Let Your Dreams Begin
  • Home
  • Work with Me
    • Free Session
    • Course
    • e-Book
  • About Mitzi
  • Success Stories
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Search
  • Menu Menu

How To Stop Fighting With Your Husband In 2023 (5 Best Ways)

June 9, 2016/2 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Are you wondering how to stop fighting with your husband? Has the frequency and intensity of your fighting grown over time? Do you want to stop fighting so that you can find your way back to each other?

Conflict. We all have it.

We get angry with our mothers, friends, bosses, and kids. It is our husbands, those we have chosen to love and cherish for a lifetime, with whom we seem to get the angriest. And this conflict, this anger, with our husbands can be very destructive and get in the way of living the life of our dreams.

Best Ways To Stop Fighting With Your Husband:

However, there are ways to get through conflict, which is way easier than one would think.

#1 – Carefully choose the time to talk.

This is key.

If you talk to your husband angrily, you will say things you might not mean to say. Words said in the heat of the moment tend to cause much pain and are not necessarily accurate.

Try to wait at least 2 hours after a disturbance before speaking up. This will give you a chance to calm down and speak more clearly. If you can talk calmly about precisely what you are upset about, then you will be more likely to be able to work it out and not let the quarrel escalate.

Also, don ‘ t pick a known stressful time to talk, like during bedtime or just after work. Pick a time when you are calm and can approach the conversation with good energy instead of evil. Calm time can be hard to find, but you can find it when adequately motivated.

#2 – Do not attack.

This is very important and something that many of us do without thinking. And it gets us nowhere.

Let ‘ s say that your husband is always getting home from work late. Instead of saying, ‘ You are always late. Why do you have to be such a jerk? ‘ try saying, ‘ It makes me sad when you are always home late from work. I work hard to get us all together for a family dinner, and I miss it when you aren ‘ t there. ‘

Look carefully at the difference here. If you use the first example, your husband will immediately get on the defensive, and the conversation will end before it begins.

A man and woman playing wii in the kitchen.

In the second example, you are sharing how you FEEL, and no one can argue with how you FEEL. And how you feel is the truth.

What is not the truth is that your husband is a jerk for coming home late.

#3 – Make sure they know you are listening.

This is very hard to do and can feel contrived, but it is crucial to listening and being heard.

It ‘ s called a thoughtful response.

In the case of the example above, with the husband who didn ‘ t come home in time for dinner, the perfect response for him to say would be: ‘ I am sorry that my being late for dinner made you so sad. ‘ With that statement, you know your husband has understood what you are trying to say, which might deflate the argument.

The worst thing you can do is yell back at them, not letting them speak and get their feelings out. Because if you do that, the issue will come up again. Over and over and over.

#4 – Try to remember that we are all only human.

We all make mistakes. More often than not, our troublesome actions are not a reflection of our feelings about someone but are the result of a variety of things (time, motivation, energy level, distractions) that all work together and create a situation that isn ‘ t ideal.

A client of mine’s husband came home on Saturday without picking out the windows he promised her he would pick out. Furious, she said, ‘if you loved me, you would have picked out the windows.’

His mother had called when he was on his way, and he had to run over to help her with something. Yes, it’s not ideal, but it is why he couldn’t do what she had asked, not because he didn’t love him.

Next time you react to something your husband does, take a moment to figure out why it happened. Perhaps you won ‘ t need the two hours to decompress after all.

#5 – Be ready to say sorry and to forgive.

This can be the hardest thing for people ‘ ¦ to say they are sorry and to forgive perceived wrongs… but it is one of the most essential parts of any relationship.

Why don ‘ t we want to say we are sorry? Because it will convey weakness? Because we can ‘ t let go of our anger? Because we are embarrassed by our actions?

Whatever the reason, we need to learn how to do it. Next time you disagree with your husband, try apologizing. See how quickly the anger deflates on both sides.

With the husband who came home late, he should start with, ‘I am sorry that my lateness made you sad. That is apologizing not for the lateness but because of his wife’s pain.

What shouldn’t be said is, “I am sorry that my lateness made you sad, BUT I couldn’t help it.” In an apology, a BUT makes the apology completely ineffective. The BUT means you are making an excuse. You caused pain, no matter the reason, and that needs to be acknowledged.

