5 Things You MUST Know If You Are Feeling Depressed For The First Time

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You are feeling depressed for the first time. Are you feeling confused and overwhelmed and not sure what to do about it? It’s a scary feeling, one you have never experienced before.

Let me help you. I have struggled with depression for most of my life and there are some things that are essential to know if you are feeling depressed for the first time.

#1 – What kind of depression is it?

In my experience, there are two basic kinds of depression: situational depression and chemical depression.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to you even if your life is going great.

Chemical depression can be treated but it might be treated differently from situational depression.

I have suffered from chemical depression my whole life and experienced situational depression while I cared for my mother as she was dying of pancreatic cancer. Both kinds of depression were tough to deal with but I figured out how.

#2 – There are different types of treatment for different kinds of depression.

For situational depression, depression that usually has a beginning and an end, the most effective treatment I found was talk therapy and the use of an anti-depressant.

Talk therapy is very effective for situational depression because there is usually something specific that needs to be processed. For me, I had to process the effects of being the caregiver of a dying parent and then how to cope when she died.

Medication was very effective for me as well. I described my anti-depressant as something that ‘ ˜raised the bottom of the pool for me to keep me from drowning. ‘

The talk therapywas important for me but it wasn ‘ t enough. The anti-depressant enabled me to get to the therapy, engage with the therapist and move on. Some time after the death of my mother I was able to stop the anti-depressant medication, although I did continue the therapy for a while.

With chemical depression talk therapy can also be quite effective but medication is often an essential part of treatment.

I have suffered from depression my whole life; the result, I believe, of genetics – both my grandfather and my great grandfather were severely depressive. The fact that my brain chemistry is off is an inherited trait, much like the thyroid cancer my grandmother passed down to me.

For me, the most effective way to manage my brain chemistry is with medication. I have been on a mood stabilizer for 10 years now and it has balanced out my brain chemistry to the point where the depression no longer controls my life.

Because chemical depression often doesn ‘ t have an ‘ end, ‘ other types of treatment can be very effective. I have found that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worked quite well for me. CBT teaches you how to talk back to your brain when it tries to bring you down. It teaches you how to identify thought patterns that don ‘ t serve you which can help you manage your depression.

There are many other types of therapy and learned coping skills that work with chemical depression as well. Talk to you therapist about what might work best for you.

#3 – Depression is nothing to be embarrassed about.

In the United States mental illness is the #1 most discriminated against state of being, over race and sexual orientation. Many people believe that depression is something that can be avoided and if you are ‘ ˜strong enough ‘ you can power through it.

Many people also believe that taking medication is a mark of weakness. People don ‘ t question my taking medication for a thyroid disorder but I get questioned every day about why I take psychotropic meds.

All that being said, virtually everyone in the US is touched in some way by depression. They might struggle with it or perhaps a parent or a child does. Whatever the case, there are many, many people out there living with mental illness and hiding yours won ‘ t serve you.

In fact, one of the best ways that I manage my depression is by talking about it, with my family and friends, but also with other people who are struggling like me.

#4 – Your depression will get worse without treatment.

Both types of depression, both situational and chemical, will get worse without treatment.

I wasn ‘ t diagnosed with depression until I was 42 years old when it got so bad that I had a breakdown. Earlier treatment might have prevented me from getting to that place.

It is essential that if you are struggling with depression that you reach out to your primary care provider right away. You can discuss with them the causes and symptoms of your depression and make a plan on how to move forward with treatment.

#5 – Take care of yourself.

If you are depressed for the first time it is very important that you take care of yourself.

Many people who are depressed self-medicate with alcohol, drugs, food and sex, among other things. While these things will make you feel better in the short term, in the long run you will find that these things only make your depression worse.

So make sure you are doing things that are good for you. Exercise regularly, sleep well and eat foods that are healthy. Spend time with people who are good to you and do activities that make your heart sing.

While these things won ‘ t cure your depression, they will make living with it way more tolerable and allow you to live a quality life.

If you are feeling depressed for the first time it is essential that you recognize your depression for what it is and reach out for help right away.

Depression is a scary thing and while it is tempting to ignore it in the hopes that it will go away, really it won ‘ t. I tried to ignore mine and instead found myself one day in a closet, banging my head against the wall.

So reach out to your primary care giver today. Get your treatment started. And make sure that you take care of yourself along the way.

You will be glad you did! I was.

Do you know that you are feeling depressed for the first time?
Let me help, NOW, before it gets worse!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

Are You Productive? Find Out By Answering These 5 Questions

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Are you productive? Do you find yourself struggling every day to get everything done that you need to get done and still have some time left for yourself?

Do you wonder if you just don ‘ t have enough time or if you waste the time that you do have?

There are 5 questions that you should ask yourself if you are wondering if you are productive.

#1 – How much time do you spend on your screen?

Cell phones, pads and computers have taken over our lives and they are the number one cause of lack of productivity.

Have you heard of the term ‘ screen suck? ‘ It means the time that we spend on our computer when we don ‘ t mean to. Like when you go on to ‘ ˜quickly check your email ‘ and end up still on an hour later having watched too many cute animal videos.

Being sucked into our screen kills productivity.

So how much time do you spend in in front of your screen? If it ‘ s more than hour, spent surfing instead of getting work done, your productivity is probably lagging.

