ t do it on his own would just lead to disagreement that has probably happened before. A disagreement that will never be settled and would lead to more issues down the road.

#4 – You can celebrate when things go right.

One of the nicest things about setting expectations is that, when they are met, we have an opportunity to thank each other and celebrate. Because these expectations are met, we know when our needs are being honored and that makes us feel happier and more secure in our relationship.

When my boyfriend gets to have his 2 hours in the garage, even if I wanted him to help me in the garden, he is a happy camper. He not only gets his time on his own but that he gets to do so makes him love me even more. And when he is that happy, my footrubs are much longer.

So, while setting expectations can be difficult at first, when they are stuck to, good things can be the result.

#5 – You can be hopeful.

People say that divorce attorneys are experiencing higher than normal inquiries into their services.

Couples who were previously able to ignore their marital issues because the busyness of their lives are now unable to do so. As a result, problems that were long simmering are rearing their ugly heads.

Imagine if you and your partner were able to sit down and define what you both wanted during this extended period together. Imagine if, instead of resenting each other for the things that haven ‘ t been done, you are honest with each other about what you need and you are so happy when those needs are met. Imagine how that would serve to not only heal a relationship but also to give it hope for the future.

I know that for years, my biggest resentment around my ex-husband was that he started projects that he never finished. Our garage was filled with Home Depot bags full of parts that were never actually used. I so wish that I had, even once, spoken up around my struggles with all of those Home Depot bags. If I had asked him directly to finish a project before he started another one, who knows, it might have saved my marriage.

I would encourage you, in this time of isolation, to work on sharing what you both want in a relationship and see if you can work together to give each other those things. If you can do this, instead of repeating old patterns that are tearing you apart, something really good could come from this current crisis – a relationship strong and healthy and a family intact.

Defining relationship expectations can seem kind of contrived and unromantic but doing so can make a huge difference in a couple ‘ s happiness.

But setting expectations, ones that you both are aware of and have agreed to, can go a long way towards healing a damaged relationship and preventing a healthy one from getting damaged.

So be honest, stop the fighting, celebrate taking care of each other and be hopeful for the future.

I know it might seem daunting but you can do it!

If you have made this far you must really want to break up proof your relationship

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it’s too late.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Why Letting Go Of Love That Hurts May Be Painful But Necessary

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Are you really struggling with a toxic relationship and wondering if letting go of love that hurts might be the right thing to do?

Does the thought of ending it fill you with pain and despair because you know how hard it will be to break away from your person? Are you worried that if you leave this person you will never love or be loved again?

Unfortunately, it is these two thoughts that keep people in relationships that are painful and toxic. I am here to tell you that getting out of them, while it might be painful, is the best chance that you have at happiness.

How? Let me share.

#1 – Toxic relationships are distracting.

A big reason why letting go of love that hurts is essential for a good life is that being in a toxic relationship can make it hard to focus at work and in life.

How much time do you think about your relationship? Do you find it hard to concentrate at work because you are replaying the fight you had over the weekend?

Do you find yourself sitting in your car, wondering what would be next for you if you left your person, only to find that twenty minutes has passed and you had no idea?

Is getting dinner and helping with homework more than you can handle somedays because you are so preoccupied with the pain you are in?

Being in a toxic relationship can make it impossible to be present in your everyday life. Letting go of love that hurts is exactly what you need to do before obsessing about it gets in the way of your job or your kids ‘ mental health.

#2 – You are not healthy.

In many ways, being in a toxic relationship is worse than pneumonia or the flu.

When you are deeply unhappy, your health will deteriorate. Your obsessive thoughts might keep you up nights and you might not be sleeping well. Depression might be preventing you from getting outside and interacting with friends. You might be eating too much, or too little, not nourishing your body the way you should.

If you are in a toxic relationship, one that is causing you nothing but pain, letting go of love that hurts might be exactly what you need to regain your health.

Imagine spending the rest of your life living with this unhealthy behavior? Can you imagine how that would feel? Not so good I am guessing.

#3 – True love will be elusive.

If you are wasting your time staying in a toxic relationship because you fear the hurt that you will feel, or the hurt that you will cause another person, know that staying in this relationship will guarantee that you will never find the person who will love you truly.