Similarly, we need to forgive and not hold onto anger. Holding on to anger is one of the most destructive forces in any relationship. If your partner apologizes for his or her actions, you need to find it in your heart to remember that they are only human and that they have taken responsibility for their actions, and that life must move forward.

Final Words:

Arguing with your husband can be a common occurrence in any relationship. Still, it can adversely affect your mental and emotional well-being when it becomes frequent and disruptive. Understanding the causes of your arguments, using effective communication strategies, preventing arguments before they happen, and dealing with ongoing issues are crucial steps to stopping fighting with your husband and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

Remember that relationships take work, and moving past arguments and building stronger, healthier relationships is possible. Learning to stop fighting with your husband is vital to keeping your marriage healthy.

Conflict and the resulting anger with anyone can be devastating, especially with a partner. Left unchecked, anger can take on a life of its own and destroy everything in its path.

Don ‘ t let that happen to you. Try to carefully choose your time to talk. Don’t attack. Let them know you are listening and don’t hold on to the anger.

And then, perhaps, you can settle down to a lovely peaceful, conflict-free evening.

Sounds worth it, no?

Do youwant to know more about how to stop fighting with your husband?
Let me help you NOW before it’s too late!
Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, and let’s get started!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

How Life Coaching Can Help You – 5 Reasons To Find A Life Coach

June 2, 2016/2 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Everywhere you look, you are bombarded with the message that if you do this ONE THING (take a pill, buy a dress, fix your hair, lease a car), your life will change. And we have all tried that ONE THING, and no miraculous change has occurred.

Shocking! And disappointing.

Working with a life coach is different. The life coach’s approach to change differs from anything you have ever tried, and its potential to create significant change in your life is not to be underestimated.

Ready to be all that you want to be? Truly?

How Life Coaching Can Help You (5 Reasons)

Life coaching is the personal development that can help you achieve your goals and improve your overall quality of life. Unlike therapy or counseling, life coaching focuses on the present and future rather than the past.

A life coach helps you identify your strengths and weaknesses, set achievable goals, and develop a plan to achieve them.

#1. A life coach will help you define what you want and who you want to be.

We know we are dissatisfied with our lives, but most of us don ‘ t know what that looks like. A life coach will help you take stock of your life and define where you are and want to be.

Working with me, we will look at 5 critical areas of your life: physical & mental health, life skills, relationship health, personal care, and career satisfaction.

A good look at these areas will help us determine where you are now and where you want to be, information that is indispensable in bringing about change.

#2 – A life coach will help you create a plan.

Once you have a clear idea of where you are and where you want to be, it ‘ s time to make a plan. You can try to do this on your own, but oftentimes, the prospect seems so overwhelming and off-putting that you don ‘ t know where to start. So you don ‘ t.

A life coach can help you cut through the clutter and the chaos and help you create a plan to get you where you want to be, step by step.

#3 – A life coach will hold you accountable.

This is a vital part of life coaching, one of those things that you really CAN’Tfind anywhere else. Seriously. Anywhere else.

We all have friends and loved ones who support us and promise to make sure we do what we say we will do. But they love us, don ‘ t want to nag, and want us to be happy. And all of that is wonderful, but it doesn ‘ t help you reach your dreams.

Every week your life coach will work with you to create action steps, and every week the two of you will come up with a list of ‘ homework, ‘ things to be done to move you forward on your path.

Your coach will ask about your homework the following week, and I promise you will want to report that you did it. And you will want to do it because you will see how remarkable the change is happening.

#4 – A life coach will power you through the obstacles.

Rocks get onto the road that we are traveling. Sometimes they are small ones that we can pick up and toss aside, but sometimes, they are boulders that require more effort to maneuver around.

A life coach has the knowledge and experience to help you break through those rocks. A life coach can teach you the tools to get past any rock that might get in your way, big or small.

And those tools you can use now and carry in your toolbox forever.

#5 – A life coach will give you unconditional support and encouragement.

Think about a football coach. What does he do? He teaches his team how to play their best and cheers from the sidelines as they do so.

A life coach is the same way. A life coach is there to be your biggest cheerleader but, at the same time, teach you how to be your true self.

And a life coach will be there every step of the way to help you when you falter and cheer you on when you succeed.

Isn ‘ t that just the kind of unconditional support we all want?