#2 – Do you have a ‘To-Do’ list?

The most productive people have a list of things that need to get done.

As much as we would all like to believe that we can maintain a running list to-do in our head, it is almost impossible to do so.

Between work and family and social life and work there are so many things that need to get done and to get them done you must keep track of them.

So, if you don ‘ t have an ongoing list, one that prioritizes things that need to get done, you most likely aren ‘ t as productive as you could be.

#3 – Can you say NO?

You know when that mom approaches you at pick-up time and asks if you would mind running the annual school auction? Or when your boss asks you to take over yet another project? How good are you at saying NO?

The most productive people know how many hours they have available in the day and are strong enough to say NO instead of adding one more thing to their already heavy load.

On top of being less productive, when you take on too many things you also become less effective. You can ‘ t do the things you take on as well as you might because you just can ‘ t devote the mental and physical energy needed to do it.

So learn to say NO! Your productivity will increase immediately if you do.

#4 – Can you ask for help?

The most productive people in the world are NOT the people who try to do it all themselves. The most productive people in the world are the ones who are willing to delegate and share tasks to get things done efficiently.

Do you need to do everything in order to get that new project completed on time or are there people you can ask to support you in this endeavor?

Can you take on that school auction and still keep your household running well or might it be a good idea to get someone in to clean your house a couple of times a month?

In this world it ‘ s almost a badge of honor to be so busy that you barely sleep and feel constantly overwhelmed. But the most productive people don ‘ t wear that badge. They know that by asking for help they will be more efficient and effective in their endeavors and not struggle with being overwhelmed and exhausted.

#5 – Are you taking care of yourself?

Being a productive person in the world depends a lot on your physical and emotional wellbeing.

If you are someone who never gets enough sleep, doesn ‘ t eat well or struggles with depression being productive will be challenging.

To be productive you need to have mental clarity and physical stamina. So take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, take a walk and pay attention to your mental health.

If you do you will be well fortified in your efforts to be productive.

So, after asking yourself those questions, what is the answer? Are you productive?

If not, then follow my suggestions.

Limit your screen time, make a list, learn to say no, to ask for help and take care of your physical and mental health.

This is a jam-packed, chaotic and exhausting world that we live in but you can make your little corner of it less so by managing your habits so that you can be productive.

Imagine going to bed at night with most of the things on your list crossed off? How great would that feel?

So go for it! Change those habits and answer YES to the question ‘Are you productive?’

What It Means When You’re Feeling Depressed But Nothing Is Wrong (And What to Do About It)

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Have you recently been feeling depressedbut nothing is wrong? Do you feel like you have everything that you want in your life but still you feel like you are carrying a hundred pound weight on your back, that you have no interest in anything and that all you want to do is sleep?

I am not a doctor but I can tell you that I used to feel that way all the time. I lived with this overwhelming sense of hopelessness and dread. I tried to be a good parent but keeping my energy up was close to impossible. I tried to be great wife but my irritability prevented that from happening. I had a great job but my performance suffered.

This went on for years. YEARS. I thought that I was managing it, and I was. Until I wasn ‘ t.

One day, when I was 42 years old, I found myself in a closet banging my head against the wall. I had no idea what was going on.

A friend of mine scooped me up off the floor and took me to see a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with chemical depression. He sent me off with some medication and instructions to follow up with a therapist.

That day changed my life.

If you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong in your life then you too could be chemical depressed. This means that you have a chemical imbalance that causes depressive symptoms without something actually being wrong.

So what do you do if you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong? I have some suggestions.

#1 – Ask yourself a few questions.

A good way to get a sense of whether or not you are chemical depressed is to ask yourself some questions. They are:

  • Are you living with feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Are you more irritable than usual?
  • Have you lost interest in things that used to make you happy?
  • Are you not sleeping as well as you used to?
  • Have your sleep patterns changed? Are you spending more time in bed?
  • Have your eating patterns changed? Have you lost or gained weight?
  • Are you more anxious than you used to be?
  • Do you struggle with feelings of worthlessness?
  • Do you have a hard time focusing?
  • Do you think about committing suicide?
  • Do you have new physical problems, like headaches or backaches.

If you answered yes to any, or all, of these questions you are most likely suffering from depression.

Now, ask yourself if this has happened to your before? How regularly? Does anyone else in your family struggle with depression? Were there any traumatic experiences in your life that might have affected your deeply?

If you answer YES to any of those questions you most likely suffer from chemical depression.

What to do next?

#2 – See your primary care doctor immediately.

If you are feeling depressed and nothing is wrong It is important that you reach out to your primary care doctor as soon as possible to tell her about your symptoms. Seeking medical help is key to dealing with depression.

Many primary care physicians are knowledgeable about the treatment of depression and can help you with treatment right away. Some primary care doctors might refer you to a psychiatrist who can help you diagnose and manage your depression.

Either way, see you doctor right away.

#3 – Stick to whatever regimen the doctor prescribes.

This is a key part of dealing with chemical depression.

What often happens is that a doctor prescribes a medication to help someone manage their depression and then once they are feeling better they stop taking it. And what happens next? The depression comes back.

So stick to your treatment. Continue to take your meds. Just like you would if your doctor had prescribed meds to help you with a thyroid issue. Or diabetes.

#4 – Surround yourself with people who love you.

