Feeling Depressed All The Time? How To Know When It’s Time To Get Help

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Are you feeling depressed all the time? Are you not enjoying your life? Do you wish that things could be different?

Are your friends are telling you that it will pass. To snap out of it. But you are wondering if you can? Are you wondering if it ‘ s time to ask for help?

There are ways to tell if seeking help for your depression is the right thing for you.

#1 – Can you get out of bed or off the coach?

How much time do you spend on the couch or in bed? You aren’t necessarily tired but the prospect of getting up is just too daunting to face. So, you stay horizontal all day, watching Netflix and feeling like a loser.

This habit is a significant indicator of depression. People who have been diagnosed with depression tell of the great lengths they go to stay out of bed. Of stripping the sheets, taking the mattress off of the box spring and leaning it against the wall, locking the bedroom door. Whatever it takes to keep them out of bed and wallowing in their depression.

If you are feeling depressed all the time and finding that your bed is your favorite and safest place then it might definitely time to get help.

#2 – Do you still do the things you love?

Have you lost interest in doing the things that you have always loved?

Does the idea of going to school or seeing friends or going out to dinner just seem like too much to bear?

People who are feeling depressed all the isolate themselves. The energy that it takes to get out of bed and interact with others is overwhelming. So, they don’t.

Ironically, going out and doing the things that you love is a great way to alleviate depression temporarily. Unfortunately, the treatment can often seem too daunting to undertake and so people who are depressed just stay home.

If you are isolating yourself then it might definitely be time to seek help.

#3 -Are you feeling hopeless and full of dread?

Do you spend much of your time running all sorts of negative thoughts through your head about how horrible your life is? What a loser you are and how no one will ever love you? Are you 100% confident that this will never change?

People who are depressed believe that all of the negative thoughts that run through their head. Unfortunately, they also believe, falsely, that it will always be this way!

The truth is is that when one is depressed things can only seem hopeless because when one ‘ s mind is in such a bad place it ‘ s impossible to believe that the future will be any different.

The good news is that once the depression is addressed that feeling of hopelessness can disappear completely so perhaps it ‘ s time to get help!

#4 – Are you impatient or quick to anger?

Do you find yourself losing your patience with those you love? Do you scream at your kids if their homework doesn’t get done? Do you sneer at your husband if he asks you what is wrong? Can you not even talk to your mom anymore because her incessant questioning is just too much?

Impatience with those you love is a huge indicator of depression. The sense of the hopelessness that our condition will never change and that we are worthless makes it intolerable for us to interact with others, particularly those who love us and want the best for us.

Ironically, it is that love exactly that we need most in our life when we suffer from depression. Pushing that love away ultimately can make the depression worse.

If you are finding yourself pushing away those you love it ‘ s time to get help.

#5 – Are you eating and sleeping?

Have you found that recently your appetite has changed? Do you find yourself indulging more than usual in Ben and Jerry ‘ s and Oreos? Or do you find that you have no taste for food at all? Have you lost weight and find yourself listless because you aren’t eating?

Are you having trouble sleeping? Do you stay up all night watching TV or roll around in bed thinking about terrible things?

Changes in eating patterns can indicate depression. When depression goes untreated, we can self-medicate with food, often to one extreme or another. Which is not healthy and can make it all worse.

Furthermore, not sleeping will only make your depression worse. Sleep deprivation can have more of an effect on one ‘ s health than anyone else.

If you are struggling with eating and/or sleeping then you are definitely depressed and it might be time to get treated.

Feeling depressed all the time is not good and the longer it goes untreated the worse it can get.

Unfortunately, we hate to admit to being depressed because our loved ones, and society as a whole, tend to stigmatize those with depression.

So, ask yourself if you have any of the symptoms above. If you do, seek professional help immediately. Call your primary care provider and tell her exactly how you have been feeling, using this article as a reference if you like. Treating depression is easy. Living with it is not.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with feeling depressed all the time.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

How To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

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Are you in a toxic relationship? Are you struggling big time and recognizing that this relationship is ruining your life?