Final Words:

Life coaching can be a powerful tool for personal growth and development. It can help you achieve your goals, improve communication skills, overcome limiting beliefs, and increase motivation and accountability. When choosing a life coach, finding someone who is qualified, experienced, and who you feel comfortable working with is essential.

So now you can see how life coaching is that ONE THING that can help you bring about significant, wondrous change.

Working with a life coach will help you finally live the life you have always known you could. And you don ‘ t need to change your hair color or ride to do so.

Of course, every time I mention a life coach above, I mean ME, so get in touch with me NOW, and let ‘ s start making your dreams come true!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

7 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Stuff and Breathe Easier

May 12, 2016/1 Comment/by Mitzi Bockmann

We all have stuff. It ‘ s just what Americans do. We collect stuff. Some of us have more of it than others, and some have a more challenging time controlling that stuff.

Having too much stuff can cause a ton of stress.

There is an efficient way to get rid of all that stress-inducing stuff, a few secrets of which I will share with you here today.

#1 – Identify what room needs to be de-stuffed first.

This is the key. If you look around the house and think, ‘ I need to get rid of ALL this stuff ‘ , you will get so overwhelmed that you will just go watch an episode of ‘ Orange is the New Black ‘ instead.

Choose one room. Any room. If you want to start small, do so. Like the mudroom or the laundry. Or even a dresser drawer. Completing the task of de-stuffing that room or drawer, will make you feel so good that it will make you want to tackle a larger room next.

#2 – Give yourself time to start and finish the project and prioritise it.

This is key. You need to make a date with that room that you won ‘ t break. If you try to do this ‘ when you have time ‘ well, you know. Most likely, it just won ‘ t happen.

When planning your week, choose an hour or two (or more) and put them on your calendar IN RED so you will see it, remember it and not change it. If it’s on your calendar, you will likely complete it!

Also, Salvation Army (and other charities) will pick up stuff from your house for free. So, call the Salvation Army and set up a pick up date with them. If you have a deadline to work around, you will be more likely to stick to your throw away schedule.

#3 – Turn on Spotify and set up your speakers.

Throwing away is way easier when done to music. Get out your favorite playlist, wear some comfy clothes and get ready to get down to it.

#4 – Start in one corner of the room.

This is a my special secret and one that WORKS!

In the chosen corner of the room, garbage bag in hand, throw things away. Things that you aren ‘ t using that are broken, that are expired. Put them in that garbage bag. Things you are still using, and keeping get placed nicely back where they belong.

If you aren ‘ t sure whether or not something needs to be thrown out, consider when the last time was that you touched that thing or even thought about it. If it was over 3 months ago, it ‘ s gone. Acknowledge and be thankful for its role in your life, and then say goodbye.

If you come across something emotionally fraught, just put it back and get to it later. Don’t let it shut down your learning out process.

Work your way around the room, repeating this process over and over. Don ‘ t skip ahead. Do all four sides of the room. You can do them all in one session or spread them out in more manageable chunks.

#5 – Use the middle of the room.

As you throw away the things that are broken and leave the things that aren ‘ t, you will come across things that can be 1. recycled or 2. given to the Salvation Army. Put those thing in the middle of the room, in two piles. When you are done, you can put the recycled stuff at the curb and wait for the Salvation Army to pick up the rest.

NOTE: if this step is overwhelming, dividing things into two piles, skip it and get a giant garbage bag. Put it all in the garbage, and don’t look back.

#6 – Take a minute and look around.

Stand in the doorway of that room. Appreciate how de-stuffed it is. Notice how it makes you feel. Less stressed? Recognize that YOU DID THIS. All by yourself.

Appreciating your hard work is a great way to be inspired to keep it up. I used to keep my dining room clean so that whenever I walked by it, I was reminded of what I could do.

If you can do this, imagine what else you can do ‘ ¦.

#7 – Do not buy more stuff.

I know this seems obvious, but it ‘ s what we do. We go to Sam ‘ s Club and think, ‘ Oh, look. This croquet set is so cheap, and summer is coming, and we could play together as a family and ‘ ¦. ‘ The reality is that it may get used once and then put away to gather dust.

Consider purchases carefully before making them. You will not only reduce your stress, but you will save yourself money. Money you can use for a massage or something else that will make your life better.

Getting rid of stuff can change your life. De-cluttering your house can de-clutter your mind, freeing it up for way more important things.