Many people who suffer from chemical depression tend to isolate themselves from friends and family. Making the effort to spend time with people and to pretend to enjoy themselves is just too much. So they don ‘ t.

Make an effort to get yourself out there and spend time with people who love you. Spending time with people who make you laugh, who keep you out of your head and make you feel good about yourself is very important to managing your clinical depression.

#5 – Don ‘ t be embarrassed.

Many people who are diagnosed with chemical depression are embarrassed. Embarrassed that they can ‘ t just ‘ suck it up. ‘ That they might have some kind of personal deficiency that makes them weak in the face of this perceived disease.

Let me tell you! You are not weak. You are not lacking something that others have that make it so that you can ‘ ˜suck it up. ‘ You are actually incredibly brave for facing this issue head on.

Chemical depression is a disease caused by a chemical imbalance. The same as heart disease, the same as thyroid disease.

Chemical depression is perceived by many in society to be a personal weakness. I mean how can you be depressed if nothing is wrong? Luckily more and more people are speaking up about living with mental illness. More and more people, including many famous people, are being honest about living well with their condition and helping to eliminate the stigma about mental illness.

So, join the celebrities. Don ‘ t be embarrassed. Chemical depression is not something that you could have prevented. But it is something that you can deal with.

If you are feeling depressed but nothing is wrong then you may be struggling with clinical depression.

The best way to deal with it is to get yourself to see your doctor right away and then stick with the medical treatment they prescribe. Also make sure to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love you.

You, like millions of other women, can have a full and happy life living with chemical depression. All you need to do is to pick up the phone and call your doctor.

Do it TODAY!

Are you struggling with feelingdepressed but not sure why?
I know it can be really, really hard. Let me help before the depression gets worse!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

The Most Meaningful Career Success Advice For Women

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A client recently asked me what was the best career success advice for women that I could share with her.

She was a young woman in her mid-20s and just starting out. I have had 30 years out in the work world and she wanted my insight.

After some reflection, I realized that there are 5 pieces of career success advice that I would give any young women as she takes on the crazy world of career building.

#1 – Be self-aware.

The most important part of career success is to know who you are and what you want to do.

Many of us just fall into jobs. Our parents encourage us in one direction, our friends in another. Or perhaps we decide to take a job just because it pays well. Sometimes we take a job thinking that it will be temporary while we figure out what we really want to do.

And then we find ourselves stuck. Stuck in a job that we hate.

Let me tell you that if you don ‘ t have a job that you LOVE you will have a hard time achieving career success.

Take the time before you embark on your career search to examine what you want to be doing for the rest of your life by asking yourself a few questions:

What are your best skills and the ones you most enjoy doing?
What kinds of work interests you the most?
How important is making a lot of money?
Do you feel like you want to help change the world?
How important is work/life balance?

Once you have the answers to these questions you can start your job search with a clear vision of what kind of work you want. And getting the job of your dreams is an excellent beginning to achieving career success.

#2 – Be brave.

I know that this might seem weird in 2017 but many women in the workplace still have a hard time advocating for themselves.

Sheryl Sandberg writes in her book Lean In ‘ ˜that women keep themselves from advancing because they don ‘ t have the self-confidence and drive that men do. ‘

I am not sure that I completely agree with this statement but I know that some elements of it are true.

As women our tendency is to hang back and observe, to reflect before we speak and sometimes to not speak at all. Women are more cautious. Women don ‘ t apply for promotions unless they fit the profile perfectly and are less likely than men to ask for a well-deserved raise.

It is important that women in the workplace today don ‘ t hang back. It is important that women identify who they want to be in the workplace and what they want and go after it with a vengeance.

They must speak up and lead, even in the face of men who might try to push against them. They must believe, deep down, that they CAN do this job and that they will succeed.

#3 – Be honest.

It is important in all areas of life, but especially in the career world, to be honest. Honest with yourself and with others.

First of all, we must be honest with ourselves. Are we doing our best at work? Are we taking responsibility for getting our job done well and when things go awry are we accepting the blame for our errors? Are we honest with our feelings about our boss and our co-workers? Are we honest about how we feel our careers align with our morals and values? Are we clear that we are doing the right thing for ourselves and our families?

We must also be honest with our co-workers. So many women take on more than they can handle because they don ‘ t believe that anyone else can do it as well as they can. As a result, many women are overworked and overwhelmed.

It is important that we allow ourselves to delegate and share, when necessary, and if our co-workers can ‘ t do the work up to company standards then we must be honest with them and show them how to get things done correctly.

Career success is achieved when women know that they are doing the best job that they can do and that they are doing only their job, not the jobs of others. Being honest will prevent overwhelm and enable you to get the recognition that you deserve in the workplace and thereby achieve heightened career success.

#4 – Be forward thinking.

It is so easy to become focused on the day-to-day happenings at work that we stop looking forward to the big picture.

Yes, you have your job but your job is part of the larger workplace. How does your job fit in that workplace? What can you do to be more of an asset to that workplace? How could your job expand in the future to include more responsibility and contribution? Is there a future for you outside of this job? Do you have a plan to get there?

It is important that you always keep your head up at work and are forward thinking. Career success will be achieved when you have an idea and a goal and you have a clear plan to work towards it.

#5 – Be a woman.