Many of us are in toxic relationships, ones we can ‘ t escape, ones that are keeping us from living our full lives, from living and loving and being our best self.

We only have one life to live and we need to make sure that we live it to the fullest, even if we are in a toxic relationship that is holding us back.

How?

#1 – Love yourself.

Many of us who are in toxic relationship believe that we are not worthy and are full of self-hatred.

Years of being berated by our partner, told that we are worthless and stupid and total losers, has taken a huge toll on our self-esteem. Furthermore, we know that we have stayed in this relationship, even though we are being abused, and that erodes our self-confidence even more.

It is important that, if we are in a toxic relationship that is ruining our life, we make an effort to love ourselves. That we set goals for ourselves and stick to them. That we take care of ourselves, getting exercise and eating right. That we practice self-care – whether it be a massage or a walk in the woods.

Most importantly, it is essential that we spend time with people who love us. Who remind us about how wonderful we really are. Who support us in every way and help us navigate the world no matter what.

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, make an effort to love yourself every day. You deserve it.

#2 – Don ‘ t take all the blame.

I know that you have been told over and over that everything that is wrong in your relationship is all your fault. I know that you believe that if you were only more patient or gave them more sex or made them happier everything would be fine.

Let me tell you that this just isn ‘ t true. There are two people in every relationship so, yes, you shoulder some of the blame but it ‘ s definitely not all on you, no matter what you have been told.

Managing self-blame, recognizing that it is a false premise, will help you to love yourself and make you stronger in a relationship. It will allow you to take some power back so that you can not only survive but thrive as you live your life.

#3 – Get help.

Many of us who are struggling in toxic relationships are ashamed and, therefore, go it alone. Even if we are aware that we need help, we hesitate to reach out for it because of our shame and self-blame. We fear being judged and we don ‘ t see what kind of help could make a difference.

Asking for help is the best way to survive a toxic relationship before it ruins your life. Even though we women are strong, even the strongest of us need help when we are feeling desperate.

So, reach out to someone who can help and support you. Your priest, your doctor, your psychiatrist, your life coach, your lawyer or your family. Get help understanding what your options are as far as this relationship – what you need to do to keep your life together in spite of the pain.

#4 – Leave.

You are probably scoffing at me right now. Yeah, right you are thinking. And I get that.

I know that it seems like you could never leave this relationship. That you still love this person. That you have put so much time into it that walking away seems stupid. That you don ‘ t believe in giving up and want to keep trying. Whatever the reasons are, leaving seems untenable.

Leaving is ALWAYS an option. Your life is short, too short to waste in a relationship that is making you unhappy.

If physical fear is holding you back, there are groups out there that can help you escape from your toxic relationship. If fear about what the future holds is what is keeping you stuck, consider what would be better – the ways things are now or how things could be if you were free.

There are always options for women stuck in toxic relationships. Seek out the help you need to make it happen.

#5 – Have hope.

I know that right now you are feeling trapped. That your every day is filled with unhappiness and, perhaps, fear. You wonder if you can ever leave this relationship, ever be happy again.

I am here to tell you that it is more than possible to find happiness in your life. That you too can feel good about yourself, find a love that will make you happy and live the life that you have always wanted.

I have this game I play. I look at women in line at the grocery store and try to figure out which of them are single and which are in an unhappy relationship. I can always tell the difference. Women who are in toxic relationships seems to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. They look grim and gray and unhappy. They are living with a toxic relationship and it is sucking the life out of them.

When you look at women who are single, who have escaped a relationship that makes them unhappy, you see an air about them of lightness and peace. Even though they are alone, for now, they know that life is theirs for the taking.

And women who carry a lightness and peace, who are self-confident after taking the steps to leave a relationship that doesn ‘ t feed them, who have let go of self-blame and have people to support them, are women who will find love and happiness. Love and happiness that will help them live the life they have always wanted.