Choose what area of your house you would like to start on, set a date, put it to music and throw things away.

Decluttering your house will free you up for bigger things! How great would that feel?

Get in touch with me NOW to get yourself started. You will be glad you did!

 

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

7 Reasons Donald Trump & Every Man Wishes He Held the Woman Card

April 29, 2016/2 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


By now you have heard, I am sure, that according to Donald Trump the only reason that Hillary Clinton is being taken seriously is because she ‘ has the woman card. ‘ The interweb has, of course, gone nutty over this but what has surprised me is that women are shouting about all of the things that we women DON ‘ T have because we are holding the ‘ woman card, ‘ not all of the things that we DO have.

Here are 7 reasons why I believe that holding the woman card is a good thing, full of benefits that men just wish they had.

#1 – With the woman card we are powerful.

Say what you want but a man will do ANYTHING to win the woman he wants. ANYTHING. A man wanting a woman started the Trojan War, forced a king to abdicate his throne and has brought down more American politicians than I can count.

#2 – With the woman card we are capable of being pregnant and giving birth.

We propagate the species. Enough said.

#3 – With the woman card we can ask for directions and choose a parking space…

…freeing up innumerable hours in a lifetime to pursue other pleasures.

#4 – With the woman card are skilled in the art of faking ‘ it, ‘

…simultaneously making a man feel special and speeding up the process so that we can get some sleep. AND we can have multiple ‘ it ‘ without, um, recharging.

# 5 – With the woman card we can do many things that are deemed difficult or even impossible.

Like peeing standing up. Or giving birth without drugs. Or Thanksgiving dinner for 12.

#6 – With the woman card we can do many things at the same time.

We could even do #2-5 above without breaking a sweat and still have #1 be our reality.

# 7 – With the woman card we live longer.

We live longer. What man doesn ‘ t want that? The ultimate frequent ‘ woman card ‘ user reward ‘ ¦.

So. All you women out there. Remember. We rock. Don’t let anyone try to take your power or make you think less of yourself. Hold your head high, go for what you want and wield that woman card proudly.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

5 Reasons to Love Your Mother-in-Law, Even When It’s Really Hard

March 31, 2016/3 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Are you desperately seeking reasons to love your mother-in-law? Does it seem hard some days? Do you want to know if your mother-in-law likes you?

When you get married, more likely than not, you also get a mother-in-law, the woman who raised your partner. And quickly, there can arise conflict between you. She raised your partner and is used to things being done a certain way, and you married him or her and have your own opinions and traditions. This conflict can be really hard on a marriage. It can even destroy it.

Don ‘ t fret!

By understanding more about how your mother-in-law ‘ s brain works, you can improve your relationship with her and alleviate conflict and thereby strengthen your relationship with your partner.

Reasons to Love Your Mother-in-Law

Here are top 5 best reasons to love your mother-in-law.

#1 – Remember that she has experience that you don ‘ t have.

Our mothers-in-law have been doing what you are just beginning to do for probably more than a few decades. That is a lot of experience, experience that you should appreciate and take advantage of. You are new at all of this and can use all the help you can get, whether you know it or not.

An excellent way to get closer to your mother-in-law is to ask her to share that experience with you. Asking her questions, getting her opinions, sometimes even deferring to her wishes will all help you connect with her. And if she feels like she is playing part of her child’s new life, she will be way easier to get along with.

So mine some of the experience that you have right at hand. You will be glad you did, for many reasons.

#2 – Remember that she did raise your partner.

I know it ‘ s hard to imagine your mother-in-law gave birth to your partner. She fed them and bathed them, and changed their diapers for years. She taught them how to do just about everything that they do.

Your mother-in-law profoundly influenced your partner ‘ s life for 18 years or more. And that shouldn ‘ t be discounted. She even deserves some credit and respect for the fact that she did that.

My mother-in-law always told me that her son could vacuum a toilet like a madman. I told her that I had retrained him after 20 years of marriage: he cleaned nothing anymore. I see now that that was a slap in her face. She worked hard to raise the person that she did and should be recognized, and appreciated for that.

And remember, you did fall in love with the person she raised ‘ ¦.

#3 – Remember that she loves your kids as much, if not more, than you do.

They say that being a grandparent is the most wonderful thing in the world. You get all the joys of being a parent without all the difficulties. So know that, at the very least, one more person is madly in love with your child.