If every moment of your day is spent obsessing about how unhappy you are or how much you want out of this relationship, you will have no energy to put out to the world to attract happiness. Instead, you will attract nothing but darkness because like attracts like.

And, obviously, if you are in a relationship, the chances of you finding another relationship are virtually zero.

Letting go of love that hurts might be painful in the moment, and maybe for a few moments, but if you can get away from this toxic relationship you have a much better chance of finding the love that you want and deserve.

#4 – It will be good for your person.

I remember when I was married and I was brutally unhappy, whenever I considered leaving my husband part of what I considered was that it would be better for him if we were apart.

I knew that he was as unhappy as I was and I knew that if I could let him go he would have a chance at true happiness. Me letting him go would be the best thing for him.

I couldn ‘ t do it, however, because the thought of him with someone else filled me with too much pain.

But think about your person. You loved them once and might love them still. Would the best thing for them to be out of this never-ending toxicity and be given a chance to be happy? Even if it ‘ s painful for you, might it be the right thing for them?

Think about it.

#5 – You will get to know yourself again.

One of the best things of letting go of love that hurts is that, in doing so, you will get to know and love yourself again.

For many of us who have been in toxic relationships, whether short or long, we often lose a piece of ourselves.

I was in a relationship with a man for about a year. We loved each other very much but our relationship was fraught with issues. I wanted to end it but he wouldn ‘ t let me go so I kept on coming back to him, even if I knew it wasn ‘ t good for me.

At the end of the year, I found that I was a shell of the person I was when we met. A year of not taking care of myself, of being consumed with someone who wasn ‘ t treating me well, of having my needs ignored and debasing myself by staying had rendered me someone I couldn ‘ t even recognize.

When I finally got the nerve to leave him, and stay away from him, for good, I was finally able to get to know myself again. To remember that I was the kind of person who had a lot to give to the world and that there were a lot of people who loved me. I had forgotten about that person and I was so glad to have her back.

Do you know who you are today? Wouldn ‘ t you love to get to know, and love, yourself again?

Letting go of love that hurts can be one of the hardest things that you can do.

Loving someone means you give your heart and your hope for the future over to another person. Unfortunately, love isn ‘ t perfect and sometimes relationships just aren ‘ t meant to be.

If your relationship is making you unhappy, it ‘ s time to walk away. If you do, you will get healthier, you will be able to focus again and you will get to know yourself. Your person will be happier and you will be able to finally find true love.

How great would that be?

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with letting go of love that hurts.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it’s too late!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

5 Things to Know About Surviving Internet Infidelity

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Have you recently (or not so recently) discovered that your partner is having an affair online and are looking to understand if and how surviving internet infidelity is possible?

Are you wondering if internet infidelity is worse than in person?

Internet infidelity is a relatively new phenomenon. The degrees of online infidelity range from simply consistent chatting with someone to regular, intense intimate sharing. Both of them can be considered infidelity.

It ‘ s important that you examine your feelings around what has occurred to decide how you feel about what your partner has done. Can you ever trust them again? Can you forgive them but not forgive? Is what happened beyond redemption, do you think?

Once you know how you feel, you can decide whether you want to stay in this relationship or go.

And, either way, you need to start working on surviving internet infidelity so it doesn ‘ t destroy you.

#1 – Let go of self-blame.

Do you blame yourself that your partner strayed? Do you think that if you had only been nicer or funnier or skinnier or had more sex with them that they wouldn ‘ t have cheated on you?

Do you chide yourself for being so clueless that you didn ‘ t see the signs, that you missed the fact that your partner was stepping out on you?

Let me tell you, your partner ‘ s infidelity is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Infidelity happens for many reasons but it doesn ‘ t happen because of things that you didn ‘ t do. More often than not, infidelity is something that happens not because someone seeks it out but because two people meet and there is an attraction that proves irresistible.

Blame is a double-edged sword but if anyone must be blamed it ‘ s those who couldn ‘ t resist, who proved weak in the face of temptation and who lied to you over and over.