Being in a toxic relationship can destroy your life.

Women who are unhappy can struggle at work, aren ‘ t the best mothers they can be, lose friends and have trouble with their mental and physical health.

If you are in a toxic relationship, work hard to love yourself, work to let go of self-blame, get help, around leaving if you need it, and have faith that you can be happy. That you can find a love that feeds you and that you can live your very best life.

You can do it! I know it ‘ ¦

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with surviving a toxic marriage.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

How to Move On After Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn’t Love You Back

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Are you struggling after letting go of someone who doesn ‘ t love you back?

Have you walked away from someone you loved because you know they don ‘ t love you?

Do you know that you did the right thing but are you still struggling with the pain and self doubt? I get it.

I have been there. Let me help you get through it.

#1 – Check your story.

8 years ago, my husband walked out on me for his college girlfriend. We had been married for 20 years and I was devastated. I raged on about how he could do this to me, to our children? I was angry and sad and out for revenge.

And then a friend gently reminded me that my story was perhaps a little bit off track. Yes, he had walked out on me and that was completely unacceptable. BUT we had been really, really unhappy for a long time. Our kids were headed off to school and neither one of us knew if we were ready to reconnect. It was entirely possible that we would have ended up divorced anyway.

Keeping this in mind, that I wasn ‘ t a victim but a partner in a marriage that had slowly fallen apart, helped me to accept the end of our relationship. The leaving me for someone else without even trying piece of it still stings but the truth is that our marriage was most likely doomed and I am way better off. He is her problem now.

#2 – Take inventory.

One of the first thing I tell all of my clients when they have to walk away from someone they love is to make a list – a list of all of the reasons that they need to walk away from that person.

When we spend time with someone, we are regularly exposed to those things that remind us that we need to walk away. When we finally get away from that person, those things tend to recede into our memory. They get replaced in the forefront of our mind with the good things, the good times, all the things that we loved about that person. And, with the good things at the front of our minds, we are vulnerable to returning to the relationship that is causing us pain.

So, make a list. Make a list of everything that you can think of that is making you walk away from the person that you love. Keep that list close and refer to it when you are missing him.

You left this relationship for a reason. Keep those reasons in mind daily going forward.

#3 – No contact. None.

I know that we all think that we need ‘ closure ‘ at the end of a relationship, that final conversation where everyone gets to say what they want to say and you understand each other and walk away as friends.

I am here to tell you that closure is a myth. What closure really is is one last chance to spend time with and talk to that person you still love.

Because really, if you could have a conversation and finally understand each other why couldn ‘ t you make it work as a couple?

So, when you have decided that the relationship is over cut him off. Block him on your phone, disconnect on social media, stay away from places where you know he will be.

Why? Because what you need to do is break the addiction you have to this person, to change your habits.

Think about Oreo cookies. You know how hard it is to eat just one? It ‘ s the same with your man. Even one point of contact can draw you back into his circle, the circle that you have decided that you are determined to break yourself out of.

So, gono contact right away. It will make the process way easier!

#4 – Do THAT thing.

Another thing to do with all of that free time is to start doing something that you have always wanted to do. Don ‘ t sit around feeling sorry for your empty space – do something with it.

A client of mine broke up with a man she loved desperately but who couldn ‘ t commit to her. She was devastated.

I asked her to name a few things that she had always wanted to do. One of the things that she came up with was writing. In this day and age, it is quite possible to write and get what you write out to the masses without going through the process of publishing a book or getting a magazine to publish your article. You can simply write a blog and post it to a variety of platforms available online.

My client started writing about her broken heart, what happened, her insights about what she could have done differently, the way she felt with him gone from her life. It was hard work for her, emotionally, but soon she started to get a following. Other women who were going through the same things appreciated her written words and started commenting on her articles. As a result, she built a small community of women who supported each other through the rough times.

What is it that you have always wanted to do? Pick one thing and start doing it. You have the time. Life is short. Don ‘ t waste it!