I know that my grandmother was a huge positive influence in my life. She hadn ‘ t been a great mother to my mother, but, for me, she was amazing. And I have learned, from my mother, that having grandchildren is the best thing ever happening to her.

An older couple holding a baby and another elderly woman.

So appreciate that this person loves your children as much as she does. After all, every person who loves your child is a gift.

#4 – Remember that she does want to help.

Mothers in-law don ‘ t set out to drive us crazy. They don ‘ t mean to criticize our parenting or complain about the state of our kitchen. They are there, in the house, to be with their children and grandchildren.

And, more often than not, their intentions are good.

Perhaps how they speak up about our parenting or housekeeping skills is abrasive and stinging, but remember, they are only human and most likely just trying to help. Really.

So next time your mother-in-law is in your house, put her to work. She can hang out with the kids or help you fold the laundry or take your partner out for a break. Mothers are used to being busy, and when she is at your house, a ‘guest,’ she might feel put out and useless.

I am sure there is some help somewhere that you need.

#5 – Remember that you are lucky to have her and that she won ‘ t always be there.

So many mothers start with no support. Their mother and mother-in-law is far away, no longer alive, or absent.

We are lucky to have someone there who can support us when we are new or even more seasoned parents. My mother lived in Virginia, and while she was there right after my daughter was born, she could only stay a week.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law lived close by. And while we didn’t always see eye to eye, she was there some times when I needed her. I am very lucky that I had that.

Also, remember, none of us are getting any younger, so our mothers-in-law might not always be there for us. Appreciate how lucky you are and make the best of it.

To love your mother-in-law is not always easy, but I promise you that doing so will be worth it in the long run.

Learn from her experience, have respect for the years she cared for your spouse, know that she adores your kids, put her to work and appreciate that she exists.

After all, your partner loves her. She is his or her mother. Your loving her shows your partner how much you love them, which makes everybody happy.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

5 Reasons: Why Do I Need A Life Coach?

March 24, 2016/by Mitzi Bockmann


When we get married and have kids, no one gives us a manual on being an effective spouse or parent. As a result we are more often than not just winging it. We check websites, talk to our friends, and listen to our mothers, but we are just flying by the seat of our pants, trying to follow our instincts. And we do the best that we can.

Imagine someone walking by your side, whispering in your ear, encouraging and supporting you through those tough life decisions. A life coach can do that for you.

Why Do I Need A Life Coach?

In this article, I will explain the 5 reasons that why you need a life coach.

#1 – To feel less torn and more whole in a million different directions.

The key role that a life coach plays in the life of a mom is to help identify opportunities and make a plan. Many moms are so caught up in the day-to-day struggle of getting things done that they lose sight of the big picture. When working with me, instead of winging it, a mom is working a daily plan that helps her reach her goal as she defines it, a plan she has helped create, so she knows it will work for her.

One of my clients was completely overwhelmed by her life…managing her work at home and at the office, her kids, her volunteer work and her friends. We took a good hard look at what was important to her and what was not, and we planned to manage those things in a way that left her more satisfied, less torn, and happier.

#2 – To feel less exhausted and more energized.

Imagine going to bed each night and waking up each morning knowing how you will get through your day. You know how you will take care of yourself so that you can manage this crazy life of yours and not come undone. Imagine how energizing that will feel. You are no longer flying by the seat of your pants, which leaves you feeling completely drained. If you identify your opportunities, plan and work through them, this will happen.

Kris knew that she would have to get rid of her farm because the chore work was more than she could handle with the work around her family. She was devastated because her farm was the best part of her day. We looked at what it was about her farm that was so overwhelming, and she kept on coming back to her back pain ‘ ¦a pain made more intense by her farm work and made her less able to care for her family.

We made a plan for her to see her doctor and get PT, and within six months, she was able to farm AND take care of her family. She said that attending to that one thing, her back, was life changing for her.

#3 – To feel supported and heard.

You have many friends, a loving partner, siblings and co-workers who all make you feel supported and heard. But all of those people have lives of their own that they have to attend to, and they are more likely than not going to tell you what you want to hear. Not a life coach. I am here to provide you unconditional support when you need it most. And I will listen to you and empathize, but I will challenge you on your thinking to make sure that the choices you are making and the path you are choosing is the right path for you.

