5 Things You Need To Know About Combating Situational Depression

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Are things in your life rough these days? Are you plagued by feelings of hopelessness and dread? Do you find yourself combating situational depression? Are you wondering what to do?

Let me help!

Combating situational depression is different from dealing with other kinds of depression. Here are some things that you need to know to win the fight!

#1 – Know the difference between chemical and situational depression.

Diagnostically, are two basic kinds of depression: situational depression and chemical depression. They have similar symptoms but different causes.

Situational depression is caused by something that happens in your life. When something big happens that makes you sad, like the death of a parent or a divorce or the loss of a job, you can become situationally depressed. This kind of depression usually has a beginning, caused by a specific event, and an end, and is often treated differently from chemical depression.

Chemical depression is the result your brain chemistry being off in such a way that leads to depression. You are most often born with chemical depression but it can also by caused by a traumatic life event.

Chemical depression can happen to youeven if your life is going great.

So, ask yourself some questions about what your life looks like these days to help you figure out what kind of depression you might have.

If you think you have situational depression, read on. If you think you have chemical depressionhere is an article for you to read to learn more.

#2 – Know what is causing YOUR situational depression.

As I stated above, situational depression happens when something occurs in your life that causes you extreme stress and because you haven ‘ t yet adapted to the changes brought about as a result of that event.

Issues that can bring about situational depression include:

  • Problems at work or school
  • Illness
  • Death of a loved one
  • Moving
  • Relationship issues

Furthermore, many people who struggle with situational depression often have preexisting experiences with some sort of trauma that might contribute to their mood changes. Some possible experiences may be:

  • Existing mental health problems
  • Several difficult life experiences happening at once
  • Having gone through considerable stress as a child

So, take a good look at your life right now. Are you struggling with something? Is your child having issues at school? Is your marriage a mess? Are your parents ill? Anything that is out of the ordinary and which is making it more difficult to function.

If you are sad, and you are struggling with life events, you might be situationally depressed.

#3 – Know the symptoms of situational depression.

Most people with situational depression develop symptoms within roughly 90 days following the event that triggers the condition. Symptoms can include:

  • Listlessness
  • Hopelessness
  • Lack of enjoyment of regular activities
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Sadness
  • Recurring bouts of crying
  • Loss of interest in food
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Loss of Concentration
  • Withdrawal from work or friends
  • Suicidal thoughts

Symptoms of situational depression vary from person to person and usually include more than one of the symptoms above.

Review the list above carefully. If any of these things seem familiar to you then you might be struggling with situational depression and it ‘ s time to deal with it. Situational depression can cause severe disruption of your life if left untreated.

#4 – Know the best way to treat situational depression.

In many cases, situational depression will ease on its own. There are things that you can do in the meantimeto help relieve the symptoms. Getting exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, sharing your feelings and doing things that make you happy can all help ease your sense of sadness.

However, if your symptoms are seriously disrupting your life or not going away, it would be a good idea to talk to your Primary Care doctor about what is going on. It might be time to talk to a psychologist and/or get treated with some medication.

Either way, it is important that you pay attention to your moods so that you know if they are getting worse or better. It ‘ s often easy to lose sight of the fact that it ‘ s the depression that is making your life so bleak. We start to blame ourselves for not being strong enough or outgoing enough or smart enough when in fact our self-image is clouded by the depression.

Checking in with your moods regularly so that you can deal with them properly is an important part of dealing with your situational depression.

#5 – Know that you should have hope.

Some people with situational depression have symptoms for longer than 6 months. This is especially common when something else happens during the recovery period, which often happens because, well, this is life.

If yourdepression is seriously impacting your life, whether just for a few weeks or a few months, reach out to your doctor to get some support. Your life just might depend on it.

Luckily, for many, situational depression can abate quickly, especially if you make a special effort to take care of yourself, sleep and eat well, get exercise and hang out with those you love.

So, have some hope that your situational depression will most likely pass, that it won ‘ t be a part of your life forever. How you are feeling today is most likely not how you will feel in a month or two.

Combating situational depression is exhausting. Life is hard enough and being sad, overwhelmed and hopeless as well can be devastating.

Fortunately, dealing with situational depression is possible. Take a good look at your life and try to identify what might be causing your sadness. Knowing what the source of your sadness is the first step to dealing with it.

Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat and sleep well. Pay attention to your moods and manage them. Have hope that, with time or with treatment, it will pass and you will get your life back.