#5 – Comfort yourself.

When your heart is broken and you feel like your life is over, one of the best things that you can do is self-care. Your body and your spirit may feel broken but some nurturing will help them heal.

When my husband left me, I was left devastated and alone. My house was empty, my kids were gone and my husband no longer came home at the end of the day. My days were endless and I didn ‘ t know how I was going to survive being alone.

One day, a Groupon appeared in my inbox from Massage Envy, offering a 60 minute massage for $40. I had nothing to do so I bought the Groupon and I made an appointment for a massage. That massage was one of the best hours of my life. I was in a warm room, on a cozy table and I had a lovely woman attending to my aches and pains, making me feel loved and cared for.

I realized that day, when I am emerged from the spa feeling rejuvenated and alive, that doing things that comforted me was what I would need to help me moving forward. From that day on, I would spend some time every day doing things to take care of myself. I did yoga, went for walks, spent time antiquing with girlfriends and drank whiskey by the fire on cold winter nights.

By nurturing myself, by loving myself, I was able to get the strength that I needed to let go of the loss of my marriage.

#6 – Believe your love is out there for you.

I find this to be the number one obstacle to my clients breaking up with someone who doesn ‘ t love them – believing they will never find love again.

Almost without exception, people who are in relationships that aren ‘ t making them happy don ‘ t leave because they believe that there will never be another person for them. That, if they break up with this person, they will be alone forever!

But that just isn ‘ t true. There are many, many fish in the sea and there is one for you.

Of course, if you never have a chance to go fishing, because you are still with this idiot who doesn ‘ t love you, then you, won ‘ t find that person. But if you can be brave enough to act, and break up with said idiot, then you will be setting yourself up for finding the love of your life.

Moving on after letting go of someone who doesn ‘ t love you back is a very hard thing to do.

You still love them but you know that you must let them go because of the pain they are causing you. It will be difficult but it is possible!

Make sure that your break up story is a true one, take stock of why are you leaving him for future reference, cut him off, do something amazing, take care of yourself and believe. I can promise you that your guy is out there! You will find him if you can let go of this guy and find yourself again!

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with letting go of someone who doesn’t love you back.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before the pain overwhelms you.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

How and Why Establishing Boundaries Before Marriage Can Build A Stronger Bond

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Have your friends been telling you that establishing boundaries before marriage is a very important of a successful marriage?

Do you want to have be happily married but do you have NO IDEA what boundaries are and how and why to set them up before marriage?

Let me help!

To understand healthymarriage boundaries look at the four walls of your house. Those walls are the structure that holds your life together. They hold your food and your bed and your possessions and it ‘ s where you live your life. Healthy marriage boundaries are the same as those four walls of your house. They are the things that support your marriage as it matures. To have a healthy relationship, one that can grow and be fruitful, it is important that it has structures, boundaries, that support it.

Boundaries come in all sorts of shapes and colors. Here are a few of the essential ones.

#1 – Always be true to yourself.

For many people, when they are married, they become less of themselves.

Many people, men and women, take on their spouse ‘ s friendships, their hobbies and their ways of doing things.

It is VERY important that all peoplestay themselveswhen in a relationship.

Why? Because every healthy relationship is based on truth and if you are anything other than your true self your marriage will never be really healthy.

It is also important that you continue to respect yourself and you will respect yourself by being yourself. By continuing to have your friends, to do your own hobbies, to have a career that you love and a healthy lifestyle that serves you, you will wake up every day feeling good about yourself.

And, when you feel good about yourself, your partner will love you even more because he knows you are being your true self, someone who is ambitious and smart and willing to take risks to get what she wants.

So, be yourself in your relationship. A healthy marriage requires it.

#2 – Practice compromise.

I have a client whose new husband moved into a house that she already owned. Right away they had issues because it was her house and she wanted to do things her way and that just wasn ‘ t okay with him.

