5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier

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Every day moms take care of everyone else. That is just what we do. We make sure the kids are loved, fed, bathed and supported. Likewise, our partners. We do our best to carry our share, or more, at work and always try to be a shoulder to cry on for our friends.

What we aren ‘ t good at is taking care of ourselves. We set goals to go to the gym, or sleep more or eat better but in the end life gets in the way, and we just let it go.

We don’t have to do this!

Little Ways For Moms To Feel Happier:

Here are 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier.

#1 – Every day, do one thing that makes you happy:

It doesn ‘ t need to be a big thing but do something. Make a playlist for your car and listen to music that makes you sing out loud. Serve breakfast for dinner (because no one ever complains when dinner involves pancakes). Bring your book in the car and read a chapter while waiting to pick up the kids at school. Whatever small thing it is that makes your heart sing.

For me, when my kids were little, every Sunday was pizza night, and then my People magazine and I would retire to the bathtub for an hour. I went to bed Sunday night happy, and Monday mornings were much easier.

#2 – Replace the Oreos:

I am willing to bet that Oreos were not a staple of your diet before you had kids. Am I wrong? But now they are because they are in the cupboard. You get tired, or stressed or bored, and there, right in front of you, is a little disk of self-indulgence. So you eat one or 20, feel better for 30 seconds, and then feel not so good.

Keep something you love in the cupboard that will fill that need when you get tired, stressed, or bored, and go for that instead. Chocolate-covered almonds, honey-roasted peanuts, or individually wrapped chocolates (so you can ‘ t take a handful). And, if you have something that combines sugar and protein (like sweetened nuts), you won ‘ t be affected by the sugar so quickly and won ‘ t get that Oreo cookie crash.

#3 – Play with your kids:

When our kids are born, we all have grand plans to get down on the floor with them and play. And we do, at least until their sibling is born, and then we as often as not let them have at it.

Playing with your kids makes you happier, and happiness leads to healthiness. First of all, play makes you smile, and the physical act of smiling makes you happy. Also, by sheer definition, play is more fun than work. So put on a tiara and frolic with your kids, at least briefly. Try it!

One of my clients plays a game of cards with her kids and her husband every night after dinner. It only takes 20 minutes and they laugh and kid and enjoy each others company. And then off they go to homework etc. She reports that the 20 minutes makes the transitions easier and sets up a much smoother bedtime routine, every mother ‘ s dream.

#4 – Get just a little more sleep:

I know you are saying, ‘ Yeah. Right. ‘ But I am serious. Try to fit just a little more sleep into your day. Actually I am suggesting you build it into your schedule. Right there, between going to the dry cleaners and finishing your project for the meeting. Make a plan to take a 15-minute nap right after lunch, before you head out to do errands. Or sleep 15 minutes later 3 times a week, wherever you can fit in just a little more sleep.

If you sleep in 15 minutes 3 days a week, that ‘ s 45 minutes more sleep. Add two naps in there, and you have more than an hour. Every bit of sleep makes a difference.

#5 – Do one thing that will get your heart rate up:

Can ‘ t make time for the gym? No problem. Even a little cardio is better than none. Why? Because getting your heart rate up produces more endorphins, and endorphins produce a euphoric feeling.

Ideas? Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Dance around the kitchen while cooking a meal. Walk the dog. Ride a bike. Kick a soccer ball. Jump on the trampoline. Getting your heart rate up regularly is a very healthy thing to do.

A woman running in the middle of a field.

I have a client whose family got a dog. My client was worried because she knew it would do more work for her, which it did. Of course it needed to be walked, but taking it for walks changed her life. Not only did getting out of the house and getting her heartbeat up make her feel good, she also made more friends when she was out with the dog, and we know what more friends can do for your health!

So there you go: 5 Little Ways for Moms to Feel Happier. Give them a try for week. See what a difference it makes. Let me know when it does!

Have I missed anything? Do you have something you do that makes you feel healthier daily?

Are you having trouble implementing healthy habits into your life? Do you feel guilty when you try to set aside time to make yourself feel healthier? Let’s talk.

5 Ways To Be More Productive In Life & Work

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So there aren ‘ t enough hours in the day, are there? There are school lunches to be made, buses to be caught, meetings to attend, dogs to be walked, homework to be done, mothers to be called, and TV shows to catch up on. The list is endless and impossible to manage.