I know it ‘ s hard but work hard to not blame yourself because you are not to blame.

#2 – Accept your feelings.

Do you find yourself struggling with a wide range of emotions?

Do you find yourself crying one minute, raging another, way too happy and then back to the tears? Do you find yourself sitting in the car looking out the window only to realize that an hour has passed?

People whose partner have strayed struggle with unstable emotions and disorientation. The pain that has been caused them is so extreme that it can render their emotions uncontrollable. Because of the power of these emotions, our brain can get overwhelmed and disorientation is the result.

Time will help with emotions that are out of control – they are strongest right after the pain is caused but they dissipate as time goes on. Often times, without help, they don ‘ t go away completely but they can, at the very least, be managed. And when managed, the disorientation will be resolved.

For now, have awareness that the wide range of emotions that you are struggling with are completely natural. Chiding yourself for feeling them, for not staying calm, for being angry with life and at the same so very sad will only make the emotions worse. Furthermore, not pushing the feelings down but letting yourself feel them and letting them go is the best way to work through them in a productive way.

Accepting and feeling your emotions as a part of the healing process will allow them to help you do that – heal.

#3 – Manage those intrusive thoughts.

Do you find yourself obsessing over and over with the images of your partner committing infidelity? Do you regularly chide yourself for missing the signs? Do you question your self-worth and wonder if you are worthy of love? Do you spend more time in your head than you do in the now, living your life?

Unfortunately, our powerful brain – the thing that distinguishes us from every other animal in the world – can also be our worst enemy. Our brain loves to run negative tapes over and over, tapes that serve to reinforce all of the bad thoughts that we have about ourselves, our loved one and our lives.

These negative thoughts don ‘ t serve us in any way and can actually make healing more difficult.

There are ways to deal with these intrusive thoughts. The first it to start having awareness that the thoughts are just that, intrusive and not necessarily productive. Next, accept that the thoughts are not serving you but that they should not be chased away. Let these thoughts float through your head and don ‘ t try to analyze them or give them any power. And then let them go.

It ‘ s also important to remember that the thoughts will probably come back and that you will have to practice this awareness over and over. Ultimately, with time, those intrusive thoughts will dissipate.

Another useful tool for reducing the power of intrusive thought is by doing something that will occupy your brain. Yoga and meditation are excellent tools for managing intrusive thoughts but reading, TV and sleep also work. Whatever you can do to give yourself a break from those thoughts, even for a little while, will help you manage them and reduce their effect on you.

#4 – Work to trust again.

Many people who are trying to understand surviving online infidelity find that they have developed significant trust issues.

When the person who we love the most, on whom we have put all of our hopes and dreams, who we trust more than anyone else, betrays us then our place in the world is profoundly affected. Instead of believing in the best in people we are instead left believing that people are ultimately evil and that trusting ourselves and our emotions to anyone will only cause us pain.

It is important, when your partner has been unfaithful, that you spend as much time as possible with those who love you and those you can trust. One person has betrayed your trust, not everyone, and being reminded of that regularly will help restore your faith in people.

With time, and help, you will learn that trusting people is possible and that even that person who betrayed your trust might be worthy of it again.

#5 – Know that you will be okay.

Are you struggling with the belief that nothing will ever be the same again? That happiness will be forever out of reach, that you will never love again and that life can not possibly go on? Are you feeling completely hopeless by the prospect of your future?

It is important that you understand the nature of hopelessness around online infidelity. For many people, their partners cheating can lead to depression and, when we are depressed, the belief that anything will ever be okay again is inconceivable. When we are depressed we are simply incapable of believing that life will get better.

But, let me promise you that, with time and treatment, the feeling of depression and hopelessness will fade. Life does go on, you will love again and that happiness will once again be yours.

Again, spending time with people who love you is an excellent way to manage the hopelessness. You might not believe them in the moment but having people remind you that you will get through this and that life will go on is an essential part of the healing process.

Surviving online infidelity is definitely possible. People do it every day.

What has happened to you has been traumatic and you fear for your future but, with awareness and acceptance, you can move forward and be happy again.