Many women believe that in order to be considered equals to men in the workplace we need to act like men. Back in the 70s and 80s, when women were entering the workforce, they wore suits to work, so that they could appear more manly.

Suits are mostly a thing of the past these days but still women tend to try to act like men in the workplace in order to get ahead.

I believe that, rather then act like men, women need to use their skills as a woman to achieve career success.

Women are intuitive. Women can multi-task. Women are excellent communicators. Women are big picture planners. Women have the ability to connect with people on a personal level. Women know how to fly under the radar and get the job done.

So now you see. A woman possesses all of the skills that she needs to be more than successful in her career. She just needs to pull them out of her toolbox and use them. Every day.

Getting meaningful career success advice is vital for any woman entering the workforce.

Women like to get things done, quickly and efficiently, but in the workplace it is essential to look to more experienced women to help them make a plan and achieve success.

Women have all of the skills necessary to achieve that same career success as men they just have to be prepared to use them and use them well. And then, when they add their feminine superpowers to the mix, the sky is the limit.

5 Tips For Being Productive When Depressed

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You know those days when you wake up depressed and you know that it ‘ s important that you be productive nonetheless? Those are rough days!

It is possible to be productive when you are depressed. It might at times feel like you are climbing a mountain backwards in flip flops but if you have to be productive it IS possible.

How?

#1 – Get out of bed!

This, obviously, is the most essential piece of being productive when depressed. And it ‘ s most probably the hardest.

For most of us bed is our favorite place to be when we are depressed. It ‘ s cozy and warm and safe and we can sleep away our sadness. At least for a while.

But to be productive you have to get out of it. Which is hard but imperative.

People I know who suffer from depression have a myriad of tricks to get themselves out of bed and stay out of bed. They place their alarm clock across the room and when it goes off they have to get out of bed to turn it off. Some people strip their sheets off their bed once they are out or even take their mattress off it ‘ s box spring. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and getting started on their day.

#2 – Exercise.

The second most important piece of being productive when depressed is getting some exercise.

I know! The prospect seems herculean but what a difference it will make if you can do it!

Exercise produces endorphins which is exactly the chemical that is deficient when you are depressed. Exercise will help replete your bodies supply of endorphins, at least for a while.

And newly stocked your body, and mind, will able to be more productive.

So get out and do something. Take a walk, go for a run, do some yoga, play frisbee. Whatever you enjoy that will get your heart rate up and those endorphins flowing.

#3 – Choose one thing to get done.

Sometimes all it takes is doing one thing to get out of a depressed stupor.

Sitting in your bed, or on your sofa, pondering all of the things that you have to do can be so daunting that you give up completely and instead binge watch The Walking Dead. That is not productive.

Instead of focusing on everything you need to get done consider ONE thing. And get up off the couch and do that one thing.

Often times, if we are able to break our stupor and get something done we will feel so good that we will want to go on to another thing. And, while we might still feel depressed, we are being productive which will ultimately help put that depression at bay.

#4 – Choose to do things that you CAN do.

When I am depressed there are some things that I am absolutely not capable of doing. Making phone calls is one of them. I hate making phone calls on a good day. On a depressed day, forget about it.

I do know that on a depressed day there are some things that I can do. I can sort through my piles of paper and recycle and file them as necessary. I can go through and clean up my email inbox. I can do research on future blogs. I can go for a walk.

I know my things might seem weird but they are my things. Think about the things that you could do when you are depressed. And do them. Because even if you can ‘ t make phone calls doing something else is definitely productive.

#5 – Let yourself off the hook.

Okay. You are depressed. And it sucks. But it is what it is.

Recognize that you are depressed and that you will have to ride it out. And in the meantime you might not be as productive as you would like to be but you are as productive as you can be.

If you don ‘ t let yourself off the hook, don ‘ t recognize that this depression will pass and that you will become your old self again, you will only sink into a deeper sadnesswhich could fuel your inability to be productive.

So take care of yourself. Recognize that you are in a tough place and that you are doing your best nonetheless.

And then get up and do that one thing!

Being depressed is horrible. Being productive when depressed can seem impossible. But it doesn ‘ t have to be!

Living with depression is like carrying a 50lb gorilla on your back. It ‘ s debilitating and exhausting. But it doesn ‘ t have to defeat you.

Get out of bed, exercise, choose one thing to do, do it and let yourself off the hook.

Trust me! You will be glad you did.

Are you struggling with being productive when depressed?
Let me help, NOW, before it all becomes too overwhelming!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

How To Make It Through The Day When You’re Feeling Overwhelmed And Tired

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Our modern lives are chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting and it can be hard to make it through the day when you are feeling overwhelmed and tired. And because it seems that every day is the same it can be very hard to get ahead of it all.

It IS possible to get through those days overwhelming and exhausting days. All it takes is a little awareness and intention and you can do it!

Here are 5 ways to do so.

#1 – Make a list and prioritize.

When you are feeling overwhelmed and tired just thinking about all of the things that needs to be done can shut you down for the day. And shutting you down for the day is definitely not what you need because that will only lead to more overwhelm tomorrow!

So take a minute and make a list of everything that you think needs to be done today. Once you have a list make a list of everything that REALLY needs to be done today. And then take that list and prioritize what needs to be done first, second and third.