#4 – To improve your relationships.

Life as a mother is chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting. We are pulled in a million different ways, and, often as not, we are crabby as hell. We snap at our kids, sulk at our partners and ignore our mothers. All of these things do not improve our relationships. Working with a life coach will allow you to define your goals, give you a path to get there and ultimately give you the life of your dreams. And when you are happy, your children will thrive, your relationship will flourish and your career will soar. Everybody wins!

#5 – To hold you accountable and help you celebrate.

The best thing about a life coach is that I will hold you accountable in reaching your dreams. I will be there, by your side, supporting you step by step and if, for some reason, you falter, I will pick you up by your bootstraps and get you back on the path. And then, when you reach the life of your dreams, I will be there to help you celebrate because I will know, more than anyone, how hard you have worked to achieve it. Imagine how good that will feel reaching your dreams.

I know it’s hard to believe that you deserve one, but remember this: if a woman is living the life of her dreams, her relationship will be happier, her children better adjusted, her friendships stronger and her work more successful.

Have you had experience working with a life coach? If so, did it work for you?

If you’re a woman and you are thinking about working with a life coach, please contact me for a free 45-minute phone session!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

5 Ways To Be More Productive In Life & Work

March 9, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


So there aren ‘ t enough hours in the day, are there? There are school lunches to be made, buses to be caught, meetings to attend, dogs to be walked, homework to be done, mothers to be called, and TV shows to catch up on. The list is endless and impossible to manage.

Or is it?

Believe it or not there are ways to get on top of your to-do list.

5 Ways To Be More Prodcutive:

Here are 5 best ways to be more productive in life and work.

#1 – Use a notebook.

A spiral bound notebook. A notebook that makes you happy to look at and that you don ‘ t want to lose. This is the key to being productive. Every organized person you know has one.

It is in this notebook that you keep your to-do list. When something new comes up, you add it to your list. The to-do list in your notebook.

You do not keep your to-do list on paper that gets lost between the car seats or eaten by the dog. Your to-do list is in a notebook you can ‘ t throw away and refuse to lose track of.

#2 – Set priorities.

Every morning take 10 minutes to review your to-do list and to set priorities. You can do this by starring or highlighting the things on your list that you need to get done that day.

Many of us do first the things on our list that we don ‘ t mind doing and don ‘ t do what needs to be done.

Jill HATED making phones calls to set up appointments. As a result she never did set up appointments, so her dishwasher didn ‘ t get fixed, her son missed his doctor ‘ s appointment, and her daughter ‘ s permission slip didn ‘ t get signed. Once she started setting her priorities Jill 1) didn ‘ t have to make all of her phones calls at the same time but made them when they needed to be made (which made them less daunting) and 2) things that usually fell through the cracks (and did more work for her) no longer fell through the cracks.

#3 – Say No!

This is key. It is very, very hard for us to say no. We don ‘ t want to say no for various reasons, whether it ‘ s because we want to do something or we feel like we should do something or we think we need to do something. But before you say yes, look at why you are saying yes.

Janet always said yes, no matter what was asked of her. She liked to keep busy and didn ‘ t want to let anyone down. But of course she ended up letting everyone down because she couldn ‘ t be as effective at her tasks as she might have been. Once she started looking at why she was saying yes, and why she wasn ‘ t saying no, she could pick and choose what she said yes to. Once she did that, she managed her time more effectively and successfully completed each task.

#4 – If it takes less than 10 minutes, DO IT.

Next time you have a few minutes, while waiting for the bus to arrive, or for a phone call to come in or while the kids are watching TV, look at your list. Is there anything on it that you can get done in 10 minutes or less? If there is, DO IT! It ‘ s those little things that are daunting and tend to add up.

And let me tell you, from personal experience, there is nothing more mood-enhancing then crossing something off your list.

#5 – Check your computer only 3 times a day.

Yes, I know. This is the hard one. We are all addicted to our screens. Totally. And I am sure you are familiar with the phenomenon known as ‘ screen sucking. ‘ This is when your computer/phone/tablet screen sucks up your time before you know it. A great way to add time to your day is to stay away from your screen.

I have a client who used to check her phone every moment she got at the expense of everyone and everything around her. She checked it three times a day for one week at my suggestion: once in the morning, once at mid-day and once after dinner. It was painful in the beginning, she reported, but by the end of the week the amount of time she had to be productive had dramatically increased. So try it for one week. See what happens.