If you are blaming yourself, work hard to let that go. If your thoughts and your emotions are swinging back and forth, know that they are there and that they are causing trouble. Feel them and let them go. Spend time with people you love and trust to learn that you can trust again. And believe in your future.

If you find that you can ‘ t manage your feelings around this and that you aren ‘ t surviving online infidelity in a healthy way, considering consulting a therapist or a life coach. Sometimes professional help is important to get through trauma like this.

Know that time is the ultimate healer. I know it ‘ s hard to believe it now but, as time goes on, you will feel better. Life will be worth living again. The pain might not be gone but it will be less and it will be manageable.

For now, keep your head up, believe that the future is there, accept where you are right now and get some help.

You will get through this, I promise. You will love and be loved again.

 

Do youwantto know more about surviving online infidelity?
Let me help you, NOW, before it ‘ s too late!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

5 Reasons Why You Should Set Boundaries In An Abusive Marriage Now

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Does your spouse abuse you emotionally and/or physically? Do you spend most days living with fear and shame and self-loathing? If yes, it ‘ s time to set boundaries in an abusive marriage before it kills you.

For many people who are in an abusive marriage, getting out right now just isn ‘ t an option. Whether its financial considerations, concerns for yourself or your children, geographical issues or sheer terror, the need to stay in place is necessary.

If you are in this place, it is essential to set boundaries in an abusive marriage now so that you can survive, and maybe even thrive, as you live through it.

What kind of boundaries? Let me share!

#1 – Take care of yourself.

It essential that, if you are being emotionally or physically abused, you make an effort to take care of yourself.

We all need affection and loving touch and if you aren ‘ t getting love from your spouse, it is important that you love yourself. Loving yourself, and believing that you are worthy, is very hard to do when you are constantly being demeaned so demonstrating to yourself that you are loved is very important.

What makes you feel loved? A hot bath? Time with your girlfriends? A ‘ ˜Real Housewives ‘ binge? A massage?

Take an accounting of what you could do to make yourself feel loved and pampered. If you can do this, you will be able to stay in touch with the fact that you deserve to be loved and cared for, even if the person in your life isn ‘ t making you feel that way.

#2 – Spend time with those who love you.

If you find yourself in the middle of a lot of anger and insults every day, it is important that you make sure that you spend time with people who love you.

Much like the self-love I described before, being surrounded by people who love you just the way you are is an important part of surviving an abusive relationship.

They will remind you that you are a wonderful person, deserving of love and affection. They will remind you that what is happening isn ‘ t your fault. They will remind you that you have strength, strength to survive this and get through it. They will remind you that there is a life worth living out there.

So, make sure that you reach out to friends and family as much as possible. If your partner makes it difficult for you, make it a priority to make it happen whenever you can, even if just for a short period.

Do it! You will be glad you did!

#3 – Don ‘ t blame yourself.

Many of my clients who are in abusive relationships blame themselves for the abuse that is being showered down upon them.

Their abuser is forever telling them that what is happening is all their fault, that if they just did this or that differently their partner wouldn ‘ t be forced to discipline them. They tip toe around, hoping to not get noticed or blamed. And this is not okay.

It is important to understand that the abuse that is happening to you is not your fault. Yes, we are all humans and we make mistakes, but no one deserves to be abused, no matter what they might do or say.

Most abusers have something that has caused them damage in their life and that leads them to abuse others. Some kind of trauma or abuse that has led them to do the same to you.

The reason that it’s essential to set boundaries in an abusive relationship is so that you don ‘ t lose touch with who you are. Learning how to not blame yourself is a key part of keeping in touch with that person and not letting the abuse tear you down completely.

#4 – Believe that this isn ‘ t forever.

I know that right now it feels like you will be in this place forever, that the abuse that is rained down on you daily is something that will always be a part of your life.

But it doesn ‘ t have to be that way.

Yes, you might be stuck in this relationship now, for whatever reason, but it doesn ‘ t have to be this way forever.

When you are ready, there are ways to get out. When the kids are gone or when the money isn ‘ t so tight or when you have the outside support you need, you will be able to escape this abusive relationship and get on with your life.

Believing that this will be your one and only life will make it very difficult to move forward, to not let yourself sink into feelings of hopelessness and despair.