If you know exactly what needs to be done, and you can look at it in front of you, your overwhelm will immediately subside, at least a bit. A big piece of overwhelm is the result of just not knowing what needs to be done.

#2 – Take it one step at a time.

Once you have your list it ‘ s important to start at the beginning.

You have a list and it ‘ s prioritized and now it ‘ s time to take it one step at a time.

Another cause of overwhelm is that we jump too quickly ahead or start to visualize an end result that isn ‘ t what we want it to be and so we get derailed.

So take each item on your list individually. And if something gets in the way don ‘ t give up. Get back to your list and keep moving forward.

#3 – Do something for yourself.

A key part of surviving through exhaustion and overwhelm is to do something to take care of yourself. When we are at the end of our rope our tendency is to put ourselves on the back burner and everyone and everything ahead of us.

It ‘ s important that we take even just a little bit of time to do something for ourselves and recharge our batteries.

What would work for you? Perhaps it ‘ s a walk or a run, a mid-morning croissant snack, tea with a friend, a pedicure or even a massage. Whatever would work for you to make your day just a little more manageable.

#4 – Remember to eat and eat well.

When we are running around like crazy we tend to forget to eat. Or if we do eat we eat something that isn ‘ t good for us.

An important part of fighting overwhelm is to make sure that we eat well, food that will fuel our journey through the day.

What kind of food? Protein is the most important – eggs, nuts, chicken, cheese. Make sure to eat a good breakfast and lunch or, at the very least, keep some protein with you to snack on. A bag of almonds in the glove box can make a huge difference.

#5 – Take a cat nap.

I know you are laughing at the thought of fitting a nap into your crazy day but if you possibly can it will make a HUGE difference.

I am the queen of the 20 minutes nap in the car. I pull over in the shade or sun, depending on the season, put my seat back and snooze for 20 minutes. When I wake up my energy levels are definitely up and I can get through the rest of my day.

So try to make some time to snooze. It will be totally worth it!

This crazy modern life we lead makes being overwhelmed and tired a regular occurrence. And, since tropical vacations aren ‘ t usually available to help us recharge, it ‘ s important that we do what we can do to get through the day.

So make a list, set your priorities and take care of yourself. If you can take care of yourself then you will better be able to take care of others. And get yourself through the day intact and ready for another one tomorrow.

5 Signs Your Depression Is Getting Serious And It’s Time To Get Help

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For some time now you have been feeling really sad. Not yourself. And you aren’t enjoying your life. Do you feel like your depression is getting serious?

Your friends are telling you that it will pass. To snap out of it. But you are wondering if you can. You are wondering if maybe you are clinically depressed.

There are ways to tell…

#1 – Your depression is getting serious if you can’t get out of bed or off the couch.

How much time do you spend on the couch or in bed? You aren’t necessarily tired but the prospect of getting up is just too daunting to face. So you stay horizontal all day, watching Netflix and feeling like a loser.

This habit is a significant indicator of depression. People who have been diagnosed with depression tell of the great lengths they go to stay out of bed. Of stripping the sheets, taking the mattress off of the box spring and leaning it against the wall, locking the bedroom door. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and wallowing in their depression.

#2 -Your depression is getting serious if you have no interest in the things you love.

Have you lost interest in doing the things that you have always loved?

Does the idea of going to school or seeing friends or going out to dinner just seem like too much to bear?

People who are depressed isolate themselves. The energy that it takes to get out of bed and interact with others is overwhelming. So they don’t.

Ironically, going out and doing the things that you love is a great way to alleviate depression temporarily. Unfortunately the treatment can often seem too daunting to undertake and so people who are depressed just stay home.

#3 -Your depression is getting serious if you have overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and dread.

Do you spend much of your time running all sorts of negative thoughts through your head about how horrible your life is? What a loser you are and how no one will ever love you? Are you 100% confident that this will never change?

People who are depressed believe that all of the negative thoughts that run through their head. Unfortunately they also believe, falsely, that it will always be this way!

The truth is is that when one is depressed things can only seem hopeless because when one ‘ s mind is in such a bad place it ‘ s impossible to believe that the future will be any different.

The good news is that once the depression is addressed that feeling of hopelessness can disappear completely!

#4 – Your depression is getting serious if you are impatient with those you love.

Do you find yourself losing your patience with those you love? Do you scream at your kids if their homework doesn’t get done? Do you sneer at your husband if he asks you what is wrong? Can you not even talk to your mom anymore because her incessant questioning is just too much?

Impatience with those you love is a huge indicator of depression. The sense of the hopelessness that our condition will never change and that we are worthless makes it intolerable for us to interact with others, particularly those who love us and want the best for us.

Ironically, it is that love exactly that we need most in our life when we suffer from depression. Pushing that love away ultimately can make the depression worse.

#5 – Your depression is getting serious if your appetite has changed.

Have you found that recently your appetite has changed? Do you find yourself indulging more than usual in Ben and Jerry ‘ s and Oreos? Or do you find that you have no taste for food at all? Have you lost weight and find yourself listless because you aren’t eating?

Changes in eating patterns can indicate depression. When depression goes untreated we can self medicate with food, often to one extreme or another. Which is not healthy and can make it all worse.

Or course, eating well is an important part of dealing with depression. And failing to do so only makes the feelings of hopelessness and despair worse.

Depression gets worse the longer it goes untreated.