You can do it! I promise.

Are you combating situational depression?
Let me help!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

 

How To Make A Woman Feel Safe And Secure

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It ‘ s something that women always say they are looking for in a man, someone to make them ‘ ˜feel safe. ‘

And, of course, you want to give her that. What man wouldn ‘ t?

But how the hell do you do that? What makes a woman feel safe? Let me tell you ‘ ¦.

#1 – Listen to her.

The most important thing to make a woman feel safe is for her to know that you are listening to her.

That when she talks you are paying attention and understanding what she is saying and feeling.

While you might be inclined to think that you need to ‘ ˜fix ‘ her to make her feel safe, in reality really all she wants you to do is to listen and let her know that you are there for her.

So, next time your girl opens up to you, sit down and pay attention. Hold her hand, empathize with her feelings and confirm for her that you are there and that you always will be.

#2 – Do what you say you are going to do.

Are you one of those guys who doesn ‘ t always do what you say you are going to do?

Do you tell your girl that you will be home at 6 even if you aren ‘ t going to be home until 8 because you don ‘ t want to make her mad? Or that you will go pick out the windows for the house renovation, even though chances are good that you will have to work?

Often, for many men, they don ‘ t do what they say they are going to do because they are worried that if they speak the truth they will hurt or upset their woman.

In fact, the opposite is true. Men who don ‘ t do what they say they are going to do actually hurt their woman more and definitely don ‘ t make them feel safe.

So, make sure you do what you say you are going to do. Allow your woman to feel confident that she can rely on you to always be there for her. And make her feel safe.

#3 – Tell her how you feel about her.

Have you ever thought to yourself ‘ ˜I don ‘ t need to tell her how I feel about her. She knows. ‘

Do you take out the garbage faithfully, assuming that by doing so your woman will know you love her?

If the answer to either question is YES then you are wrong!

Telling your woman how you feel about her is a key component in making her feel safe. She might have a sense of how you feel but to actually hear the words come out of your mouth let ‘ s her know that you have her back. That you care about her enough to tell her and that she knows that she can count on you to be there for her.

#4 – Act like a man.

I know. I know. In this day and age men and women are equal. And my 23 year old daughter will kill me for saying this but the truth of the matter is that men can make women feel safe by just acting like themselves.

Men are genetically programmed to be protectors. The survival of the species depended on men protecting their women and children from predators. That instinct is not gone in this 21stcentury world.

I am not saying that you need to brandish your club and knock down anyone who messes with your girl but make sure that she knows that you are there for her, to reach the things that she can ‘ t reach, to carry that load that is just too much for her, to hold the door open when her hands are full and to get rid of that dead mouse carcass the cat dragged in.

Tap into your inner caveman, without letting him take you over completely, and allow your girl to feel safe.

#5 – Be honest.

The number one most important thing in making a woman feel safe is to be honest.

I said above that it is important that you always do what you say you are going to do but it is more than that.

For a woman to feel safe she needs to feel trust. And if you can ‘ t be honest with her she can never trust you.

So, if you can ‘ t get home for dinner, tell her. If you need to see your mother instead of going out with her friends, don ‘ t make an excuse. Tell her the truth. If you ran up the credit card debt or forgot to give the kids a bath or need some time on your own, be direct and up front. Tell her the truth, right away.

Let her know that she can rely on you to be honest and if you do she will feel safe.

If you want the girl of your dreams to love you forever, let her feel safe.

Listen to her, do what you say you are going to do, tell her how you feel about her, protect her and be honest.

I promise you. You make your girl feel safe and she is yours forever.

If you have read this far you must have a girl you want to feel safe and secure.
Let me help you, NOW, before she finds someone else!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

What to do When You are Feeling Too Depressed to Get Out of Bed

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Are you lying in bed again, feeling too depressed to get out of bed?

Are you feeling badly about yourself, thinking that you are a loser and that the world would be better off without you?

That ‘ s just not true! It ‘ s time to get out of your bed and get on with your life. It will be worth it. I promise!

But what can you do to give you the energy to get out of bed? Let me help!

#1 – Get laughing.

They do say that laughter is the best medicine and it ‘ s true!

When we are depressed we tend to isolate ourselves. The prospect of getting out of bed and actually interacting with people is too much for us to bear.

This is just exactly the opposite of what we should be doing. The physical act of smiling has actually been proven to lighten one ‘ s mood. How amazing is that?