It is important that everyone be flexible in a relationship. Just like you would at work or with your family, it is important to work with your partner so that you can both live a life that is authentic to you.

You know the phrase ‘ My way or the highway? ‘ That phrase has no place in any healthy marriage.

#3 – Maintain mutual respect.

One of the biggest romance killers in a marriage is lack of respect and contempt.

The saying ‘ ˜familiarity breeds contempt ‘ is an accurate one and something that happens in many marriages over the years.

It is important in every relationship that you each respect each other. Respect each other within the confines of your relationship by speaking to each other honestly, sharing your feelings and needs in an open way. By not attacking each other personally and criticizing each other ‘ s behaviors and actions.

Furthermore, it ‘ s important to not criticize your partner out in the world. The general rule of thumb is that you not tell something about your partner to anyone that you haven ‘ t already shared with your partner.

So, make sure you treat each other with respect, both inside and outside the relationship.

#4 – Don ‘ t give up your power.

In many marriages it happens that at some point one person becomes the one calling the shots. And while this seems to work on one level, ultimately the relationship will become uneven. And when power dynamics are unequal, a marriage can change.

Make an effort to keep the decision making even and fair in your marriage. If you are good at organizing your social life then do that but give him opportunity to choose events. If he is good at managing the finances let him do that but continue to have input into where the money goes and why.

Letting your marriage ‘ s playing field become uneven allows it to slip into a sort of parent/child dynamic, where one person is in charge and the other does as they are told. Does that sound like a healthy relationship to you?

Not so much.

#5 – Spend time apart.

When they are falling in love, couples want to spend every available minute together. The feelings that accompany falling in love are addictive and hard to walk away from even for a short while.

It is important, however, that you spend time apart from the one you love.

You know the old saying ‘ ˜absence makes the heart grow fonder? ‘ It ‘ s true!

So, spend some time apart. Miss each other. Value each other. Keep that spark alive.

Now that you know what boundaries looking like we can address why establishing boundaries before marriage is important for a healthy one.

#1 – It helps you know if you are compatible.

Establishing boundaries before you are married is important because, in doing so, you will understand whether or not you are compatible.

In spite of what many women believe, things won’t change when you get married – habits and behaviors that exist pre-marriage will carry over into marriage

If you try to establish boundaries after marriage, and you don ‘ t agree on the how or why of them, then you will be stuck with someone who spending your life with might be difficult. Love is important in marriage but it only goes so far.

So, talk to your partner and spend some time defining your boundaries. Doing so will allow you both to confirm that this marriage is the right choice for you.

#2 – You ‘ ve been practicing.

If you work on establishing boundaries before marriage, when you actually get married you will have been practicing those boundaries, learning what works and what doesn’t. You will have established behaviors and practices that work for both of you, that keep you happier together.

So, when the wedding is over and the birdseed has been thrown, you can feel confident that you can ride off into the sunset together, knowing what is important to both of you and that you both can do the work!

#3 – You are a team.

After marriage comes extended family and babies. Having established boundaries will help you stay strong as a couple while facing these challenges.

Extended families are wonderful and sometimes not so much. Traditions that have been established in one family sometimes don ‘ t work in other families. Mother-in-laws mean well but can be interfering. Babies completely rock your world in so many ways.

If you have a truly strong bond that is the result of the boundaries that you have established, you will have a much better chance of riding out those challenges together.

Establishing boundaries before marriage is a key part building a strong bond between the two of you.

I know that we all think that we have found our soul mate and best friend and that nothing can possibly come between us but the reality is is that marriage is long and hard and it takes work.

If you know what to expect from, and of, each other before you are married then you will have a much better chance of truly being happy.

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must be wondering about establishing boundaries in marriage.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before it’s too late.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

The Difference Between Letting Go of Someone and Giving Up

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I can ‘ t tell you how many of my clients tell me that letting go of someone is impossible because they don ‘ t want to give up.

They believe that if they can just keep trying, the person they love will finally be the person they want them to be and they will live happily ever after.