Unfortunately we hate to admit to being depressed because our loved ones, and society as a whole, tend to stigmatize those with depression.

So, ask yourself if you have any of the symptoms above. If you do, seek professional help immediately. Call your primary care provider and tell her exactly how you have been feeling, using this article as a reference if you like.

Treating depression is easy. Living with it is not.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with depression.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Article previously published on Your Tango.com.

5 Things To Stop Doing If You Are Battling Depression

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Are you feeling hopeless and full of despair? Do you question everything about the life you are living? Your career or your relationships? Is the prospect of taking even one step out the door just more than you can bear right now?

If you said yes to any or all of these questions you are most likely depressed. And being depressed sucks.

I know. I have lived with depression for 52 years.

Depression can be a chemical imbalance in your body but it can also be the result of something going on in your life. Either way, there are things to stop doing if you are battling depression.

#1 – Stop lying around!

The number one symptom of depression is the inability to get out of bed. The number on thing to stop doing if you are battling depression is to get out of bed.

The comfort of our cozy beds, and the escape of sleep, is hard to resist when we are struggling with depression. We are super-comfortable and in our beds we don ‘ t have to deal with anything. And our dreams are far better than our realities.

Even so, GET OUT OF BED.

The problem with staying in bed is that ruminating on how bad you are feeling is the worst way to deal with depression. And that is what you will do during your awake times. Also, the more time you spend in bed the less energy you will have to deal with life and your emotions when you have to.

So, do what you can to make your bed a less appealing place. Take your mattress off its box spring and lean it against the wall. Remove your sheets and comforter first thing in the morning. Keep your window shades open and your room bright. What ever it takes to get you out of bed and keep you out.

#2 – Stop beating yourself up.

Being depressed is NOT YOUR FAULT.

Whether you are chemically depressed or depressed because of a life situation, your depression is not your fault. Your depression is directly caused by something out of your control.

Blaming yourself for your depression, and beating yourself up about it, will only intensify the depth and length of your sadness.

So take a moment and consider the reason why you are feeling depressed. Is it because your boyfriend broke up with you or is it something that just happens to you sometimes?

Either way, it ‘ s not your fault. So let the blame go.

#3 – Stop drinking and doing drugs.

I know. Drinking and drugs will make your depression magically disappear. A night out with the girls, with some wine and dancing, will make you feel like 100 bucks.

And then, the next morning, you will feel more depressed than ever. Probably even worse.

Alcohol and drugs are depressants – they cause depression. So avoid them at all costs.

Try ice cream instead!

Looking for help dealing with your depression? Reach out and I can help!

#4 – Stop isolating yourself.

Yes, the tendency to stay home, in our beds, watching Netflix and ruminating about how horrible our lives are is very tempting when we are depressed. But DON ‘ T DO IT.

Getting out of the house and doing things is the key to managing your depression. Actually doing something, like taking a hike or going to the grocery store, will go a long way towards alleviating your depression, even if only for a bit.

Interacting with people while doing something is even better. Spending time with others, smiling, talking, sharing, is a very effective way to ease your depression. The act of smiling has actually been proven to ease sadness. Being with people will take your mind off of how sad you are which can be a huge relief.

So, after the next NetFlix episode, make a plan and get out there and do something. It doesn ‘ t have to be anything big but do something.

Don ‘ t let that depression get the best of you!

#5 – Stop being silent.

For many of us, being depressed is an embarrassing thing. Society has imposed such a stigma on depression that people are hesitant to share when they are feeling sad.

Share away. Talk to a friend, a relative, your doctor. Tell them how you are feeling. Don ‘ t expect them to fix you but do let them know that you are struggling with your feelings right now.

Sharing emotions is an excellent way to manage them. Sharing allows an energetic release from the body and it gives you an opportunity to have others help and support you.

So don ‘ t be embarrassed by how you are feeling. It is not your fault. Reach out to friends for love and support. You will be glad you did.

Depression is a horrible thing to have to manage. For me it feels like I am carrying around a 100lb gorilla on my back. Even taking one step seems like more than I can bear.

If you are looking for things to stop doing if you are battling depression, listen to me. I know that if I do take that step, if I get out of bed, take care of myself and interact with people, that 100lb gorilla will get lighter, that I will get some relief.

So do it. GET OUT OF BED NOW and get started!

Are you struggling with depression?
I know it’s really, really hard. Let me help!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com and let’s get started!

 

5 Ways to Be More Productive and CHANGE YOUR LIFE

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Lack of productivity can be very destructive. It can lead to overwhelm, which can be paralyzing, and it can be very demoralizing, which can lead to low self-esteem.

Neither of those things help you live the life of your dreams.

There are a myriad of reasons why my clients seek me out to be their life coach but most often a piece of it is that they need some help with productivity. I am happy to report that without exception those clients who were willing to take on their low productivity reported a dramatic change after just a few weeks of working with me.

Today I am going to share with you the work that I have done with my clients so you can learn about being more productive.

#1 – Identify what it is you want. Precisely.

Many of my clients come to me with an idea of what they want from their life. A new job, a better marriage, improved relations with co-workers, how to move forward in a different way. What many of those clients haven ‘ t done is identify what exactly it is they want. Without that knowledge moving forward is impossible.