Picture this. You can spend the rest of the day in bed, covers pulled up over your ears, mulling about how horrible the world is and how you are never going to do anything ever again. OR you can invite a friend over and laze around on your bed, laughing about whatever it is that you laugh about with them.

So, do what you can do to get some laughter going. If the idea of friends is just too much to bear, grab your laptop and binge watch The Office or Parks and Rec or Insecure and laugh hard and long.

Get those smile muscles activated and lift your mood immediately.

#2 – Do just one thing.

When we are depressed the idea of getting anything done at all is completely overwhelming. And so, what do we do? Nothing. And then how do we feel? Worse.

Try this: from your bed try to do just one thing. Perhaps it ‘ s checking your email. Or doing some research on a weekend away. Or shopping for a dress for your friend ‘ s wedding. You will be amazed at how doing just one thing can give you the energy to get out of bed.

Remember, choose something that you really like to do because if you try to do something that you feel like you MUST do, instead of WANT to do, then you will fail and feel worse about everything.

So, choose one thing that you like to do, something you can do from your bed. And do it.

#3 – Have sex.

There are two things that happen when you have sex. The first is that you feel emotionally connected to someone and the second is that your orgasm generates all sorts of feel good chemicals – chemicals that once again counteract that depressed feeling.

The other thing that happens is that sex keeps your mind off your depression and an excellent way to get rid of depression is to ignore it completely. Without your attention depression tends to slink away, unhappy that it isn ‘ t occupying your every

thought.
So, you are already in bed. Have sex. It will be fun!

#4 – Be kind to yourself.

Okay. You are depressed. And it sucks. But it is what it is. But don ‘ t judge yourself for it. Don ‘ t think that you are a horrible person because you can ‘ t fight this off. Don ‘ t think you are a loser because your sadness has brought you way down.

Instead, recognize that you are depressed and that you will have to ride it out. That getting depressed is something that is a part of your life and that you are not alone. Many people suffer from depression and it ‘ s not a sign of weakness. In fact, those who deal with depression are often far stronger than those who don ‘ t because life is just a little harder for us.

So, be kind to yourself. Recognize that this depression will pass and that you will become your old self again. You just need to use your coping skills to ride it out. You have gotten through it before and will get through it again.

#5 – Just get the $*% out of bed.

I know, I know, the inclination to stay under the covers, in the dark, away from the stimulation of the world is almost irresistible when you are depressed. Bed is comfy and cozy and not going to judge you in any way for how you are feeling.

If you are trapped in your bed, and nothing else works to change that, just GET OUT OF IT!

I know it seems impossible but if you can just do it you will be amazed at how much it can help your mood.

Once you are out of bed it ‘ s important that you stay out of bed. People I know who are depressed go to great lengths to stay out of bed once they have freed themselves from it.

I have known people to take their mattress off the box spring and lean it against the wall. Some people pile their mattress with books. Others strip the bed of the sheets.

Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed.

Because, out of bed, it ‘ s way more likely that you will actually be able to do something other than lay around, ruminating about how horrible you feel.

Go make coffee. Take the dog for a walk. Make your bed. Even if it doesn ‘ t lead to doing another thing, at least you got one thing done!

Feeling so depressed that you can ‘ t get out of bed is a horrible thing.

Hopefully, for you, it is a thing that will pass and life will go on.

Unfortunately, for some people, being so depressed that you can ‘ t get out of bed is something that happens regularly. Without attention it will keep happening.

It ‘ s important that if you are often feeling so depressed that you can ‘ t get out of your bed then it ‘ s important that you do one more thing:

#6 – Call your primary care doctor.

For people who are chronically laid low in bed by depression, it is important that you pick up the phone and call your primary care doctor.

Tell her that you are depressed and ask for her help in dealing with it. You might have chemical depression which can be helped with medication and therapy.

If your depression is taking over your life and keeping you in bed, call your doctor right away. You will be glad you did.

Are you feeling too depressed to get out of bed?
Let me help!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

 

5 Ways Relationship Boundaries And Expectations Can Hurt Your Relationship

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Relationship boundaries and expectations are often talked about as the key to successful relationships. What isn ‘ t often addressed is that relationship boundaries and expectations can hurt your relationship also.

Good relationship boundaries include the following: spending time apart, neither one of you being in charge, being flexible, displaying respect for each other, and staying yourself in the relationship. All of these sound great, right?