There is hope and help out there that can enable you lead a happy and fulfilling life, when you are ready and able.

#5 – Get help.

If you are feeling the need to set boundaries in an abusive marriage, I am guessing that things are going from bad to worse and that you know that if you don ‘ t set some kind of boundaries you might die, or worse.

If you are in this place, please try to get help. There are all sorts of people out there who can help you get through, and out of, an abusive relationship.

If you are struggling with depression, reach out to your primary care doctor to give you an anti-depressant. Just being a little bit less depressed might motivate you to get out. Talk to your therapist about where you can seek help to get you through this time. Ask your life coach about coping mechanisms. Look for support groups in your area.

If you are going through an abusive relationship, you are not alone. There are many trained professionals who can help you get through this relationship intact. There are also many people who are in, or were in, abusive relationships. Connecting with them will help you develop relationships with people who have shared experiences, people who can help you with understanding what is happening to you and to teach you coping skills for getting through it.

You don ‘ t have to go this alone, so don ‘ t!

Learning how to set boundaries in an abusive marriage is the key to surviving it.

Perhaps you can ‘ t get out of the relationship now but you can learn how to take care of yourself, to draw the line in the sand so that you can keep yourself as healthy as you can to ride this out.

Take care of yourself, don ‘ t blame yourself, spend with others, look to the future and get some help.

Abusive relationships are devastating and, to survive them, you must take care of yourself. You can do it!

 

If you have made this far you must really be struggling in an abusive marriage.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it ‘ s too late!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

5 Red Flags to Look for if Your Relationship Seems Too Good to Be True

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Are you wondering if your relationship is too good to be true?

Are you the kind of person who often finds themselves in super intense relationships, ones where it feels like the sky is the limit and that you will be happy forever, only to find yourself left broken hearted and alone?

Have you been left by someone who is overwhelmed by your behavior or have you left someone you loved because your relationship isn ‘ t meeting your needs?

Ironically, sometimes relationships that are the most intense are the ones that leave us most open to the risk of being hurt. And the relationships that are intense are the ones that are hardest to resist because the passion is so compelling.

Luckily, there are ways to identify people who might seem to be THE one but who might be a risky choice for a long-term relationship.

Below are some red flags that are easy to spot. Knowing them will help you make conscious choices.

#1 – They are impulsive.

People who are impulsive are people who act on their gut. Their mind usually ignores what logic is screaming at them and they do what they want when they want to.

An impulsive person might look at you across the room, decide that you are the one for them and make you fall madly in love with them. An impulsive person could introduce you to their kids and parents after knowing you for just a week. An impulsive person could whisk you away on a romantic island vacation, promising that it will be the first of many.

And an impulsive person could see a person on the beach next to them on said romantic island and decide that that person is the one for them. And leave you.

Being with an impulsive person can be really fun. The living moment to moment, never knowing what is on the horizon and enjoying what comes when it does. The falling in love quickly and making mad love for days. It ‘ s all very exciting and, most likely, very temporary.

So, watch out for someone who is impulsive. Look instead for someone who is more thoughtful and deliberate in their approach to love. Thoughtful and deliberate people can be passionate too and the passion might even last!

#2 – They are WAY into sex.

At the beginning of a relationship, being with someone who is interested in lots of sex is exciting. The dopamine rush that occurs when wrapped around your person as they make you feel loved and wanted is intoxicating. As time goes on, the need for sex subsides somewhat, as you settle into a comfortable relationship.

Unfortunately, there are some people who need to have sex constantly. The reasons for this are varied but they are real. And, the person who need constant sex is most usually the kind of person who will need to move on and find someone else to fill their needs. Or, even worse, they will stay with you and seek sex elsewhere anyway.

So, pay attention to your person at the beginning of your relationship. How do they feel about sex? Do they seem obsessed or do they need to do things that might be out of the ordinary? Do you find that you can ‘ t always reach them and do you wonder if they might be with someone else?

If you are with this kind of person and are trying to make a relationship out of it, you are taking a big risk. Know that your person most likely won’t be able to change their ways and your heart will be at risk of being shattered.