I have a client who came to me because she was miserable in her job of 15 years but she just didn ‘ t know what to do. She had tried to make adjustments at work so that she could be happier but to no avail. She was stuck with what to do next. Paralyzed in fact.

I asked her where she would go if she left her job. She had no idea. She knew that she wanted out but she had given no thought to where she would like to jump. And, I asked, how would you get to that new place. Again, my question was met with silence.

The next part was quick and easy. We brainstormed new career paths, ideas that made her heart sing. We then cleaned up her resume to reflect that new job she sought. Next she researched job opportunities and applied for those jobs. Within a few weeks she had some interviews and soon after found the job of her dreams.

All this because she identified precisely where she wanted to go. Without concrete information you are stuck. She was. And then she wasn ‘ t.

#2 – Set goals.

Once you know what it is you want to do it ‘ s time to set goals.

I have a client who had created a website and she had been working on it ‘ s blog for almost a year. She had been tweaking and re-tweaking and then walking away, bored and frustrated, only to eventually come back and tweak it some more.

I asked her how determined she was to get this blog onto her site. Scale of 1-10. 10 she said. So we set a date. A date one month later. She put it on her calendar.

One month later, after years in process, after having set goals with me and making a plan, her blog was up.

Was she proud? Did her self-esteem go through the roof? Yes and yes. Awesome!

#3 – Make a plan.

Having a plan is an essential part of being productive. Without a plan you are stabbing about in the dark.

I have a client who HATED going to the grocery store. HATED it. So she didn ‘ t. As a result she didn ‘ t eat well and always felt weak.

I asked her why she hated the grocery store. She said the noise and the lights were annoying, things were hard to find, she never had time to find recipes of things to make, and she didn ‘ t want to spend the money. All valid reasons.

So we made a plan. First we skipped the recipes. I had her make a list of things that she knew how to cook and of things she liked to eat. She made a list using those things as a basis and I helped her organize her list into groups that related to areas in the grocery store. We made a plan of when she could go, at times when it was less crowded. She also decided to wear her headphones so the noise was less daunting.

Last, but not least, we set a specific date and time. And when she was done shopping she had to call me. And you know what? She did it. She has food. She feels better. And she did it again the next week.

#4 – Have a great calendar and use it wisely.

I had a client who had the most lofty goals but she didn ‘ t believe herself capable of following through on anything. As a result nothing ever got done.

Here is what we did. Every Sunday night we made a calendar for her for the week. On it, in red, were the things that she HAD to do. Doctor ‘ s appointments, driving to soccer, her half hour walk, 1 hour of writing. And then, in green, were the things that she wanted to get done. Balancing her checkbook, cleaning out closets, making some phone calls. She added things in black as things popped up during the week.

Those items in red were non-negotiable. If an emergency came up and she wasn ‘ t able do a red item then she had to immediately reschedule it for another day that week. It wasn ‘ t allowed to fall through the cracks.

The green items were treated the same but they could be moved to the next week if necessary.

The black were things that tended to get done because they were last minute and she was able to get them done because that ‘ s how she thrived, with a time limit.

She knew I would be checking up on her so she stuck to it as agreed.

It took a few weeks but using her calendar really allowed my client to be as productive as she had always hoped to be. And being so productive ramped up her self-esteem in a big way. She realized that she wanted to keep doing this, on her own, because she liked how she felt and she didn ‘ t want to let herself down. So she did. I was proud.

#5 – Find someone to hold you accountable.

This is a big part of my role as a life coach. We all need accountability. Someone to encourage us to get things done and to help us figure out why when we don ‘ t.

I know you have your friends and your family and your co-workers to support you but more often than not those people will lean towards supporting you, to listening to your rationalizations and letting you off the hook.

Not me.

I know the importance of staying on track, both for productivity ‘ s sake and for building self-esteem. Productivity is important for its own sake – things need to get done. Period.

Another reason productivity is so important is because of it ‘ s effect on your self-esteem. My clients are always so hard on themselves because they can never get things done, they are so far behind, they let other people down. Not doing these things can boost one ‘ s self-esteem significantly. And having higher self-esteem makes one more prone to being productive. See how that works?

It ‘ s a win-win in so many ways.

Our lives are crazy, jam packed and exhausting. Not being productive can cause overwhelm, and overwhelm can lead you down a path that makes it all worse.

It doesn ‘ t have to be this way. There are ways to be productive and make one ‘ s life a little less exhausting. As you can see above, my clients prove that it can be done.

You can do it too!

Need more tips on being more productive? Contact me and I can help.

5 Reasons to Do The Thing That Scares You Most

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Are you looking for reasons to do the thing that scares you most?

Last week, I willingly put myself at the top of Mt. Katahdin, one of the highest mountains in the eastern US, with an elevation of 5267 feet. As I stood there on top of this pile of rocks and looked across at the mile-long traverse called the Knife ‘ s Edge that I was about to cross, I thought to myself, ‘ There is no way I can do this. ‘

But I had to. There was no turning back. I had just slogged 4 miles up over 5-foot boulders, and there was no way I was going back down those things.

So I took it one step at a time and managed to make it across in one piece.

How did I feel on the other side? Incredible!

Doing things that scare us can be daunting, and because we usually have a choice to turn back, we often do. But after doing something that scared me, something I had no choice but to do, I realized that doing it changed my life in many ways.