So, how is that possible? That something meant to make a relationship strong can also serve to weaken it?

Let me tell you ‘ ¦

#1 – You don ‘ t communicate clearly.

Relationship boundaries and expectations can hurt your relationship if they aren ‘ t communicated clearly to each other.

Imagine that for you to be happy in a relationship you need to spend time alone but you don ‘ t tell your partner that it ‘ s important for you. That spending time alone only enhances your feelings for your partner and improves your relationship.

Imagine how your need to be alone might make your partner feel? Perhaps your partner thinks that your need to be alone is a negative reflection of how you feel about them. Perhaps when you are off alone your partner is worried and miserable.

Can you see how that might not be so great for your relationship?

So, make sure that you and your partner set boundaries and expectations together and that you both understand clearly what they are.

#2 – Your expectations don ‘ t match.

Another way that relationship boundaries and expectations can hurt your relationship is if your boundaries and expectations don ‘ t match.

Let ‘ s say that you both know how important it is for you to remain yourself in a relationship. That if you aren ‘ t yourself you just don ‘ t feel happy, alone or together. But what if your partner believes that individuals in couples should work hard to change for the other person. That the individual no longer matters, only the couple.

If relationship boundaries and expectations don ‘ t match in a relationship, the relationship will be doomed unless both parties are willing to work together to make things work both of them.

#3 – Spending time apart doesn ‘ t work for everyone.

Spending time alone in relationship is a very important part of it being healthy. Couples who can enjoy time apart are usually very happy to come back together.

This is not always the case for some couples. Some individuals really struggle when they can ‘ t be with their partner. They are happy that their partner is doing his own thing but they are paralyzed by missing him. They do not take the opportunity to get out and do their own thing but instead sit at home, sad and growing resentful.

So, if one person can ‘ t handle the being alone part it can be very damaging to a relationship. If that occurs, work together to figure out a way for you to spend time on your own in a way that won ‘ t hurt your partner. Maybe do it around times when they already have plans. Or when they are away for work.

Spending time alone is important. Try hard to make it happen.

#4 – No one is in charge.

Making sure that no one person is in charge of a relationship is a key relationship boundary that keeps relationships happy. But it can also be fraught with issues.

When no one is captain of the ship it is possible for the ship to founder. If crew members are left on their own to make decisions independently, without taking into account the other crew members, disaster can happen.

The same can happen with relationships. When no one takes the lead in any one area, such as planning social events or doing work on the house, then, more likely than not, nothing will happen. And, when nothing happens, a relationship can get stagnant and stale pretty quickly.

So, divide and conquer. If something has to happen put one person in charge of taking the lead. It doesn ‘ t have to apply to everything, just the one event that is being addressed.

Don ‘ t let lack of leadership be a bad thing in your relationship.

#5 – You are your own person at the expense of the relationship.

Yes, being your own person in a relationship is very important. No one can be happy if they aren ‘ t being who they truly are.

Unfortunately, the need to be your own person can interfere with the health of a relationship.

In my marriage we had a struggle with this issue. I was the kind of person who was always polite and kind but also insisted on speaking my truth about what I wanted and confronting issues up front.

My ex, and his family, definitely didn ‘ t prescribe to my philosophy. They believed in fitting in with a crowd, going along with what the group wanted to do. They never addressed issues head on but rather said nothing, hoping it would all go away.

The struggle between me needing to be me and the needs of my ex-husband and his family was a profound one that ultimately led to the end of our marriage, I believe.

So, work hard to stay true to yourself in relationship but make sure that if it brings up any issues you are ready to face them head on with your partner before they ruin your relationship.

Good for you for wanting to keep your relationship healthy and doing the research, reading about boundaries and deciding how to apply them to your behaviors and your relationship. That is great work and should be applauded.

BUT, remember, if you don ‘ t share what you learned with your partner and tell them how you are going to apply them to your actions in relationship then you are doomed from the start.

Your partner might not understand why your behaviors are different or that they don ‘ t line up with his. Why is flexibility and respect so important to you? Why are you leaving him alone and insisting on being yourself? And if he doesn ‘ t understand that can definitely hurt a relationship.

So, set healthy relationship boundaries and expectations together and continually work to make sure they are helping your relationship and not hurting them!

Are you struggling with relationship boundaries and expectations?
They can be challenging. Let me help!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

 

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