#3 – They are self-centered.

We have all been in relationships with people who are self-centered. We have all been in relationships with people who are so much about themselves but, in the beginning, it appears that they are all about you.

People who are self-centered believe that the world revolves around them and, while they seem to do things for your pleasure, they are really doing it for their own.

At first, a self-centered person will look at you with big love and make love to you passionately. You will feel like the center of universe, until you aren ‘ t. Until you realize that your person is doing what they are doing for you for their own self-satisfaction, to meet their own selfish needs to feel good about themselves.

A self-centered person will fight you tooth and nail if you try to point this out to them because they know that if they lose you they will feel pain and they don’t want that. When you do fight, after they will make passionate love to you, to make themselves feel better.

So, stay away from people who believe that the world revolves around them. It might seem wonderful at first but, before long, you will see that it ‘ s all about them and nothing about you.

#4 – They run hot and cold.

I have a client who is in love with a man who does, from what I can tell, love her back. More often and not, however, you wouldn ‘ t know it.

Some days he calls her over and over, asking how she is and telling her he misses her. And then he disappears for weeks only to reappear and pay attention to her. He tells her how excited he is to see her and then yells at her for being so demanding. He tells her that she is hot but then tells her another girl is hotter.

When my client and her guy are ‘ ˜on, ‘ it ‘ s amazing. She is so in love and their sex is amazing and she feels sure that she will live happily ever after. And then, as if a switched was flipped, her guy is unkind and disrespectful and gone.

If your person is like this, if your person is always changing to the point that sometimes you don ‘ t recognize them, consider walking away. A person who runs hot and cold will always be this way and, if they don ‘ t make you happy as they are, they will never make you happy.

#5 – They can ‘ t sit still.

I have always been a restless person. I have lived in 5 countries, 7 cities and 9 states over the course of my lifetime. For the past 15 years, I have moved every 2.5 years. For the past 10 years I have had quite a few boyfriends. I am the definition of restless.

And what does this mean in relationship? It means that I swoop in, ready for something new, willing to dig deep quickly and get someone to fall madly in love with me. And I fall in love with them too, until, about 8-12 weeks in, I get the itch to move on. So, I do, leaving my person dazed and heartbroken.

I would imagine that many of those men would say that they were very happy that they had me in their life for that short time but I am guessing that some of them would have preferred if I had stayed.

If your person is like me, present with you now but always looking towards the next horizon, pause and think carefully before you get in too deep. You could find yourself heartbroken.

Recognizing the red flags that are there if your relationship feels too good to be true is a very smart thing to do!

An intense, passionate relationship is all well and good but what we really need for long lasting love is a person who doesn ‘ t dive in too deep too quickly, who has a healthy sexual appetite, who isn ‘ t all about themselves, whose moods are constant and who is willing to sit still.

If you recognize any of the things I have mentioned in your partner, be aware that they are huge red flags and that they are worth looking at before you crash!

 

If you have made this far you must be struggling with whether or not your relationship is working.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before you get your heart broken.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

How to Keep Your Relationship Strong during Coronavirus Isolation

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Are you stuck at home with your significant other, wondering how to keep your relationship strong during coronavirus isolation? Good for you for being proactive.

Coronavirus has changed, at least temporarily, the everyday life that we Americans have lived for so long. Instead of going to work and school, the grocery store and the movies, we are stuck at home. And if there is nothing that Americans suck at more, it ‘ s staying at home.

One of the first relationship that get frayed during crisis and isolation is often our romantic one. As time, fear and boredom take over, the instinct to take it out on your partner is not small.

There are ways to get through these scary times with your relationship intact, and maybe even stronger. Let me suggest how.

#1 – Respect each other ‘ s fears.

In our house, my boyfriends and my way of dealing with everything that is going on is quite different. I have been obsessed with watching the news and learning everything that I can about what is going on (without getting hysterical). For my partner, he has been keeping up on the news peripherally but generally going about his life.

To his credit, he is happy to sit there and listen to me while I spout out whatever information I might have just learned. What occurred to me yesterday, when I was sharing ‘ ˜just one more thing, ‘ was that I might be driving him crazy and stressing him out by interrupting him all time and sharing whatever tidbit I had discovered.