From a young age, we are told to never give up and, to a degree, this is good advice. BUT when it comes to relationships it is not necessarily so.

Why?

#1 – You are not the only one involved.

When you are set on finding a job, or finishing a race or losing ten pounds, the person in charge of the outcome is you and only you. It is up to you to set a goal to and reach it no matter what obstacles get in your way.

When you are in a relationship that is troubled, there are two people there. And, while you can absolutely be in charge of your actions and your reactions, you can ‘ t control those of your partner.

Perhaps you decide to take special care to look nice and be kind but your person still treats you like you are ugly and says horrible things to you. Or perhaps you decide that you will be supportive of him no matter how bad his decisions are and still his bad decisions affect your life every day.

OR, perhaps your person is trying to change his behavior but the change that he is making isn ‘ t working for you or perhaps it ‘ s not what you want. As a result, the relationship isn ‘ t getting any healthier.

So, remember, when you are chiding yourself for ‘ ˜giving up, ‘ don ‘ t! There are two of you in this relationship and both of you need to try to make it work.

#2 – You aren ‘ t a superhero.

Yes, we have been told that we must never give up. But sometimes, it ‘ s time to do just that.

For many of my clients, their relationships have gotten so bad that their physical and mental health are being affected. They are doing everything that they can do to save their relationship but their efforts are failing and the relationship is doomed.

In spite of their Herculean efforts, they just can ‘ t make it work.

Recognize this about yourself. Have you done everything conceivable to try to save your relationship but are you still hitting a brick wall? If so, recognize that there are some things that you just can ‘ t change, no matter how hard you try.

Letting go of someone might be exactly what you need to do!

3 – Is it just an excuse?

I ask this of many of my clients – ‘ ˜Are you telling me that you don ‘ t want to give up because you just don ‘ t want let go? ‘

Letting go of someone is a very difficult thing to do. We are scared of the pain that we know we will feel when we break up and we are scared that we will never be loved again. As a result, we make every excuse in the world, including one that makes us sound strong, to stay in the relationship.

So, ask yourself – are you really worried about ‘ ˜giving up ‘ or is it a reason to stay, even if you aren ‘ t happy? Letting go of someone is hard but not impossible.

4 – Would it be so bad?

Ok, so think about climbing a mountain.

You can see the top, and you are dying to get there, but a mile or so back you twisted your ankle and it ‘ s getting more and more swollen. The pain is awful and you aren ‘ t sure you can go another step.

What do you do? Do you keep going even though you know if you do you might not be able to hike down? Or do you turn back, knowing that it ‘ s the best thing for your mental and physical health?

It ‘ s the same with relationships. If your relationship is causing you mental and physical harm, perhaps it ‘ s just time to let go. Let go so that you can be healthy and happy and functional in the world.

Sometimes, letting go of someone, ‘ ˜giving up, ‘ is the healthiest, strongest choice you can make!

Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things to do in the world to do.

The fear of the pain that you might feel is just too much to bear.

But letting go is not the same as giving up.

Remember, there are two of you in this relationship, you can ‘ t fix everything yourself, you might be using ‘ ˜giving up ‘ as an excuse and, really, at the end of the day, would ‘ ˜giving up ‘ be so bad? If you have someone who you need to let go of, do so.

Giving up someone who is causing you pain is a sign of strength, not of weakness!

If you ‘ ve made it this far you must really be struggling with letting go of someone.

Let me help get you there, NOW, before you get even more stuck.

Email me at [email protected], or click here, and let’s get started!

Surviving Online Infidelity: Are Cyber Affairs Any Less Harmful?

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Are you struggling with surviving online infidelity?

Has the person you loved strayed from your relationship by corresponding with another person online?

Are you wrestling with your feelings and not really sure if what you are feeling is okay? Are you wondering if maybe you shouldn ‘ t be as upset as you are because it ‘ s just an online relationship? It ‘ s not like they had sex or anything.