Or is it?

Believe it or not there are ways to get on top of your to-do list.

5 Ways To Be More Prodcutive:

Here are 5 best ways to be more productive in life and work.

#1 – Use a notebook.

A spiral bound notebook. A notebook that makes you happy to look at and that you don ‘ t want to lose. This is the key to being productive. Every organized person you know has one.

It is in this notebook that you keep your to-do list. When something new comes up, you add it to your list. The to-do list in your notebook.

You do not keep your to-do list on paper that gets lost between the car seats or eaten by the dog. Your to-do list is in a notebook you can ‘ t throw away and refuse to lose track of.

#2 – Set priorities.

Every morning take 10 minutes to review your to-do list and to set priorities. You can do this by starring or highlighting the things on your list that you need to get done that day.

Many of us do first the things on our list that we don ‘ t mind doing and don ‘ t do what needs to be done.

Jill HATED making phones calls to set up appointments. As a result she never did set up appointments, so her dishwasher didn ‘ t get fixed, her son missed his doctor ‘ s appointment, and her daughter ‘ s permission slip didn ‘ t get signed. Once she started setting her priorities Jill 1) didn ‘ t have to make all of her phones calls at the same time but made them when they needed to be made (which made them less daunting) and 2) things that usually fell through the cracks (and did more work for her) no longer fell through the cracks.

#3 – Say No!

This is key. It is very, very hard for us to say no. We don ‘ t want to say no for various reasons, whether it ‘ s because we want to do something or we feel like we should do something or we think we need to do something. But before you say yes, look at why you are saying yes.

Janet always said yes, no matter what was asked of her. She liked to keep busy and didn ‘ t want to let anyone down. But of course she ended up letting everyone down because she couldn ‘ t be as effective at her tasks as she might have been. Once she started looking at why she was saying yes, and why she wasn ‘ t saying no, she could pick and choose what she said yes to. Once she did that, she managed her time more effectively and successfully completed each task.

#4 – If it takes less than 10 minutes, DO IT.

Next time you have a few minutes, while waiting for the bus to arrive, or for a phone call to come in or while the kids are watching TV, look at your list. Is there anything on it that you can get done in 10 minutes or less? If there is, DO IT! It ‘ s those little things that are daunting and tend to add up.

And let me tell you, from personal experience, there is nothing more mood-enhancing then crossing something off your list.

#5 – Check your computer only 3 times a day.

Yes, I know. This is the hard one. We are all addicted to our screens. Totally. And I am sure you are familiar with the phenomenon known as ‘ screen sucking. ‘ This is when your computer/phone/tablet screen sucks up your time before you know it. A great way to add time to your day is to stay away from your screen.

I have a client who used to check her phone every moment she got at the expense of everyone and everything around her. She checked it three times a day for one week at my suggestion: once in the morning, once at mid-day and once after dinner. It was painful in the beginning, she reported, but by the end of the week the amount of time she had to be productive had dramatically increased. So try it for one week. See what happens.

There are 24 hours in our day, and everyone should sleep for 8. That leaves you 16 hours a day to use wisely. If you do, your life will be simpler, you will be happier, and those around you will thrive.

Remember- work smarter, not harder. If you feel constantly overwhelmed with your daily tasks to the point where your life is not joyful, let’s talk.

How To Make your Husband Feel Loved: 5 Best Ideas

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Being a mom and a partner can be tough.

From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world.

Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born, you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case, and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, which can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

How To Make Your Husband Feel Loved:s

It is possible to to find ways to make your husband feel loved. Here are some ways to start!

#1 – Make sure you speak their language.

Most of us express our love for our partners the way we want to be loved. If we like hugs, we give them to our partner, hoping they will feel our love for them. Or we might give them gifts, showing them that we are attached to them.

Unfortunately, this tactic can fail because, despite our efforts, if our partner needs something different to feel loved, then our efforts will fall flat.

Fortunately, there is a tool at hand that will help you learn to understand ways to make your husband feel loved.

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. If you can understand what your partner needs to feel loved, then you can do those things instead of what you need. And they will feel loved.

I would encourage both of you should go to the 5 Love Languages website,www.5lovelanguages.com, and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

I works. Big time. I promise.