If your partner is like me and you are more like my partner, are you being supportive and listening? If your partner is lackadaisical and you are stressed out, are you respecting their need to be that way and not insisting that they listen to everything that you have to say?

If you and your partner are reacting differently to this health scare know that, to keep your relationship strong, having a talk about the differences and making an effort to respect those difference will help keep your relationship strong.

#2 – Respect each other ‘ s space.

Weekends are lovely at home but, more often than not, when Monday rolls around my guy and I are ready to get back to work and have some space. Not because we don ‘ t love each other madly but because sometimes too much togetherness isn ‘ t necessarily a good thing.

It is important that, to keep your relationship strong during this time where you and your partner might be stuck at home together, you respect each other ‘ s space. That no matter the anxiety, or the boredom, that might be consuming you both, give your partner the time to step back and take care of themselves.

What does that look like at our house? My boyfriend is, as we speak, in the garage working on a car project that he hasn ‘ t been able to get to because he has been working so hard. I am inside, on the couch with my kitty by my side, writing my blog. When I am done, I will make lunch for both of us and then he will go back to the garage and I will do some yoga. Later on, we will take a walk.

Not being in the same space 24/7 is going to be a key part of us getting through all of this together time intact. You can do it too. Because none of us wants to be alone during this time, and no one wants to be even more stressed out because their partner is driving them crazy.

#3 – Respect each other ‘ s needs.

Everybody has needs that help calm them during stressful times. It is important that, right now, we try to identify, respect and meet each other ‘ s needs.

For me, right now I need to be able to putter around my house. Keeping it orderly makes me calmer. I need to be able to cook comfort food, even if it isn ‘ t healthy. Having my feet rubbed during our evening TV makes me happy too.

For my partner, shockingly, it seems to be sex that he needs. I tried to postpone indulging last night and was met with a frown and a pouty face. I indulged him and he was happy. He also finds peace working on any car – solving problems and finding a cure.

Try to figure out what your partner needs during this stressful time. If you can ‘ t identify what they need, ask them. A key part of living together in peace will be by giving each other what you each need.

#4 – Respect your time together.

If there is one thing that couples in America don ‘ t have enough of its time together.

Our crazy work and parenting schedules make it so, at times, couples barely say more than a few words to each other over the course of a day other than ‘ ˜good morning ‘ and ‘ ˜good night. ‘ We are accustomed to this being the way things are but the way things are are rarely good for any relationship.

A wonderful way to take advantage of this time that you and your partner have together, and to keep your relationship strong, is to do things together. Take walks, binge watch ‘ Better Call Saul, ‘ have backgammon marathons, fool around. You have nothing but time right now so make the best of it!

Using this time of coronavirus isolation for good can be just the thing that saves a relationship that is struggling and making stronger one that is intact.

#5 – Respect yourself.

It is important, during this time of crisis, that you respect and care for yourself.

Men and women, both, have a tendency to go into overdrive with care giving and crisis management when confronted with something unknown and scary like the coronavirus. And when we do that, we can suck ourselves completely dry.

Make an effort to take care of yourself. Take baths, take walks, exercise (outdoors), watch cute cat videos on YouTube, play with your kids. Whatever it is that gives you pleasure, even in the short term.

If you find yourself wearing out and getting crabby, think about what they tell us on airplanes – ‘ ˜put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. ‘ That ‘ s what we need to do right now. Even if you are working hard to keep your children feeling safe (and not bored) or dealing with a crabby partner who hates sitting still, make a conscious effort to step back, if only for a bit, and take care of yourself!

Knowing how to keep your relationship strong during coronavirus isolation is a key part of getting through the crisis intact.

Don ‘ t belittle your partner ‘ s emotions, share what you both need to get through this, make the most of your time together and take care of yourself!

I know it feels like everything has changed and will never be the same but we will get through this as a nation and our relationship can survive and, even thrive, in spite of it all.