Let me help you! Surviving online infidelity is possible but first there are some things that you should know.

#1 – Affairs aren ‘ t all about sex.

For many people, the definition of an affair is when one person has sex with another person outside of the relationship.

The reality, however, is quite different.

Experts say that an affair begins when someone starts sharing things that they aren ‘ t sharing with someone else.

One of my clients remembers the time when she told the person she eventually had an affair with that she was depressed. She had never said those words out loud before. That started it all.

Why does this sharing mark the beginning of an affair? Because it creates an intimacy between the two people, one that might be more than that of the original relationship.

Online affairs are all about intimacy. All about sharing feelings and thoughts and hopes and dreams. It can often lead to a deep love, one that is not about sex. And that can be scarier, in many ways.

#2 – Online affairs can be more intense.

Online relationships can, in many ways, be more intense.

Because there is no face-to-face contact, but only words shared, there is a tension that builds between the two people. When people have a physical affair, tension can be released after sex. When people have no physical release, the tension just continues to grow.

And with the increase in tension, there is an increase in intensity and which makes the affair more dangerous because the feelings intensify.

Many people who leave their partners for someone they have never met face to face do so because the intensity is so compelling that it drives them to make big, stupid, life changes.

So, don ‘ t kid yourself that, because these two are far away from each other, the relationship can ‘ t be that strong. It actually might be stronger than you realize.

#3 – Any kind affair kills trust.

One of the most important parts of any healthy relationship is trust. When affairs happen, trust is violated, perhaps forever.

Since you discovered your partner ‘ s infidelity do you check your their phone and email regularly? Do you question where they are going when they leave the house? Do you obsess about whether he is lying to you about what is happening?

All of these things are evidence that trust has been broken in your relationship. The first step towards surviving online infidelity is rebuilding trust.

#4 – How hurt are you?

When asking yourself whether online infidelity is any less harmful than a physical affair, it ‘ s important to note how you are feeling.

Are you hurt? Are you sad? Are you indifferent?

For many, learning about an online affair can be devastating. Knowing that their partner has shared any intimacy with another person can be incredibly painful.

For others, however, their partner having an online affair doesn ‘ t carry much significance. They have their person every day to come home to. They have sex with them. They share the finances. They are still a couple. The person on the other end of the internet line is just a person who gets nothing but words. And for many people, they are almost happy that their partner has another outlet – that they don ‘ t have to responsible for holding their feelings constantly.

So, how do you feel about what you have discovered? If you are hurt, then, yes, the online affair is harmful. If not, then perhaps you can just not make a big deal of it and move on.

#5 – Infidelity can destroy your relationship.

Whether it ‘ s online or physical, an affair can have the power to destroy your relationship.

The breakdown of trust, the displaced intimacy, the intenseness of the new relationship and the profound hurt that you might feel, all of these can result in the permanent destruction of your relationship.

If there can be a silver lining of an online affair it ‘ s that distance can be a help in trying to end it. When affairs are face-to-face they can be harder to break off because of people might still be thrown together at work or in town or at a party. With an online affair, it might be as simple as blocking or unfriending someone and then it ‘ s over.

But, don ‘ t be naïve. Letting go of an affair is not something that happens easily. People who have affairs become addicted to them. They fall in love with the person they are in the relationship – a woman or man – not a husband or a father or an employee. And that is very hard to let go of!

Surviving an online affair is possible.

It is important, however, that you recognize an online affair for what it is – an affair that can be more intense than a sexual one, that causes the breakdown of trust, that hurts you deeply and that can end your relationship.

It is possible to find your way back to your original relationship, with therapy, communication and restoration of trust but it can and will be challenging.

Now that you understand what an online affair is all about, you can take the next steps and decide if you want to work with your partner to heal or if it ‘ s time to move on.

Do youwant to know surviving online infidelity?
Let me help you, NOW, so you can get started!
Email me at [email protected] and let’s get started!

 

 

 

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