There are 24 hours in our day, and everyone should sleep for 8. That leaves you 16 hours a day to use wisely. If you do, your life will be simpler, you will be happier, and those around you will thrive.

Remember- work smarter, not harder. If you feel constantly overwhelmed with your daily tasks to the point where your life is not joyful, let’s talk.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

How To Make your Husband Feel Loved: 5 Best Ideas

March 3, 2016/4 Comments/by Mitzi Bockmann


Being a mom and a partner can be tough.

From the moment that your child is born all your genetic material calls to you to make this child your priority. To make sure it survives in this perilous world.

Unfortunately, it is this exact thing that can create a huge divide between you and your partner. Until your child is born, you put your relationship with your partner first. Suddenly that is no longer the case, and this can cause severe strain between the two of you, which can stretch a marriage to breaking without a little care and keeping.

How To Make Your Husband Feel Loved:s

It is possible to to find ways to make your husband feel loved. Here are some ways to start!

#1 – Make sure you speak their language.

Most of us express our love for our partners the way we want to be loved. If we like hugs, we give them to our partner, hoping they will feel our love for them. Or we might give them gifts, showing them that we are attached to them.

Unfortunately, this tactic can fail because, despite our efforts, if our partner needs something different to feel loved, then our efforts will fall flat.

Fortunately, there is a tool at hand that will help you learn to understand ways to make your husband feel loved.

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman lists 5 ways someone wants to be loved – physical touch, words of affection, quality time, acts of service and receiving gifts. If you can understand what your partner needs to feel loved, then you can do those things instead of what you need. And they will feel loved.

I would encourage both of you should go to the 5 Love Languages website,www.5lovelanguages.com, and take the love languages test so that you can learn what your partner needs to feel loved.

I works. Big time. I promise.

#2 – Use your words.

I hear it all the time. I ask a client if they tell their husband that they love them and my client says, ‘ He knows that I love do. ‘

Maybe this is true, and maybe it is not. Regardless, you should look your husband in the eye and tell him daily that you love them.

It means a lot for people to be told that they are loved or that they are beautiful, or that you miss them. They might ‘ know it ‘ already, but words are very meaningful.

A client’s of mine never heard from her spouse when he was away, and it was very painful because she missed him. They argued about it almost every time he left, but she wasn’t clear why she wanted to hear from him, so he didn’t change his behavior. I suggested that she tell him she loved him very much and missed him when he was gone.

She says he has called her every night he is away since she told him how she felt.

So use your words to express your feelings. You will be happy you did.

#3 – Touch him.

Touch is one of the most primeval ways to communicate with another person.

Long before there were words, scientists say, humans beings communicated with gestures and touch. Animals still do. We know the importance of touch with our babies; that touch encourages bonding and trust. Take that same perspective with your husband.

Touch him when he walks in the door, take his hand in the hardware store, wrap yourself around him when you go to sleep at night.

Touching your partner will speak volumes about your love for them.

#4 – Be kind.

I know this seems basic, but it is something that gets lost in the chaos of family life.

I know, from personal experience, that as our family grew, as my life became more stressful, I took it out on my husband. I nit picked and nagged and snapped and even yelled, all for things that were as often as not not his fault. And I saw the hurt in his eyes every time I did it. I would take it all back if I could. My not being kind to him created a chasm that was hard to repair.

A man and woman sitting at a table with a laptop.

I have a client who came to me about problems with her husband. They had a 2 year old, and she felt the distance growing between them every day but she didn ‘ t know why. When I asked if she was kind to him she looked at me with surprise, paused and said, with a sense of wonder, ‘ no. ‘

She intended to be kind that day, and it has brought them back together in a very meaningful way.

#5 – Give them freedom.

You know the saying, ‘ If you love someone, set them free. ‘

Often, amidst the chaos of every day life, we cling to our partners as a life raft, needing them with us always to keep us from drowning in the messiness. However, this clinginess can drive someone away because your partner will resent your need to constantly have them by your side.

You should have some time away from the chaos, regularly, together and sometimes apart. We were all individuals once before we became a couple and then a family, and it ‘ s important to nurture that individual in ourselves, so that we can be a better partner and parent.