#2 – Use your words.

I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their husband that they love them and my client says, ‘ He knows that I love do. ‘

Maybe this is true, and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your husband in the eye and tell him daily that you love them.

It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful, or that you miss them. They might ‘ know it ‘ already, but words are very meaningful.

A client’s of mine never heard from her spouse when he was away, and it was very painful because she missed him. They argued about it almost every time he left, but she wasn’t clear why she wanted to hear from him, so he didn’t change his behavior. I suggested that she tell him she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone.

She says he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

So use your words to express your feelings. You will be happy you did.

#3 – Touch him.

Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person.

Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies; that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your husband.

Touch him when he walks in the door, take his hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around him when you go to sleep at night.

Touching your partner will speak volumes about your love for them.

#4 – Be kind.

I know this seems basic, but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life.

I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm that was hard to repair.

A man and woman sitting at a table with a laptop.

I have a client who came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old, and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn ‘ t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, ‘ no. ‘

She intended to be kind that day, and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom.

You know the saying, ‘ If you love someone, set them free. ‘

Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. However, this clinginess can drive someone away because your partner will resent your need to constantly have them by your side.

You should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once before we became a couple and then a family, and it ‘ s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and parent.

I know that looking for ways to make your husband feel love can feel like a lot of effort and something what will add a lot of stress to your life.

But doing so is important.

Stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner every day, as you navigate this crazy world. Pretty good.

Are you looking for ways to make your husband feel loved?

Let me help you learn some tools, NOW, before it goes too far!

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

The 5 Best Things You Can Do for a Friend in 2023

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One of the most important pieces of true happiness is intimate connection, good friendships. The care and keeping of a friendship is not always the easiest thing to do, especially with the chaotic life that comes with being a mom, but with a little consciousness and action it can be made easier.

Below you will find a list of the 5 things best friends do together. Do them, and you will be a good friend and a happier person.

5 Best Things You Can Do For a Friend

#1 – Support each other and be honest

Friends are great for confiding in. Nothing is better than sitting down with a friend and debriefing her about the terrible row you had with your partner the night before over a hot cup of tea. A good friend will listen and commiserate. A good friend will also be honest with you, giving her perspective without judging or berating. And a good friend will take note of what her friend says.

#2 – Make each other laugh

This chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting world that we live in can be a poisonous one. The best antidote is laughter. Smiling will improve your mood, and if the smile is followed by laughter, the effect is exponentially greater.

#3 – Share experiences

Women ‘ s experiences are markedly similar. It ‘ s almost eerie how alike women ‘ s lives are worldwide. Being around people with shared experience has twofold benefits. First, it makes you fell less alone because you know other people have experienced what you have experienced. Secondly, you can learn from another ‘ s experience by hearing it’s process and outcome.

#4 – Eat ice cream

Many women feel guilty indulging in any sweet. And standing alone at your kitchen counter shoveling Oreos into your mouth is not a good idea. But sharing something sweet with a friend, one bowl, two spoons, can be a truly bonding and uplifting experience.

#5 – Take walks

Exercise is one of the most important things to do to feel healthy and happy. And walking with a friend is a great, painless way to get exercise. As an added benefit, when you go for a walk, you can apply the first 3 principles above, and then after the walk you can do the 4th without guilt!

Two women sitting on a ledge smiling for the camera.

So there you go, the 5 best things you can do for a friend. They aren ‘ t difficult at all; they take a little bit of time and attention. And the benefits are twofold: you both will be happier because of your efforts. And your happiness will pay itself to your children, partner and co-workers.

What do you do with your friends that make you happy?

If you’re feeling like your friendships are suffering, or you’d like to refocus your energy to create healthier, more joyful relationships, let’s talk. Sign up for your free session with me today.

5 Ways To Be Heard, Even if Feels Impossible

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Do you sometimes feel like you talk and you talk, and nobody hears what you are saying? Do you find yourself saying the same things repeatedly, just trying to be understood? It doesn ‘ t have to be this way.

Being heard, and listening, are keys to a happy life.

Best Ways To Be Heard:

In this article I will tell you the 5 ways to be heard. They are simple, effective and easy to implement.

#1 – Use as few words as possible.

