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5 Ways To Be More Productive In Life & Work

March 9, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


So there aren ‘ t enough hours in the day, are there? There are school lunches to be made, buses to be caught, meetings to attend, dogs to be walked, homework to be done, mothers to be called, and TV shows to catch up on. The list is endless and impossible to manage.

Or is it?

Believe it or not there are ways to get on top of your to-do list.

5 Ways To Be More Prodcutive:

Here are 5 best ways to be more productive in life and work.

#1 – Use a notebook.

A spiral bound notebook. A notebook that makes you happy to look at and that you don ‘ t want to lose. This is the key to being productive. Every organized person you know has one.

It is in this notebook that you keep your to-do list. When something new comes up, you add it to your list. The to-do list in your notebook.

You do not keep your to-do list on paper that gets lost between the car seats or eaten by the dog. Your to-do list is in a notebook you can ‘ t throw away and refuse to lose track of.

#2 – Set priorities.

Every morning take 10 minutes to review your to-do list and to set priorities. You can do this by starring or highlighting the things on your list that you need to get done that day.

Many of us do first the things on our list that we don ‘ t mind doing and don ‘ t do what needs to be done.

Jill HATED making phones calls to set up appointments. As a result she never did set up appointments, so her dishwasher didn ‘ t get fixed, her son missed his doctor ‘ s appointment, and her daughter ‘ s permission slip didn ‘ t get signed. Once she started setting her priorities Jill 1) didn ‘ t have to make all of her phones calls at the same time but made them when they needed to be made (which made them less daunting) and 2) things that usually fell through the cracks (and did more work for her) no longer fell through the cracks.

#3 – Say No!

This is key. It is very, very hard for us to say no. We don ‘ t want to say no for various reasons, whether it ‘ s because we want to do something or we feel like we should do something or we think we need to do something. But before you say yes, look at why you are saying yes.

Janet always said yes, no matter what was asked of her. She liked to keep busy and didn ‘ t want to let anyone down. But of course she ended up letting everyone down because she couldn ‘ t be as effective at her tasks as she might have been. Once she started looking at why she was saying yes, and why she wasn ‘ t saying no, she could pick and choose what she said yes to. Once she did that, she managed her time more effectively and successfully completed each task.

#4 – If it takes less than 10 minutes, DO IT.

Next time you have a few minutes, while waiting for the bus to arrive, or for a phone call to come in or while the kids are watching TV, look at your list. Is there anything on it that you can get done in 10 minutes or less? If there is, DO IT! It ‘ s those little things that are daunting and tend to add up.

And let me tell you, from personal experience, there is nothing more mood-enhancing then crossing something off your list.

#5 – Check your computer only 3 times a day.

Yes, I know. This is the hard one. We are all addicted to our screens. Totally. And I am sure you are familiar with the phenomenon known as ‘ screen sucking. ‘ This is when your computer/phone/tablet screen sucks up your time before you know it. A great way to add time to your day is to stay away from your screen.

I have a client who used to check her phone every moment she got at the expense of everyone and everything around her. She checked it three times a day for one week at my suggestion: once in the morning, once at mid-day and once after dinner. It was painful in the beginning, she reported, but by the end of the week the amount of time she had to be productive had dramatically increased. So try it for one week. See what happens.

There are 24 hours in our day, and everyone should sleep for 8. That leaves you 16 hours a day to use wisely. If you do, your life will be simpler, you will be happier, and those around you will thrive.

Remember- work smarter, not harder. If you feel constantly overwhelmed with your daily tasks to the point where your life is not joyful, let’s talk.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

How To Make your Husband Feel Loved: 5 Best Ideas

March 3, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Being a mom and a partner can be tough.

From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world.

Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born, you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case, and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, which can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

How To Make Your Husband Feel Loved:s

It is possible to to find ways to make your husband feel loved. Here are some ways to start!

#1 – Make sure you speak their language.

Most of us express our love for our partners the way we want to be loved. If we like hugs, we give them to our partner, hoping they will feel our love for them. Or we might give them gifts, showing them that we are attached to them.

Unfortunately, this tactic can fail because, despite our efforts, if our partner needs something different to feel loved, then our efforts will fall flat.

Fortunately, there is a tool at hand that will help you learn to understand ways to make your husband feel loved.

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. If you can understand what your partner needs to feel loved, then you can do those things instead of what you need. And they will feel loved.