If you have made this far you must really be going a little crazy with isolation.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before you get crazier.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

Situational Depression Triggers & Symptoms that You Need to Know Now

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Are things in your life rough these days? Are you plagued by feelings of hopelessness and dread? Are you wondering what situational depression triggers look like and how to tell if you are suffering?

Let me help!

Combating situational depression is different from dealing with other kinds of depression. Identifying the cause and effect is the key. Here are some things that you need to know how to fight the fight and win!

#1 – Know what situational depression is.

Diagnostically, are two basic kinds of depression: situational depression and chemical depression. They have similar symptoms but different causes.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to youeven if your life is going great.

So, ask yourself some questions about what your life looks like these days to help you figure out what kind of depression you might have.

If you think you have situational depression, read on. If you think you have chemical depressionhere is an article for you to read to learn more.

#2 – Know what is causing YOUR situational depression.

As I stated above, situational depression happens when something occurs in your life that causes you extreme stress and because you haven ‘ t yet adapted to the changes brought about as a result of that event.

Situational depression triggers can include:

  • Problems at work or school
  • Illness
  • Death of a loved one
  • Moving
  • Relationship issues

Furthermore, many people who struggle with situational depression often have preexisting experiences with some sort of trauma that might contribute to their mood changes. Some possible experiences may be:

  • Existing mental health problems
  • Several difficult life experiences happening at once
  • Having gone through considerable stress as a child

So, take a good look at your life right now. Are you struggling with something? Is your child having issues at school? Is your marriage a mess? Are your parents ill? Have you had a recent relationship break up? Anything that is out of the ordinary and which is making it more difficult to function.

If you are sad, and any or all of those situational depression triggers sound familiar, you might be situationally depressed.

#3 – Know the symptoms of situational depression.

Most people with situational depression develop symptoms within roughly 90 days following the event that triggers the condition. Symptoms can include:

  • Listlessness
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of enjoyment of regular activities
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Sadness
  • Recurring bouts of crying
  • Loss of interest in food
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Loss of Concentration
  • Withdrawal from work or friends
  • Suicidal thoughts

Symptoms of situational depression vary from person to person and usually include more than one of the symptoms above.

Review the list above carefully. If any of these things seem familiar to you then you might be struggling with situational depression and it ‘ s time to deal with it. Situational depression can cause severe disruption of your life if left untreated.

#4 – Know the best way to treat situational depression.

In many cases, situational depression will ease on its own. There are things that you can do in the meantimeto help relieve the symptoms. Getting exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, sharing your feelings and doing things that make you happy can all help ease your sense of sadness.

However, if your symptoms are seriously disrupting your life or not going away, it would be a good idea to talk to your primary care doctor about what is going on. It might be time to talk to a psychologist and/or get treated with some medication.

Either way, it is important that you pay attention to your moods so that you know if they are getting worse or better. It ‘ s often easy to lose sight of the fact that it ‘ s the depression that is making your life so bleak. We start to blame ourselves for not being strong enough or outgoing enough or smart enough when in fact our self-image is clouded by the depression.

Checking in with your moods regularly so that you can deal with them properly is an important part of dealing with your situational depression.

#5 – Know that you should have hope.

Some people with situational depression have symptoms for longer than 6 months. This is especially common when something else happens during the recovery period, which often happens because, well, this is life.

If yourdepression is seriously impacting your life, whether just for a few weeks or a few months, reach out to your doctor to get some support. Your life just might depend on it.

Luckily, for many, situational depression can abate quickly, especially if you make a special effort to take care of yourself, sleep and eat well, get exercise and hang out with those you love.

So, have some hope that your situational depression will most likely pass, that it won ‘ t be a part of your life forever. How you are feeling today is most likely not how you will feel in a month or two.

Knowing situational depression triggers and symptoms is the key part of learning how to live with it.

Fortunately, dealing with situational depression is possible. Take a good look at your life and try to identify what might be causing your sadness. Knowing what the source of your sadness is the first step to dealing with it.

Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat and sleep well. Pay attention to your moods and manage them. Have hope that, with time or with treatment, it will pass and you will get your life back.

You can do it! I promise.

If you have made this far you must really be struggling with situational depression.

Let me help you get there, NOW, before it gets worse!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let ‘ s get started.

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