You know the kind of person. Someone who goes on and on, trying to make a point, and somewhere along the way you lose interest. The experts say the most effective way of being heard is to use 15 words or less. Your word count doesn ‘ t have to be precise but using as few words as possible to communicate your thoughts is the best way to go.

#2 – Do not attack.

Our inclination when we feel we have been wronged is to go on the offensive. When someone doesn ‘ t return your phone call, you say, ‘ Why didn ‘ t you return my call? That was very rude. ‘ This tone immediately puts someone on the defensive and won ‘ t lead anywhere good. Try instead ‘ I was very disappointed when you didn ‘ t return my phone call. I was hoping to talk to you about ‘ ¦. ‘ This tact lets someone know how you are feeling. And they can ‘ t get defensive about how you are feeling. And it makes them realize that their actions affect others.

#3 – Be thoughtful with your timing.

The best time to be heard is not in the middle of a stressful situation or an all out argument. The best time to be heard is when you are relaxed and calm. One of my clients has a mother who always calls while she is busy making dinner. She could have loudly exclaimed during one of her phone calls, ‘ Mom, why do you always call at dinner? It ‘ s a crazy time of day! ‘ Instead she called her mother one morning after she got the kids off to school and said the same thing calmly. Her mother heard her and started calling mid-morning instead.

#4 – Make sure you listen.

Sure, if you follow the approach above, it ‘ s easy to say what you want. It ‘ s very important, however, to listen carefully to how you are being answered. To finish the circle, to be heard, you need to understand where the other person is coming from. If you both truly listen, your conversation will be an effective one.

#5 – Eye Contact.

This is one of the most important parts of truly being heard. By making eye contact with someone, you demonstrate that you believe in what you are saying and are confident. It also signals to the other person that what you say is important and that you want them to truly hear you.

Being heard is so essential to being happy.

Try these techniques out on a friend with a topic that isn ‘ t very difficult. Practice it with your children. You will see how effective it is the more you use it.

 

5 Benefits of Being Happy That Will Change Your Life

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So you are living a life in which you are not happy. I mean, you are FINE, but you think, what is the big deal? Is anyone REALLY happy? Your life is busy and chaotic, but you are fine; your job and your family are fine.

I would argue that you are not so fine. Your happiness is not only affecting yourself but affecting those around you.

Benefits of Being Happy In 2023:

According to my decades of experience, Here are 5 benefits of being happy that will change your life forever.

#1 – Your behaviors will change.

People who aren ‘ t happy act unhappy whether they know it or not. They are impatient, crabby, distant, distracted, quick to anger, easily frustrated. The list goes on and on. Happy people, on the other hand, are rarely those things. They are far more patient, present and calm. They don ‘ t live in constant agitation, as an unhappy person does, so they aren ‘ t quick to react negatively.

#2 – Your attention span will improve.

You might not know this, but unhappy people have shorter attention spans. When you are unhappy, it is very difficult to focus on things, big or small. The mind is constantly agitating, and that makes it impossible to focus well on any one thing. Happy people have better brain function than unhappy people, which leads to better comprehension and retention.

#3 – You will smile.

Smiling is an amazing gift to the human race. The physical act of smiling improves the smiler ‘ s mood instantaneously. And if you smile at someone, that person ‘ s mood also improves. So if you are happy, you will smile more, and you will smile at more people, and they will be happier, and you will be making the world a better place.

#4 – Your health will improve.

Unhappy people are unhealthy, again, whether they know it or not. Unhappiness takes a dangerous toll on one ‘ s heart, blood pressure and internal organs. People who aren ‘ t happy don ‘ t sleep well, and lack of sleep can lead to insanity. One of my clients always had terrible tummy pains. When she resolved her problems with her husband, her tummy pains vanished.

#5 – You will be more successful at work and at home.

Unhappy people are generally unable to give their all to anything, not their work or family. They are just too drained by their unhappiness to thrive. Happy people bring that into their lives everywhere. One of my clients found happiness, and her relationship with her co-workers improved, so she was chosen as employee of the month for the first time.

So there you are, 5 ways your happiness will change your life. If you think you are the only person affected by your unhappiness, you are wrong. If you work to reach your dreams, you will be happier, and so will those around you.

For help becoming more happy and fulfilled with your life, please contact me through my website for a free first-time session.

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