I would encourage both of you should go to the 5 Love Languages website,www.5lovelanguages.com, and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

I works. Big time. I promise.

#2 – Use your words.

I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their husband that they love them and my client says, ‘ He knows that I love do. ‘

Maybe this is true, and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your husband in the eye and tell him daily that you love them.

It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful, or that you miss them. They might ‘ know it ‘ already, but words are very meaningful.

A client’s of mine never heard from her spouse when he was away, and it was very painful because she missed him. They argued about it almost every time he left, but she wasn’t clear why she wanted to hear from him, so he didn’t change his behavior. I suggested that she tell him she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone.

She says he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

So use your words to express your feelings. You will be happy you did.

#3 – Touch him.

Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person.

Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies; that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your husband.

Touch him when he walks in the door, take his hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around him when you go to sleep at night.

Touching your partner will speak volumes about your love for them.

#4 – Be kind.

I know this seems basic, but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life.

I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm that was hard to repair.

A man and woman sitting at a table with a laptop.

I have a client who came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old, and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn ‘ t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, ‘ no. ‘

She intended to be kind that day, and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom.

You know the saying, ‘ If you love someone, set them free. ‘

Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. However, this clinginess can drive someone away because your partner will resent your need to constantly have them by your side.

You should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once before we became a couple and then a family, and it ‘ s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and parent.

I know that looking for ways to make your husband feel love can feel like a lot of effort and something what will add a lot of stress to your life.

But doing so is important.

Stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner every day, as you navigate this crazy world. Pretty good.

Are you looking for ways to make your husband feel loved?

Let me help you learn some tools, NOW, before it goes too far!

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

The 5 Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

February 4, 2016/1 Comment/by Mitzi Bockmann


You know that you aren ‘ t satisfied with your chaotic, jam-packed life. You wake up in the morning drained and dreading the day. You are impatient with your friends and co-workers because you have too much on your mind.

You yell at your kids when bedtime gets delayed because you know that you have many things to do that you don ‘ t want to do. You are not happy, and you want to change that.

Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

In this article I will tell you the 5 greatest obstacles that will keep you from reaching your dreams. You will be surprised how simple it is to overcome these obstacles!

#1 – Not knowing what your dream is.

We all know we want to be ‘ happy, ‘ but most of us cannot define that. So make a list. Be specific. Knowing what your goals are makes it much easier to get there.

#2 – Listening to what our brains are telling us.

Our brains can be our biggest enemy. Our brains will tell us that we can ‘ t change, that we can ‘ t achieve anything worthwhile, that all is hopeless. These are all lies, but we are hardwired to believe them. Learning not to listen to what our brain tells us is very important. When I started thinking about being a life coach, my brain tried to talk me out of it daily. I learned to tell it to just shut up.

#3 – Listening to what other people are telling us.

Whether we ask for it or not, we are constantly inundated with other peoples opinions. What we shouldn ‘ t do is believe everything that we are told. People bring their own experiences to a conversation ‘ ¦someone might have tried and failed at what you are trying to do so they will tell you that it ‘ s hopeless. People aren ‘ t stop telling you what to do but you can take it all with a grain of salt and do what YOU think you should do (taking into account #2 above).

#4 – Lack of accountability.

Ok, think New Years Resolutions. You make them on January 1st and intend to follow through on them. By January 31st, or 15th, those intentions are gone. This is because you have no one to hold you accountable. No one to make sure that you follow through. Your friends can try but they have their resolutions to let go of. You need accountability to follow through effectively.

#5 – Life.

Yes, the chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting life that moms, and every woman, leads everyday. That life is what interfered with us reaching our dreams in the first place and what allows us to keep putting them off ‘ until things quiet down. ‘ I am here to tell you that things will never quiet down. You need to make time to reach your dreams or you will never do so.

So there you go. The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams. They are pretty simple. Not one of these challenges is beyond your abilities to overcome. All it takes is some knowledge, intention and guidance.

 

Overcoming these challenges in order to reach your dreams can be tough for many people, and it’s often much less challenging with some guidance. If you’d like help figuring out your dreams and paving a way to reach them, get in touch for your first free session with me.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

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I am a New York City-based Certified Life Coach with 10 years experience as a working life coach. I am certified through the Coach Training Alliance and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. These people have succeeded at, among other things, restoring the love in their relationships, getting to know themselves again and finding their place in the world.

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