I know that looking for ways to make your husband feel love can feel like a lot of effort and something what will add a lot of stress to your life.

But doing so is important.

Stop for a minute and try to imagine what it would feel like to love and feel loved by your partner every day, as you navigate this crazy world. Pretty good.

Are you looking for ways to make your husband feel loved?

Let me help you learn some tools, NOW, before it goes too far!

Email me at mitzi@letyourdreamsbegin.com, or click here, and let’s get started!

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

The 5 Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

February 4, 2016/1 Comment/by Mitzi Bockmann


You know that you aren ‘ t satisfied with your chaotic, jam-packed life. You wake up in the morning drained and dreading the day. You are impatient with your friends and co-workers because you have too much on your mind.

You yell at your kids when bedtime gets delayed because you know that you have many things to do that you don ‘ t want to do. You are not happy, and you want to change that.

Greatest Obstacles To Reaching Your Dreams

In this article I will tell you the 5 greatest obstacles that will keep you from reaching your dreams. You will be surprised how simple it is to overcome these obstacles!

#1 – Not knowing what your dream is.

We all know we want to be ‘ happy, ‘ but most of us cannot define that. So make a list. Be specific. Knowing what your goals are makes it much easier to get there.

#2 – Listening to what our brains are telling us.

Our brains can be our biggest enemy. Our brains will tell us that we can ‘ t change, that we can ‘ t achieve anything worthwhile, that all is hopeless. These are all lies, but we are hardwired to believe them. Learning not to listen to what our brain tells us is very important. When I started thinking about being a life coach, my brain tried to talk me out of it daily. I learned to tell it to just shut up.

#3 – Listening to what other people are telling us.

Whether we ask for it or not, we are constantly inundated with other peoples opinions. What we shouldn ‘ t do is believe everything that we are told. People bring their own experiences to a conversation ‘ ¦someone might have tried and failed at what you are trying to do so they will tell you that it ‘ s hopeless. People aren ‘ t stop telling you what to do but you can take it all with a grain of salt and do what YOU think you should do (taking into account #2 above).

#4 – Lack of accountability.

Ok, think New Years Resolutions. You make them on January 1st and intend to follow through on them. By January 31st, or 15th, those intentions are gone. This is because you have no one to hold you accountable. No one to make sure that you follow through. Your friends can try but they have their resolutions to let go of. You need accountability to follow through effectively.

#5 – Life.

Yes, the chaotic, jam-packed and exhausting life that moms, and every woman, leads everyday. That life is what interfered with us reaching our dreams in the first place and what allows us to keep putting them off ‘ until things quiet down. ‘ I am here to tell you that things will never quiet down. You need to make time to reach your dreams or you will never do so.

So there you go. The 5 Greatest Challenges to Reaching Your Dreams. They are pretty simple. Not one of these challenges is beyond your abilities to overcome. All it takes is some knowledge, intention and guidance.

 

Overcoming these challenges in order to reach your dreams can be tough for many people, and it’s often much less challenging with some guidance. If you’d like help figuring out your dreams and paving a way to reach them, get in touch for your first free session with me.

Mitzi Bockmann
Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention,  Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.

Page 24 of 24«‹222324

I'm here to help

I am a New York City-based Certified Life Coach with 10 years experience as a working life coach. I am certified through the Coach Training Alliance and I am a member of the International Coach Federation.

Over the years I have worked with hundreds of people, like you, to help make serious change in their lives. These people have succeeded at, among other things, restoring the love in their relationships, getting to know themselves again and finding their place in the world.

Contact Me

More About Obstacles

  • 5 Ways to Process The Pain When Your Married Man Betrays You…Again5 Ways to Process The Pain When Your Married Man Betrays You…Again

    1 Jan 2026

  • Ultimate Guide to Conflict Resolution for Long-Distance CouplesThe Ultimate Guide to Conflict Resolution for Long-Distance Couples

    25 Dec 2025

  • How to Trust Yourself Again After Emotional AbuseHow to Trust Yourself Again After You Have Been Emotionally Abused

    18 Dec 2025

  • Home
  • Work with Me
  • Free Session
  • About Mitzi
  • Success Stories
  • Blog
  • Contact

Connect with Mitzi

  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
  • Instagram
  • Facebook

© Copyright 2024 – Let Your Dreams Begin

Heidi
Heidi
Scroll to top