And that is what I want to share with you today. How to change your life.

Here Are 5 Reasons to Do The Thing That Scares:

#1 – Do it to have some fun.

You know how you feel at the top of a roller coaster? You are strapped in, and you have been slowly rising to the crest of the rails, and there you sit for a moment. Anticipating. And scared as *%&$. And then you are off.

You soar down, over and around the rails, screaming and scared and oh so very exhilarated. Your adrenaline is pumping, and your face is smiling. You feel very much alive.

And having fun!

I have a client who had always ridden behind her husband on their jet ski at the river. The prospect of driving it scared her, and she was perfectly willing to be a passenger. After her divorce, she decided to try things that had always scared her and that included driving the jet ski on her own. So she did.

And? You guessed it. She loved it. Her kids have to fight her for it every time they visit.

#2 – Do it to challenge your assumptions.

I never assumed that I couldn ‘ t climb that mountain, which is why I put myself up there, but my client did assume that she couldn ‘ t drive a jet ski. After she proved to herself that she could in fact drive it she started to question what other assumptions she had made about her life that were false.

My client had always questioned her ability to run her own business so she had never tried and had always worked for other people. At this point in her life, she just didn ‘ t want to do that anymore and wanted to go out on her own.

Because she started challenging her own assumptions, she challenged the ones that she couldn ‘ t work for herself. Together we created and implemented a step-by-step plan to get her out of her office and into the world. Within a year she was running a health and wellness business out of her home, and she was living the life of her dreams.

#3 – Do it to prove to yourself that you can do anything.

One of the things that happen to us over time, as we age and experience disappointment and regret, is that we lose the belief in ourselves that we can actually do things, big things or small because we have failed before, we believe that we will always fail.

Doing something that scares you will prove this to not be true.

I have a client who wanted to move out of her dark, cramped apartment but she truly believed that she would NEVER be able to do so. She hired me to help her in this endeavour and, while she worked diligently to achieve that goal, we still had the conversation a few times a week about how she couldn ‘ t pull it off that it would actually kill her.

Guess what? It didn ‘ t actually kill her. She now has a new apartment which she purchased on her own, that she loves. Accomplishing her goal allowed her to start believing in herself again.

Last weekend she was invited to spend the weekend with old high school friends who hadn ‘ t seen each other in 20 years. As they each told the stories of their life, my client froze up, as she always does in such situations, because she was ashamed of the story of her life.

And then, because she believed in herself for once, she unfroze and told these women her story. And it was wonderful. They listened and accepted her and loved her even more for doing so.

Wow!

#4 – Do it to conquer fear.

I have a client who read Jaws under her bed-covers with a flashlight at the age of 8. And then at 16, she saw the movie. Because of this, my client lived with a debilitating fear of the water. She couldn ‘ t go in the sea, a lake, a pond or sometimes even a pool out of fear of what might be in there that would nibble at her toes.

Living with this fear had a big effect on her life. She and her family had travelled the world, and she had missed out on many adventures because she had avoided the water. Her family had swum with dolphins in Mexico, kayaked with whales in Washington, snorkelled with sharks in Thailand, and she had missed out on all of it.

One Christmas, while visiting the Caribbean, my client watched as her family ventured out on yet another snorkelling adventure without her. She would sit in the boat and take pictures. Again.

‘ Wait, ‘ she thought. ‘ Not this time. ‘ And without thinking too hard about it, she donned the snorkel gear and accompanied her children into the water. They stuck by her side for a few minutes, but then she shooed them off because she was entranced by what she was seeing under the sea. Fishes! Beautiful fishes! And they weren ‘ t biting her toes or menacing her in any way. How about that?

My client returned back home a changed woman. She had conquered THE biggest fear of her life. She set out to conquer others, and she did and still does.

My client is always telling me that knowing she can conquer her fear has given her a freedom she never thought she would have in her life. How great is that?

#5 – Do it to change your life.

Okay, so you have had some fun, challenge your assumptions, reminded yourself that you can do anything and conquered your fears. What ‘ s next? Do you think you are just going back to your old way of life? One built on fear, indecision and insecurity.

Of course, you aren ‘ t. You are going to take your newfound skills and self-awareness and go out and change your stars.

Because my client decided to take the step to move out of her apartment, her life has changed in so many ways. She had lived in fear, so she never put herself out there to have fun. Now she plays in an orchestra, goes to church and has started to date. Because she assumed that she was unlovable, she cut herself off from friends and family. Now she knows that she is very lovable, and she is letting them all back in again. Because she proved to herself that she could actually do it when she set her mind to moving she has set her mind to the fact that she wants to be an accountant and will pursue that goal at all costs.

Did I mention that my client is 68 years old? She decided that she wasn ‘ t going to live in her dark apartment anymore, set her mind to a change and ultimately changed her life.

If she can do it, you can too!

Eleanor Roosevelt said, ‘ You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face ‘ ¦Do the thing that you think you cannot do. ‘

Do it today. Think of one thing that you think you can not do and get determined to do it. Figure out what you need to do to do it. Set a goal for when you will get it done. Tell someone you are going to do it. And then do it. Don ‘ t TRY to do it. Do it.

It will change your life.

You can do it! I know you can.

Looking for other reasons to do the thing that scares you most? Contact me, and I can